Josh TrentIdentity Transformation Architect and award winning Host of the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast—a decade-strong show with over 750 episodes and 15M downloads.

Why 'Toughing It Out' is Actually Disconnecting You

4 May 2026 · 1 min

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1:04

In this monologue, the speaker examines contemporary masculinity, highlighting a split between two prevailing attitudes: men who immerse themselves in emotional healing to the point of over-identifying with traditionally feminine traits, and men who adopt a "David Goggins"‑style tough‑it‑out mentality that suppresses feeling. The speaker argues that both extremes are unhealthy and advocates a balanced approach grounded in self‑awareness. By regularly checking in with one’s emotions—recognizing when one is using physical exertion to avoid feeling, or when one is drowning in emotion without processing it—individuals can cultivate a healthier relationship with their inner life. The talk outlines a practical check‑in routine and stresses honesty with oneself as the key to navigating between avoidance and over‑immersion.

Chapters

So like, I'm speaking from the context of a man, right? But I know for me, so many men today are split, really. We either have the men who are so in the quote unquote healing space that they're just way too into their emotions. They've feminized themselves. Yes. But then on the flip side of that, we have a lot of the like David Goggins-esque, like toughen the F up, like where it disconnects you from feeling. Yeah. So I think the balanced approach for me is that like, I know I'm BSing myself if I like am going to work out and I'm avoiding feeling, right? And this is where you have to have the awareness for yourself. And am I imperfect at that? No, I'm not. But everyone has to cultivate their own inner awareness to check in with themselves, do things like that check-in routine that I just shared where you can really sit and be honest with yourself. There are some times where I need to sit and feel something that I know that I've been avoiding feeling, even doing the more David Goggins-esque stuff to avoid feeling. And there are some times where I'm like, nope, I'm swimming in this emotion too much, which oftentimes means I'm really not allowing myself to sit and feel it to completion.