Rob Dial | How To Stop Procrastinating + Create Your Dream Life

Procrastination is the symptom, but it's not the cause. It's like the downstream effect. Say you have a friend, you go over to their house, and you've never been to his house before. You've known him for like five years. You go over to his house and you walk into the garage and he's got these paintings, and they're just incredible. And you're like, oh, my God, man. Like, these are so good. I didn't know you painted. He's like, yeah, you know, like, it's a hobby of mine. And I'm like, you ever thought about selling these? He's like, no. Well, they're not perfect yet. I'm a perfectionist. Not perfect yet. They could still use a little bit of changing and all that. And what's really happening is it's not that they're not perfect. It's that he's afraid of something. So what he's. He's afraid of is most likely not perfectionism, Other people's judgment. We're born creative. All of us have some sort of creativity that we love. There's so many people in this world that are just creatively constipated where they have all of this creativity that's inside of them. And we were put here to create. In the eyes of the creative, we're literally a piece of God. And God creates, and we're supposed to create as well. And so many people just stop it because they're afraid of what other people think of them.

Yeah.

Foreign.

We're here. We made it.

We are.

There's a big story. There's. There's rolling for you about leveling up, and there's a story about us here on planet Earth. Dude, it's like, been the craziest story since we podcasted last.

Yeah.

Give people like a 30 second update as to you rebranded. You used to be the Monday, Wednesday, Friday motivation.

Yeah.

That's how I knew you back in the day. But now you're the mindset mentor, so give us, like, the skinny, the high level on that.

So we both started. I think you started. When did you start? In 2015.

2015.

When, though? What month was it?

June.

Okay, so you were June, I was August. And so we were both in podcasters paradise. And I kind of met you through that and you were already, like, in new and noteworthy, so I was like, oh, this guy's doing it. He's doing something.

Well, back in the day on itunes, and it was.

I wanted to be like, as I try to try to make things as simple as possible for people. Like, that's the one thing I try to do is I read an article a long time ago says the average American only reads at an 8th grade reading level. So I was like, all right, how can I make this as easy as possible? It's Monday, it's Wednesday, Friday. It's motivational MWF motivation. But then eventually what I found is I actually hate the word motivation. I just don't like it. And the reason why is because people think that they need it in order to do something. And so I wanted to distance myself. After about three and a half years, I was like, I need to change it. And so I changed it to the mindset mentor. And yeah, man, I don't know. I don't know what happened. Things just kind of took off. They were. It was slowly building. For years, 2020 hit and then I went really hardcore of trying to like, while everyone's going through all of this stuff, you know, we were in Sedona for four months. During the entire thing, we were there for four weeks. The lockdown hit and we stayed for four months. And I got. I knew what everyone was going through and I was like, I'm just going to keep putting out the best stuff that I possibly can to try to help people during this period. And there was like an uptick during that time. And then it just kind of got. It's its own thing now. I made it in my first few episodes. I still lived at my friend's house. I lived in one of his rooms and I had literally this microphone shirt, SM7B and just started recording and then recorded him. I didn't like the first few episodes. So I ended up buying a house eventually and ended up launching. I bought the house in July and in August is when I launched a podcast. So it's been eight years now. So it's been this, this crazy ride where it's. It's. I never did it because I wanted to make money. Like there wasn't a. We couldn't make money back then. There was no like way to make. There's no sponsors really came in. I just did it. I like just straight passion. Like I feel like I have. I have stuff in my mind that's helped me get through a lot of trauma and I feel obligated to teach it, taught it, and just kind of grown from there. And so now it's one of the top 100 in the world, which is a crazy thing.

I mean, 150 million downloads is nothing.

To almost at 300 now. Okay, so it's double.

So we got to update your bio there.

Yeah, my bio is probably. I don't update a whole lot of stuff. All right.

You know, it's fascinating to me because I think about the journey that all of us are on, and I mentioned story when we started the podcast. Like, everything in life is truly a story. It's one of the things in the book. It's on the screen right now. It's level up how to get focused, stop procrastinating, and upgrade your life. I mean, coming from a pizza delivery man in your teens and then working with Cutco. By the way, shout out to Hal Elrod. He used to be your coach. Like, you've had the journey, but the journey came with probably a lot of negative self talk that you then got over. And I'm sure in some way that fueled exactly what you're sharing with people now. Like, you're not a medical doctor, this isn't medical advice, and you're not a psychotherapist, but holy shit. I'm sure so many people come to your work when they're just starting the journey. Maybe as a jumping off point. Like, where do people begin when they're just starting? Personal development. Even that term, personal development. I don't even know how you feel about that term. But to develop oneself is almost. It's almost a catch 22. Because if you love Alan Watts, and I know you do, we share an affinity for Alan Watts. There's a wisdom in insecurity, much like his book title. How do you feel about that? Like, when do people come to you? I'm sure you've gotten a ton of feedback on, like, hey, I started your podcast at this point in the journey. Is it always the beginning, or are people coming to you after they've done a ton of work? Like, what does that look like?

Yeah. I mean, there's some people that literally like, hey, I had a terrible day. I was in depression. I just typed mindset inside of. Inside of itunes. And it popped up. And that's very common. But there's also people who are like. I mean, I have people who are therapists that listen to my stuff, and they're like, I use it with the people that I work with because I just. I guess they give a different perspective than what they give in school. And so there's. There's a lot of people that are, like, brand new in the journey, and they're just trying to figure out, like, what's going on in my life. And they start Listening that way.

Yeah.

But there are a lot of people who are actually extremely successful, you know, like, we had some people who. We ran an event two weeks ago, and there were people that were making millions of dollars a year that are like, I'm addicted to your podcast. There was one guy who was there. It was a crazy journey. He came up to me before the event started, and he's like, I want to introduce myself. My name is Alex. And then he started crying, and I was like. I was like, hey, man, no worries. Like, what's going on? He's like, I am from Venezuela, and eight years ago, I left Venezuela. I moved to Miami. I had to move there because I. Without my wife because I had to get a visa. She hadn't gotten a visa yet. I moved there. He was super successful in Venezuela, moved to the US and started washing dishes. And that was just kind of how he started. And he's like, the problem was, I moved to Miami. I knew no English at all. And he's like, I'm just going to start listening to podcasts. And he found mine, and he's like, I actually learned how to speak English from listening to your podcast. And he goes, the only problem with that is now I say shit and fuck all the time because you cuss all the time in the podcast. And so he's making a joke about it, but he's like. He's like, I learned English by washing dishes and listening to your podcast all day, every day. And now he's. You know, his dream was to be able to get a job at Apple. He's a manager at Apple now. He's moved his way up the ranks. He moved from Miami to Austin to follow his manager that was opening an office, I guess, a store here. And so it's every type of person you could think of. But I think the thing that's, for me is just like, I'm just so passionate about, like, figuring out why we are, who we are. Like, I just. Humans are the most interesting thing to me in the world. Yeah. And so I always like looking and having a conversation with someone and being like, well, what was your relationship with your parents? Like, what was your relationship with your. And I can start to figure that em out in a way and help them connect certain things. And I think that for most people, it's just like people, I think that the only real thing we are to do here is, like, discover who we are. And I think that at some point along the way, if somebody goes into itunes or Spotify and types in A podcast for self development. It comes up and on some people's cup of tea. I'm also not like the first 650 episodes. I didn't cuss at all on the podcast because I had people saying, you know, I listened to this on the. The ride with my kids, and my kids love your podcasts. And I was like. I was like, I don't feel like I'm being authentic, though, because I cuss a lot. You know, I just love. I love, like, a really well placed cuss word, you know, just like, like, like the. The emphasis that it gives to something. So I started. I started cussing, and it was really weird. Like, that's actually kind of when it started taking off a lot was when I was like, I know who I truly am, and I'm going to lose people along the way. But, like, I want to be who I am. And I think people just connect with it. The difference with me is I don't act like I know anything. I don't act like I'm better than anybody else. Sometimes people see someone that's been on the journey for a long time and they're like, oh, I don't feel like I could ever get to where they are. I've never wanted someone to look at me and be like, wow, I can never get there. I want them to be like, well, that guy did it. I could do it too.

Wow, dude. There was a trip I took out to Austin. I think it was 2017. I remember we met. You lived in the high rise at that time or you had an office there or something.

Yeah, the Catherine.

And I'll never forget this. You looked at me and you were like. I was like, hey, how do I grow my show? And, you know, how do I reach these people from the heart, Be authentic. And you looked at me and you're like, well, are you eating your own dog food?

Really? I said that? Yeah.

Are you eating your own dog food?

Yeah.

And I. And I really took that to heart. You know, I reflect on that at times. Maybe not every day or anything. But that phrase, are you eating your own dog food? Is like, if I'm sharing something with my audience, I, in total embodiment of truth, have to have gone through it myself. Like, one of my mentors, Paul Check, his book is on the table there. He's like, you can only take a client as far in the shoes that you've walked. And it's true. Like, so I want to pull the E brake a little bit. Back in the day, Cutco Pet Smart like pizza delivery.

Yeah.

That was not exactly a breeding ground for somebody to be a podcast host and to reach people on a global scale. 300 million downloads, like, take us to that point. Because there had to have been things that happened for you along the way that probably didn't seem like they were growth potential. They probably seem like they were pitfalls. What was the story you told yourself? This is the theme of our whole talk today, man. Yeah, I've been feeling this more and more and more. Was there a couple turning points or was there a big turning point where you're like, cool, here's the new story. Here's how I'm actually going to be exactly what I want to be.

Yeah. I mean, so for people who don't know, my story is I grew up in Florida. My dad was an alcoholic. My parents got divorced when I was 9, 10 years old. I need to figure out the exact time they got divorced, because I'm always like 9 or 10. I don't know what it is, but it was in that area and they got divorced. And I always tell people, like, the. The best part about my dad was that he was the best type of alcoholic. He didn't. He didn't beat me. He didn't touch me inappropriately. He never said anything that made me feel worse about myself. He was the type of alcoholic that would get just drunk and fall asleep. But the problem with that was there was a lot of neglect that came from it. And so he would, you know, say he was gonna. There's. There's many times my mom has stories, and I think I might have. Maybe I don't remember. Maybe I blacked him out. I don't know what it is, but he would say, hey, I'm gonna come pick you up. We're gonna go fishing. And fishing was, like, the thing that I love the most. I lived on an island down there in Florida, and I was like, great, we're gonna go fishing. And so I'd sit out, four o', clock, whatever he said was gonna pick me up. I'd have my fishing pole. I'd sit out there till five, I'd sit out there till six, and they'd just never show up. And so what happened was there was just neglect that came from it. And so the story that kind of was in my head that I've uncovered over years, and it's still something that pops up in my head is I think I'm still. I always say we're trying to usually get one of our parents love. It's either our mother or father's. I think I was trying to get my father's, and I think I had this paradigm, this story running in my head of I need to prove my worth to my father to be able to get his love. Problem with that, though, is that the guy died 22 years ago at this point. And there's still times where I find myself working too hard. I'm like, what am I doing this for? Am I doing this because I actually want to, like, impact people? Yes. Is there a part of me that's like, you're doing this because you actually are still trying to get your father's love, even though he died 22 years ago? And so for me, what happened was, yeah, I went. I worked at petsmart. I was a bird and fish specialist when I was a kid. I did pizza delivery at my cousin's restaurant, and then Cutco popped up and Cutco. It's funny because everybody thinks Cutco's a scam because you have to work really hard to make any money at all. Like, they don't pay you anything. You only get paid when you make sales.

It's door to door, right?

Pretty close to it, yeah. You go to someone's house, you sell them knives, and you ask them for referrals to their friends, and you cold call their friends. And so you get, like, tenant recommendations. Hey, you know, hey, is this Stacy? Hey, Josh told me to give you a call, and you'd set up an appointment, go to their house, and try to sell them knives. So you would go in their house. You just didn't knock on their door physically. And so what happened, though, is a really hardcore and personal development. And it was the first time that I felt like I could try to fix myself off of everything that I had. I completely forgot about the story up until, like, two months ago. And I remember. So my dad died on November 1, 2020 or 2001. So 2001, November 1. And. And so it's. It's interesting. Like, you were talking about your. Your daughter's born on 5. 5. Like, my numbers, like angel numbers, are 1, 1, 1 1. Like 1111 or 1 11. See it all the time. My. My dad died on 1101 01. My wife and I's first date was on 111, uh, to the point where even this watch that I just got is. Is literally model number out of all of them, 11, 11. I just got. I had no idea that it was. It was. It just came to me this way. And so I see it all the time. And so he died on 11, November 1, 2001. My sister's 21st birthday was on November 24, 2001. So 23 days after he passed away. I was a really shy kid. I'm still an introvert. Like, I prefer to be alone than anything else. I'll put myself out there because I do like being around people, but I have to, like, retreat, you know, like after a few hours and we were driving the car and my mom said she was 23 days after he passed away. She's like, well, what do you think about your father's death? Like, what? What is it? That's. How do you guys feel? And. And I said, I think that if dad knew how much good is going to come from this, he would be okay with dying. And that was like, my mission from then on is how can I figure out a way to take the worst day of my life and make it the best day of my life at the same time? And so for me, it was this whole story of I'm not worthy of my father's love that drove me to be able to get the success that I want. But now it's about peeling all of that back and, and Cutco, they force you to grow, and if you don't, it's. They either push you up or they push you out. That's basically the way that it is. So then I started discovering that I was good at some things. And one of the things I was good at was teaching people. For some reason, I could take complex things and I can teach it to people. And it was always exactly what we were talking about, which is, I'm going to use this in my life, then I'm going to teach you at the team meeting. I'm going to use it in my life. I'm going to teach. I'm going to use myself as the guinea pig.

This podcast is brought to you by Mana Vitality, creators of the revolutionary Shilajit and Ormus blend named Mana. You know, we did a deep dive of the science and the story, the background, the meaning, the efficacy of this product in episode 541. That's joshtrend.com541 and I'm happy to share that it's six months later and I have still permanently and sustainably let go of my caffeine, my coffee addiction. I honestly never thought it would happen, but it did. And it's because of the electricity and the bioavailable nutrients that are found inside this game changing product. I mean, it's Been a long time since I came across something this potent, this powerful, that can actually support all of the missing links from our depleted soil, our depleted food, and our polluted air. Science has known for years that everyone requires at least 90 nutrients for the body to function properly. 17 vitamins, 59 minerals, 12amino acids, and 3 fatty acids. These micronutrients, unfortunately, are no longer in most of our food, even organic, because they're no longer in our soil anymore. Manna has squeezed all of these nutrients into every single sachet for less than a few bucks a day. Manna is a supercell conductor that modulates your food and nutrients into medicine. If you've been feeling exhausted or brain fog or just in need of more vitality, more light, I've got the game changer for you. It's mana. The owners gave us a special exclusive discount. 20% off. All you have to do is go to JoshTrend.com mana that's M A N N A, enter the code Josh20 to save 20% off. That's JoshTrend.com mana and enter the code Josh20 to save twenty percent off.

And so for me, I started helping other people. There was a couple reps that I had that came from really bad parts of town. And Richard, this one guy that I talk about all the time, his father passed away the year before he met me. He was 19. I was 23 years old, and I was running an office in Fort Lauderdale. And his father had passed away the year before, came from the worst part of Fort Lauderdale. And he's like, hey, man, like, I just want to tell you, the only person that's been a father figure since my father passed away, and I don't have anybody to look up to. And so I had that conversation. I was like, oh, shit, I'm doing something in someone's life. So then when I left Cutcombe and I just sold stuff, I went into other sales companies. There was no fulfillment to it at all. And then one day, I was like. I was. I was at lunch at Jason's Deli with my girlfriend at the time, my wife now. And I was like, I think I'm gonna start a podcast. And she's like, all right, what is that? Because nobody knew what podcasts were back then, right? And I was like, I'm start a podcast. I was like, I feel obligated to teach what's helped me. And so that's why I do what I do. But to answer the actual question itself, I think the thing that my story that was over Me is I have to make myself worthy of my father's love, which is just a reflection of what's going on inside of me, which is I don't feel that I'm worthy of my own love. And so for me, it's like, how do I love myself more to feel like I can. I don't have to do anything to receive any love from. There's nothing that I have to do, achieve, or be. To be. Be to make myself necessary to be lovable.

It's so powerful, man. There's a lot of similarities between you and I. Yeah. And also probably all the buildings that were built in every major city were probably built by somebody with a father wound, for sure. Because initially, what drives us, and this is what I love about your work. Like, it's not about motivation. I love that you got rid of the motivation. Because motivation is this temporary, fleeting thing, for sure. Like, I can be motivated. Look at the first of the year in January. Everybody's like, I'm so motivated, I'm going to drop all this weight. And then Jan15 comes around. They're like, well, the donut looks pretty good. Inspiration's way different, for sure. Like, even with. With breath work, like, like inspiritus to inspire life, to inspire breath from me. Inspiration is a long term sustainable fuel source. Motivation is not. Let's jam on that. Because in my life, I actually don't use the term motivation at all. I do things that inspire me, things that light me up, and if it doesn't, I just hire somebody to do it for me.

Yeah.

Now I'm in a place where I, like you, have built myself up over time. But for maybe people that are, like, just starting the journey, can you bend the reed in their mind about inspiration versus motivation?

Yeah.

Because motivation, it's like a flash in the pan.

Yeah.

That's how it's been for me.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you actually say almost the exact same way I do. I say motivation is like a spark on a fire, but, like drive. And inspiration is like the big old wood that's dried out, that burns all night long. And the difference is, is for me, you can see someone motivated to, like, try to change your life, but when you see someone that's inspired or driven, like, it's in their eyes. And you can get that sense of like, this motherfucker's not stopping like you. They will. They will either do it or they will die trying. Yeah. And that's kind of. That's kind of the feeling that I have about what I do Is like, I will do it or I will die trying. That's just the way that it's going to be. And I'm okay dying in the process of trying to do it, because what else. What else am I doing here? Like, what is it? What, am I just going to go and just work some job that I hate for the rest of my life in order to just pay the bills and die? No, that's not what I want to do. And so for me, the thing I always tell people is hard as far as how to find what inspires them. Because, like, you said that in inspiration means in spirit. Like, the spirit is basically inside of you. Yeah, Is. Is. I always say follow the energy. Like, follow what gives you energy. And so for a lot of people, they follow what. What they're told to do, what their parents told them do, what society feels like they should do, all of that. But for me, like, I think that if something gives you energy, that's the thing you should follow, because you don't. It was actually, I think it might have been Paul Check said this, and probably three years ago I heard him say it, and it was a quote from someone else. And I have to this day been able to find him saying it or the quote itself.

Somebody type it in.

It was something along the lines of, when you do something that is out of alignment with the universe, you have to provide your energy to do so. But when you do something that is in alignment with the universe, the universe will give you energy. And the way that I've always taken it is like, we have so many things that we have to be for different people. So if I have to be like, I am the same person right now as I will be on the phone call with my mom, every single person I meet, I'm the exact same person all the time. And that's what I try to be. Because some people are like, well, I have to be this way in front of my mom. I have to be this way in front of a camera. I have to be this way for each different person. It's like pulling up a new tab on your computer, and you have hundreds of tabs that are open. Your computer's gonna start to slow down. But when you find the thing that gives you energy, it's not coming from you. It's coming from the universe. It's coming from God. It's like, this is the thing that you're supposed to do. Follow whatever that energy is. And so for me and you, starting a podcast eight years ago was like, it didn't make a whole lot of monetary sense. Me to leave my job that was paying me, like, over $200,000 a year at 27 years old to do podcasting eight years ago. Makes no fucking sense logically, but it felt right, and it felt like the thing that gave me energy, and I was like, I'm just gonna follow this thing now in eight months. Did it. Was it something that was big? And it was, you know, I was making more money than before? No, but you fast forward eight years of following the process. I'm like, holy shit. Like we were talking about for the podcast started, I'm like, I cannot believe what it is. And then it continues to keep growing. It's becoming this huge thing. But I think it's because I actually follow the thing that gives me energy, which is the universe's way of speaking to you through energy. Because everything is energy. Of like, I'm going to give this to you. It's like, it's whispering in your ear of like, hey, man, this is. This is what you're supposed to do.

Yeah.

And I think people should. Should stop. We're so cerebral. We're so in our heads all the time. We're not enough in our bodies. That's the thing that I've been working on for five, six years now is like, can I be in more in my body? Can I feel into this and be like, what is the right decision in this moment? And I think if people pay attention to energy more, they can find out the things that inspire them, and then they can actually start to follow it a little bit more.

What comes up for you when you hear this phrase, we're half beast, half spirit? What do you think about that?

I mean, I think we are. There's definitely animalistic sides of us, right? And there's like, there's an animalistic side of me. And I think the only thing that really separates us from animals, I think animals are. Are connected to spirit, and they're way more connected to spirit because we're in our heads too much.

Yes.

Yes. But I think that for us, we are half beasts. There's definitely some times in me, like, even yesterday alone, like, my schedule for the next six weeks is insane. And everything is happening at one moment. It's like the book is just part of what's happening right now. But there's, like, thing after thing, like, big, huge life things that are happening. And I remember yesterday I got home and shopping. Lord, I was like, I'm just, like, exhausted. Like, I've got so Much going on. But I noticed myself getting to, like, my little bit animalistic side of me of, like, protection. Right. And then I was like, but this is the thing I'm meant to do. Like, this is the thing I'm supposed to be doing. And if I get myself out of my story of, like, oh, I'm busy. Oh, I've got things going on. I'm about to get onto a flight tomorrow. I've got to. I've got to do this podcast. I. So I've got to record. Got all these things I've got to do. I started thinking, like, in protection mode. And that's what I think animals do is, like, protect, and they get very fearful. But for me, if I can get more into what was the other side of animal and what's the other one?

Half beast, half spirit.

Half spirit. Yeah. So the other half of spirit is like, me connecting and being like, well, what is this thing I'm supposed to be? What is the end result I'm trying to do? Like, I can look at it. I did this when I was writing the book because writing a book is. Is way more of a task than I thought it was going to be. Like, I was very ignorant to how big of a task it was in.

I'm just starting the journey now.

It's crazy.

With a book coach, I'm like, I'm going to give myself two years.

Oh, for sure. Maybe more. Mine. Mine took three total from. I signed the contract, or I started getting into the contract negotiations in August of 2020. And so what happened was I wrote an entire book and I was on a flight to Sedona. We had a team trip. We had like 15 of our team members are out there. I'm reading the book and Lauren is. My wife is like, you seem like you're stressed out. And I was like, I hate this book. Like, I don't like it. I don't. The flow of it doesn't work. I don't feel like this is the thing I'm supposed to be putting out. I was like, I feel like I need to rewrite the entire thing. And I was like, actually, I think I'm just going to write a brand new book. I'm just going to act like this one doesn't even exist. So we went to Zona. We had our team trip, and I was like, I'm going to stay for an extra week. So I stayed for an extra week and I started putting it down. I was like, okay, if I look at everything that I do, if I Look at every single podcast episode. What am I doing? Like, what is behind this whole thing? And the whole thing is like, we as humans are put on this earth, and we're given the most complex piece of machinery, but we have no manual of how to use it. So we have this brain that's so complex that could be here in this moment, the B side of it, or it could be connected to God. Every single moment, we can bounce between the two of them. And I was like, what do I do? And this is kind of the conversation we had before we started. I was like, I kind of teach people their operating system so that they can take action to create the life that they want. That's really what it is that I do. And I feel like, for me, I'm kind of like the gateway drug to getting into deeper personal development for some people, getting into spiritual development for some people, getting deeper into it. I'm kind of like the gateway drug. I go to the masses. And I was like, okay, so if I look at the majority of my podcast episodes, what I teach is basically how to take action towards whatever life that is that they want to create. That's the majority of what I do. And I was like, okay, so what if I just think I'm gonna write a book called Take Action? That was the original, like, working title. But then I realized it's not really sexy. You know, it's not like when they say in sales, you're not supposed to sell if you're, you know, if you're a travel agent, you don't sell the plane flight to Hawaii. You sell the vacation. So it's like Taking Action is a plane flight. But what do they actually want? They want to sit on a beach and drink a margarita with their wife. And so I started thinking about it. I was like, okay, if I look at the book and I call it Take Action, why don't people take action? And so I was like, okay, well, first off, before I teach anybody anything on how to take action, why don't people take action in the first place? And so there's three parts of the book. The first one is why you don't take action. The second part is how to take action. And third part is actually, like, neurologically how to change your brain through habits. Not like, hey, let me just teach you habits. Let me actually teach you how your brain changes specifically as you go through this. And I hired a friend of mine who's an incredible neurologist to go through the entire book and make sure everything that I said is correct. And if it was wrong, fix it for me and tell me how I can make it better. And so the. The whole book itself is literally just how to take action. Because I think the thing that. That since my father passed away when I was 15, and I was sitting there, he was. I'd never. Nobody in my life had died before my dad. And I remember sitting there, and the day before you have the funeral, they do, like, a viewing for the family. And we were in this room that was. I mean, maybe like a quarter of this size, right? It was literally like the casket. And then it was literally just a couch. It was right there. And that was. That was the entire room. That's how much fit. And I was sitting there, and I was looking at him, and I was like, man, this guy had. My dad was a dreamer, but he never took any action towards the life he wanted. He always wanted to sail and, you know, be successful and have, you know, do everything that you're supposed to do. And I was like, this guy's time is done. And I had fears in me. I still have fears in me. But my number one driving fears get to end in my life and not feel like I did everything that I could not have the experiences, not help the people I could not have, not give the love that I could. And so for me, I looked, and I was like, I'm gonna write a book on taking action. That's what it's gonna be, why people don't take action. There's fears behind it. There's their identity of who they think that they are. The story that you're talking about, like, that's literally a huge section of the book, is that someone's identity of themselves and what holds them back from doing it. Then. Now that we've gotten past that, how do you take action? How do you set up your life? And from the food that you eat to the environment you create, to even the light that you have throughout the day when you take caffeine, all of that stuff. And then how do you actually change your brain so once you start doing it, you actually get to be who you are. Because for me, I was a very pessimistic person for a very long time. It's hard for me to be pessimistic at this point. So there was some rewiring that I did in my younger years as I was starting to go through personal development. And so that's literally the entire book is just how to go from start to finish. I'm procrastinating. I'm not doing what I want to do. I want to sit down, I want to get focused. I want to level up my life. And that was just from start to finish how the entire book came. But it went through three years and 16 rounds of edits to be able to create one of those.

I've always felt that whenever I move towards something that my heart feels wants, not something that my ego wants or not something that the wounding from a father or society or past life is driving me to do when. When the inspiration is pure and I'm actually creating from that source of inspiration, it's not like it's going to be this candy canes and puppy dogs path like your still comes up. I'm curious for you, man. Like 16 rounds of edits. Did any worthiness stuff come up? Did any self talk come up where you were like, ah, it. I'm not going to do it.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's actually, it's actually a great question because I remember a couple different times. So there was the actual being in Sedona, I told myself, because I was like, man, this is a lot. I'm gonna write an entire extra book. So I'm writing two books instead of one. So I'm writing this entire extra book. And I was in Sedona. I was walking to the Airbnb. It was just probably like the second day, whatever it was. And I was like, this is gonna be effortless. Like this is going to flow out of me. And I started saying that to myself, like, this is gonna be effortless. It's gonna flow out of me. This is, this book is going to change people's lives. I. Would it be great to be like a New York Times bestseller? Sure. But if I change people's life, I don't fucking care about the New York Times bestseller. If I'm being honest, if it sells a million copies, it sells 10,000. It is what it is. But that was what happened and that was the story that I had. Then what happened was it took a lot longer to write the book than I thought. It wasn't that weak that I thought it was going to be. And so we're going. I'm going through edits and edits and edits. And I actually noticed that my ego's starting to come in. And I took a step back and I was thinking about it. I was at the studio in the office and I was writing it and I was like, this is really interesting because if I think about this, like, do I want to be a New York Times bestseller? I do. Do. I want this book to be so successful that I never have to work again, but I can only work because I just decided and choose to. Yeah, that would be awesome. And I thought about it, and I was like, so hold on. What's crazy about this, though, is I can use my ego to create a better book to change people's lives. And so a lot of times, we want to get rid of our ego. We want to get rid of the judgmental sides of us. We want to get rid of the sides of us that are selfish, all of that, but it's not about getting rid of it. It's about integrating it and using it as a tool whenever we need to. And so I always give the example of, like, if you have something that you need to nail into a wall, the perfect tool for that is a hammer. And so you get the hammer out. But if you're trying to screw something in, you probably want a screwdriver instead. And so I think that our ego, the selfishness, the judgmental side, whatever it is, are just tools that we could use at different points in time. It's not about getting rid of all these aspects of us. It's literally, like they say, an internal family systems, which is, how do I integrate the entire aspect of me? And go, okay, yeah, I'm on round 14 of edits, and I'm literally looking at every sentence and saying, could I say this better? And I'm like, could I say it's better? And I'm going, my ego's popping up. And saying, well, you know, it could be a little bit better because it might connect with more people this way, and you'd sell more books. And I'm starting. That's starting to pop up into my head. I'm like, okay, I could view that as a bad thing, and I could start to talk trash about myself. Oh, my God, here's your ego again. You've got to get rid of this thing, Rob. You've been working on this ego for so long, man. When are you gonna get rid of this thing? Or.

Which is also another form of your ego, which is.

Which is just another. Another thing that's popping up. That's something I have to work through, right? And so. And we were talking about. Right before the podcast, sorry, Krishnamurti talks about that, which is like, there's the problem that's in front of you, which is, you know, I have to, like. The example I give is, like, some people have very. They don't have a great relationship with their parents, their Parents are a certain way, like that can be your problem, but then you create another problem, which is my parents should be different instead of just actually accepting them how they are and all the problems go away. And so for me it's like, okay, I felt my ego pop on, but can I use this ego of wanting to have the best book possible so that I can be successful, so I can not have to worry about ever working again to create the best book to then change as many lives as possible? And I was like, shit, I can. And so I think for me it was just like is being able to notice the story and instead of trying to get rid of it or overcome it, actually just go, let me use this right now. Because this thing can drive me from the inside to go, I'm going to create the best damn book possible and it's going to change people's lives. I'm going to use my ego to be able to do that not just from a self serving place, but like it will be self serving, but also at the same time, it will also be serving the world as well.

It's an epic reframe because I think for most people the dragon that gets to be slayed is the procrastination dragon. And really in my experience, I remember I had someone on the podcast, Wendy Myers, and she was like, my daughter won't speak a new language because she doesn't want to mess up. And we went on this huge teaching point of like, perfectionism is actually just fear wearing a jacket. It's literally a way that people stay small by saying, well, if I can't be perfect in the public limelight, and I've gone through this for sure, maybe it still pops up from time to time time, like, are people gonna like me? It's like, are we gonna be loved by our father, by our mother and by society? Are we gonna be accepted by the tribe? So I know like where this comes from in a neurological way. Like we are literally wired to be accepted by tribe because back in the day, if we weren't, we could potentially die so that that neurology is still inside of us. But what's so fascinating is we're so blessed, Rob. Look at what we can do in this lifetime if we just accept the story of being able to, to do it. But in order for us to do so, we have got to slay the procrastination dragon. Yeah, like this is the big one. You talk about this in the book too. I think you worded it in a very specific way about Perfectionism is a mask you wear to hide your fear. I mean, same thing, different words. Like, go into that a little bit, because everybody is dealing at some form with procrastination.

Yeah. So here's the thing about procrastination is it's really interesting because I had a conversation with one of my. One of my sales reps, and he was like, yeah, this. This person, they wanted to join our program, all this stuff. But, you know, her biggest thing is she's a procrastinator. And I was like, okay, what's the problem? And he goes, the problem is that she's a procrastinator. I was like, no, what's the problem? Yeah. And he's like, I don't. I don't. I don't know what you mean. Procrastination is a problem. I said, no, no. Procrastination is the symptom, but it's not the cause. It's like the downstream effect is. Is what it is. And I said, so what is behind her procrastination? He's like, I don't know. And I was like, it's some sort of fear, is what it is. And like you said, perfectionism is one of those fears that's there. Yeah. And so I think I say it in the book as well, where it's like the. The example I always give of procrastination and perfectionism is, say you have a friend. You go over to their house, and you've never been to his house before. You've known him for, like, five years. You go over to his house, and you walk into the garage, and he's got these paintings, and they're just incredible paintings. And you're like, oh, my God, man. Like, this is. These are so good. I didn't know you painted. He's like, yeah, you know, like, it's a hobby of mine. And I'm like, man, have you ever thought about selling these? And he's like, no. Well, they're not perfect yet. Which is how we always say, oh, they're not perfect. I'm a perfectionist. Not perfect yet. They could still use a little bit of changing and all that. And what's really happening is it's not that they're not perfect. It's that he's afraid of something. He's afraid of starting a new Instagram and his mom being like, wait, you're a painter now? You went to school to be an electrical engineer? Engineer. Or you're a doctor? Like, why would you go, why? Why do you want to be A painter. So he's afraid of his mom's judgment, or he's afraid of going, you know what, I am going to start like a pop up show and I'm just going to rent a place for a couple hundred bucks. I'll put all my stuff in and I'll invite people. And he's walking through and he overhears a conversation. Someone's like, oh, that thing's a thousand dollars. I wouldn't pay 100 bucks for that piece of shit. And so what he's afraid of is most likely not perfectionism, other people's judgment. But the thing about it is, I think that we were put here to create in some sort of way. And most people have. I think that that society does it to us. I think it, more than anything else, think school does it to children. Is it kind of we're born creative, all of us have some sort of creativity that we love. And so for me, like, the reason why I moved to Austin, the reason why I had a microphone was because I moved to Austin because I want to be a musician. Then that was my creative outlet when I first moved here in 2020. And then I started podcasting and I was like, oh, and creating content, putting on social media. I was like, oh, I don't. I don't really feel like I need to make music anymore because I feel like this is like scratching that itch, right? Like it's, it's itching. I don't know which one's right. Scratching, itch or itching, scratch, whatever it is.

Both.

Yeah. So it's. And I was like, I don't really feel like I need to play music anymore. Like, I still love music, but I don't feel like I need to create it anymore because it's just my creative outlet. I think there's so many people in this world that are just creatively constipated where they have all of this creativity that's inside of them. And we were put here to create. We're made in the eyes, like, in the eyes of the Creator. We're literally a piece of God. And God creates, and we're supposed to create as well. And so many people just stop it because they're afraid of what other people think of them. And so for me, it's like, will we get judged? Yeah. The amount of the only bad reviews I have on my podcast is, I wish this guy would stop cussing. That's like the ones that I have the most, more than anything else. And it's like, could I not Cuss in order to have, you know, appease more people. Sure, I definitely could. Would I be authentic to my true self? No, I would not. And like I told you, as soon as I started cussing and being my true authentic self, not doing it overly cussing, just to act like I'm somebody else or to sound a certain way. But when I was more authentic, it grew. And the reason why is because I think it connected with people in some way. And so if you put your art out there, whatever that art is, people will hate it. You're not going to be every single person's cup. There's 8 billion people. You think every single person is going to like you? There's no way. And so I think that it goes back to like procrastination. If you feel like you procrastinate on something, ask yourself, what is the fear that's behind it? And if it is perfectionism, what do I need to do to stop caring about other people's opinions? Like, it's crazy.

It's so good. And I forget who I was interviewing, but it was somebody very intelligent in the neurological world. Oh, Dr. Judd Brewer.

Yeah. He talked about.

He's amazing because he talks about much like BJ Fogg and tiny habits and how to actually move somebody through the change process so they're not like hyper focused on the external locus. There's a strong internal locus. And what I loved what he said was, you know, when people go and they brush up against change, it's really not the thing that scares them. It's who they'll have to become when they brush up against that change. It's freaking wild. He also talked about our unconscious mind, which is our bodies. It feels something almost a full second before our conscious mind takes it in. So a lot of what's going on in life, and I'd love to jam with you on this, the relationship of the conscious unconscious. I'm actually in a deep NLP training right now. I'm about to go to Montana soon and do my, my third leg of it. So the, the language we, we tell ourselves is really just a byproduct of that critical factor between our conscious and unconscious. And. But your body, my body, all the things, you know, Zach Bush calls it the redox system. Our internal process is actually what is moving and directing us 80, 90 plus percent of the time. That is massive. People think that it's just a mindset. I'd love to know from the mindset mentor, is it really about just mindset? And how do you plug in the mindset to the unconscious framework, that's really running the boat.

Yeah. Well, in cognitive behavioral therapy, the thing that they always say is that you'll feel something before you think it. Same way that you. You just said it right there.

Yes.

So, which is a lot of times what happens is, is our body is programmed based off of everything that's happened to us in the past. And so, like, if you see an aggressive dog, that dog was not born aggressive. It wasn't. It was. You know, dogs are just like babies. They're. They're broad and perfect. We fuck them up, right?

Yeah, we.

Is what happens. And so when you look at an aggressive dog, it wasn't born aggressive. What it did is that defense. That became a defense mechanism. That aggressiveness is their defense mechanism against something that looks like the thing that caused them harm in the past. And so there's two sides of it, because I think there's your gut feeling, which I think everybody should follow, which is like the deep internal. I would say your gut is your emotional compass. You should try to connect to that thing and be like, when I have a big life decision, I'll meditate for a good few minutes, and then I'll just say, what's the right path? And I'll feel into it. Usually the first answer that comes through is the right answer. And then my brain tries to talk me out of it. Right. But on the other side of it, there's also, like, the deep programming inside of us that is like the dog that's saying, okay, this thing that's on two feet, has two arms, looks the same as the one who caused me harm in the past. I need to run from it. There is that as well. That pops up inside of us. And so in cognitive behavioral therapy, they say that normally what happens is you feel something first, and then your brain tries to catch up. And so the best question to ask yourself, if you feel like, a massive amount of feelings, you usually feel fear before you notice the thought. And what they say is, there's a thought, there's an unconscious thought that comes first, and then the body responds to it, and then the conscious mind notices it. And so it's like subconscious thought, body gets on board, Conscious mind follows a little bit behind. He talks about it. I don't remember the author's name, but in thinking fast and slow, he talks about, there's two different parts of your brain. There's one that will automatically react, and then there's one that's the conscious that, you know, starts to take Some time to catch up to it. And so for me, the thing that I always do is I always go back to the. The. The question, which is what they say in cognitive behavioral therapy, which is, what was I just thinking? And so we have these things, people call them automatic negative thoughts. In cognitive behavioral therapy, they call it automatic thoughts, where it's just based off our programming. Boom. It comes in. A feeling immediately happens inside of us, and then we're like. Our conscious mind is trying to catch up. Like, what? What? I'm so anxious right now. Why am I so anxious? I had this. I had this happen to me probably about nine. Nine months ago. I was interviewed on a podcast. It was. It was a watch podcast. So I love. I love. I don't know why. I just love watches. And so this guy reached out to him. He's got this huge following of watches. I was like, hey, man, I just saw that you follow me. Like, what's up? How's everything going? We started connecting. He's like, I'd love to have you on the podcast. I love that.

There's a watch podcast, dude.

They do like $150 million in sales a year. That's crazy company called Luxury Bazaar.

There's a podcast for everything there.

There is. And so. So we started talking about it, and we go into the podcast. I go into it and I start talking about how therapy wasn't something that I could afford as a child. Just wasn't. And so I saw self development as my therapy. He took it as people. I just said, people shouldn't go to therapy. I don't believe that at all. I think everybody should go to a therapist at some point in time. And he comments inside of the YouTube. So it's like the next day after it launches, I'm like, let's see. See what people are saying, right? Which is the worst idea. When you do anything in the public eye, don't look at what other people think about. You just create whatever it is you want to create. And he's like, this guy is crazy. He's saying that you should not go to therapy. You should only read books on personal development. Da, da da da. Puts a comment, puts another comment, puts another comment. On the third one, he said, I'm gonna create a reaction video about this guy. And I was like, okay, cool. I've been judged in the public eye many times for putting stuff out there. It's just one of the things that's going to happen. You know, the. The. It's like the, the.

I feel like it's a badge of honor.

It kind of is, but there's also the. There's also just the tribal thing that you're talking about. Sure. And it's kind of like the. The Native American phrase where it's like the brightest light gets the arrows, where it's like, if you. If you're going to put yourself out there, you're going to get arrows. That's just the way that it goes.

No doubt.

And so I was like, okay, cool. I'm in the middle of. I look real quick, and I go to making eggs. And I'm sitting there making eggs in the morning, and I feel this rush of anxiety, and I'm like, dude, I was having such a great day. Like, what. What the hell is going on? It's like 15 minutes later. I feel all anxious, and I'm like, I was having a great day. I feel anxious right now. And I went, what was I just thinking? And I took a step back, like, out of my life, and I was like, what was I just thinking? Okay, well, let's think about, you know, making eggs. Okay. I was on the YouTube video. Oh, that guy. I'm afraid that that guy's gonna talk shit about me and make me look bad in front of other people. And it pisses me off because I'm just trying to do good in the world. And it pisses me off that someone could talk shit about me when I'm trying to do good. And I went, oh, what's happening is this is some internal wound that I probably have from childhood from when I was bullied from not feeling accepted by my father, where it's just, oh, this is another male that's not accepting me. It could just be a wound that's from there. And I took a step back and I was like, it's okay, man. Like, you're safe. This guy's not going to change the trajectory of your life. What you're doing is what you feel like you're supposed to be doing. The way that you said it was exactly how it was supposed to happen, because it's the way that you said it. And you've got to trust exactly what happens. Because I do trust that whatever happens exactly what's supposed to happen, I have many examples over the course of my life that everything worked. Worked perfectly. And it was like, you're safe. You're going to be okay. And to be honest with you, this guy's probably not going to make any video. And so, like, two weeks that I went and checked up on this guy's, Instagram or on his YouTube. No videos made. Right. But it was like, it was like this thing of like, I'm not being accepted, but I'm trying so fucking hard. Yeah. And it's just like, I don't. It's not good to not feel accepted, but I'm also not going to change the trajectory of what I feel like I'm supposed to do in my life simply based off of other people's opinions and perceptions of me.

Dude. We were driving in Tennessee. We just got back from a family vacation, and we drove by this huge graveyard. And I remembered a quote that a buddy of mine, Ted Rice, had said like seven years ago, and he said the graveyard is the richest place in the world. It's where literally hundreds of trillions of dollars of dreams, of products, of things, they just never got fulfilled because of people's fear. Like, literally they were afraid of. And this is. This is like pre YouTube. I mean, now it's like par for the course. I think if you're a creator, to get chastised for sure. Maybe even to have react videos created about you. Yeah, that's just something that I think to be a content creator is something that one gets to work through. But I was feeling into that and I even told Carrie the quote, we're driving by because she's about to launch her first program and she's going through all those things and the crunchiness, like I'm sure we all have, and it brought this light to me and I'm like, what are the ways in my life that if I died today or if I died tomorrow, that I would feel unfulfilled, that I feel like I didn't cash in, that I didn't give people the most of my heart, the most of my love, the most of my service, of my wisdom. This is. Is why we rebranded the show. You know, I rebranded in 2022. No more forcing, right? The show is wellness and wisdom. Because in order to have true wisdom, you have to meet the parts of yourself that are trying to keep you dumb. And that's the part that really gets me is like, it makes me even feel like the cry emotion right now just talking to you about it. Because if I died today or if I died tomorrow, I would be fulfilled somewhat. But all the dreams and all the things that I want to bring to the world, they're not here yet. Like, I want to live as long as I possibly can. If somebody right now is feeling that, what is the starting step? So if someone is realizing that we Die. Because I don't know if you all know this, but we all die.

It's happening.

It's an inevitability. So if somebody's feeling that, Rob, and they are inspired in their life and they want to. And maybe you talk about this in the book, and they want to begin the 1, 2, 3 steps, how do they not let overwhelm the monster of overwhelm, which is like maybe procrastination's brother. Overwhelm is what keeps people stuck as well. Well, how do I do it? When do I do it? What do I do? The order of operations. I fell into that in the first three years of being an entrepreneur. The fact is, you just do it. You move forward in a certain way. I have my feelings and thoughts on that. How to move forward when one is feeling inspired, when they're recognizing that life is finite. But how would you describe that? Like, what articulation would you put in place for someone that's like, all right, I want to do the thing.

Yeah.

You know, I want to fulfill my thing. Thing. How do they begin that process?

Yeah. So there it goes back to. I put up a quote years ago on Facebook, before I started any of this, like, probably 12 years ago. And people were really concerned after I put it up. And it was a Dave Matthews quote. And it was, every day should be a good day to die. And I put it up, not thinking anything of it, because that's a Dave Matthews quote. I'm like, it's awesome. Because if I live my life where every day should be a good day, today I'm living a great life. I got so many phone calls like, are you okay? Is everything all right? Like, people thought I was going to kill myself from that quote. I was like, no, it's insane. Dave Matthews quote. I'm trying to.

As a society, we have a fear of death. That's why.

Right. And they're like, but are you all right? I'm like, yeah, everything's fine. It's. It's good. And so I think that. So there. There's the three parts that are inside of. There's three parts inside of the book. The first part, like I said, is why we don't take action. And you're asking the question. So literally, the last part of. Of part one. Part one. I talk about fears, I talk about identity, and I talk about somebody's why. And so you were talking about Hal Elrod. Hal Elrod and his best friend John Bergoff were my first coaches. And John used to always say, when your why is strong enough? Your how will reveal itself? And so I think that most people aren't motivated because they don't know what they're trying to. That they want. Like, they don't know what it is that they want inside of their life.

Yeah.

And so for me, I was on a plane flight. It was about three years ago, and it was pretty wild. So I was on a plane flight, and I had to connect. I hate connecting. And now I hate even more after this, I had to connect to go home to Florida. From Austin, the only flight that was open, I had to connect, and Atlanta, and then I had to go to tampa. And about 30 seconds into the flight, there's just boom. Like this bang. Loud bang. And I'm like, I've never heard that on a plane. That doesn't sound good. And I know that the most dangerous time in a plane is during when it's taking off and when it's landing. And it changed everything. Like, the whole feeling changed. And I was sitting there, and the captain gets on the phone, calls up whoever's in the front, one of the people that's in the front, and. And she goes, okay, okay. Yeah. And I'm in the very front row. I'm the only person that's in the front row. There was only a few people on this plane flight. I'm in the very front row, and I see her face, and I was like, this isn't good. There's something that's wrong. And so she goes and she says something over whatever this code is. She says it over the loudspeaker. And the guy that's on the other, in the very front row, but on the other side, stands up, takes over the entire plane. So he's the. What are they called? The people who are like the air. Air marshals. He's an air marshal. Literally, out of his shirt, takes out his badge. He's got a gun on him as well. So he's like. Literally, when people say air marshals are there, I didn't realize that it was actually a real thing. They're on some flights, takes over the whole thing. Hey, everybody, this is what we have to do. You have to do this. You have to do this. We're going to. We're going to go back, we have to turn around and this. Do a landing. I'll tell you what happened. But. But I ended up talking to people after we did land. Thank God we. We landed safely. I got pictures that somebody had sent me. The actual engine on the left side caught on fire. And so there are flames coming out the back of it. They had to land it. They had to, you know, kill that. That engine. They have to land on one engine. And. But he took over the entire thing. He's like, this is a code red, which is, like, the highest it could be. I'm in the very front. I'm like, should I go back a couple rows? Like, because I'm supposed to put my head in between my legs. He's like, yeah, you should go back a couple rows. And I go back a couple rows. There's a guy that's next to me, and he's, like, terrified, like, bawling terrified. He's to the right of me, and I look at him and I go, we're going to make it. It's going to be okay. And he goes. And, like, took a breath, and then the thought came into my mind. I could die. Like, this could be it. And this sense of like, you did everything you could and you did the best that you possibly could, and if you die, you had a great life and you did everything that you wanted to up until this point. So there's always like, do I want to do more? Yes. But my goal is like, how can I live my life that if I do die today? Because I could leave here right now and get hit by a truck and be gone. That no matter what I did, I did everything that I possibly could to make the best life that I possibly could. Could. And so for me, the reason why is because I'm driven by this why. Like, the. The why is what drives me. And so for. For most people who are like, oh, I want to go do something, the first question is like, why do you want to do it in the first place? Because if you're just trying to make money, which I have tried to. I've just. I've just struggled my way to success many times in life. But when you feel pulled by this thing that you're talking about, this inspiration, this why that's behind it, the how to do it becomes very easy. And so, like, a simple example I always give. This is how most people live their life. And this is in the book is my mom used to ask me, like, what do you want for Christmas? Imagine your mom asked you what you want for Christmas, and you're like, oh, it's like, it's in six months. It doesn't. I don't know, just whatever. It doesn't really matter. She asked you again at three months later. She's like, what do you want for Christmas? I don't know, I'll get back to you, I'll figure it out. You never tell her. Christmas comes, she gives you a gift and you're like, what the fuck? This isn't what I wanted. And your mom's like, I asked you what you wanted and you never told me. And so it's kind of the exact same thing with our life where most people don't actually take a step back and be like, what do I want? But why do I want this thing? Do I just want it to make money? Because if you want it just to make money, fine, cool. You could do that if you want. But if you want it because you want to serve others, which is a much, it is much easier to drive yourself to get stuff done and to take action if you're trying to do it for other people. That's what I have found. When it's self serving, it'll last for a little while, but eventually the spark will die. And so for me it's like, how can you figure out what it is that you want and then why you actually want that thing? I had a coaching client when I first started coaching like seven years ago. His name was David, David lived in New York. And he was like, I want to make $100,000 this year. And I was like, cool, why do you want to make $100,000? Well, I want to make $100,000 because I've never done it before. I've always been broke and I want, I want to make $100,000. I was like, cool, why? And we went, I called the seven levels of why. Why? He gave me an answer. Why? Give me an answer. Why? Why? Why? Why? What ended up happening was he ended up saying he lived in a, he lived in New York, never owned a house, he had just gotten a divorce, he had two children and his wife had custody of his children because he didn't make enough money to have custody of his children. And he, she lived in a really bad part of town. And his biggest fear in life was that his son would be killed in a drive by. And this is in the book, but I had to actually edit this part out because they were like, ah, this is a little bit aggressive. But this is actually his true story was he was afraid that his son would be killed in a drive by and he was afraid his daughter would get pregnant before she was 13 years old and then it would change the course of their life. His why became I want to make $100,000 a year this year so that I can Go and I can put a down payment on a house. I can have enough money and prove to the court that I can take custody of my children. I can have them in a better part of town. If they're in a better part of town, they're going to get a better education. I'll be able to afford their education, and then they'll have a completely different life because I decided to make $100,000 that year. And so what happened is like a very surface level. I want to make $100,000 had a really deep why behind it. And so every time I talk to him, every single day, every single week, when we spoke, it was like, hey, how close are you to moving your children out of the bad part of town? I didn't say how close you make $100,000. It was the only thing that I drove him through was how close are you to saving your children's lives? And that was his strong why. That was behind it. And so I think that before anybody takes any action to anything, I don't really give a shit about the stuff that you need to do. What I really care about is why you want to do it. Because if you can figure out the why behind it, if the why is strong enough, the how's eventually going to reveal itself. You'll figure out a way to get it done.

It's a true paradox, because I love that man. Thank you for sharing that. The paradox is if I do something just for me, it may not be sustainable fuel. No, if I do something, like, for me, for Naya, for Nova, for Carrie, Michelle, for everyone, for me, being a.

Grandparent, so much harder.

That's what really lit the fire for me. And Honestly, that's what 20x everything I'm doing was when I became a father. And I know that this is something you're planning on, right, being a father one day. So how do you see that playing out? Because really, like, in my opinion, you've arrived in a certain way, you know, with the downloads and the revenue and the book. Like, what's the next level when you do become a father? And what does that even feel like palpably in your nervous system and in your psyche right now?

Well, it's exciting. Also scares the shit out of me, which I think it should for everybody, Right? Valid. It's the way that it should be. Because, you know, I think the part that scares me is also everything that we go through in life is just another place to show you where you're not free. Right? So, like, building a business is one of the most transformational things you'll ever do in your own personal development. Because all of your shit comes up. I also. So there's. There's four things I say that will. That I think are the main pillars that will kind of. Are there other ones? For sure? There definitely are some. Maybe I'm unaware of them that will make somebody's. All of their shit come up. Number one is trying to build a business because all of your insecurities are going to come up, and that's why it's easier just to give up than to actually do it. The second one is getting into a deep romantic relationship because they're going to be a proxy for your parents and all of your shit with your parents is going to come up. Right. The third one is going on personal and also physical journey of transforming your body. Because a lot of people's identity is like, well, I've always been overweight. I'm just always going to be this way. It's like, that's not fact. It wasn't written into the universe of you're always going to be overweight. Or if it's in your genes. Maybe it is in your genes, but also doesn't mean that you can't get into shape. So it's like a lot of your insecurities will come up that way. And then the other one is obviously going to be having kids as well. I've taken three of those journeys, so this is like the fourth one of like, okay, yeah, I'm going to step into this, this, this fatherhood thing. And it's something that I'm trying to try on it. It's scary, but it's also really exciting because I know so much about early childhood development. I've studied it for so long because I was trying to figure myself out and then trying to figure out how I can help other people understand themselves as well is I'm. I've come to the point where I understand I'm going to fuck them up in some sort of way. I'm just going to try to fuck him up less. Right. But also the other part of it is whatever does happen is exactly as it's supposed to happen. And I trust no matter what, whatever it is, it's exactly as supposed to happen. So for me, I think it's just another journey that we have in life that allows us to rediscover who we truly are. And I love the fact that you're like, yeah, I became more successful when I had kids was because you took it Outside of, like, me, me, me. And now it's like, us. It's the world. It's. Let me try to figure out how to make this better for them. Oh, I'm going to die before they do, hopefully. Which means that I'm going to leave. What world am I leaving? My children? And I think that whether somebody wants to be a parent or not, we're leaving the world at some point in time. How are we going to leave the world? And so for me, it's like, I just know that there's things that I believe that society. I believe that the world is just a reflection of the human psyche. That's. It is. That's exactly what it is. You don't see the world as it is. You see the world as you are. And so whatever you see that's wrong with the world is actually something that you see that's wrong within yourself. So for me, I think that for being a parent, it's just going to be another journey that's going to bring up all of my stuff. I don't. This is the thing that I try to tell people is like, I don't ever think I'm going to be to a point where I'm like, I'm perfect, I'm enlightened, I'm amazing. I have nothing else to work through. You know, my grandfather lived to 96 years old, and I hope I can live to 96 as well. Which means if I do, I have 59 more years on this earth. I don't think that in 59 more years of personal development, of self development, of spiritual development, that I'm going to get to a point where I'm perfect and I'm completely okay with it. And that was one of the best feelings that I ever had, was I realized that there was no destination to get to. It is just a constant unfolding of rediscovering who we are. And I will get lost 5 billion times along the way in the next 60 years, but I'm gonna. Each time I get lost, it's just another place to rediscover who I truly am. And I think that's the path that we're all on, is we. I've thought about it where it's like, if you look at a child, a baby is perfect. And like I said, we fuck them up. And so there's a break at some point in time in all of our lives where we break from ourselves to be somebody else based off of who we think we're supposed to be, who we Perceive other people to be what our parents have told us we're supposed to be. And we get so far off down the journey. That's why a lot of people, I think, wake up at 40, 50 years old, and they're like, what the fuck have I done with my life? Like, who am I? What. What. What is this thing that I've built because I'm doing what everyone else does? And it's that. It's that moment where they're like, okay, there's an opening to start to see who I truly am. And I think that we have many awakening processes where we could rediscover who we truly are. And for me, it's just like, I'm trying to get back to who I truly am deep down inside, rediscover who that is. And so for me, having children is trying not to break them too far off of their true self. I don't think that there's a way that we could just raise a perfect human, because I think that the reason why we're here is to lose ourself in many different ways, to then go on the path of rediscovery, to figure out who we truly are.

People ask me, they're like, so what's it like having kids? Such an interesting question. And the analogy that I give is like, you know, rock counters where they dig for diamonds. Well, imagine your heart is a cave, and you know it to be a certain capacity right now. When you bring life into the world, you will carve out more spaciousness in your heart for as many diamonds as you can imagine that you never even thought was possible. And that's actually the beauty of parenthood. But in true paradox, it has its identity shifts. You talk about this in the book the Identity Triangle. Dude, I went through, like, oh, my God, I'm literally just a slave. I'm just paying for things. I'm just taking care of kids when I get home from the studio. Like, there is a massive identity earthquake that one gets to go through when they become a parent. And also when they go from being a employee or intrapreneur to an entrepreneur. I don't care what medium we're talking about. There's always a shattering and a rebuilding, right? That the Phoenix comes from, from the ashes for a reason. It's because you got to burn the shit down. So this identity triangle, it influences your actions, which determine your results, which feedback to your identity. Spend a day as a person you want to be. Talk about that. Because identity can be carried throughout an entire person's life if they don't have the spiritual intelligence and really like the. The somatic experience as well of what it even means to have a decision making faculty to change one's identity. It's a big one. It's huge.

Yeah. Well, even in. Somewhere in that chapter is when I actually quote Alan Watts, which we were just. You're just saying Watts as well.

If there was one person I could interview.

Yeah.

It would be Alan Watts.

I love Alan Watts.

I would go out to the realms way outside of the strategy. I would sit at a table with Alan Watson, like, share with me.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, the wisdom of Insecurity. That book was, like, mind blowing for me. And it came at a point in my life where I was like, I need to read this. And it's. It's. You introduced me to that book, really.

When I was at Paleo in 2017. Yeah, you told me about that book.

That's when I was reading it.

It's in my audible.

Yeah. I love that book.

I. Me too.

Yeah. So the. The quote that I say and Alan Watts is that you're under no obligation to be who you were five minutes ago. And we act like our personality and who we are is like this set set in stone. Like, this is who I am. This is who I've always been. And if people want to live that way forever, that's fully the prerogative. They can. They can decide to just be that person forever, or they can just decide to be somebody else. And the example that I give inside the book, Lauren and I were. This was probably about two and a half, three years ago, actually, before COVID happened. So it was about three and a half years ago, I guess, and we were in our condo downtown and we were watching Queer Eye. And we've seen probably every single episode of Queer Eye. Cause I just love seeing people who they are. And it can change once their environment changes, once their. Their style changes, and they just start to change. And there was this. This lady that was on there, and she was probably 35, something like that, and she. She goes. They make her all pretty. They make her all nice. They give her. Everything's all new, and there's like something that's still resisting. And they're like, what's wrong? She's like looking at herself in the mirror and she's like, I still feel like I'm ugly. And the guys are like, well, who told you you were ugly when you were a kid? And she's like, my aunt. She's like, I remember getting all Dressed up to go to an event. And I was so excited because I was wearing a new dress and I felt all pretty. She was like 8 years old. I felt how pretty to go this like, little dance that we were going to. And her aunt, who probably had all these kinds of traumas as well, and the stories and stuff, said, you're ugly. And. And she was carrying that for like now 27 years at this point. And I remember I was in the kitchen, I was listening to it, and I turned to Lauren and I was like, man, that's crazy. And she's like, what? I was like, it's basically like she was there in front of her aunt, and her aunt took this dirty T shirt and put it on top of her. And the T shirt just says, you're ugly. And so she just has been wearing this shirt unconsciously her entire life, just wearing this I'm ugly shirt. And there's so many events that we. Like, millions of events that we have over course of our life, of things that we see our parents do, things that might have said directly to us, all of that. And her perception of herself is, I'm ugly. And she's looking at the entire world through that identity of I'm ugly. And she's never once taken a step back, looked down and been like, whose fucking shirt is this? She just thought, well, this is shirt I'm supposed to wear forever. And so I think that for people, it's really about like, taking a step, taking a step back and be like, what is my perception of myself and who do I actually think that I am? Like, if you go to the example of I have a. A really good friend who's struggled with weight loss, it's gone up, it's gone down. It's gone up, it's gone down. We had a conversation about this before. I remember you saying that, that you had kind of like a journey of up and down. Oh, for sure. And.

And then you add sleep deprivation from being a dad. It's a whole new journey.

Yes.

I'm on the upside now, though.

Yeah. I mean, you're looking good, which is good. But it's like he. But he. He had this perception of, of him always being the fat kid because he remembered being a kid when he was made fun of his school for being the fat kid. And so he had this identity of like, I'm the fat kid. And it's been really hard to break through that because it's still internally inside of them. There's some people who have the identity of like, well, it's in my genes. If you look at my family, like, my mom's overweight, my dad's overweight, and they look at it and they think, oh, it's just in their genes, it's going to be that way. And if the reason why I say identity goes into actions, actions go into results, and results go back into your identity is if you have to question who you think that you are. You know, Persona. Personality comes from the root word, Greek word, Persona, which is a mask that, that they would wear on stage back in the Greek days was like they were just their Persona and they could take that mask off. And so personality has never been. Been meant to be something. When you actually look at the root of the word of something that is, like, set in stone, it's something you can change at any moment. But when we look at it and we're like, oh, well, it's in my genes, I'm just going to be overweight forever. If that's your identity and identity feeds into action, why would you ever take any action to try to be healthier? Because I don't know about you. Like, pizza tastes way better than like a chicken. You know, chicken with salt on it and rice. I'd much rather have pizza and hamburgers and everything and ice cream all day, every day. I'd much rather have sugar and all that stuff way more than try to eat healthy. So that's going to be the actions that I'm going to take. But it's also like, why would you go to the gym and work out if your perception of yourself and your identity is that I'm always going to be overweight.

Yes.

And so I think that a lot of people, people need to take a step back and be like, well, who do I actually think that I am? And how's my identity influencing the actions that I have? Because whatever actions you take are going to get some sort of results. There's always a consequence to everything, whether it's the right action or the wrong action. And let me take a step back. Right and wrong is actually not the right words because it, it implies that something could be wrong. And I don't think that anything ever could be wrong. But you take either an action is going to get you towards where you want to go, or you're going to get your action further away from where you want to go. And that's going to feed back into your identity. You're going to say, see, well, you know, I tried working out and dieting for two weeks, but I only Lost two pounds. And so I'm just going to be this way forever. You don't get the results that you want feeds into your identity. Well, of course you didn't get the results because you're just fat. You're always going to be that way. It's in your genes. And so I think it's just important for people to take a step back and be like, who do I think I am? And is this who I want to be? Because you can just try to be somebody else. And I've done this for myself. Like I told you, I am a shy person. I was always shy when I was a kid. I was super shy 8th grade. I didn't have. Hadn't had a girlfriend yet. And I was like, I got to get past this if I want to date some girls. And so I was like, I'm just going to try to be outgoing. And so I would go. I think about what I was going to say. And I go, three, two, one, go. And I would like just say whatever the first word that was going to be. And it forced me to start. It's funny because Mel Robbins book the Five Second Rules is about that. Counting down from five and then going. But it was like, I'm just going to try to be more outgoing. And I tried it on for a little while and I was like, okay. There's some aspects of this I like. There's some aspects I don't like. I try that on and then I just do it for a little while. And it's like, why, if you're shy, why don't you just go out and every person that you come in contact with, you try to start a conversation with and just see if you like it. Because you can just change it tomorrow if you want to. You don't have to be that person forever.

It's so good. Jordan Peterson calls it systematic desensitization.

Yeah.

Where he had. He had a patient. He was describing where they were so deathly afraid of elevators. They always had to walk the stairs. And it was cutting into their life. It was a really irrational fear.

Yeah.

And he would take them to the building one day, then he would take them to the door the next day. And he would just inch by inch, almost like a caterpillar moving, he would get them into the elevator. And over time, the woman was able to ride the elevator. And I think you can apply that to fucking anything in life. You know what comes up for me when you were sharing, man, so good is it's really like weight loss, health Fitness. I was a trainer for 10 years. Nobody ever came to me because they wanted, like, the perfect workout. They came to me because they were looking for whatever my reflection of them was that could allow them to be different. That would give them the permission slip to actually be different. And so in my own life, when I hold the pizza or when I. I don't do dairy anymore, by the way, shout out to all you who are lactose intolerant. That's me. I literally, like, feel the energy of it, much like you do when you meditate. You say the first answer that pops up is true. You've created that. You have flexed that mental muscle over 10 plus years now. I think for all of us, really, at the bottom of it all is nothing that we do has anything to do with who we think we are. It's really just an integrity issue based on the actions that we take and who we know we can be. In other words, if I know that I'm 17% body fat, I'm 215 pounds, because that's where I feel the best, then any choice where I pause and check in with that choice, if it's out of alignment with who I actually know that I am instead of who I think that I am, huge difference. It's an integrity issue. And that's why I think people go into addictions of any kind. I mean, I wonder if you could even reflect on your dad, like, maybe there was an integrity issue with him. You know, Gabor Marte says the opposite of addiction is connection, connection to self or connection to others. So I'm curious how you feel about this, because really, all addiction, all procrastination, all things that take us outside of our body and put us into doing the things that harm us, that are deleterious, that we know we don't want to do, yet we still do them all the time. I think I feel from my life experience, man, I'm 43 now and I'm still learning this. It's really an integrity issue. Kind of like you said in 2017, are you eating your own dog food? What do you make of that now? Has that changed the integrity in your life? Like, were there ways in the past that that maybe you broke your own integrity and now those are so solid that they don't even need to be scaffolded. They're just so embedded in your psyche because of the identity you are and that, you know, you can be that it doesn't require any effort anymore.

Yeah. Well, so first off, yeah, so I'll tell You a couple things because I love that you brought up Gabor, mate. He was the first person that I was like, finally somebody understands addiction. Because I was able to see addiction as a child. And the good thing that was that the thing that was, was great. I think of as far as being a child is I never was one of those kids who thought like, oh, my father's alcoholism is my fault, I thought, or my parents divorce was my fault. I never put it on myself. I ended up finding out I, I knew my dad had demons. I knew my dad's dad had committed suicide. I didn't know the whole story behind it. So I found out through my grandma about four years ago. So the whole story was my grandfather, my dad's dad was a deacon in the church. He was very devout Christian, all of this. And he, they lived in Columbia, Tennessee and he worked for a company. The company ended up being Monsanto. And yeah, before anybody knew what Monsanto was, any of that stuff, right, he worked for Monsanto, ended up developing stomach cancer and was in so much pain he started drinking just to try to get out of the pain. And so what happened was that was the only thing that, you know, there wasn't really prescription medication like there is now to help with pain, I guess. So not saying that would have been better, but he started drinking and then that was the only thing that got away from his pain. It got really bad. It got really bad, got really bad and got to a point where it was so bad. My dad was 12 years old, he heard a gunshot. He went into the room and he saw in bed his dad had killed himself and shot himself with a shotgun and shot himself in the mouth of the shotgun. So my 12 year old dad walked in and saw that at 12 years old, had two younger sisters and woke up and was the man of the house. The next day dad was gone, all of that. And so for me, I think that the, the connection that you're talking about, it's a disconnect, was my dad's dad. My dad's problem most likely was his lack of connection with his dad and him never feeling that and never overcoming his own demons. For me, my mom's biggest fear is, you know, that the alcohol gene lives inside of me, which maybe I don't even know if it's real, maybe it is, maybe it's not. But I made the decision years ago ago. I will never be addicted to alcohol or any sort of drugs. It's just not going to have a handle on me in any sort of way. And so I was very aware that my dad had his own demons and that's where his came from. I think that's his, his lack of connection there was that he probably was never overcame it. You know, they were poor, they lived in rural Tennessee, never got therapy that he needed. Was never really somebody that talked about it. Never really talked to my mom about it, even though we were married for 23 years. Never really really talked about his dad. And so I think I just understood that that was, that was his demons. And I never placed them on myself as, as my fault or my issue. So the bring up Gabriel Monte is really big because he was the first person that I heard that I always had this idea of like, I feel like addiction is all. Addiction is some sort of thing that somebody can't overcome. And like they're not coming in contact with the past, not working through the past in some sort of way. And so for me, the first time I heard Gabor Mate, I was like, yes, this guy gets it. And I was like, oh, he spent 12 years on the streets with drug addicts addicted to heroin. As a psychologist, he knows what he's talking about.

He's been honest about his own workaholism as well.

And that's what's interesting. So then I made the whole connection of, oh, well, I'm never gonna be an alcoholic. So my addiction became work. That's what it was. That's what it is. You know, so then it took me years to realize that like, I was like the, the, the most eye opening thing for me is, is I, I developed this workaholism. I could do a. I did for three years in Cutco, 100 to 110 hours a week, every single week, 7am to 11pm Monday through Sunday. All I want to be was just the number one office in the United States. Hit it. And then I was like, well, this doesn't feel good. I'm going to quit. I just quit. I was just done with it after that. And so for me, I, I developed. Becoming a workaholic is what really happened with me. And, and I realized that what I was trying to do is I was trying to build safety. That safety, if you go back to the wisdom of insecurity, we feel insecure, which means we don't feel safe. And so my safety was built in. Okay. I've never felt financially secure. I've seen what it looks like when you're not financially secure. You know, my mom applied for food stamps when I was a kid, but couldn't get it. Because we had a car, and I guess you can't have a car to get food. Food stamps. I don't know why, but that we couldn't get food stamps. So we had to struggle even more by not being able to. To, you know, have the amount of food that we needed. There was never a point where I was like, I didn't get food, but we probably could add more, right? So there is that. And so for me, the. The whole situation was I developed a workaholism for me, and. And then one day I woke up, and I realized, okay, I was, like, 32 years old, five, probably five years ago. And I was like, what am I. What am I doing? Why am I doing this? Like, I'm working all of the time, and I'm trying to basically create security in my life, was all I was trying to do. Then what happened was Lauren and I. So my. My wife and I have been together for nine years now. We got married a year ago at this point. And I realized when we got married that the security I was actually looking for wasn't financial security. It was emotional security. And that was where I had the emotional security. And so I think that the connection that you're talking about is actually emotional security where people don't feel emotionally secure a lot of times with people around them, with their family, with their parents. But a lot of times they get into relationships and they don't feel emotionally secure with the person they're in a relationship with because they don't. They don't actually talk. They don't actually bring up the awkward conversations that they need to have with people. And so with the. The awkward conversations is ones that we really lean into. And the reason why is because it's a team. We need to work at this together. And so I realized. I had this conversation with Lauren. We have a friend who's kind of going through a divorce, might be getting divorced, might not be getting divorced. And she asked me a question. She said, well, she really loves him, though. And I go, yeah, she loves him, but I don't think she's in love with him. And she goes, well, what does that mean? And what does it mean to be in love? Actually, first off, she asked me the question that a female would. She goes, well, are you in love with me? And I was like, yes. And she goes, how do you know? And I. I was like, that's a good question. How do I know? My lady will ask me.

I'll be like, I love you, babe. She'll be like, why?

Yeah, I was like, oh, man, this is blindsided. We're driving literally on 620 out on this road right here. And so I was like, that's a good question. Let me think about that. And I said, I don't think that being in love with somebody is like, Hollywood shows it to be. It's not like this Hollywood fairy tale where, like, I'm head over heels and you're, oh, my God, we're frolicking in a. In a field together, and we're so in love. And it's just where sometimes it can be right, but then there's other times where it's like, what I actually think. And that's definitely good to feel that way. What I actually think is that it's. It is. My definition of being in love with somebody is to be in the state of love means that I know that I have things I need to work through my life. I know that I have childhood traumas. I know that I have stuff from my dad, stuff from my mom, bullying as a kid, everything that's happened to me. And you make me feel like I'm in such a state of love, in such a state of acceptance that I feel safe enough to work through these deep things with you. And I was like, that's what my definition of love is. Because before I got married, even when we were together for a while, it was there, but it wasn't fully there. And then once I made the commitment, I was like, oh, okay. I think I actually get it now. And so for me, kind of bringing it all back around, what I realized is I was trying to build financial security, but what I was really searching for was emotional security, which is someone. And, you know, as a guy, we're supposed to be. You know, we think that we're supposed to be strong. We're supposed to be the provider. We're not supposed to be weak. We're not supposed to show any weakness. It's really like, hey, I feel safe enough where when shit comes up, I want to talk with you about it. And she's going to be, you know, in love doesn't mean that you're in love is just a state. You can be in love all of the time. The same way that I can be in happiness. I could be in anger, but in love is just a state that I could be in. And I feel safe enough with you in the state of love to bring up these things, not be judged, not be. Not have your agendas placed on top of me. But I feel safe enough to be able to bring this up with you. And that's the connection that I think a lot of people are missing. And that was a connection that I was missing that made me a workaholic. That was probably the connection my dad was missing that made him feel an alcoholic. And so I think that's a lot of things that people don't really think about is that what we're really searching for, in my personal opinion, is emotional security with another person.

Look, I'm going to reductionize because you've brought up so many good topics, but at the end of the day, when you and I lay our heads on the pillow, when we all lay our heads on the pillow, do we love ourselves? Do we feel loved? Or do we fear the world and fear others? Or do we fear who we actually are? Yeah, it actually is that simple. Now, I'm not saying just because it's simple that it's easy to embody, but at the core of it all, like, we either love ourselves and others or we fear ourselves and others. And so if that's the ultimate truth, which is totally a paradox, because why would God need to know God's self and love and fear? That's a whole nother podcast. I wonder how you make this in your own life make sense and make sense to people that are beginning the journey. Because to me, the more I interview with Paul Check, the more. This is almost 600 episodes, right, of people like you who are committed, like, truly committed to knowing themselves and knowing the world and having a connection to God. What is the purpose of all this? What in the hell are we even doing here? I have my thoughts, but what do you make of this entire thing, this Rob Dial, Josh Trent experience here that we're having even in the world?

Yeah.

What is this all about for you? And. And do you find that people can get stuck on that question more times than not? Because that's how it showed up for me.

I mean, well, damn. You're going to ask me a question. What's the purpose in life? All right, we're doing.

We're doing the woo break.

Let's. Let's do it. I love to go down this route. So for me, through all of the personal development I've gone through, it was funny because I feel like I got to a person, I got to personal development. I read all the books, I did all the work, and then I found spiritual development. And the way I explain it is like, if this right here, this cup for people who can't see, like, I have this cup of water, right? This is like personal development. And I felt like I worked myself for like 14, 15, 16, 17 years, and I felt like I was pretty full on this cup, right? And I was like, man, I feel like I know myself really well. When things come up, I can work on myself. I can get myself out of states. I can notice things when they're about to pop up. So I kind of have some foresight of when I'm about to get angry or anxious or something sad or whatever it is. This is like the. The personal development cup. Then I got a spiritual development, and I realized that there's like a giant bucket outside of it that's completely empty. And I was like, oh, my God, this one's way deeper than the personal development. Like, the spiritual development side's way deeper. So it's funny that you asked this question because you know how when you go on YouTube and you click on one thing, you get the same thing forever? Sure. So as of recently, Clear your cash. Yeah, as of recently. Recently, I clicked on near death experiences, and I've been just watching people who have had these near death experiences. And it's really crazy because just go. Anybody go into YouTube and type in near death experience? Just watch a couple of them. And it's really odd because I was telling Lauren this literally yesterday. Last night, we were watching one of them, and I was like, everybody says the same thing. It's really odd. Like, there's this. They're all different experiences, but they all come with the. Come out of the exact same thing. And all of it is. Is that we're supposed to just love. And for the longest time, I've been like, okay, what the does that mean? Right? Because for me, like, love is something that I don't feel like was omnipresent in my life. And it was something I've had to, like, rediscover. I think that's why I'm in a. I'm in a relationship with Lauren, because I learn it from her, because she's got. She's able to. Not that she has more, but she's able to show it better than I am. And that's something that I'm working on. So you look at it and it's like all of you people say almost the exact same thing, which is, we're here to love and we're here to experience. And so, you know, if you look back to before the big bang, if we want to say that that's a thing that happened, I don't know if it did or Didn't. We can say that it did at this point, but before, when there's just only God, God's sitting there, and God's like, well, this is kind of boring. Like, I'm just here for billions and billions of years. You know, it'd be fun. It'd be good to, like, have an experience. It'd be good to, to do something, to. To experience. And it's like when people say, it's like, you know, the one then becomes duality. And when you start to look at duality, if you look at the world, like, if you look at the Bible through. And I'm not trying to say anybody's experience or beliefs are wrong or incorrect, I'm just going to give you my interpretation of it. When you look at the Bible through duality, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But when you look at the Bible through oneness, through unity, it all makes sense. And then you look at, like the Bhagavad Gita and you look at all of the Hindus and it's like, oh, this makes sense. And the perception that I love is, well, first off, I think he does a really good job, if you read Conversation with God of explaining this, because the first time I read, I was like, oh, my God. I feel like this is a God that. I've always thought that. But when I was raised Catholic, this isn't what was taught to me. And it was actually the exact opposite. So there's God is by himself, he's sitting there, she's by himself, by herself. It's by itself, and it breaks off to then create duality, which is two of them. In. In duality, you have to experience everything, but in duality, you can't have. I can't show you a quarter and show you the head side without there also being the tail side as well. So in order to have experience, you have to have the good and the bad. Alan Watts, once again, it's like you can't go. And you can't thread and create something with a thread and needle and make an incredible thing on the front side without looking at the backside. The back doesn't touch it.

You can't touch the tip of your own finger. You can't bite your own teeth. Yeah, that's another Alan Watts.

Yeah. And it's like there's.

Maybe he's in the room with us right now.

He must be. And so there, there's. There's the other side to it of everything that you do. And so I had this conversation with My mom. Because my mom's very Christian. And we had this conversation one Christmas, and. And I was just giving her my perspective. She's like, why. Why are we here? Okay, if. If. If I'm not following this, if I'm not supposed to follow this book, why are we here? And I was like, you're supposed to experience yourself because God is. Is here to experience everything. And. And that's what we are. And so I'm. If. If I recognize that there's a piece of God inside of me, I also have to recognize there's a piece of God inside of you. And I also have to recognize it for my enemies that there's a piece of God. The equal amount that's in me is in them, right? So I have to. I have to recognize that in someone else. And so she. She's like, well, none of this makes any sense. And I was like, okay, let me. Let me bring in, like, the Hindu way of. Of seeing it. When I read the Bhagavad Gita is basically the idea of. It's not that God is, like, up on this pedestal and we're like these subordinates that are under God. It's that God is under and within all things is basically the way the Hindus describe it. Which means, like, you know, he's in this water right here. He's in this piece of paper. He's in, you know, my ring. He's on this table. He's inside of me. It's God is under and within God is everything. If you add up the entire consciousness of the entire world, it adds up to one, and that is God. But then you go, okay, well, tell me about the Bible and how that relates. And she asked me that, and I said, well, there's only one time that God comes in and says God's name in the Bible. Do you know what it is? And she goes. She's like, I think it's, you know, the part where Moses has to go to the Israelites. And I'm not an expert on the Bible, but Moses goes to Israelites and he. God sends him. And God says. He says, who do I say sent me? And God says, I am, that I am. Which makes no sense unless you realize that it's been translated over and over again. And if you just actually take it and put a comma in it, it makes sense, which is I am that comma I am. Which is I am, that I am, that I am, that I am, that I am. Everything that you could possibly see. I am all of it. God is under and within all things. So then my mom says, well, what about the whole idea of, you know, Jesus coming and saying the only way to get to the Father is through me? And I was like, you realize that Christianity, what we're told is we're supposed to worship Jesus and all of this stuff, but many times in the Bible, Jesus just says, hey, everyone around me can do anything that I can do. The least of you can do what I have done something similar along those lines of what Jesus says. And so what he's trying to say to me, in my opinion, once again, in my opinion, is that the way to get to God, the way to get out of duality and into oneness, is to become me, which means that I am the perfect example of what you're supposed to be. Don't worship me, become me. And then you will be connected with God again. And so that's my perception of what we're here for and the reason why we're on this journey. I think God just wants to experience great things. And so God is in everything that you see. He's inside of me. He's inside of you. He's inside of your biggest enemy. He's inside of the person running for president that you hate more than anything else. He's inside of the starving child that's in another country. And he's just trying to experience every aspect of the human condition.

That's one hell of a way to end a podcast right there. I love it, dude. And everybody please go and do your own spiritual work. I'm just going to say this one thing. Isaiah 45:7. I, the Lord create dark and light. I create good and evil. I, the Lord do all these things and.

Goosebumps, you saying that.

Isaiah 45:7. So if that's the truth, and no matter how many times it's been translated, the etymology that the, the gravitas of that statement is real, then God is the devil, Devil is God. God is no thing. Everything from a zero point field that you and I are individuated from and we're just expressing God through a unique vessel called Robin.

Josh.

Yeah, that's pretty exciting. Now, it doesn't mean that we're not going to feel fear or you know, times of trigger or, you know, withhold our love. Like this is all part of the human experience. And I think it's how God knows God's self, otherwise it wouldn't be here. Because if all is God, then that's the answer.

Yeah. Hey, maybe we're wrong. Who knows, but this is just our perception. So take it or don't take it. Who cares?

And rounded out from how we started. The story I'm telling myself, does it give me the fruit? Is it bearing fruit in my life that's loving, that's moving me forward, that's making me become the person I know in my wildest dreams that I could be? I say yes. Yeah, I say yes to that, man. So tell people where they can get the book. Tell people about your podcast and we'll sign off.

Yeah. So this should be launching. The book launches this week. That this is going to be coming out right. Today is October 3rd, and so it's called level up. How to get focused, stop procrastinating, and upgrade your life. All they have to do, go to Amazon however you want to buy it. Type in level up and then, Rob, dial. It should pop up right there. And it's been cool. It's, you know, as we're recording this, it hasn't launched yet. It's about to. But it's been number one in entrepreneurship. It's been number one in psychology. It's been number one in neurology. It's been number one in a few different categories. And so it's already doing pretty well. And I just hope that it. Once again, I just hope it changes someone's life. Somebody's life changes from it. It's. It's something that helped them, and so that's. That's where they can read my book. And my idea with the book is I wanted to have something that was like start to finish, like a manual to help people.

Yeah.

Because my podcast, I have 1300 episodes, so it's like they're all over the place. Like, a lot of them, every one of them is on how to improve yourself, but it's not like a step by step by step, step by step. And so people want to listen to the podcast. It's the mindset mentor. And it's anywhere that you see this, you could. And you listen to this, you can listen to it there as well. Are you on YouTube, too? I am, yeah. Cool. Okay. Well, I'm everywhere.

Y' all are watching this on YouTube or Spotify.

I'm a part of God. I'm omnipresent, too. Like, I'm in all of the categories.

Shout out to Kevin Kelly in the technium that consciousness is expressing itself through.

That's right, Rob.

It's been a joy, dude.

I had.

I never have expectations with podcasts. I have my notes, but I just loved where we went. And you're a great conversationalist, and I just have a lot of respect for what you've created. Like, it's a true dynasty. And the thing that I love the most is that you said, I can still use my ego to get excited about things and harness the power of the ego without the ego being in the driver's seat. I love that the most. So thank you for coming on the show, man.

Thanks, brother. Appreciate you, man.

Okay, you guys, until Rob and I see you again, go pick up the book. It's right below this video. And also, just watch this a couple times. If you felt something strong from this, which I know you did, then share it with friends. Share it with anybody that you think is trying to answer the questions in their life that are causing them procrastination and fear and all the stuff that just truly does not serve us. So until we see you again, I'm wishing you love and wellness. We'll talk to you soon. Hey, thanks for watching this video. If you love this video, hit subscribe. That way you'll be automatically notified when new videos videos come out, new episodes. And also share this video with a friend. If you loved it, they're going to love it, too. Check out some of the videos on this screen that are perfectly curated based on the video you just saw. Make sure you follow me and I'll see you in the next video.