Do first dates make you anxious?

What's the number one predictor that somebody doesn't want a second date? There's a lot of research on what makes dates successful. The research is very clear that fear is on the rise from people who are dating. Now, here's how we measure that. There's 2 dimensions. There's avoidance and there's anxiety. Now, you can be the kind of person who's both anxious and avoidant. That's called insecure in your attachment style and in your dating style. So you need to work against it consciously. And there's a way to do that. You take that anxiety, you take that sense of dread and uncertainty, and you turn it into adventure. And you can do that because you have a modern brain that makes it possible for you to reframe that experience as something better. Turning anxiety into an adventure really is a 2-step process. The first is to say this: I'm normal. The anxiety that I'm feeling is normal. My brain is working the way it's supposed to, as a matter of fact. If you try to fight against something that's a normal part of your physiology, it's just going to get worse. So to start off by saying, I don't like how this feels, But this is a normal thing. This is the first way to start putting yourself at ease. Remember, anxiety is a normal thing. There's nothing wrong with you. Here's the second part. Think about this thing that makes you feel uncertain, this thing that you're walking toward. You don't know exactly what it is. That's interesting. Isn't that how you like to learn about new things? Isn't this what makes you curious? Well, a date is a new experience. It's an opportunity for you to talk to a new person, to get to know a new human being. Focus more on being interested in your date as opposed to trying to be interesting. Going on a date is a very interesting thing, so get into it, get curious, go deeper, ask more questions. Before you know it, your anxiety is gonna start to feel more like an adventure.