Creating A Life And Business You Love Through Self-Care And Success Habits With Tiffany Peterson

Life happens, and not always the way we expect it to. Every single day we face change, stress and uncertainty. What if you could learn to thrive no matter what life throws your way? Resilience expert Adam Barkel and his inspiring guest explore breakthrough strategies to fully embrace change and build the resilience required to become change.

Proof. So today you are in for a treat. Always in for a treat, right? But I just absolutely adore this person who you are about to get access to. Her name is Tiffany Peterson. She is speaker, coach, a very successful podcaster, and she is passionate about helping others live their life with intention while implementing key success habits to create thriving lives and thriving businesses. And she's got just a ton of wisdom and insight about business, about sales, about so many things that you're going to be thrilled you made the time to listen to. So check this episode out and enjoy. All right, so since I already know you have, just read your bio for everybody. But, you know, people might call you Tiffany, but I'm going to call you Tiff. Is that okay?

Yes.

Because we know each other for a minute or a minute and a half or something. So I want to ask you, because you speak publicly, you've been a facilitator and a presenter and content curator and creator for so long, you hear your introduction often. I know. I just sort of cringe when I hear my own introduction these days. Like, oh, God, cut that down, shorten that. It's just like, just, you know, cut to the chase or whatever. What is not part of your bio, something that you would like for people to know about you?

I think what's not always so present all the time to just the first glance. Right at first meeting someone. Like when you rattle all of that off, like, oh, you're a professional speaker and coach and podcaster and you watch someone's social media. I think what most people may not know at me at first glance is that I have such a tender heart. I'm a little sensitive being. And I don't know if that always comes across because again, much of my own social media, there are times where I very clearly will share a very open, authentic post, is that it's easy at first glance to be like, oh, she's so confident, she's so put together. Or he's so confident, so put together. Or all your highlight reel. Right. Like social. But I think sometimes what we don't see, maybe in myself or let alone in one another, is also like, every human is a very tender being. I remember I worked for Stephen Covey for years the great author of the popular book the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. And in my corporate days working for his brand, I remember he would remind us regularly and in his material that people, no matter what front they give you, are really tender beings. And I think that's just good awareness for myself. I didn't know what you were going to ask me, and I just went with what was authentic is that the reminder that even people that seem so confident, so put together, and while that's accurate, it's also not the whole story, right. And that humans are tender creatures. And I definitely fall into that. So.

Oh, that. That really resonates with me. I'm sure other people are just going, yeah, we don't, we don't often sort of marinate in that, in that aspect of ourselves that much because that, that tenderness can be scary in a world that is, is. Is sharp and hard and cold and, and difficult in some ways. So you, you think. I think early on in life, at least again, my experience, having been kind of a small kid for many years through elementary school and things got bullied, wasn't chosen first, sometimes last, you know, and in the games and stuff in the schoolyard or whatever and that. And I was. And I was like a tender kid. My parents told me that. I remember that about myself. I was just, you know, was quiet. Who would have thunk it, right? But that tenderness wasn't met well with. In the world I was in. And I grew up in Queens, New York, in this little suburb of the city. But I think it's the same everywhere that sometimes we learn early in our lives that tenderness is something that other people might manipulate or use to their advantage or used to hurt us. So we develop a bit more of a tough skin. And now you've been in, you say work for the Covey Company, and I know you worked, spent some time with Jack Canfield's company and you've been on your own for about 12 years successfully and all that. So you've developed your own tough skin, I'm sure. How do you. I'd love to get a sense of is. Is there a way that you harmonize between those two things? I don't want to say balance because I don't believe personally in the way balance is used often. Like, you know, it's an like equal amounts. Like, I wouldn't, I wouldn't season my food with the same amount of salt as the same amount of pepper. So, you know, when you think about how to balance work in life or how tender we are, with when we're stronger or whatever the, you know, that other side of tenderness might be, it's more harmony. So I'm curious how you've managed that.

Well, it's been evolving, right. For years. Is that. And there was when I worked in corporate, I mean, I definitely had a lot of, at times more, you know, what I'd call masculine energy. And I think we all have masculine and feminine energy and they're both very incredible in and of themselves and then combined. But I mean, there's times I'm a fierce woman. I mean, I know how to make things happen and like, boom, take take control of a room and make, you know, like. And that is valuable in certain times too. But I think what's helped me with the tenderness is a lot of a deepening of my own self care. I know self care is a big buzzword and it's trendy and it's out there on lots of memes and quotes. And I'm a big proponent of that kind of work. Self care, self love that really it's like choosing to show up for myself in deeper ways and giving myself the love, the need, the validation that I am seeking often from the world. If I give it to myself, then my tenderness is rooted. Because when my tenderness is maybe not rooted, that's where you're a lot more like you're saying fragile or vulnerable. Tenderness can also be quite powerful. Right? It is like that sweet flower, that invitation where you are like, you know, you are dropping into some of that. But showing up solid for myself, not perfectly, but consistently. And I have a question that I really, really love that I model often for coaching clients or I have shared online as well. And the question is simply this, what do you need, sweetheart? It is very tender, like meeting your cute little grandbaby before we clicked live. And seeing that little precious soul is like in a few years when your grandbaby's 4 and 5 years old and has gone maybe too long without a nap or wakes up from sleep in a bad dream or something, and that four or five year olds being a little fussy, we pull them on her lap and say, what do you need, sweetheart? And I find that for all of us, no matter our upbringing, like you in Brooklyn, me in Salt Lake City, Utah, right? And wherever people are listening all around the world, all of us had great things growing up. And we probably all had some tough things growing up. Some people had some really tough things growing up. But no matter our childhood or our parents, even if you had phenomenal parents, grandparents in a very thriving, solid network, or if you didn't have any of that, we all get to learn how to, quote, reparent ourselves, right? As adults, we get to learn how to be better at let me show up and meet my own needs. But we come into the world so dependent on other people taking care of us, which is, you know, so great part of being a tribe and family and family traditions. Yet at some level, it's also. It's like choosing to show up for ourselves. What do you need, sweetheart? Right. And so for me, that tenderness has really helped me come to a place where it's like I also can allow myself the space where I can be more intentional of how I show up for myself. That helps me. Where I look at that tenderness now is I feel so much more integrated within my feminine and masculine energy. But also, like what you were saying, balance. It's just more that. It's like I'm a powerful creator and I'm a tender soul, right? And I'm just. The experience of that. It's like giving myself permission for both has made a huge difference.

That's such an important thing right now because there is some level of, I think, confusion even in how. In how we show up that often we're sort of pretending in some ways and using. Using. Using a sort of an approach to solving problems or in leading other people that isn't necessarily congruent, not really sort of who we are. Because if we were to show up in that way, you know, maybe people wouldn't take us seriously or wouldn't listen. I think this is more prevalent with women that I've interviewed and even in my own home with my W3 daughters that. That there is that sort of feeling often that you've got to be embracing more of your masculine side or masculine energy in order to get things done. But I think it's, you know, we. You think about the harmony of it, that the symbol for that in. Is the yin and yang symbol. It's not a symbol for balance. It's a symbol for harmony. So it's a way. How do you. How do you integrate, to use your word, do you. How do you mix those two things? Again, how do you mix the ingredients together when you're making. Cooking something or. Or mixing, you know, your hot and cold water to get it to the right temperature? I think that's what we're talking about is finding out for yourself the right. The right mix of those things. And when you said, you know, about how you take care of yourself, advice that I've given to people, both men and women especially go getters like I work a lot in the corporate world, people that are on career paths and people that are running companies. And you know, it's like the KPIs are do or die, the numbers are do or die, right? From quarter to quarter and all that kind of thing. It's like I say to them, be gentle with yourself.

Yeah.

And it's not easy for people to be gentle with themselves.

We have to learn it because I know I did. That's what I'm saying. It's been evolving and progressing where I definitely there's the capacity of like taking action. Right. Which is masculine in nature. But for both men and women it's like, yeah, if you want to get things done, you've got to take action. You want to make things happen and so forth. And I can also come from, to your point, a more harmonious way that it's like I also, for instance, it's like I show up first for myself. The years I worked for Covey in Covey leadership, we would have these leads come into the sales floor and those leads were generated. One lead source came off of an online quiz people would take and the quiz would give you feedback to your private victory versus your public victory. I worked there for eight years and in eight years, Adam, not once did private victory come in at a higher score than public victory. Not one time. That means what the feedback is. People are much more likely to follow through, honor their commitments when it's to someone outside of them. Right. Like my boss. And I've got to show up for my work and I've got to show up for other people or for my church assignment. I'm going to be great at follow through for everyone else. But true leadership starts with how well are you leading yourself? And that's private victory, right? Is it how well am I taking care of me versus those KPIs or that sales team or your direct reports or your boss and other departments. And while all of those things are valuable, of course it's not either or. It's and, and it's how do you raise those scores? So people would, we'd, you know, enroll them if they wanted to move forward into a coaching program and we their scores would raise significantly where their self trust was so much higher. I'm a big advocate that everything you want to create manifest, whatever you want to call this, create manifest or achieve next, is directly tied to your ability to trust yourself. Do I trust myself? Is my word honorable with Me, right? Sometimes it's like, hey, I'm going to work out and read the books or do the things and go to my yoga, do my meditation. I'm going to do the things to invest in me. But often when people's lives get busy or busier, it's the first thing to go is their own self care habits. Where ironically the busier you are, the more that's coming to you, the more you're going to need that time to nourish your roots. It's just from whether again you're corporate, self employed, for profit, nonprofit, all the humans I work with around the world, literally when we come back to some of these core true principles, it's looking at first self leadership, which is am I in integrity with me, do I take good care of myself, not perfect care, right? Because the perfectionist is a real gnarly animal that you never actually live into or live up to, but it's truly choosing into like I'm well nourished again. The question I like to also ask myself often is does this nourish me or what nourishes me would be a great question for your listeners to look at and do some journaling to body, mind, heart and spirit. What nourishes me and that you honor yourself and honor your word is often we're out looking for everyone else like do you see me? Do you validate me? Do you, you know, want to promote me? Do you? Am I acknowledged by you? Am I worthy by you? Am I good enough? And it's like how about you start giving that to yourself, right?

Those are externalities that, seeking that, that the love, let's say the acceptance or something that's outside of ourselves, which is, you know, I think it's a road that we all have to, to kind of come to that understanding that, that that's not where we're going to find what is true love or true acceptance. We will find it first by understanding that it's important to us. And often something like our own self worth is established when we're very young and people aren't. They're sort of older folks in more grown up clothing and shoes and everything else, but yet still their operating system is still that of that seven year old kid trying to get the approval of a mom or a dad or somebody else. So this, this kind of self exploration is so important. So I loved when I was on your podcast and we were having similar kind of riff on this kind of stuff. You know it from what you said earlier, it's A bit of taking action and then taking care. That's how I would Yin and yang that male and female, you know, frame that based on what you said. Take action because we all know that that's how things do happen and that energy is important. But then you also have to replenish your energy. We have to have even more energy now than probably ever before given the rate of change and disruption. And that's a segue for me into talking to you about change because I know that's really important to you and I also want to, I want to at some point have you tell us the 4Sws story and you could do that now or we could just launch into a conversation about the. About change, your choice.

Well, we've that in I think what matters too because again, I love this conversation around how we show up for ourselves and then how do we show up for others, right? Because to me, when I look at Yin Yang and people, I'm most often hired to help people grow their sales. An organization, a team speak at an audience or an individual coach coaching clients situation. But a lot of those sales again is like how you show up and nourish others, how you show up in relationship. I mean that's what sales are, is an exchange of value in relationships. And so looking at that again starting out first with yourself is I really just like to look at both of those things because as you're facing change, right? Or you have different things that you want. Ironically, one of the ways that I help people, they hire me to grow their sales. And our very first coaching session is all about self care, which is phenomenal. And you might think, well wait a minute, how self care and sales. Wait, just let's get into scripting, right? I've written lots and lots of scripts for lots of people. Lots of training on what we call question based selling and you know, sales funneling and branding and yes, we get into all of that. But everything's first energy like you were saying and when you just said we need the energy more than almost anything else, your energy is your gold mine. I remember a sales trainer said to me once years ago, the person with the most energy wins that. It's an energy game. Sometimes people make it about time management like I'm busy. Well, everyone's busy, right? Busy, busy, busy. Not enough time, not enough time, not enough time. But it's more. So we've all had the experience where we wrap a workday or we leave an office, physical office, wrap up our work, we head home and we might even have three or four hours. We could technically work on our goals or do some other things, but we're just cooked, right? We're fried.

Exactly.

And so working on that book or getting out on that hobby or going out for a run or a bike ride, you might do it. But a lot of times it's like, wait, I'm just cooked. I'm laying on the couch, I'm scrolling my phone, I'm watching some Netflix. No judgment on any of those things because I enjoy those things myself at times. But it's often more about the energy conversation than it is even about time. And so I think just when you said that, it's like, yeah, we want to show up. So whether for some of you listening today, this is more for you personally or this is for your business or for your sales team, it's realizing those habits for yourself and the people you work with is, are we, you know, being living into alignment with those. And so, yeah, I just, I love that conversation around, you know, again, how we show up for ourselves and how then we show up for others because they're directly interconnected. And it's fascinating. Some of my coaching clients will start out with week one and we just get them literally even a few days into living consistently some of their self care practices before we even touch their sales scripting or sales funnel. And their sales will start to pop.

Yes.

And it's like, wait, we haven't even done any sales training. We've just lifted energy and now magnetically, it's like, ooh, because that energy is palpable. And it's like, oh, I want what he's got or what she's got. It's like, ooh, tell me more. Yeah, let's do this deal or I want to hear your presentation or let's go to lunch or whatever the case might be.

I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna invite you to come in and be a guest facilitator. We do speaker training and these are folks sometimes that are our company leaders. Sometimes there are people that have the dream of getting on a TED stage or doing kind of what you and I do do, keynoting things like that. But one of the first things I tell them about this, that environment is that you're managing energy. Like that's the job of a, of a speaker or a trainer is to manage the energy. And then I share something really similar to what you just said, which is that the first thing that we have to do is manage our own energy. You're not going to Be able to manage the room's energy, manage other people's energy until you manage your own. So starting in that place, when you start in that place with your clients, while it might seem like, yeah, let's. Let's tell me. Just tell me how to close.

Close more.

Tell me to ram my numbers up. Right?

Magic phrase. Give me the magic to help me close more sales. It's like, well, that's part of it. That your energy behind the question matters the most.

Exactly. So the silver bullet, if there is one, is really that. That self mastery, the management of your own energy. And then ultimately how it is that you do create a context and a container for. For conversations to happen that are empowering to people. And you can do that virtually. You can do it one on one. You can do one on or one on 100,000. I mean, once you get the dynamics right, you understand the dynamics, the numbers are just a thing. Right. So change. Principles of change. You were so kind and had me on your show to talk about this book called Change Proof. And I want to get your beat on change because I did a lot more of the talking that particular day. I just want to call out that. You're the only person I've been interviewed, I don't know too many times to count at this point in the course of the marketing and promotion of this book, but it's been a lot, a lot of interviews. No one's ever commented yet other than you on the. Do you remember what you commented on? The first thing you said.

It's not even page one. It's your lead out. There's a statement you say which I think is worth repeating. That's so profound.

So you brought that up. So the dedication is to all those courageous enough to embrace the unknown. Yeah, and I just tiff. I literally. I was in just. You had me there. Like, I was like, whatever. Whatever I can bring to your people today. Because that. That really had me thinking. You had me thinking about that more. And so what does that mean to you? What was it about that statement that that had. You want to call that out?

Well, because, I mean, truth telling, like, sometimes when I'm in a really good emotional state and I'm like, grounded again and I'm feeling all positive, and when I'm facing the unknown, I'm like, oh, good, life's just great and I'm excited. And then a lot of the time, though, I'm white knuckling the unknown. If I'm right, I'm just transparent. Let's have real Talk Camry, because that only serves all of us if we're real. When you let out with that around the words courage and the unknown, you know, synced up together, it was like, yes. And to acknowledge that in people because the reality is, as we know, change is the constant. I love also, you know, from working from my previous days as well, back forever ago was, you know, there's three constants in life. Change, choice, and principles. This change always happen. We always have choices, right? How will I choose to respond to different environments, feedback? How will I pivot another great book of yours? It's like, how will I respond? I have choice in the matter. I remember years ago when I first read one of Jack Canfield's books and worked for his brand for a few years as well, and then went through some of his training and then did some sales training for his company. I remember he was the one that introduced me to this very simple life formula that says event plus response equals outcome. The E plus R equals. Okay. And when you think about it, it's like, yeah, you have all kinds of events otherwise called change. Right? Change plus response equals outcome could be your formula specific to your world and language. And so why I loved the beginning of that book is just because at times, again, seasons of life. I'm loving the unknown because so much of magic is created there. It's like the dark soil in my garden in my backyard, and you plant the seeds and then you nourish it and water it and wait for the magic and the blooms to come up, right? Like my peonies right now are in full blown in my yard and I just love them, you know, and then gorgeous flowers at the time. This recording, it's June, and so it's gorgeous summertime here in Salt Lake City, Utah, where I'm based. But I love seeing that. But before we see the blooms is this whole like, oh, you're in this dark soil and you know, you're planting and you're nourishing. Well, we're just like that too, as humans. And so sometimes the unknown feels magical. Like, ooh, what's going to come? What's this going to look like? I'm creating. I'm intentional. I'm. I'm a sculptor. I'm an artist of some kind with our lives. And I'm intentionally navigating this blank canvas, this unknown. And then there's times, like I was saying, it feels like I'm freaking white knuckling that thing where it's like, oh my gosh, what's happening? Change here, change this, change that. And even here's the irony and I'd love your perspective to this. Even when sometimes the changes that I've set out for that I want them to happen when they're happening because it's still moving me outside of what's familiar can bring up my nerves, my anxiousness. Right. And that fear and courage is the, is the opposite right of the fear or is takes fear by the hand and says we move forward anyway. And that's what I loved about your opening statement is just the unknown is like yeah, the magic happens there. But it also being a human and a human that craves to some degree or another familiarity or certainty. And to dance in this area of the unknown and really enjoy the dance and enjoy the experience does require courage.

Yes.

Change is there regardless. It's just how we choose to interface with it.

And uncertainty is the new certainty. Right. It's the thing that we all are experiencing in larger quantities than we have in the past. And I think that's got people wigging out a little bit white knuckling it more and exhausted. Because frankly when your body is, is geared up for what if scenarios, it's geared up for when the is going to hit or could hit the fan. It's in this sort of hyper vigilant, adrenaline coursing, cortisol creating state that is tiring. It's just flat out exhausting. And people are, there are people I think in every area, every industry that have been been lucky enough to, to get to know and be a part of. I find the same, the same exact things happening. And the crucial missing piece it seems is this idea of, of how we truly care for ourselves. How, how do we learn how to be gentle with ourselves. Like it's a miracle we're here and not to get too woo about it. Right.

But that's true.

It's literally a miracle. Not just the miracle of creation. You know that sometimes I heard somebody talk about this, you know, it' one little sperm, you know, that swam upstream. You know, when everything, you know, like every odd was, was, you know. Yeah. Like one in a billion chance that you'd be created and you got created. So, you know, your life is literally a miracle. It's also a miracle that we're still around. There's a bazillion ways that things that could have taken us out, you know, to this point because we're. Look how thin skinned we are who are so physically vulnerable to a hard environment that we live in and so to just somehow forget all that in the midst of what we put ourselves through, often to get the job done, or to please other people, or to somehow make a mark or make a name for ourselves, we are shortening in many ways, we're potentially shortening our lives. I think there's evidence to suggest that that really is the case, but we're also reducing the level of our own capacity. And I only say that because for me, if I didn't have, and I'm going to ask you this, if this rings true for you too, if I didn't have to sleep, I love to sleep, but if I didn't have to sleep, I wouldn't, I really wouldn't. Because there's so many things that I want to do and experience and places to go and people to meet and all that takes energy. Yes, to do those things, you have to have energy. But people somehow think that if you just keep running on an endless treadmill that never seems to end, that you barely give yourself breaks from, you know, from one thing, that somehow you're going to have the capacity, the energy to, like you said at 7 o' clock at night, just start working on your first book or some other thing that you're, you know, or sitting down with your kids, you know, and being really fully present with them at 8 o' clock when all you, all you really feel like you're capable of doing is, you know, melt, melting into the couch. So I mean, do you, do you feel the same way that there's just, there's a lot you want to accomplish and you've got to manage your energy, creates routines and rituals to be gentle with yourself for that to happen, 100%.

And I think again, it's getting really clear and then decisive, right? And we make decisions to like for me, I decided years ago how I start my day and my day starts with some mornings is more rich in depth, but at least the beginning of every day I start for me some prayer and some readings and meditation. Sometimes it's five minutes, sometimes it's 35 minutes. But that every morning starts with what you might call a morning ritual or, you know, different teachers call it different things, but where there's some nourishment first and foremost with myself and just getting connected, similar. Like I love your statement, I love my life right as you lay in before you even like move on into your day. It's like a, that's an anchoring, powerful habit that you have that nourishes you and that sets your mind also and your heart in alignment, right? With what you're choosing to think and feel and believe. And so there's certain habits but deciding, right? Everyone knows the irony. The thing about most self care habits is they, they multiply back to you tenfold or even, or even double for you the energy. And that's what again what we're after is not always the time. So sometimes it's like oh I have time to work out but for me every time I get off a bike ride or I get off out of a yoga class or off a walk or something, I never regret that like oh man, it was a waste of time. Never feel that way. If anything it gives me more energy, I get more done when my self care habits are there. And so getting clear and decisive about again what fuels you Body, mind, heart, spirit. On my website tiffanyspeaks.com, there's a couple of free downloads people can tap into if they're interested that walks you through the grafting out and the designing of body, mind, heart, spirit, what I call core four habits, right? And look at those real energy giving, life giving habits. And so some of our habits they give or, and our choices give back to us. Some of them our habits deplete us, right? So it's being clear that what nourishes you, if it nourishes you, that's a giving back to type thing. So for you it might be your you know, meditation practice. Meditation gives back to me and especially right I forget who says this. It's maybe it's roomy or maybe it was the Buddha or wherever it's quoted but says you know, if you're busy, meditate for 10 minutes a day. If you're really busy meditate for an hour a day. But you kind of like smile and chuckle at that. But the reality of like the grounding that brings to you. And so whether again meditation, it's reading, it's exercise, it's time in your garden, doing things off your joy list, right? The things that give you life and that multiply you that they're prioritized and there's truly decisions like how are you going to start your day? And the easy thing is once you decide that then you don't have to decide every day. It's just decided this is how I start my day so I don't have to that decision fatigue and using energy like do I get out of bed and do that? Do I, do I not? If I feel like it, I do it, if I don't feel like it, I don't. And then it ebbs and flows versus this is how I start my day. Some form of nourishment. And so coming to that in what you're talking about is. Yeah, it's so true. It's just often the challenge is making those decisions. So then those habits are here. But I'm with you is for you. I mean, I do love to sleep and I'm a really good napper, actually. I know not everyone's a good napper, but I know how to nap.

There's actually an art to the nap and I think for the nap. Right, the art of the nap. That's a great book.

I'm really good at napping and snacks. I mean some of us, like you said, you know, it's like we walk around wearing these business suits and we're pretending to be grown up, but we're really just kids with longer legs.

Right?

Yep. There you go. There's your snack.

Yep.

But some of us are just kids with not much longer legs grown up. But I do think for me sometimes where I I wish sometimes I literally could like take like a tiny packet of food fuel. That's like awesome. And it's like I've just eaten a full healthy meal because I do love to eat. I love a good meal when I can sit down and enjoy it. But when I'm in like, hey, I want stuff to do, but I want to eat good and clean and I want to eat nourishing foods. That takes more time. Sometimes I do have meal prep support here in my home to help me with that because it's like I need that fuel. But for me sometimes taking the time in the day to like eat. I know a lot of people probably listening to, they skip lunch because they're just moving to the next thing, the next thing, and we're just on the go. And then without preparation though, I can easily, you know, you're taking, you know, drinking too much coffee or eating the sugary stuff or the whatever, like for the quick fix versus that to me, I feel you is sometimes. So sometimes I do. It's like if things get more busy when they're busier, then that's when I up my self care support. Where other people might help me with say again, like meal prep or in care and things like that.

Well, I mean, I think it goes back to this, this idea of self knowing thyself. Because when you, when you know yourself, when you explored yourself, when you're interested in knowing yourself, you know, you're not scared of that, where that leads. And it can be scary, just to be sure, right. And you start looking inside, you're not quite sure at the beginning of that process what that's going to look like. I didn't start looking internally until I was in my 40s and it was the result of this kind of faux heart attack, or my wife likes to call it a fart attack, you know, back in the day, kind of like that. Yeah, you know, so I ended up reading this Scott peck book, this Dr. Scott Peck amazing book called the Road Less Traveled. And it started me going, going on the inside. And that is scary because you will find things there that you haven't thought about before, including, you know, the traumas that we all experience in childhood and whatnot. But when you're focused on your self awareness, then you get to know yourself and what helps you. So for example, when you think about energy, often not many people kind of ask themselves, does that mean I should be or shouldn't be around other people? You say, well, take care of yourself, go to the gym, go do something that's going to nourish you and build your energy up. But it's like if you're an introvert, and this is sort of a broad statement here, introverts. And I'm an introvert, I gain my energy more in a solitary way or with just a couple of people. Most. But an extrovert, like my brother, for example, he goes to a concert, he wants to be in a big venue with a lot of. And he's just, that's what fills him up to be around a lot of noise and a lot of activity and a lot of people. So you know, that's, that's a self awareness thing. If you know that about yourself, you can choose an appropriate way to recharge your battery. Hydration is a big deal. Again, I'm not going to go down a few of these little holes here, but often it is that we think we're hungry. I know when I think I'm hungry. The first step I take now, not because in the moment, like with my mood, my mood is I'm cranky, I'm low energy, my stomach's growling, I go, I need to eat. That would be my reaction. But knowing to ask a few different questions. Like in this book, I talk about pause, ask, choose. So I pause and I ask, am I really hungry? Do I really need to eat now? Or is it possible that I'm just dehydrated and that water would create more equilibrium for me? And more often than not, and this is something People can try on their own for sure. Just gulp a glass of water, take a glass of water, hydrate your body and then see if a half hour later you haven't seen that restoration of your focus and your energy and whether or not your stomach is still screaming at you to, you know, put food in me kind of thing. So I would love to get a sense of your some of your rules tiff because you are, you know, yourself, you've done this, you've been working on your own exploration and that helps you to help other people. It's really difficult to lead anybody when you are not self led. Is that a fair statement?

For sure.

So I would love to get a sense of some of the rules that you have when it comes to, you know, you got a lot going on. You're you know, juggling like we all are and you're an entrepreneur and you know, pulled in various right directions. What are the rules? What are some of the rules or even one of the rules that are sort of not negotiable for you in terms of how you take care of yourself.

I love this question. I think one of the things we talked about already is that the way I start my morning, I'm very protective of that and that I start my day with that kind of clarity and intention. The other thing too, one of my key rules is energy really is the discernment. For me, it's the barometer of is this light me up. Is this a hell yes. It's a full yes. I want to do this. This feels good, right? It's an energetic like I'm leaning in towards it versus the resistance or the should or you're trying to talk yourself into it. The discernment on that is that the joy really. I know that can sound so, you know, life coach y but it's true is that, hey, the joy really is kind of My discernment is how much joy does this feel like, you know, that solid. Yes. That full Yes. I want to say yes to this because I in life, a lot of where times where we're challenged is we're saying yes to things we don't really want to do or we feel guilted or should it now some life, there's just stuff you got to do as part of the job or the role or the life. I mean the garbage has to go out, the laundry has to get done and either you or someone else is going to get that handled or the reports have to get done for work or the office. So some things it's not to say that everything is going to feel like a blissful experience. But when we're saying yes to different commitments, groups, invitations and so forth, it's just like when Randy reached out and said, hey, we'd love to have you on the show, I was like, oh, hell yes. That's a yes. Because your energy and I just love being around you. So that's not a, like I don't even know what time it is right now. It's just we're in this experience and I'm loving it. And so for me, again, the energy is often what leads my decision making and similar to you is I was much more. I'm still extroverted to a degree, but the older I get, the more introverted I am where I want more alone time to recharge my own batteries. And so really those rules too, of protecting that time in that space where it's like, hey, I can also give myself the ability to say no, right? Because I'm clear when I'm saying no. I'm saying yes to time and energy. That is a full yes. And so the more that we're clear on our key priorities, I think it's easier to navigate what's a yes and what's a no and really being aware because when we're not clear, it's kind of like if you're not clear but you know, and again, this open calendar and you might have an open evening, you get invited to this thing and, or you don't want to miss out, you know, the FOMO stuff and all of that. And it's like without clarity, it's really easy just to say yes to and be what we might call reactive versus proactive, right in our decision making. And so for me, energy is a big part of, quote my rules and my rituals and my choices is does that person, does that project, does that experience that more time? I've had, I've been self employed now in my 12th year and at times I've learned this. You know, in the beginning it's like you'll take any business, right, Trying to make money and revenue and like yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. With now some time and discernment and wisdom. Energy, not money, makes my decision making. So if there's a person sometimes I've been approached about to do something with and it's, you know, I'm always grateful. It's never out of arrogance, it's just out of alignment as there's been times where I've turned down contracts or opportunities or things just because it Wasn't the full energetic. Yes. And so not now. The energy, even more than the money, makes the decisions of where are we spending our time and what projects and what people and what groups or things that I'm exploring. That to me is a big part of how I'm my compass. Right. We might call it my compass in decision making is how does that feel? What's the energy of it? Is it again, nourishing and multiplying or is it draining regularly? We all, as part of humans, have experiences and things we do that might, quote, drain us, deplete us, or they're not our favorite thing to do.

Yeah.

But if on repeat, spending time in that certain group or that project is just regularly like, oh, wah, wah, it's like, yeah, I can't afford that energetically.

Right. Wanting to be affected, not infected.

So true.

Interesting. Well, you know, to me, the this is, as you said, it can sound a little life coachy. I love the way you put that because these are things that we sort of know but yet we choose to ignore a lot of the times or we feel. We don't feel like we have permission often. And again, just because I'm often dealing with or working with leaders of other people, which is a great, great privilege for me because my own impact is extended, then if I'm able to help somebody lead more effectively. And one of those things is that permission is not always seemingly granted to do this. What we're talking about here sounds good. They might even have workshops. They might even hire me or you to come in and help to show them, share it. But the permission isn't really there. Have you noticed that?

Yeah, you're bringing this up because sometimes that's. I coach a lot of women. Some men too, for sure. I have a handful, but it's more women than men just because of the nature of the audiences I've spoken a lot into and referrals and all of that good stuff. But I'm glad to hear this comes up too. It's for men and women. Is this power? The concept of permission is that we're often waiting for permission. And women especially, they are unlearning some of that because they were trained to wait till you're picked, wait till you're asked, you get chosen. And there's therefore some of that permission work. But I think for men and women both, it's just like again, the pressure then for the man too is like, hey, well, who cares if you like it or not? You got to provide, go to work, get it done. Make it happen.

Suck it up.

Suck it up, bud. Who cares? And it's like, ooh, gosh, that just makes my whole life soul. Like, ouch. So I do think it is more though is again versus waiting for someone else to give us permission, right? This is where we come back to giving ourselves the permission to at least even explore the landscape. How happy am I? Where am I at truly in my, my fulfillment, my contentment? What are the few things or lots of things that would again, just a lot of life and a lot of our joy and fulfillment is, does come through the little things, right? Like the time with the grandbabe or watching a sunset or early morning coffee and reading a good book as the sun rises, you know, and you're doing the things that often they're the littlest things that many times cost money or cost or require a lot of time, but it's just coming back to taking ownership. And that permission to say, I'm going to really look at where I'm at and what do I want more of and am I in alignment with what is working well for me? Not perfect, but man, I'm feeling well nourished. I'm feeling more vivacious and energetic and truly, more often than not, excited about what I'm about, what I'm working on.

I mean, we see it this, the exit or exodus even from jobs, which is so profound, it has been for many months now, the thing they call the Great Escape or the Great Resignation. On some level, it's a seeing or seeking a greener environment, a greener grass, right? That somehow or another there's going to be more out there. And I get that. And I think it's actually a really good sign that people have taken that action. And yet there's a part of me that goes, well, they are likely to find very similar things wherever they go. And I'm not being cynical and actually would love to get your thoughts on this too. It just seems like when the structures don't change, you could change your job and earn more money. And a lot of people have learned how to do that, changing jobs to increase their pay. But the sense that you're run down and out of gas and looking for, you know, looking for the exit ramp, you know, that, that, that's not necessarily going to change until other things change. And I'd love to get your, your, your sense of that. What do you think, what do you think has to change sort of organizationally or operationally for there to be a true, a true home that people can find Their home. We spend so much time at work. It is like a home. It's like a second home, or it's maybe the first home for a lot of folks.

Yeah. I love this question, Adam, because I think it's yes and yes. Meaning when we look at creating change, I have this graphic that's in my main keynote deck of looking at self, love or looking at success, that there's three major influences. You have environments, like you're touching on, then you have mindset and you have habits. But your mindset, your habits and your environments are shaping you directly and shaping your sense of self worth, self confidence, your success. So changing up an environment is a third of that pie, so to speak. Is it a big influence? It sure is. But to your point, if you take the exact same mindset and the exact same habits and place it in a new environment now, the environment has influence. Right? And it's like, man, I'm more positive or I'm more healthy, or I cuss a lot more based on this environment, or I'm in this space or these less whatever powers. That environment is powerful. So it's yes and yes. Is that by changing your environment, changing where you work be a positive outcome? Yes. And on the flip side, can just changing up where you go to work also lead you to the exact same outcome somewhere else? Because the mindset and the habits stay the same? The answer is also yes. And so it's looking at all three of those. Like the three legs on a stool is like, where's my mindset at? And my beliefs, my mindset, my ownership, my personal habits of how I'm showing up similar in relationships. Right. Like, hey, in one relationship. Yes, changing a relationship, that is a significant change and can absolutely be for the positive or it can be for more of the same of the past few relationships. If there are some things there for yourself you're not taking ownership for or healing that they'll show up again in another relationship. Right. Because if you're the same person with some of the things that in that environment you will also see similar outcomes.

Indeed.

So sometimes the right answer is to change the environment, lead a relationship, or to leave a job or a company. Because it's like, this is not an alignment for me. And so it's not either or it's. And also looking at, okay, really being clear on who I am, how I'm showing up, what are my habits, what's my mindset doing? So I'm influencing the new environment I'm stepping into.

Exactly. So that you increase Your odds of success if you're at least cognizant of the fact that it's not just environment. Because, you know, as the old saying goes, wherever you go, there you are.

You are.

I never get sick of that one either. I know, because it's so darn true. And it hurts sometimes. It hurts so good.

Oh, hurts so good.

So I want to know how you define resilience. Would you share that with me? Yeah.

So I love where I met Adam. Everyone was at this gathering earlier this year in April, and he did an incredible presentation. And I just instantly was like, oh, my gosh, I love what this guy's sharing. I love his energy, and I really love his T shirt collection. I mean, let's just be honest. You have a great T shirt collection. Doesn't everyone want Adam's T shirt collection?

Talking teas. There's a whole other business model there, I think.

There you go. I mean, run with it. But he was asking us this question on resilience and, like, what have you learned in the last two years? You know, and it was a great reflection point, and it brought me home to, for me, the resilience of learning, you know, to trust myself more so. Right. And to come more in inward and to lean into the self. Trust and the principles where I really just felt the sense of a stronger sense. This was the imagery and, like, the. The feeling that came up for me was this concept of like a really solid, sturdy tree trunk was kind of the feeling in the imagery. Right. Sometimes when that comes to you, the way that you're processing and learning. And so for me, resilience has a lot about coming home to your roots. Right. Roots and resilience. To me, I think you talk about resilience and rituals. Right. And the power of that. But for me, coming home to my roots and to me, that's coming inward with myself, with my relationship with God, with my spiritual knowing of different things and trust and like, you know, just coming home to that sanctuary where you can't always prove it, so to speak, or touch it, but you can feel it, and there's some knowing there. So to me, that's really. Resilience is about a sense of coming home to those kinds of principles and that kind of truthful knowing.

Yeah. I mean, to me, this is obviously personal, not. Not something that everybody will agree with or would adopt. But I definitely. I think if you're at a point in your life where you've not explored creating a spiritual practice, and I'm not talking about. I'm really not talking about religion here. And plenty of people are observant and have sanctuaries in those, in those houses of worship, which are absolutely wonderful. I just think that for me, the greatest gift that I've ever given myself, which didn't happen till my late 40s, was to create my own spiritual practice. And that is my. Not negotiable. That's the rule. It's very similar to yours that it begins the day my grandmother. I got my grandmother's voice in my head from time to time, and she says, leave the house on the right foot, she would say. And I think about that in so many other contexts, just how important it is that you just, you lead with the right. The right foot, lead with the right energy, lead with the right thought. And so starting your day, why would you wait till mid. Till midday to, you know, like to think about what you want or, or how, how you're connected to the, to the world, to other people, to. To spirit or wherever, you know, wherever it takes you. It really is an exploration and it's. And it's so. It, it's just what you said. It is so rooting. It feels such like a home that's. That's within me, that has nothing to do with the home I'm living in at the time or where I am in the world. And, and that's important for somebody that travels and speaks and, you know, I find myself like you do in various, you know, communities and places that I've never been to before. Some I have and some not. You know, to be rooted, to be so grounded and rooted. It. It's not about where we are. It's about. It's about who. Who we are and how we feel. That. Yeah.

So good.

So I don't want to force it, but I just have this in my head about these sws.

Yes, let's talk about that.

Should we do that?

Bring us home. But.

Okay, cool.

A little bit of perspective. The 4 SWS stands for some Will, Some Won't. So what? Someone's waiting. And sometimes when I'm on a panel or someone's show or at times certain. It depends what I've been hired to speak on for a group we'll wrap with this particular principle and story because it's great life advice. It's great sales advice. Right. So whether you're more personal or formal work business. But when you think about sales, what's the big, often resistance people have about sales or selling? What would you say that is? I'm just curious your thoughts like why do people struggle to sell at times?

To sell or to be sold to.

To be the salesperson. To be the salesperson, put themselves out there.

You have more experience here than I do. I think people have a very difficult time with rejection. So they don't like to be told no. Really.

Right. And I get it. It's like you're putting yourself out there. From whether you're inviting someone to lunch or you're inviting them to take a look at your product or to come out to your gathering and so forth. And so sales. Right. That sense of we're putting ourselves out there. And for most people, if I ask them, are you passionate about your product or your service? And they'll likely say yes or they wouldn't be doing it. Right. And again, I mostly spend, I spend more time in the self employed entrepreneurship work. So people, they've chosen it, it's their business or part of a business and it's really personal and passionate to them. Right. And I'd say, okay, but what's getting in your way of making those sales calls or reaching out and often exactly. Just this fear and this resistance. The fear of what will people think of me? When you think about what most fear comes back to some fear of fear of failure. Well, if you tried it and no one ever knew you tried it and you quote, failed, would you care? A lot of it again is how am I being perceived? We're doing image management and I don't want to feel rejected a lot of times the irony with fear though is we're just afraid to feel the feeling we've all been rejected and lived through it. Right. And I also like to reframe rejection that you're technically usually the same. Like if, let's say I say, adam, do you want to have lunch with me tomorrow? And you say no. Or maybe you don't even respond. You just heard radio silence right? Now what really matters is all the story. I make that mean in my head. But if you tell me no, well, technically I'm in the exact same, not worse off is I asked you to go to lunch tomorrow and you said no. And you weren't having lunch with me before I asked you and you're still not having lunch with me after I asked you. So I'm exactly the same. It's in my mind, I think, oh, I make it personal and so forth and so. But as humans, it's very common to feel nerves or fears around selling, around putting ourselves out there. You coach also people to help them with public speaking. And, oh my gosh. And sharing and so forth. So that's just a little bit of backdrop with this story. Because how I came to learn this, some of you have heard this phrase before. Again, some will, some won't. So what someone's waiting is the reality is as you share yourself more, more people will say yes. There will be people that will say no, or at least no. Today, it might be a timing issue. They might need more trust or timing. And down the road they'll hire you, call you, book you, buy from you. But the concept of the so what, Right? And then someone's waiting. Well, many, many moons ago, I was brand new to sales. Never in a million years did I think I'd be in sales. Adam. Right? Like ever. Like how many of us when we were 8 or 9 or 10 years old thought, when I grow up, I hope I'm right.

Yeah, right. That's great.

And neither were your parents. Your parents are everything. When Adam grows up, if he ends up in sales, he's arrived. Yeah, right. No, you were going to be in a lifeguard and an attorney and much more noble things in society than a salesperson. Right. So there's a lot of mindset to that and backdrop not understanding that being in sales is really our ability to communicate, to solve problems for people, to provide solutions. Right. To help serve them and take care of their needs. People who are great in sales are simply truly just great at relationship.

They really are.

They ask questions, they show up, they help you get your needs met, they help you identify your change, your problems, your needs, and they help you get those needs met. Right. Really, when you think about being great in sales, we all had a story. I grew up in Utah. I thought I was going to be a traditional classroom based teacher with special needs. I worked in three classrooms over two years as an elementary, had classrooms with kiddos with different challenges, kids on the autism spectrum, down syndrome, behavioral challenges. And I supported the teacher as an aide while I was doing my own education at university. For me personally, I thought I was going to be a traditional classroom based teacher. I worked in some different classrooms here in Utah, supporting the main teacher as an aide in special needs classrooms. I've always just had a soft spot for that. And I thought I was going to be traditional trained classroom teacher. And then I thought I was going to get married and be a stay at home mom and raise three babies and sew Halloween costumes. Right. Like that was kind of the vision for my life. And my life looks very different. I have put dogs in Halloween Costumes, I'm sorry to say. Like I've become the woman I used to judge. Like you guys, they're an animal. Do not dress them up. But I've done it a few times, Adam. I just thought we'd get that out there in our friendship right now.

I should have known that.

I've outgrown that. It's not happened in the last few years. But anyway, the point being I never thought I'd be in sales ever. I was going to be a schoolteacher and then raise babies. And again, not understanding the power of what that really means. When you're great at sales, you're great at relationship. Well, here I am on a by happenstance, a double date in college and I meet this, the woman and the other couple. Her father owns a training development company and I was fascinated by it because again, I loved education and we're learning and so forth. Well, within a few months I'm working for this firm and I'm learning the ins and outs of training and development and very entry level position and started that, became aware of Franklin Covey and within a short amount of time I went to work for Franklin Covey, right. Which has then put my life on a totally different trajectory. But I went to work for them in sales, right. Entry level position, calling cold leads, right. And just learning the process of selling over the phone coaching programs. Now this is back in like 2001, the beginning of that. So this is when you're still explaining to people what a coach is, right? It wasn't the mass adapted buzzword that it is today. But here's what happened my very first week of training there. Keep in mind I'm in a brand new job. I'm like 23, 24 years old, never going to be in sales, have no real sales background, but I'm super passionate about the seven habits and super passionate about true principles and education and all of that. And we're starting selling for this, these leads calling through just really cold leads. And we've had sales training. There's me and three other sales people learning. We're going through a training class together and I go through my little script and I'm talking to lots of people and I go through my very first script. Five days in on the job, talking to a woman named Beth, lives on the east coast. We're having this nice connection and we get to the end of this presentation and I invite her in to join this coaching program again with Stephen Covey's work and she says yes, my first yes, right. It's like that first kiss and you're just like, you know, if you're a.

It's a big deal.

Yeah, big deal. And get me signed up and how I'm helping her. And we sign up and I'm like on a high. That's on a Monday. One week, full week into the job, I get my first sale. It's now Tuesday, the next day. And like most things in anything in any industry that you buy, you have a time window to return it. Right. And in this case, you had three days to cancel your coaching program for a full refund. 3 day rite of precision. So it's the very next day, I'm on another presentation. I'm on a headset. It's inside sales in an open cubicle environment. And I'm on another presentation when I get this notification from customer service that Beth, my very first sale, has decided to cancel. And I was just like defeated. I had no mindset training. So I'm thinking, what kinds of thoughts? Things like, where did I get this wrong? How did I mess this up? Again, this is a straight commission scenario. So you have to close sales. There's no draws. And I'm just heavy in that funk, in that mindset and thinking pretty. Like, even for me, the most potent thought was, ooh, Is the thought like, maybe I'm not cut out for this. Maybe I don't have what it takes. Yeah, I don't even like saying that because I just feel like my eyes want.

Oh, yeah, you're getting me. I mean, that's a funk. What a great word.

And I just. And when we're in those kinds of thoughts, they show up in our body and our energy. And so imagine how my body energy looked. Open cubicle environment. I'm totally deflated. I'm thinking thoughts of, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I'm cut out for this. This is maybe a bad omen. It's a sign because my very first sale cancels. This is not good. And here comes my boss, who's just walking the sales floor. And he went on to become a very dear friend and mentor. But I didn't know him well at all. A few days in on this job, he was former CIA with the United States government, and he was very. His energy was very crisp, shall we say?

Crisp. I like that.

And just like he's walking the floor. But again, because energy is so palpable. Do you think he can pick up on my energy 100%. So he walks by my Desk. And he pauses at him, and he steps back, and he looks at me and he goes, what's up with you? You know, really just kind of basic. Again, I'm 23, 24 years old at the time. I mute my phone because again, I'm on another presentation. And I look up at him. He's standing. I'm sitting at a desk. I look up to him in these big doe eyes. I look at him and I say, my sale canceled. And he looked at me, and he grabbed my yellow pad off my desk, moved it towards him, grabbed the pen. Big bold strokes. He writes this, underlines it, pushes it back to me, and guess what it says, so what? Yes. But I was like, are you serious? Again, I'm this young girl who's no corporate experience and all of this stuff. Anyway, it was a state change. It woke me up because I. Part of me, I wanted to burst into tears. It was this ironic crossroads of. It snapped me out of where I was because he was like, hey, so what? And I thought part of me wanted to take the path of, I'm going to burst into tears and cry and in my mind, tell the story. This is the meanest man I've ever met. Like, what an insensitive jerk. Are you kidding me? This is a really big deal, bud. Really big deal. My first sale canceled. I'm in the. The funky funk. The other part of me, the other crossroads was like, I'm so pissed off. What a jerk. Like, I'm going to give him. Are you serious? But it just snapped me out of this moment that I'm forever grateful for. Because in that moment, he cared more about mentoring me than he cared about comforting me. And that's great leadership and great parenting sometimes, right? It's just that willingness is. Because where I was going is I was full on planting seeds in the zip code of discouragement, right? And some of the best coaching advice I've ever received comes, of course, from my mama, right? And my mom would say this to me at different points growing up. And every once in a while, I still hear it because I'm still growing up. But she would say this to me. She'd say, you know, tiff, if you're going through hell, don't stop and build a house there. That's so good. And so while we all visit the zip code of discouragement, it really matters that we don't put in a pool.

There or dwell in that plane.

And so we all can be discouraged. I just was really discouraged. I had no mindset training. I Was banking my whole career though, and literally thinking thoughts. Maybe I'm out of here. Maybe I made a huge mistake to take this position. Like, this is straight commission. I don't know if I'm cut out for it. Maybe I can't hang with it, but that mentor. In that moment, State changed me. So what? And it felt so cold because part of me, what I really was expecting him to do was like, again, those big doe eyes, I expected him to be like, you know what, girl, get off the presentation. Let's go get a diet Coke and a brownie in the cafeteria. We're going to love this out of you. I thought I was going to get coddled because that felt like support instead of true mentoring. And truth telling is that it was an eye opener. I went on to be the first female in that company's 15 year history to be what they call a top 10 performer. I quadrupled my income in a year. First time ever being in my early mid-20s as a female in Utah. Okay, making six figures, that was massive change for me. But it came from me changing my mind and changing my belief. And so again, sometimes when people say, if you could only share one piece of life advice or sales advice, it is those four SWS that some will and some won't. So what? Someone's waiting, right? That fourth one is there are people that are absolutely looking for your program, your product, your service, and they're looking to work with someone like just you, right? That it's like, oh, okay, this is the right fit. But the willingness, right? That lesson of truly of persistence and mindset, how we see it. And so I do love the 4 SWS. They're here in my office. They remind me of that lesson. But it was one of those crossroad moments really where in my own personal growth. And it was intense for that moment. But it was such a window, if you will, a shift of state of changing my thinking. And it's like, so what? Okay, so a sale cancels, a contract falls through, or you're dating someone and they decide they don't want to date you anymore. Different this and that. And while you have definitely I wouldn't maybe be a is so what? Like be gentle with yourself like we've talked about. But also realize that life and sales success, it's not about the most attractive person, the smartest person, the person with the most, you know, the best Ivy League education. It's so much of life, sales success, relationships have to do with the willingness and the persistence, right? It's Like, I'm going to work through the challenges. I'm going to keep moving forward. And so that was one of those moments for me I'm forever grateful for, because I don't think I'd be here with you today. And all that I've experienced and what's been created, that was one of those foundational life lessons that I've visited many times. Not just that one time, many times over where I've had to say, shake myself, you know, dust myself off. So what, okay, we're going to keep moving. Someone's waiting or new project or new opportunity, you know, those types of things that you get to practice.

I so love that we had the time to get that, to get to that, and really just happy that we can land the plane right there because it's a beautiful spot. I would love to have you on the show again. I'm sure that's what we're gonna get is feedback from people, our listeners and everybody. So we'll work that out because I think there's a lot more ground for us to cover. But you are amazing. I love being in your energy. We did. We became very fast friends in that, that short period of time. But you just know, right? I mean, it's just like a. You get to a point in your life where you do just know, again, is this somebody that. That will give me energy or is this somebody who's taking energy from me? And I don't have a lot of. A lot of patience or time these days for people that are energy suckers. It's. I want to be with people that I do feel filled up by and I'm a giver, so I'm happy to do my share of it. But I definitely feel more than full from what you shared today, Tiff. And I know everybody else has gotten just tremendous value out of this. So the show notes, for those of you that are part already have subscribed and are used to this podcast and our format and everything, you can find more information about Tiffany Peterson and her work and everything she's up to in our show notes. There'll be links there to make it even so much quicker to just find out more and get access to her podcast and the genius that you've already just experienced. And of course, we'd love to get your thoughts, your feedback, your questions. You can pose those to me or to tiffany. Go to AdamMarkel.com podcast to do it there. We'd love to get a review and all the good stuff if you know somebody that and I'm sure we all just know somebody that would love to be hearing some of what Tiffany shared today, including that last story. I mean, that's just epic. So feel free to share this episode with your friends and your family and others too. Tiffany, thank you again. Thanks for being here.

Thank you, my friend. I love being in your space and your energy too, and such fun connection. Plus snacks, right? It's like good energy and good snacks. I mean that's always going to be a yes.

Good snacks. Yeah.

Thank you sincerely, my friend, for the good work you're doing in the world. It's a joy.

Okay, bye for now everybody. I so love that conversation with Tiff Tiffany Peterson. She's a badass. I mean, just in the greatest way to me because she's got this wisdom and this insight and this really wonderful vocabulary, wonderful languaging that she uses. You could just tell how seasoned the speaker coach facilitator she has worked at becoming because it is so just evident. But I love where our talk tracked today. I mean we talked about self leadership and how it is that we develop self trust and why that is so important as a way to ground ourselves, to root ourselves, to be able to start our day and continue our day in a powerful way. And these are such tangible things. We talked about self care and even though it's as she said, life coachy some of these concepts, I think she really helped us to bring those things to life and how tangible they are and how non negotiable they are in our busy, busy lives and the lives of so many of us. Whether you're working in an organization, leading other people or you're leading an organization of your own, you're an entrepreneur, whatever it might be. It's just so vital today that we have enough energy that we are able to replenish our energy and raise our energy to meet the challenges of the moment. Meet the moment where it is. And where it is today is it is disruptive, it is velocity is ever increasing. It is changing so rapidly and that is not likely to change. That is only likely to increase. So to learn how it is that you light yourself up, that you are able to recharge and reenter, energize yourself is so fundamentally important. We talked about the great resignation and how it is that, you know, in this world right now that we're living in, we can change our environment. And often that's a good idea for some people to move on and change their environment. But if you don't change your mindset and if you don't change your habits. It's a bit like, you know, one of the legs of the stool, the three legged stool is missing and then we know how stable that will will make us. She told the 4 SWS story, which is just, it comes at the end and it's such a beautiful lead up to it. So I would hope that you'd listen in the entire episode to find it. But I'm just going to let you know that does come at the end. It's absolutely breathtaking. It's amazing. We talked about how it is that we can learn how to be tender, tender beings or honor the tender beings that we already are and how to be gentle with ourselves and how vitally important it is. Yeah. This is just, this is a talk that I think is gonna, is gonna resonate with so many of you and we'd love to, of course, you know, hear from you about it. But for now, I want you to just sit back and enjoy.

Thanks for listening everyone. We hope you now have even more tools and greater insights to build resilience and become change proof. Help us inspire others by by sharing this episode and leaving your comments over@adammarkelle.com podcast for more resilience tips and strategies, including support for building change proof teams, visit AdamMarkel.com BecomeChangeproof.