Arthur C. BrooksThe Art and Science of Happiness

What Women Need Most to Feel Secure in Marriage

20 Dec 2025 · 1 min

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A short spoken monologue (YouTube) by Dr. Arthur Brooks arguing that the single most important thing women need from their husbands is to be adored. Brooks frames this need evolutionarily: because women make high parental investments (pregnancy, nursing), they require commitment and protection signaled by unique adoration from their mate. He claims lack of such adoration signals low commitment and can seriously damage marital stability.

Chapters

Women need one big thing from their husbands. They need a lot of things from their husbands, right? I mean, they require respect and they require responsibility, et cetera, et cetera. But the one big thing that if they don't have, it'll wreck their marriage. They need to be adored by their husbands. And the evolutionary reason for that is that women, they make a big investment. I mean, being pregnant and feeding a child, I mean, that's a huge investment. And that requires commitment and protection from the mate. And so the way that that's sh shown is adoration. Like, baby, I would fight a tiger for you and only you. That's adoration, right? And if they don't feel it, it's a huge problem because that signals a huge lack of commitment. And that's when a marriage really starts to falter. If they don't feel the adoration, the unique adoration from the husband.