Episode 12_ Remember to Take Care

Have you ever thought about how much you'd like to say but never knew where to begin? Well, Neon Bloom Productions is the place for you. They provide services like podcast production, vocal training, translation and consultancies. They've produced a number of super diverse and up and coming podcasts within africa. Go to www.neonbloom.co za for more information and awesome podcasts including this one that is www.neonbloom.Co.za. neon Bloom Productions. We make your voice hear. Welcome everybody to my podcast, Black Woman Business. It's Tulum Kwebele again. Guys, consistency is key. So I'm here, I'm rocking it. We're doing episode 12 today and I'm so happy to be here. I've been so busy the past couple of weeks really doing the most for my brand, doing a hell of a lot traveling outside the country, preparing for more travels before the end of the year, all to do with the brand. I'll let you guys and I'll keep you posted on what is going on and hopefully we can do like a little video bite thing just to let keep you guys, keep you guys on par with what I'm doing. So today I'm tackling a topic that is very, very close to my heart. Since I've been doing a lot of traveling, a lot of shaking, hand muscling, suppliers and and customers, it's been a very rough and roller coaster ride, if I can just put it like that. Good times, bad times. Like I was saying just now, I feel like I've been through the woods. So I just want to talk about remembering to take care, remembering to take care of yourself. Remember to take care of you physically, emotionally. I think for the most part taking care of your mental health, that one is very, very close to my heart. So those are the points that I will be appealing to today. Those are the things that I want to talk about with you. Firstly, I want to appeal to love, loving yourself. Yes, we take this common word very easily. Self love, self appreciation, self confidence. But really, do we give that honest time to ourselves and reflect, do we give that honest time to look into the mirror? Just you got nothing to do with your achievements, your business, your family, but just to eyeball yourself and to have a true appreciation of the type of person that you are. I know it's not something that I do often. It's not something that I do often. So also with this podcast, I'm planning to listen to it again and take my own advice. But guys, I think that goes a long way before even Interacting with other people, looking at ourselves in the mirror, eyeballing ourselves, Remembering what a incredible person that you are, what an incredible being that you are. Not because of your material things, not because of the friends you are keeping or the company that you have, but just you. Your uniqueness, your kindness, your softness, your. Your strong, your strong points, your everything about you. The way you move, the way you breathe, the way you speak, your voice, the way you blink, you know, just the little things. And I think that is very, very important and just something that we don't do enough of. And then the other second thing that I'd like to express is that things happen. Life happens. There's so many obstacles around on the way. There's so many good times, so many celebrations. That's why it becomes more and more important to keep your feet on the ground and remember your purpose and remember the type of person that you. And these life experience are just that it's experiences. It's like you moving from a certain rainy season to a summer season. The constant here is you, the constant here is you as a person. The seasons, they're going to come and go, friendships do, a lot of people do, but you are the constant throughout it all. That's why I think it's very important to look at ourselves in the different way also. The third thing that comes to my heart is actually physical health. Physical health is so important, guys. I think for me personally, physical health speaks to awareness of your body, awareness of how you are aware, doing, awareness of looking at the marks, the simplest thing. Like you cannot not know where, why you didn't have the scratch and it was two days ago. Why is it not healing? Touching yourself, especially us women, feeling our breasts, just being aware, doing all those exercises. You know, if something is painful, it started yesterday. You know, there's people that walk around and I know a lot of them and I've been one of those people where you walk around, you're feeling a certain pain. You can't even remember when it started. You can't even. It's. It's now become your thing, it's that leg thing. And that is very much unusual. Guys. We must remember to place ourselves in, in that spot where you say this is unusual and you must take it off and know what is going on. I think even when it comes to this illness of COVID awareness plays a big part. As soon as you realize the smallest thing of your scratchy throat, attack it, attack it. Even if you don't know, just do the most, whatever that needs to be done, you know, And I think it comes from awareness because illness, I think all illness is like a cancer. It just begins in a small way. A small way. Sometimes you won't notice and then it goes on for the second and then it goes. And then it just evolves and just becomes, you know, a big ball of, of something now. And it becomes a lot heavier and a lot more difficult to now control. You need to step into the hospital unit. It just avalanches. It's like an avalanche. Yeah, it builds up, builds up and then by the time you look, you're so far gone, it's difficult to turn back. I mean, you in ICU and it's all sorts of things, but I think becoming away very early on of your body could have saved your life. So I think, guys, that is something that we need to pay special attention to. You know, I'm not really an expert at it, but I think I'm pretty good with it this far because I've had three babies and every time, like for all three pregnancies, I remember we found out about my pregnancies very early, like I think within the first month because I was aware of my patterns. I'm just like, no, why am I doing that? Why am I not liking that? And with all three of my pregnancies, I found out within the first month. And I think that's got a lot to do with awareness. Obviously a morning sickness can show you flames, but I think my morning sickness came like three months later with them. So I think, guys, also, that is a very important one. Physical health, awareness of your health, awareness of your body, touching yourself, looking at the marks, asking yourself questions about where does this come from? What happened here tomorrow? Is it still going to be there? You know, to the, to the little things is when you are chopping vegetables and you see, you cut yourself with the knife, you see, ah. Now two days later, this thing is healing, which means I'm still good, you know, with a lot of things because I mean, you could have sat and not and see the soul not healing, then that, that is a problem. There might be a bigger problem. So. And then we start the avalanche thing, which we don't want to. Where we don't want to go. And then another thing that I want to appeal to in terms of trying to remember to take care of yourself is mental health. Guys, this one, it's the one for me. It's the one. Mental health is who I, I know it's a big deal. Like I, I think I've already mentioned that I've had two people in my family that passed away from suicide and it all comes from mental health, one of them being my dad. So I think this thing for mental health and seeing where you are going with a self talk and also just the people that you expose yourself to and also the content you expose yourself to through TV, through WhatsApp, through social media, what you expose yourself to is becomes very important to the contribution of your mental health. That's why guys, it becomes our responsibility as individuals what we consume, what we consume. You can't expect a TV to be doing things that you can't do for yourself. Change the channel if it's looking gory, change the channel. The news are looking very scary, Switch it off. Don't try to subject yourself to intake or outputs of other people that they think it's okay to lay out there. But you are busy consuming like it's not your choice, it is your choice and to take it even to a better step. You know, with me, since we moved up here in Gauteng beginning of 2020, in January 2020, we, my husband and I decided not to buy a tv. So at home with the three kids, we don't have a TV at all. And that was such a conscious choice. Why? Because of these same reasons of consumption, you know, kids are not able to make their own decisions when it comes to that. And also you know that as busy parents, it' just something to escape to give your child the remote and you just escape and you let the child do whatever they want. So I mean I think it's a bit, it's a catch 22 because you also don't want to be reckless and also you can't always be watching over your kids like 24, 7. But I just feel like TV for us even as adults there's stuff that you just can't keep keep from coming and they just coming and they coming at an alarming speed. And sometimes I have conversations with people and I say ah, I think this one spends too much time with tv, you know, not that it's a bad thing, but I mean also I just really hated that routine of whatever I'm doing. Even if it was a work related matter or something that I really had to do. The certain time, 8 o' clock, I must be in front of the TV looking at generations, looking at no guys, I just felt like it was taking away too much from us and we surviving, we're doing really well. Two years without tv. So we are good. But obviously social media. So my kids are exposed to the gadgets and they're very selective. Also YouTube. Watching a lot of YouTube, but that is also still within our control. I mean, there's our children. My husband has got this app thing where lets them, lets him know what they're downloading also. What are they doing? Whatever. He's keeping himself busy with that. That's his tv. What are the kids doing? So mental health guys and what we consume. I've, I've said this one before. People, statuses, just be selective which status you want to watch. Just be selective which people you want around you. And another one, like I said, physical care of yourself. Physical care of yourself. Doing those little things that really matter to you, that make you feel good. A nice long warm bath. You know, for me it does wonders, especially after a long day. A real treat, you know, just for yourself. Having conversations that people with people that really count, you know, all these little things that feel good to us. I think we must do a little bit more of, you know, just to feel good. Not for any particular reason to get 10 out of 10 or whatever. No, just because it simply feels good to me to lie in the bath for a good hour or so thinking of nothing. You know, glass of wine, yes or no, doesn't really matter. But that warm bath, thinking to myself or just sitting in the porch thinking of nothing. Those things, those feel good things. Simple, simple things. Or sitting in the sun, you know, guys, we must do more of that. It doesn't cost anything. Doesn't cost anything. But you, you, when you are done with that, you feel so revitalized, you'll feel like you can take on the world. You are a kinder person also to the people because you've something good and that counts. Another important one that I'd really like to point out is a question that I had some years ago. You know, because we push so hard for the things that we want or when we go through things. And my preacher asked me, like, when you come out on the other side of this, how do you want to look at yourself? Or how do you want to look at your relationship? You know, sometimes we do so much harm. I, and I think he asked us this because we were applying for our first home. We were applying to buy our first home. And this was like, why didn't you submit this? Why didn't you submit that? And then it starts becoming a bickering fight and it starts getting a bit too, too rowdy and too unpleasant, you know, and this person, remember at the end of the day, whether you do get the house approved or not? How will you look at each other after this transaction? You know, the things that have come out about the character that you are or the type of person that you are. Would you like to present that again after the storm? You know, if you are comfortable presenting that, that is good. But if you are looking and you're thinking, ah, but I treated this person completely in a terrible way, you know, and I wish it's something that I could take back. So those are the things that we need to look and it's possible to freeze the moment and say, do I want to reveal myself like this now? Never mind the other person now to yourself. Do I want to be ill treating myself so bad because I'm trying to achieve this and then after I have achieved it, what have I done to myself? You know what? Why have I, I tatted myself in this way and then now I've achieved. And what was the end goal? End goal? Yes, you got 100 out of 100. But this thing of not eating, not sleeping, lending yourself to hospital, losing weight, then you're starting on the avalanche direction. You know, what have you really achieved now you've got your hundred percent, but what have you done to your health? So those are the things that we need to look out for in taking care of ourselves. Those are the things that we need to look out for. And also another thing, the people that you have around you guys, we have the power to select the people around us all the time. All the time. Even if it's family sometimes, even if it's people that you see every day. I remember at some point I had a colleague that I worked on shift with all the time. This guy was so good at negative talk. Like it's, he ate negative talk. Like when it comes in, it's just negative all the way. And I was really struggling with this because also you must remember, he's on my shift. It's not like I can run away from this like you say, like I just said with this whole story of choosing. But still guys, you have a choice. You know, there was a way that I was, I, I received a coping mechanism where I was automatically blocking. When I see him, he's blocked. You know, I had become accustomed to blocking him. He could speak, we in a room, but anything that he says, it's got nothing to do with me. But when he's talking, I'm doing my grocery list in my head, I'm doing my other stuff. So still that is also a choice. You know, you, you very Much able to block what you don't need can do it physically. Block people from your social media. Block them, block them, block them. Don't ask questions to yourself, sleeping nicer, just block them. Because it's not serving you. It's gonna lend you to the avalanche situation anyway. So it could be physical, it could be that you just not interacting. You know, there's many ways to do it, but if it's the case of seeing that person every time, definitely you can block them in your mind. It's doable. Guys, I did it. I remember I did it with that colleague of my. I did it and I remember, I remember when I started doing moves and I changed what you call the department, the, the department that I was working for because I wanted to learn about procurement and that type of thing. He. It was very sad, you know, it was very sad because then he was so shocked. Like Tuli, when did this change come about? Like, I didn't even know that you're planning to leave. I didn't even know, know by the time that I had left the department. Like I was so far gone, like in my own activation and the plans and I spent so much time with him, but he didn't even know like what was going on. Which means I did a successful job of just keeping all my thoughts to myself and just letting him go on in his negative rent. But yeah, and then I think another major one which I'm really struggling with with at the moment is positive self talk, guys. Positive self talk. It's a constant job. It's a job because I, I found my mouth yapping the negative stuff, you know, and obviously it started in the mind. So it is also a decision that you can make with saying a positive self talk. And when I say positive self talk, I mean even in the simplest way I could be representing this point and saying, stop negative talk already. That, that's got negative converse connotations. You don't want to say something negative trying to bring out something positive. You understand what I'm saying? Because I yesterday I was actually in a conference and I heard one of the ministers talking and she was deliver a speech and it was more of a economical, what you call economic thing for women. And she's a woman minister, but she was talking about, oh, today we are gathered here and it's not because of a woman that has been cut or killed and put into a bag and put in a suitcase. We're not here because of that. We're not here because of women that are being beaten the Genocide, I like. Guys, can you understand why where I'm going with this? Those words are so shocking. Those words are so shocking and they are so negative and piercing and painful. And I doubt that what that is what she was trying to achieve. I think she was trying to say we are here for a common goal. We are here for the goodness, the economy of the country. We are not here to be. I mean, obviously those issues that are hurtful, the, the femicide that is going on and all these things that are so terrible that is happening to us women out there, those are issues to be spoken of on a different platform. But today we are faced with the economic battle, which is why we are here. And I was saying to my husband, the typical response for that is that sometimes we as human being, we like to say things like I, I hate rainy days. It's not good to put it like that. It has a negative energy. It has negative connotations. Why can't you just say I love sunny days, you understand? Because then also how you deliver that negativity, it's just triggers another negative thing. It triggers another negative which we can swap it around and make it into a positive spin. I love sunny days, therefore I love the sun. I love the sun's rays. And then it can evolve into something greater. This is just a typical example. So I think we must also watch the way that we say things or the way that we put our words together so that we know that what we are delivering is a positive presentation. It just gives a good aura, you know, and is well received and accepted. Because this thing of trying to say negative things in order to pull out a positive. Listen, I don't think it really works. I don't think it really works. And yesterday particularly when I heard the minister speaking at this event, I was shocked. And it's just one of the mistakes that we make, I think as humans just generally and the things to watch out for, you know, and it all becomes. It begins from self talk. Obviously by the time you are speaking about it, you've been thinking about it so much. So guys, those are the things that I think we should be aware of. We must remember to take care of ourselves. We must remember to love ourselves. We are incredible beings. We are incredible human beings and we are so blessed to be alive at this time and should address everything in that spirit. Thank you guys. I hope you've enjoyed this insert. I've really enjoyed it. I. I've got open up a bit more than I thought. Yeah, I hope you enjoyed it too. That's it from me. Signing out. Bye bye, Sam.