Arthur C. BrooksThe Art and Science of Happiness

Marriage is your antenna to the divine

11 Apr 2026 · 1 min

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In this excerpt, Arthur C. Brooks argues that marriage functions as an "antenna to the divine," especially for religious couples who view their love as a channel for God's love. He claims that the most intimate act for such couples is praying together, even more so than sexual intimacy, and notes that many couples avoid praying in front of each other due to its vulnerability. For non‑religious partners, he suggests meditation as a secular analogue. Brooks contrasts a metaphysical perspective—seeing a divine element in shared spiritual practice—with a neurochemical view that attributes the experience to brain chemistry, stating his personal belief in a metaphysical dimension while acknowledging the alternative explanation. He uses this framing in his counseling of couples preparing for marriage.

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religious couples have a real advantage on this, and that's because almost every major religion has a concept of marriage, which is that marriage is your antenna to the divine. And so most married couples who are religious, one of the things that they believe is that when I love her, it's God's love for her coming through me and vice versa. And her love for me is God's love for me coming through her. And that's when— and so, you know, when I'm counseling couples that are getting ready to get married in the church, for example, I'll say the most intimate intimate thing that you're going to do, and they think I'm going to talk about sex. Praying together. That's literally the most intimate thing that a couple will ever do. And I know couples who are, you know, churchgoers, they'll go 50 years and never pray in front of each other because it's too embarrassing. They'll have like 6 kids, but they won't pray in front of each other because that feels more intimate. So that's one of the basic maintenance things for— or if you're not religious, then meditating together. Using some sort of an antenna to the metaphysical forces that you are feeling. And, and some people would say, who are atheistic, they'll say it's a simulacrum, that something is actually happening in the brain because of the neurochemistry. I happen to believe that there is a metaphysics to it, that there is a divine element to these types of things, but using those things because it's that important.