Candid Conversation with Adrienne Barker

Tina, you could use more time during the day, can't you?

Um, I think everybody can, but somehow we make it work within that time. Sometimes you go earlier, you go a bit later.

I— so tell me, so 7 kids, a full-time business, author, 7, 5, 5 kids. Look, so many. 5, 7, what's the difference?

I'm a baby of 7 kids.

Oh, that's why I'm thinking of it. I— you know what, that is a beautiful picture that you have from that siblings day. Was that New York?

Oh yeah, that was— yeah, my, uh, that— we're 7, 2 boys, 5 girls that my parents had.

Oh, your parents are blessed. That is a beautiful photo. I looked at each of you. I really— so beautiful. So 5 kids. The mortgage company, the— you motivate, you wrote the book, you have that beautiful Dream 7 Designs. Do you still— are you still doing that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I— so on my store, we just updated my store. We did a line for, um, COVID-19. You know, we stick together and we just said like, you know, hashtag 6 feet apart, and then my saying EFD, which is every freaking day, meaning just do it every freaking day. So we just came out with a line, 100% of the profits are going to go to, and we listed like 5 charities so that depending on if you're in New York, New Orleans, or if you're anywhere in the country or in the world, you can choose one of those national companies. And then we have our local Housing for All that we support.

You are, you give. So Adina and I met at the Chamber of Commerce and the Celebration Area Council back in the day. Are they still active? The CAC?

They are. Yeah, they are. I believe they are. Yeah.

So we had, we had fun. We were involved in a lot of different things together. And that was awesome. And what you've done with La Rosa Companies, but I want to, I want to like hear more about like everything that you're doing, because you've had the two babies a little later in life, not too late in life, but, but a little later in life, and you got married. And so tell, tell us first about Dream Seven Designs, a little bit about the initial, the beginning, what you were thinking of when you were doing that.

Sure. So when the market crashed, right, and it dragged on for years, we had— we were blessed, right, having our 3 girls and getting married. And it's funny that when we got married, everything was kind of great, but it was starting to like, what's going to go on here? So it all kind of crashed and fell apart. And we had my daughter Ella. So now, again, blessed with 4 girls. And then we had my son Joey, right? So when I was pregnant with Joey, we knew right away— they realized that he was going to have issues because whatever the shot they give you, like after your last pregnancy and at 27 weeks to protect with the blood mixing between a mom, like the Rh factor, didn't work. So what happened, it's my husband's phone going. So what happened, they ended up just saying something's wrong. We see that his kind of, do you hear that phone? Sorry.

Oh no, don't even worry about it. We're candid. It's okay. Life happens.

So they said like right away there was going to— he was basically— my body was like recognizing him as like a foreign antibody. So they were like kind of trying to, I mean, for lack of a better word, kill him. So right away it was like a struggle with him. And I think like 14 weeks on, they were watching him and thank God to the great doctors, but they had to deliver him earlier and I had to get blood transfusions while I was pregnant with him. So all this, you know, with all this stuff going on, was still like, my son's a miracle, even though he was in the NICU for a month. And when he came home, he had to deal with torticollis and all this other— 5 transfusions, I think he had, 4 after he came out. So all this going on, I saw people just being so upset because they were losing, just like we did, houses, cars, you name it. And I just felt like I wanted to take a stand for what's really important, which is family. And so I had done a 2-page article at the time in Celebration Life, which we didn't have much money, but you pay for it when you want to. Advertising that. So I paid to just talk about like the grace of God and how, you know, um, we'll never take you where the wrath of God won't protect you, or the wrath of God will never take you where the grace of God will never protect you. And just about what's truly important. Like money you can get again, you can get, you know, work on all that, but your family and your health is number one. So I, from there, I just thought, you know, I want to do something a little different. So I decided to come up with the designs. And Peter Raimondo, who's still a dear friend of mine, who's just an amazing Animator, he was an animator for Disney, just an amazing writer and artist. He ended up working with me. I called him over to our house one day and I'm like, I want to do this. And so we came up with some designs having to do with hope and, and just faith and love and peace and everything. And it started from there, and then it kind of sat on the back burner for a while, and then I've kind of picked it back up, reinspired, and just, you know, kind of like driving it, um, the way I wanted to, um, just because I'm passionate about what you wear, what's around you, the people you hang around is all a direct reflection of what's really going on in your mind and in your heart. So that's how it started.

That is so beautiful. That is kind of why I'm doing this, is I want to have people meet like the friends that I know because they have— because you, you have such a great story and you are so like-minded and you're, you're a hard-working woman, but you're always a mom first, which is really beautiful. But you are brilliant. Now, where did you go to school?

Where— Thank you. I went and I lived in Franklin Square. So when I moved from Queens, so I really all of my schooling was in Franklin Square. And then I went to Adelphi University. So when I went, I worked all day, right? So, you know, I came— I didn't— we didn't have a lot of money growing up. So we had to work, right? You didn't— you weren't getting anything. So I had a full-time job when I graduated. I had a job when I was in school. Right after school, I would go work sometimes two different jobs. And then so when I graduated, I went straight to work and I would go to school at night. So I went to Adelphi University at night. So I would work like 9 to 5, 6 to 10-ish. I would go to Adelphi and I took like psychology, accounting, business and finance and management type stuff. But then I ended up getting married, so I never finished high school. So I only had like 36 credits. And then I ended up getting a job in finance and they put me through like Sybase and New York Institute of Finance on equities and bond market trading. So everything else I did from that point was all in what I did for a living, which was finance and equities and bond market trading.

Sorry, just kidding. I just wouldn't be able to walk in the door. I know nothing. Before I forget—

I don't know how I did, honestly. I look back, like, I spent like 7 years in Manhattan being a software engineer doing quality assurance with developers. And I'm like, on the equities in the stock market, I'm like, who would have thought? I would do that, but I always loved math and I always loved accounting and I was always a numbers person, so, you know.

That makes sense. I have to ask, how are your parents right now? Where do they, they're in New York?

No, no, so my parents moved to Florida. So they live here. Yeah, my dad was starting to, we noticed the last few years that my dad was having some memory issues. And so, oh, go ahead. Trying to get through this. Oh, I'm sorry. So we noticed that he was having memory issues. So a bunch of us were talking and we're like, something's definitely going on. So my sister in New York, who was closest to him, was taking him to a neurologist. And we noticed that he had— we ended up finding out he had vascular dementia. So my mom, not as bad, but it got to the point where it was just like my sister was like, My sister lived in New York. My other sister in Connecticut were the closest. It was just like doctors, doctors and all this other stuff. And then we started to realize that he was just not— the medicine wasn't being taken right. So long story short, I was getting back from Alaska with my kids and Joe, and I was getting calls from my dad at weird hours of the night. So you could tell something was wrong. So when we landed, I sent them home. I went to New York and they basically came down with packed bags and said, take us with you. And my sister happened to be away at the time. She was in Italy, so she wasn't nearby. So I figured, okay, great, I'll take them home for a week with me while my sister's away and then we'll figure it out. And while they were with me, I realized that there, there was no figuring it out. Like they needed 24/7 care. My mom's memory was already slipping, but my dad was in serious, like late stages of dementia. So with the help of all my siblings who are a blessing, 2 or 3 of them flew in. Um, actually, my one sister's not too far from here, and she lives in, um, in Florida. She came in, my 2 sisters from New York, Connecticut, my brother from Arizona. We all just, you know, um, got them in Windsor at Celebration, here in Celebration, a beautiful assisted living who also has memory care, knowing that my dad was going to go that route, but promising them that we would not do that until We absolutely had to because, you know, we didn't want to do that because it was my dad's worst nightmare, dementia. He used to say that he would never live that way. And of course, my mom has high blood pressure and she was getting anxiety over caring for him. And it was just both struggling to remember. It was like very contentious. And, you know, they just passed 65 years of being married, 7 kids through all all the highs and lows, working together as a team, my dad working two jobs, my mom taking care of us. And the first time in the last month or six weeks that they've been separated, my mom stayed in assisted living, my dad's in memory care. Right before this happened, my sister Lynn and I, she flew in 'cause I cried to her on the phone saying, I can't do this alone. And so she came in and we moved him in and we stayed with him until he basically fell asleep that night. And then this kind of happened, and we have not been able to physically see him since.

I was thinking, because I remember you coming back from Alaska. I love the trip and the pictures and everything. I was living through there through your pictures. So this is very recent. I'm sorry. I know how difficult this is.

It is. You know, in fact, I went there a couple of times, and I went to the— the people there are so amazing. We were able to— my mom's not really good with technology, so we've kind of given her phones and stuff, and we can't really FaceTime a lot, but we call her. We've even— my sister and I have even gone outside the building building. She's on the third floor. Wave to her while we're talking to her. And she's— my mom's a trooper. I mean, she, um, you know, is not, uh, you know, she's always taking care of us. And she, she actually, at 55, I think it was, she got a— went back, got her GED, got her associate's, her bachelor's, like, all at— in, in her 50s. And, you know, my dad's always just worked, worked. So it's kind of— we have so much respect for them. And, um, so it's heartbreaking because they lived everything for their kids. They were never Nothing was ever important like houses, money, cars, jewelry, nothing. It was always about the family. And so they put that, they gave us that work ethic, integrity, and that family values. But my dad, I went to the window and I kind of like held my hand up to him. And it was, I have my daughter, my husband took a video and then my daughter actually put this like song that I danced with my dad to on it. And I'm telling you, it is like a tearjerker because it's sad and heartbreaking, We know he's being— they're being cared for, and it's unfortunate what's going on. But I think that maybe God knew the timing was right because we were forced to allow them to— my mom to get independent and be alone and have that peace and quiet and know what it's going to be like, you know, when my dad does pass on, right? And then for my dad to get adjusted into memory care so that when this is over and I can pick him up, it's not going to be like, I'm not going back. So it's been heartbreaking because, you know, you look at your heroes and who you love and you see that I just want— every day I'm like, Joe, I'm just going to pick him up and take him home. And he's like, you know, you can't do that because he wakes up in the night, he doesn't know where he is, and then it's dangerous for my kids, you know. And so it's heartbreaking, but that's, that's probably the biggest, the hardest thing that, um, me and my, uh, 6 other siblings are going through right now.

I am so sorry. And the COVID-19, that's really putting— that's That's just, that is so difficult. You know, it's interesting that you married Joe who has, I had the opportunity to meet, actually I think my dad also met Joe's father. And I remember that. And so he had the same kind of parents 'cause my dad was like, 'cause my dad would be like, how is that couple? She's really pretty, blonde, thin. And then the man, I think he was a realtor. My dad would remember like, and how are they? At the time, I don't, I think looking for a space, right? For the gallery and celebration. But Joe has the same beautiful relationship with his parents too. They kind of growing up, right? That's interesting.

Yeah, and it's hard. It's hard right now too because of his parents, you know, his dad recovering from the pancreatic cancer, his mom having that multiple myeloma. They're both, they can't take a chance with this. So we've kind of like pulled in front of their house and waved. In fact, on Easter we dropped off a little something for them and they've actually dropped stuff off and with the masks, you know, but we can't even, you know, we don't want to take a chance with them either, right? So, um, yeah, it's rough, but his parents— his dad is like amazing. His, his, uh, positivity and everything, it's just— he, you know, and his mom of course is just a tough cookie. She is, um, you know, she's amazing. She's able to handle even being on chemo like 3 out of 4 weeks a month and taking care of everything and still just always, what can I do for you? What can I do for you? You know, So, um, they're even calling us, do you need toilet paper? Do you need anything from the store? We're like, no, like, we were okay.

But yeah, that is so beautiful. Oh, I wonder how my parents would have done with everything going on. I, you know, I just questioned that because you might laugh, but my dad lost my mom. That he just couldn't— he was not— he just, he couldn't understand it. He was just all confused. He was in the hospital for a heart attack, actually. My dad had just received a very high honor from the Boys and Girls Club. And so he received that on a Friday night. It was over at the— they lived at the Diplomat Residences, so it was at the Diplomat next door, the hotel. And then the next day he went to get a haircut and he's like, I'm not feeling very well. And he ended up in the hospital with a heart attack. And my mom— it was October 22nd— my mom, I don't think that— and not that it's anybody's fault, but I don't think anyone made it clear to my mom that my dad was in the hospital. And so she had— she probably saw the empty bed, even though my mom was half in and out of it because she fell, but she had the heart attack. So my dad is in the hospital with a heart attack, and all of a sudden my sister had to go and tell my dad that his beloved wife, who's 2 months before 70 years, passed away and was downstairs in the room. The hospital allowed my mom to stay there so my dad could go down. From that moment on, he just couldn't really understand, and he just— it was very hard for him.

He—

it took him months to try to really get like how that could have happened. He would call the rabbi. And the rabbi was so nice. I love the rabbi. And he would come in and just sit with my dad to try to explain, you know, how it happens and how doing great things— the rabbi, Alana, the rabbi said, when you do really great things in life, you do a mitzvah. And it helps my mom. So, but it— I, I know it's, it's just heartbreaking. Yeah, it's so heartbreaking. My dad— I don't know if I told you this— my father went into the hospital, he had fluid on his chest. So last April 3rd, he went into the hospital to, um, to get the fluid out, and somehow, some way, it wasn't— the hospital didn't realize that he was on blood thinners, and my dad bled to death. And my dad was so afraid of the hospital. I had— there was a point where I was leaving Celebration and living in Hollywood, and I was kind of going back and forth, and I was taking the Leadership Hollywood class. And so my dad, like, He just didn't like the hospital. So I spent many times where, like, I've seen him check himself out, like, against the wishes. So, like, for him, he was like, he didn't want to be in the hospital. But for him to go and then actually be there because he's a world patient, and then to, and then to end up passing away with the one thing that he was always scared of, I think that's a weird— I'm like, how did that happen? What are you doing, Alana?

Um, yeah, that's what— and I, I think about that with my, my dad. It's like this— he used to say, this is not the way I'm gonna go. I'd rather lose all my body than my mind. Because he was such a strong man and like in mind, right? And he had to make sure he could manage financially for the whole family and take care of everything. And he was always in such control of everything. For him to like lose control of that, I think is what he was fighting the dementia, right? So it would make him frustrated and, and upset. So, yeah, it's, it's hard when you think of what amazing fathers they are and parents and then to go the way they, you know, like that. But, you know, somebody at— this man David at Windsor who's been amazing support because it's been hard, right, to have them in even assisted living, but even in memory care. And for my dad, he said to me— I said, it's just me and my sister upset. And we were like crying there saying like, this is not— he doesn't deserve this. Like, my parents worked their whole lives, like, you know, took care of their kids. They were so selfless, right? And, um, and to go this way, they didn't— and it was, you know, they didn't get to travel, they didn't get to do this. And then I remembered, like, that didn't even matter to my parents. Like, having 7 children that are doing great, have good hearts, and then having all the grandkids that they have that are such amazing kids, and then the grandkids have kids, really, like— and he said, you're— that's not dementia, or Alzheimer's is not your parents' legacy. You are all 7 of your siblings. And I sat there and I thought, and my sister and I looked at each other like, that's right. So I kind of, when I was, it was hard for me to do, continue doing what I do when you have to be, you know, positive. And I, and you want to be passionate and still uplifting when you're suffering and crying at night in your bed because your, your dad's being tortured by his own mind. But I kept reminding myself, like, what would my dad say to me? And my dad would say, keep going, don't worry about me. And he would say, just, you know, do what you do and, um, and keep, you know, with the work ethic, the integrity, and keep helping others. And my mom was always like that, very kind-hearted, and she would give anything to everyone. I think St. Jude, she's probably given more money than she's made to, I swear. But so like, they— they're— we're their legacy. So my dad would want us to continue to just do things in his name. Um, so that's why I'm always— that's why I kept Keller on my book, because I'm so proud of my maiden name.

That is so beautiful. Oh, I'm sorry, I should have added it under here. Um, tell me about— so, so you, so you're working— so Union Home Mortgage Corp, what, what exactly?

So I'm an area sales manager for Union Home Mortgage. So, um, you remember back in the day I had my own mortgage company, and then when the market was crashing and I had, um, I was pregnant with Ella, and then I found out about Joey, I couldn't, you know, uh, I couldn't just sustain that business not alone Managing a team because it was like a time where a leader had to be like 100%, you know, dedicated. And obviously I had my, my family already. We had 3 kids. Ella was a newborn, right? Um, and then I found that I was pregnant with Joey and was having issues. So, um, I never— so when I was out of it, and then when I started to get back in, or just to help Joe when he— because he built LaRosa Realty and he needed an affiliate for a lending side, and he was having trouble getting someone that he can really rely on. And so he— I got out and he pulled me back in. I didn't want to open my own company again. I didn't want to be a broker. I wanted to be able to support the growth that, um, that Joe has, because you have to be able to have a strong company. And I didn't want all that. There's so much regulation after 9/11, and the liability is intense. And so I started looking into other companies, and I, and I did take, um, you know, I moved around like, I guess, 2 or 3 times and tried different companies over that whatever, 10-year span. But Union Home Mortgage, I met the managers, or like I should say, the regionals with Bill Cosgrove and Al Blank, who are the— Al and Bill. Bill is the CEO, President of Union Home Mortgage, and they're just amazing people. And I love their values in the company, the way they treat everyone like partners. They're not looking to do every loan. They want to focus on— they want to get people in homes, but they don't want to put them in a home knowing that if they get— they take off again, they're not gonna be able to pay their mortgage. So it's just responsible lending. So, um, that's why we aligned ourselves with them, and they've been the preferred lender, um, for the last 2 years for, uh, La Rosa Realty. So it's a great company, and I run my sales team, and, um, and, you know, they're my family, so they've been with me forever, you know. And, uh, so yeah, I'm enjoying that.

I have to tell you, I really— I remember the crazy thing is, I— by going back to Joey, I remember the lockdown in the hospital, right?

Yes. I was just talking to Joe about the other day, we were driving and we stopped into Einstein or Einstein Bagels, whatever it's called, and they blocked off the streets because somebody was either a bomb threat or a parent was actually threatening the hospital, the doctor. And Joey was in the NICU at the time. I remember, like, I'm telling you, I think about some of the things I've been through. You start back from 9/11 to the market crash to You know, Megan— forget Megan's birth. I had blood transfusions and, and they didn't think I was going to survive her birth. So I mean, like, I've had so many different things that I think about. I'm like, oh God, Lord, I, I should be made of steel by now. Give me a break.

You are. But that was that day.

I remember thinking, oh my God, please, you did not put this boy through all this, put us through this, to, to have something happen to my little boy now. And, um, and yeah, it was a scary time. And we sat there and waited and waited until we were able to get to see him in the hospital. But yeah, you remember that?

That was It feels like yesterday too, weirdly enough. I do remember because I remember putting myself in your shoes and thinking that had to be just the hardest thing for a mom to be dealing with that. And so, my gosh. And then, okay, so now to go back to Big Joe now. So, so I remember with the Rosa coming into the office a few times and talking and the, the plan and the, the plan of attack of the growth. And then now, I mean, before you even had the website, remember Joe telling me that what his plans were, like his goals So it had to have been about 8, 10 years ago. And he's like, so he superseded it, right? I mean, he's got to be like, totally.

Yeah, he's, um, that's, that's his, you know, whenever he got taken out of that, um, you know, working in it instead of on it, you know, that's when, um, he would say, I have this vision, right? And he's always stuck to that, and he's always laid it out. He's a planner for sure. And a strategizer and, and the visionary behind it. So he is, you know, organically somewhat has created an amazing team around him, and they're all just, um, doing amazing things. So yeah, now he's franchised, right? So now he's in, I want to say, 5 states, but it might be 7, um, because that's his thing. But then, and now he's in, I think, 7 other countries.

Yeah, it's incredible to watch.

Yeah, so it's amazing. And it's just— but the great— the greatest thing of all that growth really is And that's one of the things why we started doing a lot of the training and we're creating this, um, like kind of Thrive Tribe and, um, Thrive Society is because what he never wants to be is so big that he can't still be one-on-one with the people within the company, right? So we've created— and so that's the important thing about that is to make sure all his franchisee owners and his managers all have our, you know, like treating that team and those realtors like family. So he wants it to be about the agents, which is what he built his whole company on. So it's amazing because we still, through all these different things we're doing, especially now when it's supposed to be social distancing, we're really just physical distancing, but socially we've been every day, all day talking to agents and managers and then people outside. And I think he had like 80 agents join him this month. Wow.

Well, I somehow I got invited to the Thrive, the Thrive private group, so I accepted. I hope it was okay. I don't know if it was. Oh yeah, no, we just—

we do a lot of training in there and, um, we do our Plan Over Panic series and I share my One Family webinar series. And, and we have a bunch of other things coming up that we'll be announcing in the next few days. So it's just giving content, giving value, knowledgeable— bringing knowledgeable and experienced people on different, um, areas and just sharing that to just help people grow and, you know, get out of their comfort zone so that they can grow, right? Because if you stay content, and you're not really growing. So we just try to teach people how to form new habits and, and plan too, because with everything going on, Joe and I learned, right, from the market crash on how to be more prepared financially, right? Not— and my dad used to always say, don't live on your best month, live on your worst month, right?

So don't—

right. So Joe and I kind of changed our lifestyle here where if, you know, we always were prepared that, well, if anything was to happen, our lifestyle can warrant if we both have to go get a 9-to-5 job. That's kind of what we learned from the scariness of the crash, because we were having our 4th child, and then we were— I was pregnant with Joey being our 5th child. So we kind of prepared our lifestyle around that. So now what we do is we— our big exp— our big, like, spending is on our family vacations. I love it because nobody can take that away from us. That's in, you know, in our memories. It's And I do the books for the vacation so our kids can look back on it. But if so, like now with everything going on, when you have to cut back, it's like, okay, so we, we will get a credit on our vacations because we're obviously not going to go traveling now. We were supposed to be in 12 countries this year, but, but everything else will stay the same and we can sustain the companies and protect the people that work for us. That's our family. But yeah, so it's just we want to teach other people, be prepared for that rainy day. You know, don't live above your means, you know, because we've done it. Don't, um, just don't— we, you know, be hopeful because we should be hopeful, but we also have to plan for that, that rainy day. Like in Florida, if you're in real estate mortgages, it's hurricanes. I mean, if there's a hurricane happens, you could be dead in the water for 15 days, you could be dead in the water for 60 days. So you have to be able to, you know, budget because we're on commission. So, um, so for him and I, it's We've learned it the hard way, and we just want other people to realize it too.

I love that. What are you making, Ilana? Oh my gosh. OK, Ilana's making something. She's not a good cook, but I don't want her to hear me.

Oh, it's OK, Ilana. Neither am I.

What is this? What is this supposed to be, honey?

Is that cake batter?

Did you follow the recipe? Or brownies? Is it brownies? OK, you followed it perfectly? And you put— It looks good to me. OK. What? It's delicious. Go put it in the pan. No, not really. It tastes weird. What'd you do? You put applesauce in it?

Oh, that's good then.

2 applesauce is fine. Go ahead, put it in the pan.

Good.

So applesauce? It's delicious, Alana. So I have to say, I have to say, she's like pancakes. I tell her all the time, I'm like, it's OK, Alana. Pancakes are like kids. The first couple ones you got to throw away. They get better at the end. Kidding, kidding, because I have 4 great kids. I have to say, I do— your husband looks so happy, and I love seeing that because I, I, you know, because I was there kind of towards the time when you first met him. And so when I look and I see how just— you could just see it, you know. And well, first I remember when he started to like fit, like lose a little weight.

And so he lost some more pounds.

Yeah, amazing.

They're not easy. So in the beginning It was a rough time. It was rough for all of us. So thankfully now we really have blended well and it'll never be perfect. You can still get into it here and there, but we have a very well-functioning family. So I get along with my stepdaughter's mom very well. She's one of my friends and then Joe and Chris are friends. But in the beginning it was hard. That's why I started, I wrote my book and even while I was writing my book, it was still, we were having some struggles But now I have my One Family webinar series because, and I want to pull them in so that we can share what we did. And even though it's kind of my journey and it's like what I did right, what I did wrong, it's not pulling on anybody else's journey, right? But mine and Joe's, it's still like if somebody had come to me during that and said, no, don't say that because that might hurt someone's feelings or that might hurt your kids' feelings, like, or don't do that because in the end that's not really going to help you. I would have listened, but I didn't have any guide. You know, there's no parenting guide, never mind a guide when you're blending families and dealing with exes and being a stepparent. It's hard. So we've kind of navigated it, and we probably got some broken ribs and, and, um, some bruises still from it. But we, um, you know, it— what I'm trying to help people is like, look at the— keep the end in mind. And what do you want? You just want a good, healthy, loving family. And if you want to have a healthy, loving family, you have to love on your stepkids, your kids equally. and you have to also love on your stepkids' parents and vice versa, your exes, because we all made up these kids. So it's just, it's like that let go and that peace and that really just lean in with your heart type, um, thing that we've tried to learn with. And we— and Joe and I have been able to, you know, teach each other that. He's taught me how to like not engage, and I've taught him how to embrace and, and forgive and let go. So Yeah, I love that.

So I actually went through something similar with my ex-husband, so, uh, Steve. So Alex and Sammy, and— but I knew, I somehow, some way, I knew in my mind that I had to, I had to embrace Ivy, and that I could have said to myself all the things that I could have tried to say I didn't like about her, but I knew that I wouldn't even know her at that point anyway. So, but I was like, but she's a stay-at-home mom, and I knew that she would be great with the kids, and I— and so I went with all the positive. And we used to say We should go on Oprah Winfrey to show that you can be friends because there was no— like, and I say this to Alana too, no matter what, you find what you like about that person. You stick with the positive. None of us are perfect, but there were so many positive things with Ivy that I, that I loved that, you know, at times my, my children were like, we— you like Ivy more than we— than us. And I'm like, no, sir. But I kept close with her. I want to make sure. And now we're just, you know, I still take pride in her, in her children that she had with my ex-husband. And I do think we change during the decades too. So I got married in my 20s, I'm definitely not the same person in my 50s, right? Yeah, it doesn't even— that's right, right?

People change people. So I feel like, you know, and especially when you have kids, they're half mom, half dad. So, you know, we love our kids even though maybe they came from our ex. So there's obviously half and half. So, you know, and you got with that person for a reason, so you have to take that good in them and you have to understand and be and be grateful for that. But yeah, people change people, right? So when you're— as you grow and you're around the right people, you tend to just grow as a person. And I know I'm— I like myself better now than, you know, we joke around, my kids, they're like, you're pushing 50. And I'm like, I like myself better now, almost 50, than I did when I was, you know, whatever, a teenager, or even in my 30s and 40s. I've grown. So I was never a bad person, and I was always— I always had like God at the center, but I definitely make a lot less mistakes. I definitely learned from all my mistakes. But I think I also am just kinder. I let go more. I'm more forgiving. I'm more nonjudgmental. I think I've gone through so many things that I'm like, why judge anyone? You never know. If you haven't walked in their shoes, how can you really judge someone? So even though emotion is horrible, right? When you get emotional about something, you end up saying and doing the wrong thing because when it has to do with the heart. You get upset and angry. So it's a fine balance of really, you know, it's just daily struggle, I think, and it always will be, right? Is—

can, can, um, can someone join your Facebook group if they're going through being blended right now? Are you open?

Or—

oh, so will you send that to me so that I can have that, or just post it on one of our things? I think that it sounds like beautiful— a beautiful group. I used to say, um, Yeah, nobody knows what's really happening in the bedroom, so I don't judge because I don't know, nor do I care. But I think you're right, as you get older, I, I do— you just— you, you— well, sometimes I think I'm a lot like my mom. Her filter started like going away, so she would say more things and without that filter. But I think right now in my lifetime that I would— I, I want to do the right thing, and I want to see people do the right thing, so I will stand up for what's right. And I didn't have that kind of brave attitude when I was in my 30s, right? Yeah, just being able to say I would never see myself—

would you ever see yourself doing this like 10 years ago? I would never see myself voluntarily— voluntarily, is that right? Like being on like a— in front of a video camera, doing a Facebook Live, speaking up on stage. That would never— I'd be like, I sat in the back of the classroom. I, when they would say, who has a question, I'd be like this. I just never wanted that. So because I didn't want to be criticized, I didn't want to be wrong. You know, you worry about that. But now I just don't worry about any of it. It's just—

Well, so I grew— I wrote the book Head Down, Shut Up because unfortunately I was told all the time during work that nobody liked me. Nobody respected me. Nobody wanted to work with me. People get combat pay to work before me, with me. Um, and, and so that started when I came back from muscular dystrophy, so pretty much in my 30s, from my older brother. And it was, it was so, it was so calculating, you know, really was. So that— because you don't turn around and say, oh, everyone loves me, everyone likes me. Like, like I said it once, I think I, I re— I think I tried to fight it, and then it just sounded so lame too. And then I didn't want to go back like, Jackie, do you not like me? Are you talk— like It was— it puts— but what it did, because I remember the feeling, the feeling— I mean, I could cry. The feelings were really brutal. I was made fun of my weight and nobody liked me. Always defending me. Oh, you know, you're all— you're wrong, Adrienne. You're negative.

You're—

I mean, it was on and on. But I did— when I was in the group with Celebration Area Council and I'm in that boardroom, nobody's saying that to me. So I'm thinking, maybe, maybe he's not really right. Maybe people do like me. And so it did push me to get out and get involved. And I probably would have anyways, but that's the kind of emotional abuse. So I just wrote the book back in December because my father had passed away. Now he's— my brother's the executor, and now I'm still hearing it. And it's getting to a point where my dad's secretary is saying it to me now, and I'm actually getting like almost like mobbed with, you know, nobody wants to work with you. And it's like, I mean, I have to look at myself and say, is that really true? And then I'm saying, I know it's not. And so are they going to define me or am I going to define myself? So I knew at that point, I— this is what I want to do is come out and speak about— and not that I did this candid conversations, but in talking to you when I was— that, that was really what was going on a lot at the different meetings and stuff like that, is it was a consistently being, you know, feeling good, and then you get on the phone to have a conversation and it was like boom, you know. I might as well have been, uh, being beaten up. It's kind of the same way. Yeah, it's usually because of an angle.

Somebody's got an angle. Right, to keep you, push you down. And, and normally when someone's trying to keep you down or push you down, it's normally their own insecurities and their lack of belief in themselves and their lack of confidence in themselves. So since they can't bring themselves up, they'd rather push other people down. And that's—

but I would have, I would have, um, I would have liked to coach at that time. And so I really believe, like, what you and Joe are doing and the motivation, because even if someone's not telling you what they're going through, you're really helping them. And if I had a coach, or if we had the ability to get on and listen to someone else give us some good advice, I miss that. Because I mean, my internet's not that old, so— or it is, no, it's not that old. But anyway, so I, I feel like the last 27 years, like, if I could do it again, I would totally recommend making sure that you stick with people that are motivating. Stick with someone that can— you get a coach at all ages. I think my daughter, I really think that Alana could use a coach at your age. Alana, we need to have somebody— are you a coach? Because you would make a great coach.

So I do, I do coach. Hold on, I'm gonna have Joe come say hi, Joe, before he heads out. But I'll make a point to that too. So I do coach. I mean, when you're a leader, I think you are a coach because you have to coach your team and whatnot. But Joe and I are doing coaching, um, separate from that. But oh, you're gonna— well, he's not really dressed, but say hi anyway.

I was working out.

He was working out.

But that's the beauty. Joe, hi. I see all your Facebook posts, so I know.

How are you?

I'm so proud of you and Dina and the work that you've done. And just, you know what, you're so wonderful to the community of Celebration and everything that you do. So I just, I want to say thank you because I know that you really have made a big difference, the two of you, and just your own community. And that's a beautiful thing. Thank you, appreciate that. And the little Joe missed us. Football, he's going to get back on football.

Oh yeah, yeah, he, he's, uh, he actually was supposed to be playing soccer and, and, uh, flag football now, so he got pushed off a little bit. I think one of them is definitely canceled, so we'll have to see about soccer.

Well, I think not.

Yeah, yeah, you're sponsoring things.

You're amazing. Have a good rest of the night. All right, you too.

So, you know, to the point where you were saying about how Alana could use a coach, and I say the same thing to my kids, right? So to the point where I think like my daughter Megan, who's at FSU in college— wow, yeah, now she's kind of home. So I've been saying to her, uh, Megan, let's do this one, Megan, let's do this. I've even said to like Emily and Allie, and obviously because Joey and I were younger, and finally like my daughter's like, maybe we don't want to do what you do, you know? Or, or like, and my other daughter was like, Mom, like I'm 19, like I have to get through college. And then I realized it, that like I was pushing it too much, right? Because I know the journey it took for me to get there, and I just don't want their journey to be so, so that long. Like, I think about, like, if I would be where I am today in, like, my mind and not necessarily my heart, but some degree, because I didn't— I never really had confidence. I never really— I kind of was like you, like, keep your head down, you know, that type of attitude. And I think actually getting divorced and going through some of the stuff I went through kind of made me kind of tougher. And I think because my dad made us that way, I think, um, and knowing like how my mom stayed home, took care of the kids and everything, and really didn't have control of anything, I was just like, I'm never gonna not be in control of my own money. I'm never gonna rely on anyone. And so it made me kind of jagged a little bit. But you can still be strong in that, that, um, leader without having the, uh, like the little pieces of the knife sticking out, right? So I've kind of like molded myself where I'm, I'm still strong and independent, but I'm just not as sharp if that makes sense. But so I had a back wall for my kids to say they have plenty of time. Like, you know, I don't have to push it on them now. I do say, like, I'm sure you do the same thing, I plant seeds all the time, and I just— and they're always watching. So your daughter, you know, your kids, you're all— they're watching you just like my kids are watching me. And without saying anything really, they're going to be picking up these nuggets of information, and it's really going to mold them. And then when the time's right, if they want to step into, like, any of our businesses or something that we're doing, then we would love for them to do that. But now I'm kind of just coaching them indirectly where they don't think it's coaching.

I think that's beautiful. Actually, you did— your divorce that you went through was, um, I remember thinking that it was hard because it was kind of visible when you're in a small town of Celebration, less than like 8,000 people. And I remember there was a store, I want to say a food store, but I'm not really even sure.

Yeah, he opened up a deli Yeah, when we were getting divorced, I opened up the deli so that he had his business because I had mine, and he had left the police force already. So yeah, so it was very visible. It was just like walking around with the billboard saying, yes, that's right, we're having, we're having family problems and going through probably, um, one of the most horrific divorces. So join in.

Hi, your head was held up high. You never— I, I just remember being so totally impressed with you.

I say that to people all the time. Say nothing and let everything unfold. You don't have to be the center of it. But you know, most of the time you do that. But sometimes, again, when it comes to the heart and emotion— and I always had a problem with not being able to get my point across or not being able to have people see the truth in things. And then Joe taught me, because I used to say to him, like, are you going to argue to get the truth out? And he would be like, for what, to lose my peace? It doesn't matter. So he kind of taught me that it's like, you know the truth, or you know, you're, you're, um, like, you know where you stand, or you know what you want. So it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. So he kind of taught me to be that focus on you. You don't always have to prove a point. You don't always have to be right, right? Um, so is being right or proving a point more important than our family life and our peace? No. So I just gave— I— so he helped me with that.

Um, I served under you though, by the way. You— I think you were president when I was, um, when I was the CAC. When I was in the CAC, I served under you, which was great. And then with the, uh, the Relay for Life.

Yeah, yeah, me and Tracy, 2 years.

Yeah, she was amazing woman too.

Yeah, I know.

That's so— so, but thank you so much for your time. And is there— yeah, so, so you're gonna send me where someone could go on the blended families, and then the book is easy to find because actually I just put in your name, it pops up. Blended Families: A Roadmap for Success, which I love.

Actually, I have it. I think I have it here. You can get it on Amazon or on my site, but it's, um, Blended Families: A Roadmap for Success, and it's under Dina Kellor LaRosa. Yeah.

So Dina, um, if I was in your house right now, where would I see that picture on the wall? Because you, you must have it, right? Tell me. You—

oh, my dining room.

Oh, your dining room. Oh my God, bought me that when we bought the house.

So We, we were getting— we were having our office redone, right? Um, because there's a lot of us in this house, right? And it's not this huge house, so it's not like we have like, uh, because there's 5 kids, right? And then, um, so they don't all have a bedroom. Megan went to college, so we let the 2 little ones have— they're not so little anymore— but have their own bedroom. So we were working on the office and then this happened. So the office is not ready. So the dining room table, right, which is where— this is on one end of the dining room table That's Joe's office. And I have my setup in the kitchen, the kitchen table. So yeah, so it's funny because you'll hear, like, Allie's room is off to this end. So sometimes she'll wake up in the middle of us being on, like, a webinar or an office meeting with our team. And her door is like a squeaky— I'm like, we need to, like, oil that door because you always hear, like, oh, there goes Allie, she's coming out. And then, of course, out the front door.

She's beautiful too. All your children are so beautiful. I just, I love that picture. I just, like, look at it and it's such a gorgeous picture. I knew. Is it a good size? Did you get a good size? Is it like— is it a good size, the canvas of your picture?

Oh yeah, well, I'm a decent size. Yeah, we, we've taken—

we—

it went even since then. But you know, um, one of the things actually Al Blanket told me at Union Home Mortgage, he was, he was given a, um, this whole big spiel. But just to end on this, he was saying about how the difference between parenting and grandparents is parents are always trying to make sure their kids are okay, and they're always worried, like, are they doing the right thing? Are they going to be good? Are they going to be good kids? And they worry about how they dress, their hair, if they have earrings or tattoos. And then grandparents just worry about the core. He's like, it's like an apple. An apple on the outside could look really beautiful and bright and shiny red, you know, or green, whatever apple you eat. But it doesn't matter what it looks like on the outside if when you open it up it's rotten on the inside. So when he said that to me, it like hit me like, oh my God, because it's the truth. Like, I've always kind of like, every now and then I'll go off like on, why are you wearing that? But I always really focus on the core of my kids. So they are beautiful, but like all my kids' heart is like always in the right spot. And regardless of making mistakes and whatever, because we're all not perfect, but they're really good-hearted kids and they, they're God-centered. So I all the mistakes they're going to make and the off the path and everything else is okay. I just try to keep them from going off the cliff, so to speak, right?

You're awesome. I love you. I'll let you go. Thank you.

Thank you. All right, love you. I love—

wow, you're beautiful.

You too.

Thank you.