How can engaging in self-care help combat burnout?

All right. Wow. Talk about technical difficulties. And I only have one thing to blame. It's me. Somehow.

I don't know.

So, Chrissy, hi. Welcome, Chrissy. Tell everyone now. Okay, so full disclosure, I have met Chrissy. We— I was on her podcast. She's absolutely lovely. Wealth of knowledge. So Chrissy's going to introduce herself because I got nothing and no prep needed. I don't have even a paper in front of me. Christie, hi! Tell us about yourself.

Thank you, it's so good to be here. I love your energy, I love spending time with you. I've been looking forward to this ever since we booked it. I— my name is Christie Cordingley, I live in Winnipeg, Canada, which is known for winter more than anything else. And I did have a lovely snowy hike this morning, which was lovely in the snow and in the sunshine, it was beautiful. And I am the managing director of a company called Ignite Purpose Canada, which is a subsidiary of a global company called Ignite Purpose. We do human-centered performance coaching and consulting. And then, I also have a podcast which you mentioned, which is called The Flare Up Show. And I started it a few years ago because I have an autoimmune disease. And I found that by sharing my story and hearing other people's stories about it, it just made me feel less alone and less— it gave me some hope just to be around other people that could sort of relate to what I was going through because it was very isolating at the time. And that has sort of just grown into its own thing now. It's not just about overcoming flares, it's actually about people that have come to me, which is great stories, great experience, just sharing cool things about how they've overcome in life and all the ways that they've leveled up in different ways. So it's, it's been really exciting. So thank you, thank you for participating in it.

You know, I, I, I, it's— I'm gonna say this, I don't, I don't feel like it's misery loves company, but I know when I'm dealing with my kidneys, I like reading about other people. Like, so I'll go on to the Facebook and I'm like, oh, they're dealing with this too. And, and, and no matter how painful I am, I, I'm almost addicted to like other people's stories help me. So I'm not so unusual.

Yeah, it's like normalization, right? And sometimes when we have those really strange aches and pains, or we forget how painful it is because we go out of a flare and then we get into a flare, we're like Oh, does this— is something really wrong this time? And then we read these stories and we're like, oh no, this is all normal again. I, I remember this now. I just sort of forgotten the pain. This is normal. I'm okay. Relax. Which we know stress is not good for autoimmune either.

So yeah, I think that it's really important what you're doing because it, it lends it an arm and a leg and an ear and all of that to those of us that are dealing with the same thing and may have to get up and go to work no matter what the pain is because they don't have an employer that understands. Or maybe they leave their job to work for themselves but don't realize they have clients, right, that still have to work for it. So, yeah, it's really interesting. So this Ignite— so is this a— I don't want to use the word like a franchise, but is it kind of like a franchise? Yeah.

Yeah. You know, it's a really interesting story and it's a very unique company. And the situation that I'm in with them is pretty unique too. It's just one of those stories. So it actually stems from my podcast. So in 2022, I was still working in the corporate world. And I had been working in executive leadership. And I had taken on a new role with a new company. And it had sort of gone really south quickly. And I'd never really experienced that. I've been successful pretty much everywhere I've been. I'm pretty easy to get along with. And I do good work. I know I do. So it was, it was a really unusual company. And I decided to say, you know what, I'm too old for this stuff. Like, I, I'm gonna go find something else. And I took a chance and quit without a backup plan. And I'm a single mom. And at that time, I was really just sort of in my spare time looking for work. I was amping up my podcast, and I met the CEO of Ignite Purpose in Australia, Christina Foxwell, because she talks about love in the workplace and what compassion actually looks like in leadership. And I'm like, it's amazing, come chat. So we chatted, we had a great time, we really connected. And then what happened was, so now I'm out of a job, I'm a single mom, and we do get employment insurance here, so I had a little bit of cushion. But then shortly after I met her— and it's not her fault because it was online, she didn't pass COVID to me— but I got very sick with COVID and because of my autoimmune, I ended up with a brain injury. So And then I was incapacitated for, uh, at least a month. I couldn't walk properly, I couldn't talk, everything was like slurred. Um, I looked like I had late-stage Parkinson's. I was in this sort of state of seizure. It's, it's called serotonin syndrome. So my brain wasn't able to regulate the chemicals in my body, so it was spiking and then crashing. And it's, uh, it's fatal if left untreated. And Um, but it was because of the spikes in the, in the serotonin and the melatonin and that it led to really crippling anxiety and other mental issues as well. So back to Ignite Purpose, sorry, it's a long story, but, um, Christina had kept in touch with me after that podcast. And so she was kind of there to see me go through that and then get back on my feet and still figure out how to make sure my family wasn't homeless during, you know, these times and the different ways that I legally and morally made money in the state that I was. And she— we became good friends, and I just really appreciate her support. And she's like, you know, I've been thinking about expanding. Maybe we can start with Canada. How would you like to join? And so that's sort of where it started. And, um, and I was really keen on it because the reason we connected was her philosophy on leadership and how you treat people. And I'm like, yeah, that's a cause I can get behind. And it just came at a time when I was really looking for something new, so it just fit right in. So that's where we're at.

The angels—

story.

Yeah, I— well, I love the story because you really are, um, highlighting the relationship factor. And so wait, let me make sure I understand this correctly. So You had her on your podcast?

Yes.

That's how you developed the relationship. See, everyone, you should have a podcast. Oh my gosh. Talk to Seth Green from Market Domination. He'll do a great podcast for you because at the end of the day, that's really the reality. So, and then, well, I mean, it helped that she was caring and compassionate and understanding and saw through everything that you're going through, that this, that you would be able to be amazing. So I— wow, all the stars lined up beautifully.

Yeah, it's been, it's been fortunate. And I mean, there's still healing and growth and all those wonderful things, but it's, it's just, it's unbelievable. I, I actually just the other day dug up an old thing that I had written 10 years ago about what my ladder of success would look like. What would it mean to me if I was successful? What are the things that I would need to climb in order to be you know, a whole successful person. And it was really interesting because I hadn't seen it in a decade. I was doing some cleaning and I pulled it out and I'm like, oh my God, I'm successful. Like, I had done all the things. Like, I went right from just being healthy in body and mind, which I am now, to having goals, which I do, to get creative and curious. And I'm doing podcasting and hanging out with cool people like you. Next one was communicating and peer growth. I'm expanding my community to amazing people like you. And then the top one was being influential, so sharing my message. And I'm like, Oh my goodness, like, I, I was in tears because it's been such a ride and there's been so much heartache and hard and challenges and obstacles that I'm like, it didn't matter. Like, and whatever comes my way again, there's just another ladder to climb, that's all, and I can do it.

I love that. Of course, I have to ask the question, what's next?

Yeah, well, actually, it's funny, I've been sitting here looking at my ladder of success and My goals are a little bit different, especially as I approach 50. And I just really—

oh, thank you.

That's because I'm immature. That's funny. My spouse came to Canada as a refugee from the Middle East many years ago. And he always says, even though he's 8 years younger than me, he's like, I'm 41 and my brain is 100. You're 49, and I'm like, and I'm 6, 6 on the inside.

Yes, yes, you're a child. I'm like, I know, it's the best. I'm never gonna go. We're on the playground together, you and I. I love it.

So my ladder of success now is changing a bit because it's sort of like enjoying, like there's a little bit. So I'm thinking about things I want to enjoy. I want to be in nature, so that's one thing that I've been doing every day. Like I said, cold, ice, snow, it doesn't matter. I'm getting outside and I'm finding a tree to go hug. So There's also going to be— I've also put down being very careful about whose advice I allow to affect my emotions. So that's been a big growth because as you get more exposed in your success and you're more out there, you're also prone to catching more opinion and even maybe criticism, right? So really learning not to take that to heart because I'm very sensitive as well. So So those are sort of the next. And I, I do— I am putting out an individual coaching practice in my spare time because I have tons of that. But that will be focused around wholeness. So it'll be for people like me, especially when I was going through those deep dark times, like, what's wrong with me? What am I missing? You're not missing anything, but let's figure out what you need to focus on to just get one step closer to being whole. Yeah, excited. There's lots of cool things going on.

Thank you for the soundbite. I really appreciate that. You made my life easier because what you said was so amazing. I'm like, oh, okay, that's going to go. That's going to be its own little post. Chrissy got me on my own little post. Thank you, Chrissy. No, really, this is amazing. I know that you have to run. Quick question though, for Ignite, is it a membership-based?

No, we actually work with corporate clients. It's the people that come to us are usually they have companies between 50 and 250 employees. They have executive teams that are maybe trying to figure out how to upscale, keep still that professional but personal touch, those, those relationships. We take people through a transformational package where we teach leaders how to grow themselves first. Even if they don't think they need it, they do. We all need to work on ourselves. Then we get to, okay, now that you're evolved, how do you teach your people to evolve to where they want to be? And then third, how do we bring you all together so that you can work like a cohesive team and honor each other's individuality and diversity? So it's, it's really cool. But yeah, so it's not a membership thing. You can follow us. We do lots of cool webinars and things for free that anybody can engage in, and I'm always happy to talk. Uh, but generally clients hire us and we work traditionally that way in the with coaching and consulting and facilitating. And yeah, what's your cutoff?

Would you have to go now?

No, I've got about 10, 15 minutes, so we're good. All right.

Yeah. So who is your— I'm curious, who's your target market? Are they HR vice presidents of companies?

What does that look like? Our main program is executive, so it's executive teams. And that's because And I've experienced this myself and probably you've experienced this yourself. You sort of like all your career, you're like, I can't wait to get to that top boardroom and to get to those meetings. And then you get there and you're like, this is the most dysfunctional meeting I've ever been in. These people are all trying to talk over each other. They all dislike each other. They don't know how to interact. Whatever got them here is not what they're doing now, right? They may be good at leading their own teams, but they're having a real hard time being a team. And when there's that fog at the top, it does miss down to everybody else in the organization. So that's generally who we work with is those. So we look for people that are like, my boardroom's a war room. Okay, we can help you. We can help you bring that back into like— doesn't mean you have to agree or love each other to death, but let's show you how to function, right? And communicate so you can still be cohesive and get a message to your people. And, uh, and then we have another layer that we do work with other managers or HR. We tend to partner when we work with HR. We look for people that are looking to partner. So I always tell HR people, you know, God, yes, you're amazing. You can do it all, but you don't have to do it all. You can be resourceful. You don't have to do all the coaching yourself. You don't have to do all that yourself. You can bring in outside people to help you with that because that's a lot. It's a lot, right, when you start getting into some of those stories. So Yeah, Chrissy.

Okay, I'm sure I'm gonna really get everyone mad at me when I say this, but I find that this was my reality serving on a variety of boards. Nobody— if you want to get mad at me, just send me your hate mail, DM me, and give me your phone number too so I can call you. Okay, so, so here's what I'm gonna say. Men talk a lot. They share way more in a boardroom than their counterparts. They will start with stories and then bang, bang, the gavel hits, the meeting has started. They will then, when they got the floor or the table, they can't stop talking. They don't know how to make a point. Hey, Chrissy, here's what I believe. This is what we should do. What do you all think? It's like 20 minutes of the same thing being repeated 100 times. Now, I love audio rooms. I hear the same thing in audio rooms. They tend to talk over— I feel bad, I've just got to say this— they tend to talk over each other, so they don't allow someone to speak. A lot of egos can tend to be at the table, which really makes it hard. And then you've got someone like me, and everyone thinks, oh, she's such a— she's, you know, so outgoing and extrovert. No. No, when I go in the boardroom, I need rules. So when I do the boardroom, and I've been chair many times, I make sure everyone understands Robert's Rules of Order. I like order. I don't like popcorn style. I don't do well with that. And I know that there's people like me, so I make sure I ask everyone, "Hey, Joe, do you have any thoughts? Hey, Chrissy, do you have any thoughts?" I make sure I touch everyone because there's always gonna be someone who's not comfortable speaking up. So I think that what you're doing is so important because everyone comes together and, you know, it's, it's for a good cause. But I, I, when I get to the point when I feel like, oh, you gotta go to another board meeting, oh, it's all fighting. And now I've lost— so like, why do I want to do it? Like, it's always been like something. Yeah. So what, so what do you do? How is that? I'm like, this is common, right?

Yeah, it's super common. And it's funny because I was in a meeting not too long ago where actually there was an executive and a chairman like literally shouting at each other. And we're like, okay, I think we need a timeout, like recess, let's go. But I think what we try to teach people is not just in the moment, but teach them those skills and to practice those skills everywhere, not just in the boardroom. Because it doesn't make sense to enter the boardroom and now forget all the rules of decorum and conversation. And human dignity. Like, that still applies in that room. We talk about getting, getting really curious about if you find yourself talking a lot and talking over and not allowing space for silence, then you're not allowing time for thinking. Why are you uncomfortable with there being silence, right? That's the thing. That's what I look for. If someone's comfortable with silence, then I know that they're in thought.

Right?

And they're being thoughtful. And they're probably going to respond, not react because they're allowing that pause. We need breaths. We breathe for a reason. The other thing I like to teach executives too, because sometimes they're like, 'Oh, this is like we're just going to sing kumbaya and all this girly, fluffy stuff.' Sometimes we get accused of being a female company and we're not. We do have men on our team as well. But the science— so I'm part of a network called the Neuroplasticians Network. It's a global network for people that like to work with neurodiversity and working with the science behind how the brain works and why we actually communicate the way we do with each other. So I like to explain to them that there's actually a formula. If you want performance, there's a formula that you follow in your conversations. Number 1 is dopamine. People want to feel good. That's when you see them. So when you see someone and you're like, "Hey, good morning," or like you walk into the boardroom like, "Good morning, everybody. It's great to see you. Thank you." Just like you and I, right? We feel good. We're smiling. And that's dopamine. That's a chemical reaction in the brain. So when you recognize someone and you make them feel good, give them a compliment that's genuine, that creates dopamine, which means, hey, I feel kind of good right now. The next step is oxytocin, which is the security feeling. And we can only develop, um, the feeling of trust and security and that safety in order to think clearly and have creativity. If we feel trust, and the way we feel trust and we get oxytocin is when we're allowed to speak and be heard. So, being seen is dopamine. Being heard is oxytocin. And then, the last one is where you do get to talk and that's epinephrine. And that's that little jolt of motivation. So now, when they're happy and they're feeling secure, you now have earned the right to give them a guidance or suggestion which gets them moving towards performance. And that's science. Like, this isn't like girls or boys. Everybody's brain works this way.

So you're doing retreats. So like, I, like, I, like, I picture how important this is and how needed it is. I also, you know where it's really important? I love Lifetime. So I just want to say that I love drama. I'm really happy. Like, it's fun for me to watch a little drama, but if I want to watch the school board and the drama, it's crazy. At one time, it gets to me. And it gets to me right next to Disney World. The board, the school board was— they were crazy. So at one point I called the chair and I said, I said, listen, I, you know, I'm here in Celebration, Florida, and how's your daughter April? And she goes, what do you mean? I go, should I know your daughter's name? Should you be actually in a board mood picking up the phone and talking to your daughter, telling that you're going to meet her outside and then naming the school? I'm like, does that make sense? And then by the way, the other guy who gets— got up took his coat off, barged out of there. And so because I don't have like that much knowledge, I said to her, you should just, you should put a sticky note on everyone's area at the, when they're live and say, we are live. And then give them some like little tips, like don't answer the phone, watch what you say.

Yes.

It's like what we learned in kindergarten, but unfortunately we do have to teach, but I love that you're doing this. And I do want to say, A lot of these meetings that are being held online and people are watching— we're watching you. And a lot of people, you're making— you're embarrassing yourself. You have to stop. And so you have to call Chrissy and get some really good advice. I, I really mean this because I, I love the drama, but like, I'm not thinking to myself, wow, I really want to like, you know, do business with you or work with you. It's, it's just, it's not right. And remember, no matter where you are, give everyone a chance to speak. Understand that not everyone is comfortable. Chrissy, you gave such great information today. I can't wait to do—

you know what's weird?

I can't wait to actually do the show notes because there's so many. It was funny.

I was speaking for a friend yesterday. I was teaching a short class on burnout and preventing burnout and what are the signs of burnout. And when we got on, I'm like, because she's funny, she's very planned and organized, and I tend to be a little more, like you said, present. I have this like it'll be okay to be present and just say what comes up, right? Like, that takes practice, but I, I feel secure, especially with you, in order to do that because you give me dopamine and oxytocin. And, uh, and I said to her when we came on, I, I made her laugh though because she was very like planned, and I said, I can't wait to hear what I have to say today.

Like, I love that.

Have fun and enjoy each other. Like, life is short. And there's— there's something likable in everybody.

You just gotta really— I love that. If you're a positive person, other people— if you're not positive, you're not going to actually say that. But one more thing, one more thing. All right, burnout. What's the opposite of burnout? Like, I'm going on a little cruise, so Monday I will be in the Bahamas somewhere. I'm concerned that I actually miss what I do. I love what I do so much that I'm thinking, what What is it called when it's not burnout, but like burn up? Like, I can't wait. And I already know that.

That's not burnout, because burnout is when you actually stop enjoying the things that you love doing. That's not burnout.

What's the opposite?

Passion. You're passionate, you're enthusiastic, right? What I said yesterday was often when people are at burnout, they ask themselves, like, what am I missing? Why am I not getting anywhere? Why am I not enjoying this anymore? Like, what is wrong with me? And what's actually missing is you. If you are not taking yourself into the equation, you will burn out because you're going to be doing a lot of things that actually aren't for you for whatever other reason, whether it's expectations, whether it's survival, whether it's like pressure from family or societal expectations, right? So really bring yourself. So if you're going on vacation because you're excited and also because that gets you excited to come back to work, That's not burnout. That's, that's engagement. That is— you, Adrienne, are living yourself your best life first, which is what, what is the best.

Thank you. Yeah, I love it. I love you. I could talk to you for a day. You're really good. Where are you in Canada? Where are you in Canada? Are you by Niagara Falls?

I'm in the central, so people sometimes in the States ask if I'm from North Dakota, but I'm not. I'm just above North Dakota, so Okay.

I won't be visiting you for a while. Okay. Come to Daytona Beach.

Where are you again?

Daytona Beach, Florida. Oh, I wish. Yes.

I'll come next January when I decide. I'll be like, I'm going to visit Adrienne.

Yeah. Yeah. We're gonna go visit and we're gonna do board talks around. We're gonna go around because it really is important. And if you're doing a SWAT, you need to ask— add Kristi to your SWAT retreat.

Yes.

It starts with the board. Very— it starts with a chair. And you know what I like? You know what? You know what? All I need to really enjoy a chair is a nice smile.

Yeah.

When they smile and they look like they're enjoying themselves and they're happy, they're comfortable. You know, I love that, that, that, that I'm in all day long. Don't think aerobics. I'm happy too. Oh, that's why I like aerobics with a happy person. Yes.

All right.

Yes. I want you to go. You have to rush. Have a great day. I love you.

I love what you're doing. You're amazing.

Thank you.

Bye-bye, everyone.

Thanks for joining us. Talk about brilliant, bold, and beautiful. That's Chrissy, bold enough to go live without worrying that there's no edits at all. Anytime. I didn't burp. It's all good. All right, have a great day.