Integrity, Consequences & Controlling Your Emotional Impulses | The FYM Show

I don't think she knew it, you know what I'm saying? She definitely said, do not be coming over here with me if you married. At least you stay with your wife.

Okay, before we get started, this is the FYM Show with Ty and Yo. That's my man Ty. I'm Yo. It's the end of September, we're getting ready to roll into October. I, I hear it's Young Jeezy's birthday today. Let's get it! You know, also here is Miles Davis today, the day he passed away. So yeah, I don't, I don't have nothing. I want to give up my shout out to Miles, a true innovator in the jazz space.

Yes, sir.

True game changer. Um, Cheesy, also an innovator in his own right. We would not be in the hip-hop that we are today without Thug Motivation 101, so we have to give honor to our legends. Um, and Ty— Ty's funny, guys, right? There's certain content that Ty sees that would surprise me. I think Ty's all Diary of the CEO. I think Ty's all like high-level AI content, and every now and then he rolls into FYM, he drops something on the table that I'm like, how'd you even see that? Ty, please explain to the people the video you were just explaining to, uh, to me and our show producer Vanessa.

Right, yo, so, so I, I've had Instagram off my phone for like 3 months, right? So if I wanted to check Instagram I would have to go and log in on the web. And if you haven't, you know, operated on Instagram just by going on the web, you'll learn really fast. It's very limiting. And everything that you try to do, they try to push you back to the app. And I'm just like, nah, I don't wanna be on the app. I just need to check my messages, make sure I'm not missing nothing that's like, that an artist might send me, oh, look at this artist, right?

Right.

And accept my collaboration post when I'm getting people collaborating with me or whatever. And, you know, and I can hit the Explore page and get a little, you know, a little of my content, golfing, you know, some travel content, whatever.

100%.

But I recently had to download Instagram back on my phone because I was dealing with work stuff, and I realized like, dang, I need Instagram to kind of like promote this tour, these tour dates that we got that we're launching or whatever. So I had to download it back on my phone. And lo and behold, it did not take long before I started seeing stuff that I would never really see on the web. Wow. And one of the first things I seen was the— I had the pleasure of watching Yung Miami attempt to hit on a married man. And I don't think Yung Miami knew that the man was married. All she knew was she liked his eyes. And she liked them boots he had on, and she just liked everything he was about. And this man, with his priorities in order, you know, uh, it seemed like they was at a show or something of that nature. And he said to her, I am flattered, but I have 2 daughters, a smoking hot wife, And a 2.75 mortgage rate. I am not effing that up. And young Miami said to him, you right, you just don't be coming over here with me. And she asked him, how old is your youngest kid? And he said, 2. You know, women are so smart, you know, she didn't ask him what was the age of both of your kids. She asked him, what was the age of your youngest? Because the youngest tell you exactly what type of time that's happening with this marriage. So he has a 2-year-old, that's the youngest, right?

Got it.

And he said, yeah, and she drunk her water. She's like, yeah, don't be coming over here with me. Don't leave your wife trying to deal with me. And so I'm paraphrasing, but I thought it was pretty interesting that the marriage, it is the marriage. Those children, it is the children. But to quote your mortgage rate as a defense mechanism to not get caught up in the shenanigans that most men would have fell victim to, oh, misspend that. You know what I'm saying?

Misspend that, bro. So I have to ask you, Ty, What is the opposite of thug motivation?

When you're no longer trying to motivate the thugs, but you're trying to motivate the thugs. You are doing nonprofit work.

You're doing nonprofit. You're a nonprofit.

Larry June.

Larry June. You're Larry June.

You're motivating them to eat healthy. Yeah, you Larry June.

Oh man. I'm sorry, I'm crying because you're right though. You're right. First off, shout out to Larry June. Larry June does have—

Shout out to Larry June.

A very health-conscious inspiration. Yeah, I mean, yeah, you want to get a smoothie, you want to be, you know, in a very healthy relationship, maybe do some yoga, some hot yoga. I just I— and I find that like the Larry Jones or like this, the young man that you just explained, Ty, we didn't really see those examples when I was listening to thug motivation at the time. There was a lot of thug motivation. There was Jeezy, there was Gucci, there was T.I., Gorilla Glue. A lot of motivating thugs. Yeah, Young Dro. Look at— listen to these names.

These are very—

these names are motivating. Big Country Kane. Like, in Atlanta, we were listening to all of the dope boy rappers. And they made you want very, very shiny cars, very old, like old schools. Yeah, a bankroll, you know what I mean? I don't even know if you could eat healthy listening to Jeezy. I never heard Jeezy motivate me to eat a grape or watermelon. It was whatever you get at a strip club. That's what— that's what I'm saying. So when I hear this story, I'm like, this is Motivation, right? But not thug motivation. This is not to motivate the dope boys. This is not to motivate my guys on the corner. This is for my guys that know their mortgage rates with the smoking hot wives and a couple kids. Actually, is today's Ty's cousin PJ's birthday?

I text PJ.

Yeah, yeah, happy birthday, PJ. I don't know why, Ty, but he told me his his lady's pregnant. I said, PJ, last time I talked to you, I'm pretty sure she was pregnant.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's, um, he's, um, you know, I guess he's trying to start a basketball team, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I thought so. I said, look at homeboy.

7 squad, you know?

Yeah, yeah, a full, full court.

Yeah, yeah. We have an expert on having babies in the family, you know? We have an expert on having babies in the family.

But I thought it was beautiful. I thought it was— I was like, oh man, PJ, that's amazing, you know? Keep them coming. That's what the world needs. That's the love we need to see. Um, so at this time, I just want to know, for you, what kind of motivation are you looking for right now? I don't think you're looking for thug motivation.

Well, I'm looking for motivation to stay close with the Lord so that I don't slap a human. That's the kind of motivation that I'd be looking for, you know what I'm saying? That's, that's, that's where I'm at with the motivation. Um, another side note, my First nephew was born on the 25th, actually. My brother had a kid on the 25th. So my nephew birthday is on the 25th, my cousin birthday, PJ birthday is on the 28th, then my cousin Tracy birthday is on the 29th.

Wow, wow.

Yeah, yeah, some birthdays. Boom boom boom boom boom.

They coming, right? Birthday weekend, you got people.

Well, yeah, like, yes. Like, so my motivation is, is my motivation is really, really trying to stay a servant, you know, because, yeah, versus a, you know, slapper, you know what I'm saying? More servant, less slapper.

Yeah, slapper. All right, let's stay right there, okay? I'm sorry. But why do you feel like slap— like the trying to avoid slapping a human, right? Is it because we just have a hard time communicating with humans? Is it that humans don't listen? Like, what, what is the root? Talk to me.

I think, I think humans don't really understand lessons unless there's like consequences.

Okay.

Right? I think that's like the core of it. Like, when we was growing up, you know, you, you seen and you heard about these stories about like Suge Knights of the world, or like, you know, you know, Puff, you know what I'm saying? Or like, you know, Master P, Cash Money, like, you just, you know, you just heard about these different stories. Within the industry, and it made you be like, yeah, you know, kind of stay away from them. You know, like you heard about the Gucci and the Jeezy, those different aspects of things. And I do enjoy that the music industry isn't as violent. Well, some people might, some people might counter that and say, is it not violent? You know, people, a lot of people getting killed, you know, from those different aspects of it. But I think that the human natural default in their flesh is to think about themselves only. You know what I'm saying? And I'm a firm believer that people are less likely to do something when they know that there's a real consequence that's attached to it.

I don't disagree. I don't disagree. I, I hear you. I'm not pro-spanking, but anytime we got hit as kids, and it wasn't a lot, we straightened up. Yeah, you know what I mean? You had to go get a switch. I know this is a very old Southern thing, having to get a switch, but you had to get a switch. Yeah, I mean, you, you straighten up.

I come from the era of fighting. Like, I come from the era where people would fight and you, like, you just would know, yeah, you may not want to deal with that person, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. But I think it's because people, people, people operate in ways that they feel like they're comfortable in. And when you make them uncomfortable, they usually kind of snap out of what, what, what that, what that is. Either that might be, yeah, I ain't going over there, right? Because, because, you know, being over there, I see how they treat people. Or You know, if it's a woman, you know, if it's a woman that you run into and that woman, let's say that woman, you had a bad experience with that woman, right? That, that now that's gonna, you're not gonna keep going to that woman.

You're gonna be like, yeah, I gotta, it's like, it's like, it's like touching a hot stove. Yeah, I got burnt over there.

Well, I don't want to keep going over there, you know, from that perspective. Or if you are dating a woman who has some crazy brothers, you know, and you end up getting out of line and them crazy brothers came over and like checked you, then you're less likely to be acting a way with that woman because you know that it's a phone call and that they'll come over and it might be another problem for you. You know what I'm saying? So—

I do.

I am pro, you know, slap. Honestly, but that's not what the Lord would desire for us to be doing to each other.

So, you know, I don't think there's a, there's a testament where Jesus slapped anyone. Jesus slapped anyone. I don't think so. But tied to your point, it's interesting how the human mind sometimes disassociates until it's brought back to reality, right? It's like you can kind of remove yourself from thinking about the worst-case scenario until you have to experience it. then you get right, right? Some people don't understand the bottom till they touch it. They gotta touch the bottom to know, like, all right, I didn't— I didn't went too far. It's interesting though, because obviously in business you're not supposed to harm people, you know? You're not supposed to. It's not— it's frowned upon. It's frowned upon. But to your point about like the Suge Knights and the Puffs back in the '90s, you didn't mess with those guys, you know.

Yeah.

In theory, you build these large myths about yourselves and like how they do business. And a story that I heard about Birdman and Cash Money that I'll never forget— so they used to have this thing called a shark bus. So when they would tour, they would have 2 buses. They would have the buses with the artists and they would have a shark bus. And the shark bus had people that had just got out riding around with them. And if you got in trouble, Birdman put you on the shark bus. People didn't want to get in trouble, you know? Like, the fear of having to ride on the Shark Bus kept artists in line, kept everybody in line. If you was a fucking manager, if you was a runner, you know what I mean? So it's like, I know that sounds like really crazy, but imagine how efficient your business runs if you ride around with a Shark Bus. And if somebody— This is broken.

Out of line. Hey man, I'm pro-discipline. Okay. Yeah, it's the— this the only way that the human flesh knows, you know what I'm saying? Like they don't— like, like they, they don't know. They would do whatever they want to do if there's not a guideline to say, hey, this is not what we need to be doing. That's why you find people, you know, I have a lot of, lot of— I have From really great friends that's Jewish, and people know not to mess with Jewish people. You know, they know the consequences that come with that that usually attack your livelihood, right? And it's a that like like like I respect that. You know what I'm saying? Because you know what time it is. You think about it. So I think that when we start thinking about you know making decisions and Um, doing the right thing by people or doing the right thing by your wife, you know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, all of these, all of these things that when we, when we start thinking about our day-to-day business interactions and what integrity looks like, all of those different elements, I just truly feel like you get a different result out of life when people decide that It's not worth messing around with them people. Do right by them if you're gonna go over there.

Yeah, yeah. Now, is there a way to have that relationship without harming anyone? Is there a way to just build it through respect and code?

Absolutely. I mean, you just— a lot of it is people usually will stay in line when they know that You can impact their livelihoods. You know what I'm saying? If they care about that. If they don't really care about that type of stuff, then that's a whole nother different monster that you're dealing with.

Yeah. True, true, true, true.

You're dealing with somebody that's just like, I don't care about no money. What you think I don't care about some money? You ain't finna threaten me because you can stop my money from coming. Some people don't care about that.

Yeah, that's kind of a hard, a hard thing to wrestle with because I would hope everyone cares about this. All we got is our livelihood at the end of the day.

Yeah, I mean, it's just all an integrity thing, you know what I'm saying? If a person is like, do this or I'm gonna stop your money from going, whatever this is might not be aligned with my integrity. So I got to be prepared, you know, to lose whatever that is. Because I'm not— I don't work for you. I don't work for none of y'all, actually, you know what I'm saying? I work for the Lord. That's it. So depending on what it is, but I do think, you know, you can have civil understanding with respect, and then people know, oh well, you know, if you go over there and you do this, there's a consequence. And are you sure you want to deal with this consequence? And that consequence don't have to do nothing with violence. It happens every day in business. So when you're building a business and you are trying to build a community, it's very important to service people how you want to be serviced because your business is not always going to be going up.

Yeah.

There might be moments where your business is plateauing, is just right here, and one bad hit can drop it. You know what I'm saying? Or it might be a moment where you get accused of something that you didn't do. But your character hasn't shown that you wouldn't do that. Even if you didn't, right? That can impact your business and your personal life, all those different aspects of things. You know, I, I am very, very aware of this concept that Young Thug beat his case for whatever his thing was. Durk beat his case for whatever those restraints would be when he's out. But, but Puff didn't beat his case.

Mm-hmm.

Right? So that means that the people, the situations, and all of those different aspects of it Which it felt like, I could be very wrong, that Durk and Thug accusations was more violent than Puff accusations, right?

Yes, yes.

You know, and so—

At least what he was on trial for.

At least what he was on trial for. So it's like, it's like, well, well, why? Why is Puff still in prison when Young Thug and Young Durk I mean, Lil Durk is, you know, they're out and they have more violent accusations against them, right? There is some consequences that Puff didn't realize and lines that he crossed with people that are like, I feel like trying to make a point. Um, you know what I'm saying?

Now, now I will say Durk is still currently locked up, but he did beat his case. He has another case that he has to fade. Right, right, right. You know, will determine how soon he gets out or what his consequences will be. But to your point, I do think, um, like a perfect example was the Cassie video with Puff, right? He was not on trial for that. He was not on trial for domestic violence. But I believe seeing that influenced the court because, you know, what he was, um, found guilty of, no one in history had gotten time as long as he has had for For that same offense. Yeah. You know, and that's what his lawyers have been pushing against. He's like, hey, I know what he was on trial for, but we— he was found guilty of this amount of time in prison does not make sense with the crime. You know.

Whatever, whatever, whoever, Mr. Sean Combs offended, pissed off over this time frame, and it wasn't the full time frame of his His his his his glory. It was some pocket of time that that he created some enemies that Lil Durk and Young Thug don't got.

Yes.

You know what I'm saying? I see what you're saying.

I see what you're saying.

So so these are the these are these dynamics that we talk about when when you start looking at how you view your business because Puff runs a business. He is a business. Durk is a business. Young Thug is a business. They are enterprises. Their brands make millions and millions of dollars whether they're in jail or they're not, right? Through music, through brand opportunities, through their likeliness. And so one that's been around 25 years, you know what I'm saying? We're going on like 30-year anniversary of Bad Boys. Like, it's like, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah.

And bruh got a different type of sentence. than those young men did. And, you know, and they also beat cases. Durk just got another case to beat, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

It's not like he's still on the hook for that. So I think that it's a very, very clear understanding of like, hey man, this world that we live in, you gotta be conscious of like who you are offending, how you're treating people, how you're treating strangers. Because you could be treating somebody badly or poorly who is attached to your next opportunity or could be attached to your next, like, help me, I need help, like, you know, moment. And I think that, um, that's where I kind of settle at when I'm thinking about how people make me feel at times. Well, I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna just resolve to stand in alignment with the will of the Lord, because that's the only thing I know that keeps me kind of like balanced in those sense, you know what I'm saying? Because it's like, man, who you talking to? What you say? And, and those type of— that type of energy, um, can have you, you know, not in the best place from, uh, Freedom perspective, you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? I want to be hiring Brian Steele, you know what I mean?

But you do make an excellent point. Um, also, I didn't really understand, and I'm not saying this is what you mean, but the idea that revenge is a dish best served cold means that it comes later, like when something happens that's like revenge-related. It's not right, you know what I mean?

Right.

Consequences sometimes come so much later that you forgot that what, what you did, who you did it to, or that the long-term effect of something that you've done could come around like this. Like, it's, you know, I don't know if people believe in karma, believe in the Lord, believe in how the universe operates, but the way things come back around, the way things connect, sometimes will surprise you. Especially when you're on the, you know, the other end of a problem?

I mean, listen, I believe that— I just believe that you're gonna, you're gonna reap what you sow. And, you know, your harvest is going to be your harvest, right? And so when you are treating people unfairly, those very people, if they just stay the track, you know, they're going to have a life that is full of fulfillment, a life that has purpose, a life that's going to have family, that's not going to have addiction, that's not going to have, you know, torment and things of that nature. And so when I think about people and how they live their lives, I'm like, that person is tormented. You know, I, I don't have that when I go to sleep at night. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. That person don't have a good relationship with their family, or that person You know, has this level of addiction that they're fighting. I don't really have that, right? And so, or they're just unhappy with themselves, and it shows in these different ways, or they don't have the confidence in themselves, and it shows in different ways. And usually time it shows how they treat people in those different aspects. And so, before you try to anybody, you know, this is a message to young kids. This is a message to older men, older women. It's like before you try to take. Anything into your hands like you are the law. You just have to think about where your happiness is at and the type of experience that the other person is having. You don't know what they're fighting, you know, every single night. People not being able to go to sleep, that's a punishment. You know what I'm saying? Like, we all see what happened to Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson was on drugs because he was trying to go to sleep. You know what I'm saying? So when you are thinking about somebody did you wrong or somebody is not treating you right, you just got to focus on yourself to be able to grow outside of that so that you don't find yourself in a situation that don't really serve you by trying to prove a point or whatever that case might be. And I think that is A lot of the things that we find ourselves in as Black men, we find ourselves in those kind of uncomfortable situations because of an emotional, um, decision that we make. And, and I think Yeah. Puff made emotional decisions that got him into this. Durk made emotional decisions that got him into those things. Thug made an emotional decision that got him into those things. When we don't make emotional— we don't make those those reckless emotional decisions, we are more present for our families. We are smarter, we're more advanced, we're more successful when we just kind of like block out that emotional response that we would have in how we live our lives. You know what I'm saying?

You're 100% correct. Give me one, one piece of advice before we go. How do you stop the emotional impulse to respond? Like, what keeps that— what stops— like, what blocks that right before you go? You know, because I, I agree with you, and I think it's increasingly difficult to not respond emotionally to things.

I think that one, you have to close your eyes and breathe, right? Because breathing is A blessing, right?

Amen.

And so like that, that kind of like punctuates that emotion. You have to like stop, close your eyes and breathe. Um, and then you have to think about the things that you actually value. You know, the things you actually value, that you might value your relationship with your mother, right? So anything you do that might disrupt that relationship, you should not do it.

Right?

You might value your relationship with your, you know, or your spiritual relationship with, with Jesus. And anything that would cause you to have to go and repent, you might want to say, you know what, I'm not going to do that. You know, you might value your, your place in your, um, professional ecosystem, right? So if you are a CFO or a CMO and, and whatever you're about to do will, will disrupt that position in the ecosystem, I think you should, you should think about it. But slowing down, pausing, thinking, breathing, weighing what the pros and the cons are, I think that's really, really a more solid thing to, to kind of like move towards, um, for men. Because we can be more— we can be, we can be full of rage at times and make, you know, uneducated emotional decisions that will have long-term effects on our lives. And at that point, all we're doing is being emotionally enraged versus closing your eyes, just being like, all right, let me just think this through. Let me talk to myself. Let me not react. Because that's the core. You know, of like really just having a fulfilled life. Like a life of purpose is a life of breathing, slowing down, pacing, thinking about your actions. You know what I'm saying? That's what the foundation I believe is a life of purpose. Life of purpose is not an emotional decision-making life, right? We just making these emotional reckless decisions. That's not a life of purpose.

Hey man, I think that's a mic drop for this episode. So I, I couldn't keep you going because I think we hit the nail on the head with this. This is motivation for us not to react emotionally to things and make decisions that are not going to be against our purpose. You dig?

Amen.

All right, so that's another episode of the FYM Show. Please share, comment, subscribe, do all the things that you do when you're on YouTube. Um, and prepare for the Coach Playbook Volume 3. It's coming soon. If you don't have Volume 1 and Volume 2, please go get that. It's in the shop. And we'll see y'all next time. Peace.

Peace.