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Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create and accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at BlogTalkRadio.com/SheddingtheBitch or share share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone! How is everybody doing post-Oscars, post-Oscars, which we'll talk about in a second. At the same time, it is a gloomy, rainy day here in Atlanta, Georgia. And it's been raining probably since, like, yesterday morning. But I'm not going to complain because I just started kind of, I guess, waking up and paying attention to the world that the Northeast and a good part of the country are getting hit with some severe storms. And so all of a sudden on Facebook, because I, as you all know, my 11 brothers and sisters are up in the Philadelphia area, Delaware, Philadelphia area. And I'm all of a sudden seeing these notes on Facebook about them being out of power for like days, not just like an hour or two, which we experience here in Atlanta, but multiple days. And they're expecting to get another 6 to 9 inches over. I believe it comes in tomorrow, probably the same time when we get a really cold blast coming through Atlanta. It's probably heading up north. So I just want to do a shout out to everybody, no matter where you are around the world, stay safe, be smart. To my family, you know, stay off the roads, stay warm. Without that electricity, I know many of you went to a hotel room. You know, don't, don't try to bear it and bear that cold. Get somewhere safe, warm, dry, all that kind of good stuff. But it's just a rainy day here, which kind of creates some challenges because I had mentioned over the last couple weeks since my Charlie passed away that the universe has been sending me a lot of dogs. A lot of my friends all of a sudden are going on trips and going out of town. And so they're all kind of asking if I want some puppy companion. So right now I have that little Coco I might have mentioned a couple weeks ago that I found in the park tied to a trash can. So I brought her in and it looks like I will be adopting her.

Woo-hoo!

But I also— she's only about 8 pounds. She's one of those long-legged Chihuahuas. But then her buddy Simon shows up yesterday, I believe it was, and he's a 150-pound Greater Swiss Mountain Dog. So the two of them are hoot. I probably should post videos or pictures of them up on our Shit in the Bitch page. So you might hear some chatter in the back because without the sunshine and the dryness outside, they are in my studio. So, and it seems as if they've both woken up from their morning rest, and they're starting to get feisty, so you might hear some growls, um, throughout the program. Uh, let's see what else. I mentioned the Oscars. Um, many of you know I'm a screenwriter and, uh, have been kind of tapping my toe into the entertainment industry over the last 5 or 6 years. And of course, so the Oscars have become more and more, uh, interesting— I'll call it interesting— to me. And just kind of now paying attention to, you know, the screenwriter awards and the director awards, that kind of thing. Not as much the fashion and all that kind of good stuff, though it's fun to watch. But I was really excited this year knowing that, you know, on the heels of the Time's Up and the Me Too movements and everything that's going on in Hollywood, was very interested to see how this was all gonna play out. And I think Jimmy Kimmel and the whole show did a fabulous job in regards to not making it so politically charged as much as just raising their voices and really making some powerful statements very nonchalantly. So for instance— and I'm drawing a blank on the star's name— it was up for— you know, she was announcing the director's awards. And she— so instead of the typical kind of announcement, she said— because it happens to be the first female director nomination since like 2004 or something. So she happened to say this— the star, that I'm still drawing a blank on her name— she happened to say, oh, well, you know, the fabulous work of these four men and Greta Garbo, I believe is her name. And it was just emphasized as, you know, as an individual, as a female, and calling out her name versus lumping them into just all men was, well, got quite the response from the audience. And then, you know, they just overall, Francine McDermott, who won the, Best Actress award, she asked all the female nominees across all categories to stand up. And it was quite jarring how few women in the entire audience were on their feet against all the men in the room. But there was those kind of subtleties. And then even I just was thrilled— I haven't seen Black Panther yet. If any of you have, would love your comments. On our Shedding the Bitch page, even on our Twitter Shedding the Bitch page. I'm looking forward to watching it. I just haven't had the time and haven't really been in a place where I can get out to the theater. But I'm just thrilled at the response and at the results and at the statements that that movie is making, not only for the African-American community, but more so for just overall minorities, women. And it's just about time. That we are kind of putting those individuals, those representations up on the big screen, even the small screen, so the young people of today and yesterday can kind of see themselves and what opportunities they have for themselves. So it was all very exciting, and all I will, will say on that note is just we have to continue raising our voice, even though I've been in meetings over the past, like, month or so.— and something will come up in regards to the #MeToo or the Time's Up or, you know, diversity and inclusion, and men, especially the white men, will kind of make some obvious gestures towards their frustration over it. And you know what? Especially as we women, we have to ignore that. We can't be intimidated by it. And we have to continue appropriately raising our voices and making sure that these issues are brought out and are spoken about and are recognized. For instance, Jimmy Kimmel, which I absolutely love the way he did this, he even brought up the whole controversy regarding Mark Wahlberg and Michelle Williams. They had to do that remake of that movie, The Richest Man in the World, because of Kevin Spacey being replaced. And they kind of highlighted the fact that Mark Wahlberg was paid like $1.5 million for that remake, that 5 days of shooting. His agent negotiated $1.5 million for him. Michelle Williams basically got union pay, which is about $80, if not a week, it's a day. Something piddly, just something absolutely pathetic. What was more unbelievable about that, absurd about that, was they are both represented by the same agent. And I hope to God she fired the living crap out of her agent, because just the thought that, you know, they would go, go to bat for Mark and not for their other client being a female is just absolutely absurd. Now, there are a lot of people would talk about the fact that, well, Michelle should have spoken up, but quite honestly, she didn't know about Mark, and Mark didn't know about her. Those kind of negotiations are kept kept, you know, individual, so to speak. So anyway, so the point being, I think they've handled all of those topics of discussion in the Oscars very, very profoundly, but not in your face, not to where you, you know, it just felt, you know, ugly and just exhausting, because I'm sure a lot of us are exhausted by it. But we, we have to just maintain our consistency in our voice. I'll leave it at that. OK. So I hope you enjoyed it. I thought it was a great show. I thought it was very well done this year, more so than many other years in the past. And it was fun to be in a room full of female writer-producer friends of mine here in Atlanta. I typically don't go to an Oscar party, but I was invited out to one. And it was fun to be around that energy while watching it. So this is about you, though. This is about you. This is about you. This is about you. This is Ask Me Anything. I have some fabulous questions and I want to thank all of you for them that we're going to be discussing. We have a number of questions all about both business and personal. We're going to be talking about how you can leverage, you know, a radio or a podcast similar to this one for your business, or even I threw in there for your personal brand. How can you take risks when you're riddled with fear? And what makes a powerful pitch? And I'll describe why that was an important question that I thought, you know, we should definitely discuss today. And then the last one— actually, there's two. The last— the next one would be, what do you do when it's time to cut ties with a friend or a relationship, an employer, or just someone individual? And then the last one just came up this morning, actually, and that is, what do you do if a potential client or a business partner that you're working with or you're wanting to work with. What if they showed up 3 hours late for your meeting and, and you're in a room full of people that you're trying to kind of entertain and stall and engage on other matters, but this individual is key to that meeting and that outcome of that meeting, and yet they're 3 hours late? What would you do in that situation, and what would you do with that relationship? Going forward. So we have a lot to talk about, so we're going to take a quick break. I'm going to take a quick sip of water, and when we get back, we're going to dive into all of these Ask Bernadette Anything. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear. Fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette Boas' book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at MediaRelations@SheddingTheBitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone, it is Ask Me Anything today. I take your questions, stories, and challenges, whether it has to do with your job, a relationship, maybe it's about your own business, maybe it's about you raising money, it's about you trying to seek your next career or opportunity, whatever the matter might be, whether it's myself and my expertise or if we have to reach out to my grid, I call it, my grid of experts, we want to get you the tips, advice, and sometimes tough love in order for you to really be able to move forward and accelerate your success. So that's what it's all about. You can always, all month long, all year long, post your questions, stories, and challenges to me on Shedding the Bitch Facebook or Twitter. I get a lot of questions via LinkedIn, and I get a lot of questions from just being out and about, like I was this past week, and you'll, you'll kind of understand why that is. And then at the same time, people also email me me directly at BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com. You can call in live even if you're sitting there listening to the program and you have a question, 1-818-572-2910. For those of you who ask me often, you do not need to give me your name should you, you know, want to keep it to yourself and talk anonymously. I cannot say that word, never can. But there's a lot of ways for you to get the support that you need, and that's why we do this. Now I take your questions and give you feedback all month long. The minute I see it online, or, or Deborah of Parker House Virtual Services might make me aware of something, I'll respond immediately. Yet at the same time, I might bring it if, you know, if we need questions and/or we don't— we have an opportunity to drill into your question even deeper right here onto the program the first Tuesday of every month.

Them.

All right, so there's a lot of ways for you to interact with us. So let's get into it, shall we? All right, uh, the first question I found very interesting because I think, um, most of you, including myself, deal with this and yet are even a little bit insecure, have your own bitches of insecurity, uh, to kind of even ask about it. So I was very, very excited to have someone kind of open up their, their heart and want to get this solved. So the question was, how can I take a risk when I am riddled with fear? Now this is a question, even though the individual may not know it, this is a question that basically keeps me very busy with my clients and with my roster of those that I work with, because this is kind of the bottom line. This is the the, the foundation of what it is that many coaches like myself, uh, kind of work on, uh, with our, with our clients. Uh, so it's not something that anybody should be ashamed of or embarrassed by, or even at the highest level, because keep in mind, I coach individuals as well as senior executives. And when you really kind of peel back the the onion, so to speak, on what it is they're trying to achieve or address, it comes down to this, you know, wanting to take those risks, wanting to pursue their goals without fear, without doubt, without insecurity, without negativity, all those bitches we always talk about. So what can you do if you are riddled with fear and yet there's this big, you know, thing you want to go and pursue? Well, you'll learn very quickly from me, uh, we don't focus on the fear. So I'm going to really kind of lay out for you exactly what I do with my clients. So you can make note, you can scribble all you want, you can come back to this episode on occasion. And this is really what I would do with you if you came to me with this question and/or something that I recognize really kind of comes down to this question. And what I do, which we talked a lot about, is I try to get out of your emotion toward this type of question and get it very logical, get it black and white. Actually, you know, get it out of your head and onto a piece of paper, because as you know, I'll always say it's much easier to look at something like this in writing in black and white it becomes very logical, the path that you take to solve it, than if you would just keep it in your head and let it, you know, swarm around in there affecting every aspect of your being. And excuse me, excuse me. So I'm going to walk you through some questions that you can make note of and that you can always kind of keep, you know, by your side And whenever you get into a situation where you're just really trying to work through your own insecurities, your own doubts, your own fears, these are the type of things that, you know, any— excuse me— any coach would have you work through for yourself. Okay, so again, we don't focus on the fear, and I'll talk about fear toward the end of this, this explanation. You'll have to excuse Excuse me, let me just take a quick sip of water, which is never easy to do when you're on a radio program. But okay, so this is what I want you to look at. So I first want you on a piece of paper— remember, out of your head onto a piece of paper. Even if you're listening to this, go back. If you don't have pen and paper right now, go back and actually write it out. You know, focus on it. Don't let it— you know, don't answer these questions in your head. Actually put it down on paper because you'll be amazed at to how logical it all of a sudden looks, and it's not as big and scary as you, you made it out to be because you, you know, kind of just let it, let it wreak havoc on you. Okay, so the first question would be, what is it you're wanting to do? What is that risk? In the case of this individual, what is that risk that you're looking to take on? Maybe you're looking for a new job. Maybe you want to leave an employer you've been with for a long time. Maybe you want to kind of take on a totally new career position, uh, company, whatever the case might be. Maybe you want to start your own business. Maybe you finally want to take that risk that appears scary to you, um, when it comes to a relationship or when it comes to money or when it comes to buying a house. Whatever the case might be, what is it? So lay it out and write it out. What is it? So it actually gets translated into what is that goal— that, because that's that risk that you're looking for. It is actually a goal that you have for yourself, or a pursuit. You can look at it like that. What is that pursuit? So you kind of describe that in as little or as much detail as you want. Now, the next thing I want you to focus on and want you to write down and, and actually explain for yourself is what is it about that that gets you excited?— well, you know, and we'll get to why is it important, but right now I just want you to think about, and I really want you to feel it, what is it about that risk, about that pursuit, about that goal that gets you excited? And maybe excited is not the emotion, is not the expression, so define whatever it is. So if you have a money goal, it might be that you're not excited, it might be that you're, you know, feeling at peace or calm or stable or secure or free. From that burden. But what is that emotion that you have all tied up in this? But remember, we're not talking the negative, we're not talking about the fear, we're talking about what is it about that risk, pursuit, or goal that gets you just all fired up, okay? So then ask yourself, why is it important? Why is it important for you to do this? Maybe it's something that you've always dreamt about. Like if you ever sit down, I sat down and watched The Voice last night, and they'll always say, oh, this is something I've always wanted to do. They're 17 years old, by the way. But then they'll say, oh, this is— I've always wanted to do this since I was a, a kid, and this will be my last opportunity. Uh, and it, it bothers me when even the 50-year-olds say that. But anyway, so why is it important for you to actually go out and put yourself out there to take on this risk, this pursuit of this goal? Why is it important? Maybe it's a stability for your family. Maybe it's, um, just a passion that you always have. Maybe you want to give back. Maybe you want to serve, uh, whatever that the case might be. Now you'll notice as you're answering and really focusing on these questions for yourself, you, you, you have to be feeling excited. You have to be feeling clearer. On it. You have to be feeling like, um, you're getting very energized, very, uh, determined around it, um, because you're focused on really, you know, what it is about this thing that is really going to transform you. And that's what taking risks and, and following pursuits and goals is all about. So the next thing I want you to think about and write out is what will your world look like when you actually take that risk or when you actually achieve that pursuit or goal? What will your world look like? So, for instance, if you were to go and look, you know, for a new job or a new employer or a totally new career or a business or a relationship, obviously that's going to create change in your life. It could be that you have to move. It could be that you buy a bigger house because now you're making more money. It could be that you have more in the bank account. Whatever the case might be. What would your world look like when you go and take that risk? And you've, you know, even if you haven't fully achieved it, you know, when I took that risk, what, back in 2012? No, I guess it was 2013. I never dreamt of writing a screenplay, or, you know, or as other people will put it, a film. I never, I never dreamt I would be creating, you know, something that could be on a big screen or even a small screen. When I even wrote that book, which was a risk because, you know, all of a sudden people are going to be able to read and judge, right? That's what we're always thinking about is people are going to judge me. But, you know, what I did in order to get past that is I really went through this whole series of questions for myself and said, what is my world going to look like? And I might not know, and you might not know, but what do you think at this point in time your world is going to look like. And because it's what you want that world to look like is why you're going to actually take that risk. And then you'd be amazed at how greater and how bigger and how brighter and how more exciting that world actually turns out to be when you actually go and do it and/or you achieve it. I mean, I'm at 5 years in and I haven't achieved it yet. I've achieved the, the world shifting and the world changing, but I'm still working it and I'm still putting myself out there. So get, you know, get focused on what will your world look like. And I want you to also think about what will you look like. If any of you have been following the program for a while, and I'm talking, you know, I believe I started this back in 2011. I would say around 2012, '13, I started really realizing the physical, emotional, spiritual transformation I was going through. And it became evident when I was actually asked— I ran into a couple of my colleagues from the company I was fired from. I ran into them at a park, my local park, and I was running, so you can imagine I was sweaty and all this kind of good stuff. And I ran into them and they were out walking, and the two of them kind of looked at me and they're like, uh, did you have something done? And I'm like, what? And I kind of knew what they were talking about, but I was like, what? And they're like, well, you know, did you have any, like, work done? Because you look like, you know, you're 10, 15 years younger. And, uh, so you, you know, your world will change, but so will you. And I will tell you that the reason why I looked 10, 15 years younger at the time, um, it wasn't because physically It was really because of what I was feeling inside that was oozing out of my pores and coming through no longer as a scowl or, you know, depressed. Not really depressed. I've never been depressed, but not really angst, not really pissed off, not really frustrated or even feared or fearful. It was, you know, now it was kind of peace and acceptance and you know, so forth and so on. So your insides really start emulating your, you know, on the outside. So what will you and your world look like? Now again, hopefully these questions are getting you excited and moving you forward to saying, wow, this isn't the big deal I've been making about in my head. So now I want you to get a little bit more logical. I want you to start thinking about, okay, now I kind of understand why, what, where, how— well, now not the how, That's where we're going. Now what I want you to do is simply say, okay, what are 3 things I could be doing right now to, to go ahead and take this risk? What can I be doing right now? What are those 3 things that I could be doing right now to start pursuing, uh, this risk, this goal that I want? Uh, and, and you're not making excuses. So this isn't about— I don't want you to kind of discount things because, oh, I don't have money, so I can't do that, or I, you know, I don't have, um, 'You know, people I work with, so I can't do that.' 'I don't have a good resume, I can't do that.' I simply want you to say what are the 3 things you could be doing right now toward whatever risk you want to take. From there, you want to prioritize them. What's my most important? Well, or have the biggest impact? What's the second? What's the third? And then I want you to then focus on the first one. And now you can start thinking about, okay, what do I need in order to achieve this? You can even start thinking about, okay, what are going to get in my way? What barriers, what obstacles, what fears, what insecurities are going to get in my way? Because you know why? Because what I want you to do next is every one of those barriers, obstacles, whatever you want to call them, have a solution to them. There's a solution to every problem. So if there's an obstacle such as money, there's a solution to it. What do you need to do to make more money? Or, or, or acquire more money. If it's the fact that you don't have the expertise or the skill, so what do you need to do to go do it? Uh, whatever the case might be, there's a solution to every problem. Okay, and then what could go wrong? We talked about that. What are the obstacles? But what really could go wrong? So say you did want to pursue something, you have to go out and raise money, you raise money, and then you don't get where you want to go, you know. So think through all of those things. But thinking about what could go wrong, which is actually what's creating your fear in most cases, but looking at it in that vein of what could go wrong kind of dismisses the actual emotion of that fear. It just says, okay, what could go wrong and how can I mitigate, how can I upfront take care of that going wrong? What can I put in place to ensure that it doesn't go wrong? If it goes wrong, then you can kind of, you know, make adjustments and and figure that out at that time. The bottom line is this that I want to bring to you about this. Remember, the only thing I want you to be thinking about through this whole process when it comes to your fear is this acronym. That's all I want you to do. The acronym is— for fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. You not taking those risks because you think you're riddled with fear is simply because you haven't logically thought about all these things that you could actually be working through and focusing on in order to really realize that even that biggest risk that you want to take. I mean, I am sitting here, so I'll use myself, sitting here writing a script that could get rejected, rejected, rejected, rejected, rejected, rejected, rejected, and then, you know, maybe someone decides, you know what, we— no one wants it. We, you know, we all kind of say, okay, no one is looking to do this. That doesn't mean I give up. That doesn't mean it's not a good project. That doesn't mean it's not something I'm going to pursue. It's a risk, but then I can decide, okay, well, maybe I do it myself, or maybe my option is that I put it on the shelf and forget about it. So all my fear that I might, you know, kind of get riddled with that prevents me from even pursuing it is actually false evidence because there are options. I could go and do it myself, or I could put it on the shelf, but it's my decision. Make sense? So what I want you to do when it comes to this question, which I get a lot— so when I, when I was approached about this question about a week and a half ago in preparation for something that we're going to talk about, um, in one of our next questions, um, you know, it wasn't that one individual. I could see it in multiple individuals. So I just thought it would be important to address. Bottom line, get it— get out of your head, get out of your heart, get out of the emotion that's wreaking havoc on you being able to do what you want to do, and get it down on paper and put it as a plan and get it in black and white. And I promise you, I guarantee you you will all of a sudden realize that that fear that's been holding you back, maybe for a day, a week, a month, a decade, a lifetime, was really useless energy. Just totally useless energy. Wasted energy. So stop wasting your energy and put it toward really understanding how you can go and pursue your goals. All right? I wanted to spend a lot of time on that, so that's why I did. Um, and hopefully it was helpful. Possible for you. We're going to take a break. I'll be right back and we'll get into our next Ask Bernadette Anything question. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, TSR Consulting, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate size clients. Go to TSRConsulting.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at deborahparker78@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch Shedding the Bitch Radio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. We are addressing your questions, stories, and challenges on our monthly Ask Me Anything or Ask Bernadette Anything episode, which is the first Tuesday of every month. So you can participate by posting your stories, questions, or challenges out on our Shedding the Bitch Facebook or Twitter page. You can go to LinkedIn and send them to me directly through LinkedIn. You can even email me at BernadetteBoas@sheddingthebitch.com. You can also call in while we're live on the, on the air for another roughly 25 minutes. You can also be calling me, 1-818-572-2910, and we'd be happy to take your questions, you know, live during the program as well. All right, all right. So our next question actually is whether you are a stay-at-home mom, a solopreneur, a corporate executive, a business owner, or you're just an individual, a woman or a man in a relationship or wanting a relationship or whatever the case might be, uh, we all have to pitch ourselves. I don't know if you've ever heard that term, but every day we're marketing ourselves. Every day we're selling ourselves. Every day we are pitching ourselves, whether it is to find a mate or to find a job or to find a client or to get a promotion we're always selling ourselves, and in that sales, there is a pitch that you're making, or it's a presentation, as a lot of salespeople like to call it, as opposed to a pitch. You know, we're always kind of positioning ourselves or our products or our services or whatever the case might be. So I loved getting this question, and I actually— it was kind of a gimme because over the last several weeks I have been working with a committee on putting together a pitch event with— for film and television here in Atlanta last week. So I wasn't surprised because I do this a lot throughout the year. I plan pitch events which can bring together creatives, film and television people. But regardless of what industry you're in, it is important and it's a great trait and a skill to have to learn how to pitch, 'cause like I said, it applies to anything and everything that you're looking to do and accomplish. So the question was, what, what makes a powerful pitch? In this case, it was twofold. It was what makes a powerful pitch for raising funds. So say you have your own business or a product or a service and you're looking for funds to apply to developing that product or service. But it was also in relative, relevant to this pitch event. It was also what makes a powerful pitch to studios. So HBO, Lionsgate, E! Entertainment, Amazon, whatever the case might be, what makes a really good film or television pitch to them. So, but again, regardless of what the pitch is,, which we are all doing on a regular basis, you can apply these, these tips and pieces of advice. OK, so the first thing I— the first thing and the only thing, and the big thing that you just need to put on a piece of paper is you. You could say you as in the letter U, or you could put Y-O-U, but the most important factor of any pitch in any situation for anything that you're pursuing is to— for you to be you. Be authentic, be open, be vulnerable, be coachable, because on every end of a pitch you're going to get feedback. You're either looking for a yes or a no. You're looking for what worked, what didn't. You're looking for a, you know, purchase order, and when it doesn't come, why. So you need to be very you, but you also need you to be very open and vulnerable and coachable and active in that, in that pitch. But many pitches, and it comes down to even meetings, client meetings or whatever the case might be, are more structured. So for instance, a fund for investors or a TV or film, you get a certain number of minutes and typically those minutes are like 3 to 5.. But I'm sure many of you, especially a large audience that we have of business people, especially entrepreneurs, you also heard of the 30-second or the 60-second elevator speech, elevator message. That's a pitch. And it doesn't matter if you're pitching a product or service or you're pitching yourself as a brand. That's a pitch. It could be 30 seconds or 60 seconds. We'll talk more about the, you know, the 3 to 5. Minute pitch. It could be when you're actually in a client meeting. Quite honestly, the last few minutes of when you actually ask for that order, that's a pitch. So what, what are the components that make up a really powerful pitch other than, and most importantly, you being you, being authentic, being open, being vulnerable, being coachable? You want to tell a story. Everybody relates to stories. So there's this big thing in sales about not talking about features and functions and benefits or not, I'm sorry, not the benefits, not feature functions or traits of a product or service, because no one really cares how that computer works. No one really cares what that widget does. No one really cares about what that film or television, uh, thing, how it's going to get done. What they care about is what is the value, what is the impact it's going to have on the customer. Uh, so you end telling stories to kind of, um, make that relatable to the person that you're talking to is going to be key. Now that story might take like 1 minute, it might— you might use up 2 or 3 minutes of that, of that 3 to 5 minute pitch. But you know, part of it is you're going to be talking about you and then you're going to tell a story relates to that product, service, or in my case content, or whatever it might be. When you're pitching for a relationship, You know, what do they ask you? So tell me about yourself. Well, they're not looking for, well, I, you know, was born on this day at this time to this, you know, they're looking for kind of what makes up you, what defines you, what is that story of your life. So you craft in that structured time period that you might be given, you break down, you break that 3 to 5 minutes down, and you say, okay, I'm going to give them my one-line of who I am, and then I'm going to go in and I'm going to talk about my story of, you know, why this product or service or piece of content, um, is relevant. And then now it's— this is all going to be based on who you're pitching to. So for instance, I'll give you a for instance. When you're pitching to investors, you're pitching money, right? That's your ask, is going to be for money. So your You need to talk about you. You need to talk about your story where that project or service is concerned, but you also need to make sure your pitch covers money. Now, for a film or television to a studio, you're not going to talk about money. They're not writing you a check, so you need to know your audience so you can tailor your pitch to that. If you're, you know, pitching a, a guy or a gal for a relationship, you know, you want to know. What it is that makes a good relationship, and therefore what might they be looking for. And that's what you, you know, kind of hone your pitch around. Again, being very authentic and being very you in, in doing that. So again, a lot of pitches, especially the one I was asked about, is structured 3 to 5 minutes. So we got to who you are, some backstory, you know, what is your request? What is it that you're asking for? So for that investor, you have— you told about— told them about you, you told them about the product or service, and now you're looking for $25,000 in order for me to be able to do X, Y, and Z. And then you're going to go into, and the value that that's going to bring you, the investor, is this within, you know, the next, you know, 2 to 5 years, whatever the case might be. Whether it's a film or television, it's the, you know, the value is you're bringing this great content that's going to, you know, be able to generate X amount of dollars in the theater, or it's going to go over multiple seasons if it's on TV, and it's going to bring in great advertisers and marketers and all that kind of good stuff. So there's always a, you know, financial element to it, as much as there is, as much as there is that backstory and that value proposition around the product or service. The number— well, the second thing, because the number one thing was you. The second most important thing you need to make sure your pitch includes is some, what I'll call, quiet airtime. Basically silence. Basically you want to kind of end with enough time left to where you can simply say, do you have any questions? Or is there any input or feedback for me? And then shut up. And allow them to give you feedback that could make your pitch that much better, and/or it could allow them to say we're interested, or maybe, you know, we're interested but you have to work on this, or whatever the case might be. That is the number one area where most people mess up, is they don't leave that airtime. All of a sudden they make the, you know, they may give their ask, as they call it, they give their ask and then they keep talking and they never really just go quiet so they can get a response. And then the meeting's up, and especially in the, in the structure that I was asked about, you know, that 3 minutes, that 5 minutes, when it's up, you're out of that seat and you have to move. You don't have an opportunity to stick around. Now, the executive might ask you to stick around, but in a lot of cases they don't. Your client might allow you to stay in the meeting longer, but in some cases they're back-to-back and they don't have time. So you want to— if you want to make a powerful pitch, one, you should plan it, you should practice it, and then you should do your best to actually present it, um, and, you know, in order to, um, either come out— now, I want to emphasize this— you could come out with a yes, you could come out with a no, and both of those are wins. What's not so much a win is if you come out with like nothing said, nothing decided on, and you're left in limbo. And that happens quite often. So if you really want to make a powerful pitch, whether that's for a job, whether that's for a relationship, whether that's for a, you know, investor fund, whether that's for a TV film idea, whatever the case might be, you just want to make sure you have these factors or these components in your pitch. You. Your backstory, or why this is relevant. Uh, some, uh, kind of value proposition in regards to whether it's a client or investor or whomever, or a relationship. Like, what are you bringing to the table, and how are they going to benefit from it, and what's in it for them? So you might have heard the term WIIFM— W-I-I-T— with them— what's in it for them— W-I-I-F-M. T, what's in it for them, and that's their value proposition because that's what it's all about. It's not about you, it's not about your product, it's not about your service, it's about how are you going to change their world. All right, and that's what will make a powerful pitch. So I hope that answered your question. All right, we're going to keep going and then we'll take a brief break. So the next question that was asked of me And it was when someone— well, they've actually followed the show, and yet at the same time they've been, I guess, waiting to ask me a question, because a lot of people can be leveraging radio and podcasts for their business or for their personal brand. So they may not have a business, but maybe they're a speaker, maybe they're an author, and they haven't formulated necessarily a business, but they want to really focus on their personal brand. And radio and podcasts are great means for doing that. So the question to me was just how can someone benefit or leverage a radio or podcast to actually— in this case it was about someone's business, and then I just added for this discussion, even if it's for your personal brand. And then what are some basics of doing that? I was actually asked recently too to write an article about this for an online newspaper, and so you'll actually even see me taking this and blowing it out quite a bit. So I'll be posting that on Facebook and Twitter and sending it to the individual that asked me about it. So how can you leverage radio or podcast in order to expand your business? Well, first off, if you— we all have something to say. You'll hear that a lot, you know, as an author and a screenwriter. I believe every single one of us have a story, have things to share, have things to teach, have things to coach and mentor on. Every one of us, if we've lived on this earth for a day, has something that we could be sharing with others in order to you know, make someone else's day brighter or easier or more creative or open, whatever the case might be, based on our own experience. So that said, you just can't get on a radio show and just kind of talk, although sometimes I feel like I do that. You, you know, the first thing that you want to do is you really want to understand why. Why is it that you want to do a radio or podcast. So, so thinking through and answering the question about how can you leverage radio or podcast for your business or personal brand, it's really just building a business plan or a business case before you take action on it. So what is it about it that you think could benefit your business? What would the theme be, or what would the promise, as many people will call it, What promise are you making to your listeners, to your audience, as to what it is that you're going to accomplish through your radio podcast, through that amount of time that they're going to take in listening to you? And then you work through who is your audience. Is it young? Is it old? Is it men? Is it women? Is the combination? Is it business? Is it personal? Is it corporate? Is it entrepreneurial? Is it for the African African American community? Is it for the Asian community? Is it for everybody globally? You really want to get very business plan-ish around it. So who's your target audience? What kind of format do you want to use? Is it an interviewing type? Is it where you have a co-host and the two of you are just bantering? Is it where you have guests, purposely guests, that you bring on to the program because you want to work with them. Let me explain that a little bit more. There is someone in town and I admire and respect her greatly, and I just thought when I started my radio program back in 2011, I think it was, I really kind of looked to her to kind of, you know, figure out the model because what I was very impressed with is she's in the Oh geez Louise, she is in the insurance business, business, oh thank you, business insurance business, and so her audience would be other business owners. Her clients are business owners, so what her format she decided to do is that she would have a 50-minute radio program/podcast. And what she would do is she would invite 3 business owners in that are local here in town, and she was in a studio. And that's another thing you want to think about. Do you want to do something in a studio, or would you rather be able to be very flexible and do it right, you know, from your couch or from your office and not go into a studio? There's different reasons for, for any of the formats you might choose, so that's a question that you want to ask yourself. I tend to do both. I do a lot— it's everything's done through my computer, but at the same time I might go into a studio and do it from there. I might go be at a conference or on vacation, because many of you who follow me, every May I take my show with me. Uh, I bring guests into my studio or into one of my, uh, offices, Rome offices, and we'll videotape it So there's a lot of things to think about. But what Amy did is those 3 individuals were client— there were potential business owners that she wanted to do business with, and she therefore was providing them a platform, which she made very transparent. She was providing them a platform to talk about their business for like 10, 10 minutes or 12 minutes of her program, and, and she'd give that opportunity to 3 of them. Each week. It got— it allowed them to get to know her, allowed her to get to know them, and then she used that as a lead generator to where then she, she went and would pursue them and, and build a relationship, you know, from that and take it and allow it to go wherever it went. So she does it from a business building perspective. I tend to do it from a brand development perspective. So I want to bring you— and my promise is to bring you experts and messages and topics that would allow you to, you know, transform, be motivated, be inspired to really create and accelerate whatever it is that you want to achieve in your life. So my guests are really not as much about, you know, people I can work with or potential clients for me, they're more so experts and resources for you, of which then I'm building my network and my brand. So you just want to find out and figure out for yourself kind of why would you be doing it, for what purpose, for what audience, what's the value to them, um, how is it going to support your business or brand, uh, and then what is that format that you want to be doing. Um, so those are more, you know, the technical questions when you get into that. And then, uh, you can simply, uh, kind of go about, uh, finding the platform that you might want to use. So there's a lot of platforms out there that you could be using. Again, you can go into a studio. I'm sure any— wherever you live around the world, there are these, um, radio studios that you can rent space and have a weekly show, a monthly show, whatever the case might be. Uh, there's online platforms where, like, what we use is BlogTalkRadio. Where they provide you that, that software where there's a studio platform where you can have commercials and put up links and broadcast live from it, and then it creates even a podcast for you. So you can research platforms like Buzzsprout or Podbean or Blubrry or even BlogTalk. Just Google podcast platforms and you'll find it there. And once you find kind of what platform you want to use, then the basic equipment— either the studio is going to provide it for you, or you go out and you buy yourself a microphone, a headset, maybe a, a soundboard, an editing piece of software. There's a number of things that you would then put in place technically, and even a website so you can store it. You might then engage with one of the many distributors, distribution platforms, iTunes. I'm drawing a blank on its name, but you can just kind of Google what are all the components of doing a podcast or a radio show, and then you just do it. And so my number one piece of advice I'll leave you with on this subject is simply do it. Play with it, you know, practice it, adjust it, and just have fun with it. If you find that it is going to serve a purpose, then just have fun with it.

Okay.

All right. All right. I just noticed the time and I want to get this last thing in. Actually, I said I had 2 questions, but I'll leave the other one for next time that I got in this morning. So the last one is, what do you— when— oh, I'm sorry. 'When do I know it's time to cut ties with a friend, relationship, or even an employer?' And really, that comes down to, you know, again, it's a series of questions. You know, are you noticing a pattern? We get in our head about these things, and yet it's, it's a simple process of elimination, process of decision-making, process of problem-solving. So you simply say and ask yourself questions like, what, you know, why am I in this relationship? What value does it bring to me? You know, how do I serve the relationship? Or what impact does it have on me, good, bad, or indifferent? What would happen if I had no longer had this relationship in my life? What changes and shifts can I make If, for instance, say you can't kind of cut ties permanently with someone, uh, then you're gonna have to change. You're gonna have to shift. You're not gonna change them. We've talked about this on the program before. So what can you be doing in order for you, uh, to shift and be able to manage productively and effectively without it being detrimental to you? How can you maintain that relationship? It may not be in the same, um, manner that you've had before. Maybe you cut back on the communication, you cut back on engaging with them, you cut back on spending time with them. Uh, you know, whatever the case might be, you simply have to kind of figure out for yourself why you're in this relationship to begin with and what is the problem. What is the root problem of the relationship? Is it because you've moved on, you've changed, you've adjusted, and they've stayed the same? Is it because you're looking to grow and they're holding you back? Is it because, you know, you no longer have anything in common, even if it's an employer or if it's a friend, let alone a relationship? You know, if it's not serving you is the bottom line. If it's not serving you in any way, then that answers your question. And now, is it hard to make that change? Absolutely. Absolutely, absolutely. If anybody tells you it's not, they're, they're fooling themselves and they're not doing you any good or any justice. So yes, it's going to be hard, but then the questions you need to ask is, again, very similar. If you go back to the early part of the, um, call or the program, there are other questions. It's very similar questions you need to be asking yourself is, you know, what will my world look like with and or without this person?? And if it's, you know, a better world, better life, then you have the answers to it. And what steps can you take? Maybe you don't do it all at once, but over time. So what are those 1 to 3 steps you could be taking to make that relationship different than what it is right now? All right, I'm going to keep that on the list for the, for the next program. And if any of you have that question for yourself, let's dig deep, deeper into it than what we were able to do today. All right, I want to thank everybody and all of our people that have sent me their questions, stories, or challenges. Keep them coming throughout the month, and we'll be right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time for another episode of Shedding the Bitch Radio. Thanks everybody, and have a beautiful, beautiful week. Talk to you soon.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.