In this monologue, Adrienne Barker, MAS, contrasts two opposing networking philosophies – the "Maximizer" who treats networking as a numbers‑driven sales funnel, and the "Connector" who prioritises a few deep, trust‑based relationships. She outlines how each style defines success, selects events, behaves in‑room, initiates and exits conversations, and follows up. Practical tools include a data‑driven event‑testing framework for Maximizers, a deep‑anchor volunteer approach for Connectors, a step‑by‑step 24‑hour/2‑3‑day/7‑day follow‑up cadence, a checklist of common mistakes, and a pre‑event prep checklist. The talk concludes that trust is the ultimate currency and the most effective networkers blend both playbooks, pulling the right strategy for each context.
Chapters
All right, let's talk about something that trips up pretty much everyone: networking. You walk into a room and what's the goal? Is it to collect a mountain of business cards or is it to build a handful of real, genuine relationships? Today we're going to break down two totally opposite strategies to figure out what actually works. So let's just pause on that for a second. When you walk into an event, what is your actual goal? Are you just trying to get your name out there or are you trying to build something that lasts? This one question is at the heart of the whole debate, and by the end of this, you're going to have a much clearer answer for yourself. So here's the game plan. We'll kick things off with the two core philosophies. Then we'll define what a win even looks like for each. After that, we get into the practical stuff—where to go, what to do when you're there, the crucial art of the follow-up, and finally, how you can build a style that feels authentic to you. Okay, let's dive right in. At the center of this whole thing are two completely different schools of thought. So, let's meet our two contenders. First up, we've got the Maximizer. For them, it's a pure numbers game. Networking is just a big sales funnel, and the more people you meet, the more chances you have to close a deal. Simple. But then you have the Connector. They believe that 50 forgettable handshakes mean nothing. They'd rather have 5 memorable conversations. Because for them, real opportunities, the big stuff, it all comes from trust, not just a name on a card. Now, here's where it gets really interesting. How do these two totally different approaches even measure success? Because a win for a maximizer looks nothing like a win for a connector. For the maximizer, it's all about the numbers, right? It's quantitative. It's immediate. I met this many people. I got this many next steps. I booked this many calls. It's all about filling that pipeline fast. The connector, though, they're playing the long game. Success for them is about creating advocates. It's about a meaningful exchange like, hey, I know someone you should meet. Or "Here's a resource that might help you." They're not chasing transactions. They're building a coalition, one solid relationship at a time. But you know, a philosophy is one thing. A strategy is another. So where do you actually go to put this into practice? Choosing the right event is absolutely critical. And no surprise, our two personas have very different ideas about how to do it. The Maximizer treats this like a science experiment. In month 1, they go wide, sampling a bunch of different groups just to collect data. Then, they narrow it down, going back to the most promising ones. By month 3, they've committed to the 1 or 2 groups that give them the absolute best return on their time. It's a pretty ruthless, data-driven approach designed to eliminate any wasted effort. The Connector does the exact opposite. They pick just 1 or 2 anchor groups, and they go deep. They show up consistently for months. And here's the genius part: they volunteer. By taking on a small, visible role like helping at the check-in desk, they stop being just another guest. They become part of the fabric of the group. And that right there builds trust way faster than any sales pitch ever could. So before a Maximizer even commits, they run a quick fit test. Question 1: Are my people in this room? Is at least a third of the audience a potential fit? 2: Is it efficient? Are there things like structured intros to help me meet a lot of people fast? And 3, can I get a spotlight? Is there a quick way for me to show what I can do? If it's a yes on all 3, they're in. The connector asks those questions too, but then they add another layer, the vibe check. First, do I actually like being here? Because if you dread going, you're just not going to be consistent. Second, is there a real culture of follow-through? Do people here actually do what they say they're going to do? And again, are there opportunities to serve? It's a brilliant filter for finding groups where real relationships can actually grow. Okay, so you've picked your spot, you're in the room, now for the hard part. What do you actually do? Let's break down those little moments that can make or break the entire experience. We've all been there, right? Staring at that dreaded closed circle of people talking. The Maximizer just goes for it. They have a little script, they politely ask to join, and they're ready to back away gracefully if the vibe is off. The Connector is more of a scanner. They'll watch first, see if it's a private chat, and maybe find someone standing alone first or wait for a natural opening. They're looking for an invitation, not forcing an interruption. And, ah, the classic food and drink dilemma. The Maximizer is smart. They grab a drink to have something to hold, but they always keep their right hand free for a handshake. Pro move. The Connector, on the other hand, avoids the whole juggling act. They focus on conversations first, knowing that a plate of food just gets in the way. For them, the water station is actually a strategic spot. It's neutral ground, a low-stakes place to start a chat. You know, how you leave a conversation is just as important as how you start it. The Maximizer is all about that call to action. Their goal is to turn that chat into a scheduled meeting. The Connector exits by offering value. They'll ask something like, "So, who are you hoping to meet tonight? Maybe I know someone." See the difference? One secures a meeting for next week, The other creates value right now. This brings us to what might be the most critical part of this whole process. The event? That's just the starting line. The real work, the real magic, happens in the follow-up. This quote from The Connector's Playbook, it really says it all, doesn't it? If they don't remember you, that whole interaction was just noise. A thoughtful follow-up is the one thing that separates you from everyone else and turns a quick hello into a real opportunity. So here's a super simple, totally repeatable system that works for anybody. Within 24 hours, send a quick note that adds some value, maybe a link to an article you talked about. Within 2 or 3 days, deliver on any promise you made. And then, and only then, on day 7, you can ask for that call. This little cadence builds trust before you ever ask for anything big. And of course, here are a few key mistakes that can just destroy all your hard work. Don't pitch someone before they've given you a reason to. Don't talk for more than a minute straight. If you promise an introduction, for goodness' sake, make it. And please don't ignore the newcomers or the quiet people in the room. Being the person who welcomes them is incredibly memorable. So we've covered the two extremes, the maximizer and the connector. Now, for the final step, let's bring it all together and figure out what actually works for you. Here is a simple pregame checklist anyone can use. Before you walk out the door, have one clear goal. Know one thing of value you can offer people. Practice a friendly, 10-second version of what you do. And of course, pack the essentials. This little prep literally takes 5 minutes, but it will skyrocket your confidence and your results. It's about walking in with a plan, not just with your fingers crossed. And at the end of the day, it really all boils down to this one powerful idea: it doesn't matter if you're a maximizer or a connector. Trust is the ultimate currency. Building it has to be at the center of your strategy because genuine trust is the only thing that makes a network truly valuable and scalable. So look, there is no single right answer here. The most effective people aren't just one or the other. They're a smart mix of both. They know when it's time to work the room and they know when it's time to have that one deep conversation. The real power is knowing which playbook to pull out for which occasion. The only question left is What's your style gonna be?
