Candid Conversation with Adrienne Barker

I, I was doing with you on www.4divas.com. I loved— I, I just loved everything of the Adrienne's P's and Q's.

And it is time to bring it back. It is.

Okay. All right, all right, send me the contract because actually there's a lot to talk about and we're not going to be able to shake hands. And there's— so it's opening up the door for a whole new way of doing business. So I'm down with it. Cool. So Deb, I have to, okay, I'm going to jump in right now. OLLI, can you please tell me about OLLI? Cause I'm thinking that this is exactly what I, what I've been looking for, for the children. So tell me about OLLI.

Oh, it's the exact opposite actually. It's, it's called Osher Lifelong Learning and it's It's, um, an adult education program through Saginaw Valley State University.

Oh wow!

Yes, so it's really fun. I teach— I usually teach 3 classes, but Saginaw Valley shut down right now. Hopefully, um, I, I do believe I go back in August. They're closed through May. And I didn't sign up for June, so—

okay, so you're in the classroom presenting?

Yes, exactly.

What are you presenting then?

I do, you know, I'm a, I'm a nutritional consultant, and so I do a book. I, I do a class about anti-inflammatory eating, and another one, it's called Healthy Eating Every Day, HEED it's called. And then the third one that I do, because they asked for it actually, which made me really happy, is about meditation and mindfulness. And I throw in some food in that one too.

Oh, I love that.

Yeah, it really is true.

Inflammation is really a problem. Yes. And so, like, I, I do like the turmeric tea.

Yes, that's a really— that's really a big anti-inflammatory. Yes.

But does it need the pepper to go with it?

Yes, but it doesn't matter if you put it in the tea. You just have to make sure that you consume some pepper near the time that you drink the tea.

That is so interesting. So, so this is also include a whole thing about the pH balance?

Yes, yes. And people, that alkaline— alkalinity, the— when your body is out of out of balance, it does cause inflammation. And everything that it— that's in the anti-inflammatory diet helps your body become more alkaline. But there's things that you can do separately from, from eating, like just simply drinking a lemon— a hot lemon water in the morning is a wonderful thing. Um, apple cider vinegar in a in a smoothie or in a salad. Really? Yes. You would think it would be the opposite because you would think that those things are acidic, but no.

Oh, that is so— you know, actually, I don't, I don't really like talk about it, and I'm not— but I did join Jeunesse, and they took me to California with them, and they have— do you remember when MonaVie came out? Was like a— looked like a wine bottle, and you drink the MonaVie.

No, no.

Okay, I do love it. I do love it when I drink it. I feel really good with it. And so funny enough, you know, I learned and they have a black water that's actually, uh, the balance.

Oh, and, um, Young Living that I belong to with essential oils, we have a drink called Ninja Red. Oh wow, that's really good. It's made with, um I want to say goji berries, but I don't think that's right. Wolfberries.

Wolfberries. You have, um, do you— so if I'm correct, I have a little like thing right here by my, my like eye here, not in my eye, but like a little out. And last time I had one, I think I used, um, uh, frankincense. Is that one that's good for like little, um, like skin tags?

Yes, skin. And, um, so is lavender.

Okay, so, oh, will you send me your link so I could get that?

Yes.

Okay, good, good, good. Thank you.

I'd be happy to.

I know, I appreciate that. I really do. And Alana and I, we— so when— so after— so, okay, so we traveled out. Let me just go back and tell her. So I met Debbie online at one of the women entrepreneur groups, and at that time I had graduated from the Protocol School, and I wanted to get the feeling of what it would be like to have, you know, because I was told my whole life I had a face for, you know, radio, but I guess nowadays there'll be a Facebook podcast. So I was like, oh, that sounds fun, and I really enjoyed it. And I actually always thought that it was, it was like almost an hour for me of having some, um, like therapy session too.

Oh, it was so much fun. I loved when we did the questions.

Oh, I love— I like that because it was like we would just read something. I— and now with a program like this people could actually write in their questions, and, and I just love that. I would do Quora and Reddit, and I would go on Quora and Reddit and just like pull out like crazy questions, kind of like Dear Abby. I love that. And then, um, and then I was so in love with Deb, I said, well, we're gonna be driving to Tucson. And I don't remember if it was the first year when we— because we drove across like twice the United States. We didn't have Pickles with us, did we? Did I have my dog Pickles?

No.

Okay, so that was the first time. So the first time, so we hadn't been to Tucson yet. We were get— we were on our way. We had gone up to, um, Canada and then we went across. Luckily enough, I got all of our passports and then we came down to Michigan and we came and we stayed at the Comfort and I think it was really lovely. And oh my gosh, that was such a great time being with you. I, I honestly, I really did have that feeling like we were like, should we move here? What would that be like? And then that big white winter snow that you get was like, yeah, no.

Yeah, it's too bad too because we would have a blast.

Oh my gosh, well, all the groups that you have and all the women and, and Amanda with their pajamas, it was really, really fun. And it was all exciting for us because then we were on our way to Tucson too, so that was really fun to see what that was like. But, um, anyway, so I love meeting you. We've stayed like connected and friendship. And, you know, your— all your hosts are really amazing. And I love like the new changes that you've made. You're no longer in that beautiful, uh, area, are you? In that downtown?

I'm still in the downtown, but I've moved, um, closer to the Comfort Inn, actually. Um, it's, uh, I'm in a building with, uh, 2 other female-centered entrepreneurs. So one, one is a fitness place that she teaches classes and there's, um, weights and all and cardio equipment. And then the other one is just a spin cycle place. So we're all in that same building and it's really nice because I'm not by myself all the time. So we do things together and it's, it's more fun.

I love that whole area. Do you mind, is it okay? Because when we sat down, we were sitting on your couch and we were talking about you're starting the, the, um, Devolution book and what was going on. And I think I was sharing some of the things that were taking place with me, not probably in debt. Now that I wrote Head Down, Shut Up, I don't know how deep I went into what was taking place in my life, but can you share what had happened with you and why you wrote that book, because I think that everyone will enjoy, uh, hearing that, if you don't mind.

It's personal. I don't mind. So, um, there were— it goes back a long ways, but the most recent thing that happened that, that spurred me on the most to write that book was I was in real estate and I was at the top of my game and doing fabulous. I was making tons of money. I had a nice house, um, My youngest son was in culinary school. My oldest one had gone to move to California already, and things were just going well until 2009. And I had a lot of really good friends there, and, and I was managing a real estate office. I had just moved to this upscale real estate office And I had mentored the, the people that were there with me. I handpicked them to come with me. And then the, the market crashed. In the meantime, I had been giving them my open houses and helping them pay for advertising. And I just, I, I just went out of my way to make sure that they were going to be successful because people had done that for me. And, you know, sometimes you just need that little extra guidance and mentorship to, to make it. So I, I had no qualms about doing that. And then when the market crashed, I was forced to take another job, uh, because I had to keep paying for advertising and everything. I mean, that didn't go away. And at the same time, I found out that the person that was handling my money had embezzled from me, and the 2 of the— 3 of the women that I had mentored and coached and spent countless hours with on the phone, and I, I really believe it actually cost my marriage. I hate to say that, but, um, turned their backs on me and threw me under the bus to our broker. And it like made me— I never thought that that could ever happen, that women could do that to each other. And It just hurt me so badly, but things worked out. And, and I just, I couldn't hardly talk to people. I mean, it just knocked the wind out of me. And then when it was time for me to turn in my continuing education, I went into the office and the person that was working in the office hid it from me. So I had no choice but to to stop selling real estate. And, uh, and I ended up meeting my husband at that other job. And so, I mean, things worked out okay. And I moved up to Michigan, and it took me a year, Adrian, of not talking to anybody. I didn't talk to anybody because I was like in shock, I think, that that happened. And then my mom died and blah blah blah. It was— but And, and somehow we all made it through all that. And but I'll tell you, my friends were feeding me. I was so broke that I didn't have money for food, and my friends were— would bring food over and leave it in my refrigerator. And I had to pick whether to have my electricity on. I don't talk about this very often. I had to pick either have the electric on or the gas, and I picked the electric. And so I had to have a bath. I had to heat water up on the stove to have a bath.

But that makes you appreciate what you have, right? Like every time you turn on your hot water, I'm sure you go back and remember. I think it's—

Not so much anymore, but for a couple of years. And my husband always used to kid me, you'll love Michigan. We have hot water here.

That's amazing that— from that story that you would even think of like, well, let me— how can I continue helping women? And then develop www.4divas.com, which— so explain that, that how—

well, first I, I wrote the book, and, um, a man that I met asked me— I actually met him on LinkedIn, which is I think where you and I may have met. No, we met on Facebook. But, um, He asked me to do a radio show based on the devolution. That was in 2012. And I said, okay. So I started doing it and it was costing me way too much money, $1,500 a month.

Wow. Yeah.

And so I said, the heck with this. I could do this cheaper. And I found a way to do it cheaper. And I went on a local Shark Tank and raised the money to do it.

Oh, oh, I was uncomfortable on the other side. I thought my computer screwed up.

Okay, and I raised the money to buy all the equipment. So that's how W4 Divas started, and that was— let me think a minute— 2013, 7 years ago.

Wow. And so much has changed. You were kind of on— so when people were— even before podcasts were really being talked about, I mean, you, you created something so special. That's amazing. And you didn't just keep it for— you have male hosts and female hosts, which is really nice. So that, that's fun. Yeah.

And from all over the place.

Is that like your fun thing that you do? Like, you know, you're kind of your passion and your your fun?

Well, my, my real passion is speaking and coaching, but W4 Divas fits right in there, and we can reach a lot more people with a lot more different things than just me, and for a lot less money. So I think now, I think that, that, um, being the way that things are now is the perfect time for W4 Divas to take off. So I really hope it does. And I just feel bad for our advertisers who are closed. And I'm working from home, but that's okay. It, it'll all work out. There's a reason why this happened. My dogs are very happy.

Oh, I know all the dogs in the world are gonna be crying in a couple of weeks when everyone goes back to work. But yet when you, when they do go back to work, that's what they're gonna need to see. And, and, you know, people are gonna want to advertise more. And want to do that shift. You know, it's funny, I'm thinking back on when you and I were talking, and I don't even know, during all of— did I ever talk about what I had gone through myself? How I was—

you talked a little bit about it, and, um, like little pieces of it, you know, but you never told me the whole story until you were working on the book.

Yeah, I think because I felt my parents were still alive and I never wanted them to feel feel bad about it, that what was going on. And because I think they, they knew what was going on, but they didn't— I don't think that they honestly, because they were older, that they really realized what it was doing inside to me. And I never said, you know, I can't take it anymore, if one more person says that nobody respects me. But it was weird because my dad's secretary was pulling it on me and, and literally only stopped because of the book. I think when she read— if she read the book, what I would hope that she would have realized, oh my gosh, I've been— because after my dad, my father passed away, she called my brothers and said to my brothers, nobody wants to work with Adrienne. Everyone's going to quit if Adrienne comes into the business, right? So like, how can I even argue with that? It was like, really? So trying to get myself to even like myself, to think that maybe I'm worth something, was, was pretty tough, actually. So, but I have, I mean, you know, and I love SCORE and I love the things that I've been doing and I'm enjoying the candid conversation. And Carmen here who has Fast Signs, owner of Fast Signs, is doing it. I would love to see everyone do this, show off your friends, because I think it's really cool because we're like-minded. So we kind of hang out with the same people.

What do you think? Yes.

Yeah. What was that?

I'll get you in touch with them.

Oh, oh, oh, with all the other hosts?

I—

so now things are going to be so different. First of all, I know it's snowing in Connecticut and we're a little windy here today in Daytona Beach. Do you have snow on the ground?

No, it was snowing earlier but it didn't stick.

What are you— what are you doing about like food? Like, do you cook? Oh yeah, you must be— you're a nutritional— so what was dinner last night?

Last night we actually had leftovers. We had, um, I had made a tuna noodle vegetable bake and we ate, finished it last night. Right now I'm— today I'm making dirty rice.

Oh, oh, you must have like the beans in it.

Yes, except I'm making it with ground turkey.

Oh. I wonder if there was like a competition online or something. Maybe I would enjoy like cooking a little better because I don't— I don't know. I, I'm missing—

I get tired of cooking the same thing sometimes. We eat, you know, being Italian, I, I make a lot of pasta, but, um, but it's— it gets old sometimes. But I try to make it with different stuff, like I make chicken cacciatore sometimes, or Sometimes I'll just make a regular old marinara, and sometimes— a lot of times we just have vegetables in it, like artichoke hearts and mushrooms.

And see, the problem is I don't really like a red sauce, so I have to use— so I was gonna do shrimp today. I have shrimp thawing, and I have the spaghetti, and I was going to create an Alfredo. And I was actually thinking of using flour, like, like old-fashioned, like I think you do the butter with the flour and make the White curry.

Yes, yeah, yeah.

And then you put a little milk in it. Thank God for the internet, I can find that out, right? I don't even— Yes.

You know what I made with shrimp last week? I made cilantro lime shrimp.

I don't like cilantro and I don't like lime. See, I'm so picky. This is it. Part of the problem of cooking is that I don't like so much. I don't, you know, like, I can literally eat like porridge The court, forage, like day and night. Like, I am so bland that it's a problem. So everyone's like gives me advice. I'm like, no, I wouldn't like that. No, no, no. I've talked to a few other coaches, and I think that you are an amazing coach, and you like live and breathe it too. And you and I were talking about— because I had said, I, I, I think, I think back, if I had a coach it would have been a different story for me. I know it would have been.

It would have.

And now I've been told, well, you need a coach to move on because you're— you bring it up a lot. I also was told— I also was told by my friend David, he said, you know, Adrienne, you don't realize a lot of times when you— when you say what was going on with you, you kind of like just spill it out, you know, but that it sometimes really is a shock to other people. And that, and I, you know, and that, that some, you know, like people have to process sometimes that how I was dealing with what I was dealing with, that, you know, and it may not sound like such a big deal, but when you are consistently told, I'm defending you, and, you know, nobody likes you, nobody wants to work with you, you know, people get combat pay. I heard that one too. Or emails. Oh my God, I had the, the emails I mean, I could write a book on the emails. I'll send an email and it's like immediately criticized and critical, and like words that I didn't even say are put in there. And I'm like— and now I realize it, because when you have a narcissistic personality disorder, you're not even— like, how my brother reads an email that I write compared to what I'm thinking, completely different. So I've got to deal with— I'm reading his notes and going, holy crap, like, did he totally How did he even put words in? Crazy.

You know, we all kind of do that. That's the problem with texting and email, because our— we all have our own filters. And not being able to see your face or hear the tone of your voice, and oftentimes even then we miscommunicate because we— it goes through a filter of past pain. Oh, or in his case, he has a narcissistic brain, and so he filters it differently than, than most people. And, and it's usually not the person's fault. It's because— and directly, but it's— you have to let go of what happened and accept people how they are and hear what they're saying. And listening is an art, and there's people that don't practice that art.

It's true, it's true. I do, I feel like I'm at the point now where I really do need to start to, um, to figure it out so I'm not carrying all that baggage, you know. I said no, it doesn't bother me. Obviously it does. And we're still communicating because he's the executor of the state, so there's so much, you know, questioning and, and the businesses and, you know, so And I— and too, I also always want to make sure that people remember that it's my parents that started the businesses. You know, even when I had the gallery here, I never could ever say— if someone said, is this your gallery? I'd be like, no, it's my parents' gallery. Like, I can't take credit for something that's not mine. And so often I'm like, I, I try to constantly give my parents the credit. They were so proud of their museum. That was such a big deal to them. And my dad just loved it, loved it, loved it. He wanted to, um, in a way he really wanted to move it to South Florida so more people would enjoy the museum. But he loved the fact that there was a tour. And so the girls promoted it the other day, or this morning, on, uh, on Facebook, which I love. But anyway, so I, I love talking to you. I want to hear more about, about what's happening in Michigan too. Now we don't have to get political, But you are making the news right now.

Yeah, not personally.

Not personally.

Michigan is a funny state. I've never, um, I've lived in Ohio and California and now Michigan, and never have there been— I've never lived someplace where so many people had second homes, you know. And I, when I lived in Ohio, I lived in a resort area and people did have second homes, but but not like here. It's— the water's pure and clean and it's not polluted, and there's very little population up north, they call it up north in Michigan. And it's beautiful up there, and there's waterfalls and hiking trails. And so— and the hunting, a lot of hunters go up there, so there's a lot of hunting cabins. My— we own one, well, my husband does. And so they— on the weekends, everybody goes up north. I mean, there's traffic jams on the freeways on Friday going north and on Sunday night going south, you know. So everybody goes up north, and, um, Governor Granholm said that there's no traveling right now. And, and it makes perfect sense because, because it's not populated up there, there's very few cases of it. There's like 1 or 2 in most counties. And if we— and so many people, as we know, are carriers and show no symptoms. So she said no traveling, and most states have said that, and most states have been fine with it. But not Michigan, because all those guys can't go up to their cabins. And if you looked at the people that were marching on the Capitol, they were almost all men. So that's it.

So she has, um, so she has the, uh, the police or the troopers or whatever you call sheriffs on the— making sure so they have traffic, they're stopping traffic.

I don't think so. I don't think that it's gone that far, but you know, it might. I don't know. Um, we have a Florida Well, my husband's gonna come home, the dogs are gonna start bark— start barking.

So we, um, in Florida we have that Governor DeSantis has— because we're very close to New Orleans, which has a high level, so we stopped that. The Panhandle, uh, we have testing from coming from, you know, if New Yorkers or anyone up north is coming in. So there's a lot of— it's weird to even think that people are still traveling. And yes, it kind of has Even this all out, I, you know, I left the family business and I actually, I'm grateful in a lot of things. I'm grateful that I can live on very little money now and that I, and I've learned how to be careful of money more because I really wasn't great with money and that I understand. And, you know, we live, we live in a beautiful place, but, you know, and it's expensive, but not as expensive as what I would remember growing up or living in Celebration or Miami area.

Right.

So, you know, watching our pennies has been, uh, been fun. So I like the fact that what you're saying, because we— it's okay, you know what I mean? It really is. And I can't travel now, but nobody can travel. So I did book a cruise for Alana and I, um, the first week. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? They'll refund my money. But I thought, well, it'll be fun to just get away with her because she's so easy to be with, right? You know, I don't know, it's just weird. I— but Sammy's in Shanghai, my 31-year-old. Ah, so do you ever follow— you ever go see what he does? Is Set for Set. He sells the steel bases.

Yes, you sent me there. It's pretty cool.

It is really cool. He's got a lot of like cool things going on. But, um, so if I had to go anywhere, I would want to go back to China and see him and just— and it's not that expensive. You could eat like a pig which I love.

But anyways, I had plans to go to Long Beach, California to see my oldest son, and in September. And I just found out a couple weeks ago that my— well, a couple months ago now— that my youngest son and his wife are having another baby. And guess when it's due? September. Wow. Yeah, so I'm gonna wait and go after the baby's born.

Now they live close to Long Beach.

Errol, my oldest one, lives right in Long Beach, but my youngest one lives in Ohio. He's about 3 hours away, and I miss them. I used to go down there every month to see my grandbaby and, and my son and, and his wife, and I haven't been able to go now, so it's I miss them.

I know, it's like Alex had, um, Alex just had Axel. Alex had his son, he called Axel, A-X-E-L. So cute, and he's so adorable. And I got to see him, they were here for Michaela's cheerleading, my granddaughter's cheerleading. But we are planning to go to Connecticut and see my girlfriend Dee too. But the other thing is, um, Long Beach has the Queen Mary, doesn't it have that? That one? Yes, we were there. We drove from Tucson to Long Beach, and I promised Alana for her 12-year-old birthday, I was so sure we would get on that boat and sleep overnight. So I've got to do that with her because that looks so much fun.

Yes.

Yeah. And probably go back to Tucson to see my Rudy, my other son. So I get to have vacations now just visiting your children, right?

Right.

Well, you look great. I'm so glad. So let's talk about the— let's go back to Adrian's P's and Q's. You'll send me that information. And I think that would be really fun and do it completely unscripted with like a Dear Abby style. Okay, I would love that.

And everyone could be like, I'll even come up with some questions so you've never seen them before.

Yes, okay.

I love that.

One of my favorite things to do when I'm asked to speak is I love when people stand up and give their 30-second elevator speech and then allow me to like discuss it with them because I could always seem to pull pull stuff out of them to even make it better. So that's fun to do too. So it's sometimes not etiquette but business related. And, uh, I love you. Thank you for coming on and talking to me and letting me be the, uh, the, the person. My pleasure.

I, you know, I'll do it anytime. I love you.

I love your hair, by the way. It's gorgeous. Thanks.

Thanks. I stopped coloring it.

Yeah, that's beautiful too. I mean, I think that gray and natural is beautiful. But you're lucky that it's kind of— it looks like it's a perfect, um, all of it around, you know, just— it's perfect.

Thanks.

But I actually wanna— I think I want you to take a picture of it so I can go in and see if I can get them to do that to my hair so I can copy you.

Okay.

Yeah. And then I'll take this off. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. No, no, I can't do it. Yeah, I can't. I can't. It's so bad. All right, love you. Have a good rest of the day. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And I can stop