Ashish Kothari explains how suffering equals pain times resistance, drawing on Buddhist teachings and Kristin Neff's work on self-compassion. He walks through four steps: accept reality, name the emotion, drop resistance, and take one small action toward something better.
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Hi dear friends. So today I wanted to share a little tip from you on how you can really reduce suffering. We can take inspiration from so many of the Buddhist teachings as well as the teachings of one of my favorite researchers, Kristin Neff, who writes in her book Self, Compassion and Equation, where she says suffering is equal to pain times resistance. Now, pain is inevitable. Sometimes when things don't go well, we experience pain, but when we resist that pain or the situation we find ourselves in that results in immense suffering, it's similar to the 2nd, 3rd, 5th, 10th, or the 100th arrow we fired at ourselves after the first arrow has been fired by somebody and has long left the sea. So the tip on how to reduce suffering is really simple. Start by accepting what is is. There is no way to fight that reality. Second, name the emotion that you are feeling right now. Drop your resistance by accepting and instead turn your energies towards the smallest action that you can take to make a little bit positive move in the direction that you would want. Try that and let me know how that worked for you. Take care.
