Short video conversation where Josh Trent and Mike discuss a mental "screen" inspired by NFL player Nate Hobgood Chittick — a selective filter that lets in only constructive feedback (the "half step") and excludes humiliating noise. Mike explains the signal-vs-noise metaphor and how practicing selective attention can improve micro-decisions. The conversation then shifts to the third screen — remembrance of death — and a small practice of saying goodbyes with presence to increase appreciation and focus.
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One of the things that I loved is you talk about the three screens, which is, I love the rule of thirds. I don't know if it came from Fibonacci sequence or just in your own models of psychology, but there was a reference to Nate Hobgood Chittick. I hope I said his name right.
You did.
NFL player. He was young, he was in college sports and even, I think, peewee football. And his coaches were telling him, you're too slow, you can't do this. And he developed this screen where he would only let certain things come in that were actually of service to him. You talk about the screen model. Obviously this takes practice. This is not some, like, panacea where once you hear this, you guys, it's gonna fix your life. But if you practice it, just like meditation or breath work, it can fundamentally shift you.
Yeah.
Can you talk about the screens a little bit?
Yeah. So Nate Hobgo, Chitic, dear friend of mine, no longer with us. He passed away, we believe, related to cte. He won a Super bowl. And so he was an elite athlete in the NFL, I should say. He didn't win the Super Bowl. He was a member of a Super bowl winning team and a significant contributor in a lot of ways. And so during our friendship, at one point he goes, he's laughing and he's got this huge personality, belly laugh that's like abundance of joy inside of him. And he's a large human at like 6, 4, 300 pounds.
Was he like offensive line or D line?
D line.
D line, yeah.
And which, for folks that aren't familiar on the defensive line, you're one of the humans that is trying to dismantle the quarterback. And so very large, fast, powerful human, big joy, belly laugh, spirit for life. And he's. And he's laughing as he says this to me. And he says, mike, you have no idea what it's like to grow up in football where grown men in front of your friends are screaming at you, there is spit flying from their mouth. They say that they want to help you, but it's really about you. You getting the right that they're trying to explain to you, and it's not going according to plan. And they scream at you, when are you going to get it? You're too slow. You're never going to figure this out. I've told you a thousand times, a half step, just a half step, that's all. Why are you taking a full step? What's wrong? Guys? Look, do you think Nate's ever going to figure this thing out. Jesus, dude, why don't you get in the locker room? Wrap it up, dude. Because it's not working out. I'm tired. So that's a coach's voice. And Nate says, like, that is so dismantling of self to be humiliated in that way where there's, like I said, spit flying from the animation and the vitriol of disdain from the coach.
I remember that myself in high school football, feeling that feeling.
Yeah. And so what he said is that he had to figure out, and this was kind of his own creativity. He says, I put up a screen. I knew that the only thing out of that entire dramatic experience was it was not what my friends were going to think. It's not what the other coaches were going to think. It's not all that. You're never going to make it. It's. None of that was going to help. I put up a screen that was porous in such a way that the only thing that was going to come in was the thing that was going to help me. So I had to look for it, though. And the thing in that narrative I just said is half step. I told you what you need to do is a half step. And so that would come in and all of the other nonsense would fall away at the outside of screen. The thing that would come is half step. And he'd walk away. Right, got it. Half step. That's what I'm doing. So all that other noise was just that. And I think that this signal to noise ratio tends to be a well accepted principle in engineering. It's a psychological principle as well. If you can figure out the difference between noise and signal and you have a tuning fork for the signal, you're on your path now. To figure out the noise of what others think for the most part is radically distracting. And the signal is how do I line up my thoughts, words and actions to be my very best right now? And there's micro choices that we're constantly making. And him putting up a screen was helping him with that micro choice.
Sure.
Let me take in the information that's going to serve me well to be able to later line up a thought word in action. And the action was a half step in this point. And so I just. I miss Nate. I love Nate. He offered so much to the world. And I want to share the screen pass, if you will. You know, the screen that he developed, and I think I share it with my son. I share it as often as I can. I think it's a really powerful tool.
The Third screen is important. It's related to him as well. It's death.
Yeah, that's right.
So if you are. Remember, if you're in the remembrance of death, then there's nothing that could really get in your way if we can embody that. Now, embodying that is not always easy because it's not like I'm sitting here with you ruminating on death the whole time. Right.
But no, you don't want to do that.
Just talking about it, though, just. Just reminding oneself at the opportune moments can maybe help that tuning fork.
Yeah. I think the idea of it's. This is not a new idea, which is, you know, life is fragile, Death is coming. Prepare yourself well for death. And the samurai approach that I've been attracted to with death is that I want to die a noble death. And that doesn't mean in a certain way or a certain time. It means at the moment of my death, I want to be very clear. I want to be connected to my core virtues. At the moment, maybe my head will be lopped off and I think about the moment that I'm going to die. Will I be present? Will I be connected to the experience? And will I. My training of today, will it show up then and then. So that's kind of the long arc of it, and we don't know how long. But the mystery, the small arc here is not attending to that death is going to happen between you and I, but that life is fragile, so be in it. And when you experience death and trauma, you. You can begin to embrace just how fragile life is. No one's getting through this world without trauma. You know, small T, big T, you've got it. We've all got it. And if we can get in touch with that, and hopefully we know people that, you know. Not hopefully, but because I don't know the age of your audience, but death has happened around us as well. It's a reminder that, hey, listen, it's coming. How do you want to honor the time that you're with your people? So I have a small practice that now I'm kind of giving the gig up is that when I say goodbye to you, like, I'm going to mean it. And so it's a small practice to me because I don't know when I'll see you again.
Sure.
And maybe it's never. Maybe it is. You know, maybe you're out in Cali in the next couple weeks. I don't know. So when I say goodbye, I mean it. And I just. Honoring the fragility of it. So that prepares me for my next engagement with anybody to be more in it. Because I just practiced a mini death. And, you know, my wife is like, God, Mike, it's just so heavy, you know, can't we just. Whatever, you know? But it does. It helps me be more present because I don't know when it's gonna evaporate.
Evaporate's an interesting word. That's basically what happens because we're mostly water. I just take a sip of water. Check out some of the videos on this screen that are perfectly curated based on the video you just saw. Make sure you follow me, and I'll see you in the next video.
