After her divorce, the speaker wanted to undo it all. Fourteen years later, in a healthy partnership, she sees that painful experience as essential. It taught her what she actually needs and freed her from other people's expectations about relationships.
Hey lovelies, I was thinking this morning because I was listening to an audiobook and somebody said something about an undo button on the computer, and it brought me back to the early days after my divorce where I was thinking, I wish I could undo it all because it was so painful and it was so not what I wanted in my life that I was like, can I please please undo this. And the more I've grown from the experience, the more I've learned, the more I've moved forward. And when I look at the person that I've become, when I look at how I show up in my relationship now— so we're 14 years in and we always joke around and we still like each other— the more I realize that I would not undo what happened to me to save my life. Because I would not be who I am today but for that experience. I would not have learned who I am. I would not have learned what I want. I would not have learned that I can show up in a different way and that I don't have to follow or agree with what society tells me or what I learned from watching the people around me behave in their relationships. So it's a gift, right? You have to get past obviously the emotional component and the emotional difficulties, but once you have that, being able to look and really understanding and do a little bit of archaeological digging to maximize or to choose how you want to move forward from here, because you know more about who you are, you know more about the things that make you happy, you're definitely super sure about what it is you do not want. And that's often a very good place to start when you're rebuilding. You know what you don't want. So I would invite you, if you are on the other side of divorce and you are still wishing that you could undo it all, that you could change everything, that you could— whatever questions or regrets might be going through your mind, know that everything that happens in your life happens for your greater good. And this was undoubtedly the best thing that has ever happened to me. One of the best things. There are many good things that have happened to me, but this is definitely, in terms of my relationship with myself and the relationship that I'm in now, there's no comparison. So I would invite you to just think about it, um, and see what calls to you.
