12 Attributes of a Leader

Have you recently been thrust into a manager role, a leader role, leading others, and you've never done it before and you're feeling lost? Are you unsure about what you should be doing on a day-in, day-out basis as a leader to be successful? Or have you been in a leadership position for a while and yet you're still struggling to figure out how you could be a powerhouse leader? Well, today I really want to walk through what I call Leadership Basic 101, 12 attributes of a leader that even before you worry about the big stuff, you really should be taking care of these 12 attributes and focus on them. Even pick one out of three that we're going to talk about, and you will be on your way to being a powerhouse leader. So stay with us. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast that transforms female corporate executives into powerhouse leaders by showing them how to shed the challenges and overwhelm along with any fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negativity holding them back. I'm your host, Bernadette Boas of Follow Fire Coaching, bringing you powerhouse discussions each week to share tips, advice, and sometimes tough love so you create the rich in your work and life you deserve. Let's do this. I wanted to have this conversation because day in, day out, my job is to talk with new managers, long-term managers, and really find out, uh, what they're bringing to the table. What are they struggling with? What are they finding to be easy? What are they finding to be really a challenge? And to understand what is motivating those feelings, those emotions, that behavior, action, or words that is either making them feel confident in their role, or they're feeling as if they need to level up, they need to really elevate the impact that they're having on the day in, day out. So let's walk through 12 attributes of being a leader. And like I said in the intro, if you just picked 1 or 3 of them to really focus on now, or maybe the ones that you do have a gap in, uh, then you'll really be on your way to elevating exactly how you're showing up each and every day for your team, for your business, and for yourself. So we're gonna really, um, dive in and make sure that you have a clear understanding of these 12. All right, so the first one would be The fact that whether you are new or whether you've been in the position for a long time, it is not simply an elevation of being an individual contributor. You being now tasked to lead and manage others is not the same as you being the individual contributor who's, you know, day in, day out kind of doing the job, doing the work. You have a team now to do that. So your whole focus needs to shift around thinking about on a day-in, day-out basis, all right, does my team have the resources, the tools, the support that they need in order to get their job done? Do they understand from me? Do they understand clearly what the job is and what the expectation is and what the desired outcome is? Your job now as a leader, not as an individual contributor anymore, is to certainly get some tactical work done. But it's also, and primarily also, to be looking at the business and your role, your team, proactively and strategically to ensure that not only are they, you know, executing and operating and producing on a day-out basis, but they're also getting the development, the coaching, and the support the support that they need in order to elevate themselves, which will then elevate the outcome of their work, of the team's work, and of you. All right. So the first one of these attributes is really around being sure that you're not looking at the— at a leadership role as just an elevated individual contributor role, because it is not. OK. The second one is— and I talk to my clients a lot about this. But the second one is you have to recognize that others are watching you. Your team members are watching you to really understand what is acceptable, what behavior, actions, and words that you perform. And therefore, well, if you do it as a leader, that it must be okay for me to do it. I always relate it to children and parents. The children are always looking to the parents to understand not only what is acceptable, but what they do day in and day out. And they model that. They compare that. They copy that. They mirror that. And therefore, if you ever are frustrated with how your team's performing, how one individual is performing, if you're frustrated by, you know, the behavior or the actions or lack thereof, or even how one of your team members speaks to another or, you know, engages and collaborates with others. Well, you first, before you go and address that— and I'm saying that nicely because I could say attack that issue— what you really want to do is, where are they picking that behavior up? Where are they thinking that that behavior is okay? Because the answer could be, well, wait a minute, I'm actually going out and engaging, collaborating, you know, connecting with people in that same behavior. I'm showing up to work day in, day out, kind of with that same attitude, with those same words, with that lack of action or the type of action. So really, number 2 really needs to be a focus on recognizing that you need to model the behavior that you want and that it's from others because that's exactly what you're going to get based on your own behavior and your own performance. All right, that's number 2. Number 3 would be you have to, have to, and I had to struggle with this as a, as a leader. You have to let go of the fact that it's not do as I say, not as I do. You have to let go of that because again, just like number 2, is people are watching you for the behavior that's acceptable. And therefore it is exactly that. It is, you know, people are doing exactly what you are doing. People are saying exactly what you are saying. People are responding the same way you might respond. So, but you have to let go of the fact that just because you might have a title and you might have a an office or whatever the case might be, that it— you have an attitude of, oh, it's, you know, do as I say, not as I do. All right, number 4, uh, is the relationships you make is going to either make or break your progress and success now as well as in the future.. And so if anything's critical for any leader or any individual, even if they're not managing people, is to really ensure that you are connecting and networking and building relationships with other people. And I'm not talking just up, which a lot of new managers, even seasoned managers, initially say, oh wait, I have to go in and network and hobnob with, you know, the senior managers, the people that are going to be making decisions about me. Well, you know what? Remember, everybody watches everybody. So what they are looking for, their decision-making is gonna not be just around whether or not they get along with you or they like you, but they're watching to see how you connect and relate to other people, other people from the ground. And often people will say like the janitor to, you know, your team members, to your peers. To the seniors and then even the upper seniors. So relationships are absolutely vital to your success on your team, in the business, and in your career or your life. All right. So that's number 4. Number 5 would be think about meeting your team members where they are. What that means is recognize that as chaotic as the day can be, let alone, you know, pile on days to weeks and months and the year, you have to recognize when your people show up, whether they are in the same proximity as you or they're, they're, you know, away from you, remote. You need to recognize that They have other crap, other junk, um, that is happening around them that is affecting how they are showing up at work. They also have what we call here in the Shedding the Bitch world inner bitches— their fears, insecurities, doubts, and negativities— that are also influencing how positive, how optimistic, how energetic, um, how, you know, how, um, their mindset is to whether or not they feel the work. They, you know, they want to do it or not. So meeting them where they are allows you as a leader to ensure that you're paying attention and you're just not kind of dismissing whether or not you're— the person that you're talking to or the group that you're with, um, really are taking in what it is that you're saying, are in the state of mind and being to get the job or get the work done. Uh, you really want to recognize, almost like, you know, you, you want to walk in their shoes to understand what it is that they might be dealing with, what it is that they need, what it is that they're struggling with, what it is that their, you know, goals and ambitions are. But basically kind of forgetting your role and your position and your title and making sure that you're relating to them in such a way that you know what it takes to motivate them, inspire them, to course correct them, uh, and that you know that because the fact that you're out of your office, you're, you know, kind of away from the phone, and you're making sure that you're connecting with your people. Okay, that was number 5. Number 6, I'm gonna go back to the child and the parent. You know, I, I can remember as a kid, um, I fought my parents tooth and nail about the rules and the curfews and the little tiny bit of allowance that we would get, um, as kids growing up. I'd fight them every step of the way. I'd fight the, you know, all those boundaries and those, you know, rules that they made. Uh, however, you know, once you're through it and you look back on it, you recognize that, you know, all that structure, all that discipline, all that work ethic, all that— those boundaries, those curfews, those rules were actually setting me up, in this case, to be extremely successful at work and in play. And so just like children and parents, Your workers, your team members love structure. They love discipline. They love guidance. And discipline, when I say that, I mean feedback. And we're going to talk about that in a minute. But they love to know their boundaries. They love to know their ex— the expectations, the goals, the confines that they can work into. And, you know, therefore, even if they fight it, um, kind of recognize, you know, in them, just like in children, the fact that yeah, they might fight it, but they actually like it. Because the minute you get loosey-goosey and you start, you know, kind of letting the walls fall down and letting your hair hang down and, you know, fly in the wind and whatnot, you might find some of them, if not all of them, but you might find some of them all of a sudden feeling very, uh, unsure, very unstable, very insecure about exactly what is happening, okay, and, and what they should be doing and what you're expecting of them. So be sure to understand that structure and guidance and discipline is really acceptable, especially when it's done with positive intent, okay? And if you're a true leader, then you're ensuring that everything that you're doing, saying and performing is done with positive intent. Okay, so that's number 6, is all around structure and guidance. Number 7 is your team members are there for a reason. You know, if you hired them, you hired them for a reason. If they were there and you kind of acquired them, they've been there for a reason. All right, not to say that, you know, they don't have any imperfections and areas where they need to work on, but they were there for a reason. They're there to do a particular job. And it's your job as a manager, whether new or seasoned, to let them do their job. Do not micromanage them. So the 12th one— or I'm sorry, the 7th one— is all around not being a micromanager, trusting your people to do their job. Now, this comes into play, though there's many, many, many seasoned, seasoned individuals that are micromanagers. But that's for another conversation. But this really comes into play too, when there are individual contributors now getting promoted into these new managerial roles. You know, they're so accustomed to being that individual contributor, which was our number one attribute, is it's not an elevated individual contributor anymore. You now have to let go. You now have to trust the people around you to do the job that you were doing. And you need to kind of do your role. And so in this number 7, the same applies. You need to ensure that you have let go and that you are recognizing the skills and the talents and the capabilities of your team members to do their job. And you're trusting them to do it. And you're not kind of, you know, helicopter mom, you know, hanging over them. Kind of telling them how to do it, telling them when to do it, asking them if they did it. Some of that is necessary. But, you know, your job is to be very clear about the task at hand that you communicated to them and assigned to them, and then trust that they're going to do it. And that trust is going to allow them to know that they can come to you if they have any issues or they're not clear about something, or they're— they've got, you know, an opportunity or a change that, that needs to take place. But the one thing you absolutely must learn as a leader is to stop micromanaging if you ever, ever were, and to really empower and trust your people to do the job they're, they're being paid to do. Basically, they're being paid to do. Number 8. Number 8 would be about empowering your people. You know, there's multiple studies out there that talk about the fact that people don't leave jobs because of the company or because of the pay, or they didn't get a promotion, so forth and so on. They leave basically because they're bored and/or their manager isn't giving them the opportunities and the challenge that they want. Or as number 7 talked about, or they're not even letting them do the job that they're tasked to do. So you as a leader really want to ensure that you're empowering your team members. What does that look like? I'm asked this a lot. So what does that look like? You know what? It really is pretty simple. It looks like you engaging with your team members individually to really understand not only kind of what is their resume of the— especially of the role that they're doing right now, but what are their skills? What are their talents? What are those things even beyond what they do day in, day out that actually gets them excited, that actually inspires them, that actually motivates them and contributes beautifully and complements the work that they're doing. And therefore you say, okay, well, I want you to bring all of that into your job, into your role, into these— this project, this task that you're doing. You don't need to do it 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. You know, if you have certain skills, certain talents, and it means that you can, you know, introduce A, B, and C, I want you to be able to do that. That's empowering. You know, empowering also looks like, you know, if there's a new project or a new initiative, now that you know really what each of your team members is capable of doing, not just the job that they're doing, but what would stretch them, what would, you know, really challenge them. Well, another way to empower them is if a new initiative or project comes down the line, allow them to take that on. Even if it's outside the scope of their job, allow them to take that on so they can stretch themselves. They can enrich and expand their contribution and their value. Because there's nothing more motivating for an individual than to feel valued, valued and included and challenged in their, in their position, in the role. All right, number 9. Number 9 is all about feedback. Now, I spent a good part of the first half of the year, about 6 or 7 months, I spent doing focus groups with hundreds of employees and their managers. And It didn't even matter how high up the food chain I went. Every level of an organization said to me, you know, when I would ask, what is the number one thing, uh, especially around like recognition, what would be meaningful recognition for you, but what's important, what's really important to you? And the number one thing that they said was feedback. Good, bad, or ugly. They just wanted feedback about their performance, about, you know, how they're doing, what they're doing, what opportunities there might be, what issues there are, what challenges there are, what mistakes might have been made, and how their manager kind of interpreted it and took that in. But they want feedback. And that should be, and that's why it's included in this basic 12 Attributes of a Leader. That's why it's included here, because it should be a basic thing that leaders are doing. And it's not just, you know, at the beginning of the year with performance reviews and your mid-year reviews. That's not enough. That's not what— that's good, but it's not what they're looking for. They, they're looking for consistent, regular feedback. You know, they take on a new project or even a new task. And, you know, and you give them feedback, you assess how they did— good, bad, or ugly. You know, they, they make a mistake, they want to hear about it, they want to get the feedback around it. So they're just not, you know, left hanging, questioning whether or not they really effed up and whether or not you now, you know, kind of put a black check on their, on their record, so to speak. So feedback is absolutely critical, especially if they do a good job. Then thank them and say, "Attaboy!" I heard "attaboy" more than I heard anything anywhere over my, you know, 35-year career. Individuals just want an "attaboy," "good job," "thank you," "I appreciate you staying late," "I, you know, I appreciate you really taking that on even though it's not your job and not your responsibility." I appreciate that. It's not, you know, it's not hard. They're just words, but they're powerful to your team members. And trust me when I say, give it to them, and they will follow you into a fire. They will do what you want them to do. They will stretch themselves, and they will really be powerhouse team members for you. All right, that was number 9. Number 10. Your team members need you to be their calm in a storm. You know, nowadays, and I actually just spoke, and you can look for the previous episode around the VUCA world, you know, the world that we live in now full of volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity. And, you know, that is kind of a million-pound weight on leaders today. I mean, the change that's coming at all of us is just so constant and such a barrage that leaders at all levels, uh, really are trying to wrap their arms around what it is that their teams need in order to stay focused, stay productive, you know, stay on track, and to, you know, get the job done. So what you need to ensure is that when there is a blip or there is a bang, you stay calm, cool, and collected. You communicate clearly to them. You are transparent with them. You are that steadiness that they need to know that everything's going to be all right. So go back to thinking about if you have children. I do not, but I have puppies. But think about, you know, again, children and parents. You know, in, in a tragedy or a scary, you know, event, or even just small little hiccups in a child's life, they look to their parents to wrap them, you know, in their arms and to stay, you know, keep everything calm and just to know that it's going to be okay. Well, big or small, your individual and collective team needs you to help them recognize that it's going to be okay no matter what. Now, you know, we can't dismiss the fact that sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's not. Um, and you know, we're seeing that, you know, and we've been seeing it for a long time, some layoffs, some firings, some whatever you want to call them, disruptions, uh, shifts in the market, therefore shifts in the business. And as a leader, if you can just be upfront, transparent, honest to the amount that you can share, but even, you know, even more so, then that's all your team members want. Even if it means that they're coming, you know, on the wrong side of any decisions that are being made. If you're upfront, you're transparent, and you're, you know, really kind of deep with your communication and your feedback, then they'll be much better off than if they were just almost like ghosted. You know, they'll— they're much better off. All right. So that's number 10 is calm in the storm. 11 is you need to recognize that every decision that you make is important. It may not seem important, but especially if those decisions have a person on the other side of them, you know, who you're going to assign something to, uh, decisions about hirings and firings and organization shifts, uh, if it's a decision about, you know, um, um, monies you're gonna spend or not spend You know, every decision that you make, especially when there's someone on the other side of that decision, is a critical decision. And therefore, you really need to be intentional and recognize— almost like meeting your team members where they are— you need to recognize that, you know, someone is going to be impacted one way or the other, on the good side or on the bad side. And so you need to be intentional about thinking about that. So then you can communicate, you can engage, you connect, you can be transparent, you can lead them through whatever those decisions are that are being made. All right. So just, you know, 11 is recognize that your decisions, big or small, are critical as a leader now, because remember, you're shifted from being an individual contributor just sitting there trying to get the job done to now you have decisions that need to be made. You have plans that need to be laid out and implemented. You have a vision, uh, whether you have a team of 3 or you have a team of 3,000. All right, so you need to recognize that in yourself. And then lastly and most importantly, um, you have to recognize that you as a leader, you are there for your people. For your people, no other reason. Sure, you have, you know, business goals, you have program, project, task goals, absolutely. But you are there to enrich and develop and empower your people to be better at what it is that they're doing, to be better employees, to be better individuals, to be better contributors. So forth and so on. So you have to recognize, you know, they killed the phrase that, you know, was very popular back in like the '70s and '80s around people are your number one asset. That needs to come back into practice because I don't know about you, but companies, you know, I, I believe in automation, I believe in leveraging technology, so forth and so on, but at the same time I just get crazy when you get down to the human level, you actually can connect with a human and, uh, they don't have the training or, or they're, they sound and feel, you know, they're emoting being miserable or depressed or frustrated or even angry. And there's nothing, nothing worse. And you could walk into any store or pick up the phone and talk to, to employees of companies and recognize whether or not that company and those leaders are putting their people first. You can, you know, it just kind of oozes from employees when they are or when they're not. So number 12, though, uh, you know, though it's coming in last, uh, it's being spoken about last, it is the most important. You have to recognize that now shifting from an individual contributor to a leader, basic 101 is that you're there for your people. And if you can grasp that and really be comfortable with that and focus on that, no matter how hectic— and trust me, I get it, you know, you're just being bombarded and the phone's ringing, your texts are going off and people are demanding, you know, more and more and more from you, and you're just trying to, you know, survive. Well, there's a number of things that we could talk about, you know, in regards to that. And, um, if, and if you are in that latter state that I mentioned, then definitely reach out to me. You can go to coachmebernadette.com/discoverycall. We have— can have a conversation around that.. But even, you know, with all of that going on around you, you need to find the tools and the mechanisms and the processes to ensure, ensure that you're fitting and you're doing what's needed to put your people first and give them what they need, because that's your job as a leader. All right. So those are your 12 attributes of leadership. Basically 101 of leaders. Uh, and again, as I mentioned, pick 1 to 3 of them, look at all 12 of them, really sit with them, and then really try to feel through which of those 12 are you strong at, or are you really weak, and maybe some are in the middle. But then look at the weak, look at the ones that are trailing behind, Because again, if not all of them, every, you know, these 12 attributes all have a people element to it because that's what leadership is all about. It's also about how you're showing up individually, which then doesn't include your people. But, you know, you, you can look at, you know, all 12 and you'll see a people element.. But pick 1 or 3 of them and just start focusing on them. Start practicing, start recognizing, you know, where you're, you know, that gap is, where that weakness is in the way you are engaging, connecting, relating, supporting, mentoring, coaching your team members or not. And, you know, and kind of take a benchmark today and then come back to it in 3 months, come back to it in 6 months, come back to it in 9 months.. And if you do, and even if you feel like, okay, I've really moved the needle on one of these 3, then go, you know, and focus on the 2 others or add a 3rd from, you know, the list. But if you can really get laser focused on the basic 101 of leadership, these 12 attributes, then you will be a rock star and a powerhouse leader, as we say. Um, and you know, you— it will bring so much fulfillment and so much ease and breath into your career and into your personal life. All right, so again, reach out to me on LinkedIn. Let us know any comments or questions that you have. You can go to @BernadetteBoas. As I mentioned, if you needed to talk and get some tips and strategies of your own specific to you, you can go to coachmebernadette.com/discoverycall and schedule 30 minutes complimentary. We're just going to focus on you, uh, and then I am so always so happy and honored that you join us, um, on Shedding the Corporate Bitch, and I'll look forward to having you for another episode. Take care, bye.