Day 1 of the 5-Day LIVE I Love My Life Challenge with Adam Markel

Foreign. It's Adam and Happy Monday, Monday, wherever we're finding you right now. Welcome to the I Love My Life Challenge. Five beautiful days, five days that we get to spend together, really diving into this concept, making it come alive. What is it like to really love your life? I'm going to share a lot with you throughout the week about my own personal journey down this path. But I'll just start with a bit of the origin story right now and I want to welcome everybody again. If you're on Facebook watching this live, it's just great to have you with us. It's great to have you be part of this community. This is not a lecture, I'm not a professor. This is an interactive experience. This is something that we get to co create together. This is something that we get to experience as one, individually, each of us, of course, but also as one. So I want to say thank you so much for joining this community. Thank you so much for sharing your love with everybody else that's a part of this group. If you're not in the actual challenge group, the I Love My Life Challenge group, you can find that as well on Facebook and we'd love to have you join us. And of course, if you know other people that could benefit right now at this time in their life, at this time in the world by getting support, by being a part of a community of like minded people as well as like hearted individuals, then feel free at any point in time throughout the week to invite them to come and join us and, and we'll dig in together. So it's not that many years ago, I mean at this point, maybe 12 years ago, that I used to wake up in the morning, as we all did this morning, and put my feet on the floor. And the first feelings that I had at the beginning of the day when were feelings of anxiety, of anxiousness, of agitation is another good word I'd say to describe how I was feeling at the time and even at times of dread. And I was in my, I would say mid-30s when this started to happen, when this began and I didn't know what to make of it, it was confusing to me. I had so much to be grateful for. Was married to my college sweetheart. In fact, I'm still married to the love of my life since we were in our early 20s, so we're married a long time now. We have four healthy kids. I had a lot of really good things going for me. I was a lawyer, I owned my own law firm. I was making a lot of money, had A lot of pressure, a lot of responsibility, of course, as many of us do, and four young kids, so that's so much to be grateful for. And yet I would start the day and put my feet on the floor and feel these very strange feelings. And if I'm being entirely honest in this moment, I think part of what I was also experiencing and feeling was that I don't know if I liked myself that much. I don't know if I respected myself all that much. And I, I don't know if you can relate to that. But throughout what we're going to be doing over the five days that we're together and maybe beyond, I would love it if you would comment. Please go ahead and put your, your comments right here in the chat so that we can all see and we can all experience exactly what's happening for you. But together again, we're individuals and yet we're collective. We're also coming together as one. So I have no doubt that whatever I happen to say, whatever comes through me today, that it's, it's something that that's I meant to say and it's something maybe that you're even meant to hear. And so to admit that, that I didn't necessarily like myself at that moment, at that time in my life and since, yeah, I want to get that clear. I have those moments even to this day where, where I question things, I question my, my motives and I question things at times. And we all come from that place of feeling a bit insecure or feeling as though we're, we're maybe not living up to others expectations of us or our own expectations of us. That's the place that I was coming from. So you asked me at that point in my life, do you love your life? I would have said it, you nuts? I don't even know if I like my life. I mean, parts yes and many parts no. And so I'll get into the story a little bit more in depth on a subsequent day. But I'll just put it this way. I was miserable. I was unhappy at that point and I wasn't really able to even admit it to myself. And I had some moments where, where I was really confused. And I remember sitting around watching TV over the weekend, watching a movie that I had seen many, many years ago. I don't know if you've ever seen the movie Jerry Maguire, but Jerry Maguire was one of these movies that, that to this day I, I just absolutely love. And there's a character in the movie, it's Jerry of Course, Jerry Maguire himself. But he has a mentor in this movie, this old guy. His name is Dickie Fox. I don't know if you remember Dickie Fox, but. But there's this one moment in the movie where Dickie says, in truth, I've had as many failures in my life as I've had successes. But I love my life and I love my wife, and I wish you my kind of success. That's what he tells Jerry. And that's the advice. And I remember sitting, watching this movie and hearing those words wash over me and knowing in that moment that I wanted to be like that I wanted to be like Dickie. I wanted to be able to love my life even. Even if. Even if my failures or my mistakes outnumbered my successes. Even in any of those circumstances, I wanted to be able to say what that man said. And so, even though I didn't feel that way, I questioned so many things about my direction and my path and what I was doing and why I was doing it. I decided that I was going to say those words. I was going to say those words like I was Dickie Fox. And the next morning I woke up and I said those words. And that was the birth, if you will, the birth of this child, this little baby that we call the I Love My Life Challenge, the I Love My Life movement. And so I just want to say that part of what we're doing here today, what we're doing here today and tomorrow and all the way to the end of the week is that we are coming together as a community. And one of the highest intentions and goals that our company, More Love Media, has had in producing this beautiful book, the I Love My Life Challenge workbook, and coming together for this five day challenge is that we create a community, that we come together to have a conversation, that this allows us to have a conversation about what's real and what's true and what's happening in all of our lives right now, that it becomes a movement of sort. Because the things that we're going to be going over, the things that we are working on collaboratively together, are things that can change not only our lives, but the lives of people around us. And I would dare say they can change the world in a really positive way. And so I feel very grateful not only to have this time with all of you each morning, but to be supported by the team that I've got, our More Love Media team, with our partners and people that work with us all over the globe and with the publisher of this book as well. Which I'll just quickly shout out to Sourcebooks because they saw the vision for this, decided they wanted to produce this workbook, 28 days to work at something that might create massive, lasting, transformational change in people's lives. Not every publisher is down for that kind of a journey, but Sourcebooks and my editor, this beautiful woman, Meg Gibbons, and K. Berkner, who is part of this group, people that you're going to get to meet and collaborate with, they saw the vision for this. And one of the most important things in our life lives is that when we have a vision for something that we not only share it with other people, but that we attract and invite even others to come in and support us in seeing that mission realized, to see that vision come to, to fruition. And so you are all part of that, you are part of this team now, this extended global team of heart centered leaders, of servant leaders, if you will, that want to see the world shift further in the direction of love. And so we're going to talk about what that means today, we're going to set a context for the rest of the week. And I'll just say that one of the most important things that I learned years ago was that the change in many ways is about learning new things. I'm a lifelong learner, so I love to learn new things all the time. I hope you're with me. You know, if you're a lifelong learner, go ahead and put it in the chat right now comment. Because I think it's really important that we understand that learning is something that we never stop doing. I think the day that we actually stop learning in many ways is the day that we begin going in the other direction. And I think we realize that right now our world has to shift. It has to shift and go forward. We've got so much disruption, it's been so much suffering, there's been so much pain in so many ways. Things that were truly came out of, you know, out of the dark, that came out of the unknown, that have caused us challenges. And we really have to be able to move forward. That's what resilience is all about. That we have to be able to move forward and be able to love and contribute love in the world in any circumstances. And so being a learner, being a lifelong learner is so much a part of that. But yet at the same time that I know that learning is so vital to my own growth, I know that unlearning is also just as important. There are things that I know I still need to unlearn things that were taught to me early on in my life or that I observed or that I made meaning out of that I still have to unlearn. And I think that's a part of the process for everybody. So I challenge you all this week to not only be thinking about what can I learn in this context, what can I learn in this work group and in this community, but what can I also unlearn? And there are three elements to any form of change. When we want to make any kind of change in our life, we have to realize that we first have to become aware. And I think one of the great parts of what we're all coming together to do is it's elevating our awareness, it's elevating our consciousness. And that's the first step in making any kind of a change for me. Putting my feet on the floor all those years ago and feeling that anxiety and feeling that sense of I don't even know whose life I'm leading. I didn't like my life. I wasn't necessarily proud of myself in so many ways. And at first I just had to become aware of that. It didn't feel better. It didn't make me feel better to be aware of something. In fact, sometimes that old expression, you know, ignorance is blissful is a truism because when we're unaware of things, well, we don't have to change anything or we don't know what to change. So awareness is. Is. Is both a blessing and it's also a challenge. So first we have to become aware, and then we have to understand why. Why are we the way we are? Why do we think the way we think? Why do we feel the way we feel? Why do we resist or hold on? Why do we not forgive? Why do we not love as fully and unconditionally as we're capable of? Why? It's a great question. And you know what? We don't have an answer always in the moment. And I'm not pretending to be some person with all the answers. I'm not going to be a false guru to you or to myself or to anybody. I think the answer is in the question. We cannot. And this is more my belief than it is something I could prove to you scientifically. But I don't believe we can ever ask a question and not receive an answer. There's a cause and effect relationship between your questions and your answers. You plant something in the ground and something will grow. We ask a question, we will receive an answer at some point. So asking the question why is so vital to our understanding. And lastly, we've got to. Then, once we are understanding more, we are aware more, we've got to then realize that reprogramming is necessary, that we've got to relearn or unlearn certain things, and then we've got to reprogram ourselves to think a little differently, to see things differently. Because when we change the way we look at things, as. As Mr. Dyer said so many years ago, when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at, the things we look at change. Wayne Dyer said that when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change. It sounds inspirational, it sounds motivational. It is, but it's also true. Everything is up to us. How we see everything, how we see every situation in our lives is entirely up to us. In fact, it's the only great freedom that we have. It's the one freedom no one can ever take from us is our perspective, the way we see the world, the meaning that we give to things. And I can tell you right now that we can choose to see things in our life as a blessing, or we can choose to see things in our lives as a curse. And I will say this too, that it's fundamentally the case that our minds are creating our reality constantly, that our minds are so powerful. I'll never forget when I was first making some changes, small changes in my life. I started reading Napoleon Hill. I started reading authors like Emmett Fox, and Emmett Fox is a metaphysical teacher. I started reading things to help me to change my perspective, to see things a little bit differently. And. And one of the things that I remember reading and then ultimately putting to memory was this statement. I ask not O Divine Providence, for more riches, but for more wisdom. Wisdom. Wisdom with which to accept and use wisely the riches I received at birth in the form of power to control and direct my mind to whatever ends I desire. Those are not my words. Those are Napoleon Hill's words. But I've. I committed them to memory years and years ago because I wanted to remind myself just how important my thoughts are. They're insidious. They're constantly with us. They're constantly rattling around in our head. And yet they're the fundamental source of our power. They're the fundamental source of our freedom. And one of the things that I learned long ago is that when you. When you bless something in your life, when you appreciate it, when you love it, when you respect will, love and respect and bless you back and when you condemn something or judge something, or curse something in your life, it will condemn and curse you back. It will judge you back, yes. Is that in spiritual text as well? I'm a very spiritual person, not terribly religious. I'll just say that for context purposes. I know the word bless, for example, has. Has a religious context. I'm not saying that word in a religious sense now. Yes, there's spirituality in it. I'm just talking about the reality that the things that we put our attention to grow, they expand and they attract other things that are like to that thing. When you bless something, it blesses you. When you curse it, it curses you. I didn't know this 12 years ago when I would wake up in the morning and feel that dread, feel that angst, not really in love with my life, cursing in some ways, parts aspects of my being and of my life. And it's no wonder that I would attract more of that I would attract more of more into my life because I was looking for it. We have to bless and love ourselves and our lives because our lives then become a blessing to others. We cannot give anything that we don't first understand that we don't first possess. So yes, loving your life is important because when you love it, it will love you back. So here's an exercise that we can all do together. Something that I think is fundamentally important that we focus on right now. The most important areas of our life, our bodies, our minds. We'll put that under the heading of our health, our businesses and our career. Because we know how important it is that we are doing vital work in the world, that we feel fulfilled, that we have a mission of a sort, that we're passionate about our work, that it's purposeful, in other words, that we want to do it, that our finances are vital as well. We know that money, finance is an aspect of our being that we must attend to, that we want to do well with. And our relationships are everything. As my old buddy would say, we're all sailing on the most important ship and that's the relationship, relationships. And all of these areas require our blessing. So where is it that you are actually loving, respecting. I'll use the term blessing these things, demonstrating your love, in other words, in your body, for your body, for the organs of your body, for. For your, Your mind, your thoughts. Where are you blessing those things? Where are you blessing your business, your career, your. Your job, your partners, your clients, your customers, the market? Where are you blessing those things? I want you to go ahead and put some of those comments, some of your answers in the chat right now. Go and put your comments in. Where are you blessing these areas of your life? What does it look like, in other words, for you to be loving them, respecting them right now? Where do you bless your money? Where do you respect your money and your relationships? Where are those areas right now? Go ahead and write those things down, put them in the comment and keep your own list. I am constantly writing in, in a journal. I keep it on my desk. I fill it up morning, noon and night. And, and you can write this down old school like in a journal, or you can take notes on your phone or your iPad or whatever it is. But this is going to become a life work assignment for you today. So go ahead and put your comment, your answers, and then I want you to continue writing. Now that's part one. That's the first t chart. The second part is kind of difficult for a lot of people. And that is where are the areas that you are actually taking those things for granted? Where are you ignoring those things? Where are you even cursing or condemning those things? I know a lot of people, for example, that want to have more financial abundance in their lives. They want more money. And yet when I hear them speak or I watch them act, their actions don't say that they are blessing or are respecting money. In fact, they're resentful in many ways. They look at other people and they are jealous of what they've got. Or they, they look at money as something that's, that's not, that's not good, that might even be evil. We've been taught those things again, we've been programmed in so many ways to think the way we think. It's no wonder that we think the way we think. But we've got to unlearn some of those things. When we realize that to curse our money is not going to bring us more money. We've got to love it. We've got to give it our attention. Your relationships, where is it that you are, are not honoring, blessing, respecting, loving your relationships, people, things. I want you to create that list as well. And if you're willing to be vulnerable and share those things with all of us, it's so important because we're all in this together. And to the extent that you're not able to complete this now, I want you to do this on your own. This will be part of your life work. Why is it that people are not willing to put love into some things? Why didn't they love themselves more? I get Asked that question a lot. Well, in many ways, it's because we believe that it might be arrogant to love ourselves, that we. That we ourselves are quite judgmental and harsh. I know that was true for me. That we don't think that we're worthy because we know all the mistakes that we've made in our lives. We don't think we're worthy of unconditional love, that we think we deserve exactly what we're getting, and therefore we attract more. As opposed to recognizing that you deserve everything, everything that's possible, no matter what happened yesterday. We're going to talk a little bit later in the week about the importance of letting go, about the importance of forgiveness. But right now I just want you to recognize that there are areas in your life that you are blessing, and there are areas in your life that whether you realize it subconsciously, consciously, you are cursing, you are condemning. And this is something we have to take an inventory of so that we can know where we're starting from. So this is your exercise to do now and to complete today. One simple exercise. A list of those areas of your life that you're. That you are putting this love and this respect into, and what does that look like? And the areas that are not so easy to admit, perhaps in your life, that you are resenting or condemning or cursing, or that you're simply just not giving your energy to. That you're. That you're indifferent to. Indifference is a very powerful state. I love the philosophy in Hawaii. There's a spiritual philosophy called the Huna philosophy that says simply, bless that which you want. Again, that word bless, not in a religious context, but simply what does it mean to love on something? Part of the reason why we wanted to use this word was because love is used so frequently in so many different ways. I think that word is even diluted in many ways. People don't quite know what to make of the word love because it's. It's so broad. How do we even more specifically define what love looks like so that you can understand how it is that you do love things, that you do love yourself, even. And blessing is a great word. And. And I think in Hawaii, the concept is you bless not just yourself, of course, but you bless others. You bless that what you want. If you want to be very successful in your business, bless others that are successful in their business. You want to have great relationships. When you see others that have great relationships, bless their relationship, bless their home, bless all these aspects that you wish to invite into your own experience. And I'M doing the same thing to this day, because we're on a constant path of growth. You were either growing or we're not. And we don't want to be not growing. We know where that leads. So looking for areas that you can bless so that you can invite those experiences into your own life. That's what we're talking about. Bless that. What you want. Because anything that you negate, you cannot have. I'll repeat that. Anything that you negate won't be possible for you. You can't have your resentment of rich people and be rich yourself. Financially. Those two things don't work together well. They're in conflict. It's like one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake wondering why you're not going somewhere. So I want you to think about all the areas today in your life that you can, in fact, bless, because this challenge today, tomorrow, throughout the week, and if you ultimately are extending the challenge for yourself for 28 days, using the workbook to guide you, it's like dominoes. You know, the cool things about domino. Cool thing about dominoes is that it's a great demonstration of momentum. You know, one domino tips over the next and the next and the next, and that sequence of things interacting with one another create momentum. And that's what we're wanting to do. Any change in our lives, start small. That's my recommendation. Having written the book Pivot, all about making life changes and career changes, you've got to start small. You've got to start with that tiniest domino, the first domino. What we're doing today, what we're doing this week, what we do in. In the workbook, is starting that process, that series of dominoes, setting them up, if you will, to tip one into the next. So we start small. But the other thing that a lot of people don't recognize or realize I didn't about dominoes is that not only can dominoes tip over other dominoes, but they can tip over other dominoes that are slightly bigger than themselves. And so what you see on the screen is a simple demonstration that starting with a domino that's just half an inch high, 28 dominoes later, if that one domino just tips over another domino that's one and a half times its size, you get to the 28th domino, it's the size of the Empire State Building. That's not just momentum. That's showing how one success, one small step leads to another step leads to another slightly bigger success. And that's what we're talking about. This week that we are starting that series of dominoes so that you can begin the way I began. Maybe not knowing how it is that you could possibly love your life in the middle of a pandemic. Maybe your business hasn't fared well. Maybe it's been a struggle. Maybe you've lost someone. There's been so much loss over the last many, many months. Wherever you're coming from, maybe this has been one of the better years you've had. I know a lot of people who've done well. And yet collectively, again, all as one, we know the world has been challenged and shaken, and there's a great deal of pain and suffering. And we all feel that we've got to start down that path. We've got to model for others what it's like to be able to love, even in circumstances as difficult as this. Love. What does it mean to love? How can we love anything if we don't first understand love ourselves? If we don't have a definition of love for ourselves, how can we have a definition of it for others? How can we give anything we don't possess? So let me go over your life work today. Simple. Each day that we are together in this challenge, we want you to post an I love my life declaration. What does that look like? What is that? It means that you can get in the Facebook group and simply say, I love my life. Maybe it's the first time you've ever said that. Maybe it's the first time you've ever declared that. And again, maybe you feel uncomfortable about that because to this point, you've not thought too well of your life. Maybe you were a little bit like me and you were a little ashamed even of some of the things that have happened in your life, the mistakes that you've made. Maybe you don't feel that you're worthy or deserving of greater love, but you're going to declare it anyway. You could also declare an intention. How it is that you want to experience the day? What do you want to see manifested made manifest in your experience in your life for the day? That's an intention. Or maybe you want to use the word blessing and declare how you bless your health, your body, your mind, your relationships, your finances, your business. What does it look like to bless something in your life today? You can declare that as well at some point during the day. We'd love it if you have an ILML moment, what we call that I love my life moment, where a miracle might happen, something happens that you didn't expect. It could be the smile of somebody. It could be something that is birthed in your awareness that you didn't expect. Could be almost anything. Could be a sunset. If you want to post pictures, feel free to do that. But post your ILML moment. Let's see again, as a community, what kind of miracles start to happen when we begin to focus our attention on some of the most important things we can right now. Learning how to love ourselves no matter what. And of course we'd love it if you would complete the T chart exercises one T chart all the things in your life that you're currently giving love to, blessing, in other words, and all those areas in your life, if you're willing to be vulnerable and honest with yourself that you are cursing or not giving love to or are indifferent to even, that's your life work. That's all you have to do today. And if you can't do it for any reason, no worries, no judgment, you just come on back tomorrow. This community is growing. One of the things we would love it is that you've not if you've not yet joined the actual I Love My Life Challenge community, please go ahead on Facebook and go to that community page, that group page, and join. If you also know other people that you think would really, really benefit from this, please go ahead and invite them as well. We'd love to see that community grow. Also, the I Love My Life Challenge workbook right here. This book is now officially launched on January 1st. If you'd like to get yourself a copy, you can go to ilovemylifechallenge.com Ilovemylifechallenge.com to be able to get your copy. This 28 day workbook is really going to be the way that we complete. So after we're done with this five day challenge, we're going to give you some things to do on your own. And if you'd like to follow along, you'll want the workbook to be able to do that. Also, I know a lot of you have already purchased or pre ordered your workbook and so we want you to get the bonuses. There's a lot of bonuses that are included right now at this stage in getting the workbook and being a part of this challenge. So go ahead and go to ilovemylifechallenge.com to be able to claim your bonuses. It's really simple. They're right there. Just click one click away and they'll all be on their way to you on the 8th, which is Friday. We're going to actually do live event, a one hour event which is the launch, the official launch event for the I Love My Life Challenge workbook. We invite you to come and be part of that. You can go to ilovemylifechallenge.com and find out when you purchase the workbook, there are certain levels at which you'll get bonuses, including that event. We want you to be part of that event, including this T shirt, the I Love My Life, the new color scheme that we're using to, to be able to share this message with a wider audience of people. In fact, as I said at the beginning, we want to create this conversation, curate, if you will, this conversation, grow this community and see this movement really take hold. How is it that we want to experience our lives? How do you want to experience your life? I know for me it's really simple. It's the message that I shared on the TED stage about a year and a half ago. You know, we've got a viral TED video where I get to tell my story of being really in a place of despair and even desperation. And how in the midst of that desperation, that despair, that despondency, I found this one thing, this buoy, this thing that I could hold onto when I was feeling fear, doubt and worry. These four simple words. And I want to talk to you a little bit later in the week about how it is that we ritualize things. How do we ritualize to habitualize the changes in our lives? And there's three simple steps to the waking ritual that I shared on the TED stage. And it's very simple. We've got to wake up. So right now, go ahead. If you woke up today, put it in the chat. I know for me, I'm still in the process of waking up. And I realize every morning when I do wake up, what a blessing that is. Talk about a blessing. Because at that moment when my eyes open and I'm taking a breath, I realize, as you may realize right now, that there are people who didn't open their eyes this morning. There are people that are taking their last breath even at this moment, as we are speaking. And so this moment is sacred. Our waking moment in the morning is not something to take for granted. It's truly a gift to us, a blessing in our lives even when the day is going to be difficult, even when there are challenges unknown. So we wake up each day, if we're lucky. I want you to, I want you to declare with me right now, I'm gonna wake up. I'm gonna wake up I'm gonna wake up. I'm gonna wake up a little more every day. I'm gonna wake up. You can declare it right now. Just type it in. I'm waking up. I'm gonna wake up. And when you wake up again tomorrow, as we all. That's our intention, we all get to wake up again tomorrow. In that moment, you can feel gratitude. We're going to talk about gratitude more tomorrow. The science of gratitude and why gratitude is so powerful. Gratitude. You can feel gratitude even in the midst of any great challenge in your life. In an instant, you get to decide what you put your focus on. And focusing on gratitude is a way of blessing your life again. That which we bless, blesses us. So you can feel gratitude in that moment that you wake up again tomorrow. And the third step of this simple waking ritual takes 10 seconds. And that is to simply declare out loud, I love my life. I love my life. There are four words. They're four simple words. They're not easy. Wasn't easy for me. The first time I said those words, it felt inauthentic. It felt like I was parroting something. Something that was true for someone else but wasn't yet true for me. But yet I did it. I did it. I persisted. Each day, every day, 12 years now, feet on the floor, I don't feel that dread anymore. I don't feel anxiety at the beginning of the day or angst. And I love myself. Not because I'm perfect, perfectly imperfect, I guess, but because I know that I am love. And I am loved. And you are all love. And you are all loved profoundly so, so great we get to do this together. I'm going to see again tomorrow. I'm going to say goodbye for now. But you've got your life work to do. Remember your I, your I love my life declaration, your intention or your blessing in the. In the Facebook group, please. Your I love my life moment. One thing that happened for you today, a picture, a video, anything you like, a statement, a word, doesn't matter what it is, just go ahead and share that moment for all of us so we can share it together. And lastly, your t chart. Those two questions. Where is it that you are blessing your life right now? Your health, your body, your mind, your finances, your money, your business, your partnerships, your relationships. Where are you blessing? Where are you doing something else? You've got to be honest with yourself. We all have to do that. Take stock tip over the next domino. That's we're going to do tomorrow. Today was day one. Today was the first domino, and we're going to go for it again tomorrow. And I can't wait to see you all there, right here with all of us again. If you know somebody that would really benefit from being a part of of what we're doing now, feel free to go ahead and invite them to the group. And I'll just say, everybody, wherever you are right now, let's all do it together. We'll just say, I love my life. You can throw your arms up in the air and say, I love my life. And we'll see you right here again, 9:00am Pacific tomorrow. I love my life. One, two, three. I love my life. So great. We'll see you tomorrow, everybody. Ciao for now.