Courage Over Comfort

Hello everyone, and welcome back to the V Spot. Today I want to talk to you about this idea, this notion, courage over comfort. Courage over comfort. So if you've been here before in the V Spot, you absolutely have heard me mention the notion of courage over comfort. Right? And if you have done any work with me, you've absolutely heard me speak about it. But for those of you who maybe never heard me speak about it, I want to dive a bit deeper into this topic today so I can really paint a picture of, number one, why I'm so passionate about courage over comfort, and number two, so I can really share with you the importance of leaning into this notion as well, right? So, um, for those of you who potentially have seen on social media, you know, a couple of weeks ago I took my first solo vacation to Sedona, Arizona to celebrate the 2-year anniversary of Intentional Healing and Wellness, you know. And I want to share a little bit about why I decided to celebrate myself and intentional healing and wellness, the work that I do, in that particular way, right? So, um, you know, the last couple of years have been chock-full of courage over comfort, you know, in lots of different ways, right? So beginning my business to start, like, to start with developing my business and launching it from an idea to an actual thing, you know, was— is a perfect example of how I first chose courage over comfort, right? And so many of you have heard the story, perhaps some of you haven't, where it was the height of the pandemic here in New York City. My brother ends up in ICU with COVID I basically end up in fetal position in my bed scared of what would happen to him, scared of what would happen to everyone else, scared of what would happen to myself, right? And I lost access to all of the tools and the experience and the expertise and the knowledge that I have regarding how to help myself, right? So I'm in the throes of this panic and this overwhelm and trauma, if you will, right? And I made a decision, you know, I, I sat up one day and made a decision, you know, asked— after I asked myself the question, do you want to navigate this pandemic in this way, or do you want to sit up and utilize everything that you have access to and create something that not only you need but the world needs? And that is how Intentional Healing and Wellness was born. And it's a perfect example of how courage over comfort was chosen in that particular moment, right? Um, so I, I want to go back to that in a second, but I'm going to jump around, and I know you all could track with me. So, you know, the business is started, it's— and that's one way in which I choose the courage. And then it's, wow, this work means so much to me, I can't imagine doing anything else. And so I'm now faced with the decision to step out of my career, you know, 14 years as a school psychologist. And now I'm thinking to myself, I don't want to do that anymore, right? I haven't been happy with that for a long time anyway. This is the work that I really want to pour into and build up, right? And so, you know, got that pension, have the 6-figure salary, the security of, the, the job, and I start to have the conversations with, you know, mentors and coaches about what next, right? Like, I don't— I can't see myself doing this for one more minute. But there was so much fear attached to letting it go. So once again, choose courage over comfort, and I resigned from my position as a school psychologist to pursue this vision and this passion and this work that I, you know, wholeheartedly believe it's why I'm here. It's why I'm on this planet, you know, um, without any of the evidence of how it's all going to work out, without any experience in business about, you know, what to do next and how to market and what funnels and all that good stuff, right? Um, without any of that And so again, courage over comfort. And so as I was hitting the 2-year anniversary of the business, I really started to think about, am I sitting with, or am I experiencing the level of success? And, um, am I sitting with the level of success that I am aspiring to reach with the business? Not yet. Right. But I also wanted to acknowledge all of and celebrate all of the ways that I have persisted, put myself into, you know, um, take, like, to take risks, to go for it. Right. So my opportunity to celebrate the choice to celebrate myself in Sedona was an opportunity to to really acknowledge every decision and all of the choices and all of the persisting and scary, you know, obstacles that I faced in the last 2 years, but nonetheless was successful in getting through them, right? So I opted to go to Arizona because Arizona, particularly Sedona, is very much known for healing work and the beauty and the magnificence of nature. And that is what I was desiring. That's what I was craving. And so off I go, first solo vacation, you know, and it surpassed my expectations. It was incredible in so many different ways. And there were so many different aspects of choosing courage over comfort once I was even there, you know. So I went on a hot air balloon ride. And now I'm not one who would necessarily say that I am afraid of heights. But that sort of adventure is scary to me, you know, so it's something that I definitely was resisting. But I knew that if I stayed attached to the fear of all that could go wrong, right, all of the possibilities, I would never experience the, you know, wonder, if you will, right, of what it would be like to suddenly be 2,000 feet above ground and witnessing the sunrise, you know, and, and, and flying over, you know, the Red Rock Mountains and all of it, right? So there was, in each way, on each day of this particular vacation, um, I really continued to choose courage over comfort, even in healing services that I opted to participate in and to dig deep within myself. Right? I— what is it that I needed to really— what was I willing to roll up my sleeves and dig into? Because I knew that on some level there was some aspect that was holding me back, right? So courage over comfort isn't just a nice idea. It's absolutely a lifestyle, right? And it's calling yourself forth so that you can, um, purposefully leave the comforts, if you will, of the comfort zone, right? And what I want to highlight about this, and what's really somewhat of a paradox, is courage over comfort. The comfort part of it— let's refer to it as the comfort zone aspect of this— is often not comfortable, right? Because it's often the space that we're stuck in and we are not happy with. Right? We are not experiencing fulfillment. We are not experiencing joy. You know, there's no risk at all. It's a completely— um, actually, I'll say this for me, it's a completely scary place to be, right? Because it's dangerous. You know, depression often resides in, in my comfort zone, you know. Um, staying away from the things or the unwillingness to go after the things or the people or the opportunities that would really light me up, that, that lives there. So when I speak about courage over comfort, the irony is that the comfort is often not comfortable at all. It's actually stealing our joy. It's dulling our shine, right? It's robbing us of our dreams, but it's familiar. And oftentimes what's familiar is what's comfortable, right? Because then we may not get the butterflies or get put in risky situations where we have to share of ourselves in a particular way, or we have to put ourselves in a situation to potentially be rejected, right? There's less of a risk, and so we stay., you know, in this particular space. And I could say I stayed in the comfort zone, the uncomfortable zone, for far too long. And none of the things that light me up ever occurred there. As a matter of fact, there was a lot of gloom that occurred there. So I think it's important to put that on the table in this particular context because I want to highlight that you may think you're keeping yourself comfortable but you're actually making yourself exceptionally uncomfortable because you're further and further and further from your dreams, right? And so this idea, this notion, this lifestyle of courage over comfort, I want to highlight too that it's very individualized. It's completely individualized. What it is for you to choose courage or requires you to choose courage, it's not going to be that for me. We're not going to share the same attributes in this particular, you know, the same conditions, circumstances. It's going to look very different. And so when I speak about it, I really want to, you know, I can only speak from my personal experience, but I can tell you that the comfort zone, the uncomfortable zone, um, it impacted me in all different areas of life. Right. It impacted me pertaining to relationships, um, the relationships that I was in and the relationships that I was unwilling to get into. Right. Um, it impacted my career by keeping me in it. Like, I kept myself in a space for a long time that I was very unhappy in, and it became glaring more and more as time passed that it was like a chipping away at my like the fabric of my being because I was out of alignment with the position, right? But the comfort zone, the uncomfortable zone, is really where I opted to stay because the thought of all the other scenarios were scary, right? Were nerve-wracking. But what I've come to learn is that it was also excitement and, um, And I stayed in uncomfortable places because I was in attempting to avoid that, right? Also finances, you know, I certainly got comfortable many times with the salary that I had and thought to myself, how could I let this go? You know, this is what's comfortable. This is what's allowing me to live a certain life, and I never allowed for the possibility that I can surpass that in any way, right? And so I'm saying that to you all because I'm wanting you to check into these areas of your life. Um, and those are just a couple of examples, right? We can go on and on in all the different ways that, um, we stay comfortable or stuck, right? Um, and ask yourself what's at stake, you know, what are you without because you're opting to stay in this zone that we often refer to as comfortable. But I'm going to highlight again that it's actually stealing our fulfillment and joy and dulling our shine, and there's nothing comfortable about that, right? So courage over comfort as a lifestyle is really about being aware and taking an intentional inventory about what does it look like for you to choose it. Right? What does that look like? And I've given examples in different podcast episodes, um, because it's also the conversation about vulnerability, you know, how it could possibly show up. But where are you keeping yourself safe, if you will, and comfortable by not calling yourself forward? Right? And what are the things that you are afraid of? And so the trip for me was a purposeful celebration, right? It was a celebration of I may not be where I want to be just yet with this particular business. However, I've done so many things and it warrants celebration. I've pushed myself into unfamiliar territory in so many different ways. I don't want to wait until I am earning X amount of dollars to consider myself worthy of a celebration. I want to celebrate now. Right? And so Sedona was that. It was a celebration on purpose, out of my comfort zone, right? Because traveling alone was unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Driving through the desert for 2 hours was unfamiliar and uncomfortable. You know, um, going on a hot air balloon ride was unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Right? And I would have never experienced the beauty and the magnificence and the breakthrough and the people and the possibilities and myself the way that I did if I would have stayed here in Brooklyn and kept myself comfortable, right? So this is a call to action to you all, everybody who's listening. Tune in. And really ask yourself the question, right? Where am I holding myself as comfortable? And there's going to be some information that gets revealed there. But I want to leave you with this aspect of the conversation, which I can't emphasize enough: the moments that will change you, the experiences that will be remembered, I believe, when we come to our final moments in our journey, right? They are not the moments that occur in the safety zone. They are not the experiences that happen in the confines of our comfort. It's where we are stretched and where we are willing to push ourselves and the epic experiences that we're willing to give ourselves on purpose, knowing, yes, I will be scared and I'm doing this thing anyway, right? Yes, I have no clue how this is going to turn out and I'm willing to find out on the other side, right? Yes, I have no experience in this particular regard and this thing actually seems crazy, and I'm willing to walk the path to wind up at a certain spot and discover what it is that had that idea so loud in my mind, right? So, um, the takeaway and the thing that I want to highlight so much for you to just sum this conversation up is that courage over comfort is not just something that I talk about, it's something that I truly believe in., and it is a walk that I am committed to walking. And I want you to walk alongside of me, right? Knowing that it's going to look very different for you and your life than what it looks like for me and mine. And there may be times that we share some commonalities, right? Because that's life and that's what it means to be human. But I want to call you forward to recognize that there's so much at stake by avoiding the courage, right? There's so much at stake by keeping yourself in the comforts of this safety zone. And oftentimes it's your joy, it's your fulfillment, it's the experiences that will have you smile at the end of the days, right? It's the feelings that we're able to feel that make up this magical experience called life. Right. And so, um, consider this an invitation to come to the party that is, um, full of risk and uncertainty, right? And, um, be willing to figure it out in real time and trust that you will absolutely have the experience that you not only need, but you deserve to have, right? And it will absolutely reshape your life and you as a person, you know. And, um, that's no small thing. I want to acknowledge in this particular moment that choosing a lifestyle that calls you out of your comfort zone is no small thing, right? And it's why I am so passionate about the V Spot and having a place and a space where we can gather on purpose to lean into conversations like this because, uh, you all are the MVPs, right? If you are committing to this lifestyle and you are committing to doing the work— is what I like to refer to it as, like life work, right? Um, it's not easy, but it is absolutely fulfilling, you know? And when I think about my choice to celebrate myself and this business in Sedona in the way that I opted to celebrate the memories and the people and the experience and the breakthroughs that I had as a result of choosing courage and embarking on that particular adventure not only changed me as a human being, not only changed me as a woman, but has absolutely changed the trajectory of my life and this business. Right? And you can't— that is something that you can't, um, that's no small thing, right? That's no small thing. So what lies on the other side of the situations that you choose into on purpose can most certainly change your life if you allow for them to, if you choose to put yourself in the situations where it can actually happen. Right? And if you recognize that what the, the, the, the zone that you're leaving is not comfortable at all. It's not comfortable at all. It's actually somewhat of like a quicksand. So I'm excited to, uh, hear from you all. And, you know, I wanna say thank you to everyone who has reached out to me pertaining to the adventure that they saw that I was on. Um, I wanna invite all of you to join me in this lifestyle of courage over comfort and share with me, whether it's social media, in my DM, in the email, um, what is it for you, right? What does courage over comfort look like for you? And where are you in a commitment to call yourself forth? Uh, and if you are not sure where to begin or you want to go on the journey with someone send me a message so that we can get on a call to, you know, work together, um, because it's always better when we are together. And your dreams and your visions and everything that your heart desires is waiting. And so we don't want to keep it waiting any longer. So thank you, uh, so much for being with me for this episode of the V Spot. I am looking forward to some, uh, more conversation and some, you know, other interesting places to go. But in the meantime, as I always say, to be continued.