😣 NAVIGATE UNCERTAINTY 🧠 Discover how to stop the negative feedback loop | Wellness Force #Podcast

Here we are in 2021. So many people. I think the math is now almost 100 million Americans. They're either bankrupt or they've lost other savings. Like, financial stressor is a big one. It is a big one. And honestly, I think it's one of the biggest wounds in our collective society that's in the process of being healed by cryptocurrency and things like this. That's why they're coming up. But the practical strategies for people to use in this climate, this literally fire and brimstone is what it feels like. I mean, we're in like a. It almost feels like a biblical time in some way. Do you feel this? And can you go through at least some of the practical strategies for people to navigate this rough ocean?

Yeah, I absolutely relate to what you're talking about. And I think this feeling of uncertainty, you know, and I'm glad you talk about the financial stress because, you know, the people that are doing fine, they point to the stock market and they say, what financial stress? And then everybody else points to the fact that they don't have a job or that they're underemployed or that they're working three different jobs to try to just make.

Forced to close their business.

Yeah, yeah. All these business, like these, these restaurateurs who didn't know that this thing was going to go on, so they just poured their life savings in. They're like, if I can make it one more month, one more month, they're done now they're all going bankrupt. You know, so all of this. So here I would say one pragmatic aspect is to separate out the worry from the thinking. Right? So remember, fear plus uncertainty equals anxiety. Well, uncertainty also can move us into a growth mindset. So when. When there's a lot of uncertainty and we're really feeling, you know, down on our luck or really stressed out because of our finances, in those moments when we're really worrying, worrying, worrying about the finances, if folks can just take a deep breath, like you talked about earlier, step back and ask themselves, is this worrying helping? I'm going to repeat that. Is this worrying helping me right now?

Okay.

Because worry makes our thinking brain go offline. What do we need to go and find the next thing? Thing? If we, you know, if we're unemployed or underemployed or whatever, we need our thinking brain, what do we need to do in today's age? We need to be able to think beyond our narrow sense of what we used to do because the world has Changed a lot. It has had this seismic shift that's never going to go back, and we don't even know what that's going to look like. So here we can ask ourselves, what am I getting from worrying? See if we can step out of the worry and lean into that challenge. I'm not saying this is easy, but I'm saying this is what we can do, right? Lean into this and say, okay, how can I move into my growth mindset and say, okay, what is available?

What's.

What's possible for me here now?

And it's a simple question, but the answer may not be easy because there's so many people that are experiencing all of our stuff. I mean, let's be honest, all of our shit's coming up right now, okay? Anytime we are squeezed, all of our broken pieces, stuff we haven't dealt with, maybe familial patterns, generational trauma, capital T, lowercase T, trauma, everything that we've been kind of not looking at, for lack of a better term, is going to surface when we are squeezed. And so I think it's really beautiful. I know it sounds crazy, and people might be watching or listening, being like, what do you mean it's beautiful? Like, I'm losing my home or I'm losing this. I feel you. I understand. I've been there. I've cried on a golf course at 2 in the morning before I started this podcast six years ago. I get it. But what I'm trying to say is, and what I'm curious how you feel is how do we look at this as a collective gift? Yes, there's pain. Yes, there's torment. There's a lot of things that are just completely out of our control. But for the everyday human being that maybe doesn't have their financial future planned and they're in that space, how do they turn, take a breath, and look at it and say, all right, I'm gonna pick out the things that I actually can control, and I'm gonna do something in my life that's meaningful to myself and my family, regardless of the trauma and the circumstance.

So I think there are two things there. One is to maybe three. One is to start by grounding ourself, right? You know, so that we can actually think. If we're freaked out, we can't force ourselves to look at this as a gift. It might feel like we're failing even more. Like, I can't even think of this as a says to do this, and I can't do this. So it's not about Forcing ourselves to see things in a certain way. I think sometimes positive psychology gets a bad rap because they think of it as just think positive thoughts. And there's the one liner on positive psychology. You can't just think positive thoughts. It doesn't work that way. Our reward systems don't work that way because they don't land, they're not felt. You can think of it as our thinking brain doesn't hold a candle to our feeling body. It's really that if, if we can bring up that feeling, that's what's going to drive a change in behavior. So first thing is grounding ourselves. The second thing is really kind of rubbing our gently, kindly, compassionately rubbing our faces in our, you know, our worry. For example, if we're worrying all the time, asking that question, what am I getting from this? So that we become disenchanted with the worry. So that we're, you know, we see, well, that's not helping me. And it helps us not spend time there. The third thing is, and I talk about this a little bit in my book, is finding that bigger, better offer. So finding small moments throughout the day where there is something where we're a little more open, we're a little more connected. Somebody who's been kind to us, we've been kind to somebody else. And just remembering those things. This is where there's a lot of research on gratitude practice. You know, remembering those things helps us move in the open direction. And so here I would say anything that helps us open. So kindness and curiosity are my two favorites, right? Anything that helps us open helps us see what we have right in front of us as a gift. You know, this amazing thing of being human, you know, it's mind blowing just to contemplate it when we're in the right mindset. So this is about being open to that peace and helping ourselves open by fostering curiosity, fostering kindness. And I actually put a short, I think my favorite two minute animation out on YouTube is about spreading, you know, kindness. Kindness can be spread as more of a contagion than a physical virus, you know, because you don't have to be near somebody. You can spread through social contagion where it could be a tweet, it could be a text, it could be on Instagram, it could be whatever. And when we tap into that power of kindness, what it feels like when somebody's kind to us. This is the pay it forward piece. We're inspired to help others, but we have to see that cause and effect relationship. We have to see how good it feels to receive the kindness of others and also to be kind to others, genuinely not like in a sure way where we're expecting something in return. Yeah.

The big breath and the big lesson that I've gotten, and I know so many people have gotten in witnessing this amazing dialogue is peacefulness is a skill. Being peaceful, practicing kindness, having the spacious awareness to even be curious about something or practice kindness takes a radical skill set and really an unwavering commitment to being your best loving self. And people could say that we're sitting around a fire singing Kumbaya. No, I'm talking about like real, practical, everyday living that is going to allow us to live our lives well.

Sam.