Identity Inversion Part 2

Hey, it's Ben Greenfield. Every week I release a quick podcast with some meaningful thoughts that hopefully make your life better. And this is it. If you would like these thoughts delivered straight into your email inbox, go to bengreenfieldlife.com/newsletter. And when you do that, you can also get access to leave comments, leave thoughts, leave your feedback because I love to hear what you think. All right, let's dive in. Welcome to Identity Inversion, uh, part 2. Last week, and I'll include a link to that video, uh, underneath this one, I shared with you a framework for powerful exercise that helps you identify and invert so-called blind spots, weaknesses, temptations, and areas of shortcoming. Now, as a quick refresher, What you do is you identify a conscious or unconscious/subconscious identity pattern that you have in a paragraph. Then you rename or you name the redemptive opposite in a follow-up sentence, and then you distill that single sentence into a single word. Now, that might have made no sense to you. I would definitely read or view last week's article. One of the best ways to learn is, of course, by example. So I'm hoping that revealing the results of my own identity inversion exercise will help inspire you and help you craft yours. So the following process that I'm about to describe to you took me about 8 hours. That might seem like a big chunk of time, a little bit intimidating. Not all— a lot of us have 8 hours laying around. So here's something you should know. It's important that each year you consider setting aside 3 to 5 days for a personal retreat. 3 to 5 days for a personal retreat. That can be self-reflection exercises, nature immersion, prayer, meditation, catching up on all those important books you've wanted to read, etc. You may have heard about folks like, I don't know, Bill Gates doing things like this. And then so that the multi-day gap in the schedule for that 3 to 5-day retreat doesn't catch anyone like your coworkers or your colleagues by surprise, what I recommend, what I do, is to schedule this time a year in advance. Like right now, if you look at my calendar, December 1st through 6th are just blank, like blocked off. Don't schedule anything—podcast recordings, meetings, consults, coaching, you name it. And then I do this retreat time at home because frankly, I still want to catch up on dedicated deep family time so I can have my own personal retreat time and still be present for, say, like family morning huddles or family dinners. Early December is a great time for this, in my opinion, because it gives plenty of time to prepare resolutions that might arise from this process for the upcoming year. So what I did for what I'm about to describe you for these 8 hours, I spent 2 hours each morning for the first 2 days of my retreat identifying and journaling the tendencies in my personality and in my life that I wanted to address. Then 2 hours each morning for the second 2 days of my retreat inverting those tendencies, right? 4 days in a row, 2 hours per morning. You do the math, 8 hours. Okay, so here we go with my list, which wound up being 10 items to invert. You'll notice that I formed my initial paragraph with like a question. That isn't necessary, but it felt like the natural way to do it for me. Okay, here we go. Number 1, why am I so attentive and seemingly hypersensitive to errors and lack of excellence in the workplace and in personal relationships, and so impatient and rude when those occur. Turnaround sentence. Okay, remember, this is the opposite. I want to be more patient, forgiving, and kind. Inversion. Remember, this is the single word that defines your inversion: kindness. Okay, the next one. Why am I not prioritizing connection to God with deep and constant prayer, even though I know I want to be in constant communication with God and go through life dependent on God's power, not my own power? Turnaround sentence: I want to pray more. Inversion word: prayer. Number 3: Why do I often look at others who are more successful than me, who appear to have more money, better cars, nicer clothes, cooler houses, more fitness, or greater praise from the world as a sort of social proof, as though I'm discontent about all the blessings God has already given me? Turnaround sentence: I want to get rid of this grass is greener thought pattern in my life. Inversion: Contentedness. Okay, so, so far we have prayer, kindness, and contentedness. Keep going. Number 4: Why do I feel so confused and regretful about my relationship with my dad and somewhat emotionally dull about his passing, as though I'm disappointed in him or disappointed in our relationship? Turnaround sentence: I want to honor my father, have peace about my relationship with him, and closure about his passing. Inversion word: honor. Number 5: Why do I get bored and antsy so quickly in social situations when I'm not in a position of leadership, responsibility, or the center of attention, and feel like I check out when I have to make small talk with people or sit around and hear other people's stories? I know that makes me sound like a narcissist. Turnaround sentence: I want to do a better job helping people feel seen, loved, and heard. Inversion word: love. Okay, so right now we have prayer, kindness, contentedness, um, honor, and love. Number 6: Why do I feel like I need to be in control of nearly every situation, including my own bodily functions and fitness, and often ruminate on seemingly small, trite tasks until they get done or get handed off to somebody to close the loop, often acting with a sense of OCD-like urgency if anything is not finished? Might be nodding your head if that's familiar to you. Turnaround sentence: I would like to be able to be okay with open loops and to relax, trust more, control less, and not feel like I need to be on top of everything. Inversion word: trust. Why do I often ignore the subtle cues and nudges that God often gives me during the day, such as how to govern my speech what I set before my eyes, and where I go and with whom. Turnaround sentence: I wanna be more like a disciplined soldier, obeying the commands of God no matter what. Inversion word: obedience. Why do I feel, this is number 8, why do I feel like every moment needs to be filled with something hyperproductive, spend a disproportionate amount of time trying to find a good deal, hoard things I don't need, and get so bothered when I see frivolous or unnecessary spending or what I perceive as Waste. Turnaround sentence: I want to have less of a spirit of scarcity. Inversion word: abundance. Number 9: Why do I often find myself attending to unimportant or non-urgent items with a sense of urgency, or checking boxes during the day just to feel productive, or spending time in the gym for the sake of fulfilling a certain number of junk minutes? Turnaround sentence: I want to be more intentional with how I spend my time. Inversion word: intention. Okay, we are on number 10. Why have I found myself, especially as I age, trying fewer and fewer new things because of fear of failure, public embarrassment, or injury? Turnaround sentence: I want to embrace adventure without fear of failure. Inversion word: courage. Okay. That's my list. Hope you're really getting the idea of what to do now with this exercise. So I'm almost done here, but I have another tip for you. Although I'm not a huge fan of relying on GPT for self-improvement, out of curiosity, I fed the list I just gave you into GPT, and I asked it to give an unbiased, objective assessment of my inversions. Despite what I considered to be a pretty basic prompt, the output was actually meaningful. Here's a summary. Love. Remember, these are my words. Love. So love anchors why I live. Prayer, trust, obedience. Those anchor who I depend on, right? God, not me. Intention and courage. Those anchor how I move, right? How I act. Contentedness, abundance. Those anchor how tightly I hold. And finally, kindness and honor. Those anchor how I treat others. So as I review my intentions on a regular basis, that summary, even though it's from GPT, actually helps me categorize them into how they reflect upon different, different, um, aspects of my identity. So here's what I want you to think about doing once you have your list. Put the list into a page of your journal so you frequently see it. You do have a journal that you frequently open, right? Add it as wallpaper to your phone. Just an idea. Just an image on your computer or phone and make that lock screen the background, um, or make that the lock screen background rather. And then for bonus points, uh, see the photo that went along with the article version of this video. Use a website like Amazon or say Zazzle to turn it into a custom poster for your wall. Mine's in my lounge, which I'm in every day, so I see it every day. Um, finally, this isn't about perfection, right? I wrote an article about brokenness. I'll link to it in the caption. And in that article, you'll learn more about why we're simply pursuing the best version of our broken selves. So this is about self-work, growth, and becoming better equipped to love God and love others with the purpose that we've been given in life. That's all. So once you're finished with this exercise, in the spirit of accountability and maybe some vulnerability, feel free to share your list in the comments section under this video. I actually read them, and I will send a free signed copy of my books, Fit Soul and Endure to the first person who comments with your full identity inversion list. It could be like 3 identity inversions. Don't be lazy. 1 or 2 is a little low. 3 up to, say, a dozen plus. You pick. But remember not to chew off too big a bite at once. All right, go.