A short coaching monologue advising listeners to take responsibility for the health of their intimate relationships. Using Thich Nhat Hanh's flower analogy, the speaker urges people to investigate partners' needs and cultivate conditions that allow the relationship (the 'flower') to flourish rather than assigning blame.
Chapters
So I talked a lot about these positive emotions and ways in which we can generate them. And really, it's all about taking responsibility. I'm reminded of this beautiful story that I read in one of the teachings of Teach Nhat Hanh. He was sharing an example of Imagine if you have a beautiful flower, it is colorful, it is so fragrant, and you bring it home. You notice a week or two weeks later that the flower starts to wilt. It's not looking so good. What is it that you do? I don't know about you, but my first reaction to a flower that's wilting is, I'll see what does it need? Maybe it doesn't have enough water. I'll put some water. Maybe it's not getting enough sun. So I put it in the sunlight. So my focus is on figuring out how, how I can give what this particular flower needs. Now, our relationships are the same. Our partners, our spouses, when we meet them, are like a fragrant flower. But over time, when they start to wilt, what do we do? Our focus immediately goes on naming. You've changed. You're not giving me this. Our focus is not on us inquiring into what is it that that flower, our partner, needs, how are we contributing? And more important, regardless of what we are contributing, take responsibility to create conditions for that flower to blossom again, to be filled with color again.
