Wedding Day Command Center: Timelines, Insurance & What Coordinators Need to Know | Wedding Q&A

Hi, and welcome to Union Podcast.

My name is Jamie Wolfer, and I'm a wedding planner who absolutely loves to share how I got started and scaled my business to above 6 figures in this amazing and occasionally extremely competitive industry. In this podcast, I share the tech, tactics, mindset, and mistakes that got me to where I am today. No gatekeeping, no cloak and dagger, just full disclosure and a little humor along the way. So whether you're a planner or a solopreneur, my goal is for you to be a better business person than I ever could have been and support you on this journey. Let's dive into this week's episode.

What does your day typically look like day of? Where do you start your day? Who do you check on first, et cetera? Ooh, I love this question. Okay. So when I first get there and Rebecca can attest to this, the first thing we do is we try to walkie up almost immediately. Because if you don't get me standing still long enough to put a headset in, to put a walkie on my body, I probably won't have one for like a really, really long time. So first thing that I do is I go over the timeline with the team. We put our walkies on, we find a spot to hide our stuff, ideally under a table or like in a back room or something. Oh, let me know if you don't have the link for Bright.co. I think it's bright.co/wolfer, and I can type it in there if we need it to. Okay, because I think we talked about this last time, and I think I'm the only one that has that. Link. So first things first, let's do a review of the day. And then if there is nothing pressing or nothing urgent that I need to go check in on, I try to find where are the bins of the stuff that we need to set up. The welcome sign, the table numbers, etc. I'm trying to find our home base of things that we absolutely have to accomplish. And then get a feel for what do they leave us? What does this look like? Is it what we discussed in our final details meeting? Is there more here? I've had clients add like 20+ extra signs just because, and they want us to have fun putting them out. And I was like, that's not fun. Don't do that. That's, that's more work. And now I'm stressed and I don't have a spot for all of these. You gave me too much stuff. But you could get surprises like there are stickers still on all of the hurricanes that the candles are going into, but the candles are small enough to show the stickers, or they're on the side. Or you get, oh, this isn't set up. We thought it was going to be. Where the tags are still attached to everything. So that's why I try to look for the things that we need to accomplish first, just in case a client didn't see it or I didn't know to ask that question. Obviously, I got better about asking the questions as time went on. This will be something that you want to be aware of. Okay, check in, go over the timeline if you're working with someone else, which I highly recommend. Put on a walkie if you're wearing them, and then find what you need to set up. Some people, when they get to the venue, they go straight to the couple. They go straight to the bride. You can do that as well if that makes you feel more comfortable. Oftentimes I find that— I shouldn't say oftentimes. Sometimes I find that that's great. Sometimes I'll make that decision based off of where I'm picking up that the bride is emotionally, right? Or as a, hey, just want to check in, let you know I'm here. I'm gonna go take care of this. Depending on the vibe of the couple and depending on whether or not they're there actually on site getting ready. So those are your 2 choices. Walk you up, get everything going, and then either look at all the stuff that you need to set up or go straight to the couple and be like, hey, I just wanna let you know that I'm here, etc. I oftentimes prefer to get something done before going to meet them. Like, hey, I just wanna let you know that we're here. I've already met in with or checked in with the DJ and with the caterer and with the rental company. Everything's going really smoothly. I took a look at the stuff that you left for us. To set up, and it looks great. So I just want to come in and say hi and see how you're doing. Do you need anything? No? Okay. So we're going to go ahead and go back to doing this. So it establishes like, hey, we're— we've already— we've seen everything instead of like, hey, you know, I'm here. Okay.

Did you see the blah, blah, blah?

No. Do you talk to blah, blah, blah? No, I didn't. So that has been my preference historically. So usually I will not check in with a couple simply because, at least not immediately. So because I can take that first 5, maybe 10 minutes to do a couple other things, so at least I have something to report by the time I go see them, because then I'll get a, well, what have you done so far? Have you done any of these things yet? That's a matter of preference, because honestly, you could very easily say, no, I haven't. You were the first person I came to come see. I literally just parked and walked straight in the door to come see you because I want to check in on you first, but I'll go do that stuff next. Neither answer is wrong there.

I'm only mildly embarrassed to admit that in the beginning I printed out every single piece of paper, every single contract. I took handwritten notes and created a binder for every single one of my wedding planning clients. Now, in theory, that sounds really cool, and I thought I would look really cool showing up to these meetings with these binders that are full of all of these contracts with handwritten notes. But let me tell you the chaos that ensued when I tried to stay organized on my own and got over 5 events at a time, it was a nightmare. Enter HoneyBook. I'm telling you guys, HoneyBook was literally exactly how my brain was processing wedding planning, but just in digital form. It's so easy to go in there and make any sort of customizations that you want, from adjusting your contracts to adjusting your packages, maintaining conversations back and forth that not only pop up in the app on the website but also in your inbox as well. It's a great way to stay organized, so get out of the paper and get onto the digital. Head to wolferandco.com/hb and use code UNION at checkout to get the best deal. We interrupt this podcast because there is something extremely special that I want to share with you guys. Uh, I don't know about you, but for the last who knows how many years, I have been using a Frankensteined, Googled, copied and pasted contract. And while that is extremely embarrassing to admit to all of our listeners, I know that there are people out there who feel the same as I do. And there were a couple things that kept me from actually getting an attorney-drafted contract. Actually, no, there was one thing. It was so expensive and it seemed so out of reach. That's when I learned about Legally Set. You see, Kunbi with Legally Set has created industry-specific contracts for people like you and me working in the wedding industry. They're easy to customize. They're drafted by an actual attorney and not Googled. Can you imagine that? And last but not least, they are so extremely affordable. So if you were like me and maybe using a less than appropriate and/or legal contract, it's time to step up your game. You have no more excuses. Head on over to theunionpodcast.com/legallyset to check them out. Use code UNION for 20% off your contracts.

Then it will simply be a matter of Starting to set up the items that we have, checking in with the other vendors, and that's where it kind of goes off to the races. Like once, once we're there and once we start doing the setup, usually not everything is perfect. Usually everything's not set up according to plan, or there's some sort of small little situation we have to handle, or the DJ forgot where they're supposed to be on the table or on the seating chart— not seating chart, the space layout. Those kinds of things. So it's, it's more making ourselves available for all the questions that'll pop up. Probably about— I take all this with a grain of salt because like every wedding there is a little bit of a difference, and every wedding there is like a little bit of flexibility because sometimes you get a mom who's super emotionally needy. and who wants to talk to you for like 10 minutes that you were not anticipating. There was an event where we had an officiant who was officiating for the first time and was really nervous and captured me. Like, literally, I was stuck with him for 45 minutes. I said, I have to go, probably 3 times. I was like, hey, I'm so sorry, I have to go. He's like, okay, no, no, no, can we just— I feel like the arch isn't centered. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I was like, okay, this is— okay, uh, I can help you with this, but then I have to go. I've got things I have to go do. And this is a little earlier in my career when I was not as good about being like, yeah, well, if you want to go ahead and adjust that, that'd be great. And I'll come back later and get my eyes on it. Okay, thanks. Being a little bit more firm with those responses. So you'll find those different things happening, right? You'll find that these different things are starting to occur. But as we're getting closer, closer, closer to kickoff time, closer to ceremony start time, This is when things get, you know, a little bit more crazy, a little bit more like, okay, we've got a couple plates spinning in the air. We need to make sure that the couple is ready to go. We need to make sure that all the wedding party members are there and ready to go. Usually it's just a matter of like, hey, how you doing? You good? Okay, cool. I'm gonna have you guys line up in like 10 minutes. Just wanted to do a check-in with you. While we're also simultaneously keeping track of how many guests we have, which is really hard to do when they're all standing up and milling about. It's really difficult, admittedly. So I will typically send an assistant, say, hey, go do a guest count for me. Tell me how many guests we have. Don't forget to add the wedding party. I, I'm embarrassed to admit there's probably 2 or 3 events where I forgot to add in the wedding party and thought our guest count was way lower than it should have been. And then I was like, oh, it's the wedding, it's the wedding party. They've got like, there's an additional like 15, 20 people that are family members that are gonna walk down the aisle. And wedding party and the couple. And here I am in my head being like, how out of 100 guests we only have like 75? A quarter of the people are missing. Yeah. So don't make that mistake. So if you feel like you've got a pretty good grip on the amount of people that you have and also, oh, and also have the wedding party ready to go, it would be a good idea to go check in with the DJ and the officiant. That 10-minute timer though might feel a little bit tight. Now bear in mind when I said when I'm checking with a couple, the wedding party— I hope this is all making sense. I know this is so much word vomit. Um, I will do that probably 15 to 20 minutes prior to ceremony start time. I will line them up about 10 minutes beforehand in a place that's comfortable. You know, I don't want them lollygagging directly outside the ceremony space, but like I will do a check-in 7 to 10 minutes beforehand of being like, okay, we're gonna get ready and move into this location when it's comfortable and feasible. If it's hot outside, we make adjustments, et cetera. So once I do my 20-minute early check-in with them, that's when I will check, and my assistant is checking the amount of guests that we have. Usually we'll do a count again at about 10 minutes prior. I will be letting the DJ know, hey, we're about 10 minutes out. Hey, it looks like we're about 5 minutes out. Or hey, it looks like we're a little short on the guests. We're gonna push start time by probably 5 minutes or so. Because the venue— the vendor that I need the most aware— vendors that I need the most aware are photo, video, and DJ for ceremony start time. So those are the 3 that I'm communicating with the most for that. Ceremony starts, we get everybody down the aisle. Back it up a little bit. I will actually go through, and before everyone walks down the aisle, I'll give them a once-over. Make sure we don't have any flyaway hairs, no one's got lipstick on their teeth, no one's got one of those annoying little dress straps hanging out of their armpit. That their bouquets look good, check in, that sort of thing. I find that it's really calming and reassuring, and wedding party members seem to like that. If anyone seems miffed or irritated, I'll be like, you look great. Yep, everyone looks good. I'm just gonna have you line up here. While the ceremony is happening, I'm usually trying to stay pretty close if possible, especially if the officiant is new. They've never done this before. They typically go really fast. Really, really, really fast. Very rarely will they go really slow, but usually they'll just kind of speed through it. If they've done it before, or they're a professional at this, then I feel pretty confident in saying, yes, this will take about 20 minutes, or however long it is that we've discussed with the officiant previously. And this is where we are wrapping up any of the last-minute setup. We are making sure all the table numbers are pointed the correct direction, aka the entrance of the reception space. And then checking with caterer, hey, we started on time, just wanna give you the heads up. So we're hoping to end ceremony on time. Or hey, we started 5 minutes late, just wanna give you a heads up for appetizers, for temp, and then cook time for dinner or whatever. 5 minutes late is not that big of a deal, but anything beyond that I would probably note to the caterer. Because if you're like, we started 3 minutes late, they'll be like, I don't care. If it's, we started 15 minutes late, hey, I just want you to be aware of this. Once we finish ceremony, I try to make myself available for the couple as they recess down the aisle. So I'm the one to catch them and get them somewhere else. Like, okay, go over here before someone comes to talk to you. And then I try to give them a minute. Um, I might say something like, hey, do you want it? Do you want a drink or some appetizers before you go out back out there for family photos? Okay, I'll tell everyone to leave you alone. Or, okay, I'll let the wedding party come back in, but I just want to make sure, can I get you a drink real quick? Because these are my clients and it is their wedding day, and I want to make sure that they feel attended to and they're getting their— they're getting their money's worth of those apps. You know what I mean? Sometimes caterers will offer that. Sometimes they won't. Sometimes I'll go get those drinks and apps, or sometimes I'll send an assistant to go ahead and do that. At this point, wedding party, family, couple, they're in photographer's hands. Okay, they're good to go. I'm double-checking everything's ready in the ceremony space, or I'm sorry, reception space. I'm moving anything from ceremony space to reception to get ready for that. Cocktail hour feels a little bit like a kind of a lull. We should have most things set up. If you don't, now's your recovery time to get the rest of it set up. DJ should be shifting over to reception space, etc. And then it's a matter of ushering guests into the reception space. Probably 10 minutes, maybe 15 before grand entrance if you're doing one. It takes an astronomical amount of time to move bodies. There will be people that you will go up to 3, 4 times and be like, hi, I'm so sorry, it's me again, just because they're having a good conversation or sometimes they're irritated with you, to be totally honest. Usually not. And usually I found the trick is to say, Hey, ladies and gentlemen, so we're actually gonna get started on dinner. So if you don't mind, go ahead and take a look at the seating chart. That part's important. Go ahead and take a look at the seating chart right there, find your spot, and then make your way onto the reception space so we can, we can get dinner going.

Sounds good.

Okay, great. Because then it's like, you will be fed if you follow directions. We want to tell them to double-check the seating chart in case they haven't, because we want to make sure that they know where they're going once they get into that room. So I try to keep the language something akin to that. Hey, Guys, we're gonna go ahead and get the reception started. So if you wouldn't mind, take a look at that and make your way onto the reception space so we can get dinner going. Doesn't that sound good? Yeah, that sounds good. And then ideally, people will get moving from one location to the other. You do have to be pretty, pretty clear with that request. Instead of, hi, we're starting the reception. Okay, thank you. You had to tell them to go. Hey, you gotta go. You gotta, you gotta go. You gotta move. Then you line up for grand entrance and proceed to kick off the rest of the evening from there. I prefer to dismiss tables, or if we're doing buffet style, um, for, uh, the weddings that we work, because I prefer the DJ to not be on the microphone if possible. Because if the DJ is making an announcement on the microphone, that means every time he or she picks up the microphone, everyone stops to listen. They want to make sure that their table is— they're not going to miss getting called or dismissed for dinner. So if I can, I'll say, oh, don't worry about it. We'll go ahead and walk around and dismiss tables for dinner. And it's so much more serene. There is a Brazilian steakhouse by us where they like walk around and bring protein to you, like different kinds of protein. And it sounds quite luxurious. It's very disruptive because someone's at your table every 2 minutes. And we went with friends and we were having a really deep conversation about something that's happening with, you know, someone in our lives and, um, and, and their lives and in our lives. And it just— they're dear friends that when we get to catch up, it's just like a cool drink of water.

Yeah.

You know, you just, you lean in and then they'd be like, you want some, you want some pork?

You want some pork? And you're like, okay.

Yeah, I, I do. I sure. I'll take, I'll take some pork. So I use that as an example to say, we wanna keep the mood as serene as possible. We wanna encourage these conversations. These are the kind of nights where no one looks at their watch. You know what I mean? That's what I want. I want that experience for them. So make sure the couple eats first. Make sure photo and video eat as quickly as possible, ideally with the wedding party, because they need to be finished eating by the time the couple is finished eating in case they're doing table visits or so they can be made available for toasts. Sometimes you'll find that caterers do not want to feed photo and video at the same time as the couple. They don't think it's appropriate. They think it's tacky. They don't want to send vendors through before, you know, like family members go through or potentially parents who are paying for this. It's not like I don't understand where the caterer is coming from, but when you have a photographer and videographer team that are supposed to be capturing these moments, this is— this is— that's like a— that's like a big girl wedding planner move to make, to be like, hey, I'm just— I'm just gonna usher them through. Or after family is dismissed, that, you know, parents are dismissed, I'm gonna put them through because we need them to be ready. And then typically the rest of the night is, you know, we got speeches. I'll walk them through Toast givers through where to stand. I hope this is helpful. I hope this is detailed enough. I'll walk the toast givers through where they're going to stand and how to hold the microphone. That part's important. Sometimes the DJ will do this, sometimes they won't. I tell them, think rock star, not ice cream cone, because so many times people will talk over the top of the microphone and the DJ will have to fiddle with the audio to make sure it works. But if you can hold it like this, you know, just a little bit. I'll also tell them to be sure to try not to stand behind the couple. In a location where you can kind of be on their side, or even maybe a little bit in front of them. Be aware of your body as you're talking. Don't turn your back to anyone in the reception if possible. Try to, you know, hug a corner body-wise, and then think rock star. So then you can talk to the couple and then return your attention back to the room should you choose to. And then it's dances, and then it's open dancing, and then you have a little bit of downtime where Honestly, this is the part of the evening where it's kind of easy. It's quite nice where you check in with the ceremony space, make sure you've torn everything down that you need to tear down. And then you reach a point in the evening, everyone's gone through, everyone's out on the dance floor, probably about an hour before the ceremony or reception is over. I might start slowly picking stuff up, never at a table where someone is seated. Ever, and never will I blow out candles until way, way, way later. One way to kill the vibe is start clearing a table while people are sitting there. Don't do that. Don't do that. And also don't blow out candles until way later. We want to give the wax a little bit of time to cool before we put it away, but we can do that at the end of the reception. If we're doing a grand exit, that's something that obviously we'll get everybody lined up for as well. Trying to think of anything else. That feels pretty basic. Give yourself time to unwrap sparklers if they have sparklers, because most of the time couples don't think about that. Sparklers take a long time to light. Always encourage your couples to go for longer-ended sparklers than shorter ones, because the shorter ones, while they're cheaper, it doesn't typically give the photographer enough time to have them go through, or they burn out too quickly.

I did.

I think I did forget to mention warning the caterer before we kick off reception. Yeah, I'll usually give them a heads up, say, hey, we're gonna start sending guests in in the next 5 minutes, so we're still looking to start dinner on time. That was so much of me talking. I'm gonna pause for a sec. Do you have questions as well? Because I know you're in this call and this is literally your wedding in like 3 weeks. I should stop saying that because I don't mean to stress you out.

Um, that was gold. My hand hurts from notes, so thank you so much.

Oh my gosh. I— okay, good.

It's just like, it just like puts everything kind of into perspective because it's like, I mean, I've done this, you know, a lot of times, like friends and family, um, and a bunch of other people, but like, you know, just having all these little tips and things, it's just like, oh my gosh, that's so good. It's so— I'm writing all that down.

Um, good. But yeah, remember, this is recorded so you can come back to it. Don't, don't break a thumb.

Oh, heck yeah. That's right.

Yeah.

Um, quick question about the insurance. So yes, I know, like, I've, I mean, I've listened to like your, all your videos and podcasts and things. So like, should, if they get, if they get insurance, do I need to have it too? Or like, if it, if the vendor, um, the venue contract is just saying that they need it, Does that kind of like let me off the hook, or how does— like, what do you think about that?

Um, I can tell you what I did in this— in this experience. I sometimes, if it wasn't required, I didn't get it. That does leave me unprotected should something happen. Now, did anything ever happen? No. Yeah, but it is not super expensive. It is something you would acquire for like $100, $250. depending on the guest count or whatever with the wedding. So if you're not required to have it, you do not have to have it. And I definitely took advantage of that to save $100 on a couple events for sure in the beginning. I'm now at the point where I have year-long coverage for protection just as is because people are goofy. But so it's more of a decision that you can make if you're not required. That's all we have for this week's episode, guys.

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I hope you guys enjoy this week's episode, and we'll see you in the next one.