Ashish Kothari explains why repeating your position doesn't resolve workplace conflict. Focus on the topic, not the person. Listen actively, find common ground, and address the resource scarcity underneath the dispute.
This is at the heart of so much suffering at work. I see this all the time. It's true out there in the world, but it's true at work. You have leaders who come in and all they're doing is just talking about advocacy. Advocacy. Nothing is actually being discussed. We're just replaying the same story. We're wasting so much time. These unproductive dialogues, reframing the conflict as can be good rather than something to be avoided. Conflicts can be constructive. They don't have to be destructive. I loved your notion of make it about the topic. In a world that is more complex, complexity frustrates us. It's not the other person. Right? I do some work with the U.S. olympic Committee and I often say look at the heart of it. When there are less resources than more to go around. It's not about holding in intention about all the different places. And people who want those resources recognize we have less resources. And so it is frustrating. Win, don't lose mindset is not going to get us too far in many of these situations. We can expand it. Look for the sense, not the nonsense. Find those places where we can agree because they become leverage points. But we've got to find that solid ground. And it also allows us to show that we are deeply listening versus not listening.
Reducing Regrettable Attrition in Organizations by Fixing the System, Not the People Reducing Regret
