Meet Marcy Axelrod

We're live. Okay, so everyone knows I always start by saying that my guests— so to be a guest on this podcast, you have to be brave, right? Because you don't know what I'm gonna do. You have to be bold. You don't have to be beautiful, but Marcy, oh my gosh, and when she smiles, she lights up the whole— and see what a beautiful smile. So I'm going to put you on full steam right here and have it be about you because you are so beautiful. But as I say to everyone, you have to introduce yourself because I have a little teeny idea of who you are. Hi, Marci.

Well, hello, Adrienne. Thank you so much for the opportunity to be here and to speak to all the amazing people out there. In terms of introducing myself, I think the most important thing is that I feel called to help the world understand the truth about showing up. So I'm not going to nounify myself. You know, people ask me what I do, but the thing is, we're not human doings, we're human beings. So I write, I speak, I research how people choose to show up. The most recent book is by that name, How We Choose to Show Up. It's a bestseller. Bestseller. Mel Robbins wrote the quote that's on the COVID Thank you so, so much, Mel. But of course, in addition to those things, you know, like many of you, I parent, I daughter, I friend, I sister, and I try to put, you know, positive, abundant energy out there that we can talk about because that's shaping the world at every moment. So I hope that's a little bit about me. For those of you who want more standard bullet points, you know, started professionally on Wall Street, switched coast to Silicon Valley, spent 20 years as a strategy management consultant with KPMG Consulting, started doing global studies about what it means to truly show up back in 1999, have tons of data about, about that. Um, and yeah, so that is my background, and I think you learned a lot about yourself based on Which aspects of what I said really matter to you?

Oh, oh, I love that. I love that. Okay, so first of all, did I hear you say my daughter, my friend?

My daughter. So I write, I speak, I create art, but also what I do is I daughter. Like, I'm a— my parents are alive, I'm a daughter. Even if they're not alive, I'm still a daughter. So the point is we nounify ourselves in society. I'm an architect, I'm an engineer, I'm an entrepreneur, I'm a painter, you know, I lay bricks. I met someone who's a bricklayer, he lays bricks. But the point is you don't say I am a, right? These are all processes. We are flow systems, just like trees that move water from the earth into the air, right? We are flow systems. Like every, you know, the universe is a flow system. What else could we possibly be? So to say, um, when you say tell people about yourself, right, people often show up with some kind of label. And one of them, the truths about showing up is, is that labeling ourselves disappears everything that we don't mention. Right? So is it more important that I do global research about showing up and write books, or is it, is it more important that I'm trying to shepherd two teenage girls on this planet into people who give and have meaningful lives and model for others choosing at every moment how they show up to the world? Right? Which matters more? Society teaches us to judge. You know, I want to go be friends with the woman who, you know, started her career on Wall Street. Well, that's me too, but— and maybe— and I'd be perfectly happy to help you. However, perhaps what's more important when you meet someone is, you know, what's the most meaningful aspect of you? Is it that you, you parent and you spend a lot of time and effort trying to be the best parent that you can be, right? Versus, well, I get my money from doing, you know, keynote speeches in front of 3,000 people or selling art off a wall. Let's anchor on that art thing for just a minute. A lot of artists— so I create art. I'm not in a space right now where I can show a lot. Actually, I can go downstairs and show some pieces. But a lot of quote artists, which is a noun once again, need to make money, so they want to sell art. And when I am at global shows— so I was just at Art Basel Miami, it's part of the Art Basel Miami whole week in Miami— and to me, what was more important than perhaps exchanging a physical thing for money, it was far more important to me people experienced how they felt in front of these glowingly bright, abundant pieces. And I mean, people just stopped. They'd be walking by and they'd see them. They would just stop. I literally saw jaws drop. It was like the photo place. Everyone took photos. So what's the contribution? Am I there to exchange art for money or am I there to help people have a lived experience in their body that shifts them? And now what we know from research, they're going to be more patient. They're going to be more kind. They're more likely to see the next person in front of them not as a human doing, as an object, But they're more likely to feel what that person feels. Their compassion is going to show up. It might be short-lived. It might last 10 minutes. I'm not sure. I can dive into that research after this, this interview. But that to me is the contribution.

I love this. So when you asked me— now I want to go back. When you said to me, what is it that you do? I did not say to you, oh, I'm a mother. Like, that's my— actually, we have a podcast, My Daughter, My Friend, talking about, you know, our friendship together. We traveled 5 months on a road 2 years ago and traveled around the United States for 5 months. But I— yeah, I didn't. I went right into what I do for work. And thank you so much for bringing that point up to me. That is such a huge point because you are right. I am a mother of 3 boys. And why? Wow. Okay, so let's talk about— thank you. I don't— there's nothing else I could do but just say thank you because that was the greatest lesson I could have all year. Like, the lessons that we have at the end of the year is amazing. So I love that you are Art Basel, or Basel, I should say correctly. But I want to also go back to your book, and congratulations, Mel Robbins. And the book is beautiful.

Here's How We Choose How we choose to show up.

So how do we choose to show up? Because I always think of showing up— I'm not sure if I'm putting it in your frame.

I might be—

Yeah, no, I could see it. Yeah. I always think of showing up— like, I think of reliability and being credible. But how else is showing up a contact sport? Is that even part of that sport? Yes.

So it turns out there's a model for how human beings are designed to show up. I'll show you some of the graphics and I'll send them to you so that you can post them. But I'd also like to quickly share my story about how, you know, why is my calling discovering and documenting the model of how humans are designed to show up? So first, what I'll share is quality levels are inherent in nature. Right? And you might pick up a leaf in the fall and some of them are still perfectly green. Some of them are brown and crispy. Some of them have red, some have yellow, some have orange, some have spots. And you can look at this and we don't inherently say one is good and one is bad. Is the green good and the brown bad? What about the yellow with brown spots? What about the red with dark red spots? Which is good? Which is bad? But the point is there are levels and I put a 1, 2, 3 on behavior. I think I think it's pretty clear. Everyone knows, well, gee, there's kind of a better way to kind of behave and interact with the world. And then there's kind of a less good.

Fine.

So let's call one truly showing up. Let's call this middle one just showing up. You know, that's just kind of, you're busy, you're getting stuff done. It's somewhat meaningless. You're checking boxes. People around you are mostly objects. Your care isn't showing up. That's level 2. It's just showing up. And then there's like when you're really down and out, you're burned out, I call that barely there, right? So level 1 is barely there, level 2 is just showing up, and level 3 is truly showing up. And I can— we can talk, you know, 8 levels deep about what each level is because I describe it spiritually, emotionally, behaviorally, psychologically, economically, financially. I explain what it means. You know, how your relationships show up at each level, how your health shows up at each level, how your bank account shows up at each level, your workout routine, your relationship to alcohol, all of it. So, um, we can get into that and you might ask yourself, well, you know, how do you go from one to the other? Well, you're bouncing along this continuum every moment of every day. And so is everybody else. And so is every brand. And so is every social justice norm. And so is every government. And so is every company. And so is every podcast. You starting to see how big a deal showing up really is? So, um, ultimately, because everyone's moving along the continuum at every moment, showing up ultimately becomes a permission system. You have permission to be exactly who you are in this moment right now. And so does everybody else, right? This, this is a way to let go. You know, Mel Robbins' latest book, right? She wrote the quote that's on the COVID here. Um, her book is Let Them. So let them is incorporated within this, and then it goes so much further. But before I get into the model and how you really move up and down, again, the short answer is that we're not just individualized selves. We're in 3 roles, not 1. I'll talk about that. But what I'd love to do, because I think I've been told time and time again that it's really meaningful how I came to this, to dedicate my life to doing all this research and documenting the model of how humans are designed to show up. So let me just backtrack there if it's okay for just, just to—

definitely.

So when I was 6 years old, my family moved from Baltimore to Boston. And parents were busy with new jobs. Marcy didn't get the attention that she needed. So my genetic predisposition to stutter showed up, it was called upon, I needed help. So this was my body and my, my life's way of saying, I need some attention, you know, like my life just changed. I, you know, my friends are gone, my school is gone, my home is gone, every— right? So I lost the ability to speak at age 6. And the seminal experiences that that led to— picture I'm in kindergarten or first grade, and the teacher asks a question and my hand goes up. The entire class, exhale this collective, ah, the teacher is going to have to call on Marcy. And I felt everyone feeling me and it was sorrow and it was grief and it was stress. And I said to myself, I can't stand this. I can't stand this, but it's beautiful. We are not individuals. We are all individuals. Everyone's feeling me. Everyone's with me in this suffering. So that was one thing. We are not separate. That is a core principle about how the universe works. You take a spoon and you put it into the ocean and you have a spoonful of ocean. And that's what we all are. Is it seemingly separate from the rest of the ocean? Well, sure. But is it all the ocean at every moment? Yes, it is. That's what we are. So that's one of the core aspects of showing up that I learned that day. We are, we are intertwined and interlinked in so many ways. I have a ton of science and neuroscience in the book that explains that. The second thing that I learned is I don't want to be the influence on the world. That's this painful thing that people say, oh my goodness, you wouldn't— maybe it's better if she's not even here. So I said to myself, I'm going to cleave myself off. It's too painful to be me. So I'm going to take my self-lens here. I'm looking at, you know, into my hands as if it's a mirror self-lens. And I'm going to turn my self-lens outward because I can't show up as I choose. I'm going to study how is everyone else showing up. So that's what I did. And I was 6 years old and I became this endless and avid disciple of how everyone and everything is showing up. And what I noticed, you know, out on the blacktop outside of class, the four square, you've got the bully over there slamming everyone out. You've got the scaredy cat who's in line waiting to go into the game, who kind of feels all of life is determined by the outer world. Is the bully going to slam me out in front of everybody? Then there's the teacher over there just trying to enjoy the sun. Not intervening. And I said, I can't stand it. Why are they throwing their show-up choices away? Fast forward 6 more years. Now I'm 12. And I'm sent to a rehabilitation hospital because they have a program for, for children who stutter. Traumatizing, because everyone else there is 70 and 80 years old recovering from strokes. What are they doing? They know how they want to show up. They know they want to be able to take a step, to sit and stand, to feed themselves. They have experts by their sides helping them, and they have these sheets that they were flipping with these, these plans, these best practices about what to do to be able to show up again as you choose. And yet they struggled. So what my then 12-year-old brain interpreted was, huh, even people who know how they want to show up with lifetimes of wisdom behind them, experts by their sides, well-made plans, they're still struggling to show up as they choose. Where's the blueprint? Where's the roadmap, right? Why is it so hard? And that's when I said, this is it. This is, this is what I'm going to spend my life doing. I'm going to do the research. It took, it took another 20, 30 years. My goodness. I really didn't. The research didn't really come together for the book until maybe 5 years ago. So it took another 30 years of research to discover what I felt was the model of how humans are designed to show up. And that's what I'm going to share with you.

Wow.

Okay.

I feel bad. I'm sorry. No, it's your, I just, I'm just fascinated listening to you. This is so interesting. Okay, so the research is there. You learn how to show up. And I guess when I'm thinking of this, I'm thinking, have there been times, Adrian, where I've been someplace but I really haven't been? I'm too absorbed on my phone or too absorbed in my own thoughts that I'm not really paying attention. And I love Seth Green from Market Domination says, be where your foot is, be where your feet are. And I try to remember that. Okay, my feet are here. This is where I need to be. And So this book was— so when did you actually publish a book?

The book came out a year ago in April, and, um, it quickly became a bestseller. So like within about a day or two, like out of the blue, when I go to Amazon to see that it was there, um, it, it was number one in a number of categories. And then within a day, my publisher says, choose which medal you want on the COVID You, I don't know if you can see this. So choose.

Yes, I love it.

I love it. Yeah. So anyway, what I'd love to do it. And then by the way, it won the Hayakawa Book Prize, which was totally awesome. And I routinely do podcasts that have close to a million views, which is great. And I have two TED Talks, which are a very early version of this. But what I'd love to do though, let's anchor on a real definition of showing up. What am I talking about? What is showing up according to the 30 years of research? So showing up is being able to choose which of your 3 roles you're in at each moment and at what level you want to show up. So let me talk about the 3 roles. We already mentioned individualized self. We all feel like we're individualized selves. There's a small version of that. It's ego-driven. It's desire-driven. It's about wanting. It's designed by needing to fulfill accolades of the external world, the stuff you have, the title you have. It is not a authentic way to show up. It's not going to lead to a meaningful life. The best you can do when you're in this small S version of like ego-driven self, the absolute best that you can do is kind of not pass out from living your life on a treadmill. And it's not what you want. You're going to end up seeking solace in all sorts of ways. You're going to end up, you know, with some version of endlessly needing self-care in some way, buying things, needing that next thing. You're just not going to lay in bed and say, I love my life, and it's going to all be about you, not about others. That is not the way you want to live. There's a large S version of self, which is the right one of these three roles. This is, you know, the self that Eastern contemplatives and frankly the root of every religion knows about. This is the other-centered self. Let me get on to the second role. The second role that we're always in is what's going on, Adrienne, right here, right now with you and I. When you look me in the eyes and I look you in the eyes, it turns out that your brainwave and my brainwave start to do this. They start to resonate as a single mind in this between space between you and I. It's called interhemispheric neural synchronization. The situation member self is the one who recognizes that we're reverberating, responding to, giving to, responding to, and giving to everything that's going on right here, right now. It may be in your mind and in your body, there's a large presence because you know that 50 people are here with us live. I don't happen to know that. It's not actually here with me, but it's in you and I'm picking it up from you, your truth of this lived experience. Now it turns out that almost everything that we're doing right now and feeling And the chemistry of our bodies is created by this alive situation. Okay. So let's say cortisol, the stress hormone, ideally that's down. Oxytocin, the one that connects us, the love hormone. Let's hope that's up. The joy of your expression. I'm deeply feeling right now, the affirmation I'm getting from you. It feels good. And did you notice how I reset myself? I just went from presentation mode, which is kind of a level 2, just showing up thing, into a level 3, truly show up thing. I just went up the continuum right there as I moved from a presenter, a speaker, into more of a friend, the kind of co-conspirator with you crafting this moment. So this is your situation member role. It is deeply with and for. And this is where the Show Up lexicon comes in, because often people speak to each other. I don't ever want to speak to. I want to be with. And 4. So once again, it parallels what I said when I was 6. I took my self-lens and I turned it outward. So this is the 2 becoming the with and the 4. This is the individual, 2 of us, becoming a unified whole in all individual. Okay, this is that scoop of ocean that's still the ocean even though maybe it separate. So this is your situation, member, role. That's your second role. Pretty powerful, huh? Right? And when you know it and you read the chapter about what it means, you live it differently. Are you with me? How could you not? This is when the daughter or son who's with you pauses just for a moment. Their body calms and they're looking you in the eye for just that extra moment. They're like, huh. This is when your boss notices, because being in your presence feels different. And this is when they just kind of know, huh, maybe I'm going to give this big new project to Adrienne. This is when the friend says, you know, this was a really meaningful visit. This is when it's your phone that rings, it's your email that has the, hey, we were thinking about this and you came to mind, right? You get the invitation, the opportunity, the opportunity shows up for you when you live more fully in your situation member role. I probably don't need to say it, you probably know, but this is the contact point with reality. This is the mindfulness, et cetera. Okay. But I explain it extremely deeply because I feel that mindfulness can lead you to the gate, but it doesn't step you in. I feel that understanding your situation member role of how you show up or how you could choose to show up is a— I described it in a very deep visceral, visceral lived experience way. Okay, got that? Ready to move on to Role 3? If I were to ask you, what do you think Role 3 is? Most audiences ultimately get there. You've got the self, you've got the situation member. I call it societal member. So this is the connectedness with the everything else, with the something beyond the self. This is the member of a family, a company, a society, a religion, a culture, and ethnicity, a, um, a sports team, uh, you know, maybe you're a fan of the Raiders. This is where you feel deeply interconnected and flowing with a much larger group. It can be, um, people passionate about the oceans or saving the environment or driving their EV, or people who love fashion, people into a certain singer. Like, it is, it is the interconnectedness with the more. And there can be a lot of different groups that are your more. So moving up and down the continuum, what you notice is that as you shift into, into a truly show up mode, which is the green— notice it goes from, from red to green, right? It mimics the colors on the COVID here. What you're ultimately doing is you're deeply presencing in your situation member role. And it can be, it can be working on your spreadsheet as a digital analyst at a media firm, like, right? I mean, it doesn't need to only be when you're looking in, in someone else's eyes, but as you're deeply flowing in the moment of the what is, and you're interconnected with the more, you end up truly showing up. But, but you, you don't really have to approach it with a like, what role am I in? You know, you can approach it with a, how do I want to choose to show up right now? What is my truly show up set of emotions and behaviors and thoughts in the moment? Emotion is the key because everything is relational and emotions always come first. They move faster than thought. They are an embodied experience. It's in the body. The body is the sensing system that connects us with everything. So really the way it flows is emotion and then probably some version of thought and then action, although it can flow emotion, action, thought, but it doesn't matter. They're all there. So I'm going to stop there. So what showing up really means is living in all three of your roles by choice and choosing how you're showing up. Wow.

Okay, that's a lot of information, but I love it. And it's another way of looking at— so who do you recommend? I mean, I know we could say the book is for everyone, but immediately I'm thinking, wow, this is good information for sales professionals that really need to show up and feel like they're focused and listening to you or to their client.

Yeah, as well. I mean, sales, but I mean, Everyone, when you, when you read the book and you really understand what it's saying, because this isn't just how humans show up. This is how the universe shows up. You know, nature's the subtitle here. I don't know if you can see it here.

Oh, we came out nature's playbook for creating a meaningful life and the world we want. Oh, I like that.

Yeah. And that's huge. Why is it that way? Why did the publisher suggest that? Because the truth about showing up is that you're changing the world every moment. Your energy's going out there. This isn't woo-woo mystical stuff, okay? In physics, we understand this. So if one atom over here is doing something, another atom there, and, and some something shifts, another atom far away shifts. We know this to be true, right? Why does a butterfly way over there that flaps its wings create a storm across the planet. We know this to be true. So part of showing up is that you're doing it at every moment. So you're accountable to choose. Why are you accountable to choose? Because you're changing how the world shows up. And I could say how the world shows up for you. But it's so much bigger than you. It's how the world is showing up. Now, this is why abundance mentality work and If you put out there your beliefs about the world, and this is one of the things I really recommend that people do, the very first step, what thing is to take out a piece of paper and write down, what do I really believe about the way the world works? Right? Einstein mentioned this. He said, is it a kind of nasty, cruel universe? Or is it a kind, loving universe? What do you believe? Is it about being competitive? Because there's only one VP spot and if I don't, and I need to get it and this other person can't, the, you know, the boss needs to, you know, favor me on this thing and not the other person. I need to get this sale and take it away from them. Really? Why do you actually believe that? And what life are you telling the world to create for you? What, what, like, if you show up that way to the world, it will show up that way to you, and it will reinforce, yep, what you believe is right because you're creating it. So Einstein's answer about that is that, well, turns out no. It's not a nasty, mean, competitive universe, but it's not a kind and beautiful universe either. It's a self-reflective universe, meaning how you show up to the world is how it's going to show up to you. So think, think about this. You are parking your car and oops, you bump someone else's car. And it turns out the person's just kind of coming out to see their car and they kind of, they saw what just happened. You have a few seconds to process what just happened. What's about to happen? If you live in fear, which by the way, most, most people unfortunately live, live their lives mostly in two, feeling two things. Regret for the past and fear about the future. Let's just play this out. You're in your car, you don't have long. Oh my God, this person is going to be irate. They might even hurt me. I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm just gonna lock my doors and sit here and cower. Okay, another thing is, um, you know 'Some people have bad days. It's not that bad. I'm just gonna get out. It's fine. We'll exchange our contact info, exchange insurance. It's fine.' Right? So then you get out. What, what do you do? Well, first, you— now you've gotten out of the car, you're somewhat neutral. It's okay. You walk up. 'Hey, I'm sorry. My name is, you know, James. Um, we can take take care of this. Doesn't look too bad, you know.

Hope—

hopefully this is kind of the worst thing that happens to us across a given year, right? And the person's like, yeah, yeah, okay, sure, have a good day, thanks, bye, right? Or you've got some options. If you're like me, you get out of the car and you basically say, I guess we were supposed to meet each other. Tell me, tell me about you, because the universe really put us together in an unusual way. And then the person's like looking at me like, who are you? I say, well, I think I'm someone you're supposed to meet, you know. And I've never had a bad reception. I mean, some people are friendlier than others, and some people are like, let me just look at my car. And I mean, okay, but the point is, you see how you're creating how the world shows up for you, right? And there are so many nuances, because someone who feels shame, they're going to show up with shame, and shame is going to get reinforced right back. How could you have done this? You're useless. You're like, of course, right? And you're, you're going to think of feel, you know, of course I did this. I'm the sort of person who has all these issues and I create all these problems. So think about it. Shame. There's shame. Shame is going to have a scene. There's guilt. Guilt is going to have its own scene. Um, there's neutrality. It's going to have its own scene. Uh, there's love. There's givingness. There is contribution. I am a vessel. Like, me personally, this is how I feel. I don't have an ego, or, well, I probably do in born, but I was pretty young when I decided I just was here to observe others and study how we show up. So like, I'm a vessel through which these sets of ideas are getting out into the world. So if you show up like that, what is there to fear? And then you create through joy, through giving, through curiosity. Who you that I'm supposed to meet you? I've never bumped someone's car in a parking lot. How did this actually— how did the world design this whole scenario? Like, what's— you know, you— so I, I hope that— and, and I mean, people inherently know this. I'm not telling anybody what they don't know, but sometimes pulling this out and painting a visceral picture where you— where, like, you can start to envision it it kind of gets— it ends up actually contributing to, huh, what am I choosing to do right now? How would I handle that? And I'm about to walk into a meeting, and how am I choosing to show up? Like, what do I want to create here?

This is great. This is so fascinating for me because, A, You know, we're here on, uh, we're live on a few different platforms, but we're also live on Chatter Social. And thank you, Joseph, for being here. Um, and Joseph and I do the Debate the News True Crime podcast, which is interesting. I, I mean, I absolutely love it. Our algorithms are probably full of true crime, but I, I still am very positive. But on this app, it's so interesting when you said self-reflective universe. Boy, do you when you're listening to people's voices and you're hearing them, and, um, and, you know, I love, uh, there's a room called Debate the News, um, which in the evening is really interesting. But you can hear people, and sometimes when I go to even have the answer in my own mind, I could hear my own, because I'm so positive and I just can't help but see the world positive. And, and I'm like, oh, I'm not even gonna say anything because it's gonna come out like, you know, like, oh, Adrian's so positive when she thinks these things. But, um, I just love that because you really can tell that self-reflective universe, who's angry, who's got something stirring in them, who's not really saying exactly how they feel, but yet you can hear it with the anger. So, um, I absolutely love this, and the book sounds fascinating. So wait, so I want to go into two things before we go though, because, hey, you said you— so the two talks that you did with TEDx, which is not an easy feat to accomplish. So to get in twice, and then you were saying these were a little bit before the book. So you, you tell, can you share a little bit about that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the TED Talks were me, for, were for me somehow were extremely easy. I, I sent 18 applications in in 3 weeks and I had 2 yeses. And I probably, you know, and I'm thinking about doing another one because Showing Up has matured and so many and evolved because, you know, I'm constantly doing research. I do evergreen surveys that I send out around the world, and I ask a set of the questions that are the same so that I've got longitudinal data going back to 1999 asking the same questions. They're filled with open text boxes in addition to kind of checkboxes, and then I also evolve a few questions. So I would like to probably do another few TED Talks that kind of bring in the newer data. But also, you know, people talk to me about showing up and how it changed their lives and what's helpful and what's not.

Yeah.

So, and I think that, you know, people ask me why do I think it was so easy to secure two TED Talks? And they were recent, by the way, they were in 2022. So it isn't like I did this before, you know, this whole massive ramp of people applying. I think that the topic, um, is applicable to everything on the planet, big and small. You can apply it to across your whole life. You can apply it to a given meeting or interaction. You can apply it to a 3-second choice. Of your rush to get out of the house to get to work. You've got to drop your kids off at school. Your 3-year-old is struggling to tie her own shoes. And right then and there, how are you choosing to show up? Do you say, "Anna, just for this morning, Anna, Mommy's gonna do it because we just have to get out the door," or do you say, You're so close. Take your time. I know you can do it. I'm— take your time. And you just sit there and glow out of awe and wonder that she even exists. I do with my kids, and boy, my almost 16-year-old teenage daughter, boy does she not like it. I just look at I just absorb she's here. I named her Victoria because she was the 7th pregnancy. I have 2 kids, 7 pregnancies. So there were 5 that opted out of their own accord. And I just look at her and I mean, my Zoe, my older one, I, you know, Zoe means life. I have life and victory, the 1st conception and the 7th conception.

Anyway.

Yeah. I think that it was my topic was chosen because of the topic. And also the way I write about it is powerful. I mean, if I can read, like, you know, I haven't actually chosen a quote, but if I read this place, it's existential. I mean, I make it a day-to-day thing. You get up, what are you doing? Like, I make it a practical thing and I'm endless, you know, little, little quick snippet interviews. It's very day-to-day and real, but it's existential. Um, here, um, let me see, because I've got a whole bunch of quotes here. Showing up unites us as humans, transcending race, ethnicity, education, ability level, social strata, gender identity—categories too often used to divide us. Where are some other quotes? Showing up isn't a peripheral feature of our operating system, it's our defining characteristic. Let us fortify, understand, and profit from it. So the way I write, I think, um, also probably helped me to secure those TED Talks. But I definitely— I mean, the book, the book is existential, um, and it actually ends with something I did on the TED stage. I didn't, I didn't know if they were going to throw out my video and not elevate it to TED. My— it was pulled up to TED.com, which is— I mean, what I learned is like this very big deal. When you do a TED Talk, it can either stay on the TEDx Omaha, like whatever TEDx you did, or When TED looks at it, they can decide this is worthy of the big stage. So it's also on TED.com. And I took a huge risk, which felt authentic. You know, everything I do is authentic. I take a ton of risks. They don't feel risky. They're just like, damn it, this has to get done. I'm doing this now. And what I did is I walked off the red dot. I stepped off the carpet. I didn't know, was the camera going to be staring at an empty stage now? I had no idea. It turns out it did follow me. And what came out of my mouth is what's in this, the last few sentences of the book. And my tone was just one-on-one. And I said, I hope you accept this invitation tonight. To show up just a little bit kinder, a little— with a little bit more choice. And only as individuals and accomplices in our collective can we steer the world into a healthier, happier place. The choice is yours. I can't wait to see. What you do with them. So everyone needs to understand the fundamental beliefs of showing up. Number 1, you deeply matter. Number 2, you're impacting the world at every moment. Therefore, you are accountable to do what? To choose how you show up. Level 1, 2, or 3, being a situation member at every moment, you can never not be showing up and a self and a societal member at every moment.

I know I'm being quiet just because I'm just— it's, it's— wow. I'm definitely going to be rewatching this. Wow. Wow. It's so funny because I, when I, you know, I'm looking at Joseph's picture here and I'm thinking to myself, You know, we show up every Tuesday and Thursday night ready to— ready. But then there is so much more to it. You know, we are showing up, you know, in a good mood and ready to deliver a story and ready to have a conversation regarding whatever that true crime is. And Joseph, I don't want to bother you, but if you, if you have a second just to say hi to Marcy so she can hear another voice, so she does— she, um Take your pictures. Hi, Marcy.

Hi, nice to meet you. Welcome to— is she on Chatter or are you streaming to other platforms?

Yeah, streaming, multi-streaming, and then on Chatter. Amazing. So meet you, and here is, uh, just so you can see how it looks. And so it's, you know, it's Christmas week, so there's not as many people on, so it just depends on the time of the day. But Marcy, take us downstairs.

Oh, to see the art. Yeah. And I would love for those people who are watching— I'm always looking for data and how this is landing. What's useful? What's not? What's confusing? What should I never say again? What should I explain more deeply? Okay, so I'm coming down.

That's really a good question. I always think, you know, a lot of people are asked for advice giving advice, or is that your doggy?

Yes, there are two dogs. No, it's, it's totally okay. Um, so this— am I correct, you're a sculptor?

Oh, you are? Well, I sculpt.

Uh, this is just a small piece that you can see. I sculpt and I do also massive pieces. I was in the penthouse of an, um, Aqua Art Miami with about 10 feet, 10 by 6 feet. Here is another one. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's behind you? So remember I started out, we're flow systems, so doesn't it make sense this is show-up art, right? Because it's— this is dynamic flow, it's resin, it is very three-dimensional. I don't know if you can uh, how to show you that.

Oh, I see it. Oh my gosh, it's gorgeous.

Oh wow, very— wow, wow, dimensional.

Um, where do you sign those? How are you— how do you sign those?

That is another piece up here. Oh, hard to see. Oh, there's that. Um, yeah, and I can quickly show you some other photos from, um, you know, the whole Art Basel Miami. So wait, what, what was the question?

The question was, how are you signing them? Are they signed?

Sign them? Um, yes, I sign the resin itself, and I just find, find a place that's not too obvious and sign it. But I mean, my art is very— it spans a wide range. Here, I'm going to show you a photo of the Abundance that I created for Miami. Think pink flamingo and glowing fluorescent colors. So here, this is what I did. I just put it on my website, which is Marcy Axelrod Art.

Uh, here. Oh wait, I could go on the website. Can I go on that website?

Uh, here, here. Can you, can you see that?

Yes. Is it on your website though? Yeah, the reflection behind it.

So there were two of them, and they were actually hanging from the ceiling. I can't really tell what you're seeing and not seeing.

So no, I can't, but I'm wondering if I could just— so is it— those were for Art Basel.

It's, it's just Marcy Axelrod Art.

Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let's go, let's go to the website if that's okay with you.

Yeah. And then this one was also there. This is a large piece, 4 feet. Oh, this was also there.

I really want to see it. Go, Marcy. Wait, hold on. I want— I really want to go, um, on your website and see it. Um, art Marcy Axelrod. Art. Okay, yes, let me share the tab. All the art.

Yes, so there, that's a purple. Yeah. And that— yeah, so I'm gonna be at the Grand Palais in Paris in February. At Art Capital, and then I'll be at the Venice Biennale. Or, well, me— my art.

Look at this! Oh, this is so— oh my gosh, I love— I told you I grew up in— me and my parents have— where we have two art galleries left. And oh, look at these pieces!

This, this purple and blue piece was also in a different room, um, at Art Basel.

And oh, oh, I love this!

Oh, oh, oh, Oh, wow. Yeah. If you move your mouse off of the purple piece, it'll come back. Or. Yeah.

Oh, it's so pretty. Oh, I'm loving this. Oh, wow, wow, wow. Yeah.

Yeah. Is that a mirror? It's on a mirror. Yeah. That's a 3-foot round mirror. And I brought that to the Boston Affordable Art Fair, and I got a whole bunch of commissions. Okay. Can you do it in red, orange, and yellow? 'Oh, can you do it in this?' So now it's in corporate offices, now it's in a bunch of different places. Not that specific piece, but commissions of different colors of that piece.

Yeah, I would like to see that one in real life. Oh, wow. Actually, it is real life.

That piece is at my house, which is also a gallery. So people are invited. Where are you now? Uh, right now— oh, oh, and that piece that's glowing, we go back up a teeny bit. Yes, the one that's, that's shining. Go back, it's on the left, the clear on black. No, the, the one right below it, the clear on black. That—

oh, oh my gosh.

Oh wow, is going to be in the Miami-Dade Museum of Art and Design. It may be there already, I don't know. I sent it off a couple couple weeks ago. I don't know if it's hung yet.

Oh my gosh, the packaging of this must be incredible. Yeah, this is our—

look at how sweet you look right there.

Oh, what's up? Wait, so when you told me, when you called me last week and we were talking and I had to cancel due to my stupid cough, you, um, you were saying that it really—

so like, when did you start with your artwork and how long has it been? So I've created art my entire life, but I didn't do it to sell. I didn't do it to put it out there. I just, I just kind of did it and people saw it and I would do it for them. And then I would get calls from their friends. So I was doing commission work on and off, um, for, um, a long time. But, um, it's only June 12th was the Hampton— for the Fine Arts Hamptons. And that was the first show I did, and that was June. That was 6 months ago. So, wow. And then I got in from there. I got invited to the Boston Affordable Art Fair. From there I got invited to Miami. From there I got invited to Paris, and then from the— and, um, Venice.

Yeah, the artist's doors are opening. Wow. Yeah, I know, beautiful work.

I don't think it's showing the glowing. It's not showing this yet, and I don't know why it was supposed to. Anyway, so this is, this is the side of the piece that went to Miami.

Anyway, absolutely beautiful. And now I want to show this too, just before we go. I want people to see, um, see your, your choose2showup.com site, which is really, really interesting. I was, I was thinking that we were going to talk about art, but I like— because I don't, I don't know my guests, I'm like, this is amazing. So, okay, so here's the book where you can get the book, you guys. I love it. The testimonials, I know you've got a lot of them. Oh, you got a free download, Show Up Summary. Oh, let's just look at this. This is interesting. Oh, is it there?

I don't even know that that works because I'm still working on the summary and I don't remember. Maybe I did put something up there. I don't remember. Yeah, I spend as little time online as possible and that's just me. I choose to show up to the moments of my life a little bit differently. I don't like to be online. I don't like to post. I have easily 50 podcasts and, you know, incredible reviews and comments from people that I don't, I don't post any of it. Someone may convince me that they should just get it done for me at some point. But all year, none of it's been put up because it's not who I am. I'm not seeking, I'm not seeking fame. I'm seeking to make the world a better place. So Anyway, the website is probably extremely dated because I don't look at it. It's just how it's fine.

No, it's just a good— it's people just want to get an idea of who you are. So that's, that's great. It's just On Your Game. You didn't mention this book.

This is great.

So On Your Game, can you just give us a little synopsis of— Yeah.

So On My Game was really my training wheels. Book. I wrote that— I don't, um, it came out I think in 2016 or '28, around there, maybe 2018. And then How We Show Up came out. And anyway, it doesn't matter when they came out, but it was a few years prior. It was the first book that I wrote. And you know, some— sometimes you have to write 5 books and then the 6th book is the one you were really designed to, to write. I think, I think— I mean, this is definitely a book that is designed to help meet the world where we are now. You know, people are living at a level of consciousness that I believe is substantially below the level of consciousness that we're designed to live at. And I think that without using those words and that phrasing, the ideas that are in the book about we are impacting each other at every moment. We are interwoven energies. We change each other. I mean, we inherently know this. I mean, you see one— see someone who's elated and filled with joy, and you are uplifted. Like, we know this. You see someone who's just dour and, and hurt and living in shame, and your whole body shifts. Like, we know these And yet we aren't living day to day in a way that makes us accountable for how we are changing those around us necessarily. I mean, some people are, and that's great, but there's, there's a whole lexicon of showing up that when you understand, it's like, this is exactly how the world works. This, this makes sense. And the beliefs are They change behaviors without effort, right? There are a lot of people, especially this time of year, they want to change certain behaviors in, in certain ways. Having a behavioral approach to behavior change doesn't work. Look at your underlying belief and start with the basic thing. How does the world work? What am I doing here? And then the change in your behavior will just naturally flow. Why? Because you'll see the world differently, think differently. That's my recommendation. So resolutions aren't really the way to go. Look at your beliefs and who you are, and you will start to flow differently, more in line with who you want to be.

Marcy, so it's so, it's so interesting to me because I actually really needed this conversation, um, And I don't do New Year's resolutions, but I did a couple of years ago. No excuses. I didn't want to be the person to show up and give everyone an excuse. Like, I just— it just never felt good. Like, oh my God, I'm this, this, this, this. And I— the other day I ended up saying I went against my own and I'm like, oh, I, I was questioned on how I was acting and I was like, oh, I, I'm not feeling that great. And then I was like mad at myself. I'm like, oh my God, what? Like, no, Adrian, no excuses. Like, You know, you are who you are. But, but then on the other hand, I'm a mother. So thank you for like reminding me of what's important. But I actually have been questioning the way I've been showing up just for the last 24 hours. Am I showing up too positive? Am I, am I being annoying? I remember at the workplace, the family business, we had an employee who was always like Tigger, always so happy, always bouncing. And it was shocking and I loved it. And it was shocking to me how many people had something negative to say about her. Oh, there she's always so happy. And it got me like thinking, oh my God, are we not allowed to be happy? Like, what does that look like? Why? I never studied like you have, but I was actually questioning myself and how I show up. And you know what? I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm so glad that you were here today to help me to know there's nothing wrong with my being positive and showing up and wanting to make others feel good about themselves too, and putting that together. And even though I'm not going to be liked by everyone, thank you for giving me the courage to say, you know what, it is a context for— and that's how I play this game. And it's just who I am. I mean, you could take me on the worst day and I'm still going to find something beautiful about that day, beautiful about people. You know, my son questioned me one day. He said, Mom, you're always telling people that they're beautiful and you can't mean it. Not everyone is. And I was like, Sam, are you kidding me? There is so much beauty. I mean, your smile just gives me like— it's like, oh, I can't explain it. I just want— I have to be like a kid and clap when I see your smile. So no, Sam, I'm— this is who I am. Your mom just happens to be someone who just is very positive, and because of Marcy, I'm going to continue to show up positive and not let some of the negative thoughts that can tend to, like, swirl. And they have been for 24 hours. And then you come into the show. So amazing. Amazing. And thank you so much. We spent an hour together. I loved every minute of it. I'm so excited that you called me and, and understood that I wasn't feeling well last week. And I feel so much better. And, and that's another thing, you know, going through an illness and like how you show up when you're sick, that's That's a whole nother discussion. I'm going to order your book. And do you want us to order it through your, uh, your website or through Amazon? What is best?

It doesn't matter, it's the same thing. You go to my website, it goes straight to Amazon. Yeah, yeah. If it's okay, may I, may I just comment on something you said? Um, wondering if, you know, showing up as Tigger each day might be a negative. A big part of truly showing up to others is asking, how is it for you when I do this? Or how was that for you? If someone mentioned something, there is always a curiosity that is really authentic. How is it for you when I'm so positive every day? Or even like right now, because what you want to be is open. And we didn't talk about the hemispheres of the brain. That'll be for another, another show, but it's a very big deal which, which mode of attending you're showing up in, because the left hemisphere, get it done mode, will only let you just show up, which is that kind of mechanical human doing, um, sleepwalk through life mode. While what you really want to do in your joy and in everything else is to sense the, sense the environment around you, sense what the group of humans are, how they're responding. And simply, if maybe you're not sure if it's too much energy, you can just say, hey, how is it for you that I just kind of walked in with all this, you know, joy? Because maybe they'll say, like, I need, I need a little bit less today.

No, thank you for that. That is great advice, actually. Um, I should do that more. I think I would— I really like that idea because I want to be thoughtful because I've witnessed how people don't always like Tigger. I'm a Tigger girl. Um, so thank you so much. Is there anything, anything that I missed that you did want to share today that, that I didn't ask the question?

Um, I would just like to leave— I shouldn't say just— what I'd like to leave people with is know that you're showing up in every moment and that you're changing the world. So choose how you're showing up. And if you want something to go and do, take out a piece of paper and a pen and write down what you believe about how the world works. Is it self-reflective? Is it positive? Are we here to help others? Or, or are we here to be competitive and acquire stuff? Like, which is it, right? Do we really need stuff? Do we need to believe the lies of society that success looks like this instead of like that?

Okay, I could do that homework. That is really great. Thank you so much. And thank you, Consuela, for being in the room, and Joseph. I really appreciate it. I know there's other rooms out there, so thank you so much. See, Marcy, you're also a very, very beautiful woman. Um, so thank you. I really am so glad that we connected. And so, yes, I want to get on your email list so I know where your show— where your shows are. Is there a place to sign up? How does that work?

There is, there is. There's a way to contact me and there's a way to join the email list, although I can't say I've ever sent an email. Or yeah.

I just want to stay up to date with what you're doing, so that's great. But I will— I can follow you. So, I mean, wait, are you on any social media platforms?

Yeah, maybe once a month I discipline myself to spend 5 minutes and I— I love it. Photos.

Yeah, I love it. Think of me, think of me. So thank you, thank you for all the art tour. I loved it. I love your pieces, are absolutely beautiful. And, uh, and have a great holiday season. Enjoy your holiday. And, um, and this will be produced, uh, maybe next year, or maybe before next year. I love this time of year. I love, love, love— even as a kid, see you next year. Oh, I would giggle like, just like a little— it's so cute. See you next year. I love it. All right, Marcy, thank you so much for your time and being bold and brave and beautiful. And I will end the live stream. And that was fantastic.