In this solo monologue, Adrienne Barker, MAS, shares practical etiquette guidance for a smooth Thanksgiving dinner. She begins by emphasizing the importance of arriving on time—no too early, no late—so the host can be ready. She advises never to bring an uninvited guest without checking with the host, and to gauge the host’s reaction to any extra guests. When contributing food or wine, only do so if asked, and accept that the host may not serve your contribution. She stresses that hosts should sit at the head of the table to monitor the room, while guests should respect assigned seating and avoid moving others. Political and religious topics are off‑limits to keep conversation pleasant. Table manners include keeping elbows off the table, using cloth napkins correctly, buttering rolls modestly, and not over‑eating. Bathroom etiquette for guests includes leaving it clean and asking the host how to help without imposing. She recommends accepting leftovers when offered, but not bringing personal containers. If the turkey fails, ordering pizza is a humorous fallback. Finally, she encourages gratitude, sharing thanks, and ending with a reminder not to point at anyone. The tone is conversational, instructional, and occasionally humorous, with a supportive and enthusiastic sentiment throughout.
Chapters
Hi everyone, today is actually Tuesday, November 23rd, and I thought I would come in and do some etiquette tips for a graceful Thanksgiving dinner because I know often we forget about some of the little etiquette things and how and what you should or should not be doing. So I thought I would come in and tell you because you know why? I've made every single wrong mistake and I wanna make sure that nobody copies my incorrect ways of sometimes doing things. So some of the things, first of all, everyone knows when you're asked to pass the salt, you pass the pepper, so keep your pepper and salt together, that's easy enough. So let's just talk about the timing of your event. So people always question, do I go early? Dinner's at 5, should I get there at 4:30, should I get there at 4 and offer to help? No, if you're asked to get there at 5, you should really try to get there at 5. You know, a few minutes early is okay, try not to be late, You don't want to be too early because some people will really wait and at 5 o'clock they're ready for you and at 4:40 they may not be ready for you. So just remember that. Don't bring a guest unless you ask. Don't be that person at the door, oh, I hope you don't mind, Aunt Mary's here and I couldn't get rid of her so I had to bring her. You really have to call and make sure. And then feel that person out because you just want to make sure. If someone says to you, oh, okay, you can have Mary but I have to change my seating and I don't really have like, you'll be able to hear in their voice if it really is an imposition or if it's wonderful. Like I would be like, oh my God, yes, yes, we don't even want Thanksgiving unless Aunt Mary is there, so you must bring her. Or, oh okay, where am I gonna sit everyone? So you know, you get that feeling, you get what I'm saying. Okay, so don't get there too early. If you have a, now let's just say you're bringing delicious wine. So you're bringing a red wine or a white wine. I only suggest bring wine if you are asked to bring wine. And if you do bring a wine and it's not being served, don't be upset by that. Sometimes people are very particular about what they're serving with their dinner, so you may not have your wine being served. And I do like to ask if it's okay, you know, is it okay for me to bring my mom's sweet potato pie with marshmallows? On the top of it, you know, yes, Adrian, that's great, or oh, actually Aunt Sarah is bringing that this time around, so I think it's good. I think as someone that's played the host and the guest, as the host, it's nice to know what's coming your way so that you can plan it, 'cause you don't wanna have like 7 fruit bowls and 1 salad and nothing green. Like, that wouldn't be a good thing, right? So ask. All right, now when you get to someone's house, Actually, the hosts should really seat themselves at the table so they could easily see the front door and they could get up and get down. Like, that's an important thing. So when you're a host, make sure that you— and sit. My mom never sat, and you know what, it's— everyone wants to see you sit. Everyone knows that you've worked hard. Everyone wants to enjoy you at the table. My mom never sat with us, and I always argued with her. Somehow I must have known the right thing to do because I'd be like, Mom, sit down. No, no, no, I want to stand. But You know what, it made me sad. So you don't want to have one sad Adrienne at the table, so make sure you make time to sit, but do put yourself in a position that you could get up and help your guests and anything else you need. That's really important. If you are the guest and you're coming and you're like, oh, nobody's watching and I don't want to sit next to Frank, I'm just going to move Frank's little thing over here and I'm going to sit over here. Don't do it. Don't do it. Wherever you're sitting, sit and enjoy the person next to you. You know what? Meeting someone new or getting to speak to someone, that could be really fun that maybe you don't know all the way. You know, maybe you think you don't like someone, that's because you don't really know that person. So again, make sure that you take the time to sit wherever you're supposed to be sitting. That's really important. So of course, good conversation includes politics and religion. I mean, what conversation do you have without politics and religion. So Dad, tell me about— No. N-O. No conversation about politics, no conversation about religion, and the reason is simple. It is a very passionate thing that we're doing together, so you get all upset and passionate and you want to be able to express yourself, and the problem is that other people want to express themselves And you get fighting, and that happens. We all know it. So please make sure that you are not talking about politics. All right, some of the other things to do: if you don't like something, that's okay. You know, don't— you don't have to eat it. You don't have to ask for more of anything. You don't have to eat till you're full. You know, be comfortable with eating. Make sure on your rolls that you do take pieces of them Don't butter your whole roll. If you do need etiquette tips, if you're feeling uncomfortable, text me 386-631-4577. Keep your phone away from the table. This is all about conversation. Before, do not put your elbows on the table. That, like, aren't you right? No, no, it's okay to have your hands like this on your lap. Oh, napkins! Oh, I have a napkin right here. I'll just show you about a napkin too. Do a little napkin. All right, so napkin, I love cloth napkins. So your cloth napkin, actually this part, the seam would go on your lap and then you would wipe just like that, it forms a little pocket, a little crumb pocket catcher, I love that. All right, now as you know, there's a million different other etiquette tips. If you use the bathroom, men, sit down. You know what, turn around and make sure that you're leaving that bathroom clean. You know, get a little tissue to wipe the sink. It's someone else's house, so treat it as someone else's house. You are the guest, so make sure you keep things clean, pick up yourself. You can ask, I like to ask the host when I get there, you know, would you like me to clean, like how would you like me to help you to have this amazing meal? Because they may say, you know, Adrian, I really don't want you to clean, I really don't want that many people in the kitchen, or I have Jan who's gonna help me in the kitchen and we don't have to worry about anything, so just enjoy yourself. I just like to know because I don't want to not help, but I don't want to put myself helping and being just another, like, looking around going, oh, what can I do? I can put the water bottle in the refrigerator. No, no, that's not, that's, um, don't eat too much as a guest. I mean, just don't eat so much that you're like, oh, I'm so full, I'm sick. I have seen that too. I mean, I know it sounds like a nice thing, like, oh my God, I ate so much of your food, it's so good, I feel sick. I would say not to do that. And you know what, accept the leftovers if they are asked. You know, when people ask me things, I obviously say no because I just don't like to take things. But if you really— if it's asked in a way, you know, like, "Adrienne, we really want you to take this home," accept the gratitude of taking it home and enjoying it, you know. So don't bring your own Tupperware. "Hey, I just bought this 40-set Tupperware and thought that you could fill it all for me." And And more of those cookies and brownies, please. Yes, thank you. No, no, no. Okay. All right. So I think we've got everything here. All else fails and your turkey is not delicious, order pizza. I don't really have an answer for that because I don't like to cook and I'm making a stewing hen and I don't even know what that looks like. So I don't even know. I don't even know. Anyways, have a great holiday dinner. Enjoy everyone. Enjoy your family. Enjoy whatever you're going to do. Give thanks. Sit around the table and talk about what you're grateful for. I'm grateful for a wonderful year, a great family, great, great people that I've been meeting. I love the business community, all the fabulous people that you all know who you are because I love you and I tell you I love you. So have a great holiday. Talk to you all. Thanks. We're going to talk about Christmas next time. And my last thought is do not point. To anyone at your Thanksgiving dinner. Bye everyone!
