Ask Me Anything!

Blog Talk Radio.

Hello and welcome to Shedding the Bitch Radio, where you can discuss, debate, and get advice on how to discover and shed the bitches of fear, insecurity, self-doubt, and negative mindsets so you can realize your dreams and life purpose and create an accelerate the riches you want in life. Join us here live every Tuesday at noon Eastern and dialogue with us at 818-572-2910. You can also chat with us at blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitch or share your stories on our website at sheddingthebitch.com. Whatever the bitch is that's holding you back from living your life to the fullest, it's not worth giving up the riches in life that you deserve. So call in now and let Bernadette Boas know what's holding you back.

818-572-2910. Good day, good day, good day everyone.

How are you?

Happy May. Can you believe it? We're actually, what, 7 days into May already? And this is our Ask Me Anything episode, our first Tuesday of the month where I take your your questions, stories, and challenges and provide you tips and advice. But before we get into all that, again, happy, happy, happy May. I'm coming off of a long vacation, and you know what that's like when you come back. I'm only 2 days in, and I feel like I need another vacation already. I'm sure you can all relate to it, but it was a beautiful, beautiful time with my 5 sisters, couple nieces, Ocean City, New Jersey, if any of you are familiar with it. A quiet, actually a dry town, meaning that they don't sell alcohol at all, whether it be in grocery stores or distributors and in the restaurants, no alcohol. But of course, we're Irish after all. We hit the liquor stores that they have right as you enter the island. They have on both ends distributors. So, but beyond the alcohol, it was a lot of fun. We saw a lot of dolphins. We hung out on the patio and saw a lot of, you know, dogs and people walking the beaches and just hung out playing games and chatting and catching up and discovering new things about each other, even after all these years and decades. It was a fabulous, fabulous time, but reality always hits when you get back. And now I'm just kind of getting my head back into the game and moving forward. And I hope you all had a fabulous week as well. As I mentioned, it is Ask Me Anything Day. So we have a couple— we have several interesting Interesting questions from you. One's all about perceptions, and in this case it's about a coworker, but we're going to talk about it regardless of who it might be, and how do you change one's perception of you. And then I did get a couple of entrepreneurial— more so entrepreneurial, but it can relate to corporate as well— questions. One from a makeup artist a few weeks ago, and she has a question about building clientele. And then the other is interviewing. It's actually looking for a job and the struggles one has when they've interviewed with a dozen or more companies and for jobs and they haven't gotten one yet. So they're questioning what they're doing wrong. If you have a question, story, or challenge, whether you're listening live and/or you're downloading our podcast, at any time just post that post that question on Facebook or Twitter on our Shedding the Bitch pages. You can also— because I always talk about the fact that I get the majority of them, uh, via LinkedIn, uh, so you can also go out there to my Bernadette Boas profile page on LinkedIn and send me a private message, or you can send it directly to bernadetteboas@sheddingthebitch.com. No matter what, we want to hear from you because we want to make sure that you're getting the support the advice, the tips, maybe some tough love that you need to move yourself forward. And if, again, if you're listening live, you can, um, you can also call us at 1-818-572-2910. Uh, Deborah's out there manning the, uh, the board, so to speak, and so she would see if we have a caller and we can take your call live. Uh, so let's see what else is going on. Um, Mother's Day week is coming up. So I want to do a shout out to all the mothers out there. Mine's passed, so you gain a huge, huge, huge appreciation for moms. And for those of you who are moms and those of you still with moms, it's a beautiful, beautiful thing. But my mother's always with me, very close to my heart. So I'll do a happy, happy early Mother's Day to everyone out there. And Deborah, or Deborah Parker, our famous producer and social media guru. She's a mom, so happy early Mother's Day to you too, Deborah. So let's see what else. Of course, you can always go out to blogtalkradio.com, look for Shedding the Bits Radio. You can go to sheddingthebits.com, our radio channel there, or you can go out to iTunes, Apple Podcasts, and a number of the other streaming services to find all of our past episodes.. And we've had some really good active conversations in the past. So check out all of our episodes there. I apologize, I don't have the list in front of me. I'm actually sitting— I'm running late from appointments, sitting in a car and talking with you. So I don't have my usual list of our previous episode shows, but you can take a look at all of that, all of them. There at those various sites. Uh, let's see what else, what else we might want to talk about. Oh, I, I hear— haven't really heard a lot because I haven't gotten back onto, uh, heavy social media news, that kind of thing— but I have heard that Harry and his wife— I'm drawing a blank other than Markle. Deborah, would you happen to know? Megan, a royal baby.

Who?

Megan. Meghan Markle.

Megan.

Thank you, thank you. Harry and Meghan had their baby boy. I guess we're gonna have to wait a couple of days for the name. And, uh, I guess there is an uproar about the fact that some people are speculating that the baby was born a couple days ago. Some, you know, questioning why it was so quiet and private and that she already had given birth by the time they even announced that she's in labor. You know what, all I have to say to all that is, shh, quiet. This is their time. Let them do it any way that they want to. And they're doing it, you know, if they want to do it and it's— they want to do it very quietly and very privately, you know, all the power to them. Because gosh, would you like to be under that spotlight? Oh, I know, I, I know that I wouldn't want to, especially when it comes to something like this that's so precious and so, um, close to that, to their hearts. So we all just need to take a deep breath. The baby is going to be around for quite a while, so when you meet them, you meet them, so to speak. All right. Let's take a break. Let's get ready, and when we get back, we will dive into our first question, which I absolutely love, all about perceptions. So we'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients. Go to ngtaxsolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email deborahparker@deborahparker. Va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests and showtimes. Topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone. Today, as I mentioned, is Ask Me Anything, and basically you can, whether it's about your business, your career, or anything regarding your life. If I can't answer it and I know the question in advance, I'll make sure that I get you the resource that you need, even bringing them onto the program to answer your question. But if you happen to be out there, you call in or you Facebook or tweet in, and I still can't answer it, I'll make sure that you get that connection to that resource. I have a very wide net of resources out there, of experts around the world, actually. So don't hesitate. To ask, and I won't hesitate to say, you know what, that's not my area of expertise. I might provide you my insights or my own views on something, but if it's specific tips and advice that is not my area of expertise, then I'll make sure that you are directed to the person that can help you. But today's questions, I can, and we're— I'll recap as I did a little earlier ago what our questions are about. The first one's about Perceptions— how do you change one's perception? The second one is how do you build a clientele when you've tried everything? And the third one is what— you know, basically it's an assessment of what am I doing wrong when I've interviewed more than a dozen times and I haven't found a job. So whether you're corporate, entrepreneurial, or stay-at-home, don't worry about it because I like to flavor all all of the questions and all of the responses to whatever facet of life and/or business that you're in. Because I have found throughout the years that whether I have corporate clients, I have entrepreneurial clients, I even have not necessarily stay-at-homes, but individuals, personal coaching, life coaching clients that can use all the tips and advice that we talk about here on Shedding the Bitch.

Radio.

So the first one came from me, from actually multiple people, believe it or not. For some reason, I would say the last 6 months in my little world of my clients, this has been a big area of focus for them. And it's basically, they don't put it in so many words, but the bottom line is what this last individual came to me about, and it was was, how can I change a coworker's perception of me? They see me to be very demanding, direct, too tactical versus strategic, and just everything that I try to do, and I've, you know, I'm working hard to kind of not be demanding, not be direct, be more strategic, and nothing's working. So what can I do? The first thing I'll tell all of you when it comes to perception is you need to understand that one's perception is one's reality. So you're not looking to change one's perception. Obviously you are, but you're really not. What you have to focus on is you need to change the reality of you. Perception is reality. Think about it for yourself. Your viewpoint, your perception of something is your viewpoint or, or perception of something. So 10 tons of arguments— you know, come up, and, and difficulties and confrontation comes up because of the fact that however we view the world, whatever lens you're looking through, whatever vision you have, is your reality. So the first thing you can do is, even if you have to write it down and kind of look at it, is recognize that when you say you need to change, or you want someone's perception of you to change, or maybe you even need to change your perception of some— someone or something, you're actually saying that you you need to change reality, whether that's for yourself or for somebody else. In this case, it's somebody else. So what an individual needs to do— what this individual needs to do is recognize that their coworker, her— their reality— and I believe this is two men— their reality is what it is that you're trying to influence. Now, that said, that said, that the whole focus is on that other person. You can't control whether or not that perception has changed. So it sounds like I'm, you know, kind of talking out both sides of my mouth here, but I'm not. The first thing is that you need to recognize that one's perceptions are reality and to put reality, you know, in big bold letters. But on the flip side of that is you can't control whether or not you'll ever be successful in changing their reality. So I'll give you, um, some realistic or real examples, and I'll use myself. Uh, as many of you who've listened to the program and/or have been involved in the community, uh, for some time, uh, who I am today is vastly different than who I was in 2007 at the peak of my bitchhood, I'll call it. Uh, the peak of me being a very curt, demanding, abrasive, loud, dismissive, arrogant. Let's see, I'm trying to think of what my dear friends and family have called me in the past. You know, and just overall bitch. And, you know, yet it's not like I flipped the switch and I was a different person. It took time. So I'm not even the same person I was 4 years ago. I'm not the same person I was yesterday. And, and you all, each of you, go through a journey of your own, an evolution, a transformation, a shift of your own. So to this day, what is it, 2007, '08 to 2019, 10+ years, and I have still yet been successful despite how transformative the last 10 years have been. And how different I am, and, and different, and moving to the right where I'm a kinder, sweeter, funnier, um, or at least playful, more fun, um, nicer, compassionate, empathetic individual. Um, and yes, that's my viewpoint, but it's also others, just so I put that out there. Um, but regardless of all of that There are some individuals' reality I have yet to be able to alter. I won't even say change. I've yet to be able to even alter it. They still just see me just like, you know, think about it, especially since we talked about moms earlier. Especially if you're a mother and you have, you know, you have children and say you have a really difficult child. Say you even have not only difficult, but say that they're older and they put you through hell for whatever it is. You know, there's two views or two lenses you might be looking through at that individual. One is always going to be at that child, that they're your child, they can do no wrong, you know, regardless of whatever it is they put you through. You know, they, you know, they are the sweet, you know, gentle, what, you know, kind, loving, goofy, sarcastic, what, you know, child that you adored when they were, you know, born 5, 6, 7, 8, whatever the case might be. But there's also a second lens you might be looking through at that individual. And regardless of how much they've changed and transformed and evolved and moved away from maybe some trying, difficult painful— I'm trying to think of some dramatic words here— you still— and they, and they've gotten on the other side— you still kind of can get triggered into viewing them and seeing them in that old way, and, you know, in that trying, painful way. So you, you, each of you, if you've lived on this earth more than you know, 5 years, you reckon, you know, you've been through an experience where, um, one, your perception, your reality of someone, despite someone's growth and change and transformation, you still are stubborn and stuck and only seeing them as you've always seen them, regardless of how hard they tried. So what it is that we're all trying to do, and in this case what this person wants done is for that person's view of them to, uh, change. And you just may not be able to control that in any way, shape, or form. Um, so we're going to talk about— then the focus has to be back on you. It has to then come back to you, putting aside that other person because you can't control them. The focus has to come back to you. Now I'm going to like kind of, um deviate just for a second, um, because I'm experiencing something amazingly awesome at the moment. So if you don't mind, I'm going to just, uh, divert for 2 seconds. I'm sitting in my car, I mentioned at the top of the hour, and I'm actually sitting in a very, um, park, foresty type of setting. And I'm having this conversation with you about perceptions, and I mentioned my mother— and, you know, and I mentioned, you know, happy shout-out to— happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there, past or present. And as I'm sitting here— and I'm close to tears, actually— as I'm sitting here, there's a red cardinal. A beautiful, bright cardinal came down and has been sitting on this railing, staring at me. Ever since basically I started this conversation about perception. And if you know anything about cardinals, especially if you've lost a loved one, cardinals represent lost lives, lost souls. And when a cardinal comes into your path, it typically means that, you know, someone from the past is coming back to visit and to say hello, or just to kind of give you comfort, or, or whatever the case might be.— and this cardinal's just sitting there staring at me. So it's very— it just totally moved me while I was chatting with you. And I'm going to sit here and continue to chat with you while admiring my mother. And I'm going to say that it's probably the spirit of my mother through this bird. And I can say that because I do believe in the man above and the miracles that he can provide and the signals that the world gives you. When you need it. And it's not that I need it, but it's just a beautiful, beautiful reflection of our conversation today. But I will come back. I'll come back to reality and back to our conversations regarding perceptions. So you can't— you can want, and this individual can want, that coworker's perception of them to change, and that's a good want to have, especially if it's, you know, that it is kind of a negative perception and you want it to be, you know, shifted and transformed. That's a beautiful thing, but yet you're going to have to focus on you, and you can't control anyone outside of you. So now let's go inward, and what can you do to change one's perception of you? Really, it comes down to you just being you, and if you love who you are and and all facets of you, then all you need to do is be you. If you recognize and/or you're becoming aware of there's things about you that you feel you should be changing for the better of you, then it's just a matter of you being aware of that, you acknowledging. As we talk about here, the Shift to Riches Formula, you know, you discover that You confront it— good, bad, or indifferent. You shed what you don't want, you keep what you do want, and you move on to create and accelerate the riches in life that you deserve. So you just simply— if you want to change, if you feel you need to be changing, then you just need to become aware of what it is that those changes need to be, in what direction, how hard, how easy. What are you going to do about it? All of those kind of things. But you just need to be you. And now, if you aren't sure— because this is what keeps me busy with my coaching practice— if you're not sure of kind of where you're at and, and really who you are, um, and I, you know, it's amazing to me, um, uh, you know, how many times I'll talk to someone, even this last week with my 5 sisters, I'll talk to someone and kind of really, you know, just say, you know, what is it that you want, or what is it that you're striving for, or what do you stand for, or what are your values. And, you know, no fault to anyone if they— if someone was to respond, which many do, I don't even know that, I'm not even quite sure what that is. You know what, so this is your opportunity now that you're aware of it to now be, be, um, present with it and to work on it, because self-awareness and honesty with yourself is kind of the first step. Now, that said, you could also— which many of my clients do, and I propose and recommend to their, their managers and their company— is you can also go out and get assessments from other people about yourself. What is that perception? What is, you know, how they're viewing you? How do they respond to you? How are you impacting them? Good, bad, or indifferent? So you can also seek third-party viewpoints so you can become aware and be honest. And even if it's hard, let alone easy, because you're not looking just for the, oh, someone's kind and sweet and funny and and I love being around them. You also want to say, well, except for the fact that I think, you know, they're a little defensive or they're a little negative or they're not as confident or secure with themselves as they, you know, deserve to be. You want the hard and the easy assessment from third parties. Now, you don't have to be in corporate and be, you know, and have an official 360. Type of an assessment done. You can go out and do it on your own, even if, you know, it's outside of work or outside of your own business. I did it about, I want to say it was roughly around 2009 to 2010 period, when I did recognize kind of the, the type of person that I was and the fact that I didn't want to be that person anymore. But I really didn't understand the impact I was having. On other people. So I went and asked. I asked my— I asked my 5 sisters in the same type of vacation we had this week, uh, this year. We've been doing it for about 18 years now. So back then in 2009-10, I sat down with them with some cocktails in front of us, and I said, okay, this is what I need from you. I need your, you know, your honest, blunt What is your assessment of me? Good, bad, and indifferent. What do you love about me? You know, what can I change? What should I continue doing? What should I stop doing? That kind of thing. So, you know, recognize that you could be going out, if you are kind of unclear, or maybe you just haven't confronted it, and you could be asking other people, what, you know, what perception do you have of me? What is your reality? How do I impact you? You know, what could I be doing differently? And seek it out. But overall, if you want someone's perception of you to be different, most likely you want it to be good. You want it to be about the fact that you're kind and you're confident and, you know, you serve others and you are compassionate and empathetic. And if that's the case, then guess what? All you have to do is be those things. If you want people to see you in a certain way, then you just need to be that certain way, whatever that is to you. Now the other thing too is if you recognize that someone's perception is askew, is negative, is not where you want it to be, then flat out ask them. Different from the assessment, because the assessment could be that you just want to go out and ask various types of people. In your world, whether that's business or life, about their viewpoint of you. But if there is a particular individual that you need to, you know, or you want to shift, then ask them point blank, I recognize that we have, you know, differences between the two of us. You know, what is it about me that creates whatever the situation is, whether that's conflict or tension or lack of support or lack of friendship or engagement, you know, whatever it is that you're feeling from them, flat out ask them. Because if you already have a negative relationship with them, then it's not going to get worse. And 9 out of 10 times, you being kind of woman enough or man enough, to step up into it and confront it with them. And I don't want to use confront as a negative automatic defensive, you know, your defenses go up. Confrontation is a, can be a positive thing as well. It just means that you have the courage enough to deal with something that may not be easy and that may not be simple and may not be happy or joyful. Um, so look at that as also a positive thing and flat out ask them. I can get— well, I won't guarantee you because I don't know those other— that under— other individual, but if you were to walk away and they don't have some degree of respect for you after that, their—

your—

their overall perception of you may not change, but maybe that one area, that one element does, there's a shift right there that you've made. So kind of own it and, you know, go ahead and choose to confront it. Let's see, what else would I want you to know? That— oh, and the other thing, and I've actually researched this and, and read various views of individuals, especially coaches, when it comes to perceptions and how to change it, because Everything we do as coaches, whether it is business or life coaching, it is around someone wanting to change. And most likely, a lot of times, at 99% of the time, they'll say that they're also wanting other people's viewpoints of them to change. Because someone doesn't do the work just to— they do it for themselves and they should only do it for themselves, but they're also looking to change the world in some way, shape, or form. And, you know, so one, you want and hope that that happens. At the same time, you can't focus your transformation and your desire to want to be different, be new, and be better— you can't, you know, you can't focus on the fact that other people ever recognize it. And that's a conversation I always have to have with my clients. Is because they're like, well, no one's recognizing it, no one's saying anything to me, no one's this, no one's that. I'm like, well, you have to stop worrying about whatever everybody else is thinking. If as long as you're doing what it is that you need to do and you're being, you know, the person that you want to be that is positive and kind and all the good stuff, then eventually, trust me when I say, um, if it's not verbally acknowledged it will be in one way, shape, or form. It might be that they start engaging with you. My one client the other day said, "Oh my gosh, I took your advice on something, I won't go into it, and all of a sudden I'm getting them to engage with me, and I'm getting them to actually return my phone calls, return my emails, where for the last year, year and a half, they've gotten a, you know, they've gotten a wall put up." So it's just a matter of you making those efforts. Now, what I was getting to was it won't happen overnight. Your change won't happen overnight, and other people responding to it and recognizing it and even acknowledging it won't happen overnight. There's no instant shift you're going to make in someone else's reality. It just doesn't happen that way. So be patient and be willing to just kind of take a deep breath Work on yourself, and as you work on yourself, your whole world and universe will change, and eventually others' viewpoints of that, their reality, will be shifted as well. All right, I spent quite a bit of time on that. So, we're going to take a quick break, and then when we come back, we're just going to make sure we get both of those other questions in, so we won't even take a break after this one. We'll be right back.

You are listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. We are inspiring individuals around the globe to discover, confront, and shed their bitches of fear, insecurity, and negativity so they can create the riches in their career, business, and life they deserve. Be sure to check out Bernadette's book, Shedding the Corporate Bitch: Shifting from Bitch to Rich in Life and Business, available on Amazon and sheddingthebitch.com. We also want to thank our sponsors, North Georgia Tax Solutions, who offers a broad range of tax services for small to corporate-sized clients. Go to NGTaxSolutions.com to learn more. And Parker House Virtual Services, who provides virtual assistance and social media support for small to medium-sized businesses. Email Deborah Parker at DeborahParker@parkerhouseservices.com. Va@gmail.com for more information. To become a sponsor or advertiser on our program, email us at mediarelations@sheddingthebitch.com. Shedding the Bitch Radio airs every Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Be sure to go to blogtalkradio.com/sheddingthebitchradio and follow the program for all of the updates and announcements of our guests guests and show topics. Now let's return to Bernadette and Shedding the Bitch Radio.

Welcome back everyone, and welcome to our Ask Me Anything, Ask Bernadette episode, which is the first Tuesday of every month. Do you believe it's already May? Ah, I can't. But anyway, so I definitely have several questions from you. The first one we talked about, if you're just joining us, is all around perceptions. We're going to get into how to build a clientele when you're at your wit's end. And then our last question is centered on job search, job interviewing, and what am I doing wrong if I've been on a dozen or more and I still haven't found a job. So I'm going to make sure that we get both of those questions in the last about 15 minutes of time that we have. So we're not going to even take a break, and we'll wrap up making sure that we get both of your questions addressed. All right, so this next question came in from a makeup artist who has a business, has tried everything to build her clientele, and has not been successful. What am I doing? Well, what, what else can I be doing? Well, I would kind of pose that a little bit differently because it is not what else could she be doing. It is what is she doing and what is, what is she, you know, doing right and what is she doing wrong or what is not working. And what is not working, what changes or what shifts is she making based on what is not working for her. So, There's a lot of makeup artists out there, and just like any profession, just like any product or service, if it's solving a needed problem that, that someone has, then there's no reason why someone's not successful in delivering that solution to their client unless One, they are— they have a product that no one wants or doesn't have an issue with. They're not targeting the right individual or individuals that they should be. They're not potentially in the right market or industry based on what it is that they're offering. Now, in this case with the makeup artist, you might think, oh, well, you know, there is a different client. Client types or different industries or different segments that I should be going after based on me being a makeup artist. I'm a makeup artist, uh, and I would tell you you're absolutely incorrect to, to assume and to think that, um, because one is, uh, you might work best in like, say, like a film industry or for people that are do marketing and do, um, headshots. Maybe your type of makeup that you do is best for commercial— commercials, used in commercials. Maybe it's best for people who are going to prom or getting their high school photos done, for weddings, wherever, wherever, you know, there might be uses for makeup. Maybe it's for entry-level people that can, you know, just for maybe $100 makeup. Maybe you're, you know, you're best suited to go high-end and you're, you know, serving the rich and famous, so to speak. So there is a client, in this case for makeup artists, there's a client who needs makeup artistry work. So my first question to this individual would be, What type of product or service do you have, and who is best, you know, target for you as a client, as a customer? And the minute I hear any apprehension in being able to answer that question is really where I start digging, because this is the number one problem those individuals have selling a product or service and they don't have enough business is that they aren't going after the right target client. Now, that said, yes, it can be broad, and majority of entrepreneurs, you know, that you might meet out there, especially let alone corporate— corporate has a lot of money they can put towards really doing the research needed to find the perfect target client, but they also make mistakes.— and we'll talk about that in a second. But mainly this will happen when it's entrepreneurs and they go at it as if they can take care of everybody. "Well, I can do anybody's makeup." And I'll tell them, "No, you can't." And not everybody wants your makeup in this case. Not every price point is suitable for your clients. Your clients aren't necessarily, you know, not all clients are going to fit into your price point and vice versa. So, the very first thing I'll have them talk about is not only the product and service, we'll move beyond that, but those are— there's a lot of questions there that need to be asked. But more so, if they have the product and service and they really understand that, then the next question is around the client. And are you really focused on— the proper client. Now, going back to the fact that they try to hit everybody, the thing about that is you— no one, and I don't care if it's corporate or not corporate, you don't have enough time and money to market and present and close and then execute on everyone. So you have to be able to pick your spots. You have to get narrow. You have to get focused. You have to get all your energies into a segment. Now, that doesn't mean you have to stay there forever. You know, you can move on and expand as you're learning, as you're getting successes, as you're making mistakes. You can move on from there, but initially you need to get really focused. So I happened to pick up the phone to this particular individual and challenged her on these questions. And definitely she had an issue with her client base.

She—

if you're in Atlanta, our film and entertainment industry is huge here. And it has been growing, you know, for the last 7 or 8 years. Everybody wants to be in the film industry. So you have people from all the entrepreneurial segments of the world, you know, looking for what can they be doing in, you know, the film and entertainment industry, whether it's TV, film, even commercial. And yet I would say 99% of them are never going to get into the industry. So this particular individual had been spending so much time and energy and money, even though she never equated it to dollar bills.

She—

I said, the minute you spend one minute, literally one minute, pursuing something, you're spending money. And it could be gas and could just be your valuable time. So You have to get really, um, uh, targeted and realistic. And that's where this came in, the conversation with her came in. And I said, is it realistic for you to be a makeup artist in the film and entertainment industry? What previous work have you done? What clients do you already have? What projects have you already been on? Because, you know, breaking into the— to any industry is hard, let alone this industry. And this industry when you have no, um, client base, no, no experience. So then there's that question. The next one thing she asked me was, well, but I need to, you know, I need to, um, I need to get the client in order to get the experience in order to then, you know, build in the industry. And I'm like, yeah, that I know, it's a horrible catch-22 you're in, but everybody deals with it. And you need to then go and stop worrying about getting revenue-generating artistry work and do an internship, or offer your services for free and get on a project, or to start creating videos and going and pitching your work through a portfolio, you know, doing— coming up with a lot of other different strategies other than spending a lot of time and money where it's— it never has been working, obviously, to turn into a client base, which is what her main concern and issue is. So until you get a good idea, for any of you, whether it's corporate or entrepreneurial, you're struggling in building your, your business, you need to look at whether or not you're being specific, you're being realistic, you're being relevant as to where your, your skill set is to the client base that you're targeting. And do not throw everyone into your client base, meaning I can do it for anybody. You can't, and you shouldn't be, at least initially. Once you have a big old roster and you have too much work to do, and then maybe it slows down and now you need to build your client base again, well then you have a lot of ammunition. To go after and finding new clients and new business. You wouldn't be asking this question about, "I've tried everything and I still can't build my clientele. How do I do that?" So, get narrow, get focused, get really specific and relevant toward where your skill set, where your price point fits. Another thing with this individual, she was also looking to do high-end. And I said, well, what's your price point? You know, what do you do your makeup for? She's like, I'll do it for like $200, $225 a session. You know, even when it came to weddings, I'm like, but you recognize even for the wedding industry, there's people that, you know, will certainly spend $225 on their makeup for their wedding, but there's some that won't, won't hire anybody unless it's like a $2,000 or $3,000 price point or even higher. $2,000 price point. There's a clientele there that would never even, you know, spend their time talking to you because they— even if it's not— you, you'll do just as good a job at $225 as a $2,500.

You're—

the problem you're trying to sell is their, you know, perception of what it is that they want. And they think, you know, because they can afford $2,000, $3,000, they think that someone who is only spending $220 or only costing $225 isn't the same quality, isn't at the same level, doesn't, you know, fit into their crowd. So you have to get very, very realistic and relevant as to where you fit and then go after that marketplace. And then the other way to build your clientele is just make sure the strategies that you're using are appropriate for that target market. So that could be face-to-face, that could be emails, that could be tutorials or videos, that could be social media, whatever the case might be. And we don't have enough time to get into all that, but the number one question I always go to when someone asks me about what am I doing or what more should I be doing when, when it comes to building a clientele, I ask them, who is your client? And challenge them in every way, shape, or form around that one question. And most likely, if you're having problems building your client base, it's because you don't have the right client in mind or you're not targeting the right client. So, focus on that, work on that, and then you can worry about all the other questions like the market, the industry, the price points, so forth and so on. All right? Okay, I noticed the time, so we're going to move on from that. And I want to get in this last question because I haven't had someone with such a dramatic situation when it comes to their interviewing and their job search. However, we can all, you know, kind of relate and then leverage the tips and advice. So this particular individual, And I kind of called it down. They actually said they've been on dozens— that's with an S— of job interviews, and they're just not able to even secure a second one, or let alone multiple interviews to then, you know, eventually get a job. So the reason why I find that very— not unique, but why I really wanted to talk about it is There comes a time and there comes a point where you have to look inward. This individual is doing something that's turning off the person that they're interviewing with. This doesn't have anything to do with their resume, doesn't have anything to do with their cover letter, or even their follow-up that— or preparation or follow-up that they're doing. This has to do with In this case, it did have to do with how they're coming across.

Let's—

you know, we're going back to that perception, you know, that discussion we had at the top of the hour. So I had to drill into literally going through mock interviews with this individual to then find out that how they're approaching their interviews, whether it's on paper or in person, was very, what I'll just say, I guess I won't just say because it's not coming to me. It's a turn-off how they're doing it. So, you know, what are they doing wrong? In this case, when they looked at, and I actually audioed first and then had to use Zoom to then video it, they were coming across very dismissive, very cocky, very, um, uh, not aloof. They definitely were thinking that they needed to kind of like not share everything because they wanted to protect, um, I'm not, you know, protect, not give everything away because they, especially because it was very heavily, um, lingering on their salary, the price point that they wanted. They wanted to kind of come off almost aloof because they wanted to make sure that They didn't give it all away to then negatively potentially influence the salary that they really wanted. So there was a lot of things when it came to just their engagement in an interview, whether, again, it was written or it was face-to-face or even Skype and Zoom, although they weren't using Skype and Zoom for their formal interviews. I did it with them. So, you know, I had them really think about, you know, what are they doing? What do they— what's their perception? What's their reality of how they're coming across? What are they not doing? And in this case, it was they weren't asking questions themselves. They weren't being engaging. They weren't kind of, I'll call it, sitting forward. They were kind of leaning back and as if, you know, they owned the room as opposed to recognizing that actually They are, you know, wanting to be asked to be in the room. So everything that they were doing physically and mentally and verbally, someone either gave them really bad advice and/or what they were telling themselves was needed certainly was coming off totally not welcoming in any way, shape, or form. So it was a difficult conversation with them, and what I would leave you with is if you're not getting a job offer, especially in a hot market— if this was 2008 and you came to me and said, "Well, Bernadette, I've been on dozens of interviews," I wouldn't have been— I wouldn't have felt that it was a dramatic, unique situation because everybody was. But today, in a hot market, especially in IT where they are, I knew immediately that this had nothing to do with their resume, it had nothing to do with their cover letter, had nothing to do with kind of all of that, it had to have to do with how they were approaching and engaging during their interviews. So, you know, I would just look after yourself, you know, how are you engaging, how are you interviewing, are you going after the right job, are you going after the right rules, the right companies, are you being realistic and relevant to what it is. In this case, He was being very realistic about the job— type of job he was going after, which was a senior job, the salary he was going after, the type of company. All of that, which I would normally talk to you about, which you need to be considering, was very relevant. But then his whole approach to that was really kind of askewed, and that's where he needed to work on. So, I would tell you, if you're struggling with interviews, first look at all the kind of the basics. Are you going after the right roles, the right jobs, the right companies? Are you being realistic about the salary, about, you know, what it is that you're going to be able to contribute? But then you definitely want to be looking at, are you properly engaged with the resume, with the COVID letter, with the— follow-up? Are you then interacting appropriately? Are you asking questions as much as answering them? Are you giving enough information, if not even more information, than what's needed for that interview and that expectation? Did you do your, your homework and research the company, research the manager that's hiring you, research the manager you might be working for because they could be different? Are you doing all the checklist type of items in your job work. You know, looking for a job is a job in itself. So are you doing the things and treating it with that degree of respect that it is a lot of work and you need to put in the work in order to find that job? So that's kind of where I would suggest you focus on. And in this case, I did have to then take that video, record audio, and let them listen to it as much as watch it so that they could actually kind of become very aware of how they were initiating and executing their own interviews. So just something that you all would want to keep in mind as well. All right. All right, I think that I'm looking over, making sure I gave you everything that I had. Our Ask Bernadette is every— the first Tuesday of every month, as I mentioned. So at any time during the month, you could post it on Facebook or Twitter, and I will get to you immediately, and then we'll bring it here onto the program and drill into it even further and deeper. And you even have an opportunity to jump on and contribute and participate in that discussion as well, should you choose to. So for everybody here in the Shedding the Bitch community, thank you so much for listening, and I look forward to having you right back here next Tuesday at noon Eastern time. Take care, everybody. Have a great week.

Thank you for listening to Shedding the Bitch Radio with Bernadette Boas. Join Bernadette every Tuesday at noon Eastern as she helps you shift your bitches to riches. And the dialogue is always going on at sheddingthebitch.com. See you next week.