Stress Management Unveiled

Hello everyone and welcome back to the V Spot. I want to share a segment today about stress and particularly stress management, and it is my hope that you receive this segment and listen to it the very moment that you absolutely need to. So let's get right into it. There are tons and tons and tons of reasons to be stressed in 2024. Just look around. The world is absolutely causing various levels of stress in lots of different ways and for very valid reasons. So this segment is not an attempt to do away with your stress. Right? I wish that I had that much power. I wish that I could take it all away from you, because I would. But that's not what this is about. This segment is designed to have you pause for a moment and reflect and get incredibly clear on what is causing you the most amount of stress right now. And then from there, after identifying it, we can look to have things be different. So let's actually check in right now. What is causing you the most amount of stress? Is it family? Is it your marriage, significant other? Is it not having a partner? Is it your friends? Maybe it's work. Maybe you are a supervisor and your direct reports are causing you tremendous stress. Maybe it's your supervisor. Maybe it's finances or the world, your community. There's a lot of reasons that you can be experiencing stress right now. So get clear on what exactly it is because in order to be able to interact with things differently, you first need to be exceptionally clear about what is contributing to your stress levels. And then after you land on it, what's important here is to identify Well, what can you do about it, right? Is there something that's causing you stress in this particular moment that you actually don't have to deal with, right? Where can you implement your power of choice and make different changes to have things be different? Because for some of you, the very thing that is causing you the most amount of stress, you are not obligated to have to deal with. But you're continuing to deal with it anyway. So we want to really get clear on what are the things that are causing us so much stress, and is there something that can be done to have it be different? Now, in many areas, you will come up with the answer, no, there's not anything that I can do differently to have this stressor go away, right? For example, if you were to check into community and world and you were to— take stock of all the things that are causing stress in your life in this particular moment, you may not have direct influence over how those things change or don't change, right? So the conversation here is not about doing away with the stressor. It's being able to change how you interact with the stress, OK? So that's really the first point that I want to make in today's episode. Stress is inevitable. Here is the spoiler alert, everybody. It is not going anywhere. It is part of the human experience. You will continue to experience times where stress is high, and then stress will go down. That is going to be a constant. It's what it means to be alive today. So this idea of stress management gets talked about. How do you manage stress? Stress. And what I want to propose in today's segment is that you focus less on managing stress and you focus more on managing yourself. Yeah, this is an opportunity to manage self because in a lot of cases, as I shared, you're not going to be able to do anything about the stressors that are in your life. You will only have the ability to determine how you interact with those stressors, how you cope, how you persevere, how you problem solve and find your way through whatever the circumstance is. So when we are in a conversation of stress and stress management, the managing part is more about managing self as opposed to managing the stressors. And that's a very different perspective because that puts you in the driver's seat and that allows you to reclaim your power to identify what you can do about certain things, how you can care for self and build resiliency in such a way that when stressors strike, because they will, you have the ability to find your way through in a way that is not necessarily depleting and going to take you out. So today is really a shift in perspective. It's one that calls you forward to recognize that stress is not going anywhere. It's here to stay. And there are things that you can do on self, for self, that will have you experience the stressors very differently. Now, why is this so important? Why is it so important? Right? Because you've heard it said before, stress kills. It's one of the most impactful sort of silent killers that takes us out because we're not necessarily effectively managing ourselves in such a way and caring for ourselves in such a way that when we have layers and layers and layers and layers of variables that are stressful compounded on top of one another, there's breakdown in the machine. And so there's a call to action to optimize your machine, right? You. The body is a sophisticated machine. How are you caring for it? How are you caring for your mind in such a way that will allow for the machine to effectively operate? And that's where self-care comes into the conversation about stress and stress management, right? That's the way in which you can manage yourself. So what things do you have in place to care for you? How often are you unplugging and really being still? How often are you reading or participating in counseling or therapy or working with a coach? How often are you meditating, moving your body, taking vitamins, hydrating, dancing, right, doing yoga, doing Pilates, working out, running on the treadmill, Whatever it is, walking, how often are you optimizing the machine? And what about on a soulful level? What are you doing to nourish your spirit? What does that look like? Is it a faith-based activity? Is it prayer? Is it meditation? Is it yoga? Is it time spent in nature? Is it creativity and art? What is it for you? But these are the things that we want to continuously do on a regular basis so that we are in a prime state for when stress comes our way, because it will, to be able to effectively manage self during the process. So remember, stress is not going anywhere. And this is less about you managing the external variables and more about you managing the internal. It's taking responsibility for self in a way of self-care that has you able, to the best of your ability, to navigate stressful circumstances. Now, will you struggle at times? Yes. Right? Will you be faced with variables that, at one point or another, have a great impact on you? Absolutely. But if you are in a commitment to do all of the other things on a regular basis, your bounce back will be quicker than that if you do not tend to self. And so today is really a call to action. It's about recognizing what is causing you the most amount of stress. It's about committing and recommitting to tending to self so that you are able to navigate those stressful circumstances. And on another level, it's about identifying, do you even need to deal with some of this? How much of it can you actually take off your plate? And I'm going to give you an example. If you identify that your partner, your relationship is one of the greatest sources of your stress, then it's time to ask yourself, is this the relationship that serves you? Is this a relationship that you want to continue to be in? Because oftentimes, we're dealing with things without recognizing that we have the power and the ability to have it be different. And sometimes being different with it means putting something to end, like closing a chapter, walking away. Because if you are continuously in a struggle with something and you don't have to be there, then you are in essence creating your own stress. And that's something to look at. What is it that has you choosing your own stress? And that may not be in the area of relationship. It may be showing up someplace else for you, because everybody is different and has a little variety of things that show up differently. But ask yourself this. Am I choosing my own stress? Are there places in my life where I can have it be different? And if so, what does that look like? So this is what it means to pause, to reflect, to unplug, and get connected so that you are able to generate different results for yourself. Otherwise, you will have more of the same. And if you are experiencing high levels of stress right now, we do not want more of the same. We do not want that. So what does stress show up and look like when it presents for you? And there's also this opportunity to get clear on that. How does it impact you physically, right? Do you get lethargic? Do you get extremely tired? Do you experience headaches? How does it impact you? And how does it impact you cognitively? Are you distracted? Are you struggling to make decisions? What does that actually look like? That's what we want to get clear on. How does it impact your behavior? Do you end up turning to alcohol, or do you turn to substances? Are you potentially avoiding responsibilities or procrastinating? What does your behavior look like when stress is present? And what about your mood? How is it impacting your emotions? Are you feeling depressed? Are you feeling anxious? Are you exceptionally agitated and frustrated? This is what we need to get clear on so that we know stress impacts you behaviorally like this. It impacts you emotionally like this. It has this level of physical impact so that you're able to recognize the cues. Oh, stress is really high right now. In order to do something different and have change occur, we need to be willing to sit with what is actually happening. So I wanted to stop in today because I know that many of you are battling very high levels of stress. And you're attempting to do so with looking at what it is that's causing you the stressor versus what it is that you can do about it. Now, there may be an opportunity here to get off of this podcast and take 10 minutes to be still, to play instrumental music and just breathe, to let go of all of the things that you have to do that you will inevitably do in a little while and really just hone in on self. Because here's the deal, folks. If you're not willing to do that, no one else can do it for you. So during tremendous stress, you need extra time to care for you. And you need to let go of the idea of managing the stressors. So what if today was about committing to managing self in such a way that regardless of what comes up, you are in the best possible position— not perfect, the best possible position— to find your way through whatever the thing is? How would life be different? How would you feel? Because let's face it, there's always gonna be someone who needs something. There's always going to be something on the to-do list. There's always going to be work that needs to be done. But you need to first care for you so that you could then find your way through whatever the circumstances are. So part of today is really about acknowledging and being honest about what's happening and how you can tweak your own routines, your own practices, your own commitments, your own priorities, to put yourself at the top of the list, to prime yourself so that you are managing you in such a way that when the stressors sort of come upon you and sort of hit you like waves, you are able to be up against whatever it is. And not in a way where you will not be impacted, but in the best possible version of you so that when you get knocked down, you're able to get back up. So forget trying to manage stress. This episode is calling you forward to manage you and trust that you will be able to get through the stressors. Pause and think about how you can take care of you today, tomorrow, and every day after, and recognize that as you are navigating very stressful circumstances, you don't have to do it alone. Help is always available, support, more effective, more optimal ways of navigating stress is available to you. And it's a matter of tuning in, tapping in, taking advantage, and asking for support. So get back to you, get back to life, and recognize that you have it in you to navigate all the stressful circumstances the moment you make a commitment to manage you. I hope that this episode was useful to you. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for spending quality time with me in the V Spot. I appreciate you. And until we meet again, to be continued.