Arthur C. Brooks reflects on 34 years of marriage, arguing that love isn't a problem to solve. He uses a real cat versus mechanical cat analogy to explain why living relationships are messy and resist logical solutions, even after decades of commitment.
What is your marriage like with your wife? Because it seems to be quite close. It's complex. It really is complex. And, and I've been married 34 years and I still haven't figured it out because we don't know. There's like the complexity of the human character, the psyche, the, the way that the human brain works, the way that the, the soul interacts one with the other has so many variables. It goes beyond what any supercomputer could possibly solve. And that's why I love my marriage because we are two spiritual beings interacting. She's the person I will lay my eyes on as I take my dying breath. I'm completely in love. But we argue every day over dumb things, over silly things. And that's the way that it works. That's how all complex relationships actually work. Those are the things that matter to us. It's funny, you know, people say, "I want a cat. I'm lonely and I want a cat." Why do you want a cat? Why don't you just get a mechanical cat? Because your brain knows the difference. The mechanical cat is a solved problem in the left hemisphere of your brain. The real cat is is a living thing, and that living thing is complex and unpredictable because in point of fact, it's alive. And my marriage is more like a cat than a mechanical cat.
