Top 7 Ways To Beat Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Hello, this is Josh Trent and Ali Waddell. This is not a Wednesday, Ali. We were supposed to do these on Wednesday. What happened?

Life.

Life happened.

Real life happened. We were gonna film early so that we could release it on Wednesday like always. And I have a sick grandmother. That happens. And so I had to go out of town. And then you had an engagement with the amazing power plate in Chicago where you turned into a popsicle.

Literally, I turned into a popsicle.

And that's the theme of today.

And that's why we're talking about today, this seasonal affective disorder. It's no problem that it says sad because I think we can connect the dots on that. I have always felt, Ali, that during the winter I kind of have to pay attention to how I feel a hell of a lot more than in the summer. How about you?

Oh, yeah. Oh, completely. Yeah. I mean, I think both of us are a teensy bit spoiled being from Texas and California and not really having the giant differentiation in seasons. But I still feel it here because especially I'm. I'm not a big fan of being freezing unless I'm like, skiing. And so I tend to, like, huddle up a little and not want to go outside as much.

And I just got this in Chicago, which, if you're in Chicago, if you're watching this, by the way, wherever you are, if you're watching this on the replay, tell us how cold it is where you are. It was 22 degrees in Chicago. That was there. No, that was like the. The average temperature.

Oh, my God.

And the Uber driver was like, yeah, this isn't even really that bad. And I'm just thinking to myself, how do the health of these Chicagoans, Chicago citizens, how does that health grow during the winter? I mean, like the weather literally. Ali forges them to connect with one another. So in a way it's cool because they can't do anything else other than relate to one another, but their physiology suffers like a mofo. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, actually, we. I went to Minneapolis. Have you ever been to Minneapolis? It has such an interesting.

Close to one of those cold ass.

Lakes, but it has the most. I might be completely slightly wrong on this, but the most interlaced tunnels, they have these like walkways all the way through the cities, through all of the skyscrapers. So it goes from like third floor to third floor. And it's like you're in a giant, like mouse area. And it's because it's so freaking cold outside.

Yes.

That during. During the winter, like there's far less foot traffic. And so there's stores and everything on these other levels of like where people walk around. I always thought that was like, super interesting how people like just build it. But then you go to Denmark and like, it's freezing and people are biking to work, you know, so it's kind of like where, where, where is your comfort level? And mine is set at full on Texas wussy.

Michael says I'm three hours south of Chicago, 35 minutes east of St. Louis and it's 53 degrees here today. Oh my God. 53 degrees is pretty good. Call me for the wintertime. Michael, tell us and anybody else watching on the replay, how do you, how do you stay not just emotionally warm, but physiologically warm? We're going to talk about this today. We have some really amazing tips about how to kind of take these natural things that our body does to achieve homeostasis and multiply them. The first one though, that I want to talk about is sunlight. How do you get sunlight in a city where there's not a lot of sun? Like right now in San Diego, it's a little overcast, right? So we can't exactly get that like morning sunlight first thing. It's challenging. But if you can, there is actually a Nobel Prize that was awarded this year to two scientists and they studied the chronobiology. It's kind of like this natural sleep wake cycle of fruit flies. And it was a Nobel Prize of science that was awarded to these scientists for the specificity around chronobiology. And we posted this in the Wellness Force group. It just blows my mind, Ali, how we've come to be such a productive society, yet we're ignoring these natural sleep wake cycles. When you wake up in the morning, I know you're doing keto and fasting, which I respect you, I can't do that right now. But when you wake up in the morning, how soon do you actually get your physical body into the sun? Is that possible where you're living now?

It kind of depends on the day. Two days a week. I have a very early client, so I'm up at 4:15 because my first client's at 5:00am hold on.

Your body's still producing melatonin at that time?

Yeah. So it's a little bit of like, woo, what's up? Let's get up. Um, but most of the times, you know, if my clients don't start, the other days, my clients start, you know, 6:30, 7:30. So the sun is starting to rise. The one thing that I found really interesting about the circadian rhythm is I was trying to go outside, especially during the summer, and do grounding, stand barefoot, face west, you know, kind of sun gaze. And I've been doing this, and I was talking to one of my friends who's really into circadian rhythms, and he goes, but are you wearing your contacts? And I was like, yeah, why not? And he goes, yeah, your contacts have complete UV blockage. So if you're going to do that, you need to stay in your glasses or take, you know, at least take your contacts out while you're. While you're trying to absorb all your UVA that then produces your melatonin to then get launched later in the day. And people don't really understand that is that this, this you looking at the. At the sun feels kind of like, what, what are we doing? We're gonna go stand outside and like, oh, no. It really is the bot. The thing that, that regulates all of our hormones, all of our digestion, our gut biome. It's so interesting. Rhonda Patrick has done some studies on gut biome changes in your circadian rhythm and how actually processed food differently throughout the day. And I just found that, like, the most interesting study because we've gotten so disconnected. And then your phone on, you know, normal setting, they say, is like, looking blue. Light wise is about looking at a noonday sun. And if you're looking at your phone, you know, they average what, 150 to 200 times a person that you're, you're telling your body over and over again that it's noon, it's noon, it's still noon, it's still noon. And then people like, I don't know why I can't go to bed. Your body's like, I'm confused.

And then, and then what happens to people is you get a little bit out, then you get a lot out of this natural sleep wake cycle. And then at some point, your body is just like, okay, you need to pay attention to me. I'm going to give you a symptom. I'm going to give you depression. I'm going to give you tiredness, I'm going to give you weight gain, I'm.

Going to give you moody insomnia.

It's all just clues, right? Like, our body's constantly. That's what we talk about, this physical intelligence. Our body's constantly giving us signals and signs and symptoms. Michael talks about running in the morning in the sun when he's already up. Gives me a mental and physical boost Hell, yes. We're going to talk about that later on in our seven tips. But, Ali, talk us through the second one. I'm curious, if you do this, do you have a club that you go to that has sauna or steam? The heat shock proteins, which I actually Learned about from Dr. Rhonda Patrick.

Yes.

So great for the body, especially during the winter when we're cold as hell.

Yeah. She is like the guru of the sauna. Yes. I am lucky enough that my gym has a sauna, a dry sauna. And so I have been consistently, semi consistently, mostly consistently trying to sit in there a minimum of 20 minutes three times a week. Right now, when it's cold and I run so cold, it's like heaven. I mean, I did a post about it this week because it really is like, I feel like the universe, like, kind of giving me a hug and being like, isn't this awesome that you get to sit in here and be warm? And I've actually used that time to also. I do. I time it through my meditation. So I actually put a meditation on and sit in the sauna and do my breath work. And then I would love one of the gyms. CrossFit Central shout out in Austin. Jeremy Thiel does a really amazing hot ice program actually at the gym and has barrel saunas and then ice tubs.

Hold on. Like, you lay in the barrel?

No, no, no. Like, it's made out of a barrel. It's one of those big, round, wooden saunas.

Oh, yes. Okay, I've seen this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so he's running a program where you come. He does it three or four times a week. You come, you do Wim Hof breathwork for about 20 minutes. And then you cycle back and forth between the sauna and. And the ice bath. And I know everybody's like, are you a crazy person? That sounds terrible. It is a little. It's a little intense. Like, the first round, you do five minutes and five minutes and it's. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna lie, it's intense. But I'll tell you, when you're done, you feel like a superhero. You're like, what's up? Yeah. I mean, it is so amazing how much better you feel. And then the research is just there. I mean, Rhonda Patrick's latest study is 20 minutes, three times a day. Cut morbidity. But across the board, 40%.

Yeah.

I mean, that is one hour a week to cut down on every risk of disease. What? Hello.

Waking up the biology. I'M also thinking about too, there's this other adaptogen that, that we have in our body that happens and it's called. What is the name of it here? I'm searching. It's almost like when your body goes through this abrupt change. Ah, it's called hormesis.

Oh, yes.

Yeah. So with hormesis, these heat shock proteins, these cold shock proteins, Dr. Andy Galpin talked about this, where we've become kind of wussified as a society right now. And winter, it's so easy for us to kind of relax and always be comfortable. But actually, that might be, I think, what drives some of this seasonal affective disorder where people are kind of chilling out in the house, they're eating a bunch of food. I was just in Chicago, so it's like the deep dish capital, which is basically five blocks of cheese covered with sauce and then surrounded by dough. I can't think of a more gut bomb sleepy time food than so. Oh, hello. Happy Saturday, Alicia. Let's give Alicia some props.

She has been amazing.

This woman has so much energy, star.

Wellness for. I mean, always sharing awesome things about her personal life and then also sharing so much great info with the community in general. And if you're not on the Wellness Force community, I really suggest you get over there. We have so much fun and everybody's really engaged and helpful. So people put up their wellness questions or any concerns or they're having issues, and then they also share things that are really helping them right now. And then me and Josh are on there kind of leading conversations. So if you're not part of the Wellness Force community, I really highly suggest come on over.

Which brings us perfectly to the next human connection. Right. So I feel like we're really in this, in this time of holidays. It's about gathering and relating and what was interesting to me when I was in this cold climate, you know, next to one of the biggest lakes I've ever seen, by the way, they don't call it the Windy City for no reason. It's freaking wind chill factor minus 1000. But what I did notice is that a lot of these people, especially on the east coast, they'll form these clicks, but it's almost like the weather forges deeper levels of human connection. And I understand that because here in Southern California, or maybe in, you know, Austin, the weather isn't as intense as it is in these cities that are close to, you know, Canada, really, or these big great Lakes. And so I feel like when, when we look at this aspect of human connection, it's really the most important thing. I read a book recently on Audible. That's how I do a lot of my books, actually. I just listen to them. And it was from Scott Galloway, and he wrote the four Google, Facebook, Apple, Amazon. And he talked about the emotional manipulation of these companies and how they're really changing the psychology of especially young kids. And there was a study he cited in his book, which was fascinating, and it was over the course of time, there was a study, and it showed that kids that had healthy nutrition, they had a 15 to 20% increase in mood and general readiness for life and just general gain of happiness. But when you contrasted that same group and you gave them love, the factor of love was actually what drove more physical health than the food itself. So in other words, the nutrition compared to giving kids love, getting them away from their screen, and having those kids feel loved scientifically gave way better health than nutrition, which completely rocked my world. Because we always start with the food, right? Because our physical lens is how we see our world through our emotional eye. But then I look at how, you know, these kids are on their screens all day. How do we do this, Ally? I mean, we have a kid inside. That kid's on the screen all day, too. As an adult, what do you do personally in your life to manage that relationship with the screen? During the holidays, it's kind of easy to just sit on the couch with Coco and your iPad on Facebook all day long. You know what I mean?

Yeah. I mean, I think one of the things is to have real set kind of routines around it because as we know, we're pattern driven animals. And if you can tie a good behavior to. To a pattern that you do every day. So we started a thing when we walk in, all of our phones go in a drawer in the kitchen for a certain period of time. And that is a way people don't understand, like these small things. Like you walk into the house and you're on your phone and your kid's sitting there and your kid goes, hey, mom. And you're like looking down and you're like, yeah, what? You know, hey, how was your day? You know, just completely, yes, you're completely missing each other and it's from both sides. And when you really take tech away from kids, I mean it, I'm telling you, two tiny humans that are obsessed with tech in my household right now, I mean, there is a bit of an adjustment period where they're like freaking out, but they. It just takes a minute, you know, it just takes a minute of Real engagement and they'll turn back on. You know, we've started to do a lot more kind of craft and activity based processes together. So we made Christmas decorations and we made pandas. I know, it's fun. It's super fun. You know, we started coming out and playing basketball. So there's just certain times that I just don't have technology with me. Number one, you want a good relationship, get tech out of your bedroom. I'll just put that out there. Like, if you want to have actual real connection with people, especially with your significant partner, take your phone. First off, do not have a television in your bedroom. It is like an unhealthy crutch of boredom. And then two, turn your freaking phone off or keep it somewhere else. They still make. Here we go. I'm going to tell people something. They make alarm clocks. Here you go. You know, you can have a clock that will wake you up instead of your phone.

Love this.

What new technology they're going to come up with now, Ali?

It's like taking your room and just making your room a room that you sleep in. Like having it be like a safe space chamber. And you know who talked about this? Simon Sinek. In one of his presentations, he was like, you know how we drive health in the age of technology. You buy an alarm clock and everyone in the room was like, what are you. What are you talking about? But everyone says the excuse of I use my phone for my alarm, but that's actually bullshit. You use your phone as your alarm so you can scroll and have all that blue light infiltrating your face at night. Well, we know that's going to crush your melatonin and it's going to activate your stress hormones and everything else. So this is such a good point where we look at, if we're going to gather, let's get rid of the technology. And actually there was a. I'll link this when we're done. In the video, one of the old technology CEOs that worked for Facebook, he's just come out recently and he talked about how his kids don't have any devices. This is a guy who helped build Facebook. Yeah, he helped build Facebook. And none of his kids Ali have devices. None of them. I mean, and he's like, yeah, you know what I told my kids to do? I have them go play outside. I have them get bruises and scrapes and I have them go play a sport and not win a medal. And then we come back and we talk about it and we grow as a family. That way. And when I heard that, I thought to myself, holy shit. It's the same thing with Steve Jobs. It's the same thing with the founder of Microsoft. None of these big tech CEOs, they don't let their family, their young kids play with screens. What do you think they know that we don't know?

They know behind the curtain of how actually influential and how much it actually is changing your brain, period, point blank. I had a. I had a moment like that when I, you know, I was in a group of really amazing chefs that I used to cook with, and we went out in San Francisco. And you're so used to kind of in this whole new, you know, Food Network, although that's not new, but this whole kind of Instagram food famous whatever is like, everybody's pulling out their phone, taking pictures of their dish. And my friend Justin Bronson, who is just an amazing chef, we ordered, and he goes, okay, last thing. And then he made every person at the table of 10 put their phone away, and they could not look at it for the rest of the time. And it's just those reminders of, like, what this is really about this and not about what's on your phone. And we went to an amazing birthday party last night, and it was, again, one of those things where nobody had their technology out. There was probably 30 people there. They. She had a photographer, so people were, you know, so you're actually getting gorgeous photos taken. Because that's the other thing people are so used to, like, I have to document it. If I didn't document the right filter on it.

On the filter.

Yeah. Hold on. Let me face tune myself, because nobody can tell I have wrinkles if my face is blurry. Okay, ladies, I'm going to just do a psa. Everybody knows you're using that stupid app. Please stop.

We're spending, like, so much time on this point about human connection. But it's probably the biggest deal when we look at the studies I cited from Scott Galloway and the kids, how nutrition is actually less powerful than love and human connection. And also, one thing I'm remembering, too, he talked about how the cholesterol actually rose in the kids that just had nutrition and not love. So the body has this mechanism that literally, if you don't give children and adults love, it'll raise our cholesterol, which was fascinating because we look at this emotional body and how it's affected. I just can't think of something during the holidays that can affect seasonal disorder in a positive way more than structuring. And scheduling time for this. Like, I was so stoked to talk with you today because I had known, like, what was going on with you and how much stress you've been under with your grandma and everything. And I was actually really deeply looking forward to connecting with you and to connecting with everyone else. And then Alicia came on, and Daniel's here. Hello, Danielle. Anywhere with someone? Yes. No phones? No phones. Even though there is a part of technology, don't you think, that allows us to connect? But it's just the mindfulness around that. Danielle, we love you. You're so great. You're so awesome. Have you been hanging out with Danielle, by the way, in Austin?

A little. Not as much as I need to.

Okay.

But we talk all the time.

Well, let's close this one up, because Michael talked about communication and connection being important, but virtual relationships with your friends and family has become the nor. You're right. But, you know, Ali and I actually, like, we haven't spent much time in person at all. We actually only know each other through the screen. So there is a way to mindfully just kind of open up your heart and really connect with somebody through a screen. I think it really just takes intentionality. Right. Like when you wake up tomorrow or when you're going about your day today, what's your intention today? Like, what do you actually want to create? Can you take a breath or five or ten and just check in and just say, hmm, what do I actually want today? What do I actually want to go create today with my friends and my family? Or am I just going to be kind of a victim of the day? What do you think about that?

Yeah, I mean, I think the crazy thing is social media, as much as a lot of people want to, like, jump on, vilifying really is allowing us access to people and information. Like, it has never happened in human history. I mean, that's the thing. We are this, like, very slowly changing animal. And stuff is going so fast right now. Of course we're going to have these hiccups where we don't really get what. What that balance should look like. But at the same time, I mean, for sure, me and you, but there's a ton of people. One of the greatest things was, like, last year at Paleo Effects, it was like meeting all these people that I've talked to for years. Like, in the real life, I was like, oh, my God. Hi. What's up? But we really did have a friendship. It wasn't like we didn't have a friendship. We had just talked online And I mean, I think. I think just like any kind of technology, it can be used however you're gonna decide to use it. And it's all. I love that idea that it's all about your intentionality and using the first part of your day, or if you're about to go in a social setting or if you're about to go into dinner to really take some deep breaths and sit with. What do you want to create and what are you gonna bring to that, to that event or to what's happening with your day that you know today? So I think it's all about getting your mind right.

And it's not pseudoscience. I mean, everything I think. And you guys write in, if you believe in this too, you get knowledge. You have the logical brain. You know, it's like activated. Oh, I know what to do. But then doing it is so different. It's like doing the. Doing what we learn is actually where the real learning occurs. It's so easy to, like, get books and listen to audible and do all these things. But at the end of the day, just to wrap up this human connection piece, it's really about just taking inspired action. And keyword is inspired. Like, you don't do it just because you think you should, like, really tap into the emotional piece of it, right? Like, you know, like, why do you care and what do you care about? So. Which is a deeper dive that we talk about so much on the podcast. Let's talk about supplements. Because supplements, obviously they're not the key, but they supplement our lifestyle. They make things, you know, more just more fun as far as, like, emotional connectivity. Because if you're feeling sad from seasonal affective disorder, how are you going to turn and burn to really connect with another human? Shoulder to shoulder? I love rhodiola rosea. I've been taking it for two plus years. I'm curious what you're taking that.

I've never taken that.

It's really good. It's actually like a Siberian bush grown in Russia where they have those crazy.

Oh, I love those camels.

Aren't they fun? I saw in the nature documentary. But then also vitamin D. Vitamin D during the winter is probably the number one thing that goes away. Thaddeus Owen talked about this when we interviewed at Bulletproof, where vitamin D does so many things. It actually helps our bones stay strong. So people that have low vitamin D, that osteoblast, Osteoclast relationship, it just gets destroyed. Your bones won't grow, basically. And your mood, though, I take 10,000 IUs during the winter. 10,000. I like the brand Jaro vitamin D. Now, people are probably like, whoa, that's a lot of IUs. But here's the thing. I really felt it in Chicago. Three days of not being in the sun. I felt like I was in a cave of darkness. Okay. Now, luckily there was human connection there, but I really, I would advise. This is not advice, but I would advise people to look into vitamin D. See if your vitamin D is low. Take a wellness fx. Take an everly. Well, take an inside tracker. Figure out something where you at least get a baseline. Because sometimes ali like people that might have a low vitamin D. It affects so many things. Have you ever experienced this?

Oh, my gosh. I put almost every one of my clients across the board on vitamin D. If they're not on vitamin D, vitamin D and magnesium. I mean, it's so important for mood regulation. And then if I like 5 HTP as well, if you have any kind of like, you feel like you can't stay level, I actually can feel the effects of 5 HTP with vitamin D a lot. So especially during the winter, if you live somewhere where you cannot get out in the sun again, me and Josh are lucky. It's actually mostly sunny during the winter in Austin, so I'm still getting it, but I still supplement with it. I think I only take 500, though.

Danielle talked about the gut and the relationship there. She's right. I mean, if. If we're taking supplements and our gut health is off, well, they're not going to be taken in anyways.

True story. Yeah.

Which, like, I don't want to get too in the weeds on that because that could be like five shows on its own gut health, but definitely look into that as well. Have you played around with the joov light with photobiomodulation or any of these light boxes? This is number five, direct light. If you're in a city and it's black and dark and kind of cold for weeks at a time, you can't get sunlight. Right. Even if you go outside, it's like 10 degrees. It's not going to work. So there are ways to kind of hack this, right? Have you ever played around with this? I'd love to share my joovva experience with you. I do it naked, meditating.

Well, let's start there.

I've been trying it for almost two months now, and I always kind of like struggled in the first part of this year to find just 10 minutes to give to myself, which is so funny. Because I'm teaching the very things that I most need to learn. Right. And so in 10 minutes in the morning, now, since I've gotten joovv, I look forward to it. I wake up, I'm cold, and the joov light is this deep penetrating light. It's photobiomodulation. Say that 20 times fast. Basically what it does is it spins the mitochondria in your cell faster, which is the powerhouse. And so not only does it go in there, but it also cleans up your skin, it cleans up your cell. It's pretty incredible. I noticed this little energy boost before I have my coffee, but I do it naked because I apply it right to the genitals. Yes. The reason I do this is because if you look at Ben Greenfield's work, or if you even look at some of the studies on the juv site, it shows that when you apply that photobiomodulation right to the genitals, and by the way, for women as well, it will improve sexual function. It will improve. Kind of like you're saluting in the morning. Right. And that's a good thing for men because that's an indicator of our general health. So do you play with light boxes? Have you ever done this? Like, put a. Put a bright light on yourself in the morning or during the day?

No, I actually haven't. I'm going to just be real honest. I have never played with a light box. I remember people telling me, though, that you should go lay in a tanning bed. And I was like, I don't feel like this is a good idea. Yeah, but. But I do know that, like, in, you know, a lot of Northern European countries and even the Northeast, they actually have these kind of sun rooms where you go in the winter. And it's, you know, just a big. It's almost like a light sauna. And they sit in the light sauna together. So it's also communal, and it's like a warm room. And it. Then it also has UV light. And so they had. They have these, you know, kind of like. Like tanning beds all over northern Europe that people use. So you buy kind of like a membership. I always found that that would be. That's such an interesting business model, but it's something so needed. Can you imagine? You're, like, living. I mean, even going to see my mom in Albany, New York. And like, during the winter, it is dark from like 4 to 8. I mean, it's like. It's like the weirdest. You're like, where am I? And why is it so dark? And then I think about those people in Alaska. I'm like, I don't know how the hell you do this.

It really jacks with our biology.

But it's interesting because there's been people that have been doing it forever. You know, like that's just part of their rhythm of their lives. You know, people, the Inuits didn't, don't really have a choice. I mean, this is what they do. So I just find that really interesting. And then to, to, to think about as kind of our global warming, you know, global change is happening and, and that it's starting to get warmer and all these things are happening northwise. You wonder how that's then going to change all these patterns that people have had for thousands of years, you know, and mix that in with technology and it's going to be real interesting next few, few decades for sure.

It kind of just makes me want to take a deep breath because every time I think about the changes that are happening on this planet, I realize how important a conversation like this is because this is going to ripple out to, you know, our circle, our group. But then here's the real magic of these conversations. They ripple out to their groups. That's how things get spread. I mean, everything starts with just a conversation. And right now, this conversation of how do you, how do you change your mood, how do you take proactive care of your mood? I can't think of something more powerful during the holidays because if you're not feeling good, you're going to make crappy food choices, you're going to be moody with your husband or your wife, you're going to snap at your kids more. I can't even imagine if you're a parent and you're watching this right now or if you're watching this on the replay, how do you manage your mood, your physical and emotional health during the holidays? Like, what does that look like for you? How do you do that? I know you have kids sometimes that come to your house, right?

We have, yeah, my, my significant other has two boys. And so we have them, you know, on a semi regular basis a few days a week and then every other weekend. So they're here this weekend. And so it really, the interesting thing is coming and dating somebody that already had kind of, you know, older children. You know, they were 7 and 10 when I, when we started dating is you kind of just jump into it. You know, there's no like warm up period. And so it does take some adjustment. You know, I now am Picking people up from school and dropping people off and oh my gosh, I forgot my homework and hold on, get me ready for my guitar performance. And I'm like, I don't. You know, but it's so fun and interesting. But it's one of those things you realize it's all just about being mindful with children, you know, is. It's about real connection. It's what we kind of talked about a little earlier. It's like, how can you create lifestyle? Kind of, I call it like the lifestyle ecosystem where you have built in kind of structure so it's easier to make all of those good choices every single day. And kids love structure. People think that kids hate rules, but actually kids thrive when they have structure. And so creating, we're actually this week talking about we need to create a new bedtime routine with them because it's kind of gotten out of whack. And so we're gonna sit down as a family and take their advice and, you know, all kind of brainstorm together. And that's really what it is. It's. I don't believe in the top down approach to parenting. Your kids are this amazing resource of information and knowledge if you choose to look at them like that. There's a really amazing book called the Conscious Parent that I'll link in the show notes, but it's a great listen. And she's, she's a scientist and she really talks about this kind of meeting kids at their level and realizing that they have as much to teach you as you have to teach them. And, and if you look at it like that, what a difference that can make because they feel heard, they feel understood. It's not this. You're doing it because I'm the adult and you are the child. It is like, let's come up with like, I'm, I'm new to this too. And I tell them that when I mess stuff up, I'm like, listen, you're the first kids I've ever had, so I'm also not good at this. And, and you are the first time being a kid, so you're not going to do it right all the time either. Hooray. You know, like, let's give each other a little space and like work together on trying to, you know, optimize everything we're doing so that we can have so much fun and have a much calmer, you know, more connected relationship and experience together.

Alicia said, moody and snappy. I'm working on improving this. How do you begin that work? Because when we really look at the relating piece. I mean, I think out of our seven today, that's probably the most important thing. Because if that's the intention behind all the other ones, you know, the light, the food, the sleep and all this stuff, if that's, if that's the figurehead, if that's what's cutting the ice through your day, that's your intention, I can't think of something more important. But I'm curious for all the parents out there, or maybe just take us home with this one point. Ali, how do you begin if you start to notice that you're snappy? Like, how do you reset, come back home and come from a place of love instead of frustration or anger or tension?

Well, first off, you check in with yourself and you actually feel your feelings because the likelihood is the reason you're snappy is that you are disconnected from something. You're not. You're not in the present moment. You're either pre consumed with something that's already happened. And so you're kind of, you know, ruminating on that or you're kind of anxiety driven. Something's happening, you're ruminating on that. And so, number one, you know, we just stop, we take deep breaths, and we do this with the kids as well, is like a timeout. Everybody gets timeouts. Like, you get to have all the emotions. And we're going to teach us healthy ways in which to react from those emotions. And guess what? You get to tell your kids, just like you tell them, they get to tell you, maybe it's time for a timeout. And if you feel like you cannot engage with them, just say, hold on a second, I'll be right back. I just need to go take a few deep breaths. This is how you teach emotional intelligence to tiny people. It is all through modeling. Telling kids what to do doesn't do you have to live it. Yes, you have to live it. They are tiny little mirrors of you. And that's another thing they talk about in the book, is that your children are the reflection of everything you love and hate about yourself. And that is the lesson they are here to teach you. And so if you, if there is stuff coming up with your kid, it is about you.

Yeah.

And people don't really want to fully. I find a lot of parents feel like they don't want to take full responsibility for that. But all of that is your stuff coming up. And so can you be, you know, the guiding light in your family as the emotional, intelligent one? Take the time, take some breaths, apologize to your children, be humble. Be like, I did not handle that situation right. Mom's a little stressed and that's what it's about. They need to be able to communicate their emotions to you. But the way they do that is by you saying what's going on with you if you're snappy at them and they don't understand why belonging and self worth is the number one. The number one and two places that kids go is that obviously there's something wrong with me or mom doesn't like me or I'm, I'm frustrating or whatever, or maybe I should be better, you know, and they start to dumb down all those feelings as opposed to being like, you know what? Mom just had a real stressful day stuff. I'm running late. This is happening. I'm just going to go take a few breaths and then I'll come back and we'll, we'll try this again. Man, it really comes from a point of humility and compassion.

One thing I'm thinking about too, as you're describing this, is I'm flashing back to all these memories that I had when I was a kid. And there were moments where I just wanted kind of an explanation. I just wanted to be heard. I just wanted to be seen. Right? That's what this is really all about. And I think we're gonna have to sidebar this one, Ali, because you and.

I, yeah, we could talk rabbit hole.

We could talk about that forever.

We'll do a parent. We'll do a parent one.

Let's do a special one too. And if you're watching this, like, what other topics do you want to hear about? Like, let's dig in. Let's have this conversation. Last two, though. Last two. The. The number six is exercise. Obviously this is one of those things where knowing and then doing are two separate things. So I will tell you this. This is totally transparent. What I do is at very first thing in the morning, I wake up, I do the naked meditation with the Jew. And then I just made the decision. Like, I will go for a 10 minute walk period. No matter how cold it is outside, whatever it is. I've just made myself that promise. And I just do that. I remove the decision and, you know, decision fatigue, this component of decision fatigue, especially during the holidays, yes, it's going to be so much harder for you to actually keep the promise to yourself. But it's so worth it. The payoff is so big. It's so exciting. It's so much more fun to keep the promise to Yourself, because then you win your morning, you win everything else. You just take that 10 minutes to go for your walk and you're probably like, well, Josh, I live in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. It's freaking cold outside. Well, then get on the treadmill, right? I mean, there's always going to be Ali, don't you think, an excuse as to why we can't keep promise to ourselves. It's always there. Do you think any of these people that are on this bleeding edge of physical and emotional intelligence, do you think they want to do everything they do all the time? No, they have to do that. They get to do that because that's who they want to be of service for. And so I think, you know, just keeping that promise to yourself, it doesn't have to be crazy. It doesn't have to be like you going to the gym, you know, digging your car out of the snow and then going and doing like barbell squats. No, all it is is just keeping that promise to yourself.

Yeah. And you know, we've talked about this a few times, but one of my things is like, you know, it's that do you want progress or do you want perfection? You know, it's better for you to work out for 10 minutes in your living room than to not work out at all. That can make or break your whole day completely. And that could be a wall sit, some body weighted squats and some push ups and a plank. There you go, whole body done. If you have a pull up bar, even better. But it's like these very simple things. I was actually talking to my best friend Colette about that this week. She's gotten back on track again and. But she sent me this message and she said, I've noticed that when kind of, because she's a, she's a coach and she's a consultant. And so, you know, it's a cyclical thing. And during the holidays, if anybody is a coach in any way, you realize that stuff completely drops off, you know, for a few weeks and then kind of January is the burst back. But she sent me this message and said, I realize when I'm worried about money and work, you know, the work isn't there where I want it to be. I want a cocoon, I want to eat and sit in front of my television and like put my blanket over my head. And I find it really hard to get my ass to the gym. And so we really work on reprogramming that and that you need to, as soon as you feel those feelings, you just need to change the pattern. So her new pattern is as soon as she starts to. To feel that if she starts feeling overwhelmed about money or worried about work, the first thing she does is put her tennis shoes on. And that's the whole goal right now. So, like, I'm just trying to reprogram you that you're doing something different. And so if you put your tennis shoes on, I said, I don't care if you go walk around the block for a second. One of my favorite things from Tony Robbins is if you can't. If you're trying to change where you are psychologically, change your physiology, it works every time. And people do not give that enough credit.

Yeah.

You know, you can be so pissed and annoyed or angry. I remember being Ken makes me go fishing during the winter, and I'm a big, giant wussy. And he took me out last year, and it was freezing, and so I turned into grumpy pants sitting on the boat, like, I don't. Like, I don't want to be here. And I was, like, being a big, whiny little bitch. And so I was like, well, I'm not going to do this. So I got up and just started working out on the boat. And so I was doing squats and I put a podcast on because he was in the water and I was doing lunges. And by the time he got back, I was like, sunshine and rainbows. I was having so much fun. And I was like, that is the whole shift. Can you change your physiology to change where you are psychologically? And it works. Just figure out where those trigger points are, where you want to go inside. And as soon as you start to feel that go on, can you change that pattern at that moment? And it doesn't have to be a huge change. It can be stand up and stretch. It can be go get a drink of water and do 10 deep breaths. Whatever that little pattern change is, it's that small of a thing that will kind of slowly move you to back. Back into line. I love where we wound up.

Right here. I love where we wound up. Allie. Because this state change, this trigger action response. I think about the work from BJ Fogg. Tiny habits.

I love that.

And you understand that just flossing one tooth once a day can actually make you floss all your teeth very shortly in the future. Same thing with the analogy you made with your friend in her shoes. What's up, Jeff? Jeff Koga, one of my most intelligent friends who's working on his health journey. You know, we actually worked together earlier this year, talking about how do we structure his office environment where he's putting on his athletic clothes, he's got healthy foods around. It's setting yourself up to win. It's literally like putting people in places and things all around you so that when it comes to this point, number six on these seven tips, really just things that you can do to naturally enhance your biology to beat seasonal affective disorder. It's setting your environment up to win. If you're feeling like, oh, my gosh, I can't keep the promise to myself, you can. It's just, can you be proactive? It's like success for that promise keeping starts the night before. I mean, that's really what we're talking about here. It's like, can you set up your physical relationships, your physical office space and everything else just to make you feel excited? Right. Jeff is like, yes, because this is exactly what we talked about. It's like people understand that we have decision fatigue. It's a real thing completely. Let's just take a deep breath and just set ourselves up to win during the day. And I'd love for you to take us home, Ali, because gratitude, when we first interviewed together, you talked about the neurobiology of gratitude and how powerful gratitude can be, not just for our love and our hearts, but also for our physical body. And we referenced Scott Galloway earlier with the kids being, you know, emotionally loved, more powerful than the food they ate. So take us home with this gratitude one. Number seven, gratitude. Practice it. It's a real thing to practice during the holidays.

Oh, it's a real thing to practice every day of your life. I mean, this is the number one. If you can do one thing regarding your health, I think on top of eating, I think on top of working out, because it all starts with the mental game. And that place comes from gratitude. At least it has for me. And the science is just across the board there. What it does to your biological markers, what it does to you physiologically, what it's doing to your brain, like how it actually changes how your brain is wiring, because wire together, fire together. And if you're used to kind of looking and trying to find the negative, guess what? You'll find the negative. Wow. So it works the exact same way with gratitude, you know, and again, this is one of those things. One of my favorite practices is can you tie something that you do every single day that's very positive into this practice? And mine is as soon as my feet hit the floor, I take three deep breaths and I think of Three things I'm grateful for. Period. Every single time. Like, every time I get out of bed, my feet hit the floor. Three big deep breaths. It's the first thing I do even before I get up and go to the bathroom. And so that little shift change, and then I try to do it the same thing. Head hits the pillow. Three things I'm grateful for. It takes no time. And it can be super small things and it can be hugely large things. And also, as you get great, as you get good at this and you're practicing, it is a practice, you will start to see and notice things that you should have been grateful for all along. That, you know, we just get this kind of tunnel vision and don't see the beauty and wonder in every circumstance that is happening, even negative ones. And once you get this used to it, you can start to even be grateful for the challenges that that life is face. That life is kind of throwing you that day because it is allowing you to refine and sharpen your sword. You know, like, that is how we are forged is in the challenges and the hardships. And so can you even be grateful for that? Can you find tiny things every day that you're thankful for? How do you use gratitude practice?

Personally, I make it a point to reach out to three to five people, actually, because, I mean, listen, this. I work from my apartment here in the studio, like, bedroom studio. This is my house. Like, I don't have a lot of human interaction all day long, so I'm aware of that. I know how that could affect my mood and my biology. So I make it a point to physically call people in a dying art form. Not texting my friends, but I'm grateful. And then I feel the gratitude. I kind of like almost like go into my well with a big cup and I scoop up the gratitude. And then I call my friends and I just think about, okay, what do I love about this person? What do I really enjoy about them? And can I. Can I start the conversation with saying, I'm so happy to see you. I'm so happy to talk to you. I'm so happy to connect with you. But it's not bullshit. It's really coming from my stomach and my heart. Do that every single day. Do that every single day, three to five times a day? I promise you. I promise you. You do that, you're not only going to shock them because this is dying art form. They're gonna be like, why are you calling me? What's wrong? I just called to say I love you. I Just called to say how awesome it is to be your friend. I just called to say how great it is that we're working on this project together. Whatever it is. Like, this is your reminder. This is your sign to do that. Ali, I love these conversations with you. This is so fun.

I do, too. And I have to give a big shout out to Josh is that every single time we talk, like, before we start, he seriously spends, like, a minute telling me, like, how thankful he is that we're doing these. And I feel the same way, but it is very rare to hear that from somebody that you work with. And even if even your friends, to be honest with you, you just start to take people for granted. And he is so good at this, like, continuous, like, I just want to thank you again for being a part of it. And it's just to be honest, sometimes it's almost even hard because you're not used to people really being that real with you, like, being that. And I'm like, that is so nice. Gosh, he's so nice. And it's not like, nice bullshit. It's like, kindness, you know? And I feel it. And I know that we both are so appreciative for our chance to kind of share our mission and love to.

Connect with you guys.

Oh, for sure. They're wellness.

This is what it's all about. That's why we're here on this planet, Ali. So thank you. I mean, I totally receive you in that. I feel the same way. And there's a ton more gratitude coming in 2018. We have some incredible guests.

Yes.

Ali and I are pretty soon going to start interviewing people together, so we'll get three people on these Facebook lives, which will be so much fun. And if you're going to be at ces, if you're a technology person, I'll be there moderating a panel called Game Changers. Yeah, the panel is called Game Changers. One of the guests, Dr. Joe Anderson, the chief scientist for level, who was on the podcast, he talked about measurement with breath. He'll be there. But you guys, if you're watching this on the replay, just share, like, three things that you're grateful for. We ended with number seven, gratitude for a reason. And let us know, like, what are you most grateful for? And please, if you want to hear other topics or things that Ali and I can do research on and dig into, just let us know. This is not about anything else than us, the collective. That's what this is all about. And we will talk to you so soon. Ali do we miss anything? Do we miss anything? We look at affecting our. Our mood in a positive way. Beating this sad during the holidays, I think we've.

We hit it out of the park. I mean, just get warm, get in the sunshine, hang out with some friends, take some supplements. You know, maybe stand in front of a light, then run and then say thanks.

Yeah. And if you want to message me, I'll tell you how to do the Naked Jove meditation.

I mean. Yeah, I need to. I don't want to. I mean, we don't need to see that, but I.

It's not going to.

Kind of want to. Is that weir?

Okay, you guys, Josh and Ali, we'll see you on Wednesday.

Or Wednesday back.

Definitely once a week, no matter what. Normal time. But have a great weekend. Do something that is filled with gratitude today. Call somebody you love. We'll talk to you soon.