Superstar Tina Collura, SeeYourselfGrow.com shares incredible real life tips on positive thinking

about what the other person's doing. So I got a little bit— where are you located?

I'm in Ontario, Canada.

Okay, I just— so you know, because I have a tan, I'm in Florida, and that's okay. You'll get your tan soon, probably August. Oh, so beautiful up there though. I love it. All right, it's taking— okay, beautiful, we are live! Hi everyone, I am so excited. Okay, so Tina, this is so cool. So first of all, Tina wasn't expecting to go live, but I said too bad. Now everyone knows that this show is like, it's so candid, I'm not going to say, I'm the opposite of everyone else. There's no set schedule, we don't talk beforehand, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But today, just like everyone else, I'm feeling overwhelmed and working for myself, and so I looked today to who I was speaking at 6:30 and then I I did Google Tina because I wanted to know, and I'm like, oh my gosh, this seems to happen every single time I have a candid conversation. The person that I'm speaking with is someone that I need in my life, and I thank you, my guard. I do have great guardian angels. So Tina, tell us about yourself. Tina Collier is here, and you look at— well, all what she does because it's pretty amazing, and I love her clean— I call it soap website because it just looks so clean. So go check out See Yourself Grow. Tina, Tina, tell us who you are. Tell us about you and your vision for all of us.

Oh my gosh, Andrea, I'm so thankful to have met you through networking event. You know, again, I'm all about like attraction and the law of the universe. So I believe that we come and go into each other's lives for a reason, right? So hi everyone, my name is Tina Kouloura. I am from Ontario, Canada. I am very pale. It's still a little chilly up here, but Andrea assures me she's sending me some sun, so I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, so I'm an award-winning productivity coach, Andrea. I've been coaching for over 15 years now, and I just, I love helping people unravel, you know, what is blocking them. I help them. I see things for people that they don't see for themselves, and I get excited I get more excited for, for people who have brilliant ideas, but they're just so in their own way. And I started this business not knowing where it was going to take me, but I realized how much I loved helping people grow and achieve goals, set goals, and then see the success on the other side for them. So I, like I said, I've done sales coaching, business coaching, personal coaching, group coaching, motivational speaking, so taking it whichever way it goes.

I love that. I, you know, so I've never had a coach, but I had a lovely friend named Pat, and Pat Nauer passed away in a horrible car accident about a month ago or so, but Pat would talk with me and she understood like that need of like getting out from me what it is that I wanted, and she did feel that I donated a lot lot of my time and that I wasn't making money. And she would be like, you need to make money, you need to make money, how are you monetizing it? So she was so amazing for me. And I just have to share this crazy story. So I was on— first of all, how we found out that Pat passed away was from the president of the chamber, who to me has so much strength and courage. I just want to share everyone the story. I literally— what I feel like when I'm on my deathbed, I'm going to thank this woman. She called everyone that she knew that really loved Pat and had a relationship with Pat, she called everyone to let them know because she didn't want them to read it on Facebook. But the crazy thing is, when she called me, she didn't know that when my father passed, my son who lives in Arizona, he found out from Facebook because someone couldn't wait to share that my father passed away 3 hours after he passed. And so this woman, it took all that, you know how you scream right away and you're crying, and she absorbed all of that. So Lourdes is a— is this whole Volusia Hispanic Chamber, they're just all heroes. And anyway, so, so Pat would say to me, monetize, monetize. So I'm on Clubhouse and I'm talking on Clubhouse. I love the app Clubhouse. And I'm communicating and I'm telling them about SCORE and the things I do for volunteer. And all of a sudden, when I'm done speaking, the moderator says, Adrienne, I don't know, this is really weird. I wrote something down. It's not even like something I would write. She wrote— I wrote 'You need to make money,' and then there's like 3 exclamation marks. She's like, 'I wouldn't even know, like, this is not even— I don't even know why I wrote this.' And I just knew right away. I'm like, 'Oh my gosh, I think it was Pat talking.' Like, I don't know how that works, but I definitely have a guardian angel. I've had the craziest weekend, but this weekend I give gratitude because everything fell in line. Like, it was a— like, someone could look at it and go, 'Oh my God, what a horrible weekend you experienced, this traumatic things.' But no, I did it. Experience, but how it was presented to me and how I was able to lift up was because of my whatever. I don't even know what, what is that. And not that we can rely on that, but is it okay to use that sometimes as we see ourselves grow?

Oh, absolutely. And you know what, you got to look at every opportunity. You got to look at— I don't, I don't see things as, um, a negative. I, I have a very positive attitude Adrian, and I think that's what has helped me along the way. So I always say to my clients, and I say it to my kids, when you wake up in the morning, you have two choices. You have the choice to be in a good mood or you have the choice to be in a bad mood. I always choose a good mood, right? You could choose to sit there and listen to people complaining, or you can point out the positive side of life. I always point out the positive side of life. Right? It's just, it's just how I'm wired, you know? And, and by doing all of that, it's really hard for me to stay in the negative. And I'm always looking at what are the roots, right? When you look at a tree, what are those roots that are helping that tree grow, right? What are your beliefs? What are your values, right? What is instilled in you? Because if that is not good, then that tree is not gonna grow, right? And so sometimes you're gonna uproot that tree and move it to a different patch of grass, right?

That's it. So my daughter experiences anxiety, and she has said that my being positive is difficult for her. And I question that for other people that experience anxiety and you have someone saying, oh, but, 'cause I was outside and it was a very gray day and I saw the beauty in the gray, and she's like, Mom, like, like there's something wrong with you. Yeah, so sometimes that positivity or that really bubbly person that comes in every day bouncing up and down, hi, like Tigger— why is it that we annoy someone? Like, I'm not sure I understand that connection of the positivity, but yet you can annoy someone to like know it.

You know what, Andrea, it's, um, it's basically understanding that we're all different. We are not all at the same level of understanding of our own selves. Okay. And we have to be accepting of where others are. Right. My husband is that guy. He's the opposite of me. Okay. So, but he can't help it. He can't help, you know, take on my positivity, not to the same extent as me, but when he sees me, you know, giving high fives to my computer all day, He's like, really? And I'm like, yeah. And we have dance parties at my house, you know what I mean? So we pump up the positivity by pumping up the energy. But if he knows it's not for him, he will not step on my parade, right?

He will—

he'll acknowledge that, okay, you're having a great day, I'm not, and I'm okay with that. So we have to accept where we are. One thing that I do with him and my family is we always ask each other what worked, what didn't work, and what can we do better.

Oh, I love that. I, I don't know how we met. I'm trying— let's— I have to figure it out. You are so— I love you. I feel like you're like a soulmate. What, um, first of all, I'm going to ask, like, what, what month were you born?

January.

Oh, which— I don't know why there's like a connection of how you think. And, and, and so are you part of Women's Prosperity Network?

Yes.

Oh yeah, love you, Trish.

Love you, Trish.

Inspiration Everyone at WPN. Oh, that's such a great group.

Yes, yes. I literally just joined this month, Andrea, and, and so I'm looking forward to all the possibilities of meeting wonderful people like you and, you know, seeing how we can help each other grow. That, that's the wonderful thing about being in a community where we're all there to help and support each other, right? So, and this is what I do for my friends and family, right? So when I did this exercise, Andrea, my husband and I were at a low, right? Like during COVID if there's any couples out there that did not fight, then they are not being honest with each other because he and I, we had a moment. But you know what? Our love was so strong that it— and I sat down, I sat down with a blank piece of paper and I started drawing these lines. He's like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm figuring shit out. I go, give me a minute. And so I literally captioned every area of my life, work, as a mom, as a wife, as a boss, what's working, what's not working, what can I do better? And then I shared it with him and he's like, you know what? He's like, this is awesome. He's like, I'm going to use it. I'm like, you are? He's like, I am. I go, really? I go, you, because he's like, don't talk to me about your positivity bullshit. Don't try to brainwash me with all that positivity. But this, this one made sense to him, right?

So is this your assessment? Is this what—

No, no, that's a different thing. Oh yeah. So the assessment that's on my website, it's basically what I call the circle of life. And every quarter, so once a quarter, I assess myself on the circle. How I'm doing emotionally, physically, mentally, right? And spiritually, because those are the 4 quadrants of life.

And one more time, one more time, just say it one more time.

Yeah. Physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental.

Okay, thank you.

4 quadrants of life. If one— look, if you think of those as like 4 tires on a car, Andrea, and one of those cars is deflated, that car is not going anywhere. And your life is the same thing. So if you're not taking care of yourself, I'm not saying to the max, but you gotta assess, you gotta, you gotta reflect on what's working, what's not working, what can I do better.

So how does that assessment work? So I go on your site and then I'm taking the assessment and then, and then booking a call with you, or what am I finding out?

Yeah, so you, you do assessment, you rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10. And then usually what I say to my clients, I'm like, let's focus on the bottom 3. And then you do the assessment, you can book a call with me, and I can help you start planning out the different activities you could do to start elevating yourself and, and creating balance in, in all areas of your life. Because what tends to happen is we focus so much on one area that we forget the other stuff. Wow. And then what happens then starts— things start going bad in that area of your life. So if you could start just taking care of a little bit at a time, and my husband taught me that, like, he's like, you know what, you're focusing too much on this and you're not focusing on me. I'm like, oh, like, okay.

There is— there's something about you that's so— right away it radiates this likability factor that you have And because, because, so because a lot of people, you know, it's— I am on Clubhouse app and I like it. I'm not like crazy. I'm not on it like all day or night, just so anyone thinks I'm out on that. But like, I actually do, like, if I wake up in the middle of the night, or sometimes like I like to— I, I know what's going on right now is I can't— my brain won't settle down even with the sleeping pill. And so in order to stop myself from thinking, I have to listen. And so, and then sometimes I like listening to the music and stuff, but then I feel like, well, I'm not learning something. And then I'm in this pattern. That's why I'm like, oh, it's so funny because what you're offering, because I feel like I have to learn every minute and this is like driving me crazy. But yeah, I cannot stop. And so I'll go on the app, but they were having a conversation about like how certain coaches are like, they don't have the knowledge and they don't know. And a lot of people are on Clubhouse and you have to vet them. But I could tell right away just from the first few words you're saying, I'm like, oh, okay, you have something like Tina, you have, you, you, you seem like you really know. So where is this coming from? Is this like, did you take a class or you just— this is how you were born and you— when did you realize you would actually be good in this business? I guess that's what I want to ask.

Okay, so for me, I worked in corporate for 21 years. And when I became a people leader, that's when I realized how much I loved coaching. And a lot of my colleagues, when I would talk about our coaching sessions, they didn't have the same excitement that I did. And I'm like, wait a second. I'm like, it's 80% of your job. I'm like, how could you not love coaching? And so then I got introduced to The Secret, got introduced to the law of attraction. I'm like, you know what? I need to find a course that's going to teach me how to run a business and how to learn about the laws of the universe and all of that. So I got certified in 2008.

Wow. That's a long time ago.

With the Quantum Success Coaching Academy, Christy Whitman. And love her, love the program. And I got to tell you, Andrea, when I took that program, I thought I was going to take it to learn how to run a coaching business, but it ended up fixing me as a person. Like I was, I took everything that I was learning and, and applied it to myself so that I could apply it to others, right? And then the coaching business, you know, that part of it, I just went with the flow. I started doing corporate group coaching. I started teaching at one of our school district boards when I was on maternity leave. I started taking my message of positive thinking, future visioning, and the power of goal setting to kids. I started doing talks at elementary schools, right? So I've just taken it on so many different paths, but my— where, where this all comes from is, is me. Right? How I've helped myself grow, how I've helped others grow around me, and just seeing the, the results of others' success has driven me.

Yeah, I love talking about this because I am the woman that needed a coach. I needed— in 2008, I wouldn't even have known that coaches existed. Honestly, I don't even— I mean, it feels like a lifetime ago, it feels like it's only been the last few years that coaches have been a discussion. To me, all you had a choice of was like a therapist to really talk to, and that a coach or a gym coach— like, so it's so funny to me, like, I— like, because I am the female, the woman that growing up in a family business, even now I still need coaching. It's so difficult because I So the steps I've taken to kind of help myself is to understand my personality, and I recognize that I'm like a helper. So in the Enneagram and all those— so, and that is, that's a problem because being a helper means I'm always, I say yes way too much, but I love helping. I am so weird that like I want to help people on, anyway, like LinkedIn. I'm like, oh, I'll, please connect with me so I can help you.

You're a people pleaser.

Yeah, and that is really a very tough way to be, and it's tough for my siblings, don't understand it. It is part of my learning about servant leadership too, because as a servant leader, I see, I want employees to be in the best position they are in, I want clients to get the best service. I believe, you know, for a while before I could control myself, I would feel like I needed to school people. Like, is that really the way you want to call me up on the phone to try to sell me? Let's talk about different ways that you could sell to me. This is how, and I'm like, No, that's creepy and weird. So part of what you're doing really does work if the person also understands themselves, or do you need to really know who you are?

You know what? I work with many different kinds of people, and what I'm finding, Andrea, is they'll come to me for one reason, but then we'll unravel other reasons, like blockages that they're having, just this This past weekend, you know, I'm working with an artistic entrepreneur and she's like, you know, she's like, I don't know what my vision is. I don't know what my mission is. She's like, I don't even— I'm like, well, I'm like, let's, we gotta start somewhere. Because I asked her, I'm like, what are your big 3 goals for this year? And she's like, I have no idea, right? So if you're not clear on the goal or the vision, right, or who you are, you got it. That's where you got to start. Right. And I started doing vision board webinars. Yeah. So I started doing them in person, and then when COVID happened, I started doing them online. And so now I call them Vision to Reality because that's what it all starts from. Right. Everything starts with a thought. And if you're the type of person who can't have a minute to themselves to really be comfortable, to be alone with your own thoughts, then that, that, that's a problem right there.

So I feel like I do think, I just feel like at night it's like I'm done. Like I do give, I don't know, maybe I don't. Oh, that is why I really, and what do you do when you know that you are in front, because my parents passed away, there's a big estate dealing with that now, and I know I could already feel the stress because with my siblings, because they— we can't communicate together because they see me as a big bully. I like— they see me as someone who I truly— I don't see myself as a bully. I don't— I like to be open. Maybe I am. If anyone could tell me and you see me bully, I just don't know. But when you're consistently trying— I don't understand. Even if I was, what's the benefit of telling me all the time? Wouldn't there be a benefit— this is where I'm a helper— of helping me to not be so In a lot of my communication where they just throw things at me, I'm thinking, "Boy, but if you really cared, wouldn't you want to say to me, 'Adrienne, here's what bullying looks like. Here's how you make me feel and let me understand you'?" And there's none of that. And so that right there is going to give me like gray hairs because I know it's expected and I don't know how to handle a lot of the stress. And then day-to-day, so being a helper, like wanting to— How do we say no? My girlfriend wrote to me this morning. She's like, you're just going to have to start saying no. And I'm like, ooh. And then of course, the next thing I'm like, well, do I want to be chair of this group? And I'm like, no, Adrian, stop it. I need something to control myself.

You know what? This is what I talk about, the people pleaser in all of us, right? We all have it. It all starts at a very young age, Adrian, where as children we want to please our parents or teachers, right? Or our bosses or our our spouses, or our kids. So we have this in us, but there comes a time where you have to realize there's a fine line between helping and being taken advantage of, right? Or being taken for granted. So what I say to, to my people pleasers out there, you really need to start asking yourself, am I saying yes because this is really something that is going to benefit me Or am I saying yes because I don't want to disappoint this person? Right. So you really got to understand the why. Oh, I know you're breathing heavy. Is that okay? You make me think. Wow. Yeah. And you just got to take a step back when before we're too quick to say yes. And you know what, Adrian? The hardest thing for us is to say no. So you gotta stall with the yes. So you know what, let me take that away. Let me think about it, right? Can you just give me a minute to sit on that before you jump into the yes? Or you know what I mean?

Does that make sense?

I do.

I love your advice. I think that makes sense. What I notice is I say yes, I do wanna really do it. The problem is the day when it comes, it's like, oh my God, why did I say yes? I'm tired. I got work to do. I've got, oh, the deadline. Like, so that is where I'm finding the product. The problem is, is that is that I want to say yes, I want to do it. When I do it, I'm thrilled that I'm doing it, I'm happy to do it. But it's also like nobody knows that like those 2 hours I spent, I actually have to make it up. Like, and even though I work for myself, I'm a freelancer and I sell promotional products, I work for Halo Branded Solutions. And this is sponsored by promoindustry.guru, which is me actually. But, but the reality is, you know, Often I'm saying yes to something that's actually costing me money because I'm taking my time away. But yeah, I am happy that I'm doing it too. So that is— I don't, I don't get to a point where I'm like, this, the doing it sucks. It's more the getting away and having to. But once I'm doing it, I'm really happy about doing it. So that's why it's harder to say no, because there is some pleasure.

Yeah. And you got to find that balance and only you can, you know what I mean? You got to really start identifying, right? And mastering your time, where your time is being spent. And to your point, the value, right? So how much value, how much time, and what is the return on investment to me? Right? Because in the end, you are one person. Right? And I know that you have a big heart, I can tell, and that you want to help so many, but you really need to start identifying with who you are and what it is that you want to accomplish.

Before we go, could you go back and explain to me, so what, what, what, what is the recipe that makes a people pleaser? Like, how does that happen? Is it from— you were saying, was there something that may have happened?

Well, yeah, I mean, you know what, it's, it's almost very natural to, to be a people pleaser from a very young age, right? As, as a small child, you're pleasing your parents, right? You're always looking to please them and to make them happy. Then we get into school and we're there to please our teachers, right? And then from there, we move into young adults and we're looking to please, whether it's our society or to start pleasing our leaders, our bosses, right? And then we like start looking at partners and then we start pleasing our partners. And so it's a vicious cycle. But what's most important is you got to identify from a very young age, you know, there's a fine line, like I said, from being a people pleaser for yourself, or are you being a people pleaser for someone else's benefit? Is it because you want to be like— like, oh, there's like— there's just a whole psychology around this, Andrea.

Oh, my daughter's here. Come here, Alana. This is— no, it's okay.

This is—

I want you to meet Tina. So this is Alana.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I'm gonna go. This is my daughter Alana, and we were talking, Alana, about— well, we're talking about people pleasing. We're also talking about how sometimes— yeah, we're live— sometimes my being so positive and bubbly can really— can you share how— come, come over here so you can, can you be on together? It aggravates you. And can you, can you just help Alana to understand why she's feeling aggravated? Oh, it's okay, honey.

Well, hi, Alana.

Only 5,000 people are watching.

I was gonna say, I'm kidding you.

Do you think I even know 5,000 people? Of course I do.

Okay, so my husband is like— can you hear?

I just want to hear.

Okay, so yeah, so I'm the positive one.

Wait, wait, wait, my— oh no, I was worried about this. Hold on for one second.

Sure.

I'm not— should I join? No, wait, hold on, let me— wait, I can't, I can't hear.

Is that better? You can hear me, right? A little bit, yeah. Okay, all right. Can you just take that off? No, because it won't work.

Oh, so I just— before we end, I want to— and I want you to understand why the screen is not running. This is why I bother Alana, because I'm so bubbly.

Yeah, so Alana, you know what I was telling your mom? Me and my husband were in the same boat because I'm very positive and he's not, right? So what we've come to learn is I am where I am. I need to accept where he is, and he needs to accept where I am. But we have to— the number one thing we have to do is understand that we're not supposed to be in the same space all the time. The most important thing that you could do for your mom is say, hey, I want to acknowledge that you're positive, but I'm not right now. Okay, so try not to rub that on me or influence me with your positivity when I'm not ready, right? Because the most important thing is, if you're anxious and you're nervous and you're stressed out about something, the last thing you want is someone who's totally opposite around you. But then there are those times where he appreciates my positivity and he can't help it because it's so infectious. So what you have to do is, number one, always be open to communicate with your mom about where you are. And then number two, you always have to just be accepting of other people's differences. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, I get it. I get it. I was that annoying kid in high school that was like jumping around all the time trying to make people happy. But oh my God, the, the minute I came across people that weren't so happy, I was like, okay, I'm gonna tone it down a bit and just walk past you until the next hallway where I can find more positive people. So positive attracts positive, like attracts like. So always try to find the good in life. I like that. Yeah. Okay, awesome. Well, nice meeting you.

You too. You're pretty.

Oh, thank you. I never say that. You're so sweet.

Yes. Oh my gosh, thank you so— I don't know what happened to my computer when I took the mic out. I couldn't hear you. Thank you for talking to my daughter. I'll have to go listen to this now. Thank you so much. Oh my gosh. That means so much. Thank you so much, Tina. I— okay, so Tina, how do we reach Tina? So the website, See Yourself Grow, but then where are you on social media?

I am, I am. You can find me on Instagram, uh, it's See Yourself Grow with Tina. Facebook, See Yourself Grow with Tina. Uh, Twitter, YouTube. Um, you can find me on my website, www.seeyourselfgrow.com.

Do you have groups? Do you, um, are you planning anything? Do you do workshops? Are you planning a workshop with WPN or anything?

Yeah, actually I have a workshop coming up this Saturday. It's called What Is Procrastination Costing You? And, uh, so I'm sharing 21 ways to kick your procrastination habits. So how to be a productive procrastinator.

Would that be good for Ilana?

Oh yeah, for sure.

Oh my God, you know what procrastination is? Putting something off. It's 21 ways, etc., 21 ways to not procrastinate, to get the job done. Oh, okay. All right. So where do I find that?

Yeah. So I'll actually, uh, if you go to Facebook and you type in, what is procrastination costing you? Just type in, what is procrastination costing you? I can send you the link. Um, and you could sign up there.

Oh, and everyone else too, look at this. Is— okay, I want to just grab it myself too so I have it. Oh, okay. All right, you'll send it to me because that's so easy to find. Oh no, wait, oh no, that was last year. I am so excited that we met. Thank you to WPN. I'm going to follow you, everyone. I'm going to, um, put, you know, send out all the information and Thank you so much. I think you really didn't know we were gonna do this. We were just gonna have a call, but this, this is actually what I call life-changing. Tina, you're life-changing.

Oh my God, thank you. I love how this went. I like, like you said, didn't expect it to go this way. Thought we were just gonna have a quick chat, but this is like the best. This is awesome.

Get on Clubhouse, by the way. Clubhouse would be great for you. So if you need help with Clubhouse, let me know. If you need an invite, let me know. It is available now for Androids, so if you have an iPhone, okay. And, um, yeah, so just send me your cell phone number and I'll send you the invite. And then if you need any help, I'll give you some tips and tricks and what to look for. But you could really start— you could, because people love to hear what you have to say. And so you could do rooms like that, and you know, there's— you can monetize it just like you would any place else. You can, um, charge people, you could start clubs, but you got to get on and get on now before it really gets lost. Yeah, when they first started, rooms were very big. There was like big, big rooms. Now you're lucky if you get 20, 25 people in a room. But really, for you, it's manageable. So I'm gonna get Tina on Clubhouse if it's the last thing I do. So Tina, thank you so much. Thank you so much. I'm going to be following you. Are you on LinkedIn?

Yeah, yeah. Okay, good.

Okay, I'm going to find you on everything because I— and then I'll send you a copy of this. I— there's something so All right, everyone, you're so likable, Tina. It oozes from the—

wow.

I— oh, and you know, I'm in Florida. I'm in Daytona Beach. So you're going to be coming to Florida soon. Everyone from Canada comes to Florida.

Yes, we do.

It's like natural. So you go to, um, are you in Orlando, South Florida, or North Florida?

Orlando, usually.

Good. All right, so Daytona, we're just an hour north. We drive on our beach, so we're unusual. We're the world's most unusual beach. So you'll come visit me, okay?

Absolutely.

All right, we're gonna stay in touch. Thank you so much. Have a great night. Thank you for a lot. Thank you. I, I owe you too. Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Thank you, my new friend. I love it. This is great. Thank you so much, Tina. Wow, you don't even know. You really— I mean, maybe you do. You probably do because you probably have changed so many lives, but this is incredible. So good. All right, it's not, um, it's not closing for me, but that's okay. We, uh, I will just shut it down the hard way. Have a great rest of the night. Thank you so much.

Thank you for this. Have a great one. We'll see you soon.

Thank you. Bye-bye.

Could I barely say I like that people are pretty?

So likable, right?