From WNBA Strength Coach to Mom Mentor Habits, Mindset & Resilience with Christen Strags

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Welcome to this week's episode of the Working Moms of San Antonio podcast. I am here with our guest Christian Strags. She is a coach, educator, speaker, and former WNBA strength coach. All those things.

Everything. Everything. Yes.

And so I will turn it over to her so that way she can tell us more about her.

Yeah. First of all, I just want to say thank you so much, Erika. I appreciate the opportunity to have a conversation with you and then also share what I learned from my time in the WNBA with your audience. I think that there's so many things that pro athletes do very well. And we look at them in like a nostalgic sense of like, "Oh, wow, they do so many great things. They must be so disciplined." And they are, but there's also a lot of secrets that you can steal from them. And that's part of what I do in my day-to-day now is try to translate those habits and mindset of pro athletes because you don't have to be like one in order to live like one.

Yeah, that sounds awesome. I'm interested in knowing all of those things.

Well, girl, I'm ready to share it today. Spilling all the secrets.

Yeah. Perfect. Um, well, so, you know, briefly before we started recording here, we sort of talked about how, um, these, these athletes that you've trained and, you know, these high achieving individuals, um, that moms and, and working moms specifically maybe have some similar characteristics. Do you wanna talk about that?

Yeah, absolutely. So when I was in the WNBA, I was super blessed. I worked for the San Antonio franchise. And over the course of 7 seasons, I got to work with over 15 WNBA All-Stars, 8 Olympians who represented 5 different countries, and 2 players who were inducted into the Women's Basketball Hall of Fame. So all that to say, I got an up-close look at greatness. But at the same time, I saw players come into the league with talent that bounced out early. It was like they just didn't have the stickiness in order to be able to stay. And I feel like the difference was their habits and mindset. The ones that had the longevity in their careers, The ones that almost outplayed their potential, came into the league, maybe undrafted, made a team, and then all of a sudden, they've got a 10-year career, it was really their habits and mindset that allowed them to have that type of success. It's what I call the separation factor. Because when you get to a certain point, everybody is talented. So then what do you do that allows you to separate from everybody else? So, when I think about moms, moms are very talented. They've got a lot of responsibilities. They've got a lot of things that they juggle. So many moms out there are so successful, but it's like, what would help you separate from the pack and allow yourself to be able to achieve a higher level of greatness, a higher level of success in whatever way you define that for yourself?

Right.

And so, I think that when I think about how the habits and mindset of pro athletes could translate to moms, it's this idea that you've gotta work on taking care of yourself physically and mentally.

Yeah.

When I watch pro athletes, I feel like a lot of them, probably a lot of moms, working moms, do the first 2 types of preparation. But there's 4, and you need the last 2 if you want to be— you want to be great, if you want to excel. When I think about preparation in an athlete sense, I think about your physical work on the court and then your mental work off the court. If I'm playing basketball, for example, I have got to practice my 3-point shot. I've got to be able to make free throws. I've got to be good at that physical part of it. Let's just say I'm in real estate. I've got to understand the housing trends. I've got to know the markets. I've got to know what my buyer wants. And then I've also got to do that from a mental standpoint too. If I'm an athlete, I've got to study film. I've got to know the plays. I need to know what the offensive and defense scouting report of the other team is. And those are things directly correlated to sport. Just like I can do things directly correlated to my business in order to have success. Well, what I found was that the athletes that separated were really good at taking care of themselves off the court as well too, both physically and mentally. So I refer to your habits as the core 5. This is your strength and conditioning, nutrition, hydration, sleep, and mindfulness. And then I think about your mindset as comprising of your confidence, your mental toughness, and your resilience. And if we can get you to adopt all of those, the core 5 and the mindset, then you really put yourself in a position where you can be successful.

I have to say, like, as you were naming those things, I was thinking about how I was deficient in most of those things personally.

Well, and that's okay. And that's what we find a lot of women are. Yeah. Especially when you're looking at it from a lens of how do I show up and be successful, it becomes all of these business things. That I'm checking off. I've got to grow my email list. I've got a network. But it's like, are you filling up your cup enough to be able to show up and be the best version of yourself in all of those different daily to-dos that you have? And it's tough because I feel like sometimes the, you know, fill up your cup before you try to pour out— yeah, I feel like that analogy is a little like outdated or a little overdone. But there is this idea of like, if If I do all of those things, then I put myself in the best possible position to be successful.

Yeah.

And that's all we're asking. Like, none of this stuff is going to promise success. When I stand in front of athletes, I tell them, "I'm not standing here saying that if you eat your broccoli, you're going to be an all-star, but if you consistently take care of yourself well, then you're going to put yourself in the best possible position for success to occur." And honestly, at the end of the day, Erika, that's really all we can ask for.

Yeah.

Is to show up ready, feeling like I did everything that I could do, I did everything in my power to take care of myself, and now I just just let the chips fall where they may. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I feel like so many, I know so many of our listeners, um, probably feel like guilt when they take care of themselves.

Yeah.

Over their families and different things like that.

Sure.

And so I wonder if you have any sort of advice for a mom who's saying like, yeah, I know, like we all know, we know we need to do that stuff.

Sure.

But there's a level of guilt where it's like, okay, but this, like, this person doesn't seem like they're taken care of. Or, you know, what about this? I should be doing this. And so they don't, take care of themselves, really.

Absolutely. I have a peak performance equation that I came up with.

I love an equation.

I love an equation, right? So it's called, uh, it's P2 P². So you have to prioritize and then persevere in order to find peak performance or reach your, your peak potential. So the prioritized part is this: you have to make the best choice out of the two options that are presented to you. Because in every moment I have a choice. In the morning, I can wake up to my alarm and get out of bed, or I can snooze that sucker for 15 minutes and then get up late and be running around. For breakfast, I have a choice. I can either eat breakfast or I can skip it. And those choices continue throughout the course of your day. Like, I love habits, but I still have to decide to do them.

Right.

Right. It's like your kid doesn't like brushing their teeth. But they know they need to brush their teeth and you find a way to get them to do it. But I think sometimes we tend to think that if we develop this habit, it becomes automatic. It's still not automatic.

Yeah. I feel like that's what we hear. Like, it's like, how many days does it take? I don't know. You hear different things. It's like 90 days and you're gonna do this forever. And it's like, I don't feel like that's real.

No, I think you're always constantly choosing what voice or what direction you're going. And it's not even constantly choosing, you are constantly choosing, but also consciously choosing. Choosing. And I think the more we make those unconscious decisions, whether they're autopilot bad for us or autopilot good for us, I think what you've got to do is stop and check in. Hey, am I putting myself in the best possible position to be successful? And yes, the habits help, and yes, the routines help, but sometimes you just have to stop and ask yourself, am I making the best choice available to me right now? So that's the prioritize part. But then the second part of it is that you got to persevere. Because I know that situations aren't going to be ideal. So the persevere part is what's the best that I can do right now?

Yeah.

What's the best that I can give? Can you go to the gym for an hour today? No. But can you still do 30 minutes? Maybe. Can you get to the gym and do 30 minutes?

No.

Could you do 15 minutes at home? Yeah. And I think that developing that sort of what's the best that I can do or what do I have to give in this situation takes away from this idea that our choices are all or nothing.

Yeah.

Because a lot of people do that. They're like, "Oh, well, if I can't do an hour at the gym today, I'm just not going to work out." Yeah.

That was me yesterday.

Yeah.

Literally yesterday. I ate so bad during the morning that I was like, "I'm going to eat bad all day." But that's what ends up happening.

And it's just like, sometimes we don't need perfect. I just need your bare minimum.

Yeah.

I just need your bare minimum. Like, what's one little thing that you can do that's going to move the needle forward?

Right. Yeah.

Did I make a way considering the circumstances? Did I still do something that's gonna push me forward towards my, my goals?

Totally. Yeah. I mean, I love that. It's like giving yourself permission to just do what you can. I mean, re— reasonably do what you can. And I feel like as women, um, and moms, you know, so many of us, I have these conversations at our, at our meetings and things. So many of us are perfectionists.

Yes.

And so it's like, and I am big on like, I wanna be able to like check it off the list. And if I can't fully check it off, then I'm not gonna check it off and then I'm gonna feel bad all day. And you know, it's like a, I feel like it's a vicious cycle that we put ourselves in.

Yeah. Yeah. And I, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I think that we need to redefine mental toughness.

Yeah.

I think that mental toughness is a balance of grit and grace. There's a guy that I follow on social media and every day he posts his workout streak. He's at over 2,000 days. And I just want to be like, dude, that's so much. What, what, what's your wife's streak? Yeah, what's your daughter's streak? Do they even have a streak? Because sometimes as a man, you're afforded the opportunity to take care of yourself. And it just seems like something that's a part of being a guy.

Yeah.

And a lot of times for women, it feels like it's, it's an aside. And I don't even know a whole lot of women who would want to create a 2,000-day streak. No, of working out.

That sounds awful.

It does sound awful, but I think sometimes society positions it as this, like, fit in the box. This is what mental toughness is. This is what it means to, to grit. And don't get me wrong, when I say mental toughness is a balance of grit and grace, you do need some grit. Like, nobody great ever achieved their goals without doing the work, without doing the thing. So you have to make some progress towards what you want to do. But then the other side of it is grace. Not beating yourself up when you don't get it done, or not being upset that it's not perfect.

Right.

Some of the best athletes that I ever worked with, this is crazy, like some of the most competitive ones were the ones who were the quickest to flip the switch after the game was over.

Yeah.

They would go 1,000% in the game, diving for every loose ball, jawing, trash talking, all this and that, but they were the quickest ones in the locker room after the game to start laughing. Start joking around because they didn't carry that stuff with them. And a lot of times for women, it's not that you didn't do the workout or it's not that you ate the candy bar first thing in the morning, it's the guilt and shame that you then carry with you the rest of the day or the rest of the week. And if we could just let that part go and again, look at it from this like, okay, what's the best choice that I can make right now? Maybe you're at Whataburger, maybe it's late night. I like to tell this story in my speeches. I'm like, Look, maybe it's late night, coach stopped the bus after the game, you don't have a choice, Whataburger is the only thing that's open. Nobody is twisting your arm to get the sweet and spicy bacon burger with the Dr Pepper shake, Dr Pepper, and the large fry. Like, no one's twisting your arm to do that. You could still make a good choice at Whataburger, something that's gonna fuel you a little bit better towards performance. Well, a lot of times we're like, "Ah, Whataburger is the only thing that's open," and we just throw the whole plan out the window. Yes. How do we—

Ashley, I'm like, "Yes, I do that." Yes, I am resonating with all this.

Yes, yes, yes. But it's like, how can we look at it from a little bit different lens?

Yeah.

I like to look at my life and think, how often can I get 8 out of 10? Like, when I look at my day, I don't need 10 out of 10. I don't need perfection. But was I 8 out of 10 today?

Yeah.

And you'll have weeks— like last week, my dog was sick. We were at the vet 3 days in a row, got some bad news. Like, those days, not 8 out of 10.

Yeah.

Like, 1 out of 10, 2 out of 10. But I have enough 8 out of 10 days over the course of a month that that stuff doesn't really even Slow me down.

Yeah.

But you've gotta get to 8 outta 10 as often as you can.

Yeah. No, that makes sense. Oh, I, I love this. I feel like, I feel like you're talking just to me.

Perfect. Yeah. I love it. I love it.

And so what do you, like, what advice or what maybe tips can you give like to kind of set these women up for success to get an 8 out of 10, would you say?

Absolutely.

What can we do?

Absolutely. So I think about it in the Core 5 framework, which is the strength and conditioning, which is fitness, right? Strength and conditioning, nutrition, hydration, sleep, and mindfulness. And with that, I give it a 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 format. So in order for you, and I don't mean bare minimum in a bad way, I just mean like, this is the basement, like this is where we start. In order for you to have peak performance as a woman, you need to be lifting, weights at least 2 times a week.

Okay.

You should be eating 4 meals a day, at least 4 times a day, meals that have protein in them. Then we need to have at least 6 glasses of water, which is very arbitrary, I know, but at least 6 times we need to consciously think, like 3 times outside of the meals, I need to stop and drink water and not have something with caffeine or syrups or something in it. I should try to aim for 8 hours of sleep. And then I wanna try to meditate for 10 minutes a day.

Yeah.

And meditate is a very loose term to describe you doing something in which your brain is turned off. You're not intaking any sort of information or conversation, but it's just you and stillness. So 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 2 lifts a week, 4 meals with protein a day, get your 6 glasses of water, 8 hours of sleep, and then 10 minutes of meditation or stillness a day.

Now, what about like the running? I hate the running. But, you know, we've got to be doing that, I guess. How much of that do we need to be doing?

I think as often as you can move a day is great, depending on your schedule. I feel like if you could get really ideally like 20 to 30 minutes of some sort of movement a day, that would be ideal. And there's lots of different parameters to go off of, whether it's 10,000 steps or there's another one that says 8,000. But I think you've got to be shooting towards something, some sort of movement, not only for your physical, but also for your mental, because that could turn into your 10 minutes of meditative time where you're either listening to something that's a guided walk or you're just walking without headphones and you're just having that peace and some of that stillness.

Okay. Well, that doesn't seem that bad. No.

No, but it's just taking that extra step to make sure that you are taking care of yourself so that you can be in a position to succeed.

Yeah.

Not really for anybody else, but I just, I want to feel like when I walk into spaces, I've done almost everything that I can do.

Yeah.

And I know that taking care of myself is a huge component of it. And so it's like, if you— I tell athletes like, hey, guess what? All of these things that we just talked about doing, the strength and conditioning, nutrition, hydration, sleep, and mindfulness, all of these things that are going to make you a really good athlete are also going to make you a really healthy adult too. And give you a very good chance of living a long and healthy life. Yeah. So if I wanna prolong my life and be able to be there through seasons of being a parent or being a grandparent or just being someone without kids in my old age traveling the world, these are some of the things that I have to start doing right now. Yeah. A lot of women don't start doing this until it's, it's too late.

Yeah. Maybe when the kids are older, you know, and you feel like you have more time and that kind of stuff. Yeah, absolutely.

But then again, it's like, what, What can you do to make it fun?

Yeah.

When I was a kid, my parents would have us do a 10-minute family fun run, running around the living room in the pattern of the downstairs. It was like living room, kitchen, dining room, all the way around. It was a big P. But it was them getting some movement, them teaching us the importance of fitness. And I think sometimes women especially do think that it does need to be separate or, oh, I have to get up at 5:00 AM. Why not do some of that stuff with your kids?

Yeah.

Or why not create some sort of space inside of a workout room for them to be playing or doing something and, or on their iPad, whatever. And then give you the opportunity to have that space as well so that you are in a, a better place mentally and physically.

Yeah. No, that's true. I mean, if you can incorporate the kids and it's setting a good example and you know, all of that stuff. Absolutely. You know, especially here, um, well I personally, I homeschool my kids and so they're around all the time.

Yeah.

Um, forever around.

Yeah.

And so, um, but I always say, Hey, you know, I'm, I feel like I'm setting a good example. I have all daughters and so it's like, you know, um, they're seeing mom work and they're seeing like what that looks like. And I love that, but I don't feel like I'm setting a good example maybe in these other ways where it's like, hey, we've gotta, you know, we've gotta rest our brain or we've gotta stop working for a little bit. You know? Absolutely. And, and do all of that. So that's, I mean, it's a good point to involve them and, and they're seeing that and you're setting good examples and what's better?

Yeah. Family walk in the evening. Yeah. Everybody's off their screen.

Yeah.

We're having conversation. Hey, what was the best part of your day? Or what was your rose? What was your thorn? What are you looking forward to? You can deepen some of those connections by doing some of those things.

Yeah, definitely. Um, what do you feel like, I'm curious now about you a little bit. I wanna know.

Sure.

All the things. All right. Um, so when do you feel like you had this big aha moment where it was like, hey, not necessarily these people that are like, that were, you know, a flash in the pan or whatever, that were sort of like these athletes that were maybe expected to do amazing things. Mm-hmm. Like, you know, where do you feel like you saw this correlation and how has that kind of taken you in your business direction as well?

Yeah, absolutely. So when I, uh, when I got into the WNBA, I was watching.

Yeah.

As much as I was training.

Oh, okay.

Because I knew that I had greatness in front of me. In these Olympic athletes and in these all-stars and in these players that were getting all of this recognition. And so, as much as I tried to train them and help them along the way, I also was watching them. Yeah. What are you doing? What are you doing on the road trips? I remember I had one vet who then turned into a coach. She told me, "Chris, when we went on the road, it was a business trip. I was in the bed with my feet up, ordering room service because I was there to work.

Yeah.

She was like, I shouldn't be out partying. I shouldn't be out meeting players from other teams. She's like, I don't understand this generation, but that's another story. She is, she's a bit of an old head, but there, there was a, a good point of it, right? Like, this is your job. We used to tell the players all the time, your body is your moneymaker.

That's true. Yeah.

And I saw players be very dedicated to taking care of their bodies. And then I saw other players who didn't.

Yeah.

Quite frankly. And it's odd because I'm not trying to disparage the WNBA in any way, but there's varying levels of buy-in in sports, just like there's varying levels of buy-in when it comes to parenting or it comes to being an entrepreneur or being a CEO. Like, people have different levels of commitment. And that's not to say that they're good or bad. It just is the reality of what it is.

Yeah.

And I started to realize that when I was in the WNBA, like, if I saw a rookie leave before a vet left, it wasn't going to be long before that rookie was out of the league.

Yeah.

You know, thinking about every day at practice, right? If the rookie was one of the first ones out the door, it's like, ooh, maybe I don't know how much longer you're going to be here because there is a developmental side to being an athlete. There is a work ethic side. There is a consistency side to it. And so I started to notice the ones that were getting all the awards and had been in the league for really long times, were doing all of these things. And then there were others that weren't. And after about like a season or two, they would be bounced out of the league. Yeah, nobody would pick them anymore. They would— their contract would end and they wouldn't get re-signed. And then when the Spurs organization sold the WNBA franchise in San Antonio to Las Vegas, I then transitioned into doing some coaching at Orange Theory. And I started to realize that more of what I would consider like the general sector, not pro athletes, they didn't understand what like the longevity athletes were doing.

Yeah.

They didn't have the same habits and mindset. And, you know, my ignorance of just having been in that world really my whole life post-college, it was like, "Oh, I thought everybody knew these things." Yeah. I thought everybody knew how to pick themselves back up after they've been knocked down. And it was like, oh wait, these people don't know how to do it.

Yeah.

And I thought to myself, man, this is something that I could really help with. It really helped fill this gap. And I don't think society does a great job, especially with women, of teaching you how to get back up after you've been knocked down.

No.

And so as much as it's like the physical stuff, like, hey, take care of your body, a lot of it is like the mental toughness.

Yes.

And the resilience. And not looking at mental toughness as this like, ugh, military, masculine kind of thing, but like mental toughness is I'm being mentally tough when I give myself grace.

Yes.

It's much easier to continue to pile on yourself. It's much tougher to be like, "Hey, I didn't do great today, but I'm gonna get back on the horse tomorrow." Like, that's true toughness is getting back up after you've been knocked down. It's taking that belief in yourself. It's taking the 11th shot after you've missed it the 10 previous times. It's going for that 11th interview after you haven't gotten the job 10 times. And so it became for me, how do I help women not only understand like, hey, you got to take care of your body so that we can show up and be able to perform, but you also need the habits and the mindset to develop the resiliency and the confidence and have the mental toughness to live out here in this big, scary, hard world.

Yeah, no, that's super interesting. I mean, I guess I never really thought about like the different, like mental things that like a pro athlete would, would naturally learn because you have great coaches and you have people like teaching you this to perform in this optimum way. Um, and yeah, you're right. Like regular society doesn't have that stuff, you know? And so yeah, that's kind of nuts. Like we should all know all of that stuff.

Absolutely. Absolutely. There's a, a story that I like to tell. We had an athlete who had came to our training camp. So not on the team yet, but on a training camp contract, essentially at the tryout to try to make the team. She plays great. She's a 3-point shooter. She's knocking down all these shots. In private coaches' meetings, we're having these conversations, hey, so-and-so's going to make the team.

Yeah.

She's performed well enough in this training camp. The day before we had to turn in the final rosters for the season to start, our starting post player got hurt. We don't know how long she's going to be out now. "what does that mean? We have to keep another post player on the roster to fill her spot." Guess who gets left out?

Oh.

The guard who had played really well. And so that for me is a prime example of the story that you tell yourself. Because she could have gotten that news that she didn't make the team and thought, "I'm not good enough. They don't want me." Yeah. "I can't play in this league. I'm not enough. I suck." Instead of the reality of the story, which was that, she would have made the team had that post player not gotten hurt. But sometimes we don't tell ourselves the whole story. We get like a little piece. We're like that friend that calls and tells you something, and you're getting madder and madder, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then at the very end, they say something, you're like, wait, hold on a second, hold on a second. And that one detail changes everything. Yeah, we do that a lot with ourselves. We leave out big chunks of story.

Yeah.

And so I like to say, like, when you get caught in situations like that, you got to ask yourself Am I telling myself the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth?

Yeah.

Because I could very easily be leaving some stuff out. And if I haven't been in sports or I haven't been in situations where I've learned how to develop that muscle, of course I'm going to see not getting the job or not getting the position as like the end of the world and a reflection of me. But it isn't always.

Yeah. No, that's so true. I've got a daughter right now that's playing volleyball. It's her first. She's 13. It's her first time playing like, like on a competitive level.

Sure.

You know, when I was younger I played soccer, I played select soccer. Like it got, I mean it got competitive. I played for, I don't know, 10 years or something like that. And like they're making 'em do stuff like watch tape, you know? And I'm like, this is normal stuff. Like this is what you do. And she's all pissed off cuz you know, they're telling him write down all the things that are, that you did wrong. And, and she tells me the story to wind me up just like what you said. She goes, mom, The coaches said, we've gotta watch tape and we've gotta write down all the mistakes we made. Then I get a text from the coach that said, we gave 'em a little bit of homework.

Yeah.

You know, they need to watch the tape and they need to do this, write down some things they could improve on and the things they did well. Hmm. Well, my daughter didn't tell me that part of the story.

That part of the story. Yeah.

And so I was getting all mad. I was like, that seems so negative, you know, whatever. Yeah. And of course, like, I just didn't hear the whole thing. And so to your point, like, right, you need all of the information. And if we're not giving that to ourselves, what do we do? You know? Yeah.

Yeah. Because the truth is, you know, when I think about that, that statement, I call it the truth meter. Am I telling myself the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Part of it is like, is this a whole story?

Yeah.

Am I leaving something out?

Yeah.

And could I potentially be embellishing something? And I think I, I go back to some Brené Brown work. Where she has a story she told about with her husband in the water. And she started telling— she looked at him and she said, the story that I'm telling myself is— and he was like, no, that's not what was happening at all. And I think that that's great for thinking about communication with other people. But I think you got to turn that inwards sometimes too. Is the reason I'm not getting any speaking gigs because no one likes me and I'm a terrible speaker? Or have I not pitched enough? Or have I not got my name out in the community enough? Does my draft email, like my pitch email, does that need to be refined? But we're so quick to jump to one thing. I mean, our brain likes conclusions, I get that. But we've gotta sometimes stop and study and say, hey, is this the right conclusion based on all the evidence that I have? I remember a while ago, I was working with this volleyball girl on her mindset, and she was like, I'm not getting playing time, I'm not getting playing time, the coach doesn't like me. Turns out the coach just wanted to play a different offense.

Yeah.

And she didn't need that particular player and her skillset in that offense. And it's like, it, okay, so it's not you. So now we don't have to take it so personal and now we can just continue to focus on you getting better so that you do fit into that offense.

Yeah.

And you do have that specific skillset that she needs.

Yeah. I feel like so often it's like the natural response to, and it's normal, but like, it couldn't possibly be anything that I'm doing or not doing.

Absolutely.

So I'm gonna look out here and see why, like, why aren't I getting the thing that I want? Well, it's all of this.

Absolutely. Absolutely. But I think that as, as a high-functioning adult in society, you've got to, one, be able to take accountability.

Yeah.

And two, you've also got to understand that your mindset is the lens through which you view the world. And if I have a fixed mindset, well, a lot of that stuff is outward or unchangeable. But if I have a growth mindset, it's approaching it more with a curiosity. Of how can I reframe this? How can I look at this differently? What's the big picture? If I just keep going a little bit more, will I then get what I want? Because a lot of people quit too soon and they don't realize that it's not that they're not good at it, it's just that it hasn't been long enough yet.

That's true. Yeah. There's like time that has to take place. I mean, there are probably people, and I know there are, that are just good at something straight away and, you know, Damn those people.

Yeah. For the rest of us.

But normal people, they need some time to get these things in order and all of that to be really, really good at something. So.

Yeah. I have a key to mental toughness. Sometimes I call it the key to resilience. Switches all the time.

Yeah.

But it's the K-E-Y is the most important part. And so the K stands for keep going, E eyes up, Y you matter. So when I think about the K keep going, we talked about that a little bit. It's like the only way that you truly lose is if you You've got to stay in the game. Like, you've got to find a way to persist despite obstacles. And unfortunately, right now, we live in a world where people want microwave results.

Yes.

And a lot of times, you got to put your dreams in the Crock-Pot.

Yeah.

And you got to let those things simmer. A lot of times, people pull it out too early. Oh, it's not ready. And then they just throw the whole thing away.

Yeah.

And so you've got to find a way to keep going. The eyes up is an ode to learn how to play basketball as a little kid. You're dribbling.

You're looking around. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And they're yelling at you like, eyes up, eyes up. You can't see anything. And it's like, That is true. If my head is down, I can't see the big picture.

Yeah.

And I can't see the whole story. I can't reframe things for my good. And then the last one, the why you matter. Your dreams and goals are important.

Yeah.

And all too often people let someone else's opinion or someone else's failed journey dictate what their own story becomes.

Yeah.

And so I always preach to people like, your goals and your dreams matter. And also, aside from that, like, you matter aside from the roles that you play. Like, if you're an athlete, you are more than your sport.

Yeah.

If you are a mom, you are more than just a mom, right? You are a female first and foremost. And so it's like, how do you find a way to separate who you are from what you do?

Yeah.

Because a lot of times we judge ourselves based on our performance in what we're doing. And if I'm an athlete, like if I'm getting playing time, if I'm making the shots, my mental health is super great. And if I'm not doing well at those things, then my mental health goes in the gutter. Same thing for people who work, working moms, entrepreneurs. You know, business is going well, if I'm selling houses, I feel great. And if it's not, then it's like my world shatters. How do we separate that? How do you find a way to be more even-keeled throughout your journey? Because I think that it's so important. You can't let other people and external circumstances always dictate how you feel inside. Yeah.

I mean, as moms, I feel like so much of our identity gets wrapped up into that, that sometimes you even lose who you are as a person. Mm-hmm. You know, I was having that conversation with a friend of mine the other day where it was like, you know, I've got so much work going on and the kids and the volleyball and all the things.

Yeah.

Volleyball's taken over my whole life. I'm sure. It's a lot.

I'm sure.

And so we're like having conversations about that. And I was like, I told her kind of as a joke, I was like, I used to be cool, man. I used to like listen to music and I had hobbies and I was like a whole person. And it's like, where's that person? And so I feel like that's, I mean, it's so true. You know, we need to learn to separate things. Like, you know, you're, you're not just a mom, you're not just a business owner, you're not just, whether it's good or bad, like you're people.

You're people. And, and you've got, I think, a real opportunity, some to make some changes and make some shifts. Not complete 180s.

Sure.

But little bit at a time. You know, again, going back to that prioritize and persevere, like Okay, my kid wants me right now. Like, what's the best thing that I can do? Well, maybe it's to give them like 30 minutes and then say, okay, go be bored for a little while. Figure it out on your own because mom's going to go do this. And is it an hour-long workout at the gym?

No.

But is it a 15-minute workout routine that you found on YouTube? Yeah, sure.

Yeah, why not?

Or, hey, we're going to do 30 minutes and then I'm going to work out and you're welcome to come and work out with me. Or if you want to go be bored, or figure out something to do on your own, you can. But I think it's finding ways to draw boundaries in a way that makes sense to you.

Yeah.

Like, I can't sit here and say that this is the right way in any sort of capacity. I think that we all want someone to just hand us a sheet and say, here, this is exactly how you do it.

But I would love that.

Girl, I would love that too. I would love that too. But I think it is like drawing from what other people say works for them trying it out for you, taking the parts that are applicable and then dishing the rest and leaving that guilt and shame behind of, oh, I can't do it exactly like they did it. Well, you're different. Your journey is going to be different. And the way that you want to show up in the world might be different. You know, going back to that guy, that 2,000-day workout streak might be the most important thing to him.

Well, that does seem like it.

Yeah, sure does. But if that's not the most important thing to you, then what could you do that still makes you feel good in the same way that makes him feel good? Right. But it doesn't have to be the same thing. And it's trying to stop doing things so cookie cutter and taking the time to be curious and figure out, hey, what feels good for me in this moment? Or what's the best that I can do given the circumstances at this point in time? It gives a lot more room for flexibility and ambiguity, which I get not everybody wants, but I think that's the true path to your own level of success and your own level of greatness. Cause I could say, here's what it takes to be great as a pro athlete, and then you get to decide here's what it takes to be great as a mom based on your own individual definition. Yeah.

I think probably deep down we all do want that flexibility and ambiguity, but, but it's about giving ourselves permission to like allow that into our lives. I feel like, you know, yeah, it's just all about giving yourself permission to not complete. Maybe you don't finish all the way, but you do most of it, or kind of just like what you said.

Yeah.

Um, 8 outta 10. Yeah.

9, 10 outta 10.

I'm gonna think of that now.

Outta 10. Yes. I love that.

Um, do you feel like when you were, um, with the WNBA, do you feel like from between then and now, like your definition of success has changed or do you feel like it's kind of the same?

I still feel like it's the same.

Yeah.

Because I think that you can chase greatness in whatever arena you are in.

Yeah.

And I think the more you are curious and the more that you push your own boundaries, but also give yourself grace— for me, like, as long as you're on the path to chasing your potential, to me that's greatness. And I think that everybody has a chance to to do that.

Yeah.

But it just takes a little bit of deviating from the norm or deviating from the cookie cutter to figure out what works for you, what you're able and willing to implement. My favorite quote is by a guy named Tim Ferriss. He says, "The decent plan that you follow is better than the perfect plan that you quit." Yeah. And that has stuck with me. It's like, yes, the perfect plan might be eating plain chicken breast with broccoli and white rice every meal of the day, but am I going to consistently do that?

No.

So then what's the decent plan that you will follow?

Yeah.

What is the decent plan that you will do? You know, can we get you to 4, 6, 8, 10? Like, can we get there? Or could we start with 2 lifting workouts a week for your body's health and your longevity and your muscles and your joints and all of that? Like, can we at least start with 2 and then we try to build on as we go? But it's like finding what is that, what is that level of decent? What is that level of good enough that we can embrace and not be so paralyzed by chasing perfection?

Yeah, that's good advice. Good advice we should all take. Yes. Well, this has been great. I feel like it's been so motivational and that's kind of your main deal. So yeah.

Awesome. Thank you.

I love it. Yes. And so towards the end, we typically will ask our guests to share with our listeners how they can. Either follow them or get ahold of them or just learn more about them?

Yeah, absolutely. So my website is christianstrags.com. It's C-H-R-I-S-T-E-N, and then strags, S-T-R-A-G-S, dot com. And then that is the same handle on both Instagram and TikTok. So Christian Strags on both.

Perfect. Well, we'll put that in the show notes as well. So people can just click and make it really easy. And thank you so much for being on.

This has been so good. Thank you so much for having me, Erika. I really appreciate the opportunity to share with your audience. And I hope that women listening can hear something that resonates with them that can help them on their path to greatness.

Yes, definitely. I'm sure they will. And just really quickly, I'll thank our listeners for tuning into this week's episode, and we'll catch you guys next time. Thanks so much for tuning in to this episode of the Working Moms of San Antonio podcast. We hope you loved today's chat and found a little inspiration to take with you into your week. If you have a podcast topic suggestion or a question you'd love for us to cover, definitely send us an email at hello@workingmomsofsanantonio.com. We'd love to hear from you. And until next time, see you in the community.