Candid Conversation with host Adrienne Barker, MAS

house. And yeah, so, so that many years. And we met when I was in Celebration.

Yes, when we were doing leads group when I was at, um, Atlanta Bread Company.

Yes. Oh, Hunter's Creek.

Yeah, that many years ago.

Oh my God, I totally forgot about that.

Millions of years ago.

You know, that was kind of a— that was a really cool place. That was a cool bakery.

It was, it was great. I miss it. I miss it a lot.

It was like, I don't know why they really ended up— was that, was that because of the owners? Because the whole concept was really brilliant.

Well, it was the owners of the building. It wasn't even the owners of Atlanta Bread. It was the owners of the actual strip mall that decided they wanted to put a bar at the end. And then the bar has closed and changed names 4 times.

Oh, that's ridiculous. And then I also—

a Boston Market Boston Market. Um, hey, Barker Specialty when I was helping you out too in all those trade shows and everything. Um, yeah, we've been through lots.

You know what I really remember? What I love— I love the memory that we were doing that ice cream social and you— and so you come in and then you walk by and you look at me and you go, where's the— did you order water? And I was like, oh my God, no, I did not order water. Remember that you had to go out and get water?

I did. It was, um That was when I finally started taking over events there. I think my favorite one was the Christmas party though, when we did the Christmas in the office and I got to paint all the windows. Yes, that winter summerland, and we did the whole entire theme through it. That was my favorite one we did, um, besides the colors. Colors we did, that one was brilliant.

Oh, doing the trip together. I was just telling, I was just telling Jeff how we rode the bus together and we did, so we know what it's like to be an industry warrior And oh yeah, there's a nice young— nice man, Damon, Damon, who is now engaged to Charity, who works for Peerless Umbrella. So very sweet. And then remember the young kid that was like found in the— he lost his keys and he was running around the hotel in his boxer shorts?

We definitely did have those adventures for when we were on the road for those couple weeks, but it was so cold. It was so cold up north.

Deb, I want to ask you a question. I've never really had a chance. I'm so sorry about your mom, and she was— your mom was everything in the industry. But what was it like growing up as a, as younger with what your mom did? What was your perception of your mom's like work and career?

Well, honestly, my mom was an admin. She was an admin for most of my life. She took on the event world when she started working for Bridgestone Tires. So she was an admin for the president and he was in charge of doing the events like the Toyota Grand Prix and the Long Beach Grand Prix and the VIP tent. So she kind of taught herself how to do it. Honestly, it all came back to Jewish holidays. Yeah, yeah. That's how it all started. Doing the Jewish holidays at my house was always big. It was always really big. So Mom did all of it. So that's where you learned how to set the table. And courses and how to prepare and start with a grocery list. And just from the basics. And here's the funny— so my sister and I were going through some of mom's belongings and we found some of her grocery list from the holidays in her. She kept everything in a folder year to year to make sure she kept it organized. And so I have like her list. It was— they're amazing. They're amazing. But she still ran Excel spreadsheets. She still did it the old way. So it was really cool. Um, mom being in the industry— now I moved in with my dad when I was 13, so being in the event world and her also being in the event world was kind of just how it happened. So being in the industry together was lots of fun, and I was always the opposite side. So most of the time I was a supplier because I worked for the hotels and the restaurants, and she was the planner. So I learned different avenues, but when she used to write She would read it to me and then I take it from a different perspective, right? So there was a lot of times she did the pros and cons and she'd do supplier planner. And so I got to do the supplier side. But there was quite a few times that we used to teach together. We did MPI Institute, we did MPI in South Florida, and we didn't tell anybody that she was my mom until the very end. So the best line I think we ever did was they had We were on a panel in South Florida, and it was— I was as the catering, and then they started talking about how she knew the people on the panel, and it came down to me, and I go, I met her when I was younger. I met her 40 years ago, and everybody kind of looked at me, and I go, yeah, she's my mom. But like, my mom was like barely 5 foot, so unless you knew that she was my powerhouse Yeah, so was it your mom?

I remember when we did a show and you said to me, you said, Adrian, there's no door that you can't go through.

Exactly. Back of the house is you just walk. You walk into— you find the person you're looking for or the prop you're looking for to make the other better. Because if they don't— if they're not in the room fast enough, we're there. We're in the back.

You are amazing. You said that. I still, I still, um, I saw Sam. So Sam works over at the, at the Daytona CVB, right? He's gonna go on with me. So when I go to the chamber, he's downstairs in the chamber, so I'll go in and say hello to him. But we were talking the other, like, a couple of weeks ago, and I had to remind him about the bagels. Remember the moldy bagels at that Hilton hotel?

Oh God, that was horrible. And the leaky everything, and, uh, That was the worst one we ever did. Oh, I think that wasn't the one that I planned. Oh yeah, that's right.

I can plan that one. Well, yeah, that's, that's what we really, that's what I realized. So with you, I really realized that, that you don't play around. If you want to do something right, you hire an expert. So tell us about Party Planners Network, because I think what you've done is just unbelievable. It's amazing.

Thank you. Party Planners Network, or what I call PPN, is a group of networking professionals. So basically it was started by me and Julie DiStefano Walker when we're both working in Winter Park, we're both in catering sales. And what we realized is people kept calling to all the different restaurants to see if they were booked. It would be easier if we would just send out leads, right? So if somebody calls me, a pharmaceutical rep calls me and I'm already booked, wouldn't it be easier if I just help them find a place to go? So we started in Winter Park and we started creating this group of people and, and it kind of worked. And then it started growing. It was 4 of us in a booth and October will be our 6th year and I have 125 members. Usually lunches when we have lunches are about 50 to 60 people come to lunch. Julie has since moved to Nashville, so she's kind of broken away from the chapter, so it's mine. But it's not, um, you know, the dues are low, the lunch requirements, the dollar amounts low. I don't make any money at it. I do it to connect people. We have over 1,000 people on our Facebook group page. I have a Facebook group for members. People post stuff. I really think that people enjoy it, but there's also two sides to it. So it's all to help people better themselves as not only professionals but as individuals. So this year I kicked off PPN 2.0, so the new decade. So the, the whole slogan is Give, Get, Grow PPN 2.0. Yeah, I learned how to do slogans. I wonder where I learned that, Adrienne.

You're incredible.

Thanks. So We cultivated this whole idea of we have the give aspect. So I always have a 501(c)(3) or a charity that I give back to. So we picked, I picked 4 for this year. So 1 every quarter. During that time they get to stand up, they get to talk and say who they are and how they feel and then, and how we can help them. So every month, last year I did 1 a month. and it was really hard to get to know the charity and how we can really help them as an organization. So now they have 3 months to present, and they usually— I try to base it upon their quarter is when they have a very large event that they really need help, so that they're very close with the people right then. And then the, the get is really about getting something for yourself, finding some inner peace. So I'm very fortunate that I know Talia from Progressive Transformation. She's a very good friend of mine. I've known her since she was in college, since she went to Rosen. She's an event professional who turned into a wellness coach. So with her, I have her do a segment every month.

Oh, that's interesting.

And so she does then eventually, eventually post it to the PPN Facebook page. So she tries to help every 2 weeks. She tries to give a little bit more insight. She has one that came out just about how to deal with all the stress of being at home now and what does that look like and finding your inner peace and still trying to make time for yourself. So like this last month, her— so April's topic was to start your day on a positive note. So even if you take those 2 minutes when you get out of bed to yourself, think about something that makes you happy, something that makes you feel good, and that's how you should start your day. So it really helps, especially with everybody going, oh my gosh, I have to stay at home again. I'm very fortunate that I still get to go to work every day. But also then we got into the grow aspect, and this is where you grow your network. This is where you grow your knowledge. This is your business side. I usually teach some of this. Shannon Taryn teaches some of it, but I really take everything that I've learned from different webinars, different podcasts, and different networking events that I have been to, to give back. And it's— they're short segments, so everything's like 5 minutes. So the difference between PPN and a lot of the other networking groups is I run an agenda. I am— I still run an agenda every week or every month so that people really know what's next. I allow for plenty of time for networking, but I also allow for people— everybody gets to introduce themselves. So everybody gets to stand up and say who they are. They get to do their 30-second elevator. And if they're working on a project, at the end, they get to talk about their project, their 501(c)(3), their giveback, something community-related, so that everybody's very involved.

I just— so I got to go to the one at the Hard Rock, which was really wonderful. And the whole thing was really great. Do you think— so now what are you going to do? Like, first of all, what is life like Fleming's Prime Steakhouse. Yeah, what is life like in Fleming's Steakhouse? And then what are their plans for opening? And then, and so it's all curbside, like what do you do?

It's all curbside. So I have changed from being sales to being operations. I am out there delivering the food to the guests, which is really kind of fun for me because I don't ever get to see them. Working 8 to 5 or 8 to 4, we don't open till 5 usually. So I don't usually get to see our guests on a one-to-one basis. So I really enjoy that part. I've learned how to use the POS system. I now know my point of sale system the back of my hand, professional. I've been there 7 years, so it took me a long time. And then I, you know, the prep aspect, I'm pretty much doing a lot of different hats, but I love it. I still get— but I work 12 to 8, so my hours are a little wonky for me, but we've made it work.

Wait, wait, wait, are you— you mean you're prepping in the kitchen too?

Yeah, but it's not like prepping prepping. I'm not cooking, I'm cutting.

Oh, that's so— oh, that's— I would— I cut— I'm like horrible. They'd have like chunks like this. Oh wow.

I've gotten really good at it. I've kind of, you know, you put your gloves on, your mask on, you— my hair's in a ponytail, and you just go for it. You learn how to change that philosophy. I've always been in the kitchen though. I mean, I have always cooked because my mom always— we always cooked, so that part wasn't so far off. But now doing it in bulk, it's a different story.

Is it— what is the— who, like, who is the average client that would be coming during the time? Is it someone that wants, like, on a Friday night wants to have a special delicious steak and a dinner, or do you have clients that just come all the time, they just love it so much they're willing to spend the money to, to enjoy a nice meal?

We have everything.

We're—

well, when Fleming's Winter Park is located in Winter Park, in the heart of it, so we have guests around us that usually just to dinner, right? So they're saying, okay, then if we come to dinner every Tuesday night for Tomahawk Tuesday, we're just going to get it to go. And it's the same. We try to make it look the same as it does in the restaurant, but they put it on their own plates. That's the only big thing. The food quality is still there. The way it's packaged, it's still the way you want it. It's still— if you don't— if you want a salad with no onions, fine, we'll make it with no onions. Everything's still made fresh. So it's the same, we try to fulfill that same desire. During the day, it's a lot of burgers. People want burgers for lunch, we have the best.

And you are lucky to go to work. That is very true that you, you know, the ability to leave. I was just doing our leadership Daytona call and a lot of people were, you know, that struggle of not being able to leave the house. I've worked from the home for a few years, so I'm used to it myself. I'm afraid I'm going to get too used to it, to be honest with you. And then I have to just say, when you said about the positive, I've been making a mistake every morning. I've been waking up and listening to the news. And you know what? It has actually affected my days. I— and this morning I did the same thing. I need to— tomorrow I'm not going to do that because it does.

It changes who you are. So— but I'm really fortunate. You know, you know, Hannah, I have this adorable 16-year-old who, you know, makes it all better. Right. So you have to think about that aspect of it, you know. Honestly, I'm probably the most out of the news person you know. I don't watch it, I don't listen to it. I read it when it comes to what it needs to be. A lot of stuff about industry, I'll read it online, but I'm not gonna sit and listen to it. I'm really not. There's nothing positive in there that's gonna help my day. They're gonna talk about, you know, right now they're gonna talk about, of course, the virus and that we're not opening and how much money we're not making. Well, I'm on a different avenue. I am very thankful that I still have a job. That I still get to go to work every day and that even though we're not at the same level of dollars and cents, we're still making it. We're still doing well enough that Blooming Brands, which is our parent company, has not laid off or furloughed anyone yet.

Whoa, what other restaurants do they have?

They have Carrabba's, Outback, and Bonefish. We have 90,000 employees and they have gotten paid for the last 4 weeks. So our, our CEO, they're really, really trying the best to make it where they keep everybody. Now our servers aren't working in our kitchen team. There's 8 of us that are actually working every day, but they're being compensated so that they can still make ends meet. The benefits aren't going away, the stuff like that. So they're still— and we do family meal once a week, so our servers can come in and pick up 2 meals every week from the restaurant.

Wait, really? That's awesome.

They're usually on Sundays or Mondays, and we have a certain meal, and we— the chef prepares it just like we prepare everything, and we have family meal because, you know, at restaurants we all eat together usually. So this allows them to make sure that they still have family meal with us, and they come and pick it up.

That is beautiful. Oh wow, that is— thank you. That's like really interesting to know. I've been to Carrabba's a few times here because we have a couple of assisted living, like, networking groups that meet at Carrabba's. So it's very, very nice, and they're always flexible about, like, creating a pre-planned, um, you know, like, dinner, lunch meal. So very, very nice. So what are you— so what's going on with, with what's going to happen? What are your thoughts now with Party Planner Networks? I saw you did a Zoom call.

I did. I did a virtual for April, um, it was off a day. I didn't plan it fast enough. So it was kind of off a day from when we usually do it. We usually meet the first Wednesday of the month for lunch, so it's usually 11:30 to 1:30. So we're gonna do virtual for May. I'm very sad because May was supposed to be my big party celebration. It's my birthday month, so we usually do founder celebration and we usually do it as a networker. I was going to change the concept, um, but this morning I was taping Swag and Repeat and Joe Truitt came up with a great idea. I'm gonna do my half birthday, so we're gonna do it in November. Oh, we're gonna do blast party in November. It will be Joe's and Selena's and my birthday month, and then it'll be the 6-year kickoff of PPN.

Wow, I'm so proud of you, Deb. That is incredible. And then doing this all while your daughter is really active in dance, and it was a cheerleading too, or just the dancer dance team?

Dance team. We did competitive dance, uh, through recreational for a couple years, and now she's at Windermere High, so she dances there.

How is she doing with being home?

She's doing really well. I mean, she misses her friends. She's an only child, so she misses her friends. She misses being around people because she's mine, so she's a social bee. But she's doing really well. The classes, you know, she gets it all done. The grades are still there. But she doesn't like being home all day. She just wants to see people.

Oh, did she fall off the skateboard? I didn't know. You said, you said she took a fall and I was like, well, what, like, is she okay?

She's fine. She's fine. She had a bruise at her tush, but she was— or on her hip, but she was fine. She was learning how to skateboard. She was trying really hard. My boyfriend's two boys were trying to teach her how to do a longboard. She got up, she went about 10 feet, and she went down. But she was good.

Her boyfriend or your boyfriend?

My boyfriend. Long story. We got to catch up.

We have to catch up off the whole thing. Oh, Mama's all confused now.

That's my job, is confuse you as much as possible.

Oh my God, that's so funny. You know what, that's okay. Life, life gives us all, uh, all changes and things that are going on. And so it just, you know, it is what it is. You look adorable though. I really— I was saying earlier that, um, Stacy Fowler, who's also Jewish out of Tucson, Arizona, created the Tucson Business Networking. And this day and age when like there are the MPIs or the NACEs and all these different groups I love that you saw that there was a need for the Party Planners Network and coming up with a way that someone that just has to make one call. So I think you're so brilliant, and 6 years. I love that Steve is in the group. And do you think you'll be coming back to Daytona Beach? Like, are we too far away? What is your area?

We really cover all of Central Florida. We'll come back to Daytona soon. We'll try to do one a year out that far. And then I do— I'll probably do one at Ocoee Lakeshore Center next year just because they revamped— they reopened because they added a whole new extension.

What?

Ocoee Lakeshore Center. It's right in downtown Ocoee on the water. It's beautiful. That's where Hannah had her bat mitzvah.

Oh, so Ocoee is— where exactly is Ocoee?

It's on the other side of Winter Garden. So it's close to me on this side, on the east.

Oh, I really— oh, I don't— you know what, it's so crazy. I don't even— I don't know if I've ever been to Ocoee now that I think about it.

Well, you should go. Now we're going to have a reason for you to go to Ocoee. And then I try to stay, you know, I try to go north, south, north, south. So I try to keep it where we go, Winter Park, and then somewhere on the drive, just because we get a very different group of people depending on where I'm able to host it. I'm very fortunate that a lot of the hotels and the restaurants want to host it. They really want the people to experience it, but I have to find a space that's big enough for 70.

So, right, you're right. That is— you're— that— my mom, my mom really, really loved you.

She—

I remember the show that we did at the Gulfstream. That was really something else. But she really enjoyed— and my dad too, but he would be like, where's the curly-haired girl? Where's that curly-haired girl?

I loved him. I just loved your parents, and I loved spending time with them and learning. And I'd love to listen to Herb sit there and talk about his toys, especially when the boxes came in at the house. Oh, and when we used to go to the beach and just— that was my— to go to their place was like the best ever. You and I had so much fun. We were up for hours, and then your dad would get the toy delivery, and that was the best part of the day because you never knew what was in those 25 boxes that just got delivered that he bought from an auction. That he didn't even know it was in it.

He was like a kid. He really did become a kid.

He did. They were all across the kitchen table, and he could give me history about that Superman lunchbox and tell me when he remembers seeing it. It was great. And then when you took me home, you took me to Connecticut, and I got to see the museum, and I got to go around and spend time at Barker and learn about all the production side of it and, and get to meet the whole family. Uh, those were like the best times.

I know, that's why I get— I'm teary-eyed just looking at you because we do share a lot and I love you and I love that we did so much and that we were on the bus together.

And, uh, it was that love-hate sister relationship that we wanted to kill each other by the time it was over and giggle at the same time.

Oh my God. Well, I just remember, I just remember because people were, you know, they get so sick with these Suppliers are all in close quarters. And actually, I didn't make it to Las Vegas PPAI because I went to Tallahassee. I wanted to meet all of our legislators in Tallahassee, but they were actually— Steve Wozniak, I get his name all messed up, from Apple, he's saying that he was— he had COVID-19. A lot of people were very sick after PPAI, but they usually are because they're so close. So remember someone had like something with their stomach? At when we were on the trip, that they— we thought it was something from the restaurant. We trying to track it down. That, that's always a problem though, right? When you have someone that feels that maybe they got food poisoning at a, um, like at an event.

Oh yeah, it happened. I mean, I worked for Disney for a while, and you think— people think about it, and, and usually it's something that they did before or after, or something they took, a vitamin or something that made it very, very— because of all the laws, everybody's really careful. Um, there's very few cases you hear of food poisoning in Orlando. I mean, because it would go viral. Think about it now with social media, with Yelp and everything. If something happens to somebody, it will go viral and that restaurant will be closed. I mean, it's just that fast. So I really think that people are more careful. Don't get me wrong, people call. Like, when we were at Disney, they'd call and say it. But most of the time, like I said, it's something they did before us, after us, a vitamin they took that made them ill, something on that avenue.

So are you still planning besides Fleming's? Are you still planning an event? If, if I said, oh, I want to have— Alana is going to get bat mitzvah. Is that something? Do you still planning things?

Are you still— I still, I still, I'm doing a bat mitzvah that's being redone because it was supposed to be in March. So I'll— my friend Jason Gable's daughter is getting bat mitzvah. So I'll do that. A friend of mine is getting married in January. So I still do that. I still work on them, but I still work on galas. I still do a lot of the fundraising and the 501(c)(3)s with galas. So I sit on— I chair the Crohn's and Colitis Gala.

So, by the way, does someone you know— because usually you have a reason—

is it—

do you have anyone that you know that has Crohn's disease? No.

Fleming's used to do their cocktail So they've transitioned from a cocktail reception to a gala. And I got to know Lane and Laura, and I love the executive director and the business development. And they asked me, hey, will you help us change this into a gala? So last year we did it at Bay Hill, which was our first sit-down dinner, and we were extremely successful. We sold out and we raised more than we thought. We could raise. So this year we are at the Rosen Center in November, and we're gonna try it again.

My dad had colitis, so, you know, remember he had the ileostomy, the bag from the colitis, and he, uh, and he had that surgery. I mean, really, my dad was pretty strong. Towards the end, it was, it was, it was giving him so much problems. It was consistently his stoma, it was just consistently breaking. I mean, It was really hard to see, and it would burn, you know. The, the— so a poor guy, and oh my gosh, it would be— it wouldn't be surprising if it was 4 or 5 times in a day where sometimes he could— yeah, it was really— at the end was— he never complained though. My mom never complained too. Like, it was like, you know, neither one of my parents ever complained.

My mom, brain cancer, you know, but she never complained. All the way to the very end. My dad had FPS, which is a form of dementia, and never complained, never complained to the very end. I never heard— now, Dad lost his motor function. Both my parents lost their motor functions quickly in their illness. That was the first thing that went, which was very frustrating to both of them because they were both so independent. But I had amazing— I have amazing stepparents that were able to care for my parents with me not being there. So beautiful.

Was your mom— I'm sorry to bring this up— was your mom on a trial? And was she on a trial and then you found out at the end that it was the placebo?

It was, but, um, she was on a trial and we did— she was out in California, so UC Irvine. Um, Dr. Boba was an amazing, amazing researcher and she was the head of the trauma, um, the brain. Let's see, she was a brain oncologist who was younger than me, and she was the best in the field. And they had a trial, and the way the trial worked is the trial was supposed to help the, the chemo not elongate but change the effects of it. So it wasn't that it was going to change what it was, even when we knew that she was at the very end when she was only getting the placebo and we took her out of it, it wasn't going to change. But the tumor did reduce by 50% when she was doing the chemo drug. So what happened was it was just so aggressive that even after they did the craniotomy the second time, she never recouped. The brain, the fluid just wouldn't keep up. So I was there for that. And then, um, And then the brain swelling caused the motor skills to go away. And she never really got all of that back. So from October to May, so it was a very short, a short time, but she wasn't suffering. She wasn't in any pain. So that was the biggest blessing. And like I said, my stepdad Richard took great care of her and put her in facilities that were very taken care of and clean. And she was in a rehab house. So she was only one of 6 patients.

Wow.

So it was very personal to the point of when Hannah and I went to go see her, Hannah, we pulled up the rug in the living room and she got to show Granny her tap routine. She brought her tap shoes. She did a whole show for all the patients just sitting there.

Did your mom smile? Your mom must have been smiling.

She did. She still had those expressions.

You, you and Brenda did a beautiful job keeping everyone informed too. I thought that what you're— you were brilliant having the page and then both of you going on and sharing. It's not easy when you lose your parents, that's for sure. And it's, uh, no matter what age you are at and no matter what, but I know you talk to your mom because I'm talking to my mom all the time and I get parking spaces. Uh, first of all, it's really weird, like a lot of night, I— right, it's the weirdest thing. I'll be like, oh, do we— let's just ask Mom, can I get a parking space?

We go around the corner that we just drove by 3 minutes ago, right up front. My mom always had PP, she had priority parking all the time, so she would park right in the front. And so yeah, I always tell Hannah, can you ask please? So mom is a big part. It'll be 2 years May 12th, be 2 years May 12th, and we miss her every day. Little things, you know what I miss? I miss showing her, like showing her pictures of Hannah. Now that you see all these amazing— that's what I miss. I miss having her watch, but I know that she's here and I have to tell you. So off the beaten path, we're talking about my boyfriend and I swear to you he was sent to me from my mother. He bakes cakes. He's creative. He's a chef. He's just that person that my mother would have wanted me to be with. So it's just—

he's a gastrosexual.

He's amazing. Well, and he actually came to work at Fleming's after my dad died. So I think that both my parents were standing up there going, okay, you need this. So I now have a kind of a balance in my life that I've probably never really had. So it's a good thing.

Sent by your mom. I will say that one. And after my mom passed, Alana was doing a dance downstairs in the condo over by the ocean, and there was an orb. That. And it was kind of scary because I saw the orb while I was like videotaping her, and I didn't know what to say, so I just finished it. And then afterwards, and we got chills, and it was like— it just felt like my mom was like right there. And I love you, Deb. I thank you for coming on and doing it. You do the same though. Show off your friends. You've got friends. Do this. Do a candid conversation. Use whatever format you want and let us get to know, because we're all so like-minded. And all your friends are in a really cool industry of meeting planners and suppliers. So I'm giving you the challenge now, you do a show off your friends, please.

All right, well, and my friends go all the way back to North Carolina. I'm still friends with all my friends from 8th grade.

That's even fun too, because then we can kind of hear what's going on in North Carolina. Do it, just start writing to them and set up a little calendar thing and, and do it. You look beautiful too, by the way. You just look— hey, I love you.

I just— I love you too.

There's just something you'll always have. Like, I— there's just— I'll never forget every— I really, every minute I remember. All right, have a great rest of the day. I'm gonna take the advice of the first 2 minutes, so thank you for that too.

Absolutely.

Have a great rest of the day.

You too.

You're beautiful. Bye. Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you.