Guest Jay Sooknanan, Health and Wellness Coach - Body, Mind and Soul

We're live. Am I smiling? Yes, I'm smiling because I'm excited. Right from Queens, New York is Mr. Jay Suknanen. I said it right?

Yeah, you did a great job. Beautiful.

Hi. So I'm so glad that you, um, touched base with me, and I love your industry and want to learn more about how you started and your why and how someone like me who has no control will eat anything that's put in front of me. And honestly, I'm getting chunkier by the minute. Jay, I like to say I'm in my favorite shape of all— round. Not a good shape to be. So Jay, tell us, tell us about yourself, how you started in the business.

Okay, yeah, I'll get into it. Uh, so I'm in Queens, New York now, but I'm originally from Brooklyn, so of Brooklyn, right? Brooklyn and a half. Um, no, but how I got started was I actually wanted to be a doctor when I was a little kid, uh, because I wanted to help the world and I wanted to, you know, serve my family. And I saw it as a noble profession to help people, right? And so I went down that path. Uh, I had messed up in high school, went, you know, down the wrong path in between 15 to 17, woke up and then I got back on that path because this lady, she told me, Jay, why don't you challenge yourself? I was going to go to school for hospitality management because that's what they put me in high school for. And then I realized, um, when I was going, the program was closed. And this lady said, Jay, you don't need a degree to become a hotel manager. Why don't you challenge yourself? So I took chemistry as my major because it was the only Regents I failed in high school. And on that path, this lady, I was in organic chemistry and she enlightened me. She's like, "Jay, you know you're taking all the classes to be a doctor?" I was like, "What?" I didn't know that. I was headed towards being a pharmacist because that's what chemistry guides you to. I'm like, "Okay, awesome." I got super excited. The light filled back up inside of me. I was just happy that I could achieve what I originally wanted to. Then she also said, "Jay, you ever heard about meditation?" and stuff like that. And she gave me a book by Dr. Wayne Dyer. God rest his soul, he's passed away. But he's actually what put me on to meditation. His book, Getting in the Gap, it was a simple read and it really got me in my gap, right? And I meditated since. And from there, life just got more organized and I was able to heal my past, right? In my mind. 'Cause this is the way it needs the most healing. So I had to forgive other people, forgive myself. And then from there, I was able to like look at my future more clearly and get pigeonholed or laser focused on that and went through that journey. And when I'm going through that journey, now I'm studying biochemistry at one point in Hunter College and I'm about to graduate. And my friend, he became a life coach and he said, hey Jay, You know, can I try this on you? One of my good friends. And he said, what's your purpose in life? And so I answered it, but I was going to be a doctor, so I kept it moving. And as being going towards medical school, I was an EMT working on the ambulance, lights and sirens, felt like a superhero, right? And then I have on a uniform, I work out. It was a good time going down that path. And I realized You know, I didn't want to do what doctors did. They weren't able to serve the patient the way I would want to serve them. All right. They have great hearts, good people, but the system is not set up for them to actually serve people the way they would even want to serve people. So I was like, I don't want to be a doctor. And also in that last semester of college, I also got connected with a monk. And I started working with a monk for about 4 years, right? Yeah, it was pretty cool. And, um, so I worked with her for 4 years. She's a beautiful lady. And one thing she said that really made me connect with her, because she's like a 60-year-old woman, bald head, you know, very jovial. And she—

oh my God, I didn't even know there were female monks, so I'm like totally absorbing this. Sorry.

Yeah, no, amazing. And no, it was so cool. And she said, so she had to, she was part of the CUNY system, so I didn't think she needed ID. She said she didn't. So I had to take her another route, right? It wasn't like, it's technically not right, but you know, people do it. And she said, if you take me, I'm game. Imagine a 60-year-old woman saying she's game. I'm like, okay, you know, all right, let's go. We just connected from that one statement. And then I realized meditation and how I heal people. One time I was in the ambulance and this lady's panicking, 180 systolic pressure. I held her hands and we talked and I calmed her down and she breathed. And in 5 minutes we're at the hospital, she was 120.

Wow. So this is really kind of like mind over matter.

Yeah. Even the whole eating thing and stuff like you're talking about, like everybody goes through it. I was really big. If you look at one of my pictures, I was a very chubby kid. And it's because our mind is overwhelmed and we're always doing so many things and maybe serving other people and giving our life away, right? And not saying anything is wrong with that because I'm here to serve. That's why I'm on this planet, is to serve other people. Oh, but I realized I had to come and calm down here because if this is overwhelmed, then I can't really create the change I want. And then I get anxious That leads to anxiety, depression for people, and they don't move forward because their mind is so overwhelmed. So they're hitting snooze, they're going back to sleep because they're just exhausted here. Then they think they're doing a lot, but they're not doing much.

But so the— like the— I said we won't talk politics, so we won't, but just the political climate, the social media, all of that, does that— is that part of like clouding the mind?

Well, for younger generation, for sure. And that's why they have more suicide rates and everything like that, because they, they think kids have it easier because we, we have everything, right? As this generation, we just have everything access to us. But the problem is we have everything, and at the same time, and it's so much information that our mind can't process it. And we could scroll through so much information within a matter of a few seconds that it would take people hours to go through, you know, before. And we're flooding our mind with it so that our mind is still processing it, even if we're sitting down, you know, even if we're not doing this right, like we're, we're just watching TV and all that information comes in. I don't even have a TV, by the way. Uh, really? Yeah, we actually— I got a brand new Samsung TV and I gave it away. Um, somebody gave it to us and I didn't want it. Um, but after watching the show, right, we think, oh, it helped us calm down and chill. But now you're washing the dishes or you're doing something else in your daily life and that show is still being processed in your mind, you know, it's still being uploaded. And that's why people are so overwhelmed with their thoughts, that then that leads to that overwhelmed feeling. And then you start self-judging, lack of confidence, all those things. And then you're not doing the things you truly want to do. You know how many people want to work out and eat right, but their mind is so overwhelmed that they can't? Because we know what to do, right? Most people know exactly what they need to do, but we don't listen to our intuition because we don't take care of our mind.

Right, interesting. That is interesting. I, I don't know, I need to myself— I don't— so, so you don't necessarily— as I'm washing the dishes, I wouldn't say, uh-oh, my mind is being overwhelmed, but in reality it is. That's really interesting. And okay, so, so, all right, so the next step, obviously the obvious questions are— because I love meditating, by the way, But trying to figure out what to use for meditation. Sometimes I'll type in meditate for abundance, and then I feel guilty that, like, of course I want something with my meditation or meditation for pain relief. So what do you recommend we do? What are the next steps?

Well, creating a routine. In my first book, I actually talk about some ways to actually build that. It's called Abundance: A Journey from Anxiety and Depression. So what it talks about in the first few chapters is that we all face the same things, right? We all face anxiety and depression, and depression comes in if you don't face anxiety. Like if you hesitate to do something and you don't do it, that's when anxiety builds up even more. And then we get stuck into our comfort zone and we don't be outgoing like you are. To throw this show on and be on this podcast, you're actually being very outgoing and you're serving the world in a great way. All right, so I thank you for that.

Thank you.

For sure. And so that's what happens to people though. They don't do what you're doing and then they get stuck in their own hole, their own comfort zone, and then they— their self-confidence goes down, self-doubt raises up, right? Like all these things happen. So that's what leads to the depression because it's extended periods of time of this feeling. And then I talk about meditative practices. So you say you like to meditate. For me, I also talk about routines and all those things, but to me, the biggest thing, like you said, you asked me what's my purpose, right? And if you don't have purpose, you don't have direction, and anything could overtake you, right?

Yeah. So this is amazing. I, I really— so really, besides getting the book and reading it, are there videos, or do you have references in your book on, on how you would like— because meditating is a practice too. That's an art in itself.

Um, yeah, so if you look up my name on YouTube, if you go into the video section, I have like a whole bunch of, um, videos on like practicing meditation. I did a 30-day series because I speak in schools on this topic, and then COVID happened, and then I wasn't able to go to school, so I didn't know how to serve them because I like serving people in that direction. So I just left a whole bunch free videos with a lot of content and also a little bit of practice for people to slowly, gradually grow in. Like Deepak and Jay Shetty, they were doing 21-day meditation sessions.

That was weird how my thing— oh, so that's interesting. So because most people, what are the complaints that people have? Is it, I can't get my camera to look normal? What is it? Quieting your mind? Is that like the number one issue?

Um, to me, they think they're not quieting their mind when they meditate, and that then they feel like it's not working and they don't do it right. But they actually have to remember that you haven't meditated all their life, most people, and then they're trying to meditate and think they're gonna hit Zen in a second or two. No, that, that takes time. Even I meditate and still— well, I could get into it pretty quickly, but if you haven't You have a lot of baggage. You know, you guys all, we all come with baggage. All the things we didn't face yet and we just try to numb it and focus on something else. If we didn't heal that, you're gonna have to go through that and the noise, the TV, all those shows, you know, people using pornography, Instagram, Facebook, those are already on the surface. So until you quiet that down, then you get back to those thoughts that are really messing with you that you didn't even know were still there. And then you have to heal that. You have to accept it. You have to forgive people. So you have to heal your past, right? Just in your mind. Maybe you have to do a few actions, text somebody or whatever you have to do to move forward. Just love people and respect them and understand we're all human, right? And we're human, right? So we all make mistakes. I don't care who thinks they're perfect. We make mistakes. I'm human. And heal that. Figure out where you're going. So that's where the purpose comes in. And so my purpose, I decided when I was 21 when I wrote it down, but I didn't follow it because I was pigeonholed and laser-focused on being a doctor, was to join the world and work to end suffering, making sure everyone has food, water, shelter, clothing, furthering naturalistic healthcare and education. All right, then I said I want to inspire the young and those who have given up on themselves. And I was going towards that journey, I was hitting goals, but I also realized charity starts at home. I have to create a foundation, and also I want a happy life. And so I chose certain business endeavors that would give me that financial freedom, and it's wholesome, grows me as a person, right? Because I always do things that challenge me to become a better version. Um, so I believe a big thing is growth, and if we're not on a growth mindset, we're on a fixed mindset, we're naturally going to decline. We have to continually grow. Like, you're putting on this podcast, a lot of people are just going to grow from sitting down with us. Right? Your energy, your pizzazz. You're just smiling like, wow, why am I not smiling? You know, like, I should smile. I should be like that. You know, you make me want to smile.

Oh, thank you, thank you. Would you address, um, something that's not actually smileable? I don't know if that's a word, but would you address the, the— how you mentioned the word pornography, how— and for children, how watching pornography, how watching certain shows actually— what it does to the mind, the trauma of the brain Because I think that's really important. People think, am I, you know, oh, I'm just watching this, or, you know, my husband and I are watching this and the child's in the room but they're too young to really understand. And I don't know if people really understand that part of the, the trauma that the brain can possibly see and then affects you for the rest of your life. Or am I totally nuts? Like, am I thinking right?

No. Um, It will be overridden through time, but it's going to overwhelm their mind as well. That's going to affect them. It's going to come into fruition. What your mind focuses on is going to expand. And your mind doesn't know the difference between reality and fantasy. So even if it's something you're watching, this fantasy, this show, this whatever it is, your mind doesn't know if it's true. So now you're living in that fear. You watch a scary movie, now you're in that fear. Your body's going through those same excitements and challenges that you would go through that. So you're actually stressing your body just from watching those things. Don't get me wrong, I like a scary movie. I like to be on my toes sometimes. I don't watch movies that much anymore, but I enjoyed them. I'm not gonna say they weren't enjoyable for me, but they do affect you. And then you're walking around, you're more wary and all these things, you know, and you don't even realize it's happening. Because you built those defenses in your mind because you watch that. And that's actually, you say social media, I don't know if this is politically correct or whatever, but like news and stuff like that. I know back home in Trinidad, I feel the reason my family and the country is so overwhelmed and poverty-stricken and crime-stricken is because everybody's infected with the news. They only put on the negative stuff. So then all of that's overwhelmed, so everybody's scared. Everybody's in a mind of scarcity. And if you're, if you're not in an abundant mindset, which you said that's what you were meditating for, why not meditate for what you want? You know, Helen Keller, a blind, deaf young lady, right, said be grateful for what you have, right? But you could always work for more. Why not want more? If you're a good person, what are you going to do with more? Aren't you going to bless more people? Aren't you going to help more people and serve more people and love more people and love yourself? Because you're one of the people you should love. So if you don't nurture yourself, how are you going to nurture others? Like even buying a Lamborghini car, right? Like people think, oh, that's so, you know, materialistic.

Yeah.

If you're not giving more than you take, yeah, it's materialistic. But if you have such an abundance and it's not that much of a thing for you, you know how much families you're taking care of by buying that car? You know how much people worked on those things that you're taking care of? So like, it's really the mindset on how you look at things.

I love that. First of all, I don't think we should judge what someone drives. I tend to, even as a little girl, I wanted the small picket house with a little fence. Like I, and funny enough, I live a very simple life and I'm happy for that, but I don't judge anyone for whatever they drive. Like I just don't do that. But I would say that during when COVID-19 hit and I was watching the news like everyone else, you know, the month of March and April and May. Yeah, it was. I was not sleeping correctly. I was having like terror, like just like this feeling that would come from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head. Like it felt red and it really was scary. And then I decided to do these candid conversations. There were days where I had 6 or 7 lined up. And I felt so much better. And then somehow over the summer I got busy. I became a contact tracer but never actually got to work. So I made the news because I was a whistleblower. And, uh, and then I've been doing census and as a numerator, which I love. And so that's over now, but I've been able to keep my mind away from that. And then all of a sudden I'm feeling so much better and I'm like, why? And it's because I still, I still read a lot on the phone, but I really have stopped, um, watching just the news in general and keeping myself— I feel, I feel you're 100% right. And then I try to meditate. I also have to share with you that I have, um, something like a little intuition, and it's a, it's a strong one. And also, if I really think of something, sometimes it really will, like, happen. So I don't know why. So I'm really conscious of making sure that I am so grateful. Anything, I'm always like, thank you, thank you, thank you. But I just, I don't know, there's just so much because I really want to just share that it is so important to be healthy in the brain. And I wrote a book because I've had a lot of issues growing up with how I was treated and still being treated by siblings But on the other hand, I've never been in a much stronger place to want to help people and the things I do in life. Like, so I'm a chairwoman of a disaster relief organization, which gives me a lot of pleasure. Or I love business, so I'm the VP of SCORE of Volusia Flagler, but I'm also a certified mentor. And so I think that there's a place there too for doing good things. And I want to hear what you have to say, but I will share with you, my mom, used to say, I wish I had all the money in the world so I could give it all away. And I'm not just saying that when I feel that way, I really do feel that way. I don't have a lot of money, but yet I want to donate and I want to help as many people as I can, even with as little as I have. And part of that has even affected the fact of my selling, because sometimes I tend to want to do all the things that make me feel good, which is working with nonprofits and helping other people, and I'm not monetizing correctly for my own family. So I am guilty of that, but yet it is who I, who I am. So like, see, I'll see how crazy my mind is. It's just, it doesn't settle.

No, that, that's amazing. That's beautiful that you want to be such a giving soul. That's why, you know, you're selling products or whatever you're doing to increase your income. It's awesome. You know, my second book, actually, I didn't put it out yet, but it actually talks about how to heal the planet. You know, and everybody should have a standard of living. Why do we have so much? And as a community, like, what is— hey, I believe in capitalism. I believe in— and because that leads to innovation and growth, right? But then it should have a certain standard. There's welfare and all these things. But why shouldn't everybody have a standard of life? These people are working so hard and they're not getting any benefits. The prices of everything goes up. What is money made for? Like, yeah, I agree, if you work harder, you should reap some different benefits. We can create credit systems or standards for that where people profit, right? I don't care about other people having a little more than others. Uh, my thing is everyone should have a certain standard, right? And also, why are we not working collectively? Like, there's all these nonprofits and charities out there. Why are they not all working together? So the second nonprofit— because I have a business already where I speak in schools, I'm going to change that to a nonprofit and spread it throughout the world and make it a health and wellness center where everyone could connect, even all religions and all things like that. So everybody has a place. Um, but then the other nonprofit that I want to create towards world peace is like vegetation, healing the planet, homes, you know, stuff like that. Uh, 3D printing, if we could do homes with that, clothing, whatever it is. So really, I don't need to be the guy, right? I don't want to be the man. I'd rather sit home with my family and hang out and have a good time. But like Steve Jobs and stuff, they say, you know, hey, create a phone with one button or no buttons. All right, we just have to put out the vision there and there's certain people that are going to make it happen. Already people have the intellect, you know, people know what to do. So we just need to have that vision come out and, you know, work together on making this world a better place. Leaders like John Maxwell, his mantra is to add value to people. Right. And like, why are we not adding value? A lot of leaders let's go with that word, are taking more than they're giving. Right?

Yes, you're right. You're right. I teach servant leadership. And, you know, that, that's really a quality. I will tell you, growing up, I just, in the family business, I was a servant leader. I cared more about how people were happy in their job. Were they happy with their title? Like, everything in my mind was always about how can an employee, how can we make them happy. And it wasn't greeted that way by— and even my parents probably were like, what is wrong with Adrienne? And about a year and a half ago, I came to Daytona Beach to open up my father's fifth art gallery. And I had hired a young man, and he came in, he was kind of cocky with his, uh, with when we were doing the interview with him, he was cocky. And I remember having a conversation with, at the time, a woman who who was my art director, and I said, it is up to us to really help him. I wanna bring him on, he's gonna be fantastic, he's smart as can be, but I know that if you and I work together, we can even really help him for his future. So not only we're gonna put him to work today, but in the future, whatever he wants to do. Let me tell you, she said over the phone, are you crazy? Are you crazy? What? Why would you think that I would ever want to give my time and energy to help someone else? He comes to work, I'll work with him, but I'm not doing anything else. What is wrong with you, Adrian? What is wrong that you are saying that to me and that you think that way? And I, I honestly was like, what is wrong with me? It's like, I just kept thinking, what, what this is like, what is wrong with me? Like, maybe I shouldn't be in business. My mindset is all messed up. And then I started— I have a workshop and I started reading about more about the servant leadership workshop and I was like, oh my God, innately I've always been this personality.

I don't hear you.

Oh, I can't hear you now. Oh no. Oh no. Let me see.

Is it me?

Can you hear me now? Now? Oh, this app.

Ah.

Hold on for one second. Let me—