Ashish Kothari argues emotions aren't who you are. Instead of being controlled by them, work with them skillfully while focusing outward on helping others. You can hold grief without letting it stop you.
Emotions are not what we are. This notion of your first immediate orientation was to the other, not to the self. We spend so much time looking inwards rather than saying how can I help them? How can I make sure at least if I can't help them, not be a burden on them? Right? So there's even an extreme suffering oriented orientation to the other. Emotions are not what we are and we have a choice to shift if those are not serving us, not to ignore them, not to run away from them, but to be able to kind of work with them more masterfully. And I think that's, that's a little bit of what I heard you say as well is rather than just feel sorry for yourself, you said, you know, I can actually, I can still hold it, but I can let it not hold me back. I can still hold grief, but I don't need to let grief hold me back.
Reducing Regrettable Attrition in Organizations by Fixing the System, Not the People Reducing Regret
