The Boss As A Bad Guy: The Inner Workings of Being a Boss as Told by Monica Coleman

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Without fuel. Am I out of fuel? Wake up, wake up.

And we're back with another episode of you, Money with Ty and yo, yo, I'm yo, that's my man, Ty. And we have a special guest with us today, Ms. Monica Conan.

Good morning and thank you guys for having me today.

Monica, can you please tell them where we are?

We are at Stanley's Cigar Lounge. Stanley's Cigar Lounge was opened in September 2021 in the city of south Fulton, which is right outside of Atlanta, Georgia.

South side.

Exactly. Stanley is actually my grandfather. He was the first entrepreneur in my family, so I named this place after him just to pay homage and respect to my lineage and my legacy in my family of entrepreneurship. So we offer premium cigars. We offer a great drink selection, some creative drinks and some classics. We have live music. We offer food. So we really try to give people a complete experience that come here to enjoy them cigar, enjoy their cigars, enjoy themselves. Just kind of pull away from the bustle and hustle of every day.

Slow down.

Yeah, that's these make you stop for a second. It's just kind of like you can't smoke a cigar. Razzle dazzle no more.

Correct.

You need to just sit down, enjoy a stick, have a conversation with somebody, meet a new person. And the beauty of cigars is you could literally smoke a different cigar every day of the year. Right. If you made that your goal. There are enough types of cigars, brands of cigars that you don't ever have to smoke the same thing twice unless you want to.

So funny story. I'm in Miami at a cigar lounge. I'm with my boy Stan, with my girl and her friend.

Her friend.

I found out in that moment that she loves cigars. I ain't like, she's like this slim, like, New Yorker. She does not look like a cigar smoker.

Pause. What does a cigar smoker look like? I want to hear this.

Well, she didn't look like a woman.

Do I look like a cigar smoker?

You look like you would probably take the pleasure in a cigar. Like you have a certain. It feels like cigar smokers have a certain maturity about it.

Okay.

This young lady was like, looked super youthful, like really playful.

She didn't. He said I look old and tired.

Oh no. But you're seeing.

He said I look old and tired.

I'm not touching it.

And I smoke cigars. I'm not as the old cigar.

But the funny thing about this is why this story is going to be interesting. She ordered a chocolate cigar. I had no clue that there were chocolate cigars. Then it made absolutely sense why she smoked cigars because she only smoked that.

Chocolate, that chocolate cigar. It's interesting because you have people who are more traditional smokers that hate flavored cigars. I don't smoke flavor, but a lot of people who enjoy cigars, they hate that. There are, there's one groovy blue that tastes like blueberry and then you got cherry chocolate cognac. But the, that the majority of smokers are new smokers, casual smokers, like people who are just being introduced to the lifestyle. Then you have people who just like cigar lifestyle and so they're going to be more likely to try, you know, like a flavor.

I just, I didn't even know we have in.

Our industry in some ways is under attack from the government and FDA because of flavored cigars and the notion of marketing those supposedly to younger people, which is not happening. So we have a trade organization called the Premium Cigar association that fights on our behalf and lobbies for our industry. Right. So I'm part of that. And so there's a big challenge now with flavor cigars and how it may appeal to teenagers, which I'm like, Nobody's walking into 11th grade with a cigar.

Let me get this straight. They can put these very beautiful looking white women with cigarettes that is literally marketed towards the youth, but if you put a chocolate cigar in there, they call it a law.

Yeah.

That'S exactly.

And it's. People don't realize how highly regulated this like I can't do boosted ads on social media because it's tobacco really. So I can't boost, post or advertise on any of the platforms because of that. I can't do text like promotions through my point of sale system because of that. So there are a lot of things that are challenges, you know, in a highly regulated industry like this that people don't even know exist, even with like.

The digital social media space that's newer than cigars. But even that you're not able to navigate around.

Nope. If I try to boost a post, it's like, no, this has promotion of tobacco even though I'm just saying, hey, come see a live band. Like, nope, it's tobacco involved.

Come watch football.

Nope.

So we want to get into this concept for you. Two concepts. One concept is the fuck you money and what that means to you.

Right.

And then the second concept is, how does being a black woman in this industry, what has been the pros and the cons, what type of support have you gotten that you can actually speak towards and that can be duplicated for other black women that might want to get into similar industries. Right? And then we'll finish the conversation off with like, speaking about business and is it personal?

Right. Okay.

But let's start with fuck you, money. When you hear fuck you, money, what.

Comes to mind to me that is when you have enough resources and capital to live life on your terms. I'm assuming that's what you guys mean by that, or I mean you ride on the money. Yeah. When you have reached a point of comfort with your business, who you are and financially, that you get to choose what you align with, what you don't, how you spend your time, what you invest energy in. I was telling somebody, certain resources in this world are infinite. We have an infinite amount of love that you can give to anybody. You don't have an infinite amount of time. You don't. Time is limited, you know, And I think the older you get, you start to understand that more and you start to really think about, okay, am I really doing what I want to do and how do I position myself for that? So the biggest thing I can say that the season that I'm in, when it comes to getting to the fucking money point is positioning, right? Like, what am I doing to position myself not just for now, but five years from now? And as entrepreneurs, that's kind of scary because you have no idea. You know, when you run a business like this that's consumer driven, the economy impacts it, holidays impact it, rain impacts it, emotions impact. You know, there's so many factors that are outside of your control that you can't always bank on. Right. I think the big, biggest fucking money opportunities right now are in fields that require intuitive thinking that AI can't do that, require actual physical labor, that require snap decision making that AI and technology is years away from and understanding how you integrate into those things, because there are going to be so many industries that are going, AI, computer, that it just is what it is. So how do you create a lane for yourself and create that. That opportunity? So positioning is the key and thinking about not just this moment, Right. But what does my moment look like five years from now? And that's. It's scary.

I got. Recently I was doing this unconsciously, but recently I read somewhere or somebody told me that they lived their lives in decades. And it really, like, resonated with me because I was like, man, when you thinking about it in that way, they're like, I live my life in decades and I break down, I take a decade, then I break it down. Right. And it's the same thing that you're speaking about when it's like, you know, you do a five year plan and you're planning five years. From a business perspective when they tell you most businesses, small businesses, do not survive after three years. And like, you're hearing all of these negative, you know, statistics that really directly you think about, like, man, and I'm a black woman doing a business that started to reduce it even more.

You experience it, you see it, so you hear it, you understand it. You know, when I hear people talk about other businesses like, oh, I can't believe they. Without a business, I'm like, well, hell, I can. Because I, you know, I know how challenging it is. And even people who don't have a brick and mortar. Right, right. You know, like having a building, it's a whole different ball game than like, oh, I'm a boss from my house. No, like, I'm like, do you have no shade?

No shade.

No shade. But it's your boss from the house. But when you have cam fees, y rent code enforcement, you have the fire marshals, the police, H VAC problems, you know, plumbing, when you have those things to also. All that. Yeah, all that. All of those things. Food service, permit. So, you know, because you have a business, anytime the. The people can roll up on you and just take a look around and see that shit is a lot. So it's. It's a lot.

Can I jump in real fast? You started Stanley's in 2021 when it was still pandemicy. That's what I'm saying.

Pandemicy. Very pandemicy.

Were you worried about your position at that time or how you positioning yourself?

Yes, I was worried about. Because we saw that, you know, Covid came like a bat out of hell and businesses like this were shutting down because they had no choice. You know, they weren't making the money. The government had regulations on who could come in, who could go out. So when I was opening, it was still risky because we still hadn't completely figured the whole Covid thing out. So, you know, I had to think about, okay, what happens in three months? And that December, I opened in September, and that December, there was, like, a new variant, the quick one that lived in your nose and felt. So all of a sudden, yeah, it was, like, weird. Like, it was like, now you got Covid. You got Covid. So that happened, like, three months after I opened. And so I had staff sick. I had seven masks on because I'm interacting with people. You know, I had customers that. We had a New Year's Eve party. It wasn't well attended because half people had gotten Covid. So I had invested money in the pan and this and that, and people had bought tickets, and they couldn't come because they were sick. So it did have. You know, when that happened, I was kind of like, okay, how do we really, you know, manage this? And the only thing that helped, thank God, was that people were so tired of being home. They were like, I'm gonna just risk it all. I'm like, all right. So I had people coming in, though, every other day, and they would do, like, a sanitation. So I was trying to do my part to make sure that I was protecting my customers. My staff was free to wear masks if that's what they felt more comfortable doing. So, you know, as a business owner, I tried to do my part, but it was definitely even my grand opening. I still have somebody mad at me right now almost three years later, because. So my agreement with the city about having a big grand opening was I had to do it in, like. Like two shifts, if you will, per day. So it was, like, one group of people could come from, like, 6 to 10, and then the other ones become at night. So because of that, I had to have a list. Right. For people to know, okay, this is your time. And between events, we had to clear it out, wipe everything down. So this guy is still like, well, yeah, I don't go there because when I came for the grand opening, they said I couldn't get in, and I was. So I don't go there no more, bruh. Like, I didn't want to do it that way, but that was the. I had to figure out a way to do it where it was comfortable, where the city wouldn't think I was having a super spreader event.

Yeah.

So. But that's, you know, again, one of those things that impacts business is someone's thought process without having the information and taking something personal that, you know, wasn't personal at all. Yeah, at all. So, yeah, that.

That always lies into it, you know, from that Perspective. And so when you piggybacking off of, like, the different personal aspect of it, before we started the conversation, we was talking about business and how it is personal and like, the different perspectives on what that is. And you said something that was very key, that I never heard anybody articulate before about business is personal. And you basically said, it's hard for me to believe that a person is just like this nice, cuddly, kind person at home, but then when they get.

The word they sharp, they're a gremlin. Yeah, I don't think you.

Can you elaborate on that?

Yeah, like, I don't think people are. You can't sprinkle water on somebody and turn them into a gremlin. If that's who you are, that's who you are. So when people say, I'm a whole different person at work. No, you're not. You know, if you're an asshole at work, probably an asshole at your house too. Like, it's just what it is. And so I think a lot of you take who you are to work, right? So you have people in some situations that don't work well with their co workers. Why? Because they have insecurities that have nothing to do with their coworkers about their worth and their ability. And it manifests itself in their inability to work on a team. If you feel unworthy at home and you bring that to work now, I can't. I can't look at you and say, we both can win on this project. I gotta figure out how can I show her up. Cause she. That's some shit that has nothing to do with this. And so as a boss, there are a lot of decisions I make based on what I draw from what I believe. I'm a Christian. I believe in whatever I'm doing. It's because God has put me in a position to do it. And I owe it to him and to other people to be a blessed. And that's not always going to make me the most money. That's not always going to put me first in my decisions. That's not always going to allow me to make decisions that, you know, might be best for me, regardless of how they impact people. That's led to times where my staff is paid and everybody paid. And I might be eating rap snacks because I'm like, well, I made payroll, everybody's straight, everything good. But, you know, But I just have to believe when you draw from the right things and you treat people well, and you do, and you make decisions that when you look back you feel comfortable?

Yeah.

You know, do you feel comfortable about the decisions that you're making? And some people are sharks. Sharks go far.

Yeah. No, sharks.

Sharks go far.

And they eat.

They do. They'll eat your head off. If it comes to the money. And I don't knock it. If that's what you draw from and that's your philosophy on business and life, I'm not judging you. It's just not.

That's not mine. You make a really great point. Because my actual version of Fuck you money is being able to control my time. So that's not really connected to money more so than it's connected to what I do with the resources that I do have. Right. So if I am stuck staffing a staff of employees I know moving forward, like, okay, I gotta make this amount of money to control my time, then I gotta make this amount of money to be able to hire out people. And once I make that commitment to hire the people out, then I'm sticking to that commitment until I make more money that I can kind of do both.

Right.

But so I won't take no risk that will negatively impact either one of those. And so for me, that's where my Fuck youk Money is at its strongest. As long as I and controlling my time. Just meaning that I make enough money because I got a manageable overhead, Right. And so it really, really makes it so that through Covid, through all these different experiences, we never had to fire anybody or lay anybody off because I was already had put that number together. This is the number I need to control my time. As long as I control my time, I gotta fuck you money. I can decide if I want to do something, decide if I don't want to do it, because I'm controlling my time frame and all those different aspects.

And I think it's important to note that to get to that point sometimes takes sacrifice. Right. For 29 weeks straight, I have had to probably 30 something weeks now be here on Mondays to open up by myself and bartend. Right. It's a sacrifice to.

To have to do that 29 weeks straight.

Yep. Every Monday. Because thankfully on other days I have staff that can come in open. I have great staff, actually, that I would not be here without.

Love our staff. Yeah, this is a staff friendly podcast.

I would not be here without the people who support, you know, my staff. I couldn't. But on every Monday, I'd have to be here. Open up. If somebody ordering a drink, I'm back there. I'm not a bartender by trade. But I've learned how to bartender by hustle. Correct. So, you know, I had to do that to get to a point of finding the right person to now be able to take over for me in that. So that was a sacrifice. So sometimes to get to the point where you can control your time, like you said, you may have to take.

Do the jobs.

Yeah. And I mean, they know there's nothing in here. If I gotta bust the tables, clean the bathrooms, sell the cigars, order the cigars, order the liquor, pour the liquor, I'll do it.

Yes.

Because I can't look at you and say, why the toilet not clean? If I walk in and be like, I'm not doing. Nah, fix it.

That's when I learned this concept of controlling my time. Cause I was doing all the jobs. I said, man, when I ain't gotta.

Do all the jobs no more, that's great. It's like the best feeling in the world is when we're open and I'm with my daughter and I'm not here and I know that the place is not on fire, thank God, and that it's fine. And the people I trusted. Yeah. Because when I first opened, I was here seven days, 12, 14 hours, every day, just. And I was like, I can't sustain this. My biggest responsibility is I have a 10 year old daughter being a mom and making sure that my business doesn't take away from her experience and her growth. And I'm honest with her. She'll ask me questions, so, how's work? What's going on? So I talk to her and she's an iron fist. She's always like, well, you need to fight. My daughter is just like, if they don't do it, you need to fire everybody. You need to start. And I'm like, baby, that's not how.

You gonna come kill me.

You are the boss. And if you say do it, they better do it, so.

Cause you are the boss.

I like that that's her, you know, And I'm like, that's not how this.

That'S not how bean balls works.

You're fired.

But I love that she has that assertiveness and she kind of has that like, like, nah, this is what it is, you know, and she's developing that now even in fifth grade, you know, And I pray that that stays with her so she always feels confident to assert herself and, you know, so those are the things I'm thinking about is, you know, I want to raise a good human, you know, whatever she decides to do is she A good human. That's. And you need the resources to have the time to be sure. Correct. To focus on that.

Like, baby, we can't fire everybody because then I can't pick you up from school, right?

She be like. I'm like, nah, that's not how.

I can't do, can I? I don't want to take too long on this. But hiring staff, what was that process like for you? Knowing who to bring in so that you can leave the building and know it's not on fire?

I think your manage. People in management have to desire to be excellent on their own. They have to care about excellence aside from you. Right. Their desire to be good is not about whether you think they're good. It's because that's what they want to present that I do a good job if I have an opportunity. Because those are the type of people that are going to care about your business. Right. Even when you're not here, they're going to care about making sure you're not wasting things because they want to do it. Because you have people that's going to do a good job because you're watching those people work for, you know, bartender or whatever. But people that you trust to run your business have to. Like my manager now, her name is Selena. Aside from me, she wants to do a good job. It has nothing to do with me. It's because it represents her, you know, the way she wants to represent herself. So I always ask that question, like, you know, what matters to you? Like, what do you want to do? You know, what. What's your. What's your goal? And so you can kind of see those people who, they just want to be great regardless. And then you have people who are good at their job, you know, that are amazing bartenders. They may not be managers, but they're great at the job. So now, you know, in this industry, you know, people talk about, oh, it's high turnover. It can be. I'm thankful, I would say half my staff has been with me at least for over a year, some since I opened my doors. So I'm thankful for that, that I've been able to keep people and they like working here most of the time. It can be tough when you're, you know, my staff is 99% female. And you got men, you know, and you got those, you know, but for the most part, you have, you know, good people who respect their work. They respect them. So when you hire for people who you want to help take over for you make sure that excellence is not just about you, it's about them.

I think that's a very powerful perspective because I've. I engage and I speak with entrepreneurs all the time, right? And everybody. Biggest thing they're trying to solve is staff talent. Talent that. That, you know. Now, some people don't have the right infrastructure set up to, like, develop and train the talent. They're probably not the best leaders themselves to really sit down and really go through, like, the different ideologies that they want the staff member to pick up on. And it affects their business. Right? Some people are just not good business people, when it's all said and done, not good leaders. So there's.

Some people are good business people, but not good people.

People exactly.

Like, they can run a business all day, all night, but understanding that the person that works for you is a whole person, right? And interestingly, like, I remember I had some people on the staff that were like, oh, she doesn't care about us, right? At one point, and I'm like, what? You know, like, you know, like how your parents get upset. Like, do you even know the sacrifices that I made? So I'm like, so I just took y' all to Chateau Line for our holiday event. I took the whole staff. I told Elon, we had lunch, went to the vineyard. We had a party bus. You know, anytime someone ask me, can they get off? I'm like, cool. So I'm like, there are a lot of places like this where the owners don't even know y' all name. They don't know anything about you. They don't know your name. They don't know that you have children. They know you got two daughters, that you're in school, that you're an esthetician, where you're not working here, that you got a skincare. They don't know any of that.

Speed your life.

Yeah, but I know those things about my staff. And when I can support and buy stuff to support them, I do. If they say, hey, can I bring my stuff in? No problem. Get money, you know, so there's always. As an entrepreneur, when you're close to your business, some people have these expectations of you that are above and beyond. And then you have to kind of create a balance between business and your. Who you are as a person to really, like, you know, care about. Peep.

Yeah.

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It's a delicate.

Yeah, we were talking about being the bad guy yesterday, Ty, as far as, like, when there's layoffs and when things happen in companies and it seems like the boss is protected and they're safe and that they're not making sacrifices. Have you experienced this sense of, like, people perceive you as. You're just safe and protected versus being in the trenches with everybody that you work with?

I think that's always the assumption people make about the owner, right. Not realizing that you make more sacrifices than anybody else in the building. You know, people. People make assumptions in general. I remember when I first got the keys to this place, there were all these assumptions that I was married to a NFL player and he gave me the money. I was like, well, where is he? So I can't. You know, my brother is an attorney, and they said that he shook down the people to force them. Then I was connected to the cartel. And it was just all of these like, yes. And I was just like, what? So it was all of these, like, crazy rumors. I'm like, no, I'm in here painting and putting tile on the wall myself, because I don't got it like that. Like, I'm calling in favors to family and, you know, friends and using my network to getting it out the mud. Like, y' all thought, you know, I just. Nah. And so I think whenever you're a visible entrepreneur and people know, like, you know, when you have these big companies, like, people might know the CEO's name, but they've never seen that person. They never have had a conversation with that person. So it just seems like this, you know, figure of their imagination. But when people know you, you're even more prone to be judged or people make a. Assumptions about things. And. Yeah, so I have dealt with that, and I had to get to a point of blocking out the noise, and it goes back to again. What do you draw from? What are your core values? If the decisions that I'm making fair, if the decisions that I'm making are based on trying to grow the business and do what's best for the business while still keeping some level of caring about my people in it, I'm okay, you know, so certain things, people's not. People are not going to like everything you Do. They're just not. But you have to know for you, how you justify it. And you have to decide, as we talked about, time is not a limitless resource. You know, where am I going to put my time in my energy when it comes to, am I going to be sitting up trying to explain to somebody that has a problem with me anyway why I made a decision? Or am I going to focus on the customers who want to be here and make them comfortable, make them feel welcome and make them want this to be a place they come and spend.

Their money and then they spread. They talk good about it. When they're not here, it brings more business.

You have those then you have those that. Well, I heard she did so and so, so and so. And unfortunately, again, people sitting around smoking, doing nothing, just.

Yeah, just. Just chat.

And when I first opened, that used to bother me. I used to. Everybody, I used to be really upset. Now it's like, oh, you heard that? Did you hear the one where I did this to, you know, now talking about NFL life, I'm like, where is he? Because I would love to have his money. But yeah, so the.

I'm always almost. I'm a huge supporter of, like, black women doing business, Black women doing anything that's trying to progress them through their careers. And so when latonya RPR told us about, you know, your story, and I went and looked it up and I caught wind of your marketing background, right? And so when you are. Most business owners come from some corporate sector, right? Rather like you're. You did really well in marketing, but then you launched a cigar lounge, right? And I have to think that that is a part of, like, when you have a mentality of fuck you, money, you go out and you try to invest into things that you enjoy, right? Because you see a void. See, you know, you see like, oh, this could be really dope if I could do it this way and I add this type of flavor to it. But it has a lot of marketing elements to it because I can't really think that. It's been a lot of cigar bars that I went to that have live music, right? And then they have like a different cadence on how they want to make their clients and everything feel safe.

It's about experiences. So everything that, you know, I started my marketing business in 2006 and, you know, we were blessed, have been blessed to work with Coke, Pepsi, Lexus, Gabrielle Union, you know, Tony Rock, like all these. And a lot of what we would get hired to do is create events. And when I'M creating an event. My thought process is always kind of on, okay, what is the emotion I want to create people to leave with. What is the takeaway that is connected to this brand? Right. And that's what I try to do here all the time. It's like, what is it that I want people to feel and experience when they come here? And then that is the core for how you build. So it's not as far fetched as a lot of people think. Because if, you know, I'm looking out on a Friday night and I see a couple dancing or I see some homegirls celebrating a birthday and everybody's turned up and they're smiling and enjoying, that's the goal. Yeah, Right. So how do you get to that point of creating community, creating moments, creating experiences? And that's all in your operation, right? That's all in how you do things and how you train your staff. So it's, it's all connected, but it all centers from brand. Right? It's all brand. So at the core of any, any brick and mortar is what, what do we want people to feel like when you go to Chick Fil A, you know, you gonna get my pleasure. You're gonna get a certain type of service that you may not get at other restaurants, but that is their focus. Is that how they train the staff, the type of youth they hire? All of those things ladder up to amazing customer service. That's what they want you to get, positive experience. So it's no different here.

The last question I would have, from a business owner to another business owner. In your plan with Stanley's, do you have a expansion plan? Is this something like, I'm going to open up in different cities or this just like, you know what, I just like how this feels. And I don't know about the other.

Side of it, man. I'm a Pisces. That changes every day. I'm emotional. So some days I wake up and I want to conquer the world and I want to have multiple locations. I want to do this, I want to do that. And some days I'm like, man, I'm about to just go back to work. I'm about to find me a job and just go back to work. Clock in, clock out, get my check every two weeks, retirement plan, all that. You know, the, the, I don't want to say the easy route, but the sure route. Technically, Technically, you know the surer route. Yeah, surer. Right.

So it's the less pressure on you.

Correct that way. So I wish I could say yes, My plan is to. But I wouldn't be being realistic. You know, I'm in a season of figuring it out and really seeking God. Like, okay, what? You know, when I opened this, I knew that it was bigger than just me. Like, it wasn't just about me having a lounge so I could come in here and walk around and look cool. No, it was never that. Right. It was the opportunity sometimes to meet other women that are like, yo, I never even thought of that. Like, that's so dope. Like, you know, I feel inspired and that's a cool feeling. You know, when you meet people that have watched your story and they think that what you're doing is inspirational. I'm thankful for that. It was to be able to. I've spent over 100 something thousand dollars in other small black owned businesses and people that have come in this building to do services for performances, this, that or the other. You know, so it was never just about me. You know, big up in myself. Like, look at me, guys. So my prayer in this season is God showing me like, okay, this was so that you could do this or this was for this. And the hard part about faith is that it's never. You don't get the full playbook up front. Like, I wish I had the full playbook that I could be like, oh, so next I'm doing this and it ain't no script. No, Like, I never thought that doing concerts. I worked with a company for years still kind of do that. Does festivals and events. And it's 20,000, 40,000 people there. I never realized how in the moment where I got people cussing me out about their seats and their chairs and what they not going to never realize how dealing with that can help me was going to be instrumental in. When people hear. Excuse me, you the owner, right. I want to tell you, this is flat. And I just, my Prosecco don't have no bubbles in it and I feel away. Okay. You know, but when you. So I never, in those moments when that was happening and I'm changing out tickets and I'm, you know, trying to make sure that they can enjoy the rest of their night if something went wrong. Never realized that that was preparing me for.

For this.

Yes.

Customer service skill set. When you're actually responsible for the problem.

Correct. Even when it's to you. And it's made me, I could say since opening this, when I go to other places, man, I'm so understanding because I know it's just, you know, you can train people for 50 days and they still do something else, you'd be like, you know, that's not how it's supposed to. So that's one thing that I talk to people about. Like, look, give people grace. Like, I promise you that just, it goes a long way. Yeah, it goes, it goes a long way. So hopefully, you know, do I love creating experiences for people? Absolutely. Do I love support guards? Most definitely. You know, do I want to keep Stanley's open and make it a place that people come and they enjoy themselves? Absolutely, definitely do. That's all prayerfully in the cars and then, you know, looking at where that takes me next. Yeah.

So a question I like to ask people is imagine that your 17 year old self is watching you right now. What would you say to you?

Speak up, speak up, speak up. Don't let people play in your face. Whatever table you're at, you worked your ass off to get there. You deserve to be there. And don't let anybody make you feel like you don't. Because there's so many situations I've been in that I didn't say, nah, fuck that, or like hold up, no, wait a minute. Or nah, you need to pay me. Cause I just made you $1.2 million on this deal. What you mean you can't, you ain't got. There's so many times that I didn't feel because most of the industries I've been in, I worked at the NBA, I worked at espn, I worked in entertainment. I've always worked in environments where I was, it was more so male dominated. And I graduated college in 2002. So a lot of the things that people now will ring the alarm about, it just was what it was when we were younger. It was just like I had a manager say to me once as a white woman, I don't want you to think this is a plantation or I'm a slave master or anything, but we need you to be more willing to work on weekends. And she was like, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that. Right. Imagine in 2023amulti should have been reported. A multi million, multi million dollar sports league is while multi billion. Probably somebody saying that to a young black woman, man, I'll be so rich, you know. You know, but at the time, right at the time, I'm 21, 22, fresh out of college, feeling like I didn't have any power, like I just, you know, but my mom, funny story about my mom, I'll never forget. I told her what happened and you know, my mom was raised in Memphis, Tennessee, segregated South. She's with the shits through and through, right? My mom called the commissioner's office. I was working at the NBA. And she was like, let me tell. David Stern was the commissioner. She was like, let me tell you something. She was like, I will be up there with a bunch of black women in blackface saying that y' all are racist if y' all don't say this. So I'm sitting at my desk, right? The whole incident out my mind. You know, I'm just feeling, you know, feeling low. Like, I get a call and it was Adam Silver from. He was like, lead counselor at the league at the time, right? So I'm like, he must have called me by mistake. Why would he, you know, the top attorney at the league be calling my desk? I was like, no, he left a message, right? He's like, hi, you know, Monica, please give me a call. So I'm like, what is going on? So I called. He's like, yes, we need to set time up with you. We need to have a conversation. Your mom called. She was very upset about something that happened with you. And we just need to get to the bottom. I was mortified. I was like, I can't believe you did that.

So she didn't tell you she was going to talk?

No, because again, you said, what would I tell my 17 year old self? Speak up. Speak up. I didn't for years. I'm just now getting to the point of telling people, nah, B, we not. So she knew me. She knew I was not gonna say anything. I was just gonna let it go. And she was like. So I called her. I was in tears. I was like, they're gonna fire me. She was like, I hope they do. You gotta bring them on suit. If they fire you, dare them to fire you. Tell them to do it today. I want them to fire you today. Tell them to do it. I was just like, oh, my God, I'm going to get fired. I'm never going to work in sports again. No one's ever going to hire me. It's going to be awful. And so, because I was not comfortable with my position at the table when I had the EEOC meeting and all that, I downplayed it. Oh, it's fine. I knew she didn't mean it like that. Man, I should have went in. Like, I was offended. The day that she wanted me to come in was MLK Holiday. Yeah, that was a day we had.

Get out of here.

I promise you. We had the day off. Technically, it was like one of those floating. Not a really holiday, but a holiday. And I was like, no, I'm not working MLK day. Like, no. So the next day, that Tuesday, she was like, yeah. And that's when they had the conversation about my commitment to the job and the team. And so when I went in the meeting, this panel of people, HR people, and they're taking notes, and I'm like, it wasn't that bad. No, it's fine. She took in my voice, man, that lady, she was like, I hope they do.

You done came out with a rage.

Retaliate. I'm just like. So I would tell my younger self and any younger person, being quiet doesn't make people value you more. And nobody is gonna just give you what you deserve. People don't do that. A lot of people don't. A lot of people don't say, you know what? This person is hardworking. They've contributed to my team. They've helped me. They deserved it. Some people do. Most people, unless you make it known, this is what you. I need to feel value. This is what you have to do. They're not going to do it. And I've missed out on a lot of money. I've missed out on a lot of things that I should have claimed for myself because I didn't speak up for myself. So. And it takes growth, and I'm growing.

Into that space 1,000%.

That was excellent. Thank you.

Very excellent. I love the mama stories.

Mama is still. She's. To this day, she's still 74 years old, but we'll pull up, she gonna write a letter. Like, I remember they were giving my cousins hard time in dental school. Only him and the other black student. She wrote a letters, hold board of directors, everybody. Like she was. She. She's. She's that still. She. Her.

She spoke up.

Oh, yeah, she speaks up.

She speaks up.

Yes, always.

So, yeah, we appreciate you gracing our conversation.

Thank y' all for having me.

And we will hope that as we are building out this platform that it helps drive positive business to your establishment.

I pray so. I pray other women see it and know that if you want to get into the construction industry, do it. You want to be a plumber, have a plumbing company. Why not? You know, don't feel like, well, you might have more challenges. You know, I remember when I was opening, it was like a whole group, like a group meeting. Like, we not going there. We not supporting her. Never met the people in the group room. They just was like, we don't fuck with her. Why I never met y' all like. But you gotta keep going. So if there's anything I would say, I pray people get is speak up. Keep going. And understand that time is not a limitless resource. Definitely not. Get your fucking money so you can control your time. Yes, indeed. Come on. So you can invest in the people and the things that matter to you. So cheers.

That's all we got today, folks. Until next time.

Until next time. Foreign.

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