The "M" in May Means Mental Health

Back with another episode of the FIM Show with Ty and Yo. That's my brother. I'm Yo, and this is another episode of, you know, a very ignorant conversation about wellness. We do prioritize wellness on the FYM Show. It's also May. Shout out to all my Geminis, shout out to my Tauruses. I also want to shout out Mental Health Month. All right, now, M is for mental health. The MMA is for mental health. Mental health is incredibly important in your day-to-day life. It's important in your businesses and your relationships and your just personal well-being. You need to be on top of your mental health. And Ty had a very special subject he wanted to touch on today because today is May 20th, but May 19th was Malcolm X's birthday. So we want to wish a happy belated birthday to Malcolm X and his family, and you know, everything he's done for us Black folks and all folks, you know what I'm saying? I commend that man for what he did with his time on this earth. I feel like it is incredibly important and has continued to be influential on our lives. But today Ty has a very interesting subject inspired by the birth of Malcolm X. Ty, can you please tell the people what is on your mind?

So I was thinking about like, what should we talk about today? But I'm like, oh, it's Mental Health Month. I'm like, huh, when it comes to mental health, are you more Malcolm X or are you more Martin Luther, question mark? And historically, you know, they spoke about how Martin Luther was more of a politic, like peace, you know, don't fight back, right? But then Malcolm X was kind of like, yeah, We not playing none of that. Take what you want. Fight against your— fight with your rights. Take the fight to them, you know. And I'm paraphrasing a lot of the different things that people have described the verses, even though it was with the same type of movement, but they described the different leadership styles, right? We'll call it leadership styles.

There we go.

Malcolm X's leadership style differentiated from Martin Luther King's leadership style when it came to fighting for the rights on the behalf of Black people. So when you think about mental health, it is a very, very, very, like, touchy subject because people are traumatized growing up. People are taken advantage of. People are overseen. People are taking— their voices are being taken, um, before they was even born, their voice was taken, you know. And so when we start thinking about how important the mental health conversation is today, it's like, are you Malcolm X or are you Martin Luther?

Now, Ty, but when it comes to mental health Are you saying you got to think about like your qualities in the way you just think about, I guess, what you're going after, right? Because Malcolm X's approach was a little bit more aggressive in terms of how he stylistically wanted us to get to our liberation. I'm not saying Malcolm— Martin was not aggressive, but I think the way he spoke about peace and the way he spoke about, you know, all people and coming together and really fighting to, to bring us together as a— not just as Black people, but all people together.

It—

to most— to your point about comparison, it came off a little bit more passive. It came off a little bit more passive. It was not as aggressive. It really turn about, turn another cheek. But how do you look at that when it comes to mental health though? Do you— are, are you saying like, can you, can you give me a little bit of a comparison if you have a, a Martin style when it comes to your mental health?

I think when you think about a Martin style, when you approach your mental health, is aspirational belief, um, uh, passive, meaning that you believe that what you do, that the direction you're working towards is going to— you're going to receive the benefit if you do all the things that are in line with having control and peace with your mental health, versus Malcolm X is probably a little bit more aggressive about the results of what you want your mental health to be, right? So the boundaries might be a little bit more higher The boundaries might be a little bit more thicker, right? It might not have as many opportunities for disappointment or people to disappoint you that would have— that would interfere with your mental health. And that will create people respecting your boundaries, but they might feel bad based on how it was delivered, right? So your delivery of your protection of your mental health can be a Malcolm X type of delivery, or it can be a Martin Luther King type of delivery where it's like, I have a dream that all of us together can work on our mental health, even if that other person is toxic, right? Even if that other person is white, even if that kid is white, even that kid is Black, you Martin Luther King had a dream that both would, would segregate, you know, would not segregate and would work together, right? Would not be separate, would be unified, right? So that means that, that if somebody else is dealing with mental health and you are dealing with mental health, but you a little bit further along in your journey of being well, but they are not, but y'all are sitting in the same pathway, you have to make the decision to try to pull them up with you.

Right, could that come at your detriment though?

Once again, it could come at your detriment or it can come at unity, and it can— both of y'all can be healthier, right? Whereas your Malcolm X is almost like, hey man, I'm— this is— we got our stuff together, you don't, right? You might come over and damage this. I don't want to be segregated. I don't— I want to be segregated. I don't want to be that involved with you, and I want to take my, my piece myself. You know what I'm saying? I want to take my piece, and it's my piece. I'm entitled to this piece, and if anybody challenges it, then, you know, it could be a, a, a, a thing that can make a person feel uncomfortable and not want it.

Mm, as you're talking, I think about Malcolm X's kind of by any means necessary motto, right? Having a by any means necessary attitude about your mental health. I think that's interesting. I think that's interesting because I can, I can think about times where I wasn't as selfish with my mental health as I probably should have been. Because it wasn't quite by any means, right? I had a dream about being all the way there. I did, right? I definitely had a dream about it being as tight as I wanted to be. I kind of saw a vision for it, but it was not by any means necessary, right? Because I thought, you know, dreaming was enough, you know. I thought maybe that if I had a positive enough attitude about everything, that it was eventually going to get me to where I want to go. That ain't how it works though. Not always. Sometimes that can work, you know what I'm saying? Like, sometimes you can have a dream, you can just show up and just like allow the universe to get you there. Yeah, but you might not.

Yeah, yeah, I'm about any means when it comes to mental health.

Like, tell me, but explain to me how you arrived at that place and why it was important for you to have that type of attitude for your mental health?

Um, when I realized that most humans really are going to pick themselves consistent enough for you to be worried that they're gonna pick themselves, you know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, it's so consistent that people are gonna pick themselves that if somebody don't pick themselves, it don't matter if you experience it multiple times in your life, you're still surprised.

Mm-hmm.

You know what I'm saying? Like, that's how consistent historically people have went about picking themselves, that no matter how many times you watch somebody pick themselves specifically when it pertains to you, you're still surprised. So when I feel like—

you feel like— my bad, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

Yeah, so when I realized that, I was like, man, now I gotta make sure I protect my mental health, because if my mental health is on the— is on the plank and another person's mental health— mental health is on the plank, they're gonna pick theirs to protect and save and honor majority of the time. Not all of the times, we're not talking in absolutes. There are people that is going to be like, man, I'm struggling, brother. If you come over and we can struggle together, we can work this out together. There is a, there is a demographic of those type of individuals as well.

Yeah.

Um, but you got to find those ones, and, and it's a lot of— you got to take a lot of risk. You got to be pretty vulnerable to find those individuals.

Yeah. Yeah. Something I realized, outside, to your point, taking a risk with your mental health is very dangerous.

Very risky.

That's, that's, that's a special kind of risk because one, you don't physically see the damage.

Like, you don't—

it's not, it's not physical. Like, you, you don't see the scars of the, the hurt and the harm you've done to your, your mental, especially when you've been risky with it in service of others, right?

Exactly.

Because, because then it's like getting back to yourself How can you, you know what I'm saying? You gotta come back. You might gotta go to the doctor. You might have to get, you know, some bandages. You might have pulled something. You might have broke something, you know what I'm saying? So the healing process could take a little longer. So I see what you're saying, but do you feel like— I mean, I guess, and I'm only using this comparison because growing up Martin Luther King was way more prominent outside in the world to me, like when it was Black History Month, you saw a lot of Martin, right? When it was his birthday, he had a day, right? It was— I didn't know Malcolm X's birthday, right, growing up, right? Because he didn't have a day. Do you feel like— but do you, do you feel like if you take a by any means necessary, um, sort of approach with your mental health, that possibly you will not be as revered by others? Compared to somebody more—

1,000%. I mean, listen, the truth of the matter is Martin Luther King has a legacy and Malcolm X has a legacy, right? Human nature, people are gonna be more celebratory of people who does not come off as a-holes, who does not come off as militant. Who does not come off as by all means necessary, right? You're gonna be— you're gonna— you're gonna find more passion for the individual that had passion and, and, and in humans. It's a— it's a mirror almost like it, right? But both of them had impactful lives that impacted the trajectory of Black people and organizations and growth. But one of them had a pathway that made it so that more people like them of all colors, even though, you know, he was assassinated, it's still— he still was revered by all of these different walks of life and people from different walks of life. So the point of the matter is that the people that get more cheers, hooray, we love you, they're usually, you know, easier to digest. You know, the ones that's harder to digest, they don't get— they can be right. They don't get the same type of love. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Because positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement are not the same, even though they end with reinforcement. You know what I'm saying? That's a, that's a, that's a good point. They're not the same.

It's different strategies. Don't we all want to be loved?

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, listen, when Jesus taught— when, when they talked about Judas as the 12th disciple, um, who was a thief, and he, he was, he, he was over the disciples' money, and he often stole from them. And not only was he— not only was he stealing from them, he also was like like mocking, I think it was Martha, when she was using the expensive perfume to put on Jesus' feet after Jesus had brought her brother back to life, which was Lazarus.

Yeah, that's right.

And, and, and Judas was like, man, what you doing, man? That, that can, that can be a person's whole, like, yearly pay. You're wasting it on his feet, right? So it's like, yeah, so he's, he's hating, but he's a thief.

Yeah, but oh yeah, yeah, crazy.

He loved him. He was a disciple. Jesus still loved him, you know what I'm saying? So it's like the— like everybody gets love. It's not even about everybody deserves it. Everybody gets love, you know. How they decide to reciprocated and accepted is a whole nother different— it's a whole nother different, different, you know, ball game, in my opinion.

I don't think you're wrong, but I do think it's interesting, especially like in today's time where social media sort of shows us people's response to you in real time by your likes and your reposts and things of that nature. Obviously being beloved and being revered is something that I think we naturally kind of lean into, or, you know, it's desired, right? I don't think there's a lot of people who desires to be the villain, you know, without some type of like— because even sometimes being the villain, you, you get, to your point, you get love. You get loved by other people that like to be villains, right?

I just, I mean, I think it's, I think it's easier for a person to fall into Idolatry. When they're getting idolized by so many people, if they don't have their mental health in check or they don't have their, their purpose in check— because now you're looking at this like these people as if like they're, they're— they are a god, you know what I'm saying? But in actuality, they're just doing the work of Christ. They're just doing the work of somebody else, right? You know what I'm saying? They're a messenger of something else. So it's like, for me, when I think about mental health, even when you're getting revered by other people, like, you got to be strong to know that they— it's a purpose that you're serving. You are not the purpose, you know what I'm saying? And it's the same way for someone to have a different leadership style on how they're going to go about protecting their mental health or how they're going to go about protecting their family's mental health. You know, from a resource perspective, right? I mean, we talk about, I think we talk about Malcolm X and we talk about Martin Luther a lot, but I don't think a lot of people really talk about, you know, Frederick Douglass a lot. Frederick Douglass, you know, was really about like, learn these trades to fend for yourself. You know, if I'm not mistaken, I think that was Frederick Douglass, you know, that was like, get educated, be your own locks, be a locksmith, get a trade, you know, things of that nature. Um, and you had, and you, and you had another— now you have another leadership style.

Yeah, right.

Well, one is like, one is like, we're unified, that's the dream, we should all work together, love each other. Do you have the other one was like, we're gonna protect our rights, we're gonna protect our community by any means necessary, right? You had another one that's like, get educated, learn a trade, fend for yourself internally. And all of them, all of them have the same goal. The same goal is just about liberation and be able to have protection and to make sure we're not taking advantage of, make sure we're not lynched, make sure all these different things, we have resources. You know. And like, all of this tie back into mental health, because when your mental is not right, it's hard for you to progress.

Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

It's hard for you to progress. You can't go and fight for nobody rights when your mental is not right.

There you go. I mean, and, and to your point, man, like, what is liberation if your mental is not good? You already got everything, you know. You got skin like ours. You, you got enough against you. You can't be against yourself, right? You know, um, but I, I want to ask you, why— and I kind of wanted this just the other day— it seems like when the conversation about mental health has obviously evolved over time, but I remember growing up very early on that they were saying like Black men never really spoke about their mental health. Why is that?

I think that historically— that's not how it is today.

No, no, no, no, no, no, we didn't progress past that.

Yeah, historically, man was just, just taught to be tough. Be tough. It was like being a provider was being synonymous with being tough, and being tough means that you can't be vulnerable. Being vulnerable means that you're talking about your weaknesses, you know. So some people did it to protect themselves so that their enemies didn't— and on how to harm them. And then some just was programmed to our community that if you're a man, you don't supposed to be talking about your emotions, your feelings. You don't supposed to be crying. That's not a trait that a man has. It's all—

damn, man, you started talking about being vulnerable, you froze up. Oh yeah, we still don't talk about it. It's like your Wi-Fi was like, we still don't talk about being vulnerable. No, no, no, but go ahead.

That approach to this whole keeping my feelings in because of what the, what the world is telling me who I should be as a man, stopping from checking in with their mental health, checking in on their physical health, being vulnerable, having, having, having so many different weights that they're carrying around. But I don't think the men of today, uh, have that same weight, you know. And I think that being that men of today don't have that same weight, there's more active fathers in the households. They may not be super successful, but they're, they're active, they're trying. They're not, they're not running away and disappearing.

Yeah, yeah, that's a great point. There has been a lot of progress there, but I guess, you know, just kind of growing up and just always kind of wondering, I never really saw other races get that kind of like stigma. But maybe everybody, every man in every household probably had a little something. But I remember very specifically how Black men weren't, weren't very vulnerable about their mental health at all.

Nah, nah, they weren't vulnerable about nothing that, that, that, that pointed out weakness, you know.

Yeah, yeah, it's interesting. I guess we will always compare Martin and Malcolm because of their differences in their leadership approaches, but But I do think people who saw strength in Malcolm's approach was really attracted to that at a time where it felt like you had to be very, very strong in the civil rights movement. Like what it required of you was a level of aggression and power and poise that you just didn't see it every day. You didn't see somebody move the way he did. But you know, we gotta respect all forms of leadership because we can learn something from everybody.

Very, very true. You can definitely— you said a word then— respect all forms of leadership because you can always learn from someone. I mean, I think that when I think about being healthy, it all starts mentally, man, because like sometimes I'll be talking to people and, you know, I rarely have dreams. When I do have dreams, they're like very telling. I hear some people dreams feel like they go to— they go and fight with Freddy Krueger every night. I'm like, bro, you got nightmares that many? It's crazy, like nightmares all the time. Yeah, something going on.

Wow. I mean, yeah, true, true. I mean, I don't, I don't dream super often. Sometimes I dream. I was telling you the other day I dreamt about like our weekly meeting, but that's like, that's something that's really on my mind. It's got to be super deep on my mind for it to enter my subconscious like that. But usually I don't really dream like that. But to your point, man, like, to be carrying stuff like that around all the time where you can't even find peace and sleep, that's, that's heavy.

That's torture.

You got something on your back.

Yeah, that's torture. Yeah, your sleep disrupted. It's one thing when you can't go to sleep, right? It's another thing when you go to sleep and you're tormented by things that could potentially happen things that can never happen because it's just so outlandish. But that's a, that's a telling sign of like being unsettled mentally and spiritually.

I saw, well, I was listening to a sermon the other day that said, I didn't completely agree with this, but he was saying that mental health might be connected to spiritual crisis. That if you're having a hard time with your mental health, that it might be connected to spiritual crisis?

I think that, and I've heard this multiple times, that, um, therapy can't cast out demons. So, so if you're dealing with— if you're dealing with darkness and it's a— and you, and you struggle with mental health, man, you got to go, you got to go seek some deep spiritual deliverance, because therapy is not going to get rid of demons. So if you, if you feel like you're having demonic dream— we're not talking about waking up and your teeth falling out, you know what I'm saying? Like, you have dreams, your teeth falling out, you know what I'm saying? Now, I'm not saying that that's a spiritual thing if you wake up and you got your teeth falling out in your dream, but I think it's something to be saying if, like, you're being, you're being chased around you know, by something that just feels demonic in your dreams, or people are shape-shifting into things and you're like, where it like feels like a scary movie or something. I don't know, man. That don't sound like no regular nightmare, man. I think people need to be aware of like what, what those demonic things can be for them and against them in multiple ways, you know.

I feel you though, because I mean, that is directly connected to your mental health. Because if you don't— if you don't got peace in, in a realm of sleep, it will affect you in your physical— when you in your waking hours. Um, so nah, I don't, I don't disagree with that at all. I think that's incredibly great point. And to make it mates, especially if you just ain't got no peace in your dreams, please. It's hard enough awake. It's hard enough.

Very hard.

Well, Ty, you know, I, I was, I was intrigued by your point of view today because I've never seen anyone kind of think about, uh, two of our most prominent Black leaders and how their leadership skills can be applied to mental health. I think you kind of showed me a new way of looking at things I never really considered today, and I hope that our viewers also see how, uh, interesting this POV is.

Yeah, I mean, the truth of the matter is the question is simply, how are you approaching the governance and the protection of your mental health? Malcolm X had a way that he went about protecting and governing his people, and Martin Luther King had a way that he went on about governing and protecting his people. Right, so technically your mental health is your people, you know. And so how are you going about it day by day, protecting your people?

Dang, yeah, I guess you are the leader of your mental health.

You're definitely the leader of your mental health. You're the politician, you're the president, you're the CEO, the janitor. The masseuse, the, the cat taxi Uber driver, you the coach, you know what I'm saying? You, you play all the roles in your mental, in your mental health movie.

Can you, can you tell me one thing you feel like you've done throughout your May that has been positive for your mental health?

I haven't traveled that much. I I haven't traveled that much. Well, what ended up happening is I had to travel 2 days, uh, which was Monday and Tuesday, uh, well, Monday, then I traveled back on Tuesday— I mean Wednesday. But before that, I haven't— I hadn't traveled for almost a month. And then I'm gonna go to Atlanta this weekend, but that's for, um, the, uh— I have to go— no, I don't have to go to Atlanta this weekend. I have to go to, um, I'm going to Puerto Rico this weekend, Memorial Day weekend. So that's not really a work day, right? And then the week— then next week I'm going to Philly to play golf for the, for the, um, Roots Picnic invitation. Once again, you know what I'm saying? So like, my mental health has been really disconnected from like having to travel for work. So I don't have to— I traveled for work already, that was on Monday, Tuesday. Nothing else on my books have me traveling for work. So I'm either gonna be posted up in Atlanta or posted up in Miami taking calls from the Zoom.

Yeah, yeah. But tell me, tell me, why when you don't have to travel for work, when you're able to just kind of be in your own space, what does that really do for your mental health? Why do you find that to be so positive?

Because I'm not— I'm not— I'm less likely to multitask, and I'm less— and it's— and it creates a calming environment for my nervous system. Because when you travel and you're moving around, you got— you got to pay attention to your phone. Like, do I got my key? Do I got my passport? Do I got my license? What time the Uber driver coming? Dang, what's Uber driver? I gotta give him the PIN. Oh man, where my passport? Oh man, the airport kind of crazy. Oh, you have to multitask your way through the traveling experience. And so when I'm not, when I'm not traveling, my nervous system is a lot more calmer and I have a routine. Like when I finish this, this episode, I'm going to go work out. You know, I work out 4 days a week. You know, I do Monday gym, Tuesday Pilates. Wednesday, Thursday in the gym. If I miss a day, then that means I got to work out on Friday. If I miss 2 days, that means I got to work out on Friday and Saturday. Yeah, so I missed 2 days. I missed Monday and Tuesday, so I gotta work out.

You were traveling?

Thursday, Friday. Yeah, because I was traveling.

I got you, I got you. But you feel like when you're in your routine, when you're in your space and you got a calm nervous system, you just, you feel your best.

Yes, it's, it's one of the— it's a very— for me, it's a very liberating feeling because, bro, from 2011 to 2025, man, 100 flights a year, bro. That's 14 years. It's 14 years, bro. Right now, yeah, I'm definitely, definitely, definitely on the pace of like doing less flights. Like, like my, my pace that I'm, that I'm feeling right now is like, it's slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly. Like June, I'm traveling for work for a week and some days, and any other time that I gotta travel is leisure, hanging out with the family. You know, doing something that's like family-oriented, you know. I'm not, I'm not exposing myself to places and things I don't need to be. And it's drastic. July, bro, I got two things on my, on my day, on my docket to travel. July 2, you know. And right now, neither one of them got nothing to do with work, man.

That's positive, you know.

So, um, that's just, that's just where I'm at. In August, I'm— that's my Wellness Month. August is my Wellness Month. That's where I take my month to like regroup, reset. Like, like I started doing that last year and now it just feels right to do it every, every August. Um, the number 8 is representing of a beginning, you know, you know. So it's like that, that month is, you know, that 8th month of the year feels, feels like the beginning, you know. So, so it's like that, that, uh, it's a spiritual thing that's connected to that as well, you You know, man, I hope people are receiving this as a great reason to know what makes your mental health better, right?

Like, the way Todd just like laid everything out, it's very clear what he knows is like, this thing kind of gets me off balance, but this is how I get back or realign. I even have a month for it. Like, that's to me is like a positive way of, uh, thinking about not just your mental health but your long-term mental health. Not just for the month of May, but you know what I'm saying, all 12 months throughout the year. Absolutely. I feel very encouraged by knowing what you're doing in August, and I'm gonna have that in mind too. You're a silly man.

Hercules. Hercules.

All right, y'all, man, there's another episode of the FIM Show. I'm yo— that's my man Ty. And please leave us in the comments how you feel about today's episode. Do feel like you've been about Malcolm X with your mental health? Have you been Martin Luther King? Have you been Brother Doug Goodless? Have you been Kendrick Lamar? Tell us, who is your leadership idol when it comes to your mental health? And see y'all next time. Go ahead, Ty.

There is no right or wrong answer.

No, it's not. No, it's not. As long as you feel good about your mental health. If you don't, it's probably not the best answer. But we getting better every day, y'all. We getting better every day.

The bastard.

See you next time.

Peace.