Superstar Guest, Christopher L King https://www.clkingspeaker.com/

I've done a little bit. I've done a little bit with—

we're talking about the wall.

Yeah, the wall. I've done a little bit with virtual.

So it's a virtual. I love it. No, it's good in it.

It's not a— it's not a virtual. It's a— it's an actual backdrop.

Oh, I love it. Like a banner?

Yes, ma'am.

Oh, I love it. So hi everyone, today is double day with another wonderful man who you're gonna fall in love with, and Christopher L. King is here with us right now. And I know he's got a great face, doesn't he? I said his face is a work of art. So lovely. So it's very exciting to talk to you. So everyone's like, who, who is Christopher L. King? I can hear everyone saying that. So Christopher L. King Who are you?

Well, thank you so much, first of all, for having me on your show. Uh, it, it really— I do not take it lightly as an opportunity to come and you sharing time with, uh, you know, with me, with your guests. And it's almost like you kind of open up your house to an absolute total stranger, uh, but then in a short order we get to know one another and, uh, we find out that we weren't nearly as strange as maybe we thought in the initial onset. So I am CL King. That's what people call me in, in my line of work. And I live here in North Carolina. I'm married with 7 children. And we started a work and a passion about a decade ago to reach 1 million people with a message that you can overcome any adversity. And so to date, we've reached almost about 400,000 people. We go into schools, community centers, faith-based organizations, and very many other organizations, uh, utilizing the story that I had. I don't— I can't really give anybody else's, uh, story as well as I can give mine. And so the adversity that I experienced as a young kid is really what has resonated with the audiences all across the country and around the world.

Okay, so are you able to share the story?

Oh, absolutely.

I'm all ears.

It started— and I've told this story several times now, uh, this, uh, what are we on, Wednesday this week? Um, and so it started at birth, the adversity. I was born, uh, in adversity. My mother was beat severely by my father, uh, with crutches, broke crutches over her. And, and, uh, it was just— it was an absolute travesty the, the way she was treated and the way I came into the world. So the very first thing I know, remember, or hear about birth was that it was adversity. And then I was placed into foster care at 3 years old because I got a hold of some items that were left out as a 3-year-old kid, and, uh, it caused me to go unconscious. And so Social Services came in, and of course I was taken away from my mother and placed in a, in a foster home. That was the first foster home in Pennsylvania. And then a little while after that, time goes on where I'm placed into my grandmother's home on my father's side. Now this, you would think, okay, we're making a progression, things are going to get better, and we're going to see some— we're going to see some change. Grandmother's father— father's in the picture there at my grandmother's house, and it was absolutely, uh, a, a nightmare, to put it mildly. My father used to beat me so bad. No wonder he beat my— you know, my mother had to come and had to bring me in the world like that. But then I go back and live where he is, and he used to beat me so bad. I remember thinking that, uh, if this man hits me one more time, that's going to be it. I'm going to be dead. I remember thinking of this as a 7, 8, 9-year-old kid, not, not somebody that's my age now at 45, soon to be 46. My dad used to beat me so bad. And then I think even from that dispensation or that generation of the mindset of parenting. My grandmother did some crazy radical things to me too. She, like, I would get put out in the garage, the detached garage there in Cleveland, Ohio, in the wintertime with the dogs. Like, like, who does that to their children as a, as a form of punishment? Sitting on bales of hay in the middle of winter in the garage with the dogs. And I remember that stuff vividly. This is why I try to tell parents, and I do a lot of parenting seminars, I try to tell parents, man, listen, you don't have to be your kid's best friend, but but your kids are going to remember a lot of things that you forget. I've got 7 children. I've made a lot of mistakes as a parent, but the one thing I've tried to do is not repeat the mistakes I saw happen to me. And so, uh, for some strange reason— I don't know how this happened— but for some strange reason, um, I was put back into my mother's home. I don't know how all the logistics of that happened, and that's really where the illumination of how bad things could be actually came to fruition. And so maybe around the age of 10 years old, I was put back in with my mom. My older sister was there, and it was hell on earth. We used to, uh, eat in soup kitchens and, and homeless shelters. Our electricity was off more than it was on. Uh, there were men in the house that came in and did vile things to my sister while I was in the room, vile things to me while she was in the room. I'm talking about physical and sexual abuse at the tender age of 9 and 10 years old that is etched and embossed in my mind. Um, and, and I, I'm like, how is this? And I remember, you know, things were so bad. We used to run drug money for my mother, my sister and I. We would take money across town, and we, we would be so hungry doing that. Melinda and I would eat— we would spend the money on food because one side of Cleveland to the other is not like walking around the corner here in Eastern Carolina. It's a hike. Uh, it's a day journey. And so how this all pivots, so people can have some perspective, is that my wife's— I mean, my mother's husband, uh, went to a soup kitchen and brought home a brownie. And I think that's what's going to be, uh, kind of cataloged in my book. He brought a brownie home for my mother. She didn't eat it that night. I was starving, and so I went and ate the brownie. All right, now I went into that room and I, I took a little corner off of the brownie And I formed it back, and I went away, came back, took another corner off. You see where it's going, right? To where the brownie was totally gone. That next morning, my mother said, who ate my brownie? And my sister would not tell. She knew I did it. I told her I did, but I didn't tell, and my sister wasn't going to tell on me. My mother said, I'm going to beat you kids until I find out who ate this brownie. And, uh, the— what we got beat with were items that I still have welts on me to this day from the type of beatings that we got. And so I told my sister, I said, listen, I am not— okay, I already got punched in the face by my dad like a grown man, left out in the garage with my grandmother, in already a couple different social services scenarios. I'm not gonna get beat anymore. I'm not. And so at 11 years old I walked out the front door. I, I left the front door wide open, kissed my sister on the head as she was sleeping, and I walked out the front door. We lived in utter squalor, ma'am. When I say utter squalor, it was— it, it— the house should have been condemned. I remember us sweeping up the cockroaches after the place would get bombed, and it would— we'd be sweeping them up in garbage bags. This is no exaggeration. My sister Melinda Diane Jackson can verify everything I'm saying. I walked out the front door I left the front door open and I stayed on the streets as an 11-year-old kid for 6 months.

Wow, 6 months.

And, and so doing that, I, I still was— I, I knew those— I knew the kind of the ropes of what was going on in the streets, you know, homeless shelters, soup kitchens and such, and, uh, sleeping outside, walking. Imagine this, starting your day walking and, and watching the sun go down and come back up. That's what I used to do. Go to school, would get double breakfast double lunches. The teachers knew I was severely malnutritioned. They didn't know that I didn't have a home to go to. They didn't know I wasn't living at home anymore. And, uh, the word finally got out that Chris was a runaway. And so they put me in another group home, and that group home was the— well, the first group home, that was a— that was called the Better Way Group Homes in Elyria, Ohio. So that was my first group home. And, uh, that place was— I'm thinking, okay, these people are paid to take care of me, things should get better, right? And the same, the same litter that, that I thought I was escaping from was all riddled throughout this organization in this house. I was the youngest kid there, maybe 11 and a half, 12 years old, and all the other kids were 17, 18, 16 years old. So here's this young fresh meat in a, in a male group home You could just imagine the things that were done to a young kid on, in a, you know, in a group home setting like that. It was, it was again, uh, physical and sexual abuse in a place that was supposed to be a safe place. So I got put in a foster home, and, uh, because they just realized I was too young, I didn't need to be in that environment. I got to put in the first foster home. Then the second foster home I got, I got, I, I got put into was because The first foster home didn't work out. There were some logistical issues there, so I got put in a second foster home after being in another group home. I was two group homes and then two foster homes in that, in that time span. And my second foster home was, was, uh, oversaw by Ruth Plowden. Ruth and Paul Plowden, they are my foster parents. They're, they're, they're deceased, but they had over 83 foster kids over 30 years, and I was one of them. And, uh, they, they took the, they took the most the, the lowest of the lows, all the people, the kids that nobody else wanted. Paul and Ruth plowed and opened up their doors to them. And, and my foster mom, who knew, uh, the, the scars that I had came to her house with, she said, Chris, you can utilize all of that stuff as an excuse to continue the cycle of, of decadence, or you can use it to change the world. And that's what I did. So living with Ruth Plowden, 13 up to 18, things started turning around. She was an amazing foster mom. Pops was an amazing foster dad. And those people positioned me to start thinking that what happened to me in the past wasn't my fault. If what happened to me, getting, you know, getting left and abused and all that kind of stuff, it wasn't my fault. Um, it was, it was those who were taking care of me, it was their fault. And so they said, listen, let's, let's look, let's plot a new course. So by the age of 18, ready when I was getting ready to graduate, uh, I, I had gotten a job at the church right up the street, church on the North Coast, about 2,500 members, and I helped co-lead a missions trip to Belden, England at 18. Now this is the same kid that was homeless just, uh, 7 years prior. And then I joined the United States Marine Corps, had a tremendous time in the Marine Corps, married my high school sweetheart at 19 years old, and then her and I settled here in Eastern Carolina to build a family, family of 7 children and 5, 6 grandchildren. And so as, as time went along, I've been very, very blessed, very, very great jobs, lucrative jobs. And I— but I decided that, you know, I— there was, there was something that was just burning inside of me that I hadn't fulfilled fully what my foster mom told me to do. So I formed a nonprofit, and it's called the C.L. King Group Incorporated. And, uh, we said we're going to go to every hamlet, every corner of the world, and we're going to tell young people, we're going to tell moms and dads, we're going to tell adults, we're going to tell teachers, we're going to tell everyone that, man, no matter the adversity, you still can make it. My life is, is, um, is— it typifies the sea turtle. I feel like I am that sea turtle that made it. You know, only 1% of sea turtles make it to full adulthood. And I feel like because my foster mom told me to keep swimming, she did— she didn't let me look at the stuff that was happening on the shore. She said, keep swimming, Chris. Even I know things bad happen to you, I know there's failure all around, but keep swimming. And I, I tell people that in audience of one, or not, and I've spoke to over 20,000 people at one time, I tell them keep swimming, keep pushing. No matter the adversity, you still can make it. Now, is my life a bed of roses? Absolutely not. Am I pure as the wind-driven snow? Absolutely not. Am I perfect? Absolutely not. But I can tell you this: I, I live in the largest home I've ever lived in. I've made more money now than I've ever made in my entire life. And that's, that's only credited to God Almighty and my foster mom's, uh, encouragement to me that, Chris, you can use your story as an excuse or you can use it to change the world. That's C.L.

King. So, Chris, thank you for sharing that. What about the trauma? Because I get the, the ability to, to motivate yourself, but you actually have the trauma that, that you, that you, that you were witness to, not only just what happened to you, but the trauma that you witnessed with your mother and your sister. So how do you— because I learned of trauma that is really psychological, right? That's like, that's like actually like they show it on scans. You could see the trauma. So how— where did that fit in? And how can you even overcome that kind of trauma?

Well, here's what I can tell you, that it has been a strange bedfellow with me for 46 years. 45, 46. I'll be 46 in February. Let's not rush it.

You're young.

Yeah, but just, just, just this year, 2020, just the part of the 2020 year, my wife and I actually took this journey together to begin dealing with those traumatic elements of my life that I really never got a chance to deal with. See, what did I tell you? Right out, right out of high school, I was leading a missions trip. Right from there, I was in the Marine Corps. Right from there, I was leading churches and organizations and, and had a great job and all this kind of stuff. So I never really— everybody has always expected me to look like this, but inside, I don't look nothing like this. Mentally, I don't look nothing like a three-piece suit cat. No, inside, it's a, it's a, it's a grievous war. And I, and I reflect on it often. I make mistakes because of it. I fall short Oftentimes, you know, in— because it's— I tag it along with me. And so, you know, my, my wife and I, we really didn't understand why some of this stuff was happening and why some of the struggles that I, I was having as a man, as a person, uh, that, that, that I was having. We realized that it was because I never once really gave full, um, voice to the trauma that I experienced. Now, I've done motivational speeches, obviously I mean, I don't tell all these details in a speech to an audience of kids. I don't give all these details to an audience of educators or pastors or leaders. Really, I just started giving voice to the full, you know, the full counsel of what went on, uh, with my wife in, in 2020. And it's been like an aha release, like, okay, this explains some of the struggles that you that nobody else knows you have. And the struggles are because, you know, you just were seen as this kid that overcame, but we didn't realize the damage that was done that you had to carry with you to each dispensation. Every, every area that I went to, it was like, okay, you're succeeding, so there can't be anything wrong. You know, you're doing well, can't you? Everybody picture-perfect marriage, you can't— there's nothing, man. And, and so even I was starting to question myself. Well, maybe I'm not what my foster mom said I was going to be, or maybe I'm not the great husband that I thought, or maybe I'm not the great dad. Now, I haven't brought any of those vile, debauched things into my marriage or into my— into me as a parent. I've never— I've not repeated any of that foolishness, but it's been other things that were, were peripheral elements that, that have caused strain on, on me as a, as a parent. And as me, on, on my wife as a, as a spouse, you know, why is this strain there? Well, the strain is there because I didn't really get a chance to deal with that.

But also then, so when I hear this story and I hear your story and I could see that you are right now doing well, but I get the trauma, where— how do you reckon with your, your father, your mother, your grandmother? Like, where does that come in where you Were you— did you try to kind of explain it away, or did you do research to know was that how they grew up? Like, what was going on with that, with them? And what goes on with just that kind— I don't understand. Like, is, is it just a lack of empathy? Is it what they're going through? What makes a parent hurt their own child?

You know, I've, I've, I've, I've tried to figure out the reason why all that stuff was happening. My dad was, uh was, um, a minister. He was a minister in a pretty large church there in Cleveland, Ohio, but he drank like a fish and he beat all of his wives. So you, you just talk about a product of, uh, you know, the cycle, the curse that, that continued. And then of course my grandmother would be, you know, she would be in her 90s now. So, uh, just think about that generation and then their parents and how they parented kids. And so I, you know, they're to some degree— even some of the things that my dad did, or even, you know, what my mom did, you know, it was ignored, it was overlooked, it was enabled by some in some circles. And so what I've had to do, one of the greatest things that I did, because I was bitter, bitter toward my mom, bitter toward my dad, bitter toward my grandmother— my grandmother's passed away My father has passed away and my, my mother is still alive. In fact, she lives in Charlotte, about 4 hours from me. Um, I had to forgive. Forgiveness is one of the most liberating, um, elements that we as human beings— sometimes we're shackled by the grasp of the hands of the clock of time. And, and we can't forgive. We hold on to things because we're— we feel justified, and rightfully so, you know. My siblings have scars even worse than mine because I, you know, like, I got out, you know what I mean? I— even though I was in the system, I got away from a lot of that stuff, you know, that they had to live their whole life through. And, and you can see the scars that they, that they bear in their conversations and stuff. But I've had to forgive. What I do not recommend though, and what I, what I will say clearly, is that forgiveness does not mean, um, that you have to approve. Forgiveness is not approval. You don't have to con— you know, like, though we would want a warm, loving, glowing relationship, and, you know, my kids have been raised without knowing their grandparents except for my, except for my wife's mom who, who passed away several years ago, that my kids may have seen their grand— you know, my mom 3 or 4 times in their life, in their life. And, uh, and, and they don't know their extended family. They, they don't. All they know is me and Charity. We're here in the South. We've been here. We got a great church. And that's that, you know, God has been the centerpiece of all of it. I don't think if I had a faith walk, I would be nearly as centered as I am, I think my faith is at the center of the fan and the blades are just the other things in life, but the center is truly my faith. And I recognize that. And so, but yeah, I had to forgive because I knew that I could not continue to carry that bitterness on. And I could not forgive my grandmother in the grave, forgive my father in the grave, and forgive my mother who's alive. But, you know, we still don't fellowship a whole lot. And, you know, and in fact, I recognize that because some of the scars that perhaps my mother is still dealing with from her childhood— it was a repeat cycle, okay? It was a— it was cyclic. What I saw, she saw, and so on. Um, that, that I, I've recognized that I've just had to keep distance from her because I think she's still dealing with her own scars. She's still dealing with her own pain, and I can't allow that negative energy to be influencing my world. So, uh, the greatest peace and happiness that I have is here with my family. And, uh, in spite of all the things that have happened, my faith and forgiveness and my family— faith, family, and forgiveness have been the three hallmarks of moving forward.

Okay, so now we've got your story and it makes me understand, realize the importance of being, um, a, a clear— that all of us, right? Because it's not like it has gone away as far as what's happening in this day and age. And granted, when you were growing up, there wasn't the internet, there wasn't the ability to get online and say, help me. There was no Facebook Lives, there was none of that. But there were, there were adults that could have stepped in and could have been a bit of voice. So how can we now, like, so here I am, I'm in Daytona Beach, I know that this is going on. How do I help my own community and be a voice? And how can one person be that voice to say, you could talk to me, I'm here for you, how can I help you?

One of the, one of the elements of our organization, the C.L. King Group Incorporated, uh, one of the things that we try to, one of the things that we try to do is we try to bridge the gap between those 5 areas that I saw were totally disjointed. That's why I formed the nonprofit that way. Uh, the home, the school, the community, the faith-based organization, and the individual child. Those 5, those 5 elements, those 5 pillars, um, they all are supposedly doing a mission, but they're all doing them, uh, independent of one another and not in support of one another. One of the things that I try to encourage people to do— someone says, well, you know, I can't reach 400,000 people like you, CL. And no, you can't, but you can reach one. The motto of my organization is impacting one life one day at a time. Sometimes people see me and they get caught up in thinking everything I do is big, but in reality, man, I go to the projects here in town in Jacksonville, and I'll go take care of one kid. I'll go deliver Christmas to one family. And really, that's, that's what, that's what our responsibility is as human beings. I feel like, you know, we have become more enlightened, but we have definitely become also more selfish. And, uh, that's what social media has done. Social media has made it about us. It's made it about me. That's what the, the art of the selfie— this is what I need to be out front. And truth of the matter is, is that they're— yeah, the truth of the matter is there are hurting people all around us, and we have to be— I'm intentional about it. I'm like fiercely intentional about wanting to make sure— I feel terrible if I, if a week goes by and I haven't thought about, called, picked up, went to see someone in need. And that becomes truly the lifeblood of my existence. Yeah, the great crowds and the nice— with your name on the marquee, all that's cool. That's a byproduct of the work I started a long time ago. But the true measure of what we do is the impacting of one life. So what can we do? I go to— I, I work with the Boys and Girls Club. One of the organizations I work with, the Boys and Girls Club, one of their struggles is they can't get volunteers. You know, one day I was— one year I was addressing a large body at, uh, I was a keynote speaker for the Martin Luther King, uh, celebration, and everybody thought I was going to come there and wax poetic about how, you know, how we've overcome. And I'm just like, uh, no, let me just tell you what we really have done is we've— we need to overcome being on the couch and watching Netflix. If I, if I talk to these people all the time who tell me, man, I want to help these kids, I want to help this community, I want to help the hungry, I want to help the hurting, but yeah, you don't ever do anything, you don't have anything in your rudiments that, that shows that you really want to do that. You might want to get on and lament on Facebook, or you might want to get on and lament on Twitter, but man, turn that off and go out there, and you won't have to drive 5.5 miles before you find someone that you can help. And that you can touch and that you can change. And so that's, that's what I feel like your, your platform is an example of that. Um, you know, I didn't want to be no podcast host. Why, why would, why would I form a podcast? I don't be a DJ. I want to have people in my home all the time. I mean, I gotta, I got strangers in my house all the time now, but the truth of the matter is it's a platform to help others. And, and man, that's what you're doing. You're getting the word out to others, man. Yeah, my message may not resonate with, with, uh, you know, 10 of your listeners, but it might resonate with one. And if I can encourage that one person to say, man, you know what, this is 2021, enough is enough, excuses are a mile long, I am going to go be the change I seek— that's what I say to everybody.

I love that. I will just share with you that my mom and dad really loved the Boys and Girls Club of Broward, and so maybe that's why when I saw— read the Boys and Girls Club, I thought of that. They had received, uh, right before my dad actually had a heart attack, and then my mom had passed right after he received a beautiful award from them being like godparents, some something. But they had, um, they had art gallery, so my dad wanted to always donate artwork, animation artwork, to all the kids. He wanted to give— actually, in his mind, he wanted to give every child in the whole wide world a piece of artwork, something that they can have and own and have value to, that, you know, with their favorite character. But, um, yeah, very, very beautiful. So the Boys and Girls Club is very important, and, um, you know, and even here in our community, we have a wonderful Boys Girls Club. And so I, I totally get that. But how— so what else? So now you have your programs. Are you teaching? Are you— are you— so how can I help? How can we help? How can Daytona Beach help you? Well, here's how we help our own kids in our own community, in our neighborhood.

That's true. And, uh, you know, I've, I've developed it because that, that's a, you know, the how-tos are very, very important. And I've developed several trainings that I utilize for young people and those who serve young people. Uh, one of them is called GEAR, G-E-A-R, and it's an acronym. It stands for, uh, various elements of helping young people get in gear. And then another one is called GRIND. And, and I utilize these trainings and teachings to help, um, organizations that serve kids and then help the— and also help the youth themselves. Uh, and so what I would say is, you know, our movement, uh, for impacting one life one day at a time is, is a collective. In other words, this is, this is part of how you helped me, um, by, by weaving me into your audience. Not because I need more airtime— I am booked more than I ever have been in my life. I don't need another appearance. But to get the message out that, hey, look, there you can make a difference in a life. And here's how, okay? Here's how. You think about what— you think about one area in your community that you would like to see made better. Think— just don't think about all of them. You can't change everything all at one time, but just think about one. My area happens to be the youth, okay? Because I know what it was like being a kid homeless on the streets of Cleveland. Your area may be women. Another person's area may be homelessness. Okay, the, the, the biggest thing is to get engaged. It don't have to be with CL King, though we'd love to have you. We got— we get sponsors and people sponsor our work, and we appreciate all of that. But you know, that, that's fine. But if it doesn't have to be connected to me, it can— it is— if it's connected to your heart and connected to your community then I say get engaged. Roll up your sleeves and get engaged. And if we, if we can get people to do that, man, I'm, I'm, I'm— I will of all men be most happy. I don't care about being famous. I care about being fulfilled. And, and that's what I, I feel we need to be fulfilled in life is getting engaged. I'm engaged in so much relative to pushing this conversation forward of overcoming adversity. That's my, that's my life's work. And so I would, I would say Daytona Beach can— and how you've helped is helping me get my message out that, hey, listen, if you know an organization or you know a school or you know an entity that, that has some— that will need a shot of B12— sometimes I'm called B13, I don't know— that needs a shot of B12 or needs someone to come in, and I'm not your typical motivational speaker, I'm not the you know, just put together. I jump off stages, veins popping out of my neck, sweat flying everywhere. It is an absolute event. Uh, C.L. King is not a speech, it's an event. But, but because you know what, I came into this world with that same type, type of violence, that same type of aggression. And so I can't go and whisper sweet platitudes to the ears of the kids and make the teachers think I'm so educated and, and all that so they cut me a check. No, because lives are at stake. It ain't just about what they hear me say, it's about their lives. And so if someone said, hey, look, CL, we would love for you to, you know, connect with us, all you gotta do is go to clkingspeaker.com and, uh, we can collaborate just like you and I are collaborating today. That's how you could help me. But what you've done is more than enough for us. I say now encourage your listeners to get involved and get connected and give you feedback on how they've done it.

Do the kids, do they want to speak about what's going on? So that, cause I'm not 100% sure the answer to that. And it's not so easy to find adults that give good advice or just will listen, to be honest with you, just to find an adult. So this day, and I have a 14-year-old daughter, so I have 4 kids. I have 37 2 tours in Afghanistan, a 32-year-old living in Shanghai, a 25-year-old living in Tucson, living his dream, and my 14-and-a-half, almost 15, daughter who is in high school, experiences all that drama, everything that's going on. But the kids, they don't want to talk, but they really do need to talk about it. How does— like, I don't, I don't understand that part. How do we help the kids to be able to find someone that they can speak to. And, and do you— can you— I think that would be a good thing to teach adults, not only just to roll up, but how to listen and how to be able to react accordingly. And I tend to ask way too many questions, and I like turn off the kids. I see that with my daughter's friends. She's like, you cannot like be asking that many questions. Without really thinking twice about it. And she's right, and I listen to her and say, okay, I'll put myself back, put the filter on. But what do you recommend?

Well, you know, this, this is a strange relationship, uh, adults and kids, uh, because recognizing that they are really— we're not raising kids, we're raising adults. Um, and I, I can just tell you from my personal experience, I, I have had to evolve even as a parent Um, though I was nothing like my parents, I, I surely could have been a lot better. And you're right in terms of, uh, engendering and inducing conversation and having more listening as opposed to, uh, lecturing— listening and lecturing. Um, but yes, some— the reality is, is that it's not for one exclusive entity. That's why I highlight those 5 that that I work with. That's why it's important for, you know, if I— if when I go into a community, oftentimes I'll look at the churches, I'll look at the community centers, you know, clubs, Boys and Girls Club, whatever. I'll look at those entities, I'll look at— I'll look at all of those entities, and I'll say, how many of these can I get to in my time here in town? Because the message needs to resonate throughout them all. But, but here, here's, here's the reality. You've got, you've got the church, you've got the school, you got the faith-based, you got the, you got the individual child, you got their parents. And it is the responsibility— it, it starts now. I know this is going to sound old and old-fashioned, it starts at home. I don't feel, um, I don't feel that homes— this is why I talk about the homes— I don't feel that homes are nearly as focused on the home as they are the house. See, we focus on— we got to make sure the mortgage is paid, and we gotta, we gotta run off here to soccer, and we got to do this, we got— we're all about doing, but we've forgotten what it is to focus on the home, the very people inside. And we create these artificial benchmarks for our kids that if, if they— if the strike— if the clock strikes 12 past midnight on their 16th birthday and they don't have their driver's license, then we failed as parents. No, no, no, that's not true. I got an 18-year-old that don't have his driver's license yet. That's okay, it's still my responsibility to cart that brother around. And I got an older daughter that takes him around too. If it's still the home— and me being home all the time has really, really illuminated the fact that, man, I'm, I'm way too busy pre-COVID. I'm, I'm— we're, we're eating way too many meals on the run and then Burger King on the drive-through and seeing everybody at 10 o'clock when everybody comes to from the Four Winds and gets home. I'm like, wait a minute, this is still— we're supposed to focus on the home, not just maintaining the house. And so I say it starts there, man. You— I, I challenged, uh, some— a group of young people not too long ago, this— and I challenged their parents and their home and the community. I said, we're going to do a techno turn-off night. And that was quite the— that was quite the feat, you know what I mean? We're saying, okay, we're gonna do a techno turn-off night.

We're gonna—

we're gonna do 24 hours of no technology. We're gonna volunteer as a family in, in our community. And, uh, that's, that's, that's the way I've, I've tried to raise my kids. It is really about the home. And, uh, and, and I don't ever want to usurp that. I don't ever want to— I trust— C.L. King can't trump the home. And I think sometimes organizations forget that, that it's still— even the church. I love the church, and we go to fam— we go to church as a family, but the, the, the ultimate hierarchy is God and then the family and then all the other things that, that we inject ourselves into. And if this piece isn't right If my home isn't right, all the other stuff, all the volunteerism and everybody else trying to pour into my life, it's going to mean a hill of beans. So, uh, it— I, I would hope COVID-19 has taught us to— it made us slow down. It made us slow down. We had to slow down. And, and whether— whatever, whatever people's, you know, flavor of feeling how COVID was, it was a huge blessing for for us, for this household. I can't speak for everybody else's, but it was a huge blessing for us because you know what it caused us to do? It caused us to slow down. It caused us to reflect on the home. And man, post-COVID, we close, we tight now. We talk all the time. We talk all day because I'm home all day. I'm all up— I'm home all the time. But there, there's moments I'll never miss again. Now obviously, listen, not everybody's dynamic is like mine, but you— I did it working too. You can still make your, your, your house a home. And so that's important to me. I don't necessarily have a silver bullet to answer your question, but I do think focusing on the home is, is where it starts.

I think that's a beautiful answer. I really appreciate that. And I know I've been able to work home. I sell logo merchandise, promotional products, like different things that appear, you know, straps, anything with a logo on it. Doing that for 35 years. I love it. But it really is important, especially what I found is that my daughter, she had a lot of friends whose parents were working, and so they were alone. And guess what they were alone with? I guess who they were inviting in their house. And my daughter and I, you know, she, she shares everything with me. So I was like seeing some of their— what's going on. I'm like, that is scary. So we— our children are our future. It does take a village. And but I always love the story about the starfish and the little boy and why, you know, what change can you make by just throwing one starfish back? So I love that, you know, we change one life. So that makes— that's—

you just said something pretty interesting though that I picked up. You just said something really good that I picked up on my psychoanalysis. That, um, you said my daughter tells me everything, and that is beautiful. Communication is powerful. And, uh, I would rather my son tell me, hey Dad, I'm struggling with X, Y, and Z, than for me to have to go bail him out of jail. And I say, well man, let's walk, let's walk through this journey together. And when you can get your kid to communicate with you See, and this is— listen, I'm not archaic. I'm, I'm technically and tactically proficient. I got a phone right up under me and everybody messaging me right now saying, when can you come do my thing? And I'm like, I'm ignoring y'all. But here's, here, here's what I will say is that though we have all of these, all of these accoutrements, these are not what have been designed to raise our kids. This ain't supposed to be raising your child. This is not an artificial babysitter for sitting around the table every now and then and finding out how folks' day was. I know that sounds like an absolute Stone Age concept, to sit down at the dinner table and actually eat. Yeah, I know that sounds Stone Age, but you know what, it works. And, uh, so that, that's— yeah, and, and that's, that's what you just said. Your daughter tells you everything. Is that's the sign of a healthy parental relationship. The home is strong, so you don't need C.L. King in your home. Um, I've got to go to somebody else.

So, and I'll let you go in a minute. The thing is though, in reality, I, you know, I, my parents were lovely. They worked hard, very hardworking. I don't recall the ability to really communicate with my mom, especially when I was a teenager, because she was working and building a business. They were entrepreneurs. And so I, I remember how I felt. And I remember that I really— it was never about, you know, I love going shopping and whatever my mom did for me. But I, I always felt my mom, you know, she gave me a cup, she would tell me not to spill it. So I was always like, you know, thinking I'm going to take the cup and I'm going to spill it. Guess what I did? I spilled it all the time because I, I— she was almost prepping me too with like the mindset, don't spill it. I would spill it. But I will tell you that everything that I learned that I didn't necessarily love as my mom and parenting, I don't do it to my kids. So I make sure— and I also had a child pretty much in every decade. So she was born when I was 44. So I started at 21, I had a child at 30, 40, and 50. So I also— we all change during that times, but I've been pretty flexible. But I always— I do— I have a wonderful relationship with all of my, uh, my 4 kids. Um, but anyways, I, I really— I know you have to go, and I really enjoyed speaking to you, and I am so glad that you reached out to me. I just