A Kick in the Butt for a RICH New Year - Tips, Advice and Laughs

Call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back. 818-572-2910. Well, happy, happy New Year's everyone. It's 2012. Woohoo! I wish I had some— maybe I should get the puppies barking. But I am so excited that you're here. I'm excited to be here. This is Shed in the Bitch Radio and I am Bernadette Boas. And it is the first Tuesday of a new year. And who doesn't love a new beginning? Come on. I mean, every Monday for me, I kind of— I always treat as a new opportunity to start something different, new, to kind of make up for maybe some missed steps that I took the previous week. But a new year is always, always a great time for a new beginning. And I'm so glad you're joining us, whether you are listening live on Chatty the Bitch Radio on BlogTalkRadio. And you can always call in at 1-888-572- . You might be watching this on video because I do video these. If you do follow me, you'll see that I also give you an opportunity to see my lovely face, and you could do that at Shedding the Bitch channel on YouTube. And then at the same time, if you happen to listen to this in the archives and you still have a question or a comment or debate that you would like to have with me, then you can always do that via sheddingthebitch.com. So there's a great many ways that you can reach out and collaborate and socialize, network, and get some support here at Shitting the Bitch Radio. And I'm just like thrilled. Not only is it a beautiful though cold day in Atlanta, it's so sunny I had to kind of shut all my shutters in my home office where I'm currently recording this episode. But at the same time, it's just beautiful. Cold, it's probably the high is gonna be 38 today. At the same time, it is nice and sunny and bright and it gets Everybody's, you know, juices flowing, even the dogs. And so I'm just kind of all pumped up and ready to go today and for the year. So I hope you are too. And I know that with January 1st, there's a great many people who debate on whether or not they should set resolutions, whether or not they should establish goals, or are resolutions and goals the same thing? And I kind of wanted to take today to kind of talk about that and to kind of share some tips and advice and some thoughts from me. But at the same time, I would love to hear from you. Also, go to our Facebook page and leave comments. You can go to Bernadette Boas Author Speaker, which is my page out on Facebook. You can even go to Shedding the Bitch on Facebook and/or Twitter and leave your comments. And we always hashtag #ShedTheBitch, so if you're interested in kind of reaching out and communicating and dialoguing with us But so January 1st comes along, and before that, for instance, I spent the last 21 days of the year blog posting on a pretty much a daily basis, slowed down as the, as the holiday neared and my schedule got a little bit crazed. But overall, my intention was, and my goal and commitment to you was to provide you kind of a roadmap along the way of 3 weeks in from the big New Year's date to kind of really help you formulate a plan, help you formulate whether it is resolutions, goals, or commitments that you're making for yourself, or if you just need a little bit of a focus or a little bit of a kick in the butt. I'm always good for kicks, kicks in the butts, but at the same time Also, kind of make sure that any of us that advise or coach or speak and motivate and inspire you around goals and resolutions, we also have to keep in mind that it's not easy and there's a lot of sabotaging, a lot of self-talk, a lot of bitches in your hearts and your minds that keep you from really kind of sticking to your goal and objective. And there's tons of people out there that talk about getting unstuck. I don't care what you call it. I just wanted to, over those 21 days, and obviously on a day-in, day-out basis, provide you some support and help in regards to making commitments, goals, dreams, objectives for yourself, and then sticking to them. So I kind of started off the 21 days out, counting down, providing you kind of a— you almost can look at it as a step Step 1, step 2, step 3, though that wasn't intended. It's just there's a natural kind of process that you would go through in order to set up some, uh, goals and objectives for yourself. And at the same time you're doing that, you're also making sure that you're paying attention and recognizing and being aware and present about those things that get you hung up and those things that sabotage your success. And those bitches that kind of consume you to where you— some are even, you know, paralyzed in fear or uncertainty or confusion. Others are merely just needing some kind of hand-holding, and maybe they even need some tips and advice as to how to do it. And I get a lot of questions about that, like, well, Bernadette, it— you know, you always talk about it, but how do you really go about doing it effectively and to make sure that it does stick? So, should you want to go through those, those 3 weeks, 21 days of blog postings, there's tons of tips and tools and advice that I give you each and every day. Like I said, I think I probably did it for 16 of the 21 days, but I did it in the, in the progressive, so we covered everything. We covered everything from getting ready, so mentally preparing yourself. For establishing your— even, you know, even defining, let alone executing your goals and your resolutions and your dreams. And then we talked about how do you then define them? How do you actually write them out? How do you actually detail them to the point where they become tangible? You can smell them, you can feel them, you can taste them, you can hear them. You can just visualize everything about that goal and objective because You know, as many, many experts preach in The Secret and Law of Attraction and NLP, they'll all talk about the fact that you really need to be able to physically and visually see your end goal in order for you to obtain them. And I believe that too. I'm a big visual— visualization person. So we talked about that, then we talked about your sabotagers. We talked about you really tapping into and recognizing when you get slipped up, when you get stuck, when you get weak in your heart or your head about the goal or objective that you want to pursue. I mean, very simply, just think about how many people establish fitness or diet resolutions at the New Year. And I'm even following, and I've spoken about it before, I'm part of a program, I even joined it for myself, called The Pink Method. They have a great collaborative forum where you can go and you can kind of reach out and touch, and whether you're looking for support or you're wanting to give support, they have a great collaborative forum for doing so. Well, even today, we're January 3rd. There were many, many people on there already saying they started yesterday because they started on Monday, January 2nd, and they were saying that they're already slipping off. They're all— they're beating themselves up already. Day one and a half, maybe they're already beating themselves up about not sticking to their goal and objective. And so I just kind of put out some messages out there about thinking about why. Why are you Slipping up. But more importantly, what I talk about in the blog, and I believe it's day 18, don't quote me, but if you go back through the blogs, you'll find one that's called the WHY spot, finding your WHY spot. And not like your G-spot, guys and girls, but your WHY spot, W-H-Y. And I look— I have you look at it in two ways. Why Why is a goal and objective important to you? For instance, with this Pink Method group, why is losing weight, why is being 10 pounds thinner or healthier or fitter, you know, why is that important to you? Because if you really understand why it's important to you, then the why you're sabotaging yourself, you'll want to constantly take a look at. You're going to want to constantly be aware of. What are those things that are, you know, slipping you up? And whether that's daily journaling or daily, uh, kind of in the moment thinking through, why am I so tempted to eat that piece of chocolate cake when I'm trying to, you know, keep this diet? Or why am I falling victim to the hunger pains? A lot of them were talking about they're really hungry. And so I would have them even think about why are they so focused on their hunger? Are they really hungry or are they feeling the kind of the effects, the deprivation of the typical calories they're taking in, which could be exorbitant compared to what they should be taking in. So are they detoxing from the sugar that they're accustomed to or even the caffeine? Quit drinking Diet Coke, uh, several weeks ago. Fifth or sixth attempt I tried to do it in the past few months, but quite successful I think now. But you know, I kind of was suffering from the headaches or the just the maybe even the, uh, self-initiated anguish that just because I was depriving myself of something that I really enjoyed, I was kind of creating these almost like psychosomatic feelings of headaches and hunger and just lethargy or any other feelings that you might have. So you really want to understand both sides. Why is a goal or objective important to you? And then why are you then allowing yourself to fail at sticking to that goal or objective if your why is so big. If your why is so important, then why are you allowing yourself to kind of take a step backwards? And steps backwards are fine. And I don't even like to use the word fail, which I did a few minutes ago, but I don't even like to use that word because we're all gonna have missteps. We're all gonna, you know, falter in our quest for anything, no matter how small or big. So, I prefer to look at it as just a misstep of which then you just pick yourself up and start over again. So, even in these forums that I've been watching and contributing to, I'm even reading those individuals that have said, "Okay, I slipped up, but you know what, today's another day and I got back on the horse this morning and I'm, you know, really kind of refocusing." And I have to do that for myself. The reason why I joined this program is just to keep myself motivated. So, you know, I talk about Joan, my business coach, quite a bit, and she's more than a business coach too because she does help with my mental games that even I play with myself. And yet I'm really good at coaching other people not to allow that to happen to them, and yet sometimes I slip up myself. So 2012, a brand new year, January 3rd, we're early in. Yet don't let that also be a sabotager or a bitch to you, because often people will also say— and I tend to do this quite a bit myself, I'll, you know, put it out there— I'll say to myself, okay, I got 12 months till the end of the year to accomplish whatever it is I want to accomplish. Well, the next thing you know, it's 11 months, and then the next thing you know, it's 6 months, and then next thing you know, it's 3 months. And then take that into you know, a big project or a big, you know, activity or event that you're planning? Are you one to procrastinate and all of a sudden have to do it at the last minute and therefore some things might, you know, get sacrificed? Or are you one to really plan it out, you know, in advance, giving yourself enough time to really get it done effectively to where less stress, less mistakes, a lot more energy and a lot more focus and confidence built into the fact that you had a good plan laid out and you had it timed out to where then you were effectively able to execute on that plan. So as you kind of either continue executing on your resolutions that might have just begun 3 days ago— some people don't even believe in resolutions, they don't like to set them because they, they don't want to set themselves up for failure. And I do have a response to that. Boo-hoo on you. It doesn't— you know, if you're giving up on even, even setting resolutions or setting goals or objectives for yourself, then you, you're just basically throwing any great opportunity out the window for yourself. It's okay that if day one you're already misstepping Just make sure day 2 you're not. And then if day 2 you do, just try again on day 3. But never give up trying, because then you might as well just kind of lay down and just let the world pass by you and let your life pass by. So don't get hung up before you even get started at the fact that you're gonna fail. If you're already setting yourself up for failure, guess what you're gonna do? You're gonna fail. So instead Learn from your past kind of missteps. Learn from your past giving up on your resolutions. Learn from your successes and what you have achieved, and use all of that to kind of get yourself going forward and moving forward toward a resolution, a commitment, a promise you make to yourself. I did find that interesting. A woman, I think it was on Facebook, I put out a posting that said, "Oh, you know, so who has already, you know, kind of broken your promise to yourself or actually just kind of, you know, given up on your resolution?" I didn't use the word promise. And it was funny, the responses I got. And, you know, a friend of mine, Kay, she's on the radio on this show quite a bit, but she even came back at me and was like, "What do you mean? It's only day 2!" And yes, There were other people that jumped on that said, I've already given up, or I didn't even set them. And then one individual, she had said, Bernadette, I don't make resolutions, I make promises to myself. And that way, you know, if I were to break that promise, I'm breaking it to myself, which isn't what I want to do ever, you know, which I thought was good because You know, the resolutions just seem too trivial, too frivolous, too meaningless to have any weight behind them for someone to hold on to them, or for this particular person to feel that they were going to hold on to that resolution. And maybe over the years, or over the decades and centuries, resolutions have gotten kind of diminished. So if you do need to call them promises, if you need to call them commitments, if you need to call them goals, whatever you want to call them. One, be sure that they're just for you, because it's not important if you're giving them up to anybody else. It's not that— it's not— that's not what's important. It's whether or not you're giving up or you're pursuing them for yourself. And therefore, maybe you'll kind of stick to it when you know that you're giving up on yourself. And I would hope that every one of you out there listening or watching have enough self-confidence and feelings of self-worth and love for yourself that you don't want to give up on you. And therefore you want to keep your goals, resolutions, commitments, promises, whatever it is that you, that you call, call them. Okay, so if you're watching this in archive or listening to this in archive and you have any thoughts or opinions or debate or just, you know, insights to this subject, I'd love to hear from you at sheddingthebitch.com. You can go to Facebook, you can put it out on Twitter, whatever the case might be. You can even join us here next Tuesday at noon on Shedding the Bitch Radio and give us your input. Because as the year progresses, we'll continue with our radio show every Tuesday at noon Eastern Time, Shedding the Bitch Radio, and yet at the same time We're going to have some real focused dialogues and focused topics and on occasion focused speakers and— not necessarily speakers, but experts that can help you in these areas. Because what I really learned this past year, and that you have actually taught me and informed me, or even, uh, just kind of advised and asked for some specific topics of discussion is that you really want to learn about how you can really discover who you are, you know, the good, the bad, the ugly, the strengths, the weaknesses, the opportunities for growth, the areas for improvement, all, you know, you just want to learn about you because you know that until you really understand who you are, can you really kind of strongly, boldly, and confidently definitely confront and shed whatever it is that, one, you're looking to get rid of because they're bitches or they're things holding you up, or two, their strengths and, and, uh, talents and accomplishments and skills that you really, um, own. And yet you're not necessarily— I, I guess I should say you actually possess these skills, talents strengths and accomplishments, and yet you're not owning them, and you're not, you know, promoting yourself boldly and fearlessly and confidently in order for you to really leverage those skills and those talents. And then of course we want to kind of just continue really creating and helping you accelerate the riches in your life. So you all— a lot of you have asked me about the process and the methodology, not only that I went through myself, but now that I coach and train and speak on. And therefore, we're going to dedicate the show here on Tuesdays at noon Eastern time, as well as I'll make sure— of course, the website, sheddingthebitch.com, has tons of materials across the board in the process. But then we'll have events and retreats and bitch parties, and we're going to have some virtual chats and then some face-to-faces that you'll be able to contribute to and participate in. So I'm so thrilled that a new year is here, a new opportunity to really engage with the audience and to hear what it is that you want to learn from, you want to collaborate on, you want to share, you want to debate, you want to be engaged with. And that's what I am dedicated, determined, and committed to you this— in this coming year. I've always have been, don't want to seem as if I don't, but I am really wanting to hear what you want that can make your life more rich, more prosperous, and more full in any way, shape, or form. All right, so a few other things I wanted to talk about is going through the, the blogs and the, and the tips and the advice that were put out there on the blog since, um, 21 days prior to the New Year. So I guess that's roughly, um, the 10th or the 11th, um, that it was out there. Yeah, I can find that out, but I won't hold us up to do that. But, um, if you go back through there, you'll see that yes, we talked about how to create goals, how to address your your sabotagers, or your bitches as we call them. But at the same time, one thing I did mention earlier that I really want you to focus on too is a good number of us know we're skilled and talented and we have a lot of achievements and a lot of accomplishments in our life. But as I said, we don't necessarily honor and own them. And if you're looking for a way to overcome overcome any insecurity or self-doubt or lack of self-esteem, or just, you know, maybe you've been through the swirl of this past few years and maybe you've lost your job, are really dealing with some financial situations or family issues or work issues, whatever those things are that are really kind of clogging, you know, your heart and your head, then One thing to kind of really create energy and focus and confidence in yourself is to really also pay attention to those skills and talents and achievements that you've already accomplished or you already own and possess. Because too often we're always looking at the negative. When we look in the mirror, we're not highlighting the fact that, you know, we have beautiful blue eyes or beautiful long hair or You know, I act, you know, no, none of, rarely do very few of us say, oh, I really like my, you know, the rolls of my belly, you know, or the thickness of my thighs, whatever the case might be. But at the same time, we should, we should appreciate those because, and we should honor them and own them because it's with those things that make us who we are. And at the same time, if you're lacking skills or talents So for instance, if you are out of a job and you can't seem to find a job within your skills and your talents, maybe you're overqualified, maybe people are telling you you're underqualified. Well, guess what? If you really know tho— those things, if you know where you're overqualified or underqualified, you can then certainly go out and find new skills and new talents. You can get new education and new training. You can get the support that you need in order to fill those gaps. Or to enhance what you already have. If you are very skilled and very talented, and yet just one more thing would allow you to go into a different direction, then focus on that, you know, focus on those strengths and those talents, and then find that, that one additional thing that could take you to the next level. At the same time, the achievements and accomplishments that you already have, have in your life maybe through work, maybe from giving birth, maybe from, you know, losing that weight or getting married, finding the perfect, you know, partner and spouse and friend, uh, whatever, building a beautiful family, uh, establishing a successful business. Maybe it's new and it isn't even in generating revenue yet. At the same time, it's your passion and your dream, and you are fully fully, you know, bought in. Use all of those things. Focus on those things as opposed to focusing on the negatives, the things that you lack, and kind of use that as the energy, motivation, and confidence to kind of then say, okay, I now need to look at where I need to kind of buck up or kind of educate up, or maybe I need to friendly up. I mean, that was my case, you know. I had to get over all the chip on my shoulder or the angst that I felt towards certain things. So I began to look at all the positives, all the things that really make me who I am, and all the things that I remember from childhood through my, you know, adult years as to what kind of makes me special to other people. And it was that energy, and it was that recognition of those things and being aware of those things and owning them and acknowledging them, the strengths, not being cocky or conceited about it, just being, you know, owning it and knowing it and believing in me then allowed me to kind of address kind of the ugliness that I needed to kind of get over. So I want you in this new year to also really focus on you, whether you're married, whether you have kids, whether you're you know, a big individual in the community. What, you know, it doesn't matter. What you need to pay attention to is you, and you need to then kind of really take the time to develop who you want to be. And so 2012 at Shedding the Bitch is all dedicated to you. And so check in with us every Tuesday at noon here on Shedding the Bitch Radio and join us whether you're doing it live or archived. Check out our videos that we do at someone's Shedding the Bitch channel on YouTube. And then of course, go to sheddingthebitch.com. There's new forums out there of certain topics that you can join in. There's the methodology and some great resources, whether it's assessments or tools or handouts. You can see the old webinars. You can go to the archives of the radio shows. And there'll be more and more as we go forward. And then pay attention to the events calendar. I come to Houston. Houston, if you're out there, I come to Houston on January 19th for one of our Shedding the Bitch parties. And if you want to hold a party in your area or want to learn more information about that, you can go to sheddingthebitch.com/letsparty and you can find information there about that. But 2012 is going to be a great year to be engaged, to network, to collaborate, to support. And everyone here at sheddingthebitch.com and everyone at Ball of Fire Inc., the parent company, we are looking forward to helping you discover, confront, and shed all the angst, attitudes, negative mindsets, or fears that you have in your head or your heart so you can create and accelerate the riches in your life. And at any time you need to reach out to me, I can be found basically anywhere. So reach out to me, Bernadette Boas. I'm your leader and ambassador of the Shedding the Bitch movement, and I would love to help you have a very rich and prosperous 2012. So stay tuned for our events, for our programs, for our chat, virtual chats, for the collaborative forums out on sheddingthebitch.com. And look forward to a great, great 2012 wherever you are. So from Bernadette Boas and everybody else here, have a great day. I'll see you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time at Shedding the Bitch Radio on BlogTalk. Thanks everyone.