Why Promotions Don’t Make People Feel Seen

So everybody just think about when you've most felt that you mattered to someone else in your work. And think right now about what they were doing, what they were saying, what was going on. Okay, it's very unlikely you are thinking about getting your direct deposit or getting a, getting a big award or getting some big promotion. You're probably thinking of a very small interaction in which one of these three things was present. And this is what we find through researching thousands of people. When people feel that they matter, one of these three things is almost always present. One, when we feel noticed, so when we feel seen or heard. Two, when we feel affirmed. This is different than just appreciation or recognition, right? Appreciation is showing gratitude for who someone is. Recognition is showing gratitude for what someone does. But affirmation is showing someone how their uniqueness makes a unique difference. So it's like when somebody shows, reveals to us a strength we didn't know we had and shows us the difference that we make. That's a special kind of appreciation. It's called affirmation.