Arthur C. BrooksThe Art and Science of Happiness

"I will coach my son's sports teams." - @sahilbloom

16 Apr 2026 · 1 min

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1:24

In this short reflective segment, Arthur C. Brooks describes a simple note card on his desk that reads, “I will coach my son’s sports teams.” He uses the card as a concrete reminder of his ideal self for this phase of life—being a present husband, father, and community member. By visualizing that version of himself, he can quickly assess whether new opportunities align with his values. He illustrates this with a hypothetical lucrative job that would keep him away 300 nights a year; the card prompts him to consider whether the “coach” version of himself would accept it, leading him to decline or modify the offer. Brooks also warns against “mimetic desires,” the seductive pull of shiny, attractive options that conflict with one’s true priorities. He expresses regret that he didn’t adopt this practice earlier and emphasizes that clarity about one’s desired life direction makes daily decisions clearer and more purposeful.

Chapters

I have a little note card that sits on my desk in my writing area that just says, "I will coach my son's sports teams." That's all it says, just one little sentence on it. What that statement means to me is the version of who my ideal self is during this season of life, if you will. I have a young son and I want to be the type of husband, the type of father, the type of community member who shows up to coach my son's sports teams. Now, knowing that, I can now flip a switch when I see that card to turn on that ideal self at any given moment. So if someone sends me an opportunity and it sounds really interesting financially, but it's going to require me to be away 300 nights out of the year. I could ask myself the question when I see that card, well, okay, turn this on. What would the type of person who coaches his son's sports teams do in this situation? I probably have to adjust that opportunity or say no to it because it's not who my ideal self is. It's a shiny object that I'm going to be naturally drawn to because of those mimetic desires. It sounds so sexy and attractive, but it's not aligned with what I want to want to be. I wish I had started when I was your age, quite frankly. I wish I'd had a little card on my computer screen that said Little League coach or whatever. I wish I'd done that. It's good advice. The important point in all of that is you get to decide for yourself where you want to go. And when you have clarity on the direction and on the life that you're actually trying to build, the actions and the days become clear as well.