Superstar Guest Santeresa Wilson, Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, https://santeresaw.com/

There we go. Hello everyone. So happy— what are we today? Monday, March 8th.

Monday, yes.

Oh, amazing, amazing. So who is this beautiful woman that I'm looking at? Santeresa Wilson. Did I say your name correctly?

Yes, yes, Santeresa.

Santeresa. Oh, it's such a pretty name. Um, so is your name— are you named after a family member?

So the, so the joke is my mother— I was the last of her children, um, unplanned— and she was actually in the hospital watching the Family Feud. So I'm named after one of the contestants on the Family Feud that day. Yeah.

Yeah. Have you ever found that? Did you ever find who the contestant was?

No, I've been searching for the episode. I have not yet been able to find it, but we One day, hopefully.

Oh my gosh, that's worth actually writing to the producers to say that you really want to know who you were named after.

Do they win? I don't know, she didn't say.

I wonder if your mom just fell in love with the name or the person. That's so interesting.

I think it was just the name. She just was like, like, part of that name— it was my first name— was the, was the contestant off of the Family Feud. And then she gave me my middle name, was named after her Avon lady, which was her friend. So yeah, it just kind of was like a collaboration of names just kind of thrown together. And, uh, yeah.

Wow. So where are you located?

I am in New Jersey.

Oh, that's right, New Jersey. I'm a Connecticut girl.

Okay, okay, close, about 2 hours away.

Yeah, not too far away. I used to, when people would say they came from New Jersey, I would say, well, I'm sorry, but now I was young and I didn't understand how beautiful New Jersey is. And it's actually just a gorgeous state from every— you've got the beach to the— it's just so green and lush and beautiful with fun, fun, great theme parks. So, and Atlantic City.

Yes, yes.

I don't say I'm sorry anymore. Oh, it's changed. I want to go back just to see. It's changed. I heard some buildings have been imploded and some different things, so And they have the outlets there now. Oh yeah, the outlets. Oh, I see that. Yes, yes, yes. So tell me, so again, this is Candid Conversations. We just met, we haven't met before. I did Google because I wanted to learn a little bit about Satcherisa because I was curious, and I'm pretty wowed by what she does, but I want her— the bio was long and interesting and I would ruin it, so I'm going to throw it to you to really tell all of us who you are.

Yes, so my name is Santrisa, as you stated earlier. I am, I'm a mom of 3 from New Jersey. I am a certified trauma recovery coach. And so that means that through everything that I've gone through in life, I, you know, help other people to come through whatever traumas they may encounter. And when I say trauma, that really means that anything that disturbs your normalcy of life, right? Your normal way of living, whatever was your norm. Something has happened and you're traumatized by it in some type of capacity. So those are the people that I tend to work with. Um, I do do small business mentorship because I've been in the business field for over 20 years. And so what I've been learning is a lot of my clients has kind of been hand in hand, um, between dealing with some trauma and then on top of that, people who've been, I'm seeking out starting a business and they kind of deal with a lot of fear in regards to that. So, um, that's kind of summarize what it is. I have my background, my degrees in divinity. I am certified as a life and development coach. I am also certified as a volunteer mentor through Prison Fellowship International. And so, um, and then I just have like multiple, you know, you take different classes and things like that that kind of add on your knowledge of what you do.

So are you an author too?

I am. How can I forget, right? So I am, yeah. Like you say everything else, right? So I am, I'm an international author. Um, I actually, uh, was a part of an anthology a few years back, and I actually penned my own book, which is entitled Releasing My Secret, which is a 30-day devotional to support your healing process, which can be found, um, on Amazon or directly by contacting me. I'm also an international motivational speaker. I have spoken at events, um, all the way from Canada. I've spoken to people from the UK, um, also locally. I've traveled around speaking at various, um, different types of engagements. And recently I was contacted by a university, so we're going to see how that kind of pans out. So, which is located out in India, so I'm really excited. Um, just for all the great things. I was like, how can I forget that I'm an author, right?

Do you have your book, by the way, close to you? Is it in your, like, reachable—

I— not right now, but I could pull it out.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, I'd like to see. I like to— I don't know why, but I like to see physical books. So, all right, so first of all, it's interesting. This morning I woke up on Facebook, I read this woman helping woman entrepreneur, and they were talking about actually trauma coaches and someone wrote that if they were going to work with a trauma coach, they wanted a coach that had actually been through something, that had already dealt it because they felt that that person would be able to really respond to the trauma that they have and that they felt that someone who just received a coaching certificate from online, Udemy or any of those learning courses, couldn't compare to someone who actually lived through trauma and now is sharing what they've learned. What do you say about that?

I believe that is true. Um, so when I obtained my coaching certification— again, I'm certified as a life and development coach. I can coach anyone, any aspect, any area of their lives. That's what my certification trained me for. However, um, I love working with people who are actually have been through something. I am small more relatable. I can relate to your situation. I can be, you know, empathetic when need to be. You know, I could empathize with you. I can again relate. And then I'm also the coach that can push you along because I see sometimes some people like to sit and stay in whatever situation that they're in. So I strongly believe that it took me when I first became a coach, and I believe every coach should have a coach, let me say that. And so There's so many coaches out there. Like, everybody's getting certified to become a coach now. I think people see, whether it's dollar signs or whether they just see it's an easy opportunity, or they feel like they've helped somebody along the way, so now I'm a coach. And so, so many people are becoming certified coaches, right? And it's kind of like, okay, you're a coach, but what are you coaching? Like, what is your niche? Like, what is the thing that's passionate to your heart? And so my passion is really just helping people who have gone through something or they're going through something. A lot of times what I found, even through my sexual assault that I experienced, is that a lot of times we move forward in life but we never deal with those hidden issues, those hidden traumas, those things that we have gone through. And so because I had to deal with it and I came through it, hence here comes the book, and then also here comes my rebranded title as a trauma recovery coach.

I totally understand because I, I, you know, I, I have my own story and I find that I wanted to— first of all, I'm a certified business mentor with SCORE and I always tell people I'm not a coach. We're a mentor. We follow the mentoring rules, the guidelines. We're, you know, onboarded very carefully and we take it seriously, but it's completely different than a coach. I don't do the work either. And so I always make that clear no matter what room I'm in. That yes, we're free, but you, you need a coach. I need a coach. We all do. Like, it makes sense that coaches need coaches. So I love that you said that. Yes, but I can understand where— personally, I can understand where, where that wall is for me because of words that were said to me and still continuing to be said to me that are just said to me to just reduce me to the dirt in the ground, you know what I mean? And then that's really, really hard to come out of it. So I really get the need for it, it really does make sense. But do people realize, because I feel like there's a lot of trauma that people have experienced, but do they even say to themselves, well, this is the reason why I'm having trouble getting sales or asking for sales because of— because I can actually say it out loud now. I see a lot, you know, when you're called a loser. Often, it makes you feel like a loser. As much as I come out of it, it's still a trauma to me. It's still words that were said to me. I was emotionally and verbally abused, never physically. But I also feel that emotional and verbal has affected me. But I wouldn't realize it unless I really gave it thought. So I guess I want to ask you, how do people realize the understanding that the trauma before can actually affect their business and their growing of their business?

Not all the time. And so that's the process that we go through. We talk about it, we, we work through it, we, you know, we peel apart and peel back the layers, right, to get to the core of the issue. And sometimes, you know, I had, um, one person that I encountered and they had a, a issue with a male seniority, right? And so it— but that dated back to their childhood with what they dealt with back then. So it was hard for them to understand or even to process why they were struggling in certain areas. So a lot of times it's just to really have someone process it through with you. Because again, we say, okay, well, that happened when I was a kid. I'm older now. I can move forward. Or we put on the I don't care mentality, right? We act like we don't care, but words hurt. I think Pee Wee Herman used to say it all the time, right? Words hurt. And so when we understand that words are more impactful than sometimes than what we like to admit, then once we come to that realization, then our healing process can begin to take place. A lot of times we don't realize it. And it's like the things that were spoken to us when we were children, words are powerful. So I always say even to my children as I was raising them, be careful with what you say. Someone may say something to me even now and it'll be a text message, and I'll respond back and say, I'm processing what you just said, right? Because I don't want to speak out of my mouth words that I can't take back. We can say an apology, and I apologize, but those words were still out there, and they could still cause some type of, you know, effect on you. So definitely, yeah.

Well, that's interesting you just said that, because I could think, you know, many times I've said things that I wish I could take back, and things to my mom and dad that I, I wish I could take back. So even though I may have caused them trauma, it's still traumatizing to me. I'm still like— because you could have trauma by saying the words that you shouldn't have said.

Yes, yes, we do, right?

We could— that could really, that could really hurt us. Yeah, I think it's so important to do this work, and especially before you start your business so that you don't have any issues. I love that. So your website is interesting, so I wanted to kind of go over it if you don't mind. So you offer It's pretty, all the pictures are beautiful, and then you offer— so you have the consulting, right? So I pulled it up but I don't have it in front of me. So tell me about your website. So people go to your website, which is listed right there, very easy to see, santarisa.com is our site. How is that? Your website is— I have it right here.

Santarisa.com.

Oh wait, did I do it wrong? Oh yeah, SantaRisaW. So what's the W stand for?

Wilson, my last name.

Oh yeah, okay, silly me. I saw the S-A-W and my mind was like, saw— oh, I had that happen last week too. I saw something and read it completely different. Anyways, tell us about your website. So when you go on your website, what would I find?

So when you go on my website, it just, it gives a bulleted point, uh, thing about me that it talks about my bio. Um, it talks about the services that I offer, which is, um, the coaching, of course, the mentorship, um, whether it's individual, group counseling. We do do virtual depending on where, um, you're located. I may— we may have an in-person socially distanced session. And so, um, I do events, you know, I've spoken at different events. A lot of my calendar is on there. And then I also keep on there like my past events that I've, I've been a part of. I also do a YouTube— I do a Facebook group where we kind of journey through my book, um, through, through the 30 days together. We go through the book. I've recorded those sessions and I've uploaded that onto my website as well. As I normally go live, um, because I am a trauma recovery coach, I love to have conversations with people to deal with issues or subjects that can be impactful to people. So we normally go live once in a while, and those videos are also listed on my website, which will take you to my YouTube channel.

Yeah, I love it. You branded yourself— yes, you branded yourself very nicely. And that, that's what it was in your website, the coaching. I love that you had it. Your prices are very fair and reasonable, and I thank you for that. You know, I've seen some people charging up to $8,000 for for coaching and that's very expensive. But I love the fact that you also have the group coaching and make that very easy. So yeah, that's what it was on your website that impressed me is that you make it very, very easy. You give it steps. You know what it is? It's because you— it's like a business site. You're smart. You're not only a coach but you're a businesswoman so combining together your website makes sense.

Thank you.

Do you do your website or is someone else doing it for you?

I do my own website for right now. I do.

It looks great. Are you— I do all my own websites. You know what? I like doing it because, A, if I want to make a change, I could do it right away, and B, it adds to what we want to learn. And like, so, so a lifelong learner.

Yes, yes. And it was a, it was a lesson. So when I speak to my small business owners, it really was to show them that, listen, hey, you don't need— you can start a business on a small budget, right? And so that's what I wanted to show them. Like, you don't need all the time— sometimes people jump like head in and then they're so overwhelmed because they're trying to get everything all at one time, and it's a process. And so when you learn that it's a process and you take those steps, then you're able to, you know, accomplish greater. You have to, you know, again, it's steps that we have to take. So, you know, for me, I love coaching. I believe that I was born to coach, I was born to mentor, and that's what I do. I don't have to overcharge for that because you still get the same quality that you would get from someone who was charging you in the thousands of dollars, right? It doesn't take away from the quality, it makes it affordable so that you who need the help can get the help.

I love that, I love that. Thank you. Yes, because that is— because you when you're starting a business, you're strapped for everything. And that is why I really do SCORE, just because I know how difficult it is. And though, you know, again, we're, we're not a coach, but just getting people through to understand the importance of a business plan. Sometimes it's just as simple. Actually, I noticed in the last 2 weeks, most of my mentoring has been just encouragement to just say, yes, you have a good idea. Yes, you could do this.

Yes.

And, you know, just a bouncing off of their idea. But really, I'm like, they got this. They, they They can go run, run right now and go, because, you know, so I love that. I want to ask you about— first of all, I do love— I mentioned it to you that— so you had some pictures taken, and so the photographer was— show me, tell me about that, because it's so intriguing. I love all the pictures of you. I just love you. So show me—

I actually found my photographer on, um, on Instagram. And so, you know, we made an appointment and I went in to take pictures and he does a fabulous job. I believe he gave me over 100 pictures and we just take— go away with the pictures. Like, he just is phenomenal. It's a phenomenal experience. He puts on music. He allows me to do unlimited clothes changes, outfit changes. So I am really excited. Check him out. It's getmygoodside.com. And you'll see, oh, my photos, they're always archived there, so I can always go back and retrieve a photo. I don't have to worry about I didn't download them all or clouding up my space. Everything that he has is, is in his space.

So good for him. Shout out to him. A good niche, very niche that he did that. I love it. Are you on Clubhouse?

I am on Clubhouse. I am new to Clubhouse, but I am on Clubhouse. I'm so excited. I have some events. I just went live. I was on the speakers platform on this past Friday, um, so I'm really excited and looking forward to doing more on Clubhouse, um, and more events and things like that.

So yeah, so Santa Lisa, could— would you, would you help me? Um, so I actually opened up Business Essential Skills, and so Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursdays at 9 o'clock. If I find you, can— and if you have time, well, let's— I'll just do it right now if that's okay. If you're not on Clubhouse, everyone, you really, you really should go on. Let me find you right now. So it's your full name? S-A-N-T-E-R-I-C-E.

It's under Coach Santrice Wilson.

Oh, I see. Okay, let's find you. And then I want to ask you— so everyone, Santrice, while I'm doing this, can you explain what, what, um, tell everyone what Clubhouse is? Because still there's people out there that don't know about this wonderful platform.

Now, now, from what I read, unfortunately it's only available to iPhone users right now. Um, but Clubhouse is a platform where you go on, it's a great networking platform. You could get out there, you could talk about what you do, talk about your business. Again, it's great for networking, great for information. Um, you can connect with people, but I believe it's just mostly they give you like their social media information that's listed in their profile. For you to reach out and connect with them through there. I've met some great people, uh, through Clubhouse. Um, a lot of times the speaker platform, depending on what platform you're on, they'll give you like a couple of seconds just to kind of introduce yourself. What I would say is always have a quick 30-second elevator introduction because that's about all the time that you get when they invite you onto their platform. But it's a great networking tool.

All right, so I'm going to ask you— okay, so I'm going to ask you, would you like to mod with me tonight? Mod means moderator. Kind of really being a facilitator. That's not to you because I know you know, but to everyone else. Um, so, uh, 7 PM I'm doing Women in Leadership Conversation.

Okay, would you—

I could add you. Okay, beautiful. Tomorrow morning doing Create at 9 AM our time, doing Creating a Great Webinar. Could I add you?

Let me just double-check my schedule before I lock in, but I could pop in if I'm—

if Okay, I would love— because I love to mod some rooms with you. We both have the same, uh, business skills, so I love that. And then Wednesday morning, doing a little something different, virtual team building and management. So we're doing more work— more not like workshops, but more business related. I'm just, you know, when I go on to Clubhouse, I just tend to go to the, the business rooms. They're not— once in a while like karaoke, because not a lot of people have a great voice either, so I can find that room. Karaoke. I have, I have a teen, so I'll go into teens. So I'm going to send you— by the way, just so everyone knows, it took me 3 seconds. Not only connected with Santa Teresa on Clubhouse, but I'm following her on Instagram and Twitter. That's how fast this platform is. And it is— we did, um, build your personal brand. I actually had a personal brand is key, let's unlock your secrets, and we kind of did a SWOT analysis. It was fun. Maybe it was almost like too much to do, so we did a little feedback so I could learn how I did because by no means am I an expert, but it's definitely enjoyable. Even knowing that you're helping one person can make your day.

Yes, definitely, definitely.

I love that. I'm so glad we're connected that way too because there's also opportunities for great podcasts. I mean, it's fantastic. Oh, you know what I want to share with you? There are some Clubhouse groups that are great, like Clubhouse Entrepreneurs. Network. And so when you go on Facebook, if you click— if you type in Clubhouse, you'll see different groups that you could join too. And that's another fantastic way to promote yourself, to say hello, and to promote your rooms.

Okay, cool. I have to look once for that because I'm in the podcast, you know, be a guest, find a guest room. So I'll definitely look into that. Yes.

You know what's funny is today when we were talking about threats, the personal branding and threats, there everyone said Clubhouse. That it wasn't a threat, it was a threat more start to like, like lack of sleep, the, uh, and I don't have this, I don't have fear of missing out, I'm fine. Like, you know what I mean? I don't feel like, oh my gosh, if I'm not on Face— on Clubhouse, I'm missing something extraordinary. As a matter of fact, when I'm on Clubhouse, it reminds me of being on a cruise ship and that you have the cruise director guiding you into the room. And yeah, I feel like sometimes like, like a cruise director would make a great moderator. I don't know why, but it's like you have all these rooms, like you have the calendar, what you could do at a cruise, you got all these different areas you could go in And yeah, you know, it's a wonderful platform.

It's a wonderful—

it really is.

You can get a little caught up because there's so many people are creating so many rooms and so many things. And then I like the leave quietly button where you could just kind of ease out the room, you know. So I, I appreciate the platform, definitely.

It's neat. I feel guilty when I leave if there's a little people in the room. I actually— I created some of my profile and I added like, be right back, have to go. Yeah, I have another one that says, uh, 'Check me out, don't pass my bio.' Just stand out a little bit more. It's so nice to you. I, you know, this is why social media is important. You know, I was teased a lot when social media came out about 10, 15 years ago. Oh, Adrienne, I still hear, 'Oh, you, you love social media,' like it's like an awful thing. But it's not an awful thing. It's a great way to get a message out if you've got a great message or you want to share or add value to someone's life. I Just got off a mentoring call with a SCORE client, which I was thrilled to help her and continue helping her from Clubhouse. So we all have so much value to add in the world, and if social media helps us— I mean, it's not like we could write a letter in the paper and, you know, get it printed out 2 weeks from now and someone's going to call us. This is what's hot and new, and everyone, you know, it's not for everyone. I don't mean everyone, but, you know, if you like it— my parents were 90 and learning Facebook, and my dad's twittering at 91, so You know, is that like an age issue?

It's very, um, social media could be so beneficial, and I know sometimes people look at it as being negative, and it's really what you make it. And so I always say, you know, utilize it for how you need it, like what it was created for, right? So I know my dad, uh, prior to passing, when my mom passed 11 years ago, he got on Facebook Facebook, and my dad was disabled, but he was able to communicate and see the kids' pictures. And, you know, he couldn't get out with us, but we were able to go live and FaceTime and video chat and things like that. So it has its plus sides. And then I've met some great people through social media. I met my mentor through social media, you know. And so it's kind of like, you know, utilize it for what you can. Look at the— always, you change your perspective. Perspective, right? Take out all the negative things and think of all the positive things that you could do for it, from it. You know, we're all— we're created to be helpers of one another, we're created to help one another. And so use that. Like, you're not a loner, you're not alone. You know, you have tools out there other than Google and people out there other than Google who's able to help you out, you know.

So I love that, I love that COVID-19 actually really helped to, to really get social media kicked up enough where a lot of times in just the senior centers, that's what people had. I want to ask you one thing before we go. So what I noticed on Clubhouse, and I understand it, I don't have myself wrapped around it a lot, but this whole mindset, mindset mastery, mindset mornings, mindset afternoons, you know, putting it out there, you get what you get back. I'm only 59 or 58, I'm not even 59, why am I saying 59? Rewind. 58. 58. I look great.

You do look wonderful.

Is it, is it maybe my age that I'm a little older? Because I get it, I understand it, I'm not being negative about it, but I'm not able to embrace it as much as maybe those that are 10 years younger than me. Or am I just— I don't know, I just, I guess I want to hear from you, like What do you feel? Is that part of what you deliver is mindset?

No, I mean, it's like this new age energy thing that people have going on. For me, I mean, it's the old sayings of what people used to say, right? It's just taken and I guess bumped up a little bit or worded different because there's nothing new under the sun, right? And so for us, it's You know, some people would say karma, what goes around comes around. Some people say watch what you say. You know, if you say something enough, you're going to see it manifest. I mean, that's even dated in the— and written in the Bible, right? You can have what you say. There's life and death in your tongue. It's, you know, things that you say. So when you— you know, the Bible also teaches us that faith cometh by hearing, right? So whatever you're hearing is going to build up to what you believe in. So a lot of times, like, they're talking about, you know, say it, the affirmation, say the energy, but it's the same thing we've been saying over. They're just delivering it a little bit different with a a little twist on it, right? So I like to keep it simple, keep it plain. And for me, it's really just, you know, what are you saying about yourself that you're— because the more you say, the more you're going to convince it to yourself. It's going to be more convincing. You know, if you're telling, speaking negative to yourself and you're telling yourself it's gonna be a bad day, it's gonna be a bad day, eventually as you progress through your day, you're not going to see the good in the day, the good of I just woke up, the good of, okay, well, this didn't work out, but what's the lesson that I have to learn I get, you know, from going through that? Or what's the lesson for me to learn? Maybe it was just, you know, for you to learn patience. Maybe it was something just, you know, just to teach you how to look at somebody in a different light, right? Because we have to understand, I'm not walking in this life alone. Everybody's walking through it. Somebody else may be having a bad day and not me. So if they stepped on my toe, it may not have been intentional. So I'm not going to let that ruin my day, right? So I just really believe that, yes, we do set the tone in the course of our day. Based on how we perceive things. And so if you're— if your perception is always negative, you're never going to see the good side of things. You know, people embraced COVID as just this horrible— it was, it was horrible, was horrific. It was something that we all experienced, we all went through. But what was the good that came out of us being able to actually sit down, spend time with our families, relearn ourselves, relook over our, our, our visions, you know, finally get to the doctors that we've been avoiding for the past year. Right, you know, and just to kind of reevaluate our lives. And again, for me, it's just how you— how do you perceive things?

Oh, I just— I just fell in love. I, I just literally fell in love. Your answer is so beautiful. It reminds me of, um, the old saying, misery loves company, and that person that's always miserable, and then they make everyone else around you miserable. And, and I— and, you know, maybe, maybe I have a hard time with it because I naturally just wake up Grateful. And I go to bed grateful. And I— my daughter has 3 boys, so I actually, I got pregnant at 44, so I'm 58 with a 14-year-old.

Wait, can you feel a little sad? We can have a conversation. I have friends who are older who think that it's too late, and I believe that that can help them out.

Oh, that's so interesting. It really is great. But what I would say to Alana often, because she has trouble making friends, she was never that easy with making friends, and I would say, you gotta find the good. There's good in everyone. So there's good in everyone, love everyone. All right, I'll let you go. And, uh, oh, Blue Solo Cup, you fill me up though. Yes, I love talking to you. I am so excited to have a new friend, and I'm happy to have you.

I'm gonna go back and refollow you back on— I've seen a notification pop up, so I will be right there with you, and I'll be one.

All right. Oh my gosh, thank you. Yes, um, 7 o'clock. 9 o'clock is nap time, bedtime.

Okay, yeah, okay, 7 o'clock. I'll put that in my calendar.

Oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna add you anyways. Yes, I will, I will do it right now. You are awesome. Thank you everyone. Thank you for your time. Oh, I'm so glad we did this. I'm gonna close this off. You are awesome.

Thank you.

And, um, oh, so get, get