Adryenn Ashley Podcast

So welcome. Welcome, everybody, to another episode of the Conscious Pivot podcast. I am so excited today. I'm with somebody that really getting to know and really getting to respect quite amazingly at a level that I'm really even surprised by. And that sounds maybe funny, but this particular woman is just really a great surprise. The level of her intelligence, her energy, her vibration, if that's a word. Just everything about her, I think, is intriguing and has something to offer the world and even bigger ways than she's already been able to do, which is amazing because she's done incredible things with her life as a business strategist and a consultant and somebody that's really on the cutting edge and early. Like a flat out legit early adopter. Like, that's what I'm bringing you guys today, and we're going to talk about pivots, as always, as usual, and par for the course, she will introduce herself. We don't do canned introductions around here, so it's really going to be great to hear. I'm excited to hear what she's got to say about who she is in the moment. Not who are you, Duh. But what are you committed to? What do you love about your life? Yeah. What do you want people to know that's important? And before we get there, which we will in about a second here, I just want to remind everybody of something that is always first and foremost of importance, and that is that we get to be here together. This is a break. This is a huge break. This is a huge stroke of the divine that we get to be here. Because in this moment where we're breathing, we're collectively breathing, maybe we're even connected in our breath, and we're listening. I'm talking. There are people who are taking their very last breath everywhere on this big blue earth of ours. So this is a sacred moment. It's holy. And maybe you're. Maybe you're out jogging or you're driving, or you're somehow just looking to shift your mind a little bit right now, because maybe some things have taken you out today. Whatever it is, this moment is beautiful, and it's a blessing, and it's an honor to be here with all of you. And without further ado, I get to have my friend introduce herself to all of you guys, and we'll get started with some juicy, juicy Pivot stuff today. So I'm going to turn it over to you, my love. Would you introduce yourself to our community, please?

Hello, my name is Adrienne Ashley. I am an author, a filmmaker, A high tech priestess currently in the crypto space advising startups on how they can utilize the blockchain. And my big pivot came way back when, when I was a filmmaker and I got married and I got pregnant, and then we got a bill in the mail for $100,000 in back child support from my then husband's ex wife. And that led to an epic two year torturous family family court journey. And of course, as a filmmaker, I had always said, I'm never going to make a documentary. There's no money in documentaries. Who's going to make it? So who would do that? And in that moment, I discovered why and began the journey of making a documentary called Anarchy the Harvesting of American Families.

Oh, my goodness. All right, so let's unpack that just a little bit. All right. So you're married and I'm unmarried now. Well, no, I mean, saying back then, you're married and you're married to a guy who was married before.

Correct.

And I guess he had some issues with child support.

Well, not exactly you would think based on that bill, but.

No, no, it was something else.

It was something else.

Yeah. But that came out of left field completely.

And when you're eight months pregnant and you get a bill like that and you know what the consequences are. Which means your spouse is going to jail. And for more than a year, that means where we lived, that would have been San Quentin. And the last nonviolent offender to be sentenced to San Quentin was a third strike DUI plumber. He lived three weeks before he was killed, so it was basically a death sentence. So I delivered my baby early. So I had. He's actually not technically considered a preemie. He was one day from preemie because he was three weeks early, but it was pretty stressful. He was only four and a half pounds when he came home.

Oh, my goodness.

Yeah. So pretty. Pretty brutal. And then went through the process of fighting the Department of Child Support Services. And then figuring out my spidey sense started tingling and I went, holy shit, this is corrupt. This is absolute. Like facts don't matter. It's all about the commission structure and who's going to get paid. And that's how the entire operation was run. So I started doing a documentary because I thought somebody's gonna, you know. The more I researched and got into father's rights and spoiler alert, I climbed buildings with fathers for justice dressed up as Batgirl because I had a gag order and I wasn't allowed to speak as myself.

So you're an advocate. Now this thing has happened and your inner sense of, I don't know whether you were driven by social justice before that or this just triggered it. Like it was a recessive gene or something.

Totally. Right. So I grew up in Marin, which is the woo woo capital of the world. So I'm kind of like, you know, clean air, clean water, probably a good idea, but, you know, but I was not an activist. Social justice was never on my radar. But the more I researched and I interviewed 1,000 families, a thousand divorced families, thousand dads who had child orders and I and dads who had custody of their children, who had child support orders where the wife was supposed to pay and never did. Like I did. All the documentation, all the research, all the deep dives and proved that it's an absolute scam. The whole point was to recoup welfare money. We spend 400 million in welfare money, which is nothing, and we spend 5 billion to recoup that 400 million. Now in what business is that ever a good idea, right?

Not a business that's run for, quote, profit, right?

So, but it, but it's. So it was terrible. And I kept trying to get this through and I was flying all over the country with my team and doing this documentary and it was soul sucking and solutionless and unwatchable. And I got to Sundance and I met this guy who's super famous documentary filmmaker and he crushed my dream, actually finishing by telling me that documentaries take their own time and they'll tell you when they're done. And it's usually 10 years plus. And I was like two years into it and I just went, I am surrounded by broke, depressed, terror, just broken people, right? And I. 16 years of cheerleading. I can smile through anything. I am a perky person. It was rubbing off. It was affecting my marriage, it was affecting my mood, it was affecting everything. And I realized I could not see this through. I could not finish. But the information that I had dug up, the research that I did, I ended up getting a PhD in constitutional law. That was how we finished the case. Was the only time I could ever argue was in administrative court because I wasn't a lawyer. And when I argued in an administrative court, I would put the judge in a corner, hold her by the throat, basically verbally, and then shut the other attorney down. And I won every single time. And the only thing they were afraid of was my ability to argue in real court. Right? So we finally. I actually got an anaphylactic. I got almost died again. I have allergies and the next day my husband told his ex wife, I have two things to tell you. Adrian just graduated from law school and the bar was in February. So it was January 25, January 26, she settled. Because the only thing they were ever afraid of was me being able to argue his case. And so they settled. But at the same time, here I have this failed documentary. Thank God the actual court case itself was over. But I'm in this place where I'm just not happy, right? Like, I'm not living my passion, I'm not living what I'm supposed to do. I'm constantly down this rabbit hole with depressed, with depressing people. And it was, it was taking its toll. And then I went to a live event and. And I didn't go to live events before. Like, I know that you, you know, like a seminar. Like, yeah, like a seminar. Like a seminar with like people.

Like a real live seminar.

But it wasn't actually a real life seminar. What it was was Ladies who Launch. And we took over a nightclub and this bouncy girl gets. I mean, I am talking full on perfect Barbie with energy like I used to have, right? And we go there and it's called Ladies who Launch. And it was a whole bunch of women entrepreneurs with startups, with ideas. And it inspired me to take everything that I had learned and I realized nobody was gonna watch that movie. And if my intention, and this is where you have to boil it down to, what's the point? What is your actual intention? What do you want to accomplish? Because the vehicle that you're using might not be the right one to get what you need done. And I was using the vehicle that I was equipped to use, which was filmmaking. Because I was an award winning filmmaker. I mean, I'd already been around the world. I have a trophy case full of awards. Like, that was my genre. So to me, that was the best medium for me to get my message out. But it wasn't the right medium for the message. And after I met this girl, I figured out I needed to do a book. Actually, right before I met her, I figured out it needed to be a book. But I met her and then I was like, yeah, I can do this. And so I wrote the book, Every Single Girl's Guide to Her Future Husband's Last Divorce. And it is all about protecting second wives and making sure that they're prepared. Because had I done two things before I got married, we never would have been in this situation in the first place. But I didn't know. And he didn't know. And nobody really thinks to know. But what I needed to do was, number one, read his divorce decree and see what it actually said. Yeah, and he didn't read that either. And number two, I needed to get a satisfaction of judgment for matured installments. Have the ex wife sign it and file that in the recorder's office and do that every year. That is literally a line in the sand that says no go backsies. Yeah, nobody does that. If I'd done those two things, we never would have had this problem.

Alright, so I just want to circle the wagons here for a second.

Sorry.

No, no, no. I think this is really important because this is. There's a niche group of people that this is going to be really relevant to. And more likely than not, there are people that are listening to this or watching this right now who are nodding their heads up and down either in regard to their own situation or potentially somebody they know or their kids or whatever. Right. So what happened is you got married to a guy who had been married before and you went in like any other person. I don't even say naive, just. You would not have thought this is an issue. He's divorced.

I had a prenup. I actually was prepared. I had a prenup.

Holy smokes. So you were prepared. And yet even in the prenup, this subject never came up. Not with your lawyer, apparently not with anybody that might have been advising you at the time, which is that you, you got married to a guy who brought some baggage from his old marriage. And those were pretty heavy bags.

Yeah.

How many years did that go on?

The court case was two years. We were married seven years to the day we broke up on our seven year anniversary. Yeah.

Two years involved. Embroiled in a court battle regarding his ex wife.

The first two years of our marriage. The first two years of my child's life. Yeah, that's. That's what I'm. That's what I lost out on. That's what it cost.

So two things. I mean, typically this is, this is an interesting takeaway right here. But anybody that is getting married to somebody that has been married before. What I'm hearing you say, Adrian, is that they got to know, they got to read the divorce decree. You've got to get it, you've got to give it to a lawyer to look at. And that's just the common sense thing here. Right. And if there's some support that's still being paid or has been paid, you got to get the ex wife to.

Sign off to Sign off, yes.

Which has its own problems, I would think, because there's really no leverage over that person to sign off. So that's a challenge that we don't really have a solution to other than to pray. Pray and pray though they'll be nice and not want to stand in the way of somebody, you know, their ex getting married again.

Right, right. So there's, there's all sorts of things with that. But what I, what I learned through that whole process is how you give people information and how you tell them things, it affects how they receive it. So while I did the documentary from the male perspective, in America, men are not allowed to be victims. They're not allowed to be victimized, they are not allowed to be weak. They are supposed to be the strong John Wayne type. And anything that violates that archetype, you're not going to get media attention. You're going to have a really hard time getting buy in on that, even though it happens, even though it's true. And that's what I realized is it doesn't matter if it's true. Right. Can they even hear it? And so when I did the book, I literally pivoted around, women are allowed to be victims. As a matter of fact, I think the society demands that women be potential victims because otherwise they can't sell us this whole concept of victimhood and that we need these particular rights and that like in the state of California. So after this whole thing, I started doing some lobbying and they had, for victims advocacy. You know, you have this Women Against Violence act or Violence Against Women act that funded all of these shelters. Well, they added in California, lesbian, gay, transsexual, bisexual. And I said, so basically what you're saying is the only people who are not allowed to be guaranteed services for being a victim of violence is men, heterosexual men. And that is a good, I mean it is equal, it is half women, half men, half a third women and a third men, a third mutual. Right. It's, it's, it's not the way that they portray it in the media. And they do that for profit making and profiteering and it's so, but they can't hear it. So I had to do it in such a way where I made the women, the advocates for themselves. You could read it in a three hour double tin foil hairdressing session and get the most out of it. And it was in a very girlfriend, snarky sisterhood kind of, you know, cover your ass thing. And that worked. And then I did 300 media appearances about that and I got the word out and I got to talk about the issues, but I talked about them in such a way that they could hear me. So I helped people get a longer marriage. But then I realized if they're already engaged to the wrong person, the majority of them are going to marry them anyway because they would rather be divorced than a spinster.

Wow, that's a sound bite right there.

Yeah, that was really rough. So I went back further. My next book was Spotting the Kooks, and it was all about not dating the wrong person.

So you were advocating. When you say you were lobbying, you were lobbying for men's rights. Father's. Father's rights.

Father's rights, yes. I'm a father's rights advocate. I actually have two pages in a CIA file because I climbed buildings with fathers for justice who are considered a terrorist organization because they think that children deserve both parents and have the audacity to actually write it in chalk on sidewalks.

Amazing.

Yeah.

So the movie didn't get finished, right? No, it sucked. It. It sucked as much as it could.

It was sold out of you.

Yeah.

It was solutionless because it just. You know, I literally got the head of the. The DCSS in Texas to admit that if the obligor. I'm going to try and quote this from memory, and I think it's. It's accurate in its intent, if not word for word. If the obligor has no money, but their friends and family are willing to pay, sometimes incarceration results in money. Now, when you deconstruct that sentence, what they're saying is they created a debtors prison type situation where after Katrina, there was no court. So you could not actually modify child support back to the date of the storm. The federal government refused to allow them to do that. But you had no legal services, no nothing. Courts weren't open, records were underwater. So people were racking up child support obligations month after month. And while the state of Texas used the same system and they could transfer over the payments to the women who were now in Texas, you couldn't file in Texas to modify because it was a Louisiana case. So. So you ended up with like 25,000 child support obligors who then went to the point where they were going to be incarcerated because of their arrears, because a natural disaster hit.

Wow.

I mean, so. So I literally, like, talked about those things. It's hard because it gets so complicated and people don't want to hear it and it's not fun. So that's why I would do things like go on TV and talk about how to keep the romance hot when the economy goes cold and are you committing financial infidelity and all the things that you want to hear on a talk show. And I'm imparting little pieces of it and getting in as much as I can and then dropping huge bombs on Fox News, which was so funny because they're just like, okay, you're fun. You never tell me what I can't say. Which is awesome. Even though I don't agree with them half the time, they're just. They let me go, let me say whatever.

Wow. So tell us a little bit about what you're up to now, because the pivoting has never stopped and you've been, I think, doing something that we. Part of our, you know, what we love about this pivot concept is that you, at some point, you learn how to pivot elegantly and you do it intuitively. And that's a beautiful thing. So what are you up to today?

Well, I'll give you the short transition. So doing the book, I had already done movies. I knew how to market a movie, but to market a book, I had to come up with a new way to market. So that launched my company, wow is Me. And from that marketing, I learned how to market pretty much anything that got me into startups, startup advising, teaching people how to add joint ventures, monetization, you know, lots of different revenue streams, really get the word out, get publicity, start their own organic, you know, all the Internet stuff. Because I've been on the Internet since before the Internet was born. I wrote HTML before the Internet was born for a law library. They moved the law library from paper to CDs. I wrote HTML for that before there was an Internet. So I like to live.

So Al Gore can't really claim to the Internet when it was in fact you that did that.

I did get paid 2,500 bitcoin in 2009. I can't find it. That was for a consultation back when bitcoin was nothing. So I've been in crypto for a very long time and now I'm doing crypto. So I did my book, then I did the dating book. I'm now doing a dating app, which is a naughty augmented reality dating app. For good girls.

For good girls.

For good girls. Because we don't want to have hookups because we generally think that it's not going to be fun. So what I've done is given them that sense of safety and security. But we've also added A lot of technology that is machine learning as well as on the blockchain. So it's pretty amazingly bleeding edge tech. And we're launching that on an ico and I do a lot of ICO advising. We just launched museconomy last week, which was awesome. We hit our cap in 48 hours and it was amazing and fabulous. Part of my background has led me to be able to create these really organic, awesome communities of people that care about projects. And so that's what I do now is I advise on ICO startups. I advise businesses on how to transition their current play to add blockchain and add that technology so that maybe if they need to do a funding round, they don't have to go the venture route, they can do an ico.

And for those who don't know what an ICO is, would you just share that? Not everybody's like the lingo today.

The lingo. Okay, so it's an initial coin offering and we actually try not to say that because then that makes the SEC think that it's a security. But it's not a security, it's a token, a utility token. So we're basically doing a Kickstarter for a widget that is pre developed, but instead of it being the cooler. Cooler, it's actually something digital that you can do. Yeah.

And SEC is actually, I think, trying to get that ICO to be changed to some other term. Right?

Yeah, they don't like the ico. That's why we have to say token sale crowdsale.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And in the app that you're developing, would you say a little bit more about that? And then I also want you to leave a website where people can check out or you know, whether the. I don't know if the app is available yet or it's coming, et cetera. Just give us a little info on that.

We're going to ICO the app in February so you can go to Lolly L oly Co to register for the white paper or register for the presale or get on the newsletter so you can. When things start coming out, you'll be notified. Lol y co I am wowisme.net that's my personal marketing website. But pretty much just my name. Adrienne A D R Y E N N I think I Occupy the first 10 pages so you can find me pretty much anywhere. But Lolli is. I'm single, so I am divorced from the husband that I was married to when all this was going on.

Somebody said to me once recently, the Wasbin.

Yeah, the Wasbin. That's what I call him. My wuzbin. And so. Because I hate saying X because X is such a pejorative and it.

Yeah, we don't need X.

No, he's my co parent.

Yeah, exactly.

We co parent brilliantly. We're excellent friends.

So you know that's your ex, your excellent friends and former spouses.

Yes. There we go. That's a good way to put it. I like that. Thank you for that reframe. So it's. But I've been single. I'm tired of being single. But I was on Tinder and I swiped thousands of times. I've matched hundreds of times. I've had hundreds of messages with people. I've met three people in three years. In real life. Yeah, I was actually with the founder of Tinder, swiping in Lisbon, looked at the app, said, see, it says I'm in Lisbon. Swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe. Never got out of the United States. I'm like, so.

So this technology issue in real time.

If it can be broken, I can break it. That was actually one of my early jobs as I broke into banks for a living. So that was super, super fun. That was like one of my most exciting, most awesome fun jobs.

So you got to put hacker into your bio as well, right?

Yeah, I say former high tech priestess, little bit of a hacker. I can find stuff.

All right, so now I want you to go one level deeper on what this app is because I know you're holding back just a little bit. So don't be shy. What's this app for? Let's get at it.

I'm hooking up good girls and nice guys to have orgasms because that's really the key. So it matches based on sexual compatibility and communication style. We use a patent pending heat index. So as an explanation, you are not rated individually. You are only rated in comparison to you plus somebody else. So the two of you are rated because you can have a 10 and a 10 and together there are two. Yeah, it's not about the individual, it's about what's the connection gonna be like. And you can't really get past an eight and a half unless there's some long term potential. So even though I'm selling orgasms, I'm giving them what they want, which is potentially a long term relationship. And we have a lot of in app upgrades, so we have background checks, but we also have a matchmaking service. So maybe the person who's actually right for you is a whole town over. And geolocation wise, that's too far for the app to see. So we can actually hook you up and match you up. We have a whole nother level for celebrities because obviously they want to seek but not be found. You can't be, you know, like, oh, look, I'm standing right next to a single celebrity, and they're on the app. And, oh, look, we're a. You know, just walk up and go, hi. And show them that, you know, you're a nine on the Richter scale. That would be pretty awesome. So it's. I think that if everybody had an orgasm, we'd have a day, we'd have world peace. That's just my philosophy.

Well, our company's been committed to world peace for many years, and we were taking a different approach. But the orgasm approach, I think, is valid.

It's a sellable one, I'm telling you. And it doesn't have to be done in an esoteric way. It really is all about connection. I mean, they say you need a certain number of hugs a day to really thrive. Well, you're going to get some hugs if you're getting some orgasms.

There are studies on this, so not being tongue in cheek at all, but for men and for women, orgasms and multiple ones creates better health, longer life, better immune systems, lower heart rates, better immune systems, happier, more peaceful people. So, yeah, no kidding.

I'm telling you with every. And that's why. Well, way back when, back when Clinton was being impeached for a blowjob, I said, we need to institute the presidential knee pad program because whoever put their finger on the button, I want to make sure they're relaxed because that's. That's pretty important right there. So. And I keep getting dragged back into politics, and I'm still getting dragged back into politics, and I want to just stay. Stay nice and stay in sex because it is so much more fun here. Yeah, right. Sex and crypto. Can I just stay in my happy place?

That's going to be the liner notes for this podcast. Sex and crypto.

Sex and crypto. Yeah.

Why everybody should be getting into sex and crypto. That probably going to write that down. That's the one. I think that's the one right there. Come on. You're a master marketer. Is that okay? On a scale of 1 to 10, is that all right?

That's. That's awesome.

All right.

It'll certainly get clicks, Let me say. Let me tell you, right? Because I'm using crypto and I'm funding this whole startup with crypto that is going to lead to. I mean, we have, like, it says, 80% of women are faking orgasms. We have an epidemic of women not having orgasms.

80% faking.

Yeah. Men, you got to do your jobs and you got to tell when they're faking. Right? Like, you gotta. You gotta be able to tell. So if she's not. So you gotta read facial expressions, because when it's real, your face makes these micro expressions and these movements in your face, and you cannot control that. And it's like you make these funny faces and you can't control it.

So face reading is a science. I met somebody the other day who's a face reader. So this is no joke. You guys can Google face reading so you can start to become better face readers. Which, you know, the FBI, the CIA. Face reading is a big part of criminology, right?

It is. It's micro expression. So I actually learned from the woman who teaches the FBI, the CIA, the nsa, all that, yeah. Body language. And. Yeah. Face. It's interesting. So it makes dating impossible for me, which is really. It's tragic because I really want to have a boyfriend. But at the same time, like, even when they don't speak, I'm, like, watching what they're thinking, which sometimes is good, and sometimes is, like, really? Seriously.

That's what's on your mind? Really?

Right. Really, like, just ditch the hesitation and the inaction and just, like, go for it.

All right, Adrienne, last question. What's one ritual or daily practice that you use to keep you. Keep you feeling great and doing great.

Things in your life and orgasm a day. Yeah. Or two.

And that's a ritual for you every day? Absolutely.

Absolutely. Every day. Every day. If you're not. I've read a study. They're like, once a week. I'm like, how do you function? Like, how can you function right? What? There's no every day good? Every day?

Thank you. Thank you for inspiring that and every. Hopefully every single person listening watching this.

I would prefer partner every day. That would be even better. But barring that, you know, take care of yourself.

Well, we're all working on things, so this is good. Thank you so much. What a blessing to have you on the show and everybody that is listening watching. If you haven't driven off the road yet, hopefully you're still on the straight. On the straight road. I want to just remind you again how important it is that you take care of yourself. If I could wave a magic wand and I'M waiting, I'm waiting for spirit to put that magic wand in my hand. And I feel like I have it at times because this platform and other platforms have been blessed to be a part of, have given me that opportunity. And it is a sacred one to wave that magic wand. I'd wave it in front of everybody so that they would understand every moment of their, of their day, how deserving they are of their own love. We cannot give anything that we don't possess. And our world is in need of love. I don't think there's anybody that would dispute that. And the way to that is to know love ourselves and to go back even further before that. So a domino before self love is self care. And what I think, Adrian, a part of what you're talking about is how do you care for yourself? What do you do to. To care for yourself that isn't either trying to control something or trying to sedate something. And drugs, alcohol and other things are sedated, sedatives. And so we sedate where we have pain and suffering and we don't want to deal with it, can't deal with it, or want to avoid it. And then there's that other part of us, it's sort of more of a male energy, which is about control. And cigarette smoking, interestingly enough, according to studies, is a control. It's not a drug thing, it's a control thing. It's not a sedating, it's a control. Because when you're taking a puff and you're smoking, you take that inhale, you're in total control of your life right then. So as opposed to having a control or sedate, the things that we haven't yet dealt with or integrated from our childhood mostly, and those energetic charges and the childhood experiences and even traumas, we can simply decide in this moment to love ourselves unconditionally. And to do that takes practice. And the practice is self care. And when you do that, you'll not only love yourself, but you'll trust yourself. In which case, from a business context and a personal context, other people will trust you. And we know that when people trust you, things just happen. Your business flourishes, your life flourishes in many ways you can't even expect. So today it's great that we're here, we're awake, let's be grateful for that. All of us together in this moment, as we're taking this breath, to realize how sacred a moment it is and then to repeat that. And tomorrow morning when you wake up, the first practice of the day, the ritual, the morning ritual that we teach and I share again and again and again, is that you wake up, you feel blessed to be alive in that moment, grateful for that breath and that you stand up. What a blessing that is. Put your hand on your, on your heart, or throw your arms up in the air and say, I love my life. I love my life. I love my life. And it's been a blessing to be with you all here today. And if you haven't yet subscribed to the podcast, what are you waiting for? Go ahead and subscribe so that you can hear all the upcoming episodes and join our community on Facebook. StartMyPivot community on Facebook is absolutely magnificent. It's glorious. People are really vulnerable and sharing things and supporting each other and just magical stuff happens. It's a fantastic space. So until then, I will say ciao.