Being Your Best In Challenging Conditions With Alex Katz

Welcome to the Conscious Pivot Podcast with international speaker, business mentor, best selling author of Pivot, and your host, Adam Markell. The Conscious Pivot shares the stories and wisdom of people who have successfully reinvented some area of their business and personal life. You'll gain powerful insights into how you can fully embrace new opportunities, increase your performance, and master the art and science of innovation and resilience. So please join Adam as he guides you on your Conscious Pivot.

Hey everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Conscious Pivot Podcast. I'm your host, Adam Markell, and I am absolutely feeling privileged, honored, blessed and grateful right at this moment to be here with all of you. To be, just to be honestly, there's so much going on in the world right now that is both beautiful and also challenging. And I absolutely believe that we are made better by our challenges, that we are made stronger by our challenges creates something for us, for the future, something to learn from. And at the same time, when we, when we lose something, it's also natural, normal and the right thing to do, I believe, to mourn, to grieve. And there's a, there's a certain element, I think, that's, that's happening on the inside for many of us, if not all of us that is grieving the loss of what was the world that we lived in a few months ago is not the same world that we're living in now. And I like lately to refer to it as the new abnormal. And with that new abnormal come lots of great opportunities, growth in ways we didn't predict, changes that I believe are in our long term and short term best interest, many of them. And at the same time as all that's happening, there's suffering and there's loss of jobs, there's loss of life, there's lots of things that again, we will mourn. And so it's a mixed bag for sure, but I am feeling more than anything, gratitude. And being present to what there is to appreciate is one of the greatest tools I have at my disposal any day of the week, any day of the year. So I am thrilled that I have a great guest on the show today to talk about some of these things because she, she knows full well what it takes to be, to be at your best in challenging conditions and to overcome mindset, a mindset that might get in the way of being at your best and performing at your best. And so we're going to talk today about resilience and holistically speaking, mental, emotional, physical, spiritual resilience. What that Looks like for my guest, Alex Katz. She is a certified personal trainer and get this, an American Ninja warrior coach. So we'll talk about that because that is way cool. Soon to be a certified nutrition coach, public speaker, director of neighborhood, director of neighborhood ninjas, and a mom to her amazing two rescue pups, Spartan and Ninja. And it says right here in her bio, are you noticing a theme? So I love that. That's really, really cool. Welcome to the show, Alex. It's a pleasure to have you with us.

Yeah, thanks so much for having me. It was a great instruction. Actually, I am now a certified nutrition coach, so we can add that to the list too.

I love it. We update the bio right now, make the change. What, what is not a part of the bio that I just read, Alex, that you would love for people to know about you at the beginning.

Yeah. So, you know, I would say I also do a lot of coaching around mindset and resilience, which you alluded to. And I work full time with kids in the Connecticut foster care system, working with not only high schoolers, but college students who are experiencing homelessness or complete separation from their families, but may not have ended up in foster care. And that's really my passion in life, I guess you'd say. It's really, there's, there's three things, you know, it's working with that population, it's fitness, and it's my dogs. So if you were to kind of boil me down to one sentence, those are, those are the three I love.

To just sort of, I don't know if you, you, you like to do this too, but just to sometimes when we can step back and, and see the larger landscape of connections between things, and this may not seem like such a big connection, but the other day I, well, we had, we had a puppy in our home because our daughter Lindsay and her fiance Connor came over with their new puppy. Hadn't seen him. They actually, this little fella they got when he was just only nine weeks old. And we are big, big dog people and lost our two big pups just about a year ago. He had a black lab and a Golden. And so this, this little puppy, this little nine week old golden, looked very much like our golden Duncan. And maybe a few days later I posted on LinkedIn an article about the correlation between how it is that dogs create their resilience and how dogs are these resilient beings and what that looks like and how us humans, how do we learn from that? You know, what's the example in those dogs that we can learn from. So I think that's a really interesting little synergy just to start between us here. What is it about dogs? I didn't expect to ask you this, but what is it about dogs that really. Well, I guess that you learn from, if that's even a thing for you. Would you say there's some learning that we can take from the pups?

Yeah, I love that. You know, I never really kind of put it in those words before, but it's definitely something that I think about. I actually posted about my dog yesterday, and one of the main things I said that I learned, actually from Ninja is just that gratitude. So when I saw Ninja, I was actually working a mental health event, and we were at this big fair, and he was in the adoption area. That was next to it. And there were all these dogs that were getting adopted. Right. And I don't know what it was, but. Right. He didn't fit the characteristics that people were looking for. He kept getting passed up. And I just felt so bad for this puppy. And I think it's similar to how I feel with kids in foster care, too, where it's like, sometimes the most loving dogs, the most loving kids are the ones that have the most trouble finding a home. Right. And for some reason, he clicked with me right away. He was so shy around all these other people. We clicked right away, and I knew I couldn't leave without him, but I didn't have the money for the adoption fee, but I knew it had to happen. And the rescue actually said, you know what? He's bonded with you more than anyone. We haven't seen this happen yet. So we're gonna let you foster him for the weekend so you can come up with the money. And so that weekend, I got really creative because I knew that I could not let this dog out of my sight. And so, you know, he's very different from my other dog. I've definitely had to adapt with how my life has been since I rescued him, brought him into my home. I'm so, so grateful for him every day. You know, even things that people might get annoyed about, like dogs waking you up with the giants. Slurp up the face. I love it. I absolutely love it. Right. Because it's all about how we look at the things that are happening in our lives. You know, this morning, he woke me up by looking me up my nose and then in my ear. And I could have gotten frustrated and annoyed by that, but instead it's like, look, he's showing you love. Right? And that's the other thing I love about dogs is just that unconditional love. No matter what you do, if you're having a bad day, whatever's happening, they're there, and they always seem to find a way to be happy. That's the other thing. Right. Dogs are just always. They're always looking on the bright side. They're happy to be outside, happy to see a squirrel, happy to see you. And I just love that. And I try to bring that energy into anything that I do.

Yeah, I remember that one of the things I podcasted about right after we lost Duncan was the fact that he. He. He was always so present with us and always happy in that present moment with us. In fact, you know, we could have forgotten to feed him. And the moment we walked in the house is like, oh, you. He wouldn't be upset. He wouldn't hold a grudge. He wouldn't bark at us. He just would, you know, be so thrilled that we were there. And then, of course, you know, we take care of him. But there's just something about that unconditional love that you get from a pet, from animals. I don't even so feel comfortable calling them pets, honestly, because there's something about the. How that just feels to me. I don't. I don't put that on anybody else, but they are. They are living beings. They are sentient beings, just like we are, and they have brains and they have memories, and they feel. So it's. It's a. There is a lot I think we can. Can learn from them. So thank you for sharing that with us. Yeah. So here's this person who is drawn to. To rescue animals and kids in foster care. I mean, I really want to understand better what the foster care connection has been for you. Is there. Is there something that goes back a ways with that?

Yeah, no, definitely. So when I was younger, I grew up in a very abusive home and never actually ended up in foster care, but I should have been, right? The Department of Children families got involved several times. I was experiencing homelessness on and off from an early age because my parents were just kicked me out of the house randomly for. Could have literally been. I could come home and the locks were changed and I had no idea why. Or it could have been something where, you know, I got a B plus on a test instead of an A. It could have literally been anything. And so growing up in that environment was really where I learned resilience. Right. That was kind of my first exposure to it. And by the time I was graduating High school. I was half living out of my high school locker room. I still have pictures of it. And it was funny because I was actually a varsity track athlete. So I was really lucky that I got the big varsity locker and I was able to stash everything in there. But my teammates thought that I was just really messy, so they were making fun of me a lot. I actually broke the door of the locker because I stuffed so many things in there. And for me, that was also a really big lesson that I work with my kids, basically, to let them know that you never know what somebody else is going through. And so to them, this locker was messy. To me, it was, well, I'm trying to cram all my possessions in here. So by the time I graduated high school, I had actually been accepted into the University of Connecticut. I knew that college was going to be my way out. So despite everything happening in high school, I worked really hard. I applied to, I want to say, 63. That is the number that I've stuck to to this day, 63 scholarships. And I received maybe 10 of them. And I still give that example to my kids as well, because I want them to know that you're not going to always get the first thing you apply for, or you're going to have to fail many times before you see results. So I applied to 63. I got 10. It was enough. It got me into college. And so when I left, I left for good. That was it. And so it's been over a decade of not having contact with my parents. And so when I went to college, I was surrounded by all these students who still had that contact, who still had somewhere to go for spring break or for Thanksgiving or winter break. Right. And so I was learning how to navigate college without anywhere to go, without that family support. And it was difficult. I'm not gonna lie. It was really difficult. There's also that feeling of everybody else has something and I don't. Right. So I had to figure that out. And during that time, I became really passionate about wanting to help other students. It took me a while to figure it out, and then I said, you know what? This isn't just me. I think one of the biggest issues is when people feel like they are the only ones going through something, right? We talk about this all the time with mental health. You feel like you're the only one and you're alone, and that makes it worse. And everyone's so afraid to talk about it because they think they're the only one. But when they do talk about it, Amazing things happen. So by the time I was graduating, I reached out on social media and said, hey, I want to start a club. Does anybody else fit these categories? Similar to what I was going through and learned that I wasn't the only one, and there were other people struggling. And so I said, you know what? I want to come back and work at this university and create a program for students in my situation. So I went on, got my master's, and then in 2018, I came back to actually run the program at UConn, working with high schoolers in foster care, and created another program for the college students who are in a similar situation, navigating homelessness, food insecurity, etc. So that's kind of where that came from.

Wow. Yeah. The. I didn't know you were a Husky. I didn't see that in your bio. That's cool.

And a Husky employee.

Yeah. Randy and I, my wife and I, we went to UMass Amherst, so we're in, you know, that New England Sports League. Absolutely. Ninja Warrior. All right, so this is. On the one hand, we're hearing about you and your giving ness does, the way you serve and the sensitivity. And then there's this other aspect of you that you are indeed a Ninja warrior. So for folks that don't know what that is, I'd love it if you'd explain it. And then, of course, we have to know, how is it that you got into that? Because that is just so rad.

Yeah. Thanks. So, Ninja Warrior, for anyone who's listening at home and doesn't know, oh, my gosh, how do I explain it? It's like a mix of. Of gymnastics and rock climbing and obstacle course racing all in one. I definitely recommend checking it out on NBC. And there's no way to really explain what it is and what it actually is like to do it. When I first watched it on tv, I remember seeing Casey Catanzaro, who was the first woman to really make leaps and bounds in the sport. I remembered watching her do it and thinking, if she can do it, I can do it, right? And I think pretty much everyone has had that thought at some point. And I talked to so many people that watch the show and think it looks easy, and I did, too. At the time when I first watched it, I was bodybuilding, I was powerlifting, I was doing Spartan races, and I was like, I can totally do this. This is fine. And I went to try it, and I sucked. I couldn't do anything. I was scared of heights, I was scared of water. When you train in a gym, there's no water, but you are very high up and you're above mass. So I remembered thinking, I'm strong, I can do this. And then just getting in my head and being too afraid of the heights or my body didn't know how to move the way that it would have, say, if I did gymnastics growing up, right? A lot of these moves, you're doing what we call lachaise. So that's where you swing from, let's say a bar or a small object or really anything. It could be anything. We like grip in this sport, but you swing and you fly through the air maybe 5ft, maybe 8ft, maybe 10ft, and you have to catch something else. So it's all very upper body intensive. A lot of trusting yourself. And so one of the big reasons I got into it was because I realized I had this deep, deep fear of heights and water. And actually a lot of it was trauma related for me on both ends of it. And I'm very big on pushing yourself past your fears and being more than whatever it is you've gone through. And so I said, I have to do this. So I started training and I learned how to kind of reframe all of that in my brain. And I think I was scared for a while, for the first couple months. And then I got really annoyed with myself. And I'm like, you're so strong. You could be such a good athlete, but you keep getting in your own way. So I was really tired of letting my fears define me. I kept having conversations with people saying, I'm strong enough to do this, I could totally do this. I'm just scared. And I felt the need to qualify everything and make excuses. And your brain doesn't know what's real and what's not, right? So when you tell yourself, when I'm telling other people, oh, well, I'm scared. The more I said that, the more scared I became. And the second I flipped that script and I started telling myself every day that I didn't care and I was not scared and I was stronger than my fears, things actually flipped in my brain. I told myself I wasn't going to make excuses anymore. I wasn't going to even tell anybody that I was afraid anymore and just do it. And it takes time, right? You don't rewire your brain overnight. But over time, that actually did become my reality. And now I've been doing the sport for about two and a half years. I've competed in the world championships three times now. And I'M now a coach. I run a Ninja Warrior nonprofit. So it's definitely become a really big part of my life. And, you know, I'm so grateful for the sport because I think it's helped me grow mentally in ways that I never even imagined. The community is so great, and it really. It's really that idea of chosen family that, again, in any sport that I've ever done, I've never felt this level of community. You know, we're all competing against each other. There's rankings, right? You want to get the fastest time, you want to go the farthest, but at the same time, we all cheer each other on, we all help each other. So if I just fell on obstacle five on a course, and there's another girl who's going to go after me, and she's worried, I'll say to her, hey, I fell because I made this mistake. Don't make this mistake. And she might actually beat me. She might actually go farther than I did. But that's kind of the way that we are in this sport, where that doesn't matter. We just want to help each other, which I think is so, so cool.

Wow, that is amazing. I remember seeing American Ninja Warrior for the first time a few years back and just being blown away. But unlike you, I looked at. Said, that's tough. I was like, yeah, I could handle a couple of those things, maybe. I don't know, but that's really tough. So that's just incredible. I'd love to get a sense of where it is that you. When you said earlier that you reframe things. How. Where is it that you reframe things on a regular basis? And the reason I'm asking you is because part of our. What is our theory about what creates resilience? And there's a lot of things, of course, that contribute to whether a person's resilient or not. We've looked at in research and data and just in my. My own personal experience and the experience of people on our team, for example, that there are three traits of really resilient people and organizations, generally speaking. And these three traits are. Start with the ability to reframe situations. So I'd love to get your perspective on how you define that.

Yeah. So I think that reframing looks different depending on what else is happening in your life at the time. Right. And so for me, as a kid, when everything was going on, I wasn't labeling it as reframing. I had no idea what it was. Right. But I had all these things happening you know, I felt like my parents didn't love me. You know, the message I was getting was like, everything you do is wrong all the time. And for a little bit, I actually believed that, right? And you see that so much with kids who grow up in the system or grow up with abusive parents. And at some point I said to myself, hold on, wait a minute. That's. That's not you. There's a theme here, and it's not you, right? And I think that was my first experience with reframing, but I just didn't know what that was. And then when I got to college, I really had to. You know, I was a psychology major, so I was also learning about how the brain's working and everything and really being intentional with that and learned about choice theory. And for anybody who's listening, who doesn't know about choice theory, this changed my entire trajectory, because I'm not gonna lie, I was definitely struggling with my mental health, you know, coming out of all of this, trying to adapt to college as a first year student. And then choice theory came into my life. And basically the idea is that a lot of times we have a picture in our heads, right, of how things will go. So let's take this quarantine, for example, and. And the loss that we're feeling. So maybe we had a picture of how our high school graduation was going to go. Maybe there was a trip we were about to go on. Maybe there was something that you were looking forward to or something you were doing. And now that picture has changed, and the picture that we have in our heads doesn't match our reality. That leads to a lot of cognitive dissonance, a lot of feelings of distress and despair. And so sometimes we can change that picture. The picture.