Ashish Kothari suggests replacing blame with curiosity when work relationships strain. Instead of figuring out who's wrong, look at the environment, what people need, and your own actions. Then take a caring step forward.
In this week's tip, I invite you to turn to curiosity instead of blame in dealing with relationships that might have soured or are not bringing you as much joy. Now, in one of the teachings of Teach Nathan, he invites his students to consider their actions that they would take. If a beautiful flower that they had in their lives starts to melt, he says, do you plane the flower or do you instead start to look at the environment and what might be getting in the way, in the way of that flower flushing? Maybe it needs some water, maybe it needs some sun, maybe it needs some more nutrients. We rarely blame the flower, but when it comes to relationships, how quick are we to find blame in the other person? She is this way. She doesn't love me anymore. Instead of blaming the other person, what becomes possible if we get curious about what in our interactions with that person? Or maybe the environment around us, or maybe something else in their own life that is getting in the way and as we get curious and instead of blaming, start to take actions from our side? Maybe just like that flower, the relationship can breathe a new life.
Reducing Regrettable Attrition in Organizations by Fixing the System, Not the People Reducing Regret
