The World's WORST Wedding Guest Experiences | Wedding Planner REACTS

Hi, and welcome to Union Podcast. My name is Jamie Wolfer, and I'm a wedding planner who absolutely loves to share how I got started and scaled my business to above 6 figures in this amazing and occasionally extremely competitive industry. In this podcast, I share the tech, tactics, mindset, and mistakes that got me to where I am today. No gatekeeping, no cloak and dagger, just full disclosure and a little humor along the way. So whether you're a planner or a solopreneur, my goal is for you to be a better business person than I ever could have been and support you on this journey. Let's dive into this week's episode. In order to be effective in the wedding industry, sometimes it's extremely important to know what are the pain points of your audience. Today we're gonna take a listen to one of my most popular YouTube videos in the audio form, 'cause every once in a while it's a good idea to step away from the video and let it hit that brain center a little different with just the audio. Know what I'm saying? So let's take a listen.

Yeah, the wedding is going to be all outside in the middle of July. Of course it's black tie. We're going to the Bahamas for the bachelorette in France for the wedding. We only registered at Tiffany's. I wanted to mix up the seating arrangements so everyone is sitting next to a stranger. The shuttle bus to the ceremony will pick you up at 4 PM sharp. It's like a 2-hour ride. It's not that bad. The dress code is summertime glamour chic. The dress code is coastal grandma garden party. The dress code is cocktail eleganza.

Eleganza. Why do I want to watch it? The wedding

is going to be all outside in the middle of—

I just want to watch it all over again. Listen, y'all, we have lost the plot when it comes to weddings sometimes, okay? Not across the board, but we have to remember that your guests are human. Hi, my name is Jamie Wolfer. I'm your online wedding planner. I'm here to help you plan easy, stress less. By the way, by the— but hold on, I wrote a wedding planning book, okay? It's a book. I just said that, okay? This is really messing with the white balance on my camera. Look at it, look at it. Look at it. It helps you plan your wedding. It has written sections where I'm like your big sister bestie teaching you how to plan your wedding. It has sections that you can fill in. In my opinion, this is the ultimate wedding planning journal because so many wedding planners, um, the journals out there don't give you the reason behind the advice and they just say, here, plan this. This is this percentage. Okay, good luck. Godspeed. Life's rough. Get a helmet. This will actually teach you why you should be making the decisions that you're making and empower you to make ones that fit your budget, fit your overall style, fit what you and your fiancé want, what you and your family are excited about. But it gives you the reasons behind it.

You are left making empowered decisions instead of just filling in the blanks without knowing why you're doing what you're doing.

So I highly recommend checking it out. I'm gonna go ahead and link the Amazon US link right here and the rest of them down in the description box below. I think last I heard, over 100 of you have pre-ordered this, which is so exciting.

I have the lofty goal of hitting 500 pre-orders by my pub date— that's what it's called, it's publishing date— December 15th. Because apparently if you hit 500 orders, that's a way of telling book buyers and publishers and bookstores that this book, the Has got something to it, and so I hope that all the guidance that I've given you guys here over the years leads you to believe that you know I might I might know what I'm doing, and this book might be actually worth it because I certainly think it is. Anyways, let's talk about caring for guests, which is something that I do cover in the book. You have to actually make sure that your guests are enjoying the experience, and we can't just make it all about well it's whatever I want. It's you know it's it's whatever style I want. Yes, you're going to be outside. We talked about this in a recent video having an outdoor black tie wedding in August. That ain't it, sis. That ain't it, okay? You got to read the room, and by the room I mean the weather. Anyways, we found this Reddit thread and it is popping, okay? It says, what's the worst guest mistreatment you've seen at a wedding? Don't worry, um, 4,200 upvotes and 1,200+ comments. I have 2 stories. One wedding was at a beautiful, gorgeous venue in the mountains. Picturesque location. Hotel block was still $450 a night. Stunning ceremony brought me to tears. Then the reception pizza. The little stone-fired mobile oven couldn't keep up. The line took forever. Then once we got the thin crust pizza, it was cold. No other food was served. No open bar. Meanwhile, bride had a videographer and choreographed first dance. Literally felt like we were props at a toddler's dress-up playdate. Hubby and I stopped for tacos afterwards. I have—I take issue with wood-fired pizza companies because they can be so hit and miss. And don't get me wrong, your girl loves the pizza, so I'm not knocking pizzas in general. But you need to know how many people they can serve in a certain. Amount of time. Before my husband and I got married, we attended an event where they had wood-fired pizza, and I will never forget this event because they had little placards out for the different types of pizza that they had or that they were serving, and they would rotate through which pizzas they were making at the time. Well, there were guests that would park and wait for the pizza of their choice to come out because they saw the label and they're like, I want that one. They're like, well, we don't have that one right now. Okay, but I'll wait for it. So the line took forever, and then when they came out, they were very thin, pretty dinky, not a lot of protein for those of us who like to make sure we're consuming a good amount of protein. It It was very unfulfilling, literally. Like, we just left so hungry. And I took this as like, oh my goodness, this is such an important reminder. And then I've worked with another wood-fired pizza company that had 2 ovens going at the same time, and they were cranking the whole time. They had all their doughs ready, everything was prepped, and just was boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. So when you're interviewing caterers, be sure to ask them how long it's going to take for them to serve the food. Ideally, 45 minutes to an hour and 15 minutes from first plate to last plate for your guests. So if you have a higher guest count, it might be a little bit longer of a process. But if you employ a larger catering team or a second pizza oven, that will make it go a lot faster. So this, this for me is— I'm sure they thought they were giving a luxury experience having wood-fired pizzas, especially if they're being made right there. But if the guests leave hungry, that's a problem. I'm only mildly embarrassed to admit that in the beginning I printed out every single piece of paper, every single contract, I took handwritten notes and created a binder for every single one of my wedding planning clients. Now, in theory, that sounds really cool. Uh, and I thought I would look really cool showing up to these meetings with these binders that are full of all of these contracts with handwritten notes. But let me tell you the chaos that ensued when I tried to stay organized on my own and got over 5 events at a time. It was a nightmare. Enter HoneyBook. I am telling you guys, HoneyBook was literally exactly how my brain was processing wedding planning, but just in digital form. It's so easy to go in there and make any sort of customizations that you want, from adjusting your contracts to adjusting your packages, maintaining conversations back and forth that not only pop up in the app on the website, but also in your inbox as well. It's a great way to stay organized. So get out of the paper and get onto the digital. Head to wolferandco.com/hb and use code UNION at checkout to get the best deal. We interrupt this podcast because there is something extremely special that I want to share with you guys. Uh, I don't know about you, but for the last who knows how many years, I have been using a Frankensteined, Googled, copied and pasted contract. And while that is extremely embarrassing to admit to all of our listeners, I know that there are people out there who feel the same as I do. And there were a couple things that kept me from actually getting an attorney drafted contract. Actually, no, there was one thing. It was so expensive and it seemed so out of reach. That's when I learned about Legally Set. You see, Kunbi with Legally Set has created industry-specific contracts for people like you and me working in the wedding industry. They're easy to customize. They're drafted by an actual attorney and not Googled. Can you imagine that? And last but not least, they are so extremely affordable. So if you were like me and maybe using a less than appropriate and/or legal contract, it's time to step up your game. You have no more excuses. Head on over to theunionpodcast.com/legallyset to check them out. Use code UNION for 20% off your contracts. Another wedding was in an industrial warehouse, but it was actually cool slash interesting aesthetic. Ceremony is nice. The bride gets caught on paper runway. Not her fault. Venue was idiotic for that. Oh, I hate the paper runners. They're so stupid. Stupid. Dinner is family-style past beef and salmon, but it ran out. Whatever, bad luck. No open bar. But the couple, the huge wedding party, and select people got neon wristbands signaling to the bartender that they had open bar access. So like 30 out of 150 people have an open bar. Everyone else has to pay. Meanwhile, the bride hired someone to do covers of this— wait, wait, wait, wait, no, start that sentence over again. This is important. Meanwhile, the bride hired someone to do covers of Disney songs on a keyboard. What? Why? Once more, we felt like a prop at a bad dress-up playdate. Would have gladly listened to Spotify playlist if it meant there was enough food and some drink tickets to spare. Sheesh, it blows my mind no one gives a blank about the decor if you aren't giving adequate food to your guests at a minimum. What are your best wedding guest mistreatment stories? Bonus points if the bride and groom obviously prioritize their own desires over their guests' basic needs. If you do not want to be featured in A Reddit thread like this, you have to tend to your guests' basic needs, and they are as follows. Temperature. Okay. Comfort. One might say if it's too hot outside, make sure there's shade, make sure there's ample cool beverages. We had one event where a lot of the water was hidden and it wasn't where it was supposed to be, so we basically ran out of water before the ceremony even started. And it started late because the photographer took the couple on a journey and drove around with them. And so we have guests literally just dying in the Southern California heat, and we ran out of water, at least to our knowledge. And then we ended up finding it later. And it was also a dry wedding, which is, you know, neither here nor there. I mean, you will get a little bit like— actually, I, I say it's neither here nor there because I don't want to hurt people who have dry weddings. It's a difference. People do care. They will care. Now, if you put together a bomb event, you can distract them from that fact. But a lot of people do anticipate having an alcoholic beverage served to them for free at an event. And if you don't like that expectation, that's fine. You don't have to adhere to it. I'm just I'm stating that it exists. I'm stating that it's there. Okay. So we have comfort. Temperature. Make sure it's not too hot. Make sure it's not too cold. If you're going to be an extreme in either direction, you need to accommodate accordingly. Comfort also extends to the ability to use the restroom. You need to have 1 restroom for every 30 to 50 guests. So if you have 200 guests, you need a minimum of 4 toilets. And yeah, sure, it could be a porta-potty in the middle of the woods, but I don't recommend it because that's a little— that's less fun for people. That's less fun, especially if you're all dressed up and feeling fancy. Okay. But if you have guests getting into their vehicle to drive to a local gas station to be able to use the restroom, their attention span battery is going to be draining down super fast. Okay, so if they're hot, they're uncomfortable, there's not enough cold beverages to drink— occasionally that means if there are not alcoholic beverages to drink— and then they have to wait in line to go tinkle, that's just gonna slowly drain that battery. Okay, and it's really hard to ramp that back up and recover from that after you have all those experiences. And then you get to the meal and there's not enough food, whether it's wood-fired pizza and it's really thin and doesn't really fill you up, or it completely runs out before you even get to it, guests are going to leave early. Okay, that battery. And then lastly, entertainment. And this is a category that most people go, what? I don't need to entertain my guests. You need them to be entertained enough. I'm not saying you need a juggler and a comedian at your wedding. 10 out of 10 recommend though. That sounds absolutely hysterical. What I am saying is you need to make sure they are not bored. The opposite of it. Just, just not bored. Okay, so what that means is we need a smooth enough timeline. I highly recommend you check out perfectweddingtimeline.com, and I'm gonna link it up there. Literally puts together the perfect wedding timeline. And no, AI cannot do this for you. This is written by people who have been in the industry. Perfect Wedding Timeline, the algorithm behind this has existed for, I think it's 10 years. It's existed for a long time. So no, I'd like to see ChatGPT or Claude even try to attempt what we have going on at perfectweddingtimeline.com because it ain't gonna happen. It's not gonna have the professional expertise in it. Okay, okay. If you have a well-run timeline and your guests are moving from place to place, from ceremony to cocktail hour, there's plenty of food, there's shade to stand under if you need to, the music is lively in the background, and then they move to the reception space where you have your grand entrance if you so choose to, a couple of dances and a couple of toasts before or after the meal is served. Again, we need to be aware of people's hunger levels. They might not have had a bunch of appetizers during cocktail hour, so we want to make sure they're not waiting too long. We don't want 45 minutes worth Speeches. We don't want 17 dances in a row. We don't need to be doing that. Okay? No, we need to make sure that we are keeping the pacing of the overall event smooth enough that no one goes, how long have we been sitting here? This is taking forever. Do you know we've been sitting here for 43 minutes? Like, you don't want guests looking at their watch. The reason I do what I do is to create events where the passage of time feels seamless. I want no one looking at their watch, no one wondering when's the next part of the event going to start. Like, oh my goodness, I'm so bored. I'm so hungry. This is just blah. I want to create. I want to To curate a guest experience that is memorable, and this is the antithesis of that. They're not being fed well. Beverages are limited. It's the whole wristband thing that actually that actually kind of gets me if it's just for a select few people. It's one thing if you have like a little something that you can like show. It's another thing if you have like a neon green wristlet, like a wristband on to be like, "I get a free drink because I'm with the bride. I'm with the bride, and you're not." So you have to pick. I don't. I don't love that. I don't love that. If we could be a little more secretive about it, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Wristbands, hard pass. Anyways, let's read some of these comments because I'm sure this is not the only, only one. Okay. Travel across country to attend spouse's nephew's wedding 2 days ago. Spent almost $3,000 on travel and gifts. Bride never even acknowledged us. Bride's mother dismissive of me when I told her it was a really nice wedding. Basic common courtesy gene totally absent in that family. Oh, that's hard, especially when you spend so much money to travel. It's so expensive. Traveling is so expensive. OP replies, yep, the couple didn't even acknowledge me or my family at the alcohol wristband wedding. That's what's going to be known for forever. I truly don't know why I spent over $1,000 to be abused. Well, that's a little bit of a stretch, but I do appreciate the laughing emojis. It really softened the whole statement up. Groom hired a celebrity DJ about 12 to 15 years after celebs' heyday. The only food was cut-up veggies. Wait, was this also a conference where you could better your business mindset? Did you sell tickets for this? Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh my gosh, that water! It's too much. It was too much. It was too much. Okay. The groom had somehow talked her family into giving him the money they had earmarked for her sister's college. Sister had decided to work instead of college, but still, the DJ and his entourage slash friends had commandeered all the wine, and there were no toasts. I reconnected with the bride after her divorce. He continued to be selfish, and she left him. Okay, okay. I don't think that this is always, and I don't think wedding choices are indicative of marital health necessarily. I'm sure there can be correlation, but oh, that celebrity DJ one got me. I had a couple hire a sports DJ. I had to have mentioned this before on this channel. I had to have. I know I did. But literally, during the mother of the bride's speech, he played the pew pew pew pew pew sound while she was talking. During the talking. Okay. He also, he also told the couple he was gonna get everybody up and dancing before dinner even began. And I was like, please don't do that. That's a bad idea. 'Cause then I can't get them back to their seats. I can't, I can't do that. He did it. He did it. And he did get people up outta their seats and, and I did not get them back to their seats afterwards. And guess what's happening a little bit further away on the property? The couple is hearing this amazing music and hearing people cheering and dancing and having a great time. And they're distraught because they can't go hang out with their friends and their family that are partying in this moment. And the photographer, I remember her saying this to me, being like, I couldn't get them to— like, I had a really hard time photographing them because they just wanted to be a part of the party and they kept hearing all this fun happening and they weren't a part of it. And I was like, yeah, no, it was a horrible decision. We couldn't get people back to their seats. And guess what we were serving for dinner that night? Wood-fired pizza. And that did not go on time either. Okay. Black tie wedding at a farm with porta-potties. What did we just talk about? Okay. Also, I'll talk about this in the recent video. If you're gonna give a black tie wedding, give a black tie experience. And the porta-potty's not it. It's not it. And I do think that there are really affordable like trailers now. But like, wait, I don't. You can't. You can't. You can't do that. You can't do that. You can, but you shouldn't. You should not do that. If I am in a gown that I had to purchase for hundreds of dollars, or my husband's in a tuxedo— he actually looks great in a tuxedo, to be so for real with you, handsome devil— but, uh, for him to be in a tuxedo and then go to a porta-potty, he'd be like, well, I don't want to touch anything. Probably because we rented it, probably because we didn't buy it. And we can't— you can't sit down in a porta-potty in a tuxedo, especially if it's rented. Well, even if you own it. Oh, okay. Nope, don't do that. You can't afford to feed and have drinks for your guests. You need to scale down. Everyone wants a big fancy wedding. Not everyone can afford one. Some of the nicest weddings are the smaller, more casual ones. I agree. Let's make sure your wedding theme style, the things that you want to have as deliverables for your event, actually match your budget. And if they don't— this honestly, this is where a professional comes in. This is why you absolutely should join me in the Master Plan if you're struggling with planning your event, because you need someone to look at your budget, which I do sometimes on our live calls, and I say that what you're saying, the overall look of your event versus your budget, it's not feasible. So what can we do to take the vibe of what you're trying to create with the money that you have available to make that happen? You're only going to get that from working with someone with experience. So you're going to find tips like that in my book, and you're going to find real-life advice with me in the master plan. You have to make sure your budget and your vision line up. Otherwise, you will end up with really fancy ball gowns and porta-potties, and people will remember your event and for all the wrong reasons. Mine was a wedding I went to last summer. The couple asked that all guests wear black. They were wearing white and wanted to stand out in pictures. Understandable. They then proceeded to get married in the hot afternoon sun. It was pushing 100 degrees Fahrenheit that day. One of the grandmas ended up having a heat stroke and the bride got upset with her for causing a scene. Like, I don't know, maybe you should have moved the ceremony inside. The venue was definitely set up to accommodate it. Having to wear all black just made that sun so much worse, and for the bride to act like it It was the elderly person's fault for passing out was insane. Remember the wood-fired— the one I attended as a guest? That one? What is it with the pizza? What is it with the pizza events? Why do they go off the rails? This is an unfortunate correlation. I'm sorry if you're having wood-fired pizza at your event. Okay. It started 45 minutes late. I'm a guest in this one. Have not planned a wedding, but I will remember this wedding forever. Why? Because a man passed out and fell into my lap. It's a backyard wedding. It's in Laguna Beach. If you know, you know. So it's like one of those where like the backyard like hills up. Okay, so they had the ceremony up here. There was 14 persons on each side. 14 persons. There were so many wedding party members that they had to do 2 rows. 2 rows. And the couple's up there in front of us and they had hay bales for us to sit on. Did they have rugs or blankets over the hay bales? Sure did not. So your booty's getting a good scratching the entire time you're there. And we are waiting and we're waiting and we're waiting and it is 45 minutes past the start time. And a man in front of me— remember, remember the slope? There's a man in front of me. Literally, he's sipping on water. Okay, so like he's aware that he's not, he's not great, or at least maybe he's just hydrating. I don't know. All of a sudden just falls, falls over backwards and we're on, we're at, we're on an incline. I am behind him. So he literally flips over into my lap. You have to make sure that you are accommodating guests' needs and then we can't be mad if somebody passes out. In fact, if somebody passes out, something went wrong. Typically in the overall event. Okay, so this is why I talk about having a good timeline, making sure you're adhering to it, making sure you have plenty of liquids, making sure you're aware. Like, I don't know who ushered us to our seats that day, but maybe we ushered ourselves because we looked at our watches and say, hey, the ceremony should be starting right now. Because I don't think there was a planner or coordinator that day. I don't, I don't think there was at all, which is fine. You don't have to have one to have a good event. I highly recommend it though. I'm biased because it's what I do for a living. But yeah, if a guest passes out at your event, Because it's too hot. That's not a good thing, and it most certainly isn't the guest's fault. My cousin's ceremony was at 1 p.m., 90 minutes away from the reception, which was at 5 p.m. Oh, okay. Yep. I don't. I don't like when couples do this when it's an hour and a half away. It's one thing if you're in the same city and you hit a lot of traffic. It's another thing if you're like, oh no, they're in two completely separate locations. You lose that bat. That battery like drains super fast because then they're working to be a part of your. They're stuck in traffic. They're waiting. They're driving for a long time. An hour and a half between locations. I don't like it at all. My family drove to the bar next to the venue and hung out for hours before heading into the reception. Easily 300+ people and there was a singular 4-foot table with cheese and crackers with a carousel of 16 or so people circling it, tagging in and out to get some food. No, no. So they're just hovering, eating all of it. Salad was served at 7 PM. Okay. The reception started at five. Great. They've been there for hours drinking. Great. Half cup of tomato bisque was served at eight p.m. At nine, a slice of roast beef, three asparagus, and a single yellow baby potato made an adorable appearance. At this point, my dad politely gathered us all into the car and drove us to Wendy's and then home. Okay, kids, we're just we're just follow me. We're just gonna go right on that. Who? No. No menu. All in all, it wasn't terrible food or anything, but after starting our day around noon, this was just a big ask. We left the place starving. I don't even care about open bars. Just for the love of God, please feed your guests. I think some people forget that attendees usually don't have access to quick snacks like the wedding party might. No, no, they don't forget that. They just think that it's going to be enough, or they don't ask the important question of how long is it going to take from first plate to last plate. Okay, we got to ask these questions. We have got to ask these questions. This is so important because you don't want to hire a service that's going to take this long. Or have you worked with a guest count of this magnitude? Can you handle this? And in what time frame? Someone said, after suffering through a few weddings like this, my husband and I now allow enough time to make a fast food stop before the ceremony. I've often wondered what the folks at Burger King thought of us sitting in their establishment in a sequined gown and tuxedo. So I guess they don't get out much. That's funny. If there's one thing I've learned from the sub, it's that you should bring snacks and water to every wedding. A discreet protein bar in your handbag might be the only thing between you and insanity. We cannot let this be the norm, people. An hour and a half drive between wedding locations? That's already insane. Agreed. A group of us were invited to an old uni friend's wedding for the full day. Lovely church ceremony. This is important, okay, because that one wedding that I worked in the UK in, um, gosh, what was that, just outside of Solihull, the couple had evening guests. And I'd never experienced this before where they had guests that were there for the ceremony and then for dinner, and then when they did the room swap, the flip, uh, the shuffle, pick your word, more guests started showing up. And so I looked at the wedding planner who I was working with and I was like, what is happening? She's like, oh, those are the evening guests. And I was like, what is that? What What is it again? What is happening? That explains nothing to me. She goes, oh, here we have guests that will come just for the drinks and dancing afterwards. Okay, so that, that's the context that I have. If I'm wrong or incorrect, please feel free to— I mean, you can correct me in the comments on anything you want to. It's all engagement, so thank you. So they're invited for the whole, the full day. Lovely church ceremony, lovely drinks reception at the county manor— sorry, at a country manor. Then when everyone was called in for the sit-down dinner, our entire group was told we weren't on the list for food and asked to come back in 3 hours For the wedding reception, we ended up getting sandwiches from a local petrol station. So if you're in the UK, is this normal? Because I know sometimes they come after the meal, but they also like miss the ceremony and the and the drink. So like what is this? Is this nor is this normal? What are we doing? You guys see that SNL skit? The guy pretending to be Tucker Carlson. What are we doing? What's going on? That's the rule. That's the goal now. Went to one that had nothing besides dinner rolls for the vegetarian friends who identified themselves in the RSVP. Wasn't a surprise. No alcohol/beverages whatsoever besides water and decaf coffee. Of course. And the reception was in the mother-in-law's yard, but she didn't want guests to use her bathroom, so there were porta-potties. Guests had to park in the church parking lot and walk to the house. Oh, you think that a backyard wedding sounds good. You do. And sometimes it's just— it's not. It's not good. You gosh! Every time I do a backyard wedding consult, if someone is considering using their yard for it, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna give you the the real skinny on this. You need to figure out toilets. If you don't want people inside your home, you need to figure that out. You need to have someone monitoring that no one goes inside your home. You need to make sure you have enough power to supply the porta potty trailer. Not porta potty. I don't know why I said that. Those don't need power. Those are manual. You also need enough power to support lights, the DJ. You need to be aware of parking and having guests park like a mile down the road is not sufficient. If that's the case, you will. You'll need some sort of shuttle service to move people around, and anytime you get shuttling involved, it's crazy. Okay, then who's driving that? Are you borrowing that? Are you renting the vehicle? How many of them do you have running at once? How many guests need to park far away? How many guests can park close? Are you using golf carts? Where are those coming from? Are you renting those? What are we doing? What's going on? Okay, dinner rolls. Okay, the decaf coffee is the part that gets me the most. Okay, at least give us the real stuff. I worked at a mansion that was a fancy summer house turned all-inclusive wedding resort. Hmm. Did it have a playground on it? Perhaps. Did you remove 9 of the beds? Perhaps. I don't know. The couple would pay for the entire property, say $20K for a weekend. Okay. And then could choose how much their guests could pay for rooms, and guest services would collect it at check-in. Interesting. Most couples would ask guests for less than the rate of a hotel room. Many couples absorbed the entire amount and let guests stay for free. To each his own on that. Like, if you want to charge a standard rate and let guests know, if you would like to stay here, it's going to be this amount per night, we have this amount of rooms available, that's fine. I don't think you need to charge less than a hotel room. You can charge the same rate, especially if you're saving them the cost of a hotel room or they get to stay closer. I'm not worried about the amount in that particular— but let's, let's keep reading. But one memorable couple decided to turn a profit on their guests. They asked us to collect more than our rate. Someone got charged $500 for two nights on a pull-out sofa, and the couple had not invited that person to breakfast. Pli goes, "Oof! Now that's tacky." Well, I mean, the guests didn't know. Okay, I don't like it. You know what you should do instead? You should have someone teaching breathwork. Then then you can charge. Then you can charge, especially if you have a Costco platter of vegetables. That wedding will not that it's it's the one where the the couple made six figures off their wedding. They were using it towards towards a cause. I did a whole video on this. If I— you just, you just need to go watch it, okay? But they charged, and then they had like gurus come talk to their guests, and then they like let their followers buy tickets to come to this event. Wedding where the bride and groom ate steak while everyone else had chicken. There were about 40 to 50 guests at 2 long tables. Across from us were 2 old ladies who proceeded to steal every bit of the tableware, including plates and glasses. That's it. They were bitter about that chicken, I tell you what. I don't think— I mean, it's not, it's not a good look. It's not a good look. Chicken obviously is going to be a lot more affordable in many cases, but I, I just, I just, um, the perception, it's not great. Would you be okay with that? Would you be okay with, uh, charging your guests more than the room cost? And would you be okay with eating a fancier meal than what your guests are having? Okay, it's one thing to like reserve a nice bottle of champagne for you and your fiancé, but like it's a whole nother thing to be like, look, we have this luxurious meal and you get— you get chicken and you're gonna like it and you're gonna steal everything apparently. Was talking to a friend over the weekend. Her niece is getting married in a few months, black tie, plus everyone was expected to wear the color black. Guests in quotations are expected to pay $110 each for their meal. The invites did not specify gifts not requested. I told her to take plenty of money for the bar. No way there will be an open bar even. For a short while. This is not it. This is not a gala. This is not a, a, a, a fancy evening where you're collecting money for, um, some sort of charity event or a cause. This is a wedding where you're inviting people to come celebrate alongside of you. So to require everyone to wear all black, black tie— not black tie optional, black tie— um, and then charge them for their meals, and then in addition to that, to not say the gifts weren't expected— that was a lot of negatives. Okay, anyways. It just adds up to— oof, that was tacky. You know, couple got married overlooking a 900-foot gorge in Georgia in July. Small ceremony where about 40 guests gathered at a scenic overlook in the middle of nowhere overlooking the gorge. No seating at all, no water or shade. Bride was 2 hours late, no one could reach her. Groom was present, kept saying she's on her way. Is this perhaps the same wedding? You remember this Reddit thread where the bride was like, am I the a-hole because I have to charge my guests for parking? The parking— free parking was a mile away from where the event Like the ceremony was going to be, and everyone was all up in arms because you would have to pay ten dollars to park closer. Do you remember this one? Oh, it was a good one. But maybe this is someone who went to that wedding. Actually, I don't think it was in Georgia. But and also to be two hours late. Gosh! Remember the battery? You're just sucking the life out of people when you do these kinds of things. No, no, this. At one point, someone left and went to buy bottles of water at Costco or something, so at least we had room temperature water. The ceremony finally happened, and then we all drove somewhere to a pavilion for the reception. Which was fine, but most guests at that point were not in the mood to do anything but eat and leave. Couple still married years later. See, I'm telling you, sometimes the the wedding day choices do not immediately mean where the health and wellness of your marriage. Okay, so let's not make those assumptions. This is real deep channel lore on this one, like saying if you have a cash bar that you're gonna have divorce. Remember that? Who remembers that? Sound off in the comments. This is exactly what I'm talking about. The guests were uncomfortable for too long. There wasn't any entertainment for them. They were bored. They did not have anything to feed them. They didn't have any way to keep cool or any. Shade, and the bride was hours late. This is that— if you want to figure out how to drain that battery super, super fast, do these things. Do these things. If you want your guests to stay until the end of the night, if you want them to enjoy the entirety of your event, then you need to make sure their event is feeding them, making them comfortable, and making them not bored. To be clear, this was nobody's fault but the venue. My grandmother was in a wheelchair for the last 20 years of her life, so our family was very focused on accessibility whenever we were going anywhere or doing anything. When my cousin got married, his now wife's parents hosted the wedding, and My uncle's only request was accessibility. The parents asked the venue about it and they said they had an elevator in the back for deliveries and such. The parents believed them. Oh no. We showed up to the wedding. Ceremony is upstairs, so my aunt goes to push my grandmother to the elevator and I joined because of my mobility issues at the time. We ask a waiter to direct us. He says there's no elevator. We say we were told there is. They bring us to the manager in the kitchen. The manager says, uh, we don't have an elevator, but we do have this. He took us to a dumbwaiter. It was a platform in the middle of the floor with railings on 3 sides, pretty much the exact size of my grandma's wheelchair, with a pulley system to get it up to the next floor. We were appalled. My grandmother's like, well, I guess this is it, wheel me on. And a staff member starts to do it, and then my aunt is like, what the— absolutely not. She wheels her to the big fancy carpeted photo op steps, and the groom's huge athletic brother carries our grandmother up the 50+ stairs. The whole thing delays the ceremony by 30 minutes. My understanding is the venue wasn't open long. Some people think that just starting a venue is a great idea, and it's not. It's not. It's not a great idea. Yeah, that was a jab at the bride from the, the Where the Blank Did I Get Married? Wedding in a barn venue with no listed dress code. Hey, at least it's not black tie required, right? In, in a barn in the middle of August. My husband was in the wedding, so I knew wedding party outfits were quite formal and that that was the tone they were going for, but people showed up in everything from jeans to gowns. Oh It's fun. That was what it was. But the bigger issue was nowhere on the invite or on— or the website did the couple inform people that the ceremony would be outside. And that wasn't intuitive because this was a wedding in Midwest US in November. So many poor women were shivering and freezing. As a cherry on top, it was impossible to get Ubers because the wedding was in a football town and it was a home game day, and the couple didn't organize transport of any kind. That's one of the things that'll fall through the cracks. But you know what doesn't? Telling people your wedding's going to be outside. In the snow. Small wedding at the couple's house with a sit-down meal catered by one of the guests. It was lovely until it was revealed that the guests were expected to clean up, do the dishes, break down tables and chairs, etc., while the couple had their photos taken in the yard. Don't, don't do this. Don't. I'm trying not to yell directly into the mic. Don't do this. If you are good— this is one of my biggest pet peeves of all time. If you are going to have anyone volunteer their services for your event, please give them a detailed list of what they will be doing. Let them know the expectation ahead of time. And I think that Having your guests move chairs from your ceremony to your reception space is one thing, okay? Crowdsourcing the movement of chairs, that's great. Doing a whole flip or shuffle, as in like changing the entire space from a ceremony space into a reception space, that's not— that's not a guest job. Cleaning up, busing, unless you're doing disposable stuff, but even then a lot of your guests aren't going to think about it. So many people are like, oh, but don't worry, my guests will clean up and I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this, baby girl. No, they won't. They're at a wedding. They're not thinking about cleaning. They're not going to assume I will pick up after myself at this event. They're going to assume that it's like the most traditional weddings that they see. That means that there is a catering staff involved, and that the catering staff is going to clean up after them, and they'll just leave stuff because they're expecting a more luxurious event than is planned. There's nothing wrong with that. That's the rule. So stupid. It's just a different type of vibe. But to have them clean up the entire event, I don't. I don't. No, this was the worst wedding reception I've been to, but one of the best days of my life. Okay, weird start, but let's see where this goes. Wedding for the daughter of a family friend, a guy who was absolutely loaded, many houses, always bragging about his money and the bigwigs he hung out with. Oh, what a fun person! So we were quite surprised when the reception was at a local pub. Hey, maybe they're going for juxtaposition. Okay, maybe, maybe that's the vibe. This guy had been going on and on at my own wedding a few years before how his daughter was getting no. So when there wasn't even a dedicated reception room, you just pulled up seats in a pub, we were a bit confused. With British weddings, you usually get a drinks package for guests: drink on arrival, 2 more drinks of wine with dinner, and a glass of bubbly for the toast. No complimentary drinks, just buy your own at the bar. The food was one paper voucher for either a cheap hot dog or burger from a van outside. Okay, nothing on it, just bread and plain dry cheap sausage or cheap frozen burger. No onions, no cheese, no fun at all. The condiment and the condiments were in tiny bowls on the table, but it was raining, so those that didn't have dead wasps were utterly waterlogged. Gross! We went back into the pub and found a few plastic sachets of ketchup to share between the 4 of us. Okay, we got 2 of them. Do you think we can like manage between all of the food to make these 2 packets work? I don't— I don't even like ketchup personally, but if that was my only option, I would— I would figure that out. I would figure that out instead of just dry mouthing that whole thing. No thank you. There was a table in the pub with a plate of 20 very ornate cupcakes which we were told were not for the guests but for the wedding party. Well, at least they splurged on something. Okay, that's where his money went, the 20 cupcakes, but they're not for you. So yeah, everyone's hungry and you-know-what face eating packets of crisps, damp and honestly seeing the funny side, except me who wasn't drinking. And my husband and I got to announce privately Oh, what? Just my mom and dad that our pregnancy had survived the first trimester after many disappointments and they were going to be grandparents. Okay, well, that's sweet. I'll, I'll allow it. It was private, but if, if the bride found out, she might take to Reddit and complain about it. So you wanna, you wanna check yourself just in case. My dad was already pretty drunk and actually kissed my husband in a headlock. So yeah, cracking day. But again, we're seeing a theme here of like people not being fed, they're not being entertained, people are uncomfortable. They're outside in the rain trying to get their food. The condiments aren't even— like, we are seeing it's very basic things that are being missed because people aren't paying attention, because they're not following a wedding plan like this or the master plan that tells them how to plan. So I can help you plan things, okay? They're not following a plan and things fall through the cracks, or they're genuinely just not interested in their guests' needs and taking care of them. This drives me crazy. The ceremony was in someone's backyard. Um, we have toilet problems in the rain. With no access to bathrooms or otherwise. Called it. Did I? Did I not call it? The reception was 50 minutes away at a hall, great, where it was basically a potluck with no beverages, no dancing, and a sheet cake. The bride's family went up to grab food and walked away with multiple plates piled high and probably took two-thirds of what was brought. Most of the guests didn't get to eat. Not the worst, but it was a ranch with two homes for the wedding parties, but guests had to camp. That's fine. Okay. The night before the wedding, I was a bridesmaid. We were in our girls' quarters, and the bride was very strict that we weren't allowed to. Or go mingle with other guests. What? What? No, that's too much. The guys opened a keg and we wanted to go hang out. She was super irritated and let it go for a bit until she got pissed off and said we all had to come in and go to bed. It was super awkward. It's time to go to bed, okay? None of this tomfoolery. We have to look our best tomorrow. People are insane. For the camping aspect, there was so much poison oak everywhere that the only place to put down tents was right next to the horse corral, which smelled so bad. I love horses, but they can be stinky. Agreed. I actually love smell of horses. Uh, I don't know if I'd want to sleep next to it the night before a wedding. It's just like giving juxtaposition in the worst way. Like, here's a really bad smell, now go feel fancy tomorrow. Okay, okay, okay. Not enough restroom access. Why every single time it's not enough food, it's not enough restroom access, and it's a timeline that's not running smoothly? Every time. Have you noticed that? Every time. 2 on a trailer for a lot of people, and the lines got long and they started to get Full. Gross. Reception venue was on a steep angle, so the dance floor was angled and everyone's calves were so sore the next day. And an auntie fell. Food messed up my stomach in the middle of the night and I slept in the car miserable. Okay, maybe it was the worst one. No. Oh, here's another one. I went to a formal wedding inside of an active working barn. The bride was walked down the aisle by 2 goats who stopped to eat the hay bales. Very polly to sit on. What? So the guests were trying— the guests were trying to sit on, then started eating everything because that is what goats do. Can verify, I have 6 myself. This would be Fred if you watch any of my homesteading content. This is 100% Fred. He's the most useless animal on our farm and he's getting into every— he always— it's freaking Fred, which is short for Alfredo, naturally. The entire ceremony kept getting interrupted as the goats— why did you keep them there?— would attempt to devour something. A guest or the bride/groom would try to haul the goats back to stand up at the altar, and then the bigger goat would try to head ram whoever was trying to wrangle it. Wash, rinse, repeat. Reception was punch and chips. No, this is why you don't have your pets involved in your ceremony, okay? Even if you think your dog's gonna be super well behaved, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, okay? Or have them involved in your ceremony and then they gotta go. They can't stay there, they can't stay there, especially if they're goats. To their credit, it was a second marriage for both of them, no registry, and they made it clear they did not expect or want presents. They just wanted people to be there. But those dang goats What is with people playing Disney music at parties and things where people are expected to dance? Do Disney adults think these songs are remotely danceable? I was at a party earlier this summer where a Disney adult put on When Will My Life Begin from Tangled. What a bop! I will die on that hill. And they got mad no one knew what it was and no one was singing along. What's wrong with these people? Okay, maybe I'm not a Disney adult, but like, I have 4 daughters. I know every word to every song in that entire movie and Frozen. Just the first one. The second one's a little outside of their age range. Anyways. On one hand, I've had a home daycare for 2 decades and could sing along to every Disney song, even the lesser-known ones, and do all the voices for I've Got a Dream. Good. As you should. You can't just do it all in one voice. That's unheard of. On the other, I'm aware only my daycare kids are entertained by my bad singing and would not be doing it at a wedding. Well, the poster did say that it was at an event. Anyways. Anyways. The whole moral of this story is you do not want guests to be leaving your event with these stories. Okay? So make sure there's enough potties. Make sure nobody has to leave your reception space to go tinkle. Make sure your ceremony space and cocktail space and reception space actually have toilets. Make sure there's enough food. It doesn't have to be grandiose, but make sure it's warm if it's supposed to be warm, cold if it's supposed to be cold, and has the appropriate condiments to go along with it. Ideally wasp-free. Start on time. Make sure you have a solid timeline that you're operating off of and make sure someone's paying attention to time. Don't be 2 hours late to your own own ceremony. Ideally, don't be longer than 15 minutes late to your own ceremony. 15 minutes we can work with. Anything longer, that starts to feel awkward and people are looking at their watches. If you want an event that will be memorable in the best way, very few things will stick out in your guest's mind. You want to make sure the food is sufficient. You want to make sure it's good. You want to make sure that the drinks are cold. You want to make sure that the lighting is good. You want to make sure they're not sweating, they're not shivering. Just real basic elements here, people. But sometimes you need someone to walk you through this. So again, if you're interested, all of the links for pre-ordering my book are down below. I will walk you through these things to make sure that you are not going to have a wedding that ends up a Reddit thread one day, because enough of us have seen enough of these threads to know that that is not where we want to be, okay? Unless we're commenting, hahaha, that's so funny, I'm glad my wedding was not like that. So that's what we have for today's video, guys. Thank you so much for watching. What is the worst experience that you've had? Please tell me, at a wedding, because this is— it's all a learning opportunity, right? Right. If you like the video, jump on down there, hit the like button, and subscribe to this channel for more tips and tricks for the modern-day bride. And until next week, bye guys! That's all we have for this week's episode, guys. If you enjoyed it, do me a favor: screenshot that episode and share it on socials. Tag me in it. I would love to see Wolfer and Co on Instagram. Let me know if you're enjoying it. You can also let me know if you didn't enjoy it, but I'm probably not going to reshare that one. I hope you guys enjoy this week's episode, and we'll see you in the next one.