Rebuilding Life After Tragedy: Mandy Nicholson's Triumph

I put water.

I love it. So looks like we're live and the music is not keeping us, so I need to get rid of that music, everyone. I'm sorry. Do you hear the music? Yes.

Oh, you do too?

Yes. Okay, we're gonna go here and we're going to say goodbye, background music.

Okay.

So this is really live. So welcome everyone. We're not fooling around when we say live, we mean live.

I—

and we're not fooling around when I say no prep needed. I haven't even met Mandy. So Mandy is— I can tell you what I know about Mandy. She's brave, she's bold. I think she's from UK. And I love the fact that Mandy was brave enough to say yes, let's go live. And let's see how you are. Plus, Mandy is a trustworthy, uh, person because if she's trusting me, I bet you we all could trust Mandy. So Mandy, I, I can't even say without further introduction because you have to introduce yourself. That's the beauty of this program.

Yep. Okay, well, it's a, it's a pleasure to be here. I am Mandy Nicholson and I am the Creative Genius Consultant. I'm an artist, and an author, and I own a creative retreat space in Scotland in the UK, and I help creative women to launch, grow, and scale their businesses and make more money.

So tell me about your background.

Um, my background— I went to uni and did a degree in art and design, um, but couldn't find a job that I really loved after I'd left, and they don't really prep you for work when you're at uni. So I ended up in retail and had a very successful career there for 20+ years, left the creative side of me behind a bit, which is what a lot of women do when they leave uni. They tend to be in admin jobs. I went a bit further than that. I was a store manager for big brands like IKEA and B&Q, and I was a divisional executive running multiple sites. So I did really well in my career, six-figure job. Um, but there's this void inside of you, um, that is the creativity that you are not expressing. Even though it was coming out within the role I was doing, it's not the same as canvas, and it's not the same as, you know, being creative with the mediums that are available. But like everybody else in life, I suppose it's a, it's a societal myth, isn't it? The myth of the starving artist. I believed I couldn't earn money as a creative. So I kind of just carried on in that career, and then I had a series of unfortunate events, um, in 2009 where I ended up at rock bottom and lost everything. I lost my career, my husband, number of things. My dad died. I ended up in council house with no money, no job, on my own as a single mum with 2 kids and 2 dogs. So since then, 2009, I have rebuilt my life and my wealth on working for me, not for anybody else.

Are you able to share what happened? Is it very personal?

Well, I wrote a book about it. It's called The Life I Won, and I wrote it— I fictionalized it. I had a car crash. It was one of those profound moments. We all have a moment, I think, in our lives that we know is is a profound moment that's going to change things. And I was driving to work one morning and a huge stag jumped out in the middle of the motorway, and I swerved to miss it rather than hit it, and I crashed my car and seriously injured myself. So that was— it was almost like a trigger point for everything that was going wrong, because what happened was I was no longer in that career I then found out lots of things. My husband had been having an affair. My sister, who I was in business with, had got into tens of thousands of debt in the business, which I was liable for. So it— things started to become uncovered because I was no longer at work earning all this money.

Oh, like the snowball effect ended up happening. And how long was this process like when you're finding out? So you're You're— were you very— let's go back to the accident first of all. How were you very hurt? Like, what was, what was that?

I was about 4 months in recovery, um, so I was quite seriously hurt. Um, I was ready to go back to work and they made me redundant because when you're not there, it's just a— you're just a number, aren't you? Even though I was a senior leader with a great track record, um, when you're not there, you're not needed. So I ended up being— because I've been off sick for 4 months— being made redundant. And that was a complicated thing, but that's in my book, because they just wanted me to go away. And I fought for 12 months' severance and got it. But it was— I was in that snowball effect of everything. During that time when I was recovering, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. He lived for 4 months. So in, in the course of 12 months I'd lost my job, I was injured, my husband left, my dad died, my sister got the business into, you know, £100,000 worth of debt, and I had to go bankrupt. And I ended up then being made homeless on Christmas Eve and ended up in social housing, you know, with the kids and the dogs. But in all of that happening, I realized what was really important. What really mattered was my kids, my health, and I had everything I needed up here in my brain. I just needed to use it.

And, and you're alive. So I picture the snowball effect, and then I picture you, you're at the bottom now of the big hill, and now you're bringing it back up. You're going to pull it back up. So what takes place as you're, as you're slowly getting the, the ball back to the top of the, uh, The Snowcap?

I think because I've been a lifelong learner and I already had, you know, my degree in art and design, and my company had paid for me to do another degree in business management, I knew that investing in me was the best thing I could do, even though I had no money at the time. And I looked around me and I thought, you know what, I need to make money quickly and I need to invest in myself. And I was living in Northumberland at the time, the north of England, which is a huge holiday destination area. So I started a cleaning business really quickly. Just started a cleaning business, put it out to the world, and within 3 weeks I had enough clients, um, with holiday cottages and pubs and things that wanted— I had to start hiring staff.

Wow.

So really quickly, you can build any business really, like a business really quickly. Not every business, but that one was easy to do because I looked at the demographics, I looked at the area, And what happened was I was working with the secrets and, you know, manifestation. From that point on, I never looked for work again. It found me. And that kind of built— I still notice I still didn't go back to my creativity yet.

Yes, and I'm trying to figure out, so you got the business of the cleaning, which I'm curious if you enjoyed, there was some kind of peace or satisfaction that you were getting. And then I want to hear how, how then were you able to, to move forward?

Yeah, so yeah, I think the cleaning business has served me well for a few years because I didn't have to think about it. I didn't have all those business things going on like I'd had as a senior leader. I just needed to get people's houses cleaned to a good standard and get paid. So That really served me well, but what happened was I took on a client who had a number of holiday cottages, but he also had a financial services business, and his wife got cancer and she died, and he sold off— he, he asked me to help him sell the holiday cottages, and then he invited me into his financial services business. So I changed direction, and from there I found another opportunity in a wills and estate planning business. So I'd had at that point been— had my own business or been part of 3 businesses that were completely different to what I'd been doing. So along the way, I'd met my soulmate, my dream man. Gary went to a party and he was sitting next to me, but— and we started chatting, and, you know, you know, you just know. And I'd met him then, so he was the one who actually said to me I met him in 2013, and he, he watched me build all these businesses with other people. And eventually he said to me, why don't you stop talking about this creativity thing and just do it? And you make—

challenge—

you've made money. Yeah, you've made money in lots of other places. Why can't you make it from creativity? And I was like, you know what, He's right, he is right. So I started to look into that around 2017, 2018, invested in a coach. In the meantime, because I was in financial services, I've been very, very smart with the money that I'd earned. I'd sold the cleaning business, I'd invested wisely, I'd scooped up and moved pension pots. And by 2019, which is 10 years after I had the accident, I launched my creative business, wrote my book and published it, and bought my dream home for cash. And, you know, £350,000 in cash. And that was just such a, you know, a 10-year journey that took me to this place. I had my dream home, my dream man, my dream business. I'd got my book published, and we went into 2020, and what happened? The pandemic. So my business was still doing well, um, you know, through the pandemic. I was— I built an online business and it was doing well. And then in April 2020, uh, my husband went into a normal appointment at, at the hospital and never came out. Um, he was in hospital for a month. They blue-lighted him to another hospital. I never saw him. And 3 days before he died, they called me in and said, you need to come, we've stopped all treatment, you need to come in and say your goodbyes. So that was 2020. So I know it was quite— it, and it was the pandemic, you weren't allowed in to see anybody. It was really difficult. And I was at home with the kids, grown-up kids, but still kids, 16 and 19 at the time, or 16 and 20. Yeah. Um, so we then had that to deal with, and, and that was really awful. You know, you couldn't have a funeral. You could only have 8 people at the funeral sitting 2 meters apart. That to deal with. So I took a few months after he died to really steady myself. And during the pandemic, we were locked down, the 3 of us, in the house together grieving. Um, and in 2020, the start of 2021, I said, you know what, when I'd bought my dream home, I put a castle on my vision board. I wanted— my big vision was to have a castle in Scotland where I could hold creative retreats for women from around the world. So I looked at this castle and I worked up the numbers, and I thought, I can't afford it now, but you know what, I think I'll sell the house and move to Scotland. At least then I'm in situ of where I want to be. So I put the house on the market and sold it the same day for the full asking price from a cash buyer. So it was obviously meant to be. So in 2021, me and my son headed to Scotland while my daughter went back to university to finish her degree, and the universe put in front of me a miniature version of the very castle that was on my—

yeah, so I'm still there now.

Yeah, this is where I am.

So we need to see pictures. We need— sorry, but we'll have pictures in the, in the description. Oh my gosh, that's crazy.

Yeah, well, it's, it's an old bank actually. It's an ex-bank. The castle I had on my vision board was Breekin Castle in Scotland, and this is in Dalbeattie in Scotland. And it was a bit of a wild card because it was up on the market, been empty for 2 years, no Nobody wanted it because it was a big project. It's 7 bedrooms, um, and it's 3 stories, and it's— it looks a bit like a castle, but it's not. It's a house. It's an ex-bank, um, and it needed fully renovating. What are you—

ex-what?

Ex-bank. It was a bank.

Actual— a bank? A financial institution?

Yeah, yeah, ex-bank.

Was there a vault in there? Yeah, there was.

Yeah, that's actually attached. It's not, it's not part of the house, it's next door, but it's still there. Um, so this was the bank manager's living quarters, if you like. They were very grand in those, those days, in the '90s, the '70s, '80s, and '90s. The bank manager was really important in little towns and villages. So yeah, so we're on the high—

I get chills.

I know. I walked in and we've got like 13-foot ceilings.

But you bought on sight unseen? You just bought— you purchased it without seeing it?

I walked in, I pulled up outside and it didn't look very much, and I walked in and I saw all these cornices and molded plaster balustrades and big high skirting boards and huge doors, you know, 6-foot-6 doors. And I thought, wow, this is quite substantial. And by the time I'd gone up 3 floors and seen how many rooms there were and then found out it had a walled garden just like the castle on my vision board, I was like, you know what, yeah, it's in a bit of a mess and it needs renovating, but I've got the cash, I'm just gonna buy it. So I did, um, and what it did for me was give me purpose because Having lost my husband, I needed some purpose, something in my life that was going to replace that loving relationship that I'd had with him. And this was the biggest project I'd ever taken on my— on my— in my life. But I'd just been to rock bottom once and then had something awful happen again. And I thought, you know what, I survived the first time, I'll survive this. I need to do something big. So I'd been building my coaching business through all of this, so that was doing well. I've moved it to six figures, and then I bought this. And there's such a synergy because a lot of the clients that do my programs, the Creative Mastermind program, end up coming here for a retreat because I do 4-day and 7-day retreats. But outside of the retreats, we do bed and breakfast. We— I've monetized it in every possible way, and I've renovated it top to bottom. It needed a whole new roof. We had to pull walls down, ceilings down, remold plaster, um, new kitchen, 3 bathrooms. It's been a big project.

Wow. Wow. I have a question for you. All right, so first of all, I'm going to assume that you probably, during this, with your new business coaching, you probably help other people that have gone— other women that have gone through similar Yeah, and I— because I could just tell that you have the heart for that. But if you don't mind my asking this question, I'm trying to figure out the best way to say it.

Do you—

have you ever thought to yourself, what if I didn't have the accident? What if I was still that day, no accident happened? Would I have ever had your father still? But like, like, what would things have looked like if you never had that accident? And what this accident really ended up propelling you to do? Like, how— how— I just like to hear what was going on in your mind.

Well, I think that's why I wrote the book, because I— the story itself, it— for me, it really was a pivotal moment. Had I not had the accident, I would never have done any of this. It really did give me a huge fearless view of life, of, you know, when you lose so much and you can still find a way to keep going, anything is possible.

Can I, um, could you tell what—

can you—

first of all, do you have a book in front of you? Uh, okay, what is the name of the book again?

It's called The Life I Won.

The Life I Won?

Yeah, by— and it's written under my pen name, which is AJ King.

Oh, I love that. The Life I Won, W-O-N, by AJ King, available Amazon.

Amazon. Yeah.

Wow. Okay.

And it has my, it has my own art on the COVID So I, you know, the, the COVID has a painting on that I've done called Let Her Rise, and it's purposely used because of the name of the painting.

Wow, Amanda, your story is amazing. And then so the book goes through the— first I want to tell everyone I know about that logo on the like blocking them. It's bothering me like crazy. I can't wait to get rid of it. Um, and I've never met Mandy before, so if you're blown away by the story, I am too. Except I love the fact that Mandy's bold, brave, and has a beep load of grit. Like, talking about grit, Mandy, you are— you have the grit to do all of this. And then it does feel like when you share the story that Gary kind of was the one that helped you even in his passing? Like, do you ever feel Gary? Do you ever like feel like— oh, tell me, tell me, I love stories like that.

Oh no, I feel him all the time. He would have loved this place, um, because he did say— I mean, losing him was inevitable. He did have a life-limiting condition when I met him, so it was a risk. I didn't know how long we had, but then with COVID he was immune suppressed, So it happened, but I still feel him with me today. There'll never be anyone else. He was a wonderful, wonderful man. Um, he's actually— he's on— he's on my windowsill because he said, after I go, I want to be with the dogs, because we've still got the ashes of two of our dogs on the windowsill looking out. And he's looking out into the garden from my bedroom, so he's with me all the time. Yeah, he's with me all the time.

Wow. So without the accident, you, you probably could have still ended up being married to the— you think you would ever found out about your first husband's?

Possibly. And possibly, I don't know whether I would have stayed or whether I would have let— I don't know. And it's, it's funny, isn't it? I see that accident as possibly the greatest thing that ever happened to me And that's weird.

Well, no, to me it's not, but I'm also 61, so like, you know, we have a little bit more wisdom and understanding. But when you were going through it, do you even want to hear people say, oh, it's okay, Mandy, you're laid up for 4 months, but this was meant to be? Like, how do you— what were some of the things actually that you would have liked to have heard from your friends? And maybe you did, um, during that time. What should people say to someone that is, is facing so much traumatic things happening in their lives? Can you kind of tell us what would have been good?

I was very lucky in my friendship group that I had great friends that were just there for me to say, do what— do, do you, Mandy, just do you and don't worry about anything else. And they were there to pick me up and to listen to me. And, um, I actually write about one of them, Naomi, in the book, who was just like we would drink Baileys and rum together and, you know, put the world to rights. And she just listened and I just listened to her. And that's important. I think your friendship group is so important. Um, and then they lifted me up. They didn't— yeah, they lifted me up. And, and that's important for everybody.

So they were telling you that, that things will happen that'll be good and that just get through this? Oh, okay, thank you. All right, you mentioned, um, first of all, I have a very important question to ask you. Brandy and rum, I'm confused. Do we mix that together? Is it half and half? Does it taste good?

Brandy, Bailey's, and rum?

No, Bailey's and rum, do they go together?

No, no, we drink separately.

Oh, okay, that helps. I'm not a drinker, so I'm like, did I— would I like Bailey's? I like rum. Okay, so now another question to ask you. You mentioned about a secret. So like during the— a part of the— after that happened, what was that? What was that secret that you were not sharing?

No, no, that was The Secret, you know, the book and the film The Secret. So I was working with, um, The Secret. I'd got the film and I'd read the book and I'd got the film and I was really— you know when you just watch something and I know it was really hyped up But you just watch something, you go, oh my goodness, I've been doing this my whole life, but I've made myself smaller. I need to do what I've always done, um, and I need to go back to being able to manifest all the things that I want. And that's— it was a revelation to me at the time, and it wasn't. It was a contradiction in terms.

That is so— you know, it's funny, when The Secret came out, I, I was I, I really always felt like, well, I'm doing that already. Like, I've always had such a positive way, and, you know, I've always recognized that misery loves company, right? And how— and just, uh, how to be positive. So I feel like that's something I, I just kind of like understood right away. So, Mandy, I, I have one more question and then we do have to go, but I'm— so what advice would you have for another woman? Because everyone's going through these kind of like not everyone, but when people are touched by tragedy, what's the advice that you would share with them?

I think it's, you know, you've got to take a deep breath and look at what you already have, the skills that you have that you may have been using elsewhere that you can use to help you get through this. Now, I'm very good at connecting with people, so I asked for help. I stuck my hand up and I asked for help. I said, I'm starting a cleaning business, if anyone knows anybody. And loads of people came forward with, try this, try this, try this. Um, I stuck my hand up after Gary, um, died and said, I can't get any grief counseling on the NHS, does anybody know anybody? And within 15 minutes, I had a grief counselor from people that I know. So I think it's Be prepared to ask for help, and people around you will, will help you.

It, it's human nature, but it's asking the help that's the hardest thing. That is excellent. If I'm taking that advice, I actually am, because I'm the worst at asking for help. So, uh, and it's humbling. So I really appreciate that, Mandy. I really— I'm so grateful. I've— I was doing the lives during COVID and I stopped. And I'm a podcast producer for 5 amazing, amazing shows, and I love doing it. But I felt like I was missing a little bit of like going live and having conversations and meeting people myself, which is what I love to do too. So I love— now I get to produce amazing podcasts and speak to amazing guests. I love that you said yes. What made you say yes, by the way? Are you saying yes to a lot of opportunities? To being on the show?

I am, yeah. I think it's important if you want to get your message out there and you want to help the people that you love helping, you've got to put the effort into saying, hey, I'm here and this is what I do.

I love that. Okay, can you connect with me on LinkedIn? Because I don't, I'm not, I don't know if you actually accepted my— and I, and so I, I'd like to find you on every channel. So are you on LinkedIn? I know you're on as everywhere. Okay, is there a website?

Yes, Mandy, I've got two. mandynicholson.co.uk mandynicholson.co.uk.

Yeah, okay.

And, and the Art Bank Dalbeattie.

Oh, that's a little harder.

Dot com. Can you use the art bank? Yeah, the— so the art bank, B-A-N-K, yeah. And then Dalbeattie. D-A-L-B-E-A-T-T-I-E, Dalbeatie.com.

Okay, let's add that and see if that— let's see if it's scrolling. Let's see if we got that right. Hold on, I want to make sure. And the life I want, and show it. Okay. Oh my God, the bank. That's so cool, Mandy. I am so grateful. I feel so bad that my photo is like sticking in your— like, I'm just so mad at myself. But I'm so grateful that you came on. It's so interesting. And then it's so lovely to be global and to be talking to you from I don't even know how many miles away. So that's amazing. And then wait, so then how many— how many— what's the— how many retreats have you had so far and how many people? I know I said one last question, but I can't help myself. How many treats have you had so far, and what's the maximum amount of, um, humans you could have?

Right, we've got— we've only got 3 rooms, but they're 3 themed rooms. I've got a Van Gogh room, a Monet room, and a Picasso room. Um, we can take up to 5 with, with 2 couples sharing. Um, so if you want to come with a friend or you want to come with a partner, then we can take up to 5. But normally I have 3 3 women here, um, and I do 4-day and 7-day retreats. And I've done retreats right through 2022 and 2023, and I'm fully booked already for the first 3 retreats of this year. So it's, um, doing well.

And what can they— can they bring their pets, their turtles and birds? And oh, I love it, I love it. I am pet friendly because I have 3 dogs, so So we'll have to do this again because I didn't even get to talk to you about the art. I'm curious. I grew up with art galleries. My parents loved art. They loved— this is Melanie Taylor Kent right behind me. And my parents, my dad and mom, really had a heart for starving artists, like you said, and would, you know, would always, always help and have room in the art gallery or have them come in and do a show. So I love it. I love it. Mandy, thank you so much for being here today. You were amazing. You were my second, uh, conversation to have live. I really appreciate it. We, we did not meet each other before, right? So everyone knows.

No.

Having these kind of conversations is so good for the heart. You shared so much. Have a great rest of the day and weekend. Have a great night, because I know it's— I think it's 5:30 where you are.

It is.

5:30.

Yes. Thank you very much.

Look at me, that one. Look at me, so global. I'm global. All right, have a great day. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you everyone who's listening. If you're listening, we appreciate you. Have a great day. Bye-bye.