In this excerpt, Arthur C. Brooks presents a practical framework for tackling ambiguous, high‑stakes life decisions such as marriage, career moves, or relocation. He identifies three core emotions that surface when confronting such choices: excitement, fear, and "deadness" (a feeling of emptiness or lack of enthusiasm). Brooks argues that these emotions reflect subconscious data processed by the brain’s right hemisphere, serving as an intuitive gut signal. He recommends aiming for a decision profile of roughly 80% excitement, 20% fear, and 0% deadness—recognizing that perfect zero deadness may be rare but should be the target. By listening to this emotional balance, individuals can align choices with their deeper calling rather than overriding intuition with rational analysis alone.
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There are also ways to think about hard decisions. So, for example, you're married, but if you weren't and some guy wanted to marry you and you're like, I don't know, or if there were a career possibility, I don't know if you're going to have to move to a new city. I don't know. Here's a way to structure that decision that'll be most likely to be coincident with your calling. There's 3 emotions that you feel when you're facing a decision that's ambiguous to you. Number one is excitement. Number 2 is fear. And number 3 is deadness. And you know that feeling? I mean, back when you were probably, you know, when you were single and a guy really likes you and it's like, he's a great guy and he's a good-looking guy and he's got a good future, but you felt dead inside with him. You remember that feeling?
Of course.
Of course, everybody does, right? Or when you're offered a big opportunity professionally and you're like, I know it's a good opportunity, but I feel dead inside. Yep. Listen to that. That's super important. That turns out to be, that's your gut. And that's actually processing a bunch of data about yourself that you can't quite articulate, Because it's right hemispheric. It's the why part. It's the intuition. It's the intuition part. Here's what you want: to marry the guy, to take the job, to move the city, whatever. 80% excitement, 20% fear, 0% deadness, or as close as you can actually come. Some people don't have the good fortune to be actually all the way at 0% deadness. But don't override that because that's, that's your, you, you're keeping score.
