The Miraculous Living Method With Wendy Darling

Welcome to the Conscious Pivot Podcast with international speaker, business mentor, best selling author of Pivot, and your host, Adam Markell. The Conscious Pivot shares the stories and wisdom of people who have successfully reinvented some area of their business and personal life. You'll gain powerful insights into how you can fully embrace new opportunities, increase your performance, and master the art and science of innovation and resilience. So please join Adam as he guides you on your Conscious Pivot.

Hey everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Conscious Pivot Podcast. I am smiling from ear to ear. If you can see the video, if you're watching it on YouTube or you're listening to it, you're just going to have to imagine my smiling face and my bald head. I am feeling very shiny this morning because I get to have a talk with a dear, dear friend, somebody that I absolutely adore. New friend, somebody I haven't known for many, many years, but really, really appreciate this woman and I'll share a little bit about her. Her name is Wendy Darling and she is a transformational results expert, a speaker and author. I'll say a little bit more about her in just a second, so stay tuned for that. Before we go there, I want to ground us, ground myself, and ground all of us with a breath, a breath of gratitude. And another one, and another one, and another one. Because how lucky are we that we get to be here in this moment, wherever you are in this moment. What a great fortune that is for you and for us. Because it's a fact that as we continue to breathe more consciously in this moment, we can also recognize, be in recognition of the fact that there are people taking their very last breath right this moment. So how blessed are we to be here and to be doing what we're doing, whatever it is. Maybe you're walking or walking, you know, in the gym, on the treadmill or outside, or you're in front of your computer or driving in the car or something. We're all in different places, but we're connected. And that's, I think, the most important thing that we can recognize through our breath is that we are in fact connected to one, to one, something, whatever you want to call that something. But we are connected and that is divine and perfect and beautiful. So without further ado, I want to introduce our guest today. Say a little bit about her, and then we are going to get right into her Pivot story. Wendy Darling is the founder of the Miraculous Living Institute, a personal and professional growth organization offering presentations, seminars, retreats, and private coaching. Wendy is A recognized expert on navigating change and achieving your desired results, her transformational system, the Miraculous Living Method, provides the vehicle for achieving those results with greater ease and speed. Wendy has over 35 years of experience as a business and life transformation expert, master healing practitioner, management and organizational development consultant, manager and executive entrepreneur, radio show personality, and keynote speaker. And Wendy's done this work for quite a bit of time. Her seminars and presentation topics have touched the lives of more than 200,000 people across the United States and throughout the world. Wendy, I will stop right there. Your bio and your CV is quite long and extensive. I know that our audience, our community, is familiar with me not doing really long, elaborate introductions. I think they'll learn so much from just listening to you and learning from your experience. But fill in any gaps. Is there any place where you'd like to just fill in the bio, the intro, just a little bit, and also share with us what you're currently doing and what you're really passionate about right now?

Well, the only thing I'll add to what you were saying, and it's great being here, is, you know, I'm starting to feel older listening to all of that, even a little tired. But it's been a wonderful journey. And it's interesting, even though this is actually the beginning of my 37th year of having my own business, which is amazing to me, I feel like I'm just getting started in a lot of ways. So that's exciting too, that it still feels fresh and exciting and to be continued. And then the second part, what I'm really focused on right now, are two specific avenues. Primarily, there's always more than that. First of all, I started training and certifying coaches and practitioners last year in my methodology, and I'm really excited about that. And that's going to be a primary focus. And then the other is my consulting work. I have an arm of my business called RQ Consultants, and RQ stands for your relationship quotient. And I work with organizations to help empower the team to be more productive and profitable. And I'm actually choosing to focus in the healthcare industry this year. So those are two of the major things. And then we'll see what else unfolds as the year progresses, which is the fun part.

Yeah. I'm curious why. Not so much a why. What's the transition into the healthcare focus?

Well, yeah, first, it's a natural alignment for me based on my past and having to be involved in hospitals and all of that. I have a real soft spot in my heart for People that work with people with health issues and wellness has always been something of great importance. And then quite honestly, it's a thriving business industry that has a lot of need. And as, you know, as things grow and change, that what I call the Rubik's Cube of the organization can sometimes get out of alignment. And working to massage that, to be able to go easier with what needs to happen in the effort to get maybe different results is so important.

Yeah. Well, let's back up the clock just a little bit to a different time in your life when you'd experienced some challenges. I mean, one thing that's a constant is the fact that things change. One of those beautiful paradoxes of life. Right. That the constant is change, and people really meet change differently. And more often than not, they meet it with fear or trepidation and all that, you know, knuckle white knuckling. The experience of change. What is it? What was it like for you a time ago when you were kind of white knuckling change and the pivot that was upon you and how you showed up in that time, what you learned?

Yeah, you know, just to preface that a tiny bit, I was a pretty fearless person. I thought if I wanted a job, I got it. If I wanted an opportunity, I was Dean of Students for Semester at Sea, like at age 28. And as we're pulling out from San Francisco Bay, I'm going, oh, my God, what have I done? But I really was a fearless person, and I got involved in training and development and consulting when it was really in infancy, many years ago. And I started my own business in 1981, and this was now 1990, I believe. And I was working. I was working with a Fortune 100 company. I was flying all over the United States providing training for them. And I was now flying from Texas, where I was living at that time, to Los Angeles. And I was a type, a kind of girl. And it was like, that show must go on. But I was sick as a dog, and I went outside the Dallas airport just to get some fresh air, and I passed out and I fell over a ledge and I fell over 25ft. And it was just. That alone was extremely traumatic. You know, not to give tons of detail, but the good news, I guess, is I landed on my right leg and it was shattered. My back was broken. I was later diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury. And as I was kind of coming out of my first surgery, I had multiple surgeries and didn't know if I would walk again for about 11 months. And I Do. I mean, all of this has a happy ending, but the journey was. This was a white knuckle moment because I had never physically been challenged before. And then while I was in the hospital, around the. I think it was the fourth week I was in the hospital, my former husband came, suitcases packed, stating he didn't want to be married any longer. And in all fairness, you know, we had issues, and I take responsibility. So the timing just wasn't really great. And then the real blow came when we went to court. And unfortunately, he's an attorney. No offense, Adam, I still like attorneys. But he was awarded full custody of our son, who was only four and a half. And that's when I really broke into a lot of pieces. Now, even at the time of my accident, I was starting to wake up more to who am I? And there was more of this sense of a spiritual awakening. And this was my big wake up call. So when I was lying in the hospital all those years ago, it was in those early days that I, first of all, I didn't believe in accidents, and I had just had a doozy of one. And I was asking the question, what choices and decisions have I been making that got me to where I was in that moment? And what choices and decisions was I now going to have to make to dig myself out of this hole? Because it was a big one. And my prayer at that time, you know, I happen to say sometimes, you know, if life takes you to your knees, start praying, you know, it's like, oh, my gosh, I was so out of anything that I had experienced before. I was living in whiteboard territory. There was nothing to hook my identity on. And so in a lot of ways, well, now I consider it one of my greatest gifts because I had to really look at who am I, what am I here for, how can I best serve, and how am I going to dig myself out of this hole? And my prayer to God at that time was, if you help me dig out of this hole, I promise I will pay it forward. And I remember saying, oh, and by the way, if you could just make it just a little easier and faster, it would be really nice because nobody should have to suffer like this. And I have to say, it took a while, but I got my wish granted.

Wow. And when you say you got your wish granted, do you mean that the suffering ended? What was it that accounted for the wish being granted?

Yeah, well, first of all, it took a while to recover physically, emotionally. And also, I think I mentioned I also was diagnosed with the traumatic Brain injury. And that may have been the greatest gift, because I don't know how this happened, but because of the trauma, my mom, of all people, suggested I might want to learn how to meditate. And at that time, quieting my mind was such an oxymoron.

And I think that's the case for everybody.

I mean, it was like, really. And, you know, and especially after my former husband was awarded custody of my son, something really snapped inside of me. I mean, I could literally feel the wheels turning inside, trying to find a folder or compartment to land, how this beautiful being that I got to birth and love unconditionally like nothing ever before, was suddenly somebody that I never met before called a judge, said, sorry, we're changing things up a little bit. So it was really traumatic. And so I did. I started. I went to somebody who was teaching me how to meditate, and every time I almost felt like my mind was going to relax, I had this urge to sing. And so I told him this, and he said, well, sing. And I said, you don't understand. I actually have people in my life that request I not do that.

So am I correct in saying that you would not be asked by people to sing, to manage, like, as part of a stress management program? They would not ask.

That would be correct. That would be correct.

I think we all have a visual of that, or.

And I love to sing. I mean, even my son's more diplomatic today. But. But there was a time where I'd be singing in the car or something, and he'd be like, mom, do you really have to do that? And I look at him and go, yeah, I really do. And so adjust. So my instructor said, sing. So desperate times, right? So I got into that space, and something started to come through me, and I started to sing for the first time, Adam, in such a long time. My mind started to calm, My body started to come calm, and it was such a relief. So I was living in Dallas, Texas, at that time. And as some of you may know, Texas has a reputation of having really big things. And I had this ginormous walk in closet, and I would go into my closet and do my meditation and singing because the acoustics in the closet were just so delicious. And little by little, I started realizing that there was maybe a little bit more to this than I realized. And so to fast forward it, I started to receive my transformational gifts, my healing gifts, the processes that I use today. And the reason I said my wish was granted is not necessarily, you know, my suffering did end. But what's so great is the people that I get to serve can get their results easier and faster. So I really married my world of very traditional consulting and facilitating and all of that with these wonderful gifts. I'm able to see energy, I'm able to move it. I can see where things are stuck. And my system itself can find the root cause immediately of anything that's holding you back, interfering, creating a misalignment. And we get you in a place where you get to just be you and live the life of your dreams. But behind that for me personally, is I want to make sure I feel my purpose is helping others fulfill theirs. So whatever that what I call your divine destiny is, that's what I want to support.

Wow, beautiful. It's interesting. When you were speaking about your mind, the traumatic brain injury and how that might have been a blessing, I was thinking about that book by Jill Bolte Taylor called. Yes, Stroke of insight.

Yes.

And for those of you who've never read that book, so way beautiful, cool, amazing book about her experiences. Harvard, I think. Harvard researcher, I think. So that was having a. And she's a brain researcher. So he talked about irony on some. Some level or just the divine how things are so divine in the moment. This brain researcher was having a stroke and was conscious of the fact that she was having an event. And of course, at a certain point she became unconscious of that because the stroke took over and she was no longer herself. And for. And that's what the book is about, her journey in and out of that stroke. And it's a wonderful, wonderful book. And that was a blessing. And I remember her not only blessing in a bunch of ways, including the fact that her book and her work has now transformed and assisted people, helped them to transform their own lives. So many people must be millions at this point. So that's a blessing. The other blessing as she described in the book was the fact that when her. The center of her brain that was no longer active, or at least not she didn't have access to it was her left brain and she was living in her right brain, living in that child brain, the child mind, and the that creative side and that side that's not judging things and that side that's not so creative, critical and not. It's not the side that's often giving us a hard time. So while she didn't have full function in a lot of areas and that was debilitating, she also had access to this side of herself where she was just nothing but present. And so that was that Was part of what she was describing. Sound very familiar to how you were describing what you were gaining out of that traumatic brain event?

Yeah. You know, I tease every now and then, it sure would have been nice to have had it just a little bit smoother. But it was my journey, and I am so grateful today, Even when I was going through the trying times, because it was not just, oh, yeah, let's get better and get on with life. You know, there were a lot of challenges along the way, and I am blessed. I mean, I am relatively. I am relatively normal now. I laugh because who knows what normal is. Excuse me.

No kidding.

But I'm just so grateful because my sensitivity, I've always been a sensitive person, but it's really dialed up now. I think my heart is just so wonderful. And earlier last year, I decided to have some tests done, and I literally got to see my heart in action. And I had never seen that before. And it was like, oh, look at you. You're doing so great. And so it really is a blessing. And so things about me have dialed. Certain things have dialed up, Certain things have dialed down in the sense that I'm not that workaholic little girl any longer. I still work. I still love what I do. But, you know, you talked about self care. You know, really making sure that I take care of myself is like at the top of my list. And the way I approach things, I have such trust and faith in life now. And even the times that doesn't quite look like I thought it was gonna look, I've learned to ride the waves a lot easier than before.

Yeah. Isn't that a skill that we ought to be taught when we're in kindergarten or earlier, the skill of riding the ways of life?

Yeah. Yeah. Because like you said when I had my accident and all of that stuff that was beyond the white knuckle moment, you know, it was. How. You know, how did somebody like me have all of this happen to. But it did. I joke, because it's like I imagine sitting in the lap of God as a soul, and it's like, God, I want to experience unconditional love this time like never before. And God holds me, gives me a little peck, and goes, ha ha ha. Wish granted.

And it's. Yeah, it's the process of experiencing unconditional love may not look the way we think it supposed to look. It may not come to us from the most obvious place. And so out of great adversity and getting knocked to your knees, as you say, those white knuckle moments and any number of other ways to describe the challenges we faced in our lives. We gain understanding of things that we would never have otherwise had.

Yeah, so it's, that's what I found. Yeah. I really got to see contrast as a young child. My mom was the type of person who was really overwhelmed, was highly, highly critical, and quite honestly abusive. And I had such a poor sense of who I was. For many years, I really didn't know who I was. And that was a pivotal moment of my accident because I recognized I was living more the life that I thought she and even my dad wanted me to live. And on the outside, it really looked like was doing that a great job of life. And it took this, this experience to really explore who am I really, what matters to me. You know, when I. For myself, I, you know, I'm my first laboratory. And then I, and then I work on other people that allow me to.

Right, you're. You're the self improvement lab.

That's right.

For your, for your own, for, for how to change your life. I mean, yeah, that's the way it is for all of us. We're in, in the laboratory making changes and change for life. It's not something where we're necessarily born knowing or, or learning from the models of people, of experiences, of people that are around us. Are we more often than not, what they model is the white knuckling they. What they model the resistance and a lot of regret and anger as well along the way.

Yeah, exactly. And, you know, that's the other thing to even give ourselves timeouts to explore, you know, to really take a step back and evaluate. You know, you and I both have had multiple pivots in our lives and yes, and you know, I can now. I sense when something is wanting to shift and life also reflects it, that things kind of come to a halt. But those times of reflection are really important because we do live in interesting times. We do live in a world that is changing very quickly. And we're also kind of a little off center with our values and actions and just a lot of other things. And so that time of reflection become so important. You know, we just obviously came into a new year. And I'm one of those people that typically like a quiet New Year's Eve where I really honor my year in review and look at the things that were great, things that were maybe not so great, and how do I want to position myself to enter that new year. And so like many people, I really create some intentions. I don't believe as strongly in specific goals as far as resolutions go. And really it's like how do I want to be adjusting my trajectory so that I can have greater impact and influence and still have a really good time?

Yes, it is in so many ways finely tuning. The way when we were younger, even younger, the radio was a dial and you had to tune in. You have to calibrate and recalibrate to the station to get a clear signal and a clear channel. Why should it be any different in our own lives? Whether it's, you know, whether we're making a career change or considering a career change or any of the things that are going on like. So my story is one of misery in the work I was doing, just feeling really unfulfilled by work I was doing. And again, that process of exploring, of getting present quiet inside to be able to then make those recalibrations or consider what those things would be like is so important as a process. And really it sounds to me like your methodology is very process driven as well.

It is.

You said something earlier too about your, about growing up with contrast and that made me think too about where I first heard that word in a way that stuck with me was with Abraham Hicks, you know, the Esther and Jerry Hicks work with, where she talked about contrast and how contrast is as a catalyst for us knowing what we really want. In fact, there's an exercise that I will often do with some of the people that participate in our programs, whether it's our pivot incubator or the speaker training and things I'll say to them. We have a great guidance system and to know how clear you are, much more clear than you think you are. Just create a T chart and on the left hand side of the T chart I want you to write down all the things you can just quickly think of that don't work. You know what doesn't work and list all those things that you know I know doesn't work. Well, it doesn't work to be in relationship with somebody who's abusive. It doesn't work to be in relationship too quickly in business, you know that partnerships are or that are formed too quickly without knowing somebody create challenges, you know all the things it doesn't work to spend more money than you earn. You know, all that on the left hand side is what you know doesn't work. Because when you know it doesn't work, you know what does work. And so on the right hand side, it's all the things that you're clear that you have complete crystal clarity about that do work when you know first what doesn't work. And so it's that contrast between, between the experience of what doesn't work and what you don't want and the getting clear on what you do want. And so yeah, that is so wonderful, Wendy. And the work that you're doing is magnificent. I am a student of yours. That's what I'm going to say out loud. I feel like the process that you shared with me is just beautiful. I've been using it. I listened to your. So it's kind of a bit of an irony that you were told not to sing and yet this beautiful song, this, this, this. And I don't even know whether you'd call it a song, but the sounds that came from you, that you recorded that were called forth are a part of a process that you use. And you shared that with me, this digital, this audio recording of it. And I listen to it and I think it's about 20 minutes long. And then I also do some quiet reflection on some thoughts and things, guidance that you and I discussed. And I do that as I listen. And it's magnificent and it has incredible impact on me. So I want to say.

You know, that's. There's nothing more that warms my heart, you know, to be able to share this with people. Now I told you I was really, I was still. Remember how I said I meditated in the closet? I was really in the closet with this because it was so different than who I was prior to my accident. And there really came a time that. And I'm still sometimes a little self conscious or a little shy about it, but you know, that's my journey to get over it. But I actually feel a responsibility to share it because first of all, who doesn't maybe have a gift that first of all, they don't even realize is a gift? And secondly, who. There's so many of us that are shy about saying, yeah, you know, I really love doing this or I'm really good at that. And so even though my story is a little extreme and even what I do is a little different, who doesn't feel different? And it's time for us to celebrate that uniqueness that lives within all of us. You know, my former business name was Thumbprints International a while back because I believe just like our thumbprint, each of us is born with unique talents, skills and opportunity. And our job in life is first of all to discover what that might be and then cultivate and position ourselves in a way that we make that special Mark that we make a difference. And that to me is heaven on earth. You know, that's how we really feel fulfilled. And that's what I feel. I help people either discover. I didn't know for the longest time things that I did. Well, it wasn't until I was in graduate school, somebody said, wow, you're really a good diagnostician. I went, I am really.

I know.

I was like, yeah.

We never. We rarely see ourselves as accurately as the world sees us. And it's interesting too, that way. I mean, there are people that will see us and they project their selves onto us. And so there's all this stuff that's always out there. But when we are able to get quiet and still and check in, we can learn the truth about ourselves, the real truth, absolutely. How truly divine we are and how deserving of unconditional love we are, regardless of our mistakes or the journey of the past or any of those things. So, Wende, what's one thing that you do as a ritual or, you know, a conscious habit, let's say, that helps you to stay in the right mindset?

It's my number one priority every morning, almost every morning, I first and foremost, other than making tea or coffee, I get quiet. And I have a practice where I do my methodology. So I turn on my audio, have things that I'm. Because part of my methodology helps to train the mind, which I think is a very important and many times missing piece in other. In some practices. And so I spend time in quiet and I listen to one of my recordings and then I typically actually sing and do some healing work on me. And then I write. I write what I'm grateful for every morning. I usually do it in the evening as well, before I go to bed. But every morning I write what I'm grateful for. I write out my intentions for the day and then I listen to my guidance. I used to get paid a nice little sum of money to create strategic plans for companies. And I am so not that person anymore. I listen for my marching orders now and I take that step. Like this morning, I was told to make a call to a specific person. It's like, great. And I feel when we live from that place, you know, really trusting God, the universe, whatever you personally might call this, I call it the greatest thing on earth that we get to experience. We've got everything. You know, when I'm just at the tail end of a cold, and between the cold and I was eating a little differently, I couldn't feel my guidance system as well And I really missed it. So that also becomes really important to taking really care of our bodies so that we can not only receive guidance, but then be in good health to do what we're being guided to do. Because I really believe each and every person is here to thrive and prosperity, to make a very unique and special contribution that will make this world a better place because you're here.

Yes. So agree with that. When you talk about a practice like that, it's a mindfulness practice in a lot of ways. People talk about meditating, and they don't meditate. They don't like to meditate or they can't meditate. That's what I hear. A lot of times I've tried meditating. It doesn't work for me. My mind won't quiet stop calling it meditation, for one thing, and a little differently, and practice it differently because what you discussed is getting still being in gratitude. And then in that stillness and that gratitude, allow for guidance. I did a podcast some months ago with Michael Bernard Beckwith, Reverend Beckwith, and he talked about assignments. So where you said guidance, he used the word assignment, looking oh, nice. Like you actually said marching orders. That you marching orders. And he was saying. He directly asked. He asked spirit, what's my assignment today?

I love that.

Right? Isn't that amazing? Beautiful. And it. And it was a wonderful way to frame what we're. What we're discussing, which is to ask in humility for what it is that you'd like to know. Just to ask. Regardless of whether you call it spirit or God or anything else, it's just. It could just be that. Not just be that. You get getting quiet and asking for that guidance or those marching orders or that assignment is you asking you the indwelling presence, the indwelling wisdom and genius and all of that that's inside of you and just being quiet enough for a moment or two to hear it. And I remember in the book in Pivot, I featured a number of people that had some practices, including Keith Leon, who's a dear friend. And Keith's practice also has to do with being still and asking for which direction, which way next kind of thing. So when. Wendy, this has been a blast. I so adore you and so happy we got to see each other. And so for those of you watching on YouTube, you get to see Wendy. Her name suits her so well. Her last name is Darling, and you are very darling.

Thanks, Adam. Well, I love you too. I think we've been blessed that for finally the universe conspired, that we Got to be even almost neighbors. So that part's really lovely.

Yeah. Well, how can people. I know in the show notes for folks, you'll be able to get information about Wendy and her work and all that sort of thing. Wendy, is there a website that people can go to to find out more about you?

There is. It's very simple.

WendyDarling.com Couldn't get any easier than that. WendyDarling.com so many amazing resources there. And you can learn more about Wendy and how it is that her work might impact your life. We're all in the process of changing our lives for the better and hopefully we're doing it in an elegant, graceful way, not having to white knuckle it, as we said earlier.

Yeah. Those days are over, I believe.

Yeah. For sure. We'd like them to be. That's. That's true. And for those of you who are enjoying this, enjoying this experience of listening, watching and listening to this podcast, of course, please subscribe, go on itunes and review, leave a review. We would love that. Right. You can get to the podcast through AdamMarkel.com of course. And there's a few other resources that we have that are available that are at no cost. And I would love for you to take advantage of those access whether you're in a pivot. Not in a pivot. Curious. Would like to answer some questions to figure it out whether you are in or not yet in a period of change in your life. You can go to startmypivot.com and we've got a kickstart guide that you can access there that startmypivot.com and then also we have a startmypivot community on Facebook which we address door. Just amazing, insightful people giving, loving, generous people on that site, being vulnerable and sharing things about their own journey. And it's just the community has really one of those things that surprised us how important a community is. We know that, but didn't know we could see a community form on Facebook that would be that rich. So you can get to that community directly on Facebook or you can go to pivotfb.com pivotfb.com and access it directly there. So that's what's up. And I will say before we depart, I want to remind us all how blessed again it is that we're here together and tomorrow my magic wand is waving in the air. And the magic wand is that we all get to wake up tomorrow and there's a ritual. When we talk about rituals and practices, I always start my day with the same practice have for about eight years. And it's three parts. So the first part is that I wake up. And that is no simple feat, right? Because again, we don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. So wake up spiritually, wake up in my consciousness, wake up my awareness, wake up physically to a new day as a blessing. So in that moment I'm awake, I realize I'm awake. The next thing I do is sit in gratitude for something, whether it's that breath or it's the family, it's the health, it's the roof over my head, and there are people that don't have that. So I sit in gratitude for a moment. And the third part is if you're inclined to do this, you wake up, you're in gratitude. And then put your feet on the floor and declare out loud, I love my life. I love my life. I love my life. And that element of intention setting for your day, that self care, that self love is going to pay dividends big time. So we love you. We are so appreciative that you are in this community. And I will just say ciao for now. Thank you so much, Wendy.

Thanks Adam.

Thanks for listening everyone. We hope you now have the tools and greater insights to navigate your own pivot. Help us inspire others by sharing this episode and leaving your comments over@adammarkel.com podcasts for more tips, strategies and support as you consciously pivot into a new business and lifestyle you love, join our Pivot community on facebook@pivotfb.com.

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