2018 is here! What are your goals, challenges, coaching needs. Ask Me Anything!

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Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at BlogTalkRadio.com/SheddingtheBitch or share Share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910. Happy 2018, everybody! How are you? I'm so excited for the new year. Let's get 2017 in the rearview. Let's kind of put it in our box. Let's close that chapter and let's move into a new year. We get to hit the reset button. I need to get to hit the reset button. We all do. And just kind of start anew, start fresh, a clean slate, clean piece of paper, whatever the case might be. I am so, so excited that you're here with us as we go into the new year. Thank you to everyone for being with us throughout 2017 and obviously years past. It has been a great joy, just an absolute great joy, whether I am meeting you on the radio or in person at a speaking engagement or a work or training program. I just really appreciate you always lifting me up, always contributing and collaborating, and we want to do more of that this year. So, uh, Deborah— Deborah's out there of Parker House Virtual Services— she and I and the rest of my posse will be really getting creative in regards to how we can engage with you even more so this year. At the same time, we really need you to also engage, collaborate, reach out with each other and of course into the Shedding the Bitch community. And we want to hear what it is that you need, what it is that you want, what it is that you're looking for from anyone that is posturing themselves like I am as a coach and an inspirator and a motivator. And someone that really just wants to help you become the best you you can be. And of course, here on Chasing the Bitch Radio, we're always talking about really confronting, discovering and confronting those bitches of fear, insecurities, doubts, and negativities, which we all have. And I don't care who you are, we all have them. And the job here as a community and for myself in working with you is to help you not only to discover and confront those things, but then find the tips, tools, and sometimes tough love to actually be able to shed them so you can start creating and accelerating the life that you really want. And I was asked over the holiday at a cocktail party if I believed people can change. You know that saying, oh, you know, people can't change. Well, I totally, totally, absolutely disagree with that and believe that with your— with the will and the want and the desire to change or to have change, uh, anything is possible. So, and if, if we give up on that, then we might as well just put that last nail in our coffin and call it a day. So that's not what we do here at Shedding the Bitch Radio. We want to help to inspire, motivate, and educate you in ways that will bring transformative change. So I do, I want to kind of say thank you for always being there. If you are quiet or loud, if you are kind of just listening in versus chatting or contributing in, that's okay. We don't, we don't mind any of that. We just want you to get what you need to have a great and prosperous life. So this year we are going— our goal here is going to really be on exploding the Shedding the Bitch community, the Shedding the Bitch brand, and what it is that we're offering you. And like I said, that's going to take you getting involved as well. And as the weeks, you know, kind of move on, we will share those ideas and those new programs and those new services and solutions with you just so you can have all the tools and tips that you need for a rich life. Let's see, today, today I'm so excited, today is all about Ask Bernadette. So if you're new to the program, the first Tuesday of every month, and this time it's the first Tuesday of the new year, yeah, we take your questions, stories, and challenges that you might share with us on Facebook, you might share with us on Twitter. People send me direct emails to BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com. I get a lot of them on LinkedIn, and actually recently, and one for today, I've mentioned in the past a platform, an educational platform called Skillshare, and I've been getting questions there because I started, I launched one of my programs out on that platform. Again, it's skillshare.com. Feel free to join it. You can get all kinds of great training and educational programs out there, and they're really nice, short, brief, but very powerful video training courses. Basically, that covers the gamut of what, what it is you might need to know. So I'll be deploying more and more of those things there as well. So there's no there's no lack of ways to engage with the Shedding the Bits community, and I'll look forward to you doing that as we go into the new year. So today, like I said, is Ask Bernadette, and if you ever do have a question, story, or challenge, you can post it at any time during the month on our Facebook, Twitter page, or in any other forum, including sheddingthebits.com. I will respond to you, and I typically do, within a 6, 8, 12-hour period. Uh, worst case scenario, it's, you know, the next day. And at the same time, what we'll do is we'll bring them and gather them up and bring them right here to our first Tuesday episode of Shedding the Bits Radio. And that will give us opportunities to drill down into them even further. And you always have the opportunity to call in, 1-818-572-2910. And actually kind of have an active discussion about that question, story, or challenge, even if you posted it 3 weeks ago, 4 weeks ago. We'll make sure that we kind of address them right here on our first Tuesday of every month. Let's see, it's the new year. That's all really the rich news I have for today, and just blessings and prayers and well wishes for you to have a very prosperous healthy and safe and fun-filled new year. All right, we're going to take a break. I'm going to get some water because I can feel a scratch welling up in my throat. And when we get back, we'll dive into these questions for you on Ask Bernadette episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, confront and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sharpschools.org.

SheddingTheBitch.com.

Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to BlogTalkRadio.com/SheddingTheBitchRadio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. It is #AskBernadette on this particular episode, and that means that I have some of your stories, your questions, and your challenges, whether it's about your career, business, maybe you're a business owner, or your life, and I try to give you as many valuable, useful tools, tips, and sometimes tough love. And I had mentioned, excuse me, I had mentioned that there's a platform called Skillshare.com, so a shout out to them. And they're an educational platform. It's subscription-based, and you can go out and access a whole set of training programs via video and download them and take the courses at your pace, at your time. And it covers a lot of both creative, personal, and business topics, and they're just continuing to grow time after time. And I recently became one of their, their educators, their teachers, and have one of my programs out there. So I am now starting to get questions from those students, from those interested parties, in regards to their business, career, life questions, stories, or challenges. So the first one that came up is from Robin Slee, and he asked a question, perfect, perfect, perfect timing for the new year. His question is, what is your number one tip for being better organized in 2018? Well, let me just say that is a loaded, loaded question, and the reason why I say that is it really can cover any aspect of your life. Is he talking about getting organized around, you know, what his office might look like, what his house might look like, what his finances might look like, what his career goals or career workload looks like? Does it have to do with whether or not he can manage time effectively, or what tips, advice would there be around managing time. So since it's such a general question, I kind of started with a response to him in regards to a very general approach to figuring out how to get better organized in 2018. And you all know, if you listen to this program at all, you know that I'm really big on two things: writing down whatever it is that you're, you're kind of facing and you're dealing with. So then you can also write down and formulate a plan for getting that issue addressed. So the very first thing I would tell anyone, if you're trying to get better organized at any period of time, is to first get an understanding for yourself, let alone for me, for yourself as to what do you mean by getting better organized. So I always tell people, look at, um, the typical what, when, where, how, why, and start putting questions together in regards to those things to kind of help you, um, ask yourself questions that you can then answer and maybe discover, uh, what it is you're specifically asking about. So, excuse me, so if you want to know what getting organized means to you, then ask yourself, so what areas of my life do I feel as if I'm not as organized as I could be? What areas of my life, any aspect of it, are you feeling unorganized? Maybe it's stressing you out and getting you frustrated. You can then say, all right, where in my life or what— where in those aspects of my life am I unorganized? Is it your bills, your budget, your finances? Is it in the areas of time management, you know, whether or not you're always early or too late for something that you're supposed to be doing or showing up for? Is it in managing your kids and your workload at the same time? Is it something that you're working on in your job or in your business that is causing you to feel as if you're a little bit frazzled or not as organized as you could be? How is it, um, how is it impacting you? How is it, uh, kind of being a negative in your life? Uh, that's an important question that you actually want to come back to, because after you understand kind of the what— what am I disorganized about? Where in my life am I feeling unorganized? Uh, when is it that I'm most unorganized? Because again, some people have periods of the day or periods of the week, and then you can even add the month as to when they start kind of feeling things are getting out of control. So you really want to understand that and keep track of maybe when you feel the most productive and yet when you're feeling the most loosey-goosey, so to speak. And again, we said where. So it's what, when, where, How? And then why? Why is it important for you is a great question to ask. Why is it important for you to get organized, to feel organized, to have your so-called shit together? Why is it important? Now, that might sound like a very silly question and you're turning your, you know, you're rolling your eyes or even you're hanging up listening to the program. But that is the most important question that you're gonna wanna ask yourself after you've understood and kind of really thought about all those other more tactical questions is why is it important for you to get organized? You could ask that question for anything. Why is it important for you to have a particular goal? Why is it important for you to find that particular job? That why, and I call it the why spot, looking for your why spot, understanding your why spot, that why is going to create the commitment and even the urgency for you to want to address whatever that situation or issue is, and in this case, it's getting organized. Why is it important for you to get organized, or get better organized, as Robin said, in 2018? Now, it could be very different for you than for me. For me, it could be that I have a lot I need to get done. You know, I don't have children. I don't even have a spouse that I need to worry about. And I do have some community things, but I have so much just in my social and in my business life that I want to get done this year, and even in my fitness and nutrition life that I want to get done this year. I don't have time to, to feel frazzled. I don't have time to not be organized. So understand your— what is it that's causing you to be unorganized? How is it you feel you're unorganized? What— where in your life, in your career, in your business are you feeling unorganized? And then you could also ask yourself, what are you willing to do about it? And then ultimately say, why is it important for you to get organized? And that why will help you then to move on to the next recommendation. That would be once you get a really good picture and you're really being honest and transparent with yourself about this situation of being unorganized or organized, then you can get into the more of the, alright, so what am I going to do about it? So you actually come up with a plan. And again, if anybody listens to this program, I always talk about writing things down and putting together a plan to solve any, any issue you're having, or even to, to act on any goal or hope or dream that you have, however you might define it. So what is that plan? If you figured out why it's important for you and where in your life you are feeling unorganized, then you can put together solutions to those issues and address them. Since I don't know specifically what Robin's talking about, I can kind of go through the whole hour of our program trying to address and trying to figure out what that one or two areas might be for him. So I reached out to him after I answered his question. I then reached back to him and asked him to give me a little bit more specifics about it. However, for any of you listening, you can certainly just take these tips right now to consider your own thought, your own status, your own position on whether or not you're going into the new year in an organized manner. And if not, then what is that plan for you to, to address that? All right. Now, another question is going to be specifically around goals, not necessarily goal setting or goal planning. So I'm going to kind of expand on this, this concept of asking these questions to yourself and then asking why and putting it into a plan so then you can take action on it. So stay tuned and continue listening for, for that explanation and for those tips and pieces of advice. All right, we're gonna take a quick break and I will get right back into these questions for you when we return. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com www.facebook.com/SheddingTheBitchRadio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are taking your questions, stories, and challenges and providing you some tips, advice, and sometimes tough love as we kick off this brand new year and you've had an opportunity to hit that reset button, define whatever goals, dreams, hopes, desires you have for the year, and put it all together into an action plan for you to start acting on and staying motivated around. This next question that we're gonna talk about is going to touch on goals, but we're not gonna get into, 'cause we talk a lot about how to set goals. Using SMART goals. That's where kind of I ground myself in, not only for myself but for all of you. So you can always go back to any number of the programs, the episodes that we've had around SMART goals, and you can go to either blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio to find all of our past episodes on whether it was with me directly or with a guest that I've talked to and interviewed and asked for their expertise for you. Or you can go to sheddingthepitch.com to our radio channel, just scroll down, you'll find it, and you'll see all the episodes there as well. So Jody asked— and I apologize, I have a really bad scratchy voice today— so Jody is asking I'm not good with writing down goals, so what else can I do to still define them and accomplish them? Well, first off, Jody, shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Uh, you must be new to the program because I do give tough love around why it's important to get them out of your head and onto a piece of paper. So I will give you some insights on that. Deborah asked anyone, someone kind of what it is that they're working on, and they certainly could come up with that when they, you know, initiate answering that question that you have for them. When, when it gets into kind of the details of it, how are you going about it, what exactly are you doing, um, certainly there are, you know, there are people, myself included, that can rattle off all of, you know, kind of the big things that they know that they have to do in order to, to get that project done. Yet when you get down to then the— I'll call it the minutia, but the real critical aspects of any given plan— if you want to get from point A to point B, there has to be that very small minutia of details that allow you to know Everything from when are you going to do it, how are you going to do it, we're back to those, you know, all those header questions, so to speak. So when, how, who's involved, how long is it going to take each task along the way, that's when someone will get, even the most, you know, the brightest of persons, will get a little bit fuzzy. And that's simply because You, you can't— your brain is smart, your brain is a wonder, but it's not going to paint or really provide you that picture, that visual, that detail that you need in order to recall it easily. And at the same time, many of us, especially as we age, we have all this stuff in our head. We are bombarded with data and with information, and for us to be able to then pick out of the zillions and zillions of pieces of data we get each day, the pieces that we need to properly articulate in great detail what it is that we're working on and how we're going about getting it done, we start getting mushy. It's a very technical word, I know, but we start getting mushy. So what I advocate over and over again is to get those thoughts, get those ideas, get those tactical and strategic plans down on a piece of paper, not only will it relieve a lot of that stuff that's going about in your brain, uh, and causing kind of frustration and overwhelm and whatnot, but it will also allow you to have some, a plan that you can then even take even further as far as detailing it out in order to properly and effectively and productively execute on that plan and get from point A to point B in the most streamlined manner possible. So it's really important to get it out of your head and onto a piece of paper. Now, that said, for Jodie and for any of you out there, I certainly also appreciate that there are different styles, different, modes, different personalities of how one goes about getting something done. So you can look at any of the assessment tools out there and they'll always break them down into kind of these ideas that there are these creative people and these very tactical people. There are these people that like to do things off the cuff, which I'm putting Jody in that category, and there are some people that need to have almost a specific project plan, something, you know, that kind of tells them exactly what needs to get done. And then there's a bunch of people in between. Now, if you are on the right side of that, of that explanation, that being that anal project management type of person, there's tons of tools out there, including the ones that I talk about, like our RICH Plan, our RICH Plan goal-setting worksheet, that you can also go to ShitInTheBitch.com, go into our blogs, and you'll find a blog that provides that worksheet for you. And as a matter of fact, I'll get that posted before the end of today on a very, you know, on a most updated blog post so you can download that. So for those people that like to work off of a worksheet, there's tons of things out there for you. Now if you're on the opposite side, the left side of that explanation, and you're that creative, off-the-cuff type person, maybe that's because you're more visual and you like to see things in big picture. Well, then there's always an option to create yourself a vision board, as they call them. Anything that really kind of takes your ideas, takes your thoughts, takes your goals, takes your dreams, and puts it into pictures. And you can do that in many ways as well. You can find an application, even on your phone, that you can create a visual vision board. Or you can actually pull up a PowerPoint slide. This is what I do every year. I'm not one for taking a poster board. You could do that too. Take a poster board, cut out things from magazines, and put them on a board. That, you know, that's where it initiated from, and that's a great idea as well. What I tend to do is, because I really don't have magazines anymore, I tend to create that vision board on a PowerPoint slide. So pull up PowerPoint, go out online and find images that depict all aspects of your life that you want to create goals or have a vision around, and take— get those pictures and create on your computer that vision board. And then what I tend to do is take that image— that's now an image— you create that PowerPoint Vision Board and you create it as an image, and then I use that as my screensaver. So every time I open up my laptop, I have my vision board right there. And if I choose to, I can print it off and then put it up on the wall in front of my desk so I can also look at it there, or put it, you know, scattered about throughout the house. So if you're someone like Jody who isn't good at really defining SMART goals, for instance, and writing all that out and so forth and so on, and you're more higher level, I'll call it, more visual, then a vision board is certainly something that also helps. Now, I will tell Jody and anyone else, that vision board won't give you that plan we talked about. It's not going to tell you what to do, how to do it, when to do it, why to do it, and who to do it with as it pertains to an actionable plan against that vision. Now, I have clients though that after they've created that vision board, they then just kind of take each of those areas of that vision board they created and in their journal, in their notebook that they're using for work, they kind of then make notes against what needs to be done. That's an option too. Whatever the case might be, I definitely, definitely suggest that you get it out of your head and put it somewhere other than in your head because there's that saying, a dream is only a dream until you put it on paper and define a plan, and then it becomes a goal. And goals are things that people pursue and people achieve and/or maybe they misstep or miss expectations of that achievement, but whatever the case might be, a goal is more specific around an action plan, a timeline, and kind of a diagram as to how you're going to accomplish that goal. So I would just suggest to Jody and anyone out there, Don't not do something, but make sure that you're, you're kind of documenting it in some way, shape, or form. And again, I will post our rich plan document. It's our goal-setting sheet that goes through the SMART method of setting goals. And I'm not going to— again, I'm not going to describe that now because there's a number of other episodes, even go to our Shedding the Bits YouTube channel and you'll find videos of a whole walkthrough of the SMART method of setting goals. But if you want the worksheet, then I'll make sure that that's posted online before the end of the day. Just go to sheddingthebits.com/blog and you'll find a blog post with that spreadsheet on it. Okay, I hope that helps, Jodi. And for any of you who are trying to figure out what the best mode of execution is for you, because again, not everyone is, is good with spreadsheets or, or workbooks that detail everything out in great, you know, excruciating pain. Some people just are more visual and like to just see it as a, as a vision. That's why they're called vision boards. So let me know how that goes for you. Um, just have something for yourself, especially this is a perfect time of year for you to be working on that and putting it into, into action, into plans. And of course, we are here in the Shed the Bitch community, on Facebook, on Twitter, directly to me, to provide you that support, provide you tips and advice to provide you a kick in the butt should you need it. We're here to help you act on and accomplish those goals that you have. All right.

Okay.

We're going to take another quick break. When we get back, we're talking— what are we talking about?

We're talking—

oh, this is good. We have someone that feels that at the age of 62, the sweet age of 62, she's questioning whether or not it's realistic that she can start a new career, even go back to Is it too late? We'll address that when we get back. Talk to you soon.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistants and social media support for small to medium size businesses.

Businesses.

Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone on this first Tuesday of the new year. Happy New Year! Hit that reset button and start creating brand new dreams, or move the ones that you had in 2017 Forget whether or not you were successful or misstepped in pursuing or executing or accomplishing them, and just give yourself an opportunity to start fresh. So we're kicking off with our Ask Bernadette episode, taking your stories, questions, and challenges that you might be having in your career, maybe your own business, or some aspect of your life, and I am providing you some tips advice, and sometimes, just sometimes, some tough love around them. Now this next question I absolutely love, and I want to just grab the person and give them a big hug. Meredith is 62, and she's asking and questioning whether or not at 62 is it possible for her to be able to go back to school. She wants to study, or she wants to be able to master, um, being an x-ray technician. Excuse me, and she's just wondering if it's too late at 62, is it going to, you know, be beneficial at all for her to do that. And so first what I would have to say to that is, Meredith, you're not dead yet. So whether it's 62, 22, or 75 or even 85, there's always an opportunity for you to want to learn, want to grow, and want to start something new, different, and, and bigger than you've done before. Now, I think what you're really asking is, is it realistic that if you went and spent time going back to, to school or, or I'm not sure what courses you, you know, would be required in that space of an x-ray technician, but I think what you're really asking is, is it going to be worth your while? Is it going to be worth your investment for you to go back to school? And are you going to be able to find a job? Is anyone going to hire a 62-year-old? I'm sure that's what you're really asking, especially when people are looking to retire at 62, 65. Well, I think one, I want to address the fact that whether or not the norm is 62, 65 when it comes to retirement, although that's changed dramatically over the years, especially since 2008, 2009. If you choose that, you know, you want to continue working as long as you're able to work and capable of working, and that doesn't mean getting hired for it, we'll address that in a second, that more so means if you're physically capable of working, then you choose kind of your end date, so to speak, when it comes to work. Now, when it comes to whether or not people will hire you, that's a great question, and I don't know your field very well. However, if you think about when you go into a doctor's office or a medical facility of any kind, there's, there's people, technicians, and, and that I mean by anything from a, you know, a nurse to to a doctor, to the janitor, to the administration office. There are people of all ages, and there's always advantages to those more— I call them seasoned professionals— those people that pretty much are like over 50, I'll call them, that businesses and hiring managers look at as much more dependable, much more experienced, much more capable of doing the work that needs to get done. And so I wouldn't let— and this came up actually on another Ask Bernadette episode a couple months ago— I wouldn't let your age stop you. If you're, you're obviously a nurse of some type. Again, I don't know any more detail than what I had mentioned. Um, so there is nothing to say that you can't continue to add to that education, add to that expertise, add to that experience. Uh, how you go about it might be, um, different, might, uh, vary. It might cause you to look elsewhere if wherever you're working today isn't really open to kind of hiring someone at 62 who's brand new at something. I would think an x-ray technician, that's very specialized. Not to say that it can't be learned, not to say that you can't become what needs to be done and, you know, who you need to be in order to have that role. So I wouldn't let your age stop you and prevent you. If you do question it, you might as well start you could start talking to businesses that would hire X-ray technicians and ask them. And it might— you could always go to the ones that you're not looking to apply to if you don't feel comfortable going to those that you do. You don't want to, you know, all of a sudden get a no before you're even pursuing that, that new skill set. You can always go and, you know, kind of do a survey, so to speak, and assess the viability of that career move, that career change. At the same time though, I truly believe that if it's something that you want to do and if it's something that you know is going to enrich you personally and professionally, then, and it's going to expand your mind and your knowledge and your life experience, then I would just say go for it and don't let your, your age stop you. And you know, again, that goes for whether or not you're 22, 62, 82. Until they put that, that nail, that final nail in your coffin, I would be pursuing whatever it is that you feel a desire, a passion for. I would be pursuing it. All right, I hope that helps Meredith and helps anyone else out there that could be considering a life change, a educational journey of any kind, a new passion, a new desire, go for it. Even when people are saying no to you or rolling their eyes at you or shutting the door on you, if it's something that you want to do, just do it because, you know, at the end of the day, no one's living your life, no one's walking in your shoes. That coffin no one else is going to be in there other than yourself. So live your life because it is your one life, and we all know it goes really, really fast because it'll be 2019 before we, before we know it. So, uh, go for it is all I have to say, Meredith. All right, okay, we're going to move right into our next question, um, and it's from Kaylee. How do I get rid of people in my life that aren't good for me. And when I first read this, and actually she did provide more details, and it basically comes down to her having a family issue, and she just feels that she should be able to kind of walk away and not have anything to do with them, and yet she's also feeling the pull and the obligation that it's family, and how do you turn your back on family. So, Kaylee, I would suggest turn that, turn that question upside down. So you want to, you want to be resolving the issue of having people in your life that aren't good for you. The way to do that is to find the people that are good for you and bring them into your life, because what that will do without having to turn your back on anyone, it pretty much will take care of itself. And so let me paint you the picture. So you are having these issues with family members, maybe even friends, maybe coworkers, whatever the case might be. They're kind of pulling you down. And there is nothing worse to have in your life than people that are just negative all the time or speaking down to you or to other people or or just kind of being a dark cloud that always hangs over you. And unless— until that person kind of moves away, whether it's a short distance or long distance, does it seem to, um, have sunshine in your life again. So what I would suggest doing is go out and find the people that you want in your life. Go out and do the things and experience the, the areas of life that you're looking for, that'll automatically attract the people that, that you feel are better for you. And as you're doing that, you're probably going to then fill your day or fill your time in some way, shape, or form with those people. And then you're naturally just going to be busier and going to be more engaged and involved elsewhere than those, those, those people that are kind of causing that black cloud. Now, of course, you might live at home, and therefore, even when you're going out and you're kind of bringing the people into your life that you want in your life, there's, whether it's 5 minutes or 5 days, that you're going to have those other people around you. So all you can do there is notate or keep in mind one thing: you're not going to change them. So don't spend your time and your energy and your sunshine— don't spend the time thinking or trying to change them. What you need to do is just change your approach, your attitude, and the way that you engage with those people. So say, for instance, you do live with them, and maybe it's for any number of reasons. Well, you can kind of minimize your time that you have to be in an open space. Maybe you spend more time in your bedroom or in another part of the house or even outside the house. When you engage with them, you need to kind of ready yourself and tell yourself, as to how you need to shift, how you need to adjust your, your approach, your mental attitude about dealing and confronting with that individual. That way you then are kind of controlling your response and how you're going to react to them. And so for a long time, for instance, I'll tell you, I'll share with you that for a long time I had a particular friend that was pretty much the black cloud. If it was— if I said it was sunny, she said it was raining. If I said it was a beautiful day, it was a nasty day. If I was in a good mood, she would, you know, automatically say that she's in a bad mood. If I said that it was— the sky was purple, she'd say it was, you know, you know, red. Nothing, nothing, nothing I did seem to kind of like allow us to gel. And it took a very long time for me to recognize that because keep in mind, you attract who you are. So you, you know, you attract what you put out in the world. You put out nastiness, you put out dark clouds, you're going to get dark clouds. And for a long time, I did as much poo-pooing and putting out dark clouds as as she did. And therefore, until I started what I call the shedding, until I started kind of shedding and going through what you are looking to go through and start like wanting to change that dark cloud into sunshine, did I realize and recognize very starkly kind of her personality, her mood, her attitude. Her approach in life. And only then did I say, okay, I want something different. I want something more Sunny. And I had to kind of shift my thinking every time I was around her until eventually I did go out and start looking for those areas, those people, those experiences in my life that I wanted different. And then, like I said, it naturally took care of itself. And I, I am no longer, um, friends with her or engaging with her, and it's been a number of years now. So you simply have to find that frame of mind that you can put yourself in, um, in order for you not to be pulled down into their junk and for you to be able to rise above it and to kind of let it almost deflect off of you. And not penetrate your soul and your spirit and impact you in a negative way. Now I will share with you that, and this was a piece of advice that I had gotten from a psychotherapist I went to, she had advised me to just say, you know, when I was engaging with this individual, I love her, you know, despite, I love her despite, I love her despite, I love her despite, and, you know, really hanging on the words I love her, I love her, I love her, I love her. We had been friends for a really long time. It just got to a place where it wasn't a place I wanted to be anymore. And I'm sure she felt the same in some way, shape, or form. And so I would just kind of say that to myself, and I would feel myself shift. I would, you know, I would feel myself adjust and be able to be in, you know, be with her and engage with her and our friends without it negatively impacting me. As I was going off and, and finding those new experiences and those new people. So find your, find your frame of mind. Find a mantra. Find that affirmation that you can use to keep yourself grounded and in a good place as you're confronting and dealing with certain types of individuals until you're able to shed them once and for all. And move on to kind of the people in the life that you want to have. And maybe your situation changes because trust me, this is what we talk about when it comes to the Shift to Riches Formula. As you discover and confront and shed the things out of your life that you no longer want in your life and you start really honoring the riches of those things that are currently in your life that you want and that make you happy, and then you start creating and bringing in new things into your life that enhance and enrich all those beautiful things about yourself and the world around you, you will find the means, the universe will bring them to you as far as changes in your life that will no longer allow those negative things to impact you, severely especially impact you. Trust in yourself that as you're confronting these things, as you're confronting these people and having to adjust to them, that you will eventually move away from them. If it's not literally, you will be able to mentally, emotionally, you know, as well. All right. I hope that helps. I hope that helps. All right. We're going to continue with our final question based on the time that we have without even going to break. And this one is one that recently, like almost the day before yesterday, came up. And it's because it's been a conversation that I have quite often as I go out and about, even during the holiday season, because it's, you know, it's not going away. And it's the whole thing around sexual harassment. And the person was just kind of curious as to now that we are going into a new year and we are kind of creating shifts in our own thought processes. Is this whole sexual harassment thing going away or is it going to just kind of continue and create change? And I want to say that this was asked at our last Ask Bernadette, but I'm not sure. But I want to— it's been such a hot topic for the last couple of months. And now I think with the turn of the clock, so to speak, with 2018, it's still a top-of-mind question for people, especially for women, though I'm not saying that men aren't involved or aren't impacted in any way, shape, or form, because I actually know one or two that have been. So the beautiful thing about January of any year, but January of this year when it comes to this whole issue of sexual harassment, is and this is going to sound weird, but bear with me, is award season. Entertainment, movies, television, music award season. January kicks off kind of what they call the award season. It's pretty much January through, I want to say, early April, of which, you know, you have the Grammys and the Globes and then eventually the Oscars and everything else. And with that, is a lot of new— of new, not protests, but there'll be a lot of dialogue at every one of these events in regards to this whole issue of sexual harassment. So it's not going away. So that's the first part. It's not going away. And many of the people legally and in the media that have been covering this topic also say that the biggest shoe hasn't even dropped yet. So, you know, basically saying prepare yourself, there's going to be even more and more of it as we go through 2018. And all I can say to that is hooray, bring it on. Now, that said, is it going to create change? Well, I would certainly hope with all the energy and with all the conversations that it will., and I'm optimistic that it will. I became even more optimistic even as of this morning. And so if you have any interest in kind of keeping up with what is going on, and obviously this individual did, um, I don't even have a name attached to it, but anyway, then just simply go out to, um, out to a Google search and put in #TimesUp. #TimesUp. Now this just got formulated and announced yesterday, and what it is, it's a coalition of women predominantly right now in the entertainment industry. So it's actresses and it's agents, and I'll get back to why that's important. Yet this coalition of women who have formed this campaign of Time's Up is actually— it's not even a campaign, it's an organization now that's being formed, and it is just to address sexual harassment and sexual assault in the workplace. And they're putting money behind it. They've actually raised almost $13 million already to put towards defending those women and/or men who feel they don't have a place or a voice and/or the funds and the means to take up their issue of sexual harassment or assault in the workplace. So they are now really, you know, close to really focusing on sexual harassment and assault, but this organization is also going to address pay and gender disparity. And what, what I mean by that is it's obviously the, the pay gap between men and women, but the gender disparity is more so the number of women in leadership positions in the workplace. So they do plan to address a number of topics as it pertains to just women, but more so equality of women and men. In the workplace and out in every other industry out there. So this group and coalition of— there's like 30 women right now— of Time's Up, it's called, is going to then go across industry. So it's not just going to be entertainment, and within entertainment, it's not just TV or movies, but music and other aspects. And it's the agents. And why I bring that up is it is the agents It is the key people that are protecting the harasser, the person that's abusing and assaulting. And agents are the number one person between the, the harasser and the victim. They're the ones who are kind of turning a blind eye, sending them into a casting call or into a hotel room to meet somebody or out on a business trip. They're the ones turning a blind eye and kind of saying, oh, that's just Joe. So they decided that it has to— they have to be brought into this. The agents, men have to be brought into this. So look up Time's Up and you'll learn more about it. Again, just announced and released yesterday, and so I'm sure there's a lot still to be learned about this organization. Point being, there will be change. There will be requirements for workplaces to start addressing policy and procedure and how things are handled in the workplace. So to your question, yes, I believe there will be change and it is going to continue being a hot topic. All right. All right, we did it. Our first 2018 Ask Bernadette. And again, we take your questions, stories, and challenges all month long on Facebook and Twitter, through my LinkedIn page. Send it to me directly at BernadetteBoas@SheddingTheBitch.com, and then we'll bring them here to drill into them even further on the first Tuesday of every month of Shedding the Bitch Radio. So happy, happy everybody! I so look forward To a fabulous year with you. Deborah Parker of Parker House Virtual Services, who's out there, thanks you as well. And we look forward to having you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time for another episode. Talk to you soon, everybody. Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.